Jake and Amir Horoscopes

[@kirbylover37]

Alright, sweet. After like practicing 0:47 for like a half hour straight I can confidently say that the next time someone asked me if I believe in horoscopes I'm dropping this on them: "Honestly, I thought a lot of it was legalese Japanese mumbo-jumbo bullshit; Western medicine meets Western Union; urban garbage yoga yuppie mommy-blogger rag-mag e-zine Candyland cookie-cutter sci-fi wi-fi jai alai verbal diarrhea, but honestly, it turns out a lot of it is spiritual fact." Thanks Jake and Amir!

[@satincartoon2213]

Can you still do it?

[@kirbylover37]

@@satincartoon2213 Yes. That shit is ingrained. Way better than knowing math or some shit.

[@dixiecronin7791]

As a Jake and Amir fan, I love this. As a math teacher, that statement kills me a little

[@ComedyVault101]

@@kirbylover37 Math? Ha. Math was crap. If you wanna know why then steal a HEN. Learning shit is for nerds and jocks, don’t believe me, ask my UNCLE. Green, blue, brown and red. Go to school and you regret it. I got 99 problems but a bitch ate one

[@DoctorX17]

I’m instantly impressed by anyone who can do this. I think Amir just spouts stuff off the cuff, it’s nuts

[@slipknotfatman]

"You will hurl yourself out the window" "Jesus..." I'm in a fit of laughter here, that was golden.

[@JoffWasHere]

Keil000 he said throw. little fucker

[@elricbarnfleau6367]

@@JoffWasHere why is “little fucker” so goddamn funny?? It kills me everytime.

[@Azimii]

that “jesus” might be one of my favorite deliveries of a line in all of j&a

[@DirectorTaffy]

"Very sleepy master," "I didn't say I was your master,""Didnt have to,"

[@Materazzi73]

She said nothing.

[@felipemontealegre5190]

@@Materazzi73 didnt have to

[@rolandnicolai]

Felipe Montealegre You write again “I love you”

[@rottentea9246]

rolandpointoh I do

[@lohchaosiang6608]

@@rottentea9246 she said nothing

[@chesh1re_cat]

The dialog for Jake and Amir will always be one of the best comedy writing ever. They should hire those guys to write for movies

[@martinwhite2792]

lmao "you can do whatever you want on the way down"

[@Kaazikin]

I wish I could've known about the view from halfway down

[@hussain.darwesh]

Coming 6 years later to like your comment ❤

[@thewonderfulwizardoftheweb1053]

;$jake tried to kill me 😎 I am not a chicken

[@NoFaceMan6]

Jake is spelled Jjkae

[@K1RTB]

My new password

[@xenasaur520]

;;*hi amir?

[@NateDoggDeMan]

@@NoFaceMan6poetic licence

[@wodey7028]

"make me cluck like a chicken... boy will my face be red" I lost it XD

[@TrebleWing]

As the handbook says. "Every sensei is a master and every student should refer to him as such"

[@mikelor84]

@@m93sammanGod I love this fandom

[@m93samman]

@@mikelor84 I don't even remember making this comment, but it seems as though I was a pimp and a cool. UPVOTE ME TO KARMA HEAVEN, BABY!

[@mikelor84]

@@m93samman ass

[@m93samman]

@@mikelor84 ... That's beautiful.

[@stevenbrule5285]

3:55 So Amir knows Jake's birthday, and Jake knows Amir's birthday. True gullies!

[@xIKieeranIx]

This is weirdly my favorite episode out of them all.

[@danspitalnik]

Boy, will my face be red.

[@Kgnsbdj]

"Rest assure you can solve them, maybe not though"

[@someperson5506]

I love Amir's rant of buzzwords he doesn't understand XD

[@WhatABanana]

“JAKE: Your mind is so impressionable. AMIR: My mind is not impressionable! JAKE: Yes it is! AMIR: I guess it is. JAKE: God, that's fast. Even for you, that was fast.” Gets me every time.

[@Itsgriffeys]

Ive seen this video a million times and i just realized Jakes horoscope fits for the episode

[@anthonyschultz6801]

So does Amir's🙃

[@MonzennCarloMallari]

Maybe not though

[@thipan15]

1:38 very smooth

[@chase_saddy]

loved his look. so sexy

[@chase_saddy]

"didn't have to" classic! and Amir's look at 1:38

[@Domidod1d]

What episode is "didn't have to" from ?

[@blushingfrieza]

Domidod1d the Tinder one

[@elodge1667]

Wow this one got dark...

[@TheManinBlack9054]

This is dark af

[@tommytwobrews]

@hi there no its just funny

[@revotor8142]

Good to see even old unlisted videos like this one are back! One of my favorites

[@ReidTheRulesGuy]

So did they switch this over from the third party channel it was on before?

[@vickyg1788]

...Jake IS the master...

[@GoOnLaurie]

The pinch is the master...

[@Ephraim32]

Jake was the master.

[@HarperNguyen]

And he has laid claim to The Master.

[@ChrisPMuffin]

***** Raven's Nest is the master.

[@youssefomar6301]

Therefore, he is the master.

[@YoZync]

;;*hi amir? if any of you were trying to visualize it

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

;$jake tried to kill me🕶i'm not a chicken

[@beeeeeej]

He send that to his mother

[@yasminelaoi3362]

What does this mean btw? I never understood why Jake said it’s bad lol

[@camerondawson9114]

Yasmine Laoi because Jake thought that his mom sent it to amir, and was laughing at the fact that old people aren’t great at using phones

[@firewarg]

Amir has swag at 1:37

[@pennydesouza]

+W E I shit you're right

[@Dogtles]

thats not swag. that's class

[@jorgelujan9942]

haha I love the look he puts on

[@Mayorofpeepsville]

Has anyone made a gif of this because I has to have it

[@akayysworld]

W E I NOBODY CAN TOUCH MY SWAAAAG

[@samfoster709]

This might be the best written episode of J and A. Script game on point.

[@PhantasmalBlast]

Seriously this is one of the ones I always come back to

[@JulioFromBoston]

I think one of the best things about J&A is that you find this written under almost everyone of their videos. Speaks volumes about the strength of their content

[@jacobb978]

Us Pisces don't believe in Astrology.

[@Kenzaaa123]

Uh huh...

[@joeyrozic1100]

Speak for yourself, ass.

[@jacobb978]

You're the ass, ASS.

[@surelock3221]

I eat ass, ASS.

[@LimLamOfficial]

You're the ass, ASS.

[@codyunderhill7439]

I've actually never seen this one

[@severalsedrack]

+harri seward There are many episodes that they just posted on the college humor page and not to youtube

[@lipglass]

+harri seward How does it feel like

[@ricardolutz8964]

Why is this not on collegehumor

[@Psychol-Snooper]

Well, why not watch it? You were here!

[@MrFestante]

Man more i watch Jake and Amir videos more i spot new things: that 1:38 amir cool face is just genius XD

[@MannyNamiro]

I know, right? He's just so confident in that shot. It's like a completely different person.

[@dogshake]

I love the little faces Amir makes while Jake rants to him.

[@DennisBayazitov]

"He's getting smarter." - Little Orphan Annie

[@jamespusey7186]

i love all of this video, and the bulk of it gets the praise it deserves but the first 30 seconds works perfectly as a joke by itself

[@SvenicusGermainus]

I love the videos where Jake either tries to kill Amir or doesn't do anything to stop him from dying. Really shows how their relationship has grown over the years.

[@QuarkGluonPlasma]

"Open the window, then jump" "No chicken" "No chicken"

[@anthonyschultz6801]

This is MAAAYBE my FAVORITE episode!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣 Gets me EVERY TIME!!!

[@owen429]

honestly, both the writing and the acting is so next level. The bizarre left turn into a hypnosis murder plot followed by the ultimate conceit that he knew the whole time. It feels like they're going full lunacy but then they bring it back home so well. Also, Jake's acting in this one is superb. The way he sells his intrigue as Amir wakes up is genuinely movie quality.

[@SvenicusGermainus]

This is probably my favorite episode.

[@TigressWhite]

Ahem: "Leo is a firm believer in hard work, but tends to get things done through their charm and social skills. However, both Leo and Capricorn are extremely devoted, especially to each other. Although they may seem to be an unlikely couple on the surface, their love will grow as they discover similarities."

[@dweebpatrol]

HA I don't like work

[@writingsongsforfrogs5672]

awww thats actually so cute

[@kmooreside9610]

awwwwww that's so bullshit

[@NDJunction]

Like me, Amir has that cusp wind of Aquarius seeping through (anyone 19-23 of any month can be a VICTIM of this) hence why he's loud, hilarious, random and even more compatible with a leo

[@eagle3676]

ND Junction no he's not it doesn't matter which month will you were born

[@monkeyman12981]

Recently i’ve been finding a lot of their deleted jake and amirs that go down the jake tries to kill amir or asks him to die route. I’m guessing they were too dark for the series haha

[@StevenRoil]

This whole episode is gold, even the beginning with the texting

[@fanofshrimp]

1:37 Amir is trying to be Stephen Colbert

[@DrJohnZoidberg125]

The glasses trick?

[@samvictoria100]

Stephen Colbert = one of the least funny men in america, Amir: funny as fuck. please dont compare the two they are polar opposites in terms of comedy

[@DrJohnZoidberg125]

King Moka Maybe you don't understand his comedy

[@mrkz69420]

Colbert is brilliant! Amir, too, of course

[@daryldsp509]

;$ Jake tried to kill me 😎 I'm not a chicken. 3:44

[@bobxyzp]

I love the way Amir says “maybe not though.” I think about it every time I have to give my opinion on something

[@paul_warner]

0:44-1:06 is one of my favorite things in this entire series ever

[@jamesgrimes4587]

1:57 Amir makes the Hypnokiller connection

[@Sessho4]

Lmfaooo “ good guess, down to the minute”.

[@Gabeghouls]

1:38 Here comes the smoulder.

[@JohnDoe-hk5ec]

Lol Amir looked straight up Dapper for a second

[@brycesmith6427]

The opening texting joke was fucking hilarious. Great structure, gotta love it

[@rimjob2304]

i missed watching these. good to be back

[@TechNeedi]

Feel like watching community evertime i watch jake and amir

[@tkhiez]

This episode evolves into an apple, because it is that of my eye!

[@JRWW_EFC]

God this one was dark

[@jurijkaj]

"No clucking, you could do whatever you want on the way down, just be sure to do the important bullet points" Jesus that's dark 😂

[@shishsjxnsnzns]

I love the context that Amir apparently operates entirely within the subconcious

[@devin_so_devious]

If Jake wants Amir to jump out the window just put a picture of him in Bo Peep clothes on the fridge

[@virgo3098]

"jesus" the funniest part by far

[@ejoshcoron]

lolol no doubt! I died

[@TheAbigailDee]

SUCH an underrated gem

[@not_henry_the_fifth]

;;*hi amir?

[@roblemay3329]

:$jake tried to kill me😎i am not a chicken

[@DaPingPongKing]

why is this not on collegehumor's channel

[@CreeperDroppings]

Because they didn't think it was gucci

[@jimjones1049]

CreeperDroppings i thought this one was hilarious

[@minartson]

+DaPingPongKing Might be because of all the jumping down the window thing with all the sensitive people around.

[@minartson]

+DaPingPongKing Might be because of all the jumping down the window thing with all the sensitive people around.

[@CreeperDroppings]

+Mäu Fucking hell its been almost a year but it's cause they wanted to catch up on youtube to where they were on collegehumor so they had to skip of Jake and Amir being posted. All for the finale.

[@fatback1388]

Watching on jakes birthday

[@HarryRunes]

Why are there no comments on this video? also literally my favorite jake and amir episode

[@sawyerchism8539]

The rights of all the jake and Amir videos were transferred to the If I Were You channel after they bought them, and I guess that doesn’t transfer the comments on the videos

[@CarlosAtwell]

Actually had to root for Amir this time. That was cold, Jake.

[@michaelholtz599]

So was Amir's body after he followed Jake eventually

[@bobxyzp]

Colder than aardvark cum

[@steve6767]

The Jake birthday guess at the beginning 😂😂😂

[@decemberscott1289]

There are so little comments I'm so surprised since they're so amazing

[@galatea3484]

honestly after everything i've seen on this show i'm surprised that jake thought that jumping out of a window would be enough to kill amir

[@Ash_P07]

@ 2:10 did anyone else get the "didn't have to" reference here... cracked me up

[@jesusthroughmary]

+Aashish Priye We all got it.

[@Domidod1d]

What episode is "didn't have to" from ?

[@DeathTheKid10]

+Domidod1d Jake and Amir: Tinder

[@jesuisahmedn]

Aashish Priye I don't think it was a reference to that

[@vanr9232]

1:39 jesus amir looks sooo cute

[@frankiehompson2746]

Omg this is one of the best I’ve seen in a whike

[@tino9718]

peak jake and amir!

[@Wedeliver101]

Woah how have I not seen this episode?

[@WaynesStrangeBrain]

Hey happy birthday Jake! He's 35!

[@epicbruhmoment6985]

Imagine if at the end they pan out and there was someone sitting right out of frame listening to all of it and just not caring.

[@Gslickcya]

Finally its up on youtube.

[@jameswood2898]

Shoutout burgundyskymusic.. if you know you know

[@skuthepoo]

‘Down to the minute’ cracked me

[@micahhepler5207]

How did i miss this one?

[@roblemay3329]

[@jamesmochoa]

You are my master

[@Hossyboy420]

That's exactly it... Down to the minute... Good guess

[@bootstrap52]

Holy shit Jake has the same birthday as me. (just a decade earlier)

[@katyarodriguez1775]

same, twin

[@Lenn10t]

One of the bests

[@thelifeofpewpew3290]

That's awesome dude!

[@Strummie]

Thelifeof Pewpew You’re a dumbass.

[@thelifeofpewpew3290]

@@Strummie twas the season

[@cl9282]

"Good guess"

[@pedwah]

Happy Murphday Jjkae!

[@KaelWrit]

"you can do whatever you want on the way down"

[@garethmcguinness377]

CollegeHumor no longer exists after this day

[@ministickdude99]

“Try not to learn new things”

[@ImSquiggs]

Why isn't this on the main channel?

[@WillToWinvlog]

Suicide jokes

[@captainautobots]

@@WillToWinvlog technically murder with suicide as the cover

[@yakplateado1923]

so Amir is a Capricorn... it all makes so much sense now

[@naifxiv7706]

"you're not teaching me anything" 😂😂

[@samweldon8104]

So Sagittarius also need to be on the look out for hypno-killers, as well as Capricorns lol

[@scytha3721]

I need to learn that glasses trick to look smort.

[@colevickery6758]

The lighting in these later episodes is darker and more depressing. It doesn't fit the old happy jake and amir :(

[@dop3ship]

holy shit jake sounds so much more angry this video

[@Basher.G]

Jake could've at least tried to change Amir's behavior

[@watersticks5359]

this was the darkest episode

[@antonsantiago8487]

AYYYYY Jake and I are both Leo's! Fuck yeah

[@figgledoi]

The conversation at the beginning was actually pretty normal on amirs part, jake was kind of being a diva

[@tneil.4292]

Who's still here in 2024?

[@riverw4721]

why is there no one else in the office

[@user-mv8ks8eu9u]

i wonder what mickeys star sign is

[@outback11dr]

1:39 Amir’s Face 😂

[@non_brewed_condiment]

Your mind is so impressionable my mind is not impressionable yes it is I guess it is

[@JoshLikeCrazy]

;;*Hi Amir?

[@xmagic2323]

Please yes... damnit

[@jamesmochoa]

You didn't have to...