James struggles to buy a Christmas tree - Mock the Week: Christmas 2017 - BBC

[@sfshinz]

"And I saw they were all sad, and I was like...ah, fuck 'em". James' best scrapes seem to involve children.

[@shakesfirst2443]

And plant life.

[@bettysbois1919]

And lasagne

[@mersedmuratovic3819]

yeah I still remember his nemesis and cabage story.

[@TomMerson]

"And then I stole his lasagna" gets me every time

[@rajiv2612]

This story will someday show up on would I lie to you.

[@moodini99]

Good call. Nice comment

[@mardanhar82]

Rajiv Chidambaram yes! This is Mike. Is he...the man that stole a Christmas tree from James.....

[@itsdandy]

which episode is it? i can’t find it anywhere

[@thedunyadoneya2628]

ItsDandy he said "will someday". I.e. in the future. I think james has only appeared once on WILTY, this wasn't on there

[@austincross3001]

"And then I stole his lasagna" is simply a fucking amazing way to end any story, even if you haven't mentioned lasagna beforehand.

[@miaclarke6489]

“...And then I stole his lasagna” “Cold lasagna is the best food in the world!...” Hahaha imagine those stories are linked😂

[@Wookie_oo7]

Pretty sure that cold lasagna mean it was coked first. Not that he won a victory over his tree and then nicked the blokes lasagna and then fanged back to his car to mung down on it as a sort of victory lap.

[@TylerMcCarter]

Well he said he was at Budgens here, and the cold lasagna was from Sainsbury so I think he just really likes lasagna

[@SpirusOfH]

Where's the cold lasagna line from? I wondered where he got the title for his new special, but hadn't heard that bit before.

[@garasunonamida]

the way he says "no, that's not my lasagna" gets me every time

[@samwain5073]

God damn I love these lasagnes

[@qsharaf3933]

Sam Wain HAHAHA

[@Shrike12]

I love to manger them !

[@Munki]

Some people are not ready to eat lasagnes.

[@u_idiotkid425]

LMAOOO

[@nosoros]

Which of the following is a sentence said by Winston Churchill

[@Jacob_Roberts]

I can visualize everything you describe in my mind's eye. You paint beautiful word pictures 👍👍👍.

[@jean-claudefrancoisbaroudd730]

Poor robert nichols...

[@Jacob_Roberts]

I think I'm missing something. Who is Robert Nichols? Is he the guy telling the story?

[@jean-claudefrancoisbaroudd730]

He's a guy who commented about the exact same thing as you... Does this link go to his comment ? kzbin.info/www/bejne/iGjagoR-bdOgn9k

[@jean-claudefrancoisbaroudd730]

Woops nope.. That's something else, soorraaaay !

[@cookeay]

no thats james acaster

[@chakraherlaut5389]

This man could be the next Bob Mortimer, the way they weirdly telling funny stories.

[@SchrodingersCatalyst]

classic scrape

[@maxdecphoenix]

This kid is great. Great orator. Great comedian.

[@lizard1533]

I have a new Christmas tradition of watching this relentlessly every Christmas

[@xXChipsAndGravyXx]

Ngl the man who stole the tree had some pretty sweet one liners too

[@justaguy6544]

James Acaster is the best!

[@islot40]

That's a darn funny story LOL.

[@briansammond7801]

With a story like this, I began to imagine James Acaster as Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, all grown up.

[@thanks8589]

Oh my gosh...

[@amyrice1844]

I think you've cracked the secret...

[@DK_Son]

Haha I pictured everything he said. I mumbled "fuck em" to myself just before he said it too. One of my favourite comedians by far. His descriptions and delivery is spot on.

[@lily-may1056]

Properrrrrr handsome

[@professorbaxtercarelessdre1075]

Hi, umm, I think you're very pretty, that's all, hope its ok for me to say that. ok bye

[@hannahkinton8930]

I can tell I'm getting PMS because I literally just had to stop myself from bawling my eyes out on behalf of the children whilst laughing hysterically

[@harrydundee641]

ew

[@hannahkinton8930]

@@harrydundee641 grow up?

[@hannahkinton8930]

@@harrydundee641 grow up?

[@abhyudaykrishna9714]

@@harrydundee641 grow up?

[@amandariviera]

I can't help but feel that the store needs better signage.

[@you996]

Its a joke.

[@alekaidon1364]

You no it's a real anecdote. Listen to his classic scrapes

[@David-ud9ju]

*signs. There's no such word as signage; that isn't proper wordage and is incorrect grammarage, so you should probably learn correct Englishage.

[@alekaidon1364]

David type 'define signage' into Google and you will find that it is indeed a word. Don't make a fool of yourself online...

[@CarolSimion]

@@David-ud9ju You're wrong, but in a very funny way

[@littlemisssunshine874]

I love James.... is he single???....such a funny down to earth guy! 😊😊

[@justaguyyy]

Well, I suppose you're just going to have to ask him yourself?

[@wildcrocus]

Rowan Atkinson stole James' girl. True story.

[@rootkite]

This is one of the best short stories I've ever heard. Long live Acaster.

[@dezignateddriva]

"..and while the father was busy wiping away his children's tears, I STOLE the LASAGNE !

[@kinsmed]

"...and everybody agreed, it was the best Christmas ever."

[@nefwaenre]

Ah from his classic scrapes!! Love him and his stories so much!!

[@superneko99]

i love this man

[@MrKushinator420]

How does the universe manage to make a man like this, and put him in the funniest situations ever?

[@stephenconway2468]

James is one of a kind and that's a good kind too....in case someone was wondering

[@stoolpigeon4285]

everything seems to get everyone every time here. Noticing that gets me every time

[@dino-nq4kh]

i love him

[@nigelbond4056]

Awesome Acaster 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nlg6495]

He is a genius

[@theoriginalchefboyoboy6025]

"... and is this your cabbage as well? Did you take the bar code off my cabbage?"

[@ljdgooners9041]

Great story!! You really are a funny bloke! I felt as if I was there at budgens with you 😂😂

[@luuketaylor]

I've come to love James in the last few months that I've got to know him through KZbin. Great sense of humo(u)r.

[@jakewing6830]

Aaahhhm fuckem....😂😂😂

[@siofrarafferty3821]

fuckin love james acaster

[@moodini99]

Ivo Graham and James Acaster on the same show. Must have been a good one.

[@NeonAtary777]

Favorite comedian 😂

[@Yeah_Whocares]

Aww KZbin is brought out the christmas reruns to try to get us in the mood.

[@헬렌-v2m]

I saw they were all sad, and I was like, ah... fuck ‘em

[@Jake-vy2bh]

Just read his book. Very funny but nowhere near the level of hilarity when hearing him tell them, his intonations, quirky voice and mannerisms, nobody else like him!

[@Blorps0_0]

Check out the audiobook version, it's read by himself

[@stuartscott6041]

Just checking you did t steal the barcode of my lasagna😂😂😂😂

[@blondelmellissa7911]

Now I want lasagna

[@plymko900]

You paint beautiful word pictures. I can visualize everything you describe in my mind's eye

[@Crlarl]

I can't believe James Acaster is a real person.

[@farje1]

I feel like eating Italian food in a forest now.

[@JessikaBean]

Interesting and cool

[@cor8129]

Really Funny :-)

[@GRF_DB]

And i was like aaaaah...fuck em.

[@timdavis9566]

Best story the ever.😄🎄🎁👶✊🍛🚶🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

[@mattbixley6233]

Savage

[@timdavis9566]

I just watched his early career,he's matured a lot, much more confident now. Love that line about looking at the two young kids- Aaah, fuck em!😆👶p.s.-I love children,but that was funny!👶😳

[@ScoreFromAugusta]

He should do stand-up comedy!

[@archiechisnall4103]

ScoreFromAugusta look on Netflix

[@vectoredthrust5214]

I feel for the kids, I really do for seeing that. But their dad's an idiot and could've just simply apologised for a misunderstanding and given the tree back and taken the barcode off another one. You know, like a normal person

[@funbergrundberg8494]

He should have, but he had reason for no wanting to give up that tree. James told this story on a podcast in more detail and said that all the other trees left were horrible, that was the last good one.

[@hermityt1]

But then we wouldn't have this brilliant story XD

[@4Y0P]

morbid but necessary

[@thegoombrat8198]

On the bright side at least they had lasagne.

[@nerdychocobo]

What do you expect him to apologise for his lasagne too?

[@nlg6495]

I can't look at him without wanting to kiss him

[@lewist7576]

Cool

[@cassandraalastair7179]

What a GUAPO!!

[@ianxltd]

Still good one month on 😁

[@jblfandom289]

Cool and interesting

[@Smirey0]

Interesting

[@buggyboogle9]

This only works because James Acastsr is telling the story.

[@abu-175]

And then I stole his lasagne.

[@Tamashi88]

....Cold Lasagna Hate Myself 1999??

[@kalenzypie]

Wow im actually having lasagna right now

[@Pwwh0711]

Alanis Morrisette could use that in one of her songs! All hail Ed Byrne

[@carveylover]

Another classic scrape from James.

[@againagain394]

Ohio

[@mistypoke6347]

The domineering lace pathophysiologically collect because refund histologically scorch given a alluring fedelini. hideous high, bent soap

[@marcuscross8051]

This is a moderately amusing joke. I wonder how much of it is true.

[@marcuscross8051]

@@LukasOfTheLight It was meant to sound pretentious. I was just amusing myself really, not particularly intending to look smart. Besides, if I was looking to impress other people by trying to look smart, the KZbin comments section is hardly the best place to do that.

[@zakl940]

@@marcuscross8051 I’m somewhat confused, why would your comment sound pretentious? Anyway regarding its original purpose I understand you can read his book ‘James Acaster’s classic scrapes’ which I believe has a more accurate recount of the story based on what I’ve read from other commenters.

[@somebodyelse714]

James Acaster is yet to say anything funny whilst beng filmed.

[@dankirk4186]

You have cancer

[@David-ud9ju]

Allan Gobey What are you talking about? He's probably the funniest comedian working today.

[@moodini99]

You're a gay egg. Acaster is hilarious

[@vickiscaglione7116]

I love this lad

[@lewist7576]

Interesting