Jake and Amir Improvise a Scroll (Patreon Clip)

New scroll, who dis??
Make sure you watch this week's / ja exclusive to hear all about Amir's Thanksgiving plans for this year!

[@DoctorX17]

I love how Amir is basically an entity that lives in both of you, lmao...

[@PickleJello]

There's definitely well-known Amir dialogues that were actually written by Jake, but were better for Amir to say.

[@chrism45]

@@PickleJello They all were, all Jake and Amir is written 50-50 they don't write for each of their own characters.

[@michaelfujii2317]

Turns out Fight Club was actually based on Jake and Amir.

[@danielsos9824]

this brings a lot of credence to my theory that "Amir Valerie Blumenfeld" is in fact a sort of sentient thoughtform that can possess certain people.

[@thehyphenator]

Everybody's name is Amir Blumenfeld.

[@Joe_SN]

Jake just improvising the cops coming to the door and asking questions with a rhyme for every single Chris is mightily impressive

[@chrism45]

He's a great writer.

[@nooa859]

And actually a golden mic worthy rhyme for this coy guy!

[@geekroom2365]

He truly is the Pinch in these situations

[@elis7393]

The only rhyme was with Chris Pine

[@JeremyHoffman]

Also "sense" and "evidence"

[@karmaheaven7]

An improv scroll for these men so droll makes Santa say: “They deserve coal!”

[@karmaheaven7]

I tossed an iguana’s salad-at an ugly sweater party!

[@karmaheaven7]

I’m trying to say I have friends with cool pets

[@ejoshcoron]

Even if one of the brothers Chris give her away doesn't mean I can't be the best man!

[@SeraphsWitness]

All's bare in shove and floor. Not to be passive aggressive.

[@Chris180Z]

I think we're long overdue a scroll video by now 😂, it's no longer lazy writing / rise and repeat when it becomes a cult classic!

[@darksaintparker]

Jake and Amir still being friends and going strong makes me so happy and gives me faith in humanity

[@virg0_lem0nade]

"Chris Pratt's gone missing? Well that's no fault of mine"

[@centigradz2centigradz289]

Them laughing along makes it even funnier.

[@johnc8209]

The outtakes of the old janda and the headgum stuff is the funniest stuff

[@awsmguy175]

i like amir doing the jake bits too ‘so you do need wine’

[@CeaserMadrazo]

I love how naturally they come up with new material, having done it for so long.

[@jewelnelson6337]

They've still got it. Love watching their material.

[@Phnx8]

Ok you have to do more scroll episodes now

[@Gravitics]

They said eat chris pine, i said no thanks im fine

[@mhc706]

Dammit y’all make some of these episodes. This was hilarious

[@dylanjwebmusic]

Number 3: Go to work. You don't have to attend Thanksgiving when you can go make a living. And why eat that gizzard when you can walk through a blizzard. Do you think a gizzard is a bird? Yeah it's a fightless turd, exactly right (not saying this is that good, it's just some stuff that came into my head)

[@PyrofreakStudios]

Be careful you don’t get Thomas Crown affair’d with all that art in your head

[@yourenotthatkai3920]

LOVE IT ahhhhhh y'all are amazing

[@xHaste]

These divas are aging like fine wine

[@xXimakidXx]

wait, that last jake bit was so good lol

[@WorkerBeeSupply]

Always love to see Jake’s goofy side come out 😂

[@bobxyzp]

Number 3, turkey stuffed with Pine nuts for me!

[@hypnoz123]

We need a Jake scroll video babababa-baaad

[@Jizzle90]

Definitely need to make this a skit so we can see it from creation to reality.

[@Sweet_Dee]

I want a new scroll episode delivered by an unhinged Jake!

[@kylebower8167]

That was masterful.

[@1Poiuytgfdsa1]

Number 5 was legendary

[@GregTurismo]

Jake is really good at this

[@JayGC]

Number four - “SURE I ate Thor, but after Chris Hemsworth I couldn’t eat any more!” “Same guy, and obviously you could eat more”

[@mcgruder22]

Damn Jake's got some skill!

[@1tabsam]

Number Ten. It’s not here nor there not now nor then. Now take one bite and throw it in the bin Number Nine. Cook up Chris Pine. I’m sure he’ll taste real fine. Over a fire if things are dire Number Eight. Grab a plate! That’s right, cut in line, yes I’m sorry I was late but I need food now for me and my good mate before it gets too late Number Seven. Is this Heaven? I seemed to have past out and now it’s half past eleven. Will you pass me a slice of ol Chris Evans Number Six. These weren’t a good mix. I’m feeling sick. Someone call 911 quick!

[@jdlacroix1328]

😂😂😂

[@kelkanta]

I think Jake might be a poet

[@thomaspatton9734]

Oh man, I wish you guys would film this as a sketch, just one more job for old-time's sake.

[@elis7393]

One of them was to eat Chris Pine. I mean what is wrong with you?

[@374jr]

This one needs to be a skit with douche Jake 🤌🏽

[@SeraphsWitness]

Did I miss the part where Chris Pine is an Avenger?

[@cometmoon4485]

It's pretty funny how there are three huge Hollywood Chrises in the MCU and the ONE Chris that he picked to call an Avenger happens to be the one who was never in an MCU movie

[@SeraphsWitness]

I feel like that's a prime opportunity for a joke in this sketch. haha@@cometmoon4485

[@andrewodonnell8219]

Top ten animals to run away from, by Amir Valerie Blumenfeld: Number 10: run from a goat named Glen! You’ve goaded this bovid oh too many times, and Glen wants out of his pen. He’s adorned with two pointy horns, which he finds using to be amusing. Don’t take part in this semi-satyr satire, dodge those scimitars and pray amen. Number 9: dine with a swine. Just leave him be to enjoy his treat as you escape nimbly on your feet Number 8: Rhinos are great. But a flat tire on an African safari makes your heart rate inflate. Mamma mia, you’re stuck in Tanzania! Don’t let this spiky bison see you stranded! You only glimpsed the liability waiver, whose warnings were candid. Number 7: Go to heaven! Chase a cherub, annoy an angel, or even tease the big G-O-D himself! Just don’t come crying to me when you’ve got the lord’s army tracking you down Number 6: Politics. Rhinos are great, but let’s talk donkeys and elephants. If they outskate your gait you await your fate, and oh no! You’re back at those pearly, pearly gates! Help me God please please I’m sorry for calling you names, the past is irrelevant, does your yard need to be raked? Number 5: Stay alive. Hooray! Hooray! Yahweh saved the day, it’s fall time high in the sky and this God guy needs leaves to go bye bye. Rid the lawn of the tree’s spawn and your life will go on and on and on! Number 4: This chore is a bore. I don’t want to do this chore anymore. Bind me in chains and cast me to Hell, to evade Satan’s beasts for eternity’s spell. Number 3: Fun for me! These little goblins really like me! Run and hide for a fiend to find and when it’s your turn to seek... listen for their squeak! Check the molten magma creek Number 2: Run away from a shrew And number 1: Go see the sun! Climb that ladder to heaven and get off halfway. When you’re back on planet you could run from a gannet or dammit just give in and let nature consume you! Don’t run from creatures, let them be your teachers, and most importantly, have fun.

[@non_brewed_condiment]

who is chris pine???

[@arceus30001]

why is this better than all the actual new episodes

[@christholen7451]

First