Issa's Detransitioning- 4 1/2 Month Update!

I am currently 4 1/2 months off of Testosterone.
I was on Testosterone from May 2015 - January 2021.
Here is my update on how I'm feeling and some questions addressed about my body and how I view myself at the moment. This could all change in the future, but I am trying to express my feelings as best as I can.
This is my journey, it should not be compared or used to generalize such a complex experience.
Follow me on:
Tiktok @aliaxismail
Insta @aliaxismail
My transition was documented at AYearInTransition.com.

[@katherinelauer4064]

Thank you for telling your story. It’s going to help a lot of people. I was on testosterone for 4.5 years and detransitioned. now I am married with two step sons and 12 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I am very happy now

[@leahhart3585]

So happy to hear you are doing good.

[@katerineella274]

So wanting to be a man was just a phase? I'm not trolling, just trying to understand. This is confusing for people who've not had these issues. You've had your breasts amputated?

[@nicolai6161]

Great story katherine

[@janinedaniell1967]

She is gonna help sweet fuck all, cos she still won't admit she was wrong!!!!

[@carriesing]

Congratulations! Life changes us if we are willing to grow.

[@pearlpearl3806]

We didn’t make up male/female we made up a lot of gender stereotypes. I’m female and don’t do my eyebrows, nails, don’t wear wigs (over my afro hair), get some chin and chest hairs, don’t shave my legs but I feel feminine af because that’s what I am. 😂 Gender stereotypes are stupid, ppl should just accept themselves for who they are

[@debbie991]

Amen my friend xo

[@melissaf5262]

Not only this, but gender stereotypes are so personal to given communities, places and time! It's hard because communities with firm identities will do a lot to reenforce and more firmly define their identitiy. There can be a lot of pressure to conform to the community at times vs. finding acceptance for variations and deviations. With something as personal as this, I can see it could be really hard to turn away from that community and support and jumping fully into yourself.

[@jessicalubien5424]

So true! I don't shave my pits all winter. I do in the summer only because it is so outrageous to so many if I don't. My oldest son would literally have a heart attack. Lol!

[@Bakerygo]

I think that if people were allowed to wear whatever they want and do whatever they want, we would have much less transgender people going through heavy and risky permanent alterations. Surgeries and hormones are no joke. They can be very dangerous and taxing on someone's health. If they want the hormones that's fine, but they should not feel that they must have certain physical features in order to qualify as a man or a woman.

[@andreaberryman5354]

I HATE being in a society that thinks I'm disgusting unless I shave 3/4 ths my body. So now that I'm 44 I don't. Unless I wear shorts-I MIGHT. Haha!

[@FreedomFox1]

Hormones are powerful and potentially therapeutic, even for people who don’t want to change their gender. I lived as a guy with low testosterone until I got it treated at 35. It caused me anxiety, depression, low muscle mass, osteoporosis and even a mild heart condition (which resolved entirely after I started testosterone injections). Testosterone therapy even helped my fibromyalgia. A woman friend of mine takes low dose testosterone, experiencing very much the same benefits. She doesn’t experience any virilization… if anything, she looks even more feminine.

[@katietye3673]

My mom had to take low dose testosterone due to a hormone imbalance that came with tumors in her uterus. It helped her out a lot and balanced everything back out. She didn’t change any in appearance or anything. Ps I’m glad you’re doing great now! ❤️

[@Bakerygo]

I'm on mild testosterone blockers (woman) in order to treat alopecia.

[@salvolondon]

@@Bakerygo sometimes it’s used To treat acne in women

[@stevejackson9090]

@@Bakerygo I'm a man with very high testosterone and it's definitely a cause of hair loss in males and females. In males it can also cause aggressiveness...in my case being short tempered...which I hate. I don't try to fight anyone, but I find that I have short patience with things and people and have to walk away...it's a horrible feeling..and I hate the way it makes me appear to people.

[@BigMamou367]

My Brother in low had really low testerone. After he got it all straightened out he felt like a new person. I didn't know having it low causes osteoporsis. Something I got at a young age. I'm glad it helped your fibro. I think getting old help with that lol.

[@NJ-rm5vs]

I’m Middle Eastern and detrans too, really cool to see someone of similar background going thru the same thing x

[@aliaxismail]

that’s amazing!

[@nicolai6161]

I picked that up too .. I wonder if there’s a connection culturally to transitioning ..

[@andreaberryman5354]

Congrats! Yaaaay!🤗💗

[@4y4z84]

i'm middle eastern and detrans too omg

[@NJ-rm5vs]

@@4y4z84 woah nice ! we have a whole squad ahaha

[@tommyvohs8815]

Sounds like quite a journey and I’m glad that you’re feeling more comfortable. It’s quite freeing to be yourself for your own reasons and rules. I’m 56 and butch. It wasn’t easy to live my life but I did it no matter what others said or did. Living your authentic self is rewarding on so many levels. Good luck!

[@Ethentent]

I love how you got right into it and were so open and honest about your experience

[@michaelaf8698]

Your hair looks great. I appreciate that you aren’t expressing a broad and overarching general opinion about other peoples’ transitions. You’re very real. Thank you for your vulnerability

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you so much! Yeah, everyone human is so different and unique. Exploring who you are in any way is a beautiful thing!

[@haleymarie910]

Thank you for your story! as a non-binary identifying person, I have struggled with understanding the difference between how im 'expected' to look/act vs how i'm comfortable. I have to ask myself to explain why something makes me uncomfortable all the time to make sure my intentions are coming from my own self and not what others expect of me or a fear that people wont understand me. I also would love to hear more about how you feel about your chest as time goes. I have my own struggles with mine and would love to hear from someone who enjoys feminine presentation who has gone through top surgery. Thank you for being so open! Can't wait to hear more about your journey!

[@aliaxismail]

Yes practicing asking those questions is super important. We are constantly influenced by what’s around us so checking in is a must! Glad you feel comfortable in yourself ❤️

[@uwpride]

This is all so fascinating to me. Thank you for being open and sharing. Good luck on the rest of your journey ❤️

[@lifeandhomewithmeredith9050]

I think anyone who makes a video on detrans is a hero. To be open enough and brave enough so that others can be helped by this. Much Love

[@alexbruce7984]

As someone who struggles with gender dysphoria myself I feel trying to fit labels exactly can be way more damaging for some. Be true to yourself it's your body and your life. Do what makes you feel comfortable living in your own skin. If a certain label helps you and it helps you then that's awesome. If fitting a label gives you anxiety and causes extra stress dont worry about fitting labels. Be true to your inner true self. Do whatever you need to to feel at home in your own skin. If we cant feel comfortable with who we are and how we look how can we expect others to be comfortable with who we are. Dont let others dictate what is "right" for you be true to yourself.

[@paf2587]

The body is a wonderfully resilient thing. I love that the human body is intelligent.

[@_Sublime_]

There are a lots of cis ladies with deep voices. They are still women. There are a lots of breast cancer survivors who have had total breast removal and they are still women. There are lots of tomboy women who do not conform to stereotypical women norms and are still women. Embrace your whole self as God created you, all the things that make you YOU are beautiful and very much part of being a woman. You don't have remove your masculine traits to be fully a woman. Embrace all the things that make you a beautiful woman inside and out. Women come in all shapes and sizes, all kinds of different choices, and can be all those things without having to second guess their womanhood. You are you, beautiful in all the the things that make you YOU.

[@emmahilditch6708]

It's amazing how hormones can completely alter the way you look and feel. I'm glad you feel happy and content the way you are currently. Also I really love your hair it's beautiful 🥰

[@jrrose6689]

"I feel like a soul in a body", I realate to that so much. I don't really feel like I connect with the label man, woman, non-binary or any other label for that matter. I'm just kind of here. It's such an odd feeling to describe

[@aliaxismail]

yes! it is kinda hard to explain and it makes life feel a little different as well.

[@grandmastersreaction1267]

It’s called alienation.

[@marcyssnow4018]

@@grandmastersreaction1267 it's rather kind of dissociation

[@themudpit621]

I thought that's how everyone felt, really. It isn't?

[@bread2246]

It’s is most people just feel not like a gender just a person. I have asked and talked to many cis people and most of them agree with that statement.

[@KR-xo8yd]

thank you, thank you for sharing this. everything you say has been something i’ve been thinking for so long. ever since i’ve had to label myself for society, i’ve been living with constant anxiety and depression. specially because these might be topics that could offend, or challenge other people that do feel more safe and comfortable in those labels, which i completely completely understand. two of my closest friends are nb and trans. i know that i have to identify myself as cis, to raise more awareness to the challenges that trans people go through. there have been several times where i’ve tried to explain to them about how i feel about myself. about how society has decided to see me and regard me, and based on my upbringing (i had always been more inclined to ‘masculine’ things as i was growing up, have struggled with gender dysphoria my whole life, and i know that fit into the nonbinary umbrella) but that also doesn’t feel right for me either. because i am just me, but because i am female assigned at birth and my gender identity (to me) matches my sex assigned at birth, i am ‘cis’ and that’s how i should identify myself as and that’s how others in queer spaces will perceive me. and that just feels off to me as well. it feels off when i state my pronouns because i know i am going to be put into that label, but i also don’t want to use the nonbinary term, because i am just me who likes certain things and dress in a way that is more masculine presenting, because i simply have always been more comfortable like that. of course i would never impose how i feel to anyone who feels different, and i hope this doesn’t come like that at all. but i am just such an insecure, anxiety filled person that i avoid talking about how i am feeling because i fear i will trigger someone or invalidate someone and thats the least i want. i am just so so thankful that i found your video, because i feel so understood by you. and it brings me so much comfort. a soul in a body. i know i need walk the path of self acceptance because i cannot change society and thats okay because in the end we, ourselves, are what matter, and that i need to raise awareness and an ally the best i can. sometimes its just a bit hard. once again thank you for this video, you are beautiful.

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you for such a thoughtful message! I’m glad my video gave you some comfort. It gets easier when you just accept everything for what it is and just remember how you feel and that’s the only thing that’s important. If you know who you are it doesn’t matter what people think. I’m glad you’re exploring different ideas of what it means to be you! Good luck ❤️

[@roadkillfairy4789]

this is so beautiful

[@christmadoyan94]

Issa, you look so beautiful! Praying for you on this hard journey

[@rozchristopherson648]

You have movie star looks and a lot of courage. Blessing to you.

[@jadeecarroll]

Living your life peacefully is the best thing you can do 💕❤️ proud of you babe 🙏🏼💋

[@themudpit621]

It's perplexing to someone like me from the eighties, where we had punk and androgyny was the norm and feminism really mattered, that people growing up now think they need to conform to gender norms. Where did all the progress go?

[@bread2246]

Maybe there wasn’t nearly as progress as you thirst there was . Maybe it was only like there within your environment.

[@Eggscargot]

Trans people broadly actually aren’t conforming to gender norms, and that’s certainly not the motivation for the majority of transitioners. Anecdotally, I see proportionately many more gender non-conforming trans people than cis people.

[@valentinafangirling]

@@Eggscargot agree. The idea that gender is a spectrum and people don’t have to settle for it is a lot more of a mainstream idea than it was before. Detransitioning happens, but it doesn’t mean that’s a reason to invalidate does who do transition. Is not less progress.

[@patriciaoudart1508]

conforms to sexuation identity reality mostly

[@patriciaoudart1508]

as 99% of people are normal, norms are made of this.

[@valdez3245]

You’re a very beautiful woman. That’s all I have to say, and I wish you well. I wish you Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken.

[@AllieHarold]

Everything you said in this was so well said. I feel like I gained such a new perspective on this topic as a whole

[@sallyannbarrington1392]

I happened to across your video, coming from a totally heterosexual happy female with a life long male partner - I found your video so beautiful and honestly refreshing. I pray you continue to feel so positive and joyful x

[@divestedkonservativekarame4269]

hey wanted to drop in and tell you you look stunning amazing your transformation was quick good for you girl! You're drop dead gorgeous!

[@teijaflink2226]

I'm shocked att the chance in only 2-3 months, she looks amazing (looked amazing before too just different), so happy for her whatever her path in life will be.

[@arilie777]

wow you are literally so gorgeous, I wish you all the best in the world🤍🤍

[@aliaxismail]

that’s so sweet to say thank you 😊

[@DieYuppiieSkum]

While we can always follow other detransitioners doing their updates of their status, most of us can be patient with you releasing another video in 3 or 4 months. Your work's important, as well as doing other videos on your other social media sites. Still, you're doing a great job updating your status on your detransition journey. 😉👍🏿

[@speechy_keen4878]

Just looked back on your previous videos and wow, the change has happened quick! Blessings to you on your journey!

[@grace83996]

You're an incredible human and I so appreciated this conversation. I totally relate to so much of this Thankyou thankyou and I'm here cheering you on on this journey!!! X

[@violetstameski664]

All I can say is OMG and WOW! You are BEAUTIFUL!

[@kathleencollier5277]

Off the top of my head…. You’re incredibly gorgeous! Just be the you you are…. Be kind, be open, be just and accept that it’s ok to accept that you’re beautiful. Good genes. Ya da! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍

[@erinerinerinOOO]

Thank you for putting your story out there! It’s so important that we hear everyone’s experiences! Your courage is admirable, and you will find inner peace and self love, just keep listening to yourself.

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you!!

[@choschiba]

You look really great. I think you can live and feel both feminine and masculine without deciding to strictly follow the one or other path. There are many aspects in life where you might want to act and feel more feminine and in some more masculine. Thank you so much for documenting your journey. It will help a lot of people.

[@jensnow3363]

I'm so happy for you. Your video came up and I saw I was subscribed to your channel, although I had no idea who you were, I had to look back at your earlier videos to find out and couldn't believe that it is you. You're looking so healthy and like a totally different person.

[@amelialaboda]

thank you so much for sharing this!! i really appreciate how thoughtful and well-spoken you are about your journey, and i'm wishing you all the best

[@KussDamato]

I wish you peace with whatever road you go down!

[@deezee2965]

"Labels" are the end of many possibilities to debate. Whether we like them or not it's going to put people in a certain mindset the instant they ear it. Thanks for sharing your experience. It sure can help young people wondering about themselves in these axious times.

[@bloodrushblush]

Hits so close to home, exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much for your videos. They're so important.

[@mariahjane7969]

You are beautiful don't change your body anymore. You are perfect as you are. Life is an experience that's all. As I've got older what I've learned is being myself is beautiful no matter what anybody else thinks. Nobody has to live my life but me so I live the way that makes my soul happy and content.

[@heyborttheeditor1608]

This is a pretty incredible life experience you’ve had. I would love to hear about how all these difference experiences compared!

[@aliaxismail]

Thanks! In what ways specifically would you like me to talk about them?

[@jenmostoller278]

I wish you happiness and comfort on your journey to feeling like yourself! I feel like your expression is beautiful and something tells me that everything will fall into place for you in a peace filled way!💕

[@livics610]

Love your openness! All the best in what you choose! ❤️ Totally agree with words that we "should" subscribe to. Like it should be the other way around: we invented the alphabet and words for understanding reality around, but a word is a convention and its definition can be extended; or even more words to be updated or not even needing explination. For me it's not confusion, but liberating and beautiful, thanks for this! Rooting for doing whatever you want, Issa! ❤️

[@JayThe0]

I’m 1/2 middle eastern, 1/2 Greek. I stopped hormones 6 months ago mostly due to jail and my personality changed. but prefer to stay identifying as male and still have dysphoria (still trans) but yeah the hips come back after 4-5 months and my period came back the first month personally. That part sucks- but im still able to pass even with long hair and my skin looks better too. Glad you’re doing well you look great and your voice suits your personality

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you for sharing that! Redefine your body for yourself! You’re male if that’s how you feel. We don’t all have to look like the stereotypical and unrealistic standard of what it means to be a “woman” or “man”. We’re complex humans and I hope you feel comfortable in your body however!

[@kathleentaylor8840]

Just Troilus Just Troilus you look good with Polyxena Issa Ismail.

[@JayThe0]

@@aliaxismail ******TW: PERIOD MENTION**** thank you very much for that. I definitely do for sure feel confident and less dysphoric these days. Tbh I dislike periods but I’m getting through them and Idk if you can relate but it’s weaker now anyway?

[@keishakiger8541]

Wow I want a lot from this! About excepting yourself and you in the world as a place to show up in and just experience life and not put labels on yourself and you are very well spoken and explain things very well

[@silkworm9691]

I take estrogen but wear pretty masc clothing. Having a male body really upset me. I tried to make peace with it and I couldn’t and that’s why I chose to Transition with hormones. Some people can transition without hormones which is cool too but I couldn’t and I believe my decision came from my heart and it gives me real joy. I tried detrantioning and it was the worst mistake of my life.

[@JuleeFreshh]

This video has been so informative for me. Very much appreciate sharing yourself and journey to the world. 💛

[@lisaanderson135]

I admire you for putting your journey out there! You are also extremely brave as well! I am sure there have been some nasty remarks, but you seem to be unfazed by it. I am sure that you have helped a lot of people going through the same process! Labels shouldn’t be what defines us as human beings. I think the world is becoming more accepting and tolerant, but we have a long way to go. My step daughter who is 16 has a couple friends who are in the process of transitioning. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be. My husband and I are both in our early 40’s and have never really thought about the topic in a negative way. We believe everyone should be happy, especially in their own body! I don’t understand people who judge! I unfortunately had a friend who committed suicide because nobody was supportive or treated her like a *freak (not my word). I want you to know that I, and many other people, are here for support 😊

[@alheno5423]

Omg there was an ad literally every 1-2 minutes! Is KZbin trying to Sabotage you?! Also, I am so glad you have gotten to this place beyond “identity”… it’s just another box

[@elizabethdavidson4188]

You are really pretty and my aunt has a voice that is a little masculine. Your woman voice is definitely there too. I’m a little jelly of your hair lol. I have iron deficiency pretty bad so my hair falls out to much to get extensions. Just don’t forget you are a beautiful person inside and out. We always have a tug or war with ourselves with what we want cuz it always changes lol

[@josiefrancis8197]

Good luck girl welcome back to your self.

[@BiancaM25]

Thanks for sharing your story, is helping others to know that detransition is a option too and is ok. Wish you the best :-)

[@ayl6999]

everything abt u is beautiful issa!! ty for sharing yr journey, as a nby person i love watching yr vids :^) wishing u the best!! ♥️

[@aliaxismail]

thank you so much for the support ❤️

[@danielsharpe7138]

thank you for your story, i can relate. love your feelings on gender, good luck

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you!

[@beccajoy5445]

My voice is just as deep as yours from smoking for years. You’re beautiful!

[@selahr.]

I wish people could remember that “male” or “female” are just descriptors that are someone else’s attempt to try to describe you before they’ve gotten to know you. The same way tall/short, thin/overweight, White/Black, Gay/Straight, rich/poor, logical/emotional, nerdy/jock/goth/etc., are just more small facets of who we appear to be to people who don’t really know us or who may not really need to know us on a more intimate/interpersonal way. These things are not the biggest or the most important words that describe us. Descriptors are not identities. Everyone is unique and constantly in flux in many ways based on our genes, experiences, beliefs, fears, goals/priorities, the current environment, our physiological state (stress/health/hormones), and the people we’re with in that environment/situation. Just do what feels right and comfortable for you and the people around you will begin to know who you are, not what you appear to be.

[@aliaxismail]

This was very well said and I resonate with it a lot! Thank you for sharing that.

[@girlboigirl8220]

Hey 😊 I'm a half Middle Eastern ftmtf detrans as well. I was having laser hair removal before Covid, then it closed and I was really sad about it, so my mum got me this home IPL kit called Braun silk expert pro and it literally worked better than the professional, I was so shocked. I would 100% recommend it to anyone who can use it (I think it can't be used by certain skin and hair types). It's saving a lot of money. There are also really good places on Groupon if you prefer professional. My professional laser was only £80 for 6 sessions (full face and neck) because of Groupon. It's super good for laser for some reason. I look for a place with an up to date machine, like one of the newer models. You're looking amazing btw, I hope you're detransition goes well :)

[@aliaxismail]

That’s amazing! Thank you for sharing! I feel really good about my specialist and the sessions are going super well. Thank you for the support ❤️

[@user-xm1od9nb1m]

Thanks for sharing. As a feminist cis female that have always questioned gender rolls and been very secure with my sex and gender I think it’s very interesting to hear people who are trans/had a ”trans experience” speaking on these topics

[@thechurneys]

You’re a lovely young women - bless you as you walk through this. ❤️

[@IslandMarigold]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and experience. I hope only the best for you and your future.

[@Shawn-tc9iv]

Thank you for sharing! You speak alot of truth. I'm also a detransitioner and I can relate 😊

[@pascalecat]

Thank you for sharing your journey, you are so valid! I’ve never taken T, but I have also been getting laser on my face due to a hormone imbalance; you are very pretty regardless! 💖

[@pascalecat]

Also, you may be able to do a fat transfer to your chest if you want a more “feminine” chest, rather than implants? As someone who has also had a breast reduction (not total removal), I definitely see where you’re coming from when you say you are comfortable with a smaller chest. You 👏 are 👏 valid 👏 no 👏 matter 👏 what 👏

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you! I have thought about that too, I just don’t know just yet. I kind of just want to live in this body for a while with making smaller moves.

[@okitsadam]

I think this is the video everyone needs too see. Especially in 2021.

[@okitsadam]

Why do I just completely get you! I also under stand playing the game. Forcing stuff down peoples throats is horrible. Don’t be those people.

[@sukindiamuzik]

issa! yes 100% iso agree with everything youve said. these days i just feel human. like an earthling no more no less and it feels great!

[@aviwike5242]

You look great 😍 I found you on tiktok & I just love you lol. You’re so brave & inspiring ❤️

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you so much!!

[@mememo3764]

Wow you look so great. Accepting yourself is life changing.

[@JassiJo]

I love this conversation you are having. I agree we are humans that don't seem to value that simple concept in itself. Acceptance for who we are doesn't come from anyone outside valuing our existence but from within. "Acceptance is the key to understanding," A.A. How we judge others is how we are judging and the standards we hold ourselves first.

[@annak4891]

You look amazing! 5 min later I saw Your previous video and I can't believe that You changed so much. I hope You are ok and continue to feel good about yourself. In Poland we started to promote solutions such as transition to gender dysphoria and I'm so upset that no one is trying to show that sometime it is not a good idea. Unfortunately our government is trying to hide the problem, there is no debate. Leftist leaders are spreading only good info about transitions, the other side on the other hand is not even trying to explain what consequences this decision could have. Thank You for sharing your story.

[@tptrash5101]

I relate to the “I feel like a soul in a body”, but I’ve never felt like I shouldn’t be trans. Before I hit puberty I always though my body would look like a males, which unfortunately it didn’t since I’m AFAB. So once I hit puberty, I had the realization I hated my body even more. I always thought I would have a male physique, and then my body went in the opposite direction. I was CURSED with an enormous chest in 5th grade, as well as my 🩸, and everyone around me “family” seemed so excited- even JEALOUS at the size of them; and I never understood it because I hated them. I never knew what trans was until about 7-8th grade, so I tried to deal with it and oversexualize myself, because I thought “even if I hate my body, guys would like it.” I seemed male validation for the longest time until I found out what trans was, and all the dots connected. I usually never think I would detranstion, especially since I’m still trying to get on hormones and get top surgery- but family members have always been the ones that make me second guess myself “it’s a phase” “what if you regret it” etc. and it felt like they were just trying to scare me into being what they wanted. And then about 3-4 years after I came out I realized I didn’t have to live in toxic masculinity to be a guy. I realized there are plenty of guys that paint their nails or some that even go and get acrylics. I realized gender norms are a construct and that I can be both masculine and feminine when I want- and still be a guy. I can just be ME- and for me that is having a flat chest and facial hair and a lower voice. I also realized after about a year of looking into bottom surgery that I didn’t want it, the bottom growth from T is all I want. I realized I’m not less of a guy just because I don’t have a d*ck, and that I’m satisfied with how I currently have s3x. Bottom line: I don’t have to only be masculine to be a guy, I don’t have to have bottom surgery and I don’t want it, top surgery and hormones would make me most comfortable with myself, and that I’ll never let anyone try to scare me into their idea of who I am. My goal has never been to be seen as a cis male, I’m fine leaving people guessing because I’m comfortable in my identity. I feel like a lot of trans people get caught up in thinking they have to fully transition; bottom/top surgery, hormones, all of it- just to please others when they may not want bottom surgery or top surgery or hormones. They feel like they have to be “as close as possible to CIS, to be accepted” and that’s just not true, especially not for me.

[@MeddyKated]

thank you for sharing, i relate to your story very much

[@MILLIPEDE_JESUS]

I don't know if I'd be considered a detransitioner. I stopped testosterone because of medical reasons. I already got all the changes I wanted, plus I have a disorder that already disposes me to an increase in testosterone. I used to identify as a trans man but now I just... I don't know. I don't see myself as any gender. I feel as if it's not important to me. I feel above gender.

[@lycagos1278]

this is the healthy, just be yourself

[@katietye3673]

Gender schmender, be yourself ❤️ I support you.

[@evviolet8370]

That's the right thing fam , that's how we all should feel , we are MORE than just genders , gender shouldn't be obsessed with , u are just a person , the two gender is there to just make it simple for u to describe ur anatomy and to fill the goddamn forms , well just for the record and medical sake , thats pretty much bout it

[@jayebullock8002]

You have transcended gender, my friend! Congrats on ascending beyond the bullshit!

[@levoefje]

Oh my goodness, I relate *so* much to you! You look fantastic and you really radiate this comforting feeling; it's beautiful to see. You're a wonderful human! I myself am going through some kind of detransition (I'm unsure how to call it? I'm not becoming a woman again so idk), and I feel so grateful I've been able to experience life as a "male, like you described. I really now feel more in-between or genderfluid; gender isn't so important to me anymore. I got a hysto + ovarectomy, so I have to go on synthetic estrogen unfortunately. I'm really excited to look like how I used to again, though now with some facial hair (which in boy-mode as I'd like to call it is just enough to pass!) Also, happy to never have periods again :D This video resonated so much with me. Thank you so much.

[@LW-hq8gk]

Thank you for sharing your story with such courage. 💕. One thing people don’t ever talk about is the cost of transitioning and/or detransitioning. Can you comment on that?

[@riverwood5415]

Thank you so much Issa for sharing. I'm really happy for you. You are a wonderful and gorgeous human

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you so much for the kind comment and support ❤️

[@onajourneylife2242]

Praying for you. This was a very thoughtful video!

[@ken.dietitian]

So have so much insight throughout this process. Love that you have so many positive takeaways in your journey. :)

[@christinamock7264]

Holy moly I watched the first video and you have changed so much.

[@aliaxismail]

Being off hormones for longer and extensions, biotin, vitamins and laser hair removal have been helping! also getting better with makeup haha

[@coyotej4895]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Bless and be well and know that your not alone. There are thousands of us learning to love our selves despite a social disorder that is trying to make ever one hate the opposite sex. They are the really weird ones now How messed up is that.

[@Catlily5]

Not that simple.

[@lightgiver7311]

I am a woman that was always small chested. If you choose down the road, the smallest is best. I love that I can wear tight shirts etc. that large breasted cannot. I can wear tailored blazers (which I wear with jeans) tight jackets, T-Shirts.

[@leylazamora175]

Self Love

[@valentinafangirling]

Its frustrating how vulnerable and honest this person is being sharing her story for those to see, and others to disrespect her message in the comments. She is constantly mentioning on her tiktok and vids that she does not regret her journey nor does she want her story used to invalidate others. Gender is a spectrum, a social construct, and complicated. Everyone has different journeys. And is so disrespectful for some people to come in this video, ignore her entire journey and message, and simply used her detransitioning as an argument to invalidate other transgender people for transitioning. The point is that gender is made up and a spectrum, what is it to you (those who are commenting in order to invalidate trans people OR those detransitioning), why does anyone care so much about what others identify as? Their journey? Like people’s personal journey aren’t to invalidate others. People just wanna live their truth. So just continue to be YOU and respect others’ identities whether that changes with time or not.

[@aliaxismail]

Very thought out message. Thank you so much for your support ❤️

[@Joliebebe2001]

Society is not our ennemi. We don't have to rebel against all what it says. It s a society need to be organized and try to label things and people. As everything human does, it's not perfect. But we should know each other and not be disturbed by all these boxes that are just words. I hope you find happiness in this imperfect world or society. 🙏🏽

[@SkinninMacKinnon]

You're such an excellent speaker. Thanks for sharing your story :)

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you! ❤️

[@amberpixie8550]

Your gorgeous 😍 I did wonder myself is transitioning a trauma responses from bad experiences as a child from the opposite gender it was a thorey of mine x

[@azulg06]

I love the conversation! I have accepted being called she/he because my kid hasn't figured out pronouns yet.

[@Alexis73]

I love your story and the way you share with us..it help me aloottttt ❤️🙏

[@darkdaystarot]

I truly believe that gender is fluid in nature. No matter your body your gender(s) is something else that, if allowed, can change and evolve at any speed. The soul loves to play with gender(s) which is why we probably aren’t “always a man/woman” in past lives. And that’s also why we can be any gender(s) at any point in any lifetime.

[@songbirdie6746]

I definitely hear a bit of a difference in your voice. I listened to your first two videos and went straight into this one, so it does have a lighter sound than in those two videos.

[@taylorfrink1182]

the "two groups" makes sense though, there's female and male sex, which are important to define for many reasons one being to properly describe womens' experiences in a patriarchal society and the like. what needs to change is people feeling like just because they have one sex, doesn't mean they can't be whoever they are inside. people shouldn't have to change their body or make choices small (fashion) or large (medical) scale based on wanting to "appear" one sex or another. it's only enforcing gender stereotypes and norms, 100%. progress has been going backwards, and people are tryna be so woke they overtired n need some sleep lol cause shiz whack.

[@안광]

Some people of the opposite sex want mustaches, adam’s apples, deeper voices, flat chest or breast tissue, fat redistribution, etc… Not everything is about clothes and “stereotypes” LOL

[@gillianstapleton8566]

Wow your looking fabulous I saw your video 4 months back and wow you look amazing. Xxx well done you brave lady

[@Dbulkss]

You look gorgeous. There is a GLOW you have now. May the Lord Jesus Christ Bless You.

[@myrialynn]

You are absolutely stunning. I'm glad your journey is going good 🤗.

[@Thetimeisntcomingback]

I honestly forgot I had subscribed to you cause I’m not on here often. I am trans, FtM, and been on T for 3 years. I mainly subscribed cause I’m fascinated by all of this, and the psychology behind why some detransition. Good luck to you

[@aliaxismail]

Thank you!

[@skateata1]

There was a great ted talk from a person who transitioned from male to female. The person described how differently they were treated when viewed as a female.

[@annettefournier9655]

Spot on! Dump the frigging labels and just be who you are without the boxes. It's your character not your pronoun that's defining.

[@inoel678]

It’s crazy y how powerful hormones are… good luck on your journey :)

[@MIMIX015]

you are a beautiful human 🤩

[@silkworm9691]

I have some trans masc friends that went on testosterone for a short period of time. Because of the permanent effect of t like voice change they were able to go off testorsterone and no longer feel dusphoria. They prefer male pronouns but basically present female in public but among friends male. Hormones don’t have to be forever and perhaps there are positives

[@parapoliticos52]

It's OK to regret decisions you ve made under emotional stress. Especially if they come with heavy cost. In another note. The difference is indeed tremendous, which makes wonder why would anyone exchange being an attractive Woman for becoming a bellow average looking man(on the outside), in the first place.

[@aliaxismail]

Hey there, let’s think about how comments can be interpreted by people and certain opinions are perception. I do not, and will not repeat again, regret any part of my life. Secondly, I am an attractive person no matter how I look. Just because you don’t think so, doesn’t mean it’s not true. Not everything is black and white snd journeys are complex not everything is about looks.

[@SHTMusik]

Your voice sounds great and you look great. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@wfd57fatman]

You currently look feminine (my asexual cis-male opinion) and you look a lot like the singer Madonna, complete with the tooth gap! Thank you for sharing your journey!

[@salvolondon]

Asexual cis male ? You’re simply a man with low sex drive …. Big deal

[@wfd57fatman]

@@salvolondon you simply have no clue what you talk about! My sexuality works just fine. Asexuals just don't want relationships that involve sexuality. I had no problem giving my asexual wife a son. My testosterone is above normal and I do get horny. My strong sex drive can be hindering so I mastrubate for body function relief and self pleasure. I just don't want to do sexual things that involve an additional person. I'm proud of what I am. Would you call a bisexual or pansexual person someone with too much sex drive?

[@kasiah333]

You’re amazing, thank you for your videos. So happy to hear that you love yourself, you deserve that! ♥️