Is your insecure partner driving you nuts?

[@lordhelmet77]

I went through this with two different long term girlfriends. Now it’s like I have radar for this kind of stuff and I move on immediately when I see it starting. If you’re the secure one in a situation like this the best thing to do is to get the hell out! Insecure partners are are very difficult to change, and thier constant drama and fear based crazy shit will drive you nuts. Run away from these people!!

[@NarnianLady]

yes... it is sad that no one can be helped against their will... counceling can only go that far. If a person cannot see their ways being harmful, it is a fight against windmills.

[@ebonyjoseph9489]

Yeeesss!! This behavior gives me major anxiety 😫 I can’t deal with this. My mental health is very important to me.

[@Areyoukiddingme64]

This happened to me. Constant accusations of things I wasn't doing AT ALL! I tried so hard to reassure him but nothing helped. He would call or text non stop ALL DAY LONG to keep tabs on me, on my way to work, at work, at home, and even in the middle of the night to check if there was somebody else in bed with me!! I asked him to get help but he refused. He didn't think he was the problem, he thought the problem was me. I finally said enough is enough and ended it. If the person refuses to acknowledge that they have a problem then there's nothing else you can do.

[@jessicat2304]

I feel crazy

[@JoBiatch]

@lordhelmet77, you are 5,000% correct! People like that will drain the life out of you. When I finally got the hell out, it was like I escaped a cult!

[@isabelm1623]

I went through this!! It took away my peace!!! I tried everything but he never wanted to cooperate and never admitted he needed therapy, GOD knows I tried to save our relationship but he never accepted. His insecurities wasted my Love for him..

[@maryamattar5657]

Lety milga I’m going through a breakup that was caused by the same issue. I tried every way that was mentioned in this video but didn’t get anywhere. I guess you can’t make them believe how painful it’s when they start questioning you, and at the end of the day if you want to get out of that toxic relationship they say you are leaving them bcuz you never loved them.

[@missmademoiselle5972]

Lety milga I’m really suffering at the moment in my life and I have sacrificed my peace, sanity and everything. After going through a horrible divorce I was vulnerable and ended up with a narcissist who was damaged and he damaged me but I need to get the power back and walk away for my sake. It’s really difficult and I need to learn to be alone, accept things for what they are and face the pain as I already am in pain. But sometimes I feel I don’t want to be alone because I love being with someone but then when I’m with him I’m in severe pain too.

[@carajordan4377]

My husband is that way. He refuses help, we did marriage counseling 3x and no luck. I'm really feeling like a failure. But most of the time I want out

[@hildaackah8678]

I’m currently in such a relationship and as I type, we are arguing over something of this nature. It’s getting tiring after 4 years of being together, of me constantly having to defend myself. We are fine today and the next time something pops up and he won’t even ask me to tell him what it really is. He will stick to his perspective and refuse to believe me, most at times what others have said about me. It is really frustrating and for the first time I really want to be alone. It hurts to love when the person only thinks negatively about you.

[@Pouya..]

Maryam Attar I was there for 3 years I did everything I could but she never accepted that I am faithful and loyal... She couldn't stand my friends my colleagues even my family my love has been wasted get out of that relationship and save your life

[@xhotwolfx]

I finally stopped trying to defend my innocence to my ex. I was so fed up with his accusations that I finally fed into his doubts and fears by agreeing with everything he accused me of. In other words, I lied to make him think he was right so I can finally leave the relationship. I was starting to feel crazy and felt this was the only way to get my life back. I stayed loyal to this man for 15 years and realized there’s nothing I can do to be good enough. Never again will I comprise my peace for anyone.

[@vhead612]

I’m scared that I am wasting my time. It’s so stressful that I can’t even care for my daughter at a minimum 💔 falling out of love & he can’t help himself.

[@a.alexander9221]

I'm guilty of being the insecure partner. It's good to see my partner's perspective

[@SusanWinter]

Try not to imagine the worst. Amazingly, things get better!

[@shymultimedia]

A. Alexander good for you! :)

[@rosesmiles2384]

At least ur willing to change unlike my partner

[@Lore-wv5mt]

But why are u that way....I'm the same way

[@hildagbormittah2104]

False accusations and unnecessary misunderstanding ,there is nothing u tell them that they Wil believe you! I had enough and l end the relationship

[@jenalenelatonio173]

I am dealing with this right now. It is really painful. This whole thing will eat me alive. It is already toxic. Accusing you of things you did not even do.

[@eliseoborrerobass]

Hey: You are not alone. I am going through this too, my wife wakes me up at 3 AM. telling me that I was mentioning other names while sleeping! I tell her I have no idea of what I said, but she is crying and making up stories. I love her and don't want to abandon her, but we are humans and it gets to a point when you don't even want to talk to the person, and this makes it worse. I really don't know if I should just leave to avoid any other problems. I just don't know what to do. I try to tell her to get therapy, but she does not think she needs it. Let me know if you find a cure for this.

[@yourguitarpal]

The pain is real! Of all the crazy insecurities I was subjected too I was also being accused of not showing love while I slept! It was driving me absolutely nuts!

[@Tommyaeb]

Jealousy is pure poison. And it gets worse over time

[@justinorprecio3094]

"...it's their healing that needs to happen" it's her fears that made our relationship fall apart; i sincerely hope she figures out this part, whether or not she decides to reach out in the future; she owes it to herself to be tougher, and more importantly, wiser thanks for uploading this

[@SusanWinter]

So happy you watched this one, Justin. It's their work to do. That's correct. We can support, but we can't heal them-only make a safe place for them to heal themselves.

[@sincereone2388]

My spouse accused me of cheating with a person in an advertisement on my phone and used the add as proof. Beyond rediculous! I have learned to let go, keep calm and hold my peace while letting him go on his emotional roller coaster by himself. He says he loves me continually but wont extend even an ounce of trust so the relationship has hit a dead end.

[@luvburden5743]

Cheating with the advertisement person!!?? Thats wild!!!

[@chosentheempress]

I’m sorry but 😭😭😭😭 I’m done. Lord help them

[@yourguitarpal]

Thank you so much for this, after 3 years of emotional drainage and having insecurities thrown at me left right and center I left today. I love this person so much, but it was just too much.

[@SusanWinter]

I commend you on taking care of yourself

[@yourguitarpal]

@@SusanWinterI will thanks! I feel really empowered now

[@SusanWinter]

@@yourguitarpal YES!!! GREAT TO READ THIS.

[@MrCgerm00]

Paolo Paganelli The crazy thing is logic doesn’t even have an effect on the accusations. My partner can make a scenario without a person in mind. Seems like she saying I’m having a affair with a ghost 👻

[@MrCgerm00]

Can’t even go to the gym without her feeling some kinda way.

[@Blingionaire]

Wow so spot on. This is what I've been dealing with for some time & I'm sick of it. I'm constantly second guessing myself & walking on egg shells because of his past issues that he brought into our relationship.

[@Ohkeh640]

You should leave

[@Areyoukiddingme64]

Get out it's not worth it. I suffered for 2 years and finally said enough is enough. It's not your responsibility to fix his/her issues and if they even refuse to see there is a problem to seek help what else can you do but walk away.

[@mulbeo]

I used to be an insecure partner in my past relationships. In my current one, I have become the secure one. It's weird to be on the other side & I have to admit my insecure past has actually helped me to better understand my current partner's feelings. However, he still makes me go crazy many times, such as today 😣

[@Undoing88]

Hi friend, I am in a very similar situation. Would you mind letting me know how it went? I wish you luck!

[@blueberrycornbread]

And, it will be outta the blue. Having a good evening etc. then all the sudden am I all in after I said I was all in multiple time? what a drag

[@MarketingIsFun301]

Thank you for posting this. I realized I met an insecure man on a dating site. Within one week he unraveled on me when my humanity got in the way of his fantasies. He admitted he was having trouble meeting women on-line and women would ghost him. When I wasn't in constant communication with him ( big mistake! Will limit all communication from now on) the accusations started. I won't go through this again and admitted there was no way I could make this work if he wasn't willing to admit he had a problem. I politely ended the communication and blocked him. I really want to see the dating sites establish a flagging system for members if a complaint has been filed against a member for troubling behavior.

[@stephenwestmoreland7268]

You are so right! Ive been trying this for years but it keeps getting worse and I'm at a loss. When I tell her she needs to deal with this it's always a fight that I don't give her enough attention. I tell her I can't give attention to someone who doesn't trust me. Now I'm eating Xanax twice a day and my thoughts are consumed with what its going to be like when I get home. Don't know what to do...

[@MrCgerm00]

stephen Westmoreland I can relate 100%. I might as well have typed your comment

[@jweber168]

@@MrCgerm00 it’s 100% my life too

[@lr7815]

@@MrCgerm00 ditto

[@mistymidnight4447]

The more comments I read, the more it seems as though mental illness is contagious. So many mentally healthy people going into relationships with mentally unstable people; only to find that the mentally healthy person develops mental issues/anxiety etc because of the mentally unstable person forcing their issues onto the other. That once mentally stable person, if assaulted for long enough, then carries those issues into their next relationship. It’s really starting to feel contagious.

[@rahkeembattiste8752]

Leave her

[@rebeccadare6686]

I have tried doing all of the things you have mentioned. I am now getting to a point where I can’t take anymore. It’s his birthday in 4 days. We have two holidays/vacations booked and I’m finding myself not wanting to go to them. I don’t want to see him. I am fed up. But at the same time am unsure of what to do. Deep down I think il be happier on my own as I now feel like I’ve lost myself trying to constantly reassure him. Am I bad person for leaving the relationship?

[@queerasthedayislonglove8950]

Rebecca Dare he just loves you more than you could imagine. I’m going through a deep depression atm and I have this strong feeling my wife is cheating. I love her sooooooo much (been married for 12 together for 16) and can’t imagine a life without her. I’m a burden to my family atm so I totally understand if she wants love from a more stable man but it hurts so bad!! Today I’ve made the choice to never push insecurities onto her, it’s not hers or yours for our shortcomings. It will destroy your partner but you need to be happy.

[@RaluBoza]

@@queerasthedayislonglove8950 this is not love, causing pain to the other

[@devyn5174]

Queerasthedayislong Love the best advice I can say for you is to be the best person you can be. Focus on working on yourself through this process. If wife has a chance of loving you like she did, she will once she sees your change. Don’t forget, however, that it is her right to leave if that is what will be best for her. I do believe since she made a marriage commitment, she does owe you the respect and comfort you will need through this process IF she does decide to leave. Whatever happens, the pain you will experience is temporary. And the more you work on YOURSELF (see a counselor/therapist, work out, eat healthy, start a hobby you’ve always wanted to start, spend more time with your kids if you have them. Doing these things will benefit you whether or wife leaves or not. Do it for YOU. Focus on you.

[@Love4life527]

Rebecca Dare I went through this with my ex and I was completely drained constantly defending myself. Ultimately, he moved out of state so I was off the hook. I truly loved him. I actually still love him BUT I love myself more. My ex needs help but I can't let him destroy me in the process. I hope your situation is better now. Good luck!

[@kelvinchris8589]

Hello, don't waste your time watching these videos KZbin, because it doesn't get the job done. However, I was referred to a professional on Instagram @eddsoftware who completely got me access to my spouse mobile phone remotely. Well, at first I was skeptical, but to my greatest surprise they were able to finish up the process without any detection, I literally can't stop thinking them for helping me out, please don't hesitate to message them for services on WhatsApp [phone] or ([e-mail]) for more information.

[@Cjtenderloin]

I think this is where I am. She is an amazing woman, great with children, a hard worker, financially responsible, takes care of her body, keeps a clean home, very good animal caretaker, we share the same commitments to family and community, but her insecurities are eating the relationship alive and driving me away. I’ve gotten her to begin therapy. But, it feels like for every great day we have, I can almost guarantee that within 48 hrs there will be a massive argument. It’s like the rush of dopamine and serotonin she got from the bonding plummets and we’re back to square one. Her past is very sordid and filled with a great deal of trauma. She talks to a therapist about her behavior, but I’m always stressing that she needs to get to the root of the behavior. That she needs to face and work through the trauma that manifests the behavior and triggers her in the first place. She’s not there yet and I can’t push someone to dig through hard parts of their past, but I’m so worn down from the anxious lashing out and up and down emotional roller coasters. Her seeking to self-sabotage her own relationship. I’m so frustrated I use curse words in arguments now, I told her to “shut up” in an argument. I have NEVER spoken to a partner this way in my life. I’ve never been pushed to a point of just blind frustration. Once she gets into a heightened state, it’s like she can’t stop from talking, even if I ask to retreat, to calm down and gather my thoughts. It’s like asking to leave the space triggers her abandonment fears and she resists even more until I blow my top. Then I’m left feeling horribly guilty for saying things I regret even though I ask time and time again for space so that I don’t get to this point. I grew up in domestic violence, that type of tension really gets to me, I was conditioned to cut and tear down as a means of survival in my home. I’ve spent my entire life working against that conditioning and being in a relationship that’s triggering this for me and the boundaries around that not being respected makes me want to flee. I just feel like I could cry sometimes. She’s given me all of the responsibility of managing this relationship emotionally. I don’t think I can take it anymore. And as a man, we’re conditioned to deal with this shit. I can’t. I’d rather be alone and lonely, then someone trying to pick a fight every time something hurts their feelings or doesn’t go their way or gets interpreted negatively. It’s ruining the attraction. I hardly want to sleep with her anymore. Sometimes I don’t even want to come home from work right away. And I used to race home. Now, i drive slowly and sit in my truck for 10 minutes. Saying all of this out loud made me realize how profoundly unhappy I am, damn.

[@eliseoborrerobass]

I hear you, I go through this almost every night. My wife wakes me up at 3AM jealous of what I said while sleeping. I wonder if it's me or if it's her imagination inventing it, because I don't think I can sleep talk every night about a different girl. I love my wife and I am waiting to see what happens, but if this continues, (and it has continued for a long time) I will just leave because my health is important to me, and I cannot love anybody if I don't love myself first. My sleep is being deprived, my blood pressure is being going up and that kills. Try talking first, like the video suggests.

[@emmalynrae592]

You have some really incredible insight! You are 100% correct. She needs to heal her past traumas and internal struggles because whether it’s with you or with someone else, these feelings will manifest themselves throughout her whole life and plague every relationship she gets into. Therapy is a serious healer, but only if they take it seriously and actually start talking about the deep pain that takes control of their life. I know this personally from experience, having grown up in the foster care system I had ALOT of baggage I didn’t even realize I was carrying and after a year of therapy I can honestly say I’ve never felt better about MYSELF.

[@Hydrasiac]

I needed to know this because i really am constantly defending myself thank you for your help

[@hildagbormittah2104]

Stop defending yourself my dear ,it Wil not help.l got tired so l end the relationship

[@Hydrasiac]

@@hildagbormittah2104 twas two years ago, but I did end up ending the relationship

[@hildagbormittah2104]

Me just a month ago,tho it was happening ever since we started dating

[@christina7702]

How do you feel now? I am in a relationship with a guy whose doing the same thing. Did you regret it?

[@Hydrasiac]

@@christina7702 I feel absolutely incredible, I took a lot of recovering to get out of the mentality of always defending myself and taking blame for things that weren't my fault. However, it is so worth it to get out of a realtionship like that, and it's not your fault they can't treat you with respect, you deserve atleast that

[@LeonaPayton-u9l]

Oh my gosh I am loosing my mind and I am not pleased with the relationship it upsetting my peace of mind that I just finally gained I don't have the Energy but he can be attentive then he starts with some stupid accusations and everything I say is twisted ~ Lord have mercy on my soul

[@moniquesings23]

Your advice always empowers me and sets me free. You are truly gifted for counsel and you have become a true blessing in my life. You almost always know what my questions are and then end of giving me great answers. Thanks so much!

[@SusanWinter]

Monique. What a beautiful note. Thank you. So pleased that you are feeling good when you see these videos. I appreciate your heartfelt comment.

[@Muhluri]

Damn I wish I saw this before I broke up with them. You PERFECTLY described what I was going. I was constantly explaining and giving proof of why their suspicious are and just never believed me. Honestly, I'm glad we broke up because this behavior would have just gotten worse over time

[@ashleyjones7714]

I've only been married a year, and my husband was so insecure and jealous in the beginning. Thankfully, with patience and time he calmed down a lot so he's very trusting knowing he has a faithful and loyal wife. I find marriage to be quite a challenge, much different from the fun and carefree, spontaneous life I once lived. Marriage has forced my husband and I to work on our issues being that it's the ultimate unity of two people coming and staying together.

[@shanananabooboo]

How did you and your husband get to the space where he could trust you?

[@mamisotrue]

Shesh I’m glad you shared this but really how did you work through his bs !

[@camilleorfao]

This is the best advice I've heard regarding this type of issue. Great video, Susan! I look forward to seeing them pop up on my feed.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Camille. I'm honored to be in your feed!

[@Rozie32]

Thanks for the video x

[@zoemrubata2484]

I'm the insecure partner, I've never had a history of this with my previous partners. Yes, I'm probably insecure than the average person, I don't know if lock down and just being at home has worsened things. Sometimes I do great but sometimes my thoughts take control and takes me to a really dark place where I feel out of control with my emotions. I don't know how to get out of this place because it's ruining our relationship, I really love my partner and I don't want to lose him😞

[@alrasheedsalih8746]

apologise as much as possible

[@PYT.123]

...and then stop

[@angelamonahan2573]

@@alrasheedsalih8746 The problem with that tho.... as the destructive behavior continues, all of those 'repeated apologies' can quickly lose value and start to sound REAL hollow and meaningless. 😕

[@rahkeembattiste8752]

U are a Energy vampire and u not going to change. Get some Garlic and salt and sit in the bath tub for five hours. And think to your self. What made u like this

[@Memomommy]

@@rahkeembattiste8752 I’m the same way, I’ll go a week with out being toxic then my old self shows up. I have driven myself mad. I’m just not a relationship person I think I’m too selfish and controlling.

[@danieledaniels8996]

I've needed this for so long! Couldn't have been said any better. Thanksssss so much!!! May God bless you.

[@SusanWinter]

You're welcome, Daniele.

[@Lowpressure29]

Thanks for the vid Susan! This is exactly what I'm going through right now. I'm the one being accused because I sleep a certain way by pulling the cover all the way up when I get cold and sweating in my sleep. Her ex husband use to lay next to her and text other women with the cover over his head so I must be doing it. Why is your phone turned over at night etc. It's like I'm caught in a cycle with her...insinuate, apologize, later down the line same thing. It's been like this for 10 months. Exhausting! She's in therapy because I pushed her to go and she claims it helped her to let go of the past and her past doesn't bother her any more but it was just a matter of time before this started over again. It literally is sad that she can't get out of her own way.

[@k4ir0s]

Has it gotten better? Update? Sometimes I think that people who constantly accuse you are actually projecting what they themselves are doing.

[@kate9653]

I have been insecure in many relationships and I do believe it at least contributed to the distraction or at least slow progression to a toxic relationship. My exes had (many) of their own issues and often were also insecure and avoidant in nature so in general our disposition together was not great. But I can see the need for me to change this in a new relationship so that things won’t proceed in the same manner in the past. It was hard for me to accept I was part of the problem. But now I see it.

[@marcusp905]

Dump them life is easier that way !!

[@Zhaturianvisionz]

You always break it down flawlessly. Great advice

[@divahoney2001]

This was incredible helpful. Because I am the one triggered by my past. But hearing the other side really help me. Thank you

[@waynesworldizm]

I am going through this right now and it’s driving me insane. I think I need to get out of this relationship because it’s the same thing over and over. She’s insecure even of my friends. Any female friend I have, she thinks I have had a past with them even though most of them are in very happy relationships.

[@ahmedqureshi1310]

Im going through same 😢😢 Cannot handle it anymore

[@washredskin887]

LEAVE.. People like that DO NOT change.

[@rahkeembattiste8752]

True that. It’s a game to them

[@rahkeembattiste8752]

Even if credit get messed up leave get out and rebuild

[@keylamontanez2453]

Im going through the same thing right now. It’s honestly tiring & it’s honestly draining. My boyfriend accuses me of cheating all of the time & I know I haven’t. Even in my own room he thinks I’m cheating on him & mind you I live with my mom & dad. I sleep on the phone with him every night, apperantly he hears things like “ moaning” things like that. & always asking me to show him my room & show him my pants. It’s an everyday thing & it’s honestly tiring & draining. & I tell him the same thing everyday, saying the same thing everyday & hearing the same thing every day is honestly tiring & exhausting.

[@kaylam.5668]

I’m pregnant with my first child and my boyfriend is the insecure one. I react angry sometimes but most of the time I talk to him calmly and turn it around on him like you said but it doesn’t work. I don’t know how I’m going to make this work

[@वनप्रस्थ]

When a partner keeps badgering you with insecurity questions and snide comments and you don’t respond, what to I say when she says that I’m giving her the silent treatment, just because I won’t explain myself or answer her insecure-based questions? Now Im the bad guy for giving her the “silent treatment”.

[@christina7702]

I’m going through the same thing right now, and I’m debating on whether or not I should dump him

[@mistymidnight4447]

@@christina7702 run like hell and don’t look back

[@Muhluri]

She'll be mad no matter what you do

[@Hades1980s]

Or if you don’t dignify a response it’s automatically assumed that “you’re hiding something,” or being suspiciously defensive.

[@rbcmee9783]

I had same issue with my ex bf, and eventually we broke up, the issue was not easy to fix especially it was carried from his past, so I gave up and decided to move on, it was so much pain and heartbroken...

[@lalaleenax]

hope you're better now ...

[@bigsterms]

I'm in that place. Constantly being accused of things and accused of having a tone when I dont have a tone lol which makes me angry for getting accused for things I would never do. I once downloaded tik tok to watch funny videos and christian motivational videos and she stated its a site for cheaters??? Wtf? I deleted it bc im not even dealing with it anymore.Its draining the life out of me. 5 years invested with her and her kids and I dont want to take the easy route but I havent smiled in a long time. Thank you for the video. Glad I came across it

[@edwardl4866]

This JUST happened to me 😂😂. And she has Tik tok! Like tf, you can have it but when I download it, it’s to look at other girls? 😂😂

[@bigsterms]

@@edwardl4866 exactly lol. So annoying

[@jessa9877]

Just broke up with my bf because I didn't want to deal with that issue. No matter how much I like him, I know I'll have no patience for his shit.

[@kritikasingh7992]

Hey after how much time did u breakup with him? Can u connect with me pls, same situation i was in

[@Emma_Beme]

I know it’s almost come to the point my peace and mental health is more important than all the anxiety and stress you keep bringing up bc of this imagined drama and it’s making it hard for me to love you like I want too

[@bryantpatterson312]

You just perfectly described my relationship. Wow.

[@evolvinali]

Thank you so much for this. I’m in tears😭

[@Brumbasse22]

Susan, you are amazing. This was something I didn't understand in my previous relationship. The guy was so insecure and it got so bad he started accusing me of gaslighting him when I tried to logically go through these far-out scenarios he would come up with. It hurt me and I got so much anxiety. I just couldn't figut out what was going on but this video finally gave me some answers. Thank you

[@FreethinkersInternational]

I love your erudite, clear and forthright approach. Thank you. I’m a subscriber! I need to watch this clip over 20 more times!!

[@VulgarRage]

Yeah. My ex was crazy jealous and controlling. After a long time I had to end the relationship. But I loved her. I don't think there was anything I could do.

[@jweber168]

Do you feel at peace?

[@VulgarRage]

@@jweber168 no. I had the worst time of my life. I went into a deep depression. I wish I could make peace with her. To this day I still get sad sometimes and I had to seek help to get over it.

[@Mortikar]

@@VulgarRage so sorry, brother. you are not alone, and damn, i have much respect you stood your ground. It is a VERY hard road. I ended a relationship for different reasons than yours, but I am in the EXACT same boat as you. I haven't felt this much of a loss since I was a teenager and love sick over my high school sweetheart.

[@zkart8038]

@@VulgarRage you can love her from a distance and let her go. Your peace matters more.

[@MissLettyLove]

Sometimes the insecure partner has gotten hurt and betrayed so much that their confidence and security does drop/:

[@MetalCooking666]

I agree with everything you say in this video. The hard part for me is that it seems that 90% of women I date have this problem and so I wonder how realistic it is to expect things to change.

[@catherinegarcia570]

Thank you for this video! Sometime I really do feel crazy and question myself like “am I really doing these things?”

[@claytoncarmack5061]

Your are the only person I have ever met who actually understands the situation I’m in and I’ve been trying these things but he’s always putting the monkey back on me acting as if it’s all me... and he blames a lot of my anxiety on my pregnancy but it’s not all from the hormones and I wish he just understood that it’s really his own anxieties that are making him act this way and that out of my natural reaction I become defensive and I have noticed that not getting defensive is the best but sometimes I struggle to have the patience to remind myself to cool down before I get all worked up myself..

[@Areyoukiddingme64]

This happened to me. Constant accusations of things I wasn't doing AT ALL! I tried so hard to reassure him but nothing helped. He would call or text non stop ALL DAY LONG to keep tabs on me, on my way to work, at work, at home, and even in the middle of the night to check if there was somebody else in bed with me!! I asked him to get help but he refused. He didn't think he was the problem, he thought the problem was me. I finally said enough is enough and ended it. If the person refuses to acknowledge that they have a problem then there's nothing else you can do.

[@briana14333]

This is SO helpful. I find myself taking notes from your videos; they are very empowering and so helpful! Thank you

[@state924]

4:09 - That’s a great response, thank you! ❤️

[@MeHoWeK85]

Wish I seen this before. Maybe my relationship wouldn't fall apart :(

[@bluwater1496]

Same here

[@alrasheedsalih8746]

still got the digits , call back

[@donavincrypto7332]

This has been me and I hated it because i began to see how much i was hurting my partner. Went to therapy because i wanted to try my best to do right for me and her. Only for her to do things that would make me question things again. There’s insecurity and there’s reasonable suspicion or concerns. If you’re the type to be open and transparent, and the other person is opposite you both have no business with each other. I learned i should not accuse but i also learned to walk away if transparency is not there.

[@introspectiveengineer392]

Thank you for this. Really clears up things I’ve been thinking and worrying about

[@shxpsixcreative4318]

I ruined my relationship being insecure... I lost my partner, wife, and best friend. I was so stupid. And I regret my actions so much.

[@trudyannbrooks470]

When my husband gets insecure I have to constantly reminding him of how far we coming from and what we've been through to come this far to cheat on you.. I've never been happy not one time in my marriage..

[@Little_Vampiregirl]

Hmm, then leave?

[@theodorusrexicon5760]

My ex wife accused me of an affair with her best friend based on a psychic reading. Wow.

[@lucyjones955]

This is wonderful! Thanks Susan!!

[@SusanWinter]

thank you Lucy.

[@YasminliketheBratz]

You described my boyfriend so accurately and omg I've tried to explain and we've have the loyalty talk almost every single day I'm so tired of it he can't see to understand that he is ruining our relationship I feel so trapped, I've lost my patience already he truly needs help

[@rishi.agarwal8]

What did he do then? Did he change? I'm the insecure one, need solutions

[@RL-ci8dt]

I wish I saw your video last year. It is unbelievable at how some individuals can project their issues on others. I agree counseling can do wonders for people who demonstrate these behaviours

[@corycarreira9524]

I don't know how long I can keep giving my partner all of her emotional and sexual needs. I have to ask for permission to do pretty much everything.. or if I want to do something that I enjoy doing.. then it turns into a fight.

[@chadautismo1751]

i’ve been dealing with it for almost 10 years and it doesn’t get any better

[@notapplicable3827]

Omg I’m so sad I’ve literally said those exact things “you’re making me crazy” “why are you jealous of imaginary ghosts” “you’re creating drama out literally nothing” and I’ve told him he needs therapy

[@notapplicable3827]

And also feeling anxious because of him

[@kritikasingh7992]

Where are you with him right now?

[@lauracat79]

How can I fix things on my end as the insecure one? He's always tried to help me feel more secure but I can't put that on him. I do want to go see a therapist so that I can handle my own insecurities.

[@thinguyen4345]

You been very helpful thank you very much but I’m already over my partner.... I don’t want anything to do with her anymore.... she drove me to depression and drove me crazy.... I’m really all mess up now and just want to be single

[@kritikasingh7992]

Can you connect with me please?

[@taylorellis4336]

I’m the insecure one I’m working on doing better it’s so hard

[@brightpage1020]

If they were concerned, they’d feel relieved to get a hold of you, not angry, grateful that you’re ok. It would be easy at that point to move on, but incongruent anger could be very telling.

[@Lisa-ih7fk]

My boyfriend doesn't even admit they are accusations

[@hildagbormittah2104]

Same here ,always accuse me with no prove ,and it really hurt

[@jazzydesteny2261]

Thank you

[@mrniceguy9945]

Powerful video still!

[@astasna]

Thank you so much, you are so intelligent and attune to relationships. I will do EXACTLY what you have just said.

[@pauladsilva9374]

My ex partner... had a lot of squirlly behaviors... going to other rooms to check his phone.... was very problematic... I tried to voice my opinion.... we didn't live together... he had 20 hrs a day to check his phone... I was asking for consideration.... he was unable to communicate without yelling.... I tried different ways to get him to stop his squirlly behaviors... they just got worse...... it was so sad... he would say he loved me ... but ... I don't even think I should be here talking about him...... I'm trying to make sense out of nonsense.... he was abusive.. and I'm here trying to make this all sound like a normal relationship problem... it wasn't.... I'm trying to make it sound like sense in my mind... it's not 😢😢😢

[@jennc1585]

What if you have lied to them before and they blame it on the trust being broken but you noticed these things for a while?

[@houdachabih7390]

My boyfriend is the most insecure and jealous man in the world but I have been swallowed into his world and played by his rules for long time!! Do you think I can regain control over my life again? I mean when I confront him about anything I don’t like he accuses me of changing !!

[@englishexperts1974]

That's your choice don't complain

[@3oxisprimus848]

Excellent Advice Susan! Thank You

[@eliseoborrerobass]

Thanks for your video! What can you do when your partner is waking you up in the middle of the knight saying that you mentioned another woman's name while sleeping? Then she makes up a false story and believes it. I love her; however, I am close to the point of leaving her for ever. I can't sleep and every day we have an argument that raises my blood pressure because of irrational jealousy.

[@grobiemaluleke8724]

It is so hard to be with someone who is insecure, i was recently lashed out by my women for a missed call from a random number, i refuse to call that number as she suggested, within a short space of time she became violent and smash my phone on the wall. In shock , i kept quiet and left her place.. , I am emotionally drained and feel violated by her actions. After three days she is calling me, and acting normal but , i just don't feel like continuing with her, as she expecting me to come and apologies .

[@Mortikar]

RUN BROTHER!

[@rahkeembattiste8752]

Leave over time it get worse

[@mariamistretta3860]

This educational. Omg keep taps, I always have defense myself on this I didn't do. So say stop. It's like the guy wants to stress me. No it's not my resonabily to heal the guy. It's not my stuff it's his stuff. .Be patient and I'm not going though this shit again. Hopefully he work on himself because I'm not going to go through this shit again.

[@oscardeckard9886]

Usually a jealous and insecure partner accuses you of his/her behaviour with phrases like: "You said last week your friend Jack is handsome/your friend Lisa is pretty"...etc. What can you dou?

[@arborealshrew]

THANK YOU! Such helpful advice!

[@SusanWinter]

You are so welcome!

[@Aj_harner]

Spot on, thank you!

[@blueberrycornbread]

It is a roller coaster too.

[@markhorne6020]

This helped so much!

[@Lore-wv5mt]

I'm that type of partner right now my reason is because the trust has been broken ppl is hard and super tuff especially when u been with them so long and love them so much. I came to a decision to let him go I'm not making happy. I'm not in peace with the trust . Everything else is so prefect but the trust isnt 😔😪. It hurts but I feel like it will hurt less if I let go hopefully I made the right choice. He lies to not have me thinking bad of him. He thinks he doing a good thing when hes just making things worst feeding gas to my fire..

[@Crawfordsfive]

Wow.. I HAVE “narrowed my life”. Been married 10 years now 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@jabari877]

Sounds like my wife she’s moved out divorce is next I can’t stand it anymore

[@lukeo4405]

So did u give her the boot 🥾?

[@TheFloridaTraveler]

This is totally my situation, and all the comments match completely. My frustration is that she goes in-and-out of these things within one day or as little as 1 hour. So it's almost like she's trying, or what is happening? Just as much as it looks really bad, it also looks just as much as like it's really good. So far, it's hard to find anyone with a comment that says everything worked out well, eventually. Is it all false hope?

[@ChrisLevelsUp]

Thank you! I love this so much!

[@kelloggscuts1820]

Such a helpful video, thank you Susan. 🙏🏻 ❤️

[@GilliMarieMoody]

I'll try this w my mom. I don't know if the same "insecurity" term applies. I just feel a general lack of faith.

[@SusanWinter]

This works in general, and beyond a romantic partner. I wish you well.

[@mr.giraffe7076]

I'm going through this with a girl who really likes me. She called me and then proceeds to ask probing questions about how much I like her. Then gives me a silent cowboy standoff waiting for me to correct all her insecurities. It gives me so much anxiety because I do like her, but this is too intense for me and I don't think I will be able to make her stop this behavior. I'll probably have to find someone new. I feel upset with myself because I should have known that she was too insecure, but I guess I was just excited to have someone who showed a lot of interest. :/

[@suzeb7005]

I can be Insecure too when I'm triggered, certain things said to upset me. Definitely think i need counselling to sort through these issues.

[@danaschield5090]

I've tried for years at times in securing my relationships. Only for it to end up destroying the relationship and or being abandoned for security with someone else.

[@cynthiasynosch1756]

Im going crazy.wisu I wouldn't have ever texted them in the beginning the womt stop and gets angry when I turn of my location onmy phone. I cant understand use is at work and on phone with me .picks me up.and gets angry if I don't give him attention. Don't read ..listen to music its all about him..im going nuts

[@courtneygrant701]

Right exactly what I’m dealing with 😒🤲🏾🙏

[@Ohkeh640]

I want to be as calm as you. What do you take? :) great video I do not date insecure men with trust issues. I can’t do that.

[@lorihill5655]

Ty

[@kotawhite]

Omg this is so accurate

[@jweber168]

This is my life.

[@robinegraham]

this was great, thanks!

[@SharolGosuk-sj5cx]

Um going through the same thing. Over and over. We're good and then, 💥 im doing something wrong.

[@animalsworld615]

Such a wise words..thank you so much..you just described my life!.

[@mirian593]

Loved it! Thank you so much 😘

[@galenodel3283]

Damn, I realized I myself am an insecure partner, so I search for help, and the I see this video. Now I know how my partner feels...although I tried to control myself all the time, I really do, but he could sense it when I’m not happy. Now I’m thinking about ending the relationship. I love him, but I am not a good partner.

[@olympiaelda1121]

what did you do?

[@stassisspace6632]

Thankyou for this ❤️❤️❤️