James Acasters Card Reads! | Would I Lie To You?

[@josemaria8177]

James Acaster and Bob Mortimer are two trickster gods from mythology that got bored and decided to be comedians in the UK. Driving David Mitchell to the edge of insanity is a nice bonus

[@balok63a40]

Also Claudia Winkleman, who has an amazing ability to tell true stories as if she's making them up as she goes along.

[@brendanberry7403]

Shame he didn’t save any of those powers to keep him from having a breakdown on celebrity bake off lol.

[@crappymcdick]

What is this referring to?

[@talljoke]

​@brendanberry7403 gods are no match for the stress of bake-off

[@somanyadav2036]

They are so great! But don't forget Kevin Bridges and Claudia Winkleman... Miles Jupp also can't be ignored XD

[@chillermiller3565]

i love the implication that david thought the basingstoke story would be more credible if james could remember the shape of the leaves on the bush

[@CrumbsLamond]

More likely he thought it would be less likely to be true if James described the leaves. If this had been a lie, James going into detail about the leaves would've led David to believing its a lie because most people aren't going to remember such trivial details like that

[@zreed545]

David was checking to see if the leaves were waxy, if they were they would have also been sharp and pokey, which would have prompted further questions about comfortabilty and bush selection.

[@chillermiller3565]

@@zreed545 ​ @CrumbsLamond these are both excellent points

[@hartspot7418]

@@zreed545which would lead him to further believing the bench would be a better choice.

[@0That_Guy0]

Watching Lee appreciate Acaster’s joke just makes me smile.

[@midgarw6775]

@@jonhohensee3258 I got the impression he doesn't like James

[@UnknownOneNineTwo]

@@midgarw6775 yea, quite cold towards him

[@rinesserin]

@@jonhohensee3258 I never would have picked up on that, but after reading this comment, I noticed that he didn't really laugh at all at anything James said.

[@calidofrio13]

@@midgarw6775 he literally loves him. he looks at him like "my kind of comedy will continue into the future"

[@martin-pz6ds]

@@UnknownOneNineTwo i think he was just appreciating and letting James shine

[@stilts121]

I love Lees reaction to the “high” retort from James. I could totally hear Lee doing that.

[@sweeeenay]

The quickness of the "good thing this didn't happen to Melvin" comment, so damn good. You can't doubt that this man has done anything

[@schlitt88]

That 'Seven swans a swimming' line was so incredibly quick witted

[@keeskameel1056]

Would you explain, as a non-english I don't get it?

[@lfcmatt]

​@@keeskameel1056 @mattskidmore8131 Same here

[@roygevers]

@@keeskameel1056 Uit het bekende kerstnummer 'Twelve Days of Christmas', de zevende dag.

[@CalebDBarnes]

​@@keeskameel1056 It's a line in the song "the twelve days of Christmas"

[@benmaxwell115]

Honestly, his family were very religious, this might not even be a lie, it's hard to tell.

[@elijahsmith4741]

James has said that he had to stop telling true stories in standup because the audience thought he was lying and so didn’t find it funny and I think his wilty stories prove that because they’re always true but just sound so crazy!

[@pineapplesandjellies]

He's got an autobiography called Classic Scrapes and it's just loads of stories of bizarre things that have happened to him, it's brilliant.

[@workedfriday]

oooo thank you for this - gonna add to my booklist@@pineapplesandjellies

[@EatinPaste]

Which is fine to tbh. That whole Pat Springleaf bit Repertoire was golden!

[@devoarco]

You have to factor in his great way of telling the stories that make them look even more absurd than they already are. If someone else told them they wouldn't be so unbelievable. E.g. framing the group swim to be a planned event by his father and not a coincidence that he told them about the presents there

[@saidtheactress]

Great stories but nothing beats “Mick and the cabbages”.

[@margaretflounders8510]

Mick asleep in bush does...

[@tarabelle6223]

🎉 Mick, his evil nemesis is the funniest story ever on WILTY...& that is saying something!

[@alrightlove6317]

I HATE THIS BOY

[@Multi1163]

Hoy Hoy Savoy

[@BobDenton-of4fw]

The best "this is my" story ever.

[@nicosmind3]

Im always amazed that people say "that doesnt make sense" on multiple stories (not just James) and the story ends up being true!

[@RedAlien13]

Honestly they need to read Classic Scrapes, his book, that has all sorts of things that have happened to him

[@john-paulgies4313]

My absolute favorite part is James' reaction to the word 'variegated'. First his whole verbal train of thought gets spectacularly derailed, leading to his cognition/recollection of it being so broad that 'gentrifiied' is a synonym.

[@giveawormaspine]

I love the fact that James has never lied on this show

[@bravetherainbow]

0:54 James' smile here before answering, he's so pleased to get this opportunity to parrot Fred's words back to him

[@genevieve3467]

I would love to get James on a DnD actual play series because the way he paints pictures with his storytelling is incredible

[@hada__02]

James on the next series of D20 please

[@beanie7547]

James and Bob have the best life’s stories.

[@panda4247]

And both have stories - including haircuts - including sleeping in an unusual place with something on you head looking weird

[@beanie7547]

@@panda4247 I suppose we should include Greg in this too

[@beanie7547]

@@jonhohensee3258 Henning had some good ones for sure “it’s German sense of humour”

[@midgarw6775]

Dont forget Rob Gilbert

[@HinekoAkahi]

Love how everyone heard "James Acaster slept in a bush" and went "Yes, truth, absolutely, no further questions, Your Honour" xDDD Has the man actually ever told a lie on this show?

[@donjones4719]

James has such improbable stories and he's also good at bluffing, looking like he's making up a sentence as he says it. His cabbage story was absolutely absurd. (Go look for it, it's hilarious.)

[@anotheruserism]

problem with the cabbage story is mick couldn't keep a straight face

[@donjones4719]

@@anotheruserism To me that added to the entertainment value - and he could have just been laughing at how funny James sounded.

[@capcompass9298]

@@anotheruserism Who could?

[@tattgka]

years later and I still can’t understand how Melvin thinks a bench is warmer than a bush 😂

[@RainbowSunshineRain]

It is warmer, because the ground is cold.

[@alexsevern1260]

@@RainbowSunshineRainbut the bush is insulated. A bench is open

[@travelwell6049]

because it isn’t 😂

[@nekomochi486]

Besides, a bench is made of metal that goes cold in the night.

[@justforthis3208]

A bench in a bush.

[@justVontadeh]

"Unplugged session" sent me

[@BeccaB529]

Me: 😞 “Oh, I have already heard this one.” Me a few minutes later: 😂 “It is funnier every time!”

[@michaelwilliams8242]

Same haha. Could listen to these stories a thousand times

[@thehellyousay]

"it was an adventure", says the man who has only ever used one side of a cheese grater ...

[@cijmo]

I didn't think James' first one was so unbelievable. (I love the 'acoustic haircut' though.)

[@pizzakrydder2515]

Have they never seen anyone getting their hair cut by a friend?? In my world that is almost as common as going to a hairdresser.

[@rebekahtablante327]

The “sideways mullet” description was perfect 😆

[@whatlez]

Bloody hell, James is just a comedy genius.

[@kelsk889]

James has such crazy stories, he doesn’t need to lie.

[@avacadoinacan]

I want to live my life like Lily Allen watching James Acaster.

[@axedpumkin9541]

Is that Lily Allen? When did she start painting herself orange?

[@pineapplesandjellies]

Every time I'm at Basingstoke station I'm reminded of this story.

[@marineideoliveira8800]

I went on street view to look for it, is it by the side of Alençon Link?

[@Maderyne]

James Acaster's best is the "This is my" episode with Mick. Cabbage anyone?

[@ashc151]

When he said he wasn't home and had to go to the post office to collect it was one of the funniest moment of the show, ever!

[@georgecarter4517]

Anyone from Basingstoke knows the exact spot he is talking about 😂

[@oliverpalmer3088]

Imagine being so posh, you can’t comprehend why you would have your haircut outside the front of your flat

[@calidofrio13]

The way Lee looks at him, marveled at how good he is 🤩🤩

[@JustSumGeek]

Happy birthday to James Acaster turning 39 yesterday!

[@margaretflounders8510]

NO! He still looks 20!

[@vulkanac47]

and acts 12

[@grointastic4242]

I know exactly where that was and the leaves are definitely gentrified

[@marineideoliveira8800]

I went on street view to look for it, is it by the side of Alençon Link?

[@ivanj.conway9919]

Oh My Lord, this guy is priceless at this. He's going to make me piss myself yet. Comedy gold, without a doubt.

[@travelwell6049]

5:42 I think it was hard for the people from a privileged background to understand that James’ Dad isn’t buying two of the exact album 💿

[@disavowalf3351]

Yeah, in the 90s in Leeds my flat mate asked me to cut his hair (with scissors) cos I’d done my own braided hair extensions & had a degree in Fine Art (apparently that makes you a qualified hairdresser!!!!). I said I wouldn’t be able to do a good job, he said he trusted me; I said that’s nice but I can’t cut hair, he said he trusted me…so I did it! As it turns out, I was very much right, it was a total balls up! Boys, don’t imagine women can cut hair just cos they can style their own!!!

[@DomenBremecXCVI]

You can't start a story with "In the 90's..." and not expect to blow your cover, Mr. Wehn.

[@malahammer]

@@DomenBremecXCVI feck.....I wanted to say that :)

[@disavowalf3351]

@@DomenBremecXCVI haha, I’m not sure why I included that detail…I think it was cos I keep reading crap that older people (I’m 50) don’t like Mr Acaster and I find him hilarious…or perhaps I’ve been watching too many WILTY clips…hmmm…not that it’s possible to watch too many of those. Take care, stay safe🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿❤️

[@DarylShires]

@@disavowalf3351I’m 61, bowling-ball bald (but with a LOT of haircut misadventures from … ooh, last century 😖) and can’t get enough James Acaster. Brilliant, sharpest wit-awareness and perfectly absurd mind/processes. A living, breathing tonic. Cheers to you all from an Australian whose family were all Scots 🇦🇺🦘🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@seventhsteel1415]

Thinking the haircut story is a lie because they used scissors is….uh….I don’t even know

[@travelwell6049]

I once cut my housemate’s hair when we were at university just using a regular pair of scissors. I just trimmed it. It was fine.

[@Leatherman154]

James, Bob, Claudia, and Lucy. WILTY greatest guests of all time.

[@iWhacko]

please bring James back more often

[@largepimping]

Holy crap... I thought there was only one James Acaster, but according to this video's title, there are multiple. Good to know.

[@johnp515]

Yeah, It makes me sick when people forget to add an apostrophe. If it happens again I’ll be ill.

[@largepimping]

@@johnp515 If you are trying to compete with me for the title of Who Is Angriest About This, you're going to lose.

[@johnp515]

@@largepimpingNo not angry, just shamelessly regurgitating an old chestnut

[@johnp515]

@@largepimping😊

[@largepimping]

​@@fdsfsd-i1t Just when I thought I couldn't be any more angry... The irony!

[@louisaawre5389]

Things with james is that he is so mad that his stories always seem like lies but they are actually true

[@97texascat]

Love these stories no matter how many times I hear them, although the first one I’ve never heard before.

[@ScubaFanatic60]

My college roommate used to cut hair for a bunch of us . She didn't have any training either, but she was cheap!

[@I1S1337]

i never get bored of James' story of sleeping in a bush

[@tiang5132]

Acoustic Haircut (Unplugged Session) - James Acaster ft. James’ friend

[@sarahfaith6531]

The story about spice girls was my first time ever seeing WILTY and I became such a massive fan of the show after that! Such a great story and wonderful series 🤣👍👍👍

[@deach5254]

There will come a day when James will lie, and it will be some so true like "I'm sitting here." And we will be all floored.

[@Gandythegoblin]

I wonder when he slept in the bushes? I used to live next to Basingstoke train station. Would be fun to think I walked past during that lol

[@bravetherainbow]

David knows James' tricks. He asks for the story, James is about to just repeat the words on the card near-verbatim, and then David realises he needs to cut him off before that happens.

[@jamesklebenow6885]

I love how James can make a true story sound like BS as he’s telling it.

[@colmastro4373]

His Wit is almost ass quick as Lee Mack's lol, quite impressive 😂

[@ALQAMARQURAN]

true, but i think james's quality of jokes is better. Lee does too many puns.

[@PtylerBeats]

The fact that Melvin only couldn’t believe the bush story because he thought a bench would be warmer is hilarious

[@georgeh5075]

The fact these rich people can't think you wouldn't be able to afford a haircut is hilarious

[@jazmindodds]

"Why not go to a luxury hotel?"

[@Hhammer]

Lee appreciating James’ high joke was great. It’s 100% a Lee joke

[@m444ss]

nothing is too crazy to have happened to James Acaster

[@SyntheticFuture]

The Spice Girls story is just too good 😂

[@NYSports14]

Never understood during the Spice Girls discussion how it never came up that they could both just listen to the same album

[@aislingbolton793]

It might have but got cut out in the edit

[@Kniesoor]

Siblings amd sharing? Yeah right.

[@Gareth-410]

I think that's the implication - that the parents felt buying two of the same thing was daft when they could just share, but as siblings they both wanted their own copy.

[@peterconnolly76]

James is a young version of Lee 😂

[@johnh1252]

The good players make this show so much better. More Lucy Beaumont pls.

[@daedalus_20v]

When is a bench _ever_ warmer than a bush?

[@olan1225]

He was probably thinking that a bench would get you of the ground, which is where most of your body heat is lost to. Or maybe not and he's just playing daft.

[@markreynolds1436]

Hence the saying...🤷‍♂️

[@RainbowSunshineRain]

A bench is warmer because the ground is cold. Plus more comfortable, too many insects on the ground.

[@jpaxonreyes]

A bench is a big heat sink and will pull heat away from you quickly. If the bush can offer you a layer of substrate, then it'll keep you more insulated from the ground while also blocking the wind.

[@dbreardon]

When James tells his stories you can really tell where a lot of the panelists grew up in afluents or had never had a real struggle with money throughout their life.

[@joostdemoor138]

It's lovely to know that James' real life resembles that of his character

[@franziskafinefein]

storming of at the shallow end shouting "I'm very cross" will never not make me laugh

[@stefansauvageonwhat-a-twis1369]

The stories, they sounded so much like how weird life just is sometimes like the kind of real story thats I could have, not that weird, but not usual

[@Pixiesarereal]

I absolutely love James 😍

[@DrTomoculus]

JAMES ALWAYS TELLS THE TRUTH!

[@TheeChrisM]

I would watch James all day. More James

[@miriam4235]

I'm confused, why is using scissors for a haircut a weird thing?🤔😅 😂

[@davidsuttie4192]

The more I see James the more I think he is a comic genius.

[@84Elenai]

04:14 this one is such a gem

[@Bedonkabonk]

For me, 50% to 60% of why James is funny has to do with his accent and that he sounds like his nose has been stopped up so long he's decided he just has to live with it. Is it because I'm American, or do Brits also find his particular accent amusing?

[@nicolad8822]

Yes it is a bit comical in itself, sure he exaggerates it. He puts Ws in words like ‘fwiend’ which sounds a bit childlike and faux innocent.

[@wbfaulk]

FWIW, it's almost certainly a put-on. If you search on KZbin for "James Acaster One Night Stand", you'll find a recording of a show pretty early in his career and he sounds very different. There's elements of this accent in it, but it's much more normal. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe the "normal" accent was the put-on.

[@juliadandy6019]

The Spice Girls one!! I watch it everytime! "The Spice Girls debut album 'Spice'"

[@332tube]

12:59 Someone did dump a body at Basingstoke train station.

[@LKKSProductions]

James always has the most ridiculous true stories 😂

[@scully47]

They need to have James on more often. I’m sure he has more weird stories.

[@scbtripwire]

Following the "Stop right now" jokes I kept saying "thank you very much" to my phone, the joke is right there, guys! How what's-it could think a bench is warmer baffles me... at least a bush would break the wind to some degree.

[@travelwell6049]

[8:14] My favourite joke on WILTY

[@daniellepearsall4978]

Good lord I love James Acaster ROFL

[@brianwilliams766]

It tells you everything you need to know about someone's posh life growing up when they can't even fathom how the first story is possible, that someone would be in a position to consider a flat mate cutting your hair a fiscally responsible option.

[@trustjah]

"No he really really wanted it" ..."stop". 😅😂🤣💀😇

[@neiljosephbennett9119]

So funny! Pity they sometimes babble and we have to rely on the crappy subtitles, which also don't always get it right.

[@xelumbra]

As we know James’ life is just a series of wild shenanigans that sound made up.

[@GxRedemption]

an artist and a genius, James.

[@bern730]

what year is this?

[@ivydickson7596]

Have you heard Greg Davies and his school stories? Especially the one about his mother's underwear.

[@lisamortini8567]

And the one about the microphone!

[@danyellx615]

I love James

[@thisismyhandleyouknow]

What does he say at 5:06?

[@scottbrown3884]

Who's your friend?big ears

[@gregdavis6335]

The older guy on David's team is called Noddy. Earlier in the episode, Lee said, "Who's your friend big ears?" This makes the statement funny because they edited this bit out on this video, so it looks like James thought of the line- Linking it nicely to what Lee was just saying. 😅

[@misterdarren3622]

James Acaster is 2nd only to Bob Mortimer on WILTY.

[@suedireen3993]

I could never understand the guy thinking a bench was warmer or safer.

[@kelzuya]

Oti & Lily 😍😍😍

[@NxDoyle]

I'd have gone with lie because of the scissors. Why would you let a rando non-barber/hairdresser come at you with scissors? Then I asked the question: Have you ever seen James Acaster with a _good_ haircut?

[@allandalegibson1194]

Just a note, they give James the gears for wanting The Spice Girls album, and then they reference the album so they have obviously listened to it.

[@ijazkhan3335]

If James acaster was born in 60s, he would have a lot more stories to tell like bob 😅

[@sarahfaith6531]

Has he been on recently? Needs to come back :)

[@ruthgoh4869]

James has the best stories 😂 I wish I could marry him. So cute and funny

[@chrishoole8062]

Ooo, he card read good

[@shnad9880]

Can someone explain the "who's your friend big ears" joke please

[@rareimer]

Enid Blyton wrote a series of children's books, very popular in the UK if not so well known elsewhere, about a puppet named Noddy who comes to life. His best friend is a gnome named Big Ears. James Acaster is here conflating the character Noddy and the actual man Noddy for the sake of a joke.

[@anthonytalbot6002]

It was right after they were joking about stealing each others jokes in the edit,the noddy/big ears joke was from earlier in the episode so he was trying to steal it

[@ayo8534]

@@rareimer i scrolled so far for an explanation, god bless you and Enid blyton

[@TheShortGirl666]

James' life has just been a series of odd hilarity

[@alexdewh]

Dunno whats unbelievable about flatmates cutting your hair with scissors, I let mine have a go, far cheaper and it tends to look at worst a 4/10

[@TangoDelta8111]

These people have had the weirdest lives! 😮😅

[@rooty]

If you like this, you have to watch the compilation of every Classic Scrapes segment he did on radio. It's like several series of WILTY, all James, and all true.

[@SreaminToTheVoid]

The endings of some of these are giving me strong "Fact or Fiction" vibes. Did this happen? Yes. It's true. .... Moving on!