Jake and Amir: Shmuel's Rules

[@weebhunter5419]

Amir's middle name not actually being Valerie makes me more sad than it should.

[@AV9000x]

Its Amir Valerie Chino Shmuel Blumenfeld

[@HaloAssassins]

Should we start a GoFundMe to help him legally change it?

[@hittingyouoverthehead]

His name is Rodrigo OOoh!

[@jackief7726]

He has illegally, for the record, without warning, changed his name yet again.

[@makutaservaela9034]

I did a double take when Jake said that. Amir Valerie Blumenfeld rolls so nicely off the tongue.

[@fearsomerake]

Wow, Jake was seemingly excited about lunch for a while there. He's clearly fallen a few steps on the social ladder.

[@notsosupersaiyan1005]

Tbf now he's choosing to work with Amir rather than being forced to work across from him like in the old episodes.

[@fearsomerake]

@@notsosupersaiyan1005 I do like the theory that Jake isn't actually very popular or even well-liked, and that's why he keeps putting up with Amir despite his insanity.

[@rebca_]

@@fearsomerake The Hallie arc showed that Jake can't live without Amir being the obsessive idiot he usually is.

[@eggo5643]

he's fallen down a golden step, which is 4 regular steps

[@EvilApple567]

@@eggo5643 With 4 rungs per step

[@JiklopDave]

Shmuel's Golden Rule: Don't bring your dad around here. This ain't no place for dads.

[@Roonlovesfish3874]

But it is a one-stop shop for mom and pop

[@freddysw]

Isn’t that redundant?

[@SerraPontosSoc]

Wydley agreed that's a great slogan

[@juliuskull]

This is new and original. Their relationship seems a bit different now, because it has developed over the years. Like the start about crying and trolling restaurants. I really like that. This is the way forward for the show. Good job Jake and Amir!

[@sam9974]

Agreed! Somehow they managed to keep J&A fresh after all these years

[@mikeangelo94]

It's very similar to the Homeland episode kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6DSi5Scopqoa8k

[@Penguinz13989]

I agree. I’d like to see more of this. But they need to tweak the flow of the cuts and maybe slightly increase Amir’s excitement level. The « shut the fuck up » moment had the right spirit but it lacked the shocking effect of a low IQ narcissist lashing out. It’s still noticeably a step down from peak Jake and Amir, like during « homeland » as someone else mentioned. Make it faster pace, make the jokes simpler and cruder. Amir seems like he has dignity now. That’s not gonna fly. You can’t have two dignified characters in a comedy duo. Drop the dignity. Drop the self respect. Become that manic ADHD filterless abused only child again.

[@MrWednesday3]

Valerie has become Shmuel, and the divide between Man and Bit grows ever smaller.

[@forty_two42]

This felt like "dinner tonight?" Amir. And honestly it's all I've wanted for years. Thank you goons

[@psuley1977]

I could do the Ds

[@hendrickcavvendish6634]

This is golden era J&A writing, but their performances are still just a little bit lacking-- still love it though.

[@liamfoley3903]

Liam

[@forty_two42]

@@liamfoley3903 nice

[@miracledip5123]

Jake straight up cashed in his one-time audio coupon by crying to shut down the restaurant. After all those years of trying to make Amir a better person, he’s finally sunk to his level

[@OppositeofHATE7]

He was crying to get a table at the restaurant and then they stayed until the restaurant was trying to close for the night

[@TimmyMcGowan]

You can also grab a waitress’s wrist for a free cake

[@Jellyfish146]

I'm glad he's getting back to his roots with a Jewish middle name. Someone get this guy a Garmin

[@jesusthroughmary]

I mean, it's his real life middle name.

[@viralarchitect]

It's really kinda weird that it's his real actual middle name. I liked Valorie, but you had to use the real one for this golden rule of an episode quite frankly

[@BrianMagnan]

I could imagine Shmuel’s Rules becoming a list episode.

[@lucasbischoff2268]

That's a great idea! It'll cost you, obviously

[@BrianMagnan]

@@lucasbischoff2268 I’m not paying for anything!

[@nderohan]

Shmuel

[@leoriley5709]

It’s more of a sphere

[@thereisnoaddress]

YES!! I thought it would be amazing for a scroll episode.

[@herachris]

I cant believe the podcast bit became this gold.

[@wehatekai]

Which episode is it??

[@Camtrain1989]

@@wehatekai the one where they did a bit based off this episode ya bish

[@herachris]

You gotta learn how to be funny man, it's ep 511.

[@Hsel-lc1wt]

@@Camtrain1989 this episode is actually based off the bit

[@Camtrain1989]

@@Hsel-lc1wt that's what I meant I I I I made a mistake, a blunder if you will. And I do have to take it.

[@NarutoManiac300]

Its crazy how after all these years they returned and didnt miss a beat, in fact their writing seems to have gotten better. Elite episode as always.

[@R3fug333]

This just seems like a conversation they had normally.

[@IMatchoNation]

Vaguely?

[@shortanimationz]

@@IMatchoNation there's a disconnect here

[@seamusmf]

they pretty much did have this exact conversation on their podcast 😂

[@kitsunefire1]

Den!

[@msrpmusic303]

This episode was Other. Fine job, Shmuel and Josh.

[@ryanhealy9026]

That's Paris

[@Two-Eyed_Boy]

They were so jovial and friendly for those first 4 seconds too!

[@BrianMagnan]

Jake was willing to have a conversation but Amir is just steam rolling him. He just has an agenda and won’t interact with Jake.

[@Two-Eyed_Boy]

@@BrianMagnan would have been a nice lunch too damn

[@BrianMagnan]

@@Two-Eyed_Boy yes, it would have been Amazeballs.

[@BlueCheeseCrumbles]

I love that it's at the point where the speed at which amir says dumb shit is faster than the speed at which Jake can be audibly confused by it

[@HorrorFlickswithNick]

Shmuels Goldenest Rule: change your middle name from Valerie

[@JayMiV]

fun to look back on this when Amir was Garminless

[@QuickGG]

I’ve missed these so much. keep it going forever guys!

[@TheZigmis]

This feels like the old J&A the most so far. Amir is a lot more energetic.

[@tylerdrama]

agreed!

[@TimSurway]

I agree. Really excellent quality stuff that probably beats what they were producing towards the end of the original run.

[@Last_Respecter]

Yeah they realize the audience prefers the 2011-2012 bitchly Amir and not the unhinged twinge version.

[@stephanieexists]

Yeah, I think all stages and evolutions of the amir character have been incredibly hilarious (and obviously incredibly acted and delivered by amir) but perhaps the slightly more insecure, puppy dog/idiot era amir was/is one of the best (imo)! Maybe it was the relationship between jake and amir that was in a sweet spot at that point? Like how amir could be endearing, kind, and would obsessively cater to jake to try and win him over, but then would also be absolutely the worst ever in every naïve way at the same time (and then also just straight-up evil to everyone who was NOT jake, like Pat and etc.) Idk, just trying to dissect some of the reasons and ways that jake and amir was & IS so hilarious is really fun- don’t mind my ramblings ! Sorry!

[@christianmccauley7340]

I miss energetic amir

[@SeraphsWitness]

It's not complicated at all. 4 idioms per rule, 4 rules per golden rule. Get it together Jake

[@jesusthroughmary]

r/angryupvote

[@kade_silver]

and it's a sphere

[@bjorn_joseph]

What Patreon tiers gets to make a golden rule?

[@hejmine]

You've got to soon reintroduce Jake's underplayed but very real passion for kites

[@xZellxKyoux]

These guys are pretty funny, they should keep doing these videos, maybe like 800-ish more episodes like these, seems like a bright future ahead of them

[@maxithewoowoo]

Amir: because rule one of Shmuel's rules is to not talk about... Jake: Shmuels rules? Amir: Fight club. I hate that film

[@ellenvlachos304]

This one absolutely Shmuels. Meaning, it is other.

[@andrewjackson3603]

‘Your brain…SUCKS’ ‘Excuse?’

[@godfarm10]

Jake learned the crying bit from the deluxe package. But he got what he wants so now it’s fine.

[@ericmcdonald2964]

This is definitely my favorite so far. I love the originality of it guys, keep up the good work!

[@malcolmk2878]

Ah man I love how they tightened things up!! The first couple of *new* episodes were so lax and you could see them constantly breaking character... now you really start to feel the characters come back more authentically. God I missed you guys. These are so fucking good still!!!

[@Brandon-ml2zw]

Came around to do my rounds of JnA reruns, just to find out they actually kept making content. Can’t wait to hear what Sal thinks about this.

[@hussain.darwesh]

Sam?

[@cooldawg2009]

It always gets me when jake goes to fill in Amir’s statements with the most obvious answer but then Amir says something way out of nowhere instead 😂 That Fightclub part got me

[@kristinnkristinsson1369]

I love when Amir starts saying something that's mildly respectable, and then IMMEDIATELY invalidates his own statement. "a twitch channel that I'm gonna set up from scratch, I just need your password." "So you're not setting it up." Kills me every time.

[@RemyLebeau1985]

Jake: The Golden Rules. Amir: Golden Rules. Lmfao

[@drguppy7861]

Loved this episode! Might be my favorite one so far of the new ones

[@jordanberke8749]

Hey guys love the shorts so glad you came back. just an idea but an episode on like sigma males or chads I think would be hysterical

[@septopus3516]

this is one of their best writing in action.

[@quantumshenanigans]

this was really good. the best of the new ones for sure.

[@quadling3521]

Wait does the restaurant do both Japanese and Chinese food or do they do Japanese OR Chinese food and Jake doesn’t know which?

[@FineOtter]

This is one of the great unanswerables.

[@ethanberry4306]

Love y’all so much!

[@kingsofdogs1]

Jake sounds like the type of man that could dig deeper into a mountain than any dwarf

[@kvltslime2261]

I'll bet animals love him

[@mitchhills1244]

“Rule 1 of Shmuel’s rules is to never talk about fight club. I hate that film.” 😂

[@lulusobel8643]

There really is always one you haven't seen!

[@scytha3721]

I should not have tried to eat while watching this, so good. Time to watch it again.

[@MissyFaye]

Amazingly I just listened to that podcast episode this morning haha perfect timing!

[@noe9250]

this episode was good & the audio quality was good too, nice job

[@hittingyouoverthehead]

It was better than good.. it was deez.

[@SHUTDOWNOfficial]

@@hittingyouoverthehead What's good?

[@TK_Randell]

This was a good video. I liked it outright!

[@D1G1T4LJ3D1]

i'm so happy y'all started doing more skits

[@kani6393]

Jake and Amir are always quotable. I watch all the old episodes everyday till the new ones drop. Been watching like 8 years now can’t believe it.

[@notmine914]

I have watched every jake and amir, and of the new releases, this is the best written one. A lot of old J&A jokes told in new ways, absolute golddd

[@kofe87]

When I was a child my pants were threadbare...

[@joeybrisk1869]

These episodes are getting better

[@lukef6940]

Love you guys!! Never stop making these❤️

[@auxiliarylens3876]

I was wondering what happened with you guys after years of not watching, and I search you up today and was happy to see this is a recent video and they're still at it. This cracked me like old times "somewhere in the middle of the three rules" hahaha

[@michaelhill3467]

Best of the new batch so far! Seems like they’re figuring out what the evolved dynamic will be

[@CheesyWeasels]

I'm so glad you guys are back

[@jpcarlsen7332]

When are we getting more episodes??

[@Niskrr]

Please never stop these

[@paulvsthevolcano]

This was so good!! Thank you!

[@mevicky100]

this is an incredible blend of their personas from different eras

[@mevicky100]

top ten Shmuel’s Rules by Amir Valerie “Shmuel” Blumenwitz

[@gybpyro]

Listening to the episode of if I were you where this was thought of made me feel like I was a part of the writing team and I love it

[@cappy6360]

Smiled the whole time I watched this one! So happy the boys are back! I half expected a Lod or some shmuck trying to rent out a muffin to walk in!

[@VerbalGOAT]

after 10+ years I randomly watched Some Good News the other day and I was reminded of College humor and Streeter and Jake and Amir and Ben is a writer for Seth Meyers now. I'm glad these guys are still active along with Rhett and Link

[@gustavjohansson5551]

Best One yet since D comeback!

[@yakplateado1923]

omg yeah!!! I can't believe this was uploaded so recently!

[@redned870]

Rule nr 1 don't lean back in an airplane, unless your Shmuel.. In which case... YOU RULE!

[@AnAdequateViolinist]

This was a dang good video, very comedy

[@BenjaminGoose]

Was? It hasn't been shown yet. :S

[@TheGregbueno]

@@BenjaminGoose early access

[@TheGregbueno]

clear

[@pouriarajaee6811]

@@TheGregbueno ummmm, it's called time travel

[@AnAdequateViolinist]

@@BenjaminGoose I watched it on my Third Generation Apple iPod Nano

[@Shizzmonger]

So glad they're back

[@kani6393]

“I didn’t like that” as Jake does the little smug facial expression

[@Carmeezy]

much more "jake and amir"-esque episode. Cracked up at the insanity of "you thought the thought of me thinking"

[@ethanjames1316]

I thought Amir’s middle name is Valerie???? Where did Shmuel come from?

[@jessicajacobsen5845]

You guys are really getting back into the groove. I missed J&A So much

[@toxikpandazzz]

I am so happy with Jake and amir being back in my life

[@FaeriePuck]

I’ve never seen this one. Somehow, over the years, this one fell through the cracks. I’m paused on the opening ad right now. I’m fucking shaking with excitement.

[@RaycrowX]

This feels like a return to form ❤

[@Penguinz13989]

“Go with that then, other” “Wow for a golden rule” Can someone explain this part please

[@b3productions974]

He has changed his name in continuity YET AGAIN!

[@andrewtran694]

this one had me crying, the boys are frickin back 😭😭

[@alexandermason3421]

Jake and amir bring me so much joy

[@dylaneverhartmusic]

2:50 sounds like something Katie from CH would say with dead pan delivery

[@TheXboxReviewer]

"Crying works." "It really does!"

[@aw98000]

Unsung heroes 👏 your comedy is better than most of what's on tv

[@TheVideoTailor]

Love watching new J&A again, how cool is this

[@Svettestealbaner]

Never stop making these

[@ma99954]

I would watch amirs twitch channel that sounds fun as hell

[@MrTreyblob33]

I feel like they're starting their relationship from square one because they got so insane at the end of the original series. I'm sure it will get there again

[@shawalliam]

How thin were his trousers? Nightmarishly thin

[@manonganonman]

Constricted him like a garden snake

[@johnlovell2806]

Jake Takes on Amir's personality: You are a bad guy to listen to and hear.

[@skydaplaya6]

Absolutely top tier content!

[@eggo5643]

this is amazing, it... it blew me away, yeah.

[@roywastaken]

I love Jake and Amir.

[@strow99]

Waiting for the episode were Murph reappears lol I'm sure he'd do a cameo

[@awesomeguy2009]

Schmuel? I thought the diva roach's middle SCHNAME was Valerie? Are we going through through through through a a a Mandela effect of jorts?

[@voxvolhynia5400]

Think of it as being the same name, but from a different angle. Think of Schmuel as being an identical twin to Valerie, but for some reason was given more love and attention by their parents after Schmuel achieved higher grades in college, but only by cheating, which he DID do even though his parents didn't believe Valerie, causing a catastrophic family divide for years. Then, randomly out of left field, or should I say out of his luxury suite that he didn't deserve, Schmuel has the nerve, the audacity, the GALL, the COJONES, to ask Valerie if they could partner up as, as, as some sort of team?? A little too late with that one, buddy. But Valerie secretly wanted to say yes, after all this time, to mend the gap and fix the emptiness looming deep inside. So yeah, maybe they're not so different after all.

[@laxku]

"Your brain....sucks." "scuse?"

[@Lucifersfursona]

The laugh on “a twitch channel from scraaa-aatch” like he’s breaking in universe is everything to me

[@Lucifersfursona]

“What’s the rule?? That chinos are other????” “When I was a child my pants were threadbare.” “Did you think that was going to resonate with me?” “Yes” “Why” “I thought you would think of me as a little boy with threadbare pants and you’d feel something, old man.”

[@connorlucas5035]

I actually missed this so much

[@jasperharvey6117]

This vid is more than taupe. It's other

[@dixiecronin7791]

If I Were You Episode 511: Shmuel's Rules, if you wanna give it a listen

[@smig_grig]

In just the first few seconds we can see that amir has made jake worse over the years

[@thomasfriedlander7208]

I'm very happy that Jake is a Ferrari man

[@OmniSzron]

I want more, goddamit!