How To Refer To Trans People in the Past

[@jackisnotabird]

Hey, NOTIFICATION SQUAD! 1. Did you get a push notification for this? and 2. What was the title in the notification? Doing a li'l research based on your previous feedback. THANKS! 😝

[@dakotasmallie4619]

I got a notification and the title was "How To Talk About Trans People Before They Transitioned"

[@leviathan6626]

I got a notification and it was the same title as what the people above said, haha

[@RisWish]

Same here!

[@morganz.653]

My notification had the same title as the video.

[@briw1900]

Yes! and How to Talk about Trans People Before They Transitioned

[@ChandlerNWilson]

"Trans to Cis translation" is the best phrase I've ever heard in my whole life lmfao.

[@alexbeckley1397]

ChandlerNWilson Agreed lol

[@karenkavett]

This is something I've quietly wondered about, so thank you for explaining it so well Jack!

[@anoukjordi907]

Karen Kavett DIY Yeah me too! Thanks Jack 😊

[@nickynak3]

Ditto and thank you Jack!!

[@koutashinji]

Series name suggestion: _Trans_ lations! 😄

[@elliejones7767]

koutashinji I know that pun was made a while ago but i would just like to tell you: that was an amazing pun and I thank you for that

[@rayaugustus6413]

Jackson: that's what the youths are into these days, commas. Me: My Dearest, Angelica,

[@arithewizard9747]

Rae The Fable with the cimma after dearest!!!

[@sebastianrollo3904]

You've written my dearest, angelica

[@rainbowpanic5632]

I just came to this video after enjoying Take a Break and was not expecting to find others. All of you have comments from 2 years ago, so I'm late, but when I tell you I almost fell out of my chair... I almost fell out of my chair.

[@toadboba9980]

I loved this!!!! Trans*-lating sounds good, no?

[@KatrinaEames]

+

[@anikacoleman5607]

Jackson is totally my celebrity crush

[@tracynail4432]

Anika Coleman me too?

[@TheLittleLostLamb]

Idk, I am trans and whenever I explain childhood stories I always refer to myself as my "previous" gender because as a kid it didn't matter to me. I consider my trans awakening a new chapter of my life though, not as "a truth waiting to be unlocked" like a lot of other trans people do tho, so people using old pronouns and names when referring to before my trans realisation happened doesn't give me dysphoria, it happened, it's the past. That's just me though

[@jackisnotabird]

I feel this way sometimes too. We may be in the minority though so I think for OTHER people talking about OTHER trans people, it's best to err on the safe side.

[@TheLittleLostLamb]

Jackson Bird you're right, especially if they are transitioning late in life and have a career. I wrote a huge lengthy thing about trans communication in response to this, but I resorted to channel it into script writing instead. So Thankyou for the inspiration dude

[@sjk7467]

I feel the same! I sincerely identified as a boy pre transition so to me I was a boy and now I’m a girl. If others see it differently that’s totally fine and should be respected. I think people should default to the prevailing wishes but I just want cis people to know that it’s not the only way to do it. It’s about respect not grammar or anything like that. The other day I had a cis person refuse to do that because “that’s not how it works” lol.

[@ryanlee354]

god bless as a self-proclaimed English nerd this is something I want to see. also on the whole calling someone their old name when talking about them in the past: I cringe so hard when I see that happen to other people. when Caitlyn Jenner came out, even the most accepting of her friends and family would say things like "when she was birth name" or "back then he was". and I mean its not like her birth name was being "exposed" because we already knew what it was anyway, but it just made me cringe so hard lol no wonder she called her show "I Am Cait"

[@jackisnotabird]

Fun story: The night that I was not uploading this video, I was at an event talking to people ABOUT this video (I know, I know) and someone brought up Caitlyn. He saw a PUBLISHED BOOK from AFTER she came out that dead names her while talking about how she's "now trans." It was so bad. But then someone else brought up how Caitlyn was ok with her old name and pronouns during the Katie Couric interview (which was before her big Vanity Fair reveal, and I get that) and this person thought Caitlyn had maybe mentioned another time that she's okay with her old name and pronouns being used for past events. I don't know if THAT's true, but if it is, it goes to show that different folks have different opinions on how to talk about their past. Sometimes it has to do with their own sense of self and sometimes it because of how they feel when loved ones talk about them. Food for thought at least!

[@ryanlee354]

Jackson Bird yeah I mean she doesn’t seem to be bothered when that sort of thing happens, but that just always makes me feel icky because it’s usually not even necessary in the context that it’s in

[@sjk7467]

On the flip side, I’m a trans girl and I prefer being referred to as a guy pre transition. While there were signs that I wasn’t listening to, I sincerely identified as a guy and was fine with being a guy. I just wanted to be a girl more. I had a cis person tell me the other day “that’s not how it works” then they ignored my preference lol. They’re supportive of trans people in general but just didn’t understand and thought there was only one way to do it. I explained why I prefer that over txt and they apologized and were all good now. I think it should just be made clear to cis people that it’s not really about grammar, it’s about respect and courtesy. If someone prefers being referred to a certain way, that should be respected regardless of your opinions on grammar or what trans people should want. Most trans ppl want it the other way but not everyone.

[@elithebicycle760]

could you talk about the grammar with they/them pronouns? i am a user of those pronouns and it would be great to have a video by a creator i love i could show my friends.

[@Ross-cecil]

I get annoyed whenever people talk about Lily and Lana's work on the Matrix and refuse to use their new names.

[@cookiemonster0l0]

That one really grates on me! Particularly baffling when Lana has been publicly out for a very long time and still gets misgendered

[@jackisnotabird]

Yeah! It's annoying because it's disrespectful, but also I just want EVERYONE to know that one of the coolest movie franchises ever was MADE BY TRANS WOMEN!

[@evanlinden4410]

Definitely not a Matrix fan, but I will respect the Wachowski’s transitions. It’s just common decency

[@stephaniehovis6116]

HEY! This is so, so, so useful. Was talking about us finding the Mjolnir at McCracken’s that one time you came to ATL and realized i had NO idea how to continue my story. So glad you made this video!

[@jackisnotabird]

omg amazing! I still use the Waffle House mug and two McCracken pints that we, ahem, acquired on that trip!

[@beaverdctor]

Thank you for including the "why". Without understanding this I just continue to be ignorant of the experience of trans people, thank you for helping me and others understand 🙏💕

[@RoganShannon13]

Yes!! This series is necessary! I'm excited to see where this goes!

[@lindsay9838]

3:15 should be on billboards, t shirts, scribbled in bibles, everywhere!!😭 Such a simple yet huge statement that half of this country can’t seem to get the hang of. I know this video is 3 years old so I’m probably speaking into the void right now but thank you so much for this. I am cis and was doing something as simple as replying to a Twitter comment with a little story when I realized I wasn’t sure which name was appropriate to use when referring to the trans subject of the story because the event happened before their transition. Googled what to do and it led me here! So thank you for so eloquently and respectfully leading me to the correct answer. This kind of help is so important for those of us who are still naive about certain aspects of being a true ally (and just decent human being) but desperately don’t want to be because hurting someone is hurting someone, whether you meant to or not. Thank you♥️

[@bean_soups6407]

When I'm taking about before I transitioned I refer to myself as "a small bean"

[@johnlemus7921]

This Video was HUGELY HELPFUL! As a 34 Year Old man who often feels like he is 40 when interacting with his younger trans friends and dates, Yeah I would totally appreciate something like a Trans Thesaurus. Up to now I have usually stuck to referring to people specifically by name.

[@alecwinner]

What about trans-lations for the title? Also, i'm trans and i've literally had this problem for talking about myself sometimes, it takes a while to get used to it, thankfully the one time i outed myself accidentally outloud, it was to a 5 year old and his parents already knew/are my friends, so no harm no foul. But even with a kid it was a lightning-bolt of anxiety for a second, which is exactly why you should ere on the side of caution and use current names/pronouns.

[@sjk7467]

You don’t have to do it that way if you don’t want. I’m a trans girl. I prefer people referring to pre transition me as a guy, because at the time I sincerely identified as a guy. It’s totally up to you! It’s all about courtesy, respect, and comfort. I can definitely see why others feel differently after this video though.

[@whjk83921]

This is very well explained! I recently encountered a textbook that made the mistake of referring to a trans girl as "he" in her past. I like how you made the point that doing this can actually endanger people. It's hard to argue with that!

[@robmoney]

I came here because I wasn't sure how to talk about Against Me! in the past tense.

[@enigmatickendo]

Talking about the using the old name and whatnot, just to add my two cents. I feel with any trans language, it's ultimately the most important to just ask the trans person. Like, trans people don't tend to get offended in reality. In fact, most trans people I know or more, more than happy to explain, and would rather that than you be unsure. For example, I do refer to me ten years ago with my old pronouns (but I avoid my dead name) sometimes, because the person I was pretending to be back then isn't me. So, when I talk about ten years ago, I say "he", because there's such a disconnect between who I am and who I pretended to be, y'know?

[@sjk7467]

For sure, I think it’s okay to default to their current gender but cis people should understand that it’s about respect, not grammar or rules, and I get to decide how I’m referred to. I prefer being referred to as a boy pre transition (I’m a trans girl now) because before my transition I sincerely identified as a boy. I didn’t really hate being a boy, I just later figured out I want to become a girl. I dont see it as disrespectful as long as they’re not using it as an excuse to misgender me. I had a cis person refuse to refer to me pre transition as a boy the other day because “that’s not how it works” lol.

[@pecklespeckle1]

When referring to myself, I sometimes just say my dead name because I feel so disconnected from it that it doesn't cause dysphoria. To people I'm out to (three friends and a counselor), I say pre-Ethan (I'm trying out Ethan as a name and it's working out pretty well) Edit: I feel like it's important to know that when I refer to myself as my dead name, I treat (dead name) like a different person. For example, "Oh yeah! (Dead name) drew that!" or "(Dead name) was so stupid. I hated her." Pre-Ethan is treated a *bit* different but usually kinda similar

[@meghan879]

Thank you for answering this!!! I’ve always wondered, but not wanted to ask, because I don’t want to offend anyone. I would be very interested in a series about this!! There is so little discussion in popular media about courtesy to trans people and it is important to educate and respect everybody.

[@catelilian2392]

That feeling when Jackson makes the exact video that I wanted to show to my parents a day after I start thinking about. Thanks! :D

[@pucksandpaperbacks]

I can't wait to see more of this series!! This video was so informative!! I'm a cis female and I never knew how to talk about trans people when talking about their past. Thank you :))

[@dadiva18]

This is incredible. For me, the last thing I ever want to be to anyone I love is disrespectful. For my friends in the LGBTQIA+ community, I never want to step on toes, and for my friends who have or are currently transitioning, I had these questions myself, so thank you for answering them! Looking forward to the rest of the series!

[@xepherhamster]

This was so helpful! I think it would be neat if the series was called Found in Translation

[@northlovelady-allen6441]

Yeah there is a lot of awkwardness. Every year my parents make a calendar for my grandma with pictures of me and my brother. The year after coming out not all of the pictures were post transition, so I cringed looking at the calendar.

[@emilyreinl4775]

This was so educational, thank you! If I can make a suggestion for a future video for this series, I've long wondered about gender-neutral salutations (instead of Mr. or Ms., especially relevant when writing an email to someone whose gender you don't know) and what to say at work instead of "sir" or "ma'am" so as to not accidentally misgender someone. Thanks!

[@charliev4156]

Emily Reinl The gender neutral honorific is Mx. but I'm not sure about a gender neutral version of ma'am or sir

[@emilyreinl4775]

Cat Girl Gaming Thanks!

[@meganlilyflower]

That story about your mom made me emotional out of no where. It’s sweet that she asked and seems to be trying to be an awesome mom.

[@noahfitzer]

So glad you took time to discuss this topic! I used to get the feeling I was being too demanding when I asked my family to refer to past me with my current name and pronouns. After all, they're telling the story from their perspective, and I played the role of woman back then. But the thing is, they're still talking about ME, and who I am is a nonbinary person. Also, changing the pronouns they use in the story is not really a big deal for them, but it sure is for me.

[@tmntallthewaydw]

Thank you for posting this. My mom and siblings keep using my old name and pronouns when talking about the past me and I couldn't figure out a way to address it, so I just sent them a link to this video as a starting point for the conversation. Much Love.

[@TALWOASP]

Thank you! I cannot tell you how difficult it was to find this answer! you told me within 1:13 what I've been looking for, for the better part of an hour! this was very confusing as I did not know how to properly refer to my friend before their transition nd didn't wanna ask them personally as I don't wanna make them or myself uncomfortable. Thank you for your vids they are EXTREMELY helpful!

[@sjk7467]

You can ask them in private as long as you drop it if they don’t wanna talk about it. I prefer being referred to as a boy pre transition because I sincerely identified as a boy (I’m a girl now). I didn’t hate being a boy, I just wanted to be a girl more. It’s different for everyone. I think defaulting to their current gender is fine but just be sure to follow their wishes. There aren’t any rules, it’s just about respecting their identity. I had a cis person tell me that they were going to continue referring to me as a girl pre transition because my preference “isn’t how it works” lol. That’s an example of something you definitely should not do. The fact that you’ve even put it the effort to find this video tells me you’re a good friend :)

[@AndrusJones]

Hey I’m a little late to the party, but thank you so much for this video. It’s helpful to see this insight and the exact answer to a question I’ve been too embarrassed to ask for a long time.

[@morganmartino1071]

Another great video! You really captured a lot of the nuance regarding this topic. I can't wait for more of this series!

[@antlersgray]

Yyyyeeeeessssss - please talk grammar to me. Ha, in all seriousness as a cis-het lady this is super helpful, and as a person with a B.A. in English... I just really enjoy grammar jokes. :) Best wishes!

[@sethhammond5085]

Hi, thanks for this video and for your direct, honest, non-judgmental explanation. You're an awesome person.

[@jaspertheirmajesty9771]

if you take topic suggestions id appreciate one about using they/them

[@jackisnotabird]

I actually cut out a line about how I intend to do that in the future! Definitely coming at some point. Glad to see there's interest!

[@Gredddfe]

Being a parent of a trans child, and also being someone who Just. Doesn't. Get. It. BUT I'M TRYING REALLY HARD OK??? this video helped me along my journey to understanding. So thank you.

[@dunro]

4:27 was a useful clarification, thank you!

[@mildarkaa]

Ah this is something I've been wondering lately! Some of my friends and I had been discussing about how two of our friends had dated a few years ago, one of the two friends has since transitioned and we weren't sure whether to refer to them as our friend's ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. This really helped :D

[@heyitsgrey9856]

Everytime I watch your videos, I can’t help but be distracted by those three Irvine wels books in the background. I can’t help but wonder if you’re just a big fan of the one book, or if they’re a series.

[@jackisnotabird]

It's the Trainspotting trilogy and they belong to my roommate.

[@TechnicolorMoments0]

Thanks for answering a question I was never sure how to ask! I'd definitely love and appreciate more videos on this topic

[@rickymilligan7226]

This is interesting and I had to Google because I don't want to be ignorant, I was watching elliot page and had to find out the answer, thankyou for explaining it clearly and also giving the reasons behind it

[@lindenbug]

Yes! I'm so glad you're making this, please do more.

[@yayababatoto]

I am a youth and... yes am into many commas

[@ringingecho8114]

Thank you for making this video! I'm looking forward to learning more with this series

[@jaylamacchia7541]

Please keep this series going!!

[@charliev4156]

Even as someone who identifies under the trans umbrella this was very good to watch and looking through the comments it is awesome you were thinking about making one about using they/them.

[@Just-Darcy]

Jackson! You’re the coolest. Thank you for this. I was wondering about this as I have a few friends who recently transitioned. 😊❤️

[@joshicus_saint_anger]

I have a sibling who is starting to come out as transgender but is still too hurt by past experiences to discuss anything like this. I want to understand and know they likely need time and space, so thank you for your videos to help me learn

[@rabidtangerine]

"A piece of their work that came out before they did" stealing that lmfao

[@randomgirl1526]

Thanks for explaining this! I was just thinking about this the other day when I talked to someone about the directors of sense8, and I was kinda unsure, so thanks.

[@melissadomagala5576]

Definitely keep making this series! It’s a great idea.

[@SJKM]

This was so helpful. Thankyou Jackson! ♥️

[@phasm42]

I had to Google this because of a picture of Viktor (Umbrella Academy) from season 2.

[@brooklyn7401]

I LOVE this so much, making me a youthfully full blown nerd and geek.

[@vinniecampbell790]

Here because I'm a huge fan of Elliott Page. They've always been Elliott so this makes a lot of sense to me, but just wanted to be sure! Now my kids will never have to google this. Thanks!

[@arithewizard9747]

"a piece of work that came out... before they did" ahhahahahhaha

[@hedgetwentyfour2708]

Hmm, this is very useful info, thanks :) Btw your hair looks great ^^

[@BeccaMoses]

I had to explain some of this to my friends and teachers who aren’t sure how - this seems useful

[@zosostarship7133]

This was incredibly helpful, thank you so much!

[@holytrashbag7300]

Super cool and helpful video!

[@unepommeverte17]

great video! i wish I'd had it a bunch of years ago though oops. i remember distinctly this being one of my questions when i first started learning about trans stuff, but that was like 6 years ago lol

[@TheKniterin]

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your videos!

[@wayale94080]

“Oceania was at war with Eastasia. Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia.”

[@secretaltruism4174]

This is amazing. I love the idea for this series. Also, I noticed there hasn't been a new Transmission for six months. Are we getting any more soon?

[@Davidhadar81]

Thanks. Very helpful and clear.

[@norml6874]

I find it ironic that the antonym of dysphoria is euphoria...

[@vladyslavahorban1174]

Thank you for explaining this, I just wondered about it

[@CodexPotter]

This is the issue I have problems with. I have to still consciously think about it when I say something, and I don't with most other aspects with my trans friends. I get so disappointed and frustrated with myself when I mess up and this is really the only time it ever happens for me.

[@CodexPotter]

(only ever pronouns not names but I know it's still not good. I think a lot more cautiously in general public when talking about it than with my close friends)

[@griskitkat6680]

When referring to myself in the past I tend to just frame it like I'm talking about a guy I knew who mysteriously disappeared at some point in the past few years but can't quite pin down an exact date.

[@sevinm6261]

Your videos are so nice because they're educational and at the same time I can just sit and wonder at how attractive you are

[@Helvetica09]

This is something i was always nervous about! I went to school with a trans guy who transitioned after highschool. When i sas him again a few years later working at a grocery store with a clearly male look and a different name on the tag it was VERY awkward for tue both of us i guess. I am not sure how many of the "old people" he met since transitioning and i really do not want his transsexuality to he a topic because he probably has to talk about it all the time. We weren't many girl in our class back then so whenever i talk about school i have to concentrate to use his now name and not his old name. Like why was he the only guy in your group? Why was he in your all-female classes? and so on...

[@HidingInFantasy]

For the most part this has been my default way to talk about trans people and it makes sense and is fair and I haven't come across any issues. The only time when this has been hard is when I am talking (for example to my parents) about a friend of mine who has transitioned and the people I'm talking to had met the person before they transitioned but are unaware that the person has transitioned and don't know them very well. In a particular situation I remember, my parents were going to see my friend again so felt like it was more sensible to give them a heads up that the person had a new name and used different pronouns so that I could avoid my parents accidentally deadnaming them etc. At the time, the only way I could think of explaining it was to use their deadname to explain who it was and that their name had changed. Thinking about this now, I wonder if there would be a better way to phrase this - maybe by referring to them by some other defining features? In this case, this would be hard as my parents probably wouldn't remember very much about the person as they had only met in person once, but they might remember the deadname. Because my parents had met them before transition, when they met them again it would be clear that they had transitioned, so this isn't really a case of "outing" someone. What are people's thoughts on this? Especially when talking to those who are particularly unfamiliar with or don't know trans terminology or trans people, it can be hard to explain that a person has new pronouns and a different name.

[@charliev4156]

smilemon25 I would say when you can, use something like a short story that you have told the person that involves the trans person(eg "____(preferred name) was on my swim team, did ____ thing with me that I told you about, they are the person who did ____ for me that one time etc) but if the person doesn't know the trans person very well I'm not sure.

[@KatrinaEames]

I think this will be a helpful series.

[@cheater556]

1:09 answers my literal first question.

[@sid9666]

love the video! (and that awesome hair!) :D

[@evanlinden4410]

As a cis bi woman with trans and NB friends, I found this incredibly informative But doesn’t Ash Hardell use they/them?

[@marichard85]

Am I the only one who noticed the name Roonil Wazlib?? Nice one dude ;)

[@Lou-qi3yh]

I love for "The Trans-itive Stories" it's perfect!

[@mariadogaru6950]

So there's this really awesome auto-biography of a trans rock star, but for the first like 90% of the book, she refers to herself exclusively by her birth name and pronouns. So when telling others about stories from the book, I found myself slipping up a lot and saying "he" instead of "she" because I hadn't gotten to her "realization" yet and everything was in male pronouns. I felt real shitty...

[@DrawnByDandy]

I liked this! I would be interested in seeing more :D

[@Orange-ff8dy]

love this video! also your hair is bomb

[@ItsYaz]

i loved this(: it was informative and i needed to know! Thank you(:

[@kellypartington72]

Very helpful, thank you

[@HeyItsAlyssa94]

Thank you for explaining this, Jack! I always use the current pronouns and names, but I have a question. My good friend just started transitioning, and when my mom asks me, like "Who are you hanging out with today?" I respond with the pronouns and name my friend is currently using, and my mom sometimes forgets and says "Who?" and I have to explain that his name was "blank" and now is "blank." Is that offensive or not doing justice to my transitioning friend?

[@HAlC-up4hm]

I'm not trans, but my suggestion would be to try and use identifying activities, accomplishments or features other than the name or gender assigned at birth to remind your mom who your friend is. So when your mom says, "Who?", you can reply with something like: "You know, Jessica. She plays trumpet in Jazz Band with me...on the tennis team...obsessed with cats..." Those clues will point to a person your mom remembers, but you simultaneously reinforced your friends name and/or pronouns.

[@jackisnotabird]

This is a great suggestion! If your mom still isn't getting it, you can try, "remember Jessica? Who recently came out as trans..." It's better to use non-trans identifiers so they don't become The Trans Friend to your mom, but if you've gotta really spell it out I think mentioning they're trans without using their old name and pronouns is better.

[@HeyItsAlyssa94]

Thank you both! This was very helpful. I will be mindful of this in the future when talking about my friend or anyone else I know who is transitioning.

[@TheTekuli]

Damn you have grown up to a hot young man since I last time checked your videos!

[@barrowc]

Thanks for this video. When contributing captions to a video where the audio uses someone's previous name or pronouns, should the captions reflect the audio or should the captions use the person's current name and pronouns?

[@jackisnotabird]

Ooooh very good question. I would think that you're technically supposed to use exactly what is said in the captions, but I'd love to hear what every one else thinks!

[@oliviacaron7088]

barrowc I would use the name in the video with the actually current name like this (name). So it would say “video name (current name).” Unless you asked the video creator who would have a preference. But if you don’t get an answer that’s what I would do

[@GlitterNewsSF]

Love your show! This is a great video/subject.

[@northlovelady-allen6441]

My mom does this all the time. When talking about me now, she always uses my correct name and pronouns, but when talking about me in the past she never does. It’s really annoying.

[@thatoneshortchild1937]

mmm yes you struck gold COMMAS

[@mariveiga1234]

I love this video, so enlightning

[@hypatiastanhope4716]

When I refer to my childhood I simply refer to my self as my true gender ( female) but my mom often talks about my childhood referring to me as a little boy, I forgive her because she has been my number one ally

[@sjk7467]

For me personally I prefer being referred to as a boy when you’re talking about me before my transition (I’m a trans girl now). There were signs for sure but I still sincerely identified as a boy up until my transition. Gender is about self identification to me and I identified as a boy. No amount of transitioning will change how I sincerely felt at the time and as long as someone isn’t just using this as an excuse to misgender, that’s my preference. But after this vid I can certainly see why others feel differently and would respect that. It might be good for you to provide opposing viewpoints along with the dominant opinion (which you should make clear and give the most time). It may be nice for cis people to understand why some trans people feel differently and what to do if that’s the case. I’ve had a cis person tell me that they would not be respecting my preference because that’s “not how it works” lol. It should be made clear that this is about respecting the persons wishes and not a grammatical law. Came to this video to find out why others felt differently and you described it well and succinctly. Thanks!

[@ItsRadishTime]

great video :)

[@rosequill7925]

Also like you don't know if the other person will start calling them by their birth name which is the absolute worst

[@kiklulu5149]

Anyone who’s favorite subject was English is now LGBTQ+ I don’t make the facts I just say them-so yes your intro will attract people

[@marykatem1140]

I think the name TRANSlations sounds pretty cool!

[@celeluwhen]

Hi Jackson, thanks a lot for your video, it helped me think about how I talk about my trans friends. I have a question I'm really wondering, if you don't mind helping me think a little. During my degree I've been interacting with a very talented and amazing person who told me after our very last exam that she decided to transition and wished to be called, let's say Sara, from now on. I kept in touch, and she now presents as a woman on social media and in everyday life. Now many people know her under her old name, which I don't want to say anymore out of respect for her, and just don't know who I'm referring to if I talk about 'Sara". What's the best way to go about it? For example, I want to give her credit for some ideas she shared with me. I'm wondering what's best, between outing her to people we've known for years and she didn't necessarily have time to speak to before leaving college, and just not giving her credit for her work and incredible talent. I'd think I'd ask someone else and research before discussing this matter with her, since we're not so close and I know she's going through mental health issues at the moment. Can you help me? If not, it's ok too, I'll keep researching and wondering, and in doubt I just won't deadname her. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR VIDEOS! I subscribed and will keep educating myself on trans issues. Much love!