Truth About My Childhood

[@keithcolegrove2924]

Wow Jake. What a story. I had no idea you survived such a childhood. It really made me feel so sad, that you had to experience such torment, as a child. You told the story well, and I can tell, every word is the truth. I totally understand your every emotion, as you deal with this. This really makes me love you more as a human being bud. You're a survivor.

[@jakeorion1993]

Thank you

[@easy6339]

I respect your honesty and your courage. Even though every bad thing happened to you,you made your way up and became a successful man.

[@TheSleeperMustAwaken]

I appreciate your authenticity more than I can say. I’ve followed you for years and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me/us. 🙏🏼

[@organchoirman9698]

My father was the same way with me. I could do nothing right. I never got an "atta boy" from him. It took me YEARS to learn how to ignore that from him. All the best. You are beautiful.

[@jakeorion1993]

Thank you . I'm sorry you went through that. You deserve better.

[@mreink6778]

I don't usually like to comment on people who can't defend themselves AND I'm a huge fan of yours so I'm hesitant to give my opinion as I don't want to hurt you but since you asked, I'll start with the positive. I think you are a beautiful man, inside and out. You are clearly scarred from your experiences, but have managed to cope amazingly well because you are an intelligent, rational, and kind human being that tries to keep a positive outlook on life. You have broken the cycle of emotional neglect and the inability to communicate with genuine love. I don't think therapy is warranted for you but there is nothing wrong with talking through things with someone to help reinforce your spirit. Sometimes having a good friend to vent to suffices. Unfortunately, the trauma will continue to perpetuate because you have chosen to actively keep your parents in your life because you romanticize what they could be to you and rationalize their behavior cause they ARE there for you on SOME levels. You would probably be content If they simply apologized for the past and explained they did the best they could despite being broken people but I don't know if that will ever happen. I do believe they love you as much as they can in their capacity but think they are essentially self absorbed people who cannot show wholehearted interest for others because they are prisoners of their own emotional or mental issues. They have been fighting since you were a child and are still together. It is so unhealthy to consider fighting normal behavior for a couple. That kind of relationship is based solely on comfort by complacency, obligation or fear of otherwise being alone. Now since I don't know them I could be wrong but when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and give someone so many different chances and openings to come through the door and see you for who you are and what you need and they don't make a concerted effort to meet you halfway, then that is someone I don't personally want in my life. But I'm only expressing an opinion and NOT suggesting what you need to do. I also think your sister is selfish but I disagree it has anything to do with having kids. Nobody should have a child if they are not fully prepared to place that human being at the forefront of their priority list so its probably for the best she wait for now. I'm sorry I typed so much but I felt compelled because I care about you. I'm happy to see how well you're doing despite your upbringing and for the joy your daughter brings to your life and how good a father you are trying to be. Have a blessed week, Jake! ❤

[@jakeorion1993]

Thank you, and I read every word and agree with a lot. I don't expect much from them besides what you mentioned. I don't need love and affection now from my parents. I make sure I live my life, and I will raise my child the way I believe is right.

[@selwynlawton7939]

Your Parents and Sibling are "toxic" they will never change and you need to walk away. They will always drag you down to their level because you are such a kind and considerate person. In life, we always just avoid and walk away from negative people who drag us down!!!!!

[@jakeorion1993]

I understand. I just try my best for family.

[@paulbarnhart210]

I get where you are coming from Jake, my dad was the same way with me growing up he hated me but loved my brother. My life was hell growing up.

[@zking2929]

This is a wild story, im sorry to hear about your relationship with your family. I definitely relate to not having a good familial relationship. I hope things get better for ya ❤

[@kaymillerfromTX]

This story was very sad to hear and sorry about your childhood. I’m relating a lot because my sister and I just recently had similar fights. She sounds a lot like your sister. She’s okay with or without family and has no interest in being close to my Dad. What I can say is after a lot of my own reflection, I do see how now I made things more tense and frustrating which pushed us away from each other for a while. So I do get your intent and motivation but Jake you have to stop and leave your sister alone. It doesn’t bother her at all, what bothers her is a pestering brother. I was that brother too. You and your Dad’d relationship is your own, not hers. Let her see your daughter whenever and however long and just cherish those times. She may grow back closer with you, you never know. But the more you bring up these topics around her, she definitely won’t be around. Maybe since we’re men things are different and deeper and I’m happy to have reconnected and gotten close to my Dad again idk if that will happen for you at least to the level you want as your Dad sounds emotionally closed off in general, but again I’d say don’t bring any of this stuff up anymore with him. Make every visit one of peace or he’ll never feel comfort there or want to stay. Let him be the best grandpa he can be. Many times parents will be nicer to grandparents subconsciously to avoid and mistakes with you, it’s normal and you shouldn’t bring it up to him. It sounds like he’s not a man of many words to begin with, I gather. You just have to let it build. And know it can hurt and don’t think you’re looking for attention. All sons needs their fathers. Hell, I thought my parents were conservative and closed off growing up but I’m learning so many children don’t even grow up hugging their parents from time to time or hearing an I love you, especiallg from Dadx who grew up in a time where any vulnerability of closeness was “gay” so you can’t expect that to change. I think he’s showing you in his own way that he loves you by trying to be there for your baby girl. If they didn’t love you, they would make no effort. You just can’t expect any emotions or apologies from them as much as it sucks. The good thing is you’ve recognized its effect on you so you can be a better Dad for your child and break that cycle. There’s a light at the end of this tunnel if you allow yourself to go through it. That also means you have to laugh or ignore his snide comments about your singing or any little thing. If you can, make it a joke or something just don’t roast him too hard and fight lol. You have to kinda treat this as a brand new friendship, a clean slate. Easier said than done, trust me, but I think if I can do it you definitely can too.

[@jakeorion1993]

Thank you . I have read every word and appreciate your opinion.

[@kgbourghs]

This is really a very hurt man. I now see him in a completely different way. Jake, I really hope you can find some consolation.

[@jakeorion1993]

Thank you so much

[@jakeorion1993]

I also pulled it up on my laptop I hear it fine!

[@reinanbrito114]

Boa noite jakeorion eu sou Brasil 🇧🇷Responde

[@viyau10]

Jake-o. I think many things about your story. I believe your father loves you. He has generational dysfunction and has not dealt with it well. Your sister and your mother are products of that. Your father has a lot of pain. Unfulfilled goals and dreams. What you need to do is talk to your father. Tell him you forgive him. It will liberate you. And it will liberate him. Tell him you love him and thank him for being a provider. The execution of that delivery of being provided is not perfect by any means. Then adapt to the reality that he may never change. This forgiveness will bring you peace and eventually your sister may hear about it and do it too. Additionally not to criticize your girlfriend but her saying she doesn’t respect your father should be taken back. She should be supportive of you without bringing your father or family down. Not saying she did it to be hurtful. And take all these lessons and use them to be the best man you can be.

[@pocket53]

Hi Jake, Create your own peace and make today better for YOU

[@davidwebster454]

Thanks for sharing! I can relate to a lot of what you talked about. You practically raised yourself and turned out a good man and father. Keep moving forward!

[@toberlorenz8784]

Talk about a toxic family. This really brings back shades of yesterday. I used Psychodrama as a way to finally see clear of the disaster of growing up. It does work, or at least I think it works.

[@jasonkaye4490]

Any idiot can have a child But it takes a special person to be a Parent.. It's all about personal choices and i respect others choices.

[@mariomachado4067]

So sorry you had to go through this.

[@jakeorion1993]

I'd like to also add that for craving attention and bothering my sister when I was just looking for attention. I was hit in the face, stacked on the butt and I was pulled by my hair.

[@enchantro]

Sounds good on this end!

[@Djdj-kd8ue]

You're wasting your breath on your parents & sister,stop inviting your parents over then complaining about how much $$$ U spent & them not bringing yr daughter a gift,they shouldn't be expected to bring her something Everytime they come over,that doesn't show yr daughter anything, that's spoiling the child to whenever they come by she expects a gift then starts throwing a tantrum wen they don't bring her something. You're not going to change your parents, just appreciate the time U do see them & forget the other things that can't be repaired/fixed

[@jakeorion1993]

1st, thank you for your input and opinion, as that's what I'm asking for. However, I do not expect my parents to buy her a gift every time. But they have been visiting for 2 years now and never have. You're missing the point. Doing things out of the bottom of your heart is a good thing. Every year, I take my parents out to dinner or give them a gift card and sometimes both.

[@jakeorion1993]

Also, the time I see them usually is a time of arguing or complaining. At this moment, I only allow my mother over. Who is great full for coming over and being away from my father.

[@wilfredmorin722]

I have 81 years of similar memories.

[@LisaHawley-nd4tm]

No one is perfect

[@jakeorion1993]

I understand, and yes, no one is perfect. It sounds like an excuse, and I never expect perfection.

[@KoalaBeer.]

Parents can be hard Jake, my dad was same but worse avoided me 20yrs then died 3 months ago, didn’t even tell me he was sick.. He moved to Bali and I didn’t even know, I just try to be happy with the ppl that do care. I hope things improve least you communicate which is good. Also nothing I did was good enough as a kid , shame really I just feel sad for them not me. I also feel boys have it harder than the girls not sure why maybe I’m wrong.

[@jakeorion1993]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Maybe in the 90s parents were just different then they're now.

[@crisscunningham-ku8lh]

Hey your father or mother are not your friends they are your parents honey you need to go to therapy you have a lot of family issues go to therapy for you and not for your family your good person and your adult stop feeling sorry for yourself and go to therapy I’m sorry if I sound rude and harsh you know me talk to other people or therapy love ya criss

[@KitKat-rd7nt]

I only saw the beginning where he says that if you are financially stable and you don't want a kid that thats selfish. now im not trying to bash anyone who has this thinking, but can i ask what is the thinking behind it? that you HAVE to have children? first of all it takes a lot of time and energy not just money to have children, you have to put basically your whole life on hold, and if thats considered selfish then i dont understand the world we are living in. do you understand what a messed up world we are in, i think people who do have children are selfish. because they have to have someone to carry on their name, its stupid, what are you contributing to society by having children?

[@KitKat-rd7nt]

About your dad, ok wow, it sounds like he and your mom both need to see individual therapists, plus a therapist together to work out their issues.

[@3BuckHead]

I can hear just fine

[@AlphonsodeBarbo]

You would be a cherished son at my place!

[@mikesworldduh]

Where is the sound

[@jakeorion1993]

I hear it and it's working fine for me. That's strange.

[@michaelburton1924]

Could you please get ur dogs some play toys and chewey bones ? I think they’re bored and need some cheering up🤷🏽‍♂️

[@highvibrational2007]

okay.... I am not a therapist... but your sister is more emotionally stable and accepting of reality. Based on your perspective, I conclude, 1. Sister is distant because your family dynamic is toxic. Her husband who is an outsider has sided with his wife, and their relationship sounds healthy. 2. You have not accepted the fact that your parents have no need to change and are not willing to change to be close to their kids. Your sister has. accepted, so do not want to relate. 3. You need to go to therapy to figure out why as an adult you cannot accept that you cannot get back your childhood. It makes perfect sense that the grandparents want to rectify this by doing right by the grandchild, not the child. 4. Your sister painfully sees this if I do. Why would she want to have a strong relationship with you when you constantly trying to get something from your parent that they are simply not capable of giving? She would love to visit her niece, but ultimately I even can tell that you cannot just love and appreciate your sister without bringing up your parents. You should create "no talking about parents or childhood" rule. I would act the same way as your sister, too. 5. Because of the toxic family dynamics, many people have an understanding that they do not have the basic parenting skills to have a child. MUCH RESPECT TO YOUR SISTER. You ever thought that she understands that she is not capable of having a healthy mothering instinct to have a kid. In actuality, you are the one who is being selfish. You want your sister to have kids...for you to build a family network. It's kinda slow key misogynist. She clearly has found a significant other who adores her and is her friend. 6. That leads to why she insists on her husband coming with her when dealing with her family. He is there to help her maintain emotional health. If you do not have ulterior motives and you really want your sister to have a close relationship with her niece, then you should acknowledge how important her relationship is to her, and go out of your way to invite them BOTH to events that YOU and your daughter ONLY can share. If her husband does not like you for whatever reason, figure out a way to converse over specific topics ONLY. 7. "When someone tells you who they are, believe them!" Your father has on many occasions just in this video acknowledged that he loves you; he does not like you. and that is actually normal and okay. why would you want to be friends with this guy? He doesn't even want to be friends with himself....lol 8. Now this explains why your ex keeps her distance. You have a difficult time letting the past be the past. I love you Jake but the common denominator in all of this is YOU. Your family is keeping their distance from YOU. Please see the right therapist or psychologist. You are such a great guy.... you deserve to give you that gift of understanding, and you are still young enough to build a happy life.

[@jakeorion1993]

A lot of this is very hurtful. You are entitled to your own opinion. I never tried or attempted to talk about my parents with my sister when visiting her niece. Any time she has visited her niece, my parents were also here. Thank you for your opinion.

[@jakeorion1993]

If my parents don't want to change, that is okay. I would not force someone to change. However, the way they raised me wasn't right in my eye or by my definition. That's okay as we learn, adapt, and move on. I don't sit here and blame my parents for who I am today like I stated because I like who I am. As someone who grew up not eating at the same table with his entire family, I long to make my family an actual family. I don't see the bad in that. I'm sorry.

[@highvibrational2007]

@@jakeorion1993 That is a beautiful goal, Jake. However, the people you love around you have their own family values that may not gel with yours. What is definitely salvageable is the relationship between you and your sister, but definitely have to not bring your parents into it. When around your sister, keep your parents out of your mouth because that seems to be triggering to her, okay. If you insist on doing that, I can see that your sister will bond with your daughter once she is a teenager and can make her own choices. That's what I did with my neices and nephews. The moment my mother wants to join, sorry ....i am booked and busy. Don't have time for the negativity.....lol

[@highvibrational2007]

@@jakeorion1993 A lot of what I said was said with love from a stranger, Jake. You know your sister's relationship is strained, so why would you just set up a playtime or event with your sister WITHOUT the presence of your parents. It will speak that you value her feelings. Did you even suggest that option to your sister? Clearly not, my point is valid because she is not trying to connect more.

[@jakeorion1993]

@highvibrational2007 I have invited her over. She makes it clear she wants to see everyone. When I asked to be invited to her home. She just makes excuses. I feel she doesn't want my daughter at her house touching things.

[@jasonmurray3976]

I'd love to hear what you're saying, but there's no sound

[@mikesworldduh]

Good I'm not the only one I thought my Samsung galaxy pro buds 2 were tripping

[@jakeorion1993]

I hear it and it's working fine. Try refreshing.

[@enchantro]

Sounds fine on this end.

[@leazer44]

Wow! Just wow! First of all the click bait for this video is just awful! You know your audience and that was just shameful. Next, after watching this rant I have to agree with your father. So what if you think you had an aweful childhood. Boohoo! Most of us had not so great childhoods! It’s a fact of life. You weren’t promised anything! But at least you had a roof over your shoulders and food to eat and weren’t living on the streets! Continue therapy and get over it. If you continue to live in the past it will continue to haunt you. Imagine in 20 years if your daughter was on social media blasting you for your choices in life and was embarrassed or ashamed about what you did to provide her a good life! Would you want that for her too?

[@jakeorion1993]

Lol. Doing what you have to do in order to take care of your child isn't wrong. Nor have I shamed my dad for his occupation. Sorry you didn't have a good childhood. No child has asked to be brought into this world. So, I believe they deserve an amazing childhood. My daughter will never shame me because I was doing my absolute best to be the best parent I can be. Sorry that you sound sound so bitter and truly wish you the best.

[@kaymillerfromTX]

What click bait? Do you know what that term even means, because the title is accurate. You did f have to watch or give advice if you don’t want to, no big deal but why leave a nasty comment that helps no one! Or was it him speaking about his father that triggered you since a lot of oldy and moldy Kweens don’t have in your own lives because he’s “tOXic maSc”? 😅 geez.

[@acalla]

Duuuude, you can't force a guy to have kids if they don't want to, that's not okay, sorry

[@higuy6717]

I have to add: "let it go." you keep hanging on to something you can't change. not all parents are meant to be parents. period. and nothing you say or do will ever make them good parents. your goal should be trying to be the best parent YOU can be. in the meantime, just forgive your parents for whatever wrongs you feel they did to you. again... LET IT GO. life is too short to hang on to these things. some people will go to their grave without ever acknowledging, apologizing, or being accountable. and then they die. can you change that? no. accept that this is just who they are. ACCEPT WHO THEY ARE. you have this list of grievances that may never get resolved. so are you just going to hang on to this forever? forget it. let it go. accept the good for the good, and the bad for the bad. relax, and move on.

[@higuy6717]

jake, do you realize that most dads are like this? they just yell shut up to all the kids because they just want to be left alone. men aren't nurturing and soft. that's what moms are for. your childhood is pretty typical. you need to give your dad a break. most men have a tough exterior. you were looking for your dad (30 years ago) to be a modern dad of today, who are helicopter parenting. that's unrealistic. each generation should get better at parenting, but you just have to understand how your parents were raised, and forgive them for their mistakes. no one is perfect.