The FUNNIEST STORIES! Told by Joe Lycett, James Acaster & More | 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

The funniest stories told by Joe Lycett, James Acaster, Sean Lock, Katherine Ryan, Jack Whitehall and more!
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#CatsCountdown #JoeLycett #JamesAcaster #SeanLock #JimmyCarr #Channel4

[@Channel4Entertainment]

What's YOUR funniest story? Watch FULL EPISODES: bit.ly/2vQu7Rm

[@penfoot8313]

Go fuck yourself

[@TheOriginalDeckBoy]

James Acaster is so god dam funny, I need to take breaks and pause the video, drag my cheeks back down to a resting postition and head to the sink to rinse the tears off my face... Jesus that kid cracks me up....

[@TheOriginalDeckBoy]

@@johndoe2277 he's a 'simpleton', there are many.. there's not much we can do I'm afraid.. The Footheads of the world...

[@lauramillington3209]

@@penfoot8313 uuu

[@penfoot8313]

@@lauramillington3209 who the fuck are you

[@LN0927]

“But for now it’s just the clippings in the tin.” It’s the creepy look that makes this

[@rorycox7830]

i think he stole the idea from black mirror

[@thedunyadoneya2628]

@Roderick storey so he paid £32k for a go on a bouncy castle and toenail clippings of kate middleton...

[@jamesmacdonald1116]

gives me a Mitchell and Webb look vibe, could even of been a sketch XD

[@afischer8327]

@@rorycox7830 I dig you. It's a very black mirror idea. But then again, just look up gallows humour. That's the black hour before they hang and bury you. And then, I dig you.

[@weebjeez]

When I heard him say he was gonna "make another one" the first thing I thought of was "what, another toenail?" and I realized I'd been watching too much of Lee Mack poking holes in his stories on WILTY

[@HKKRAMER]

Joe Lycett is brilliant. His ability to tell a joke in so few words is amazing.

[@BarriosGroupie]

He's awful; he's an over confident effeminate girly-man.

[@layneisinpayne2473]

@@BarriosGroupie hes a funny man. And it's 2020. Stop forcing all men to be all tough and stuff

[@FumbleBee1312]

Barrios Groupie Jesus you’re full of yourself. If he’s girly then let him be girly, who the fuck cares, there’s no actual criticism of his personality in what you said, just pointing attributes out.

[@sheev9852]

@@BarriosGroupie I bet that comment makes you very macho doesn't it

[@truckerdiablo5819]

Those who protest too much have something to hide.

[@briwood29]

Joe’s story about the parking fine made me crease man 🤣🤣🤣 ‘hopefully’ doth butter no parsnips 😂😂

[@jowhy7243]

*HOPEFULLY* YOU WON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN THE FORTHCOMING

[@Magere-Kwark]

@James M I'll let you in on a little secret. Every comedian's special, show, tour etc. consists of made up, constructed and exaggerated stories and situations. It's not the story, but the way they tell the story what makes it funny.

[@Magere-Kwark]

@James M They're not flashcards, they're props.

[@death2boredom338]

@Your Worst Nightmare It's a show that asks the guests to bring in props so if you're going to pick at him you should look for a softer spot.

[@1wibble230]

@James M Christ, you must be fun at parties......

[@Elmdorian]

James Acaster is such an underated Comedian, his stories I've seen on here, on WILTY and other places are hilarious.

[@seanclements6206]

Him on taskmaster is amazing

[@CaiMorgan420]

Buy his book!

[@Kirsten_is_cursed10]

I think about his cabbage story at least once a week...

[@peterbondy]

cai morgan the audiobook version is read by him and it’s so, so funny! Hilarious listening.

[@mikewilder]

Agreed, buy his audio book. It was hilarious.

[@WSK207]

There’s 0 regret in Bob’s voice about best Man’s speech . He still seems very proud of that. And we loved that 😂

[@PointsofData]

I would strongly argue he _should_ be ashamed if the family walked out...that kind of joke should only be told if you're sure everyone will be okay with it

[@HeatherHotcakes]

No. He’s an asshole.

[@connor_phillipz5689]

@@PointsofData If the family was that upset about the joke, That marriage probably wasn't gonna last anyway.

[@jje154]

I'm not sure we watched the same video, because to me it sounded like he deeply regretted telling that joke. He doesn't seem proud at all lol. Which makes sense. It sounds like it was really embarrassing!

[@Samld1200]

It’s a funny joke. Those people should grow up

[@berryberrykixx]

Joe Lycett's story about parking in a taxi rank is and will always be hilarious!!

[@berryberrykixx]

@James M It's still hilarious. You must be a fucking professional comedian at parties.

[@beetles97]

@James M If you know of his show (which I assume you don't), you would know that this story is entirely plausible, and not even that crazy. Also, he does stand-ups.

[@beetles97]

@James M Are you familiar with the format of this show?? Because with the segments you complained about Joe Lycett is the in the Dictionary corner whose role is basically two give VERY short SKITS to serve as intermission for the game rounds. (Also, I was fairly confident with my assumption because there's no way you'd think it's fake if you knew about his show)

[@andyjones1927]

@James M Because everyone else in dictionary corner does stand up

[@beetles97]

@James M So why do you speak as if you actually know anything about a compilation of an actual show with an actual premise and format. I also do not have a TV, and I also stream. I, however, do not speak out of my ass, and then get mad when he gets called out for it.

[@squidwardshouse5431]

'It's a handkerchief for mopping his brow when he's had a tough day being a nobhead.' 🤣😭💀

[@thomasphillips885]

Knob'ead

[@no-barkthechosenone2436]

Jack look genuinely pissed off when James threw the horse away

[@Addy0302]

"hopefully" doth butter no parsnips

[@davesprivatelounge]

when you 'assume', you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'

[@redswasted8624]

Addy 0302 “James Cordon” doth tickle no funny bones

[@ian42642]

James Corden showing off the talent that landed him his role in Cats.

[@YaraShammas]

When I tell you I screamed...

[@sunflower9481]

😂😂😂

[@nomdeplume2213]

Right... i hate that man lol hes awful

[@billbaggins1688]

He smashed it, what an asshat.

[@Simon_PieMan]

I’ve thought that for years, but inexplicably most folk think he’s great.

[@calk.4361]

Katherine Ryan laughing so hard through her story kills me 😂 I love how she finishes telling it

[@NeoDragoN7676]

"she'll just be my creature..." is the best David Mitchell quote!

[@neilgerace355]

I think David is much better off with Victoria, tbh. He should save her toenail clippings.

[@guywhocantgrowabeard]

I have an image in my head of victoria playing this clip to David and just going "and what about THIS"? 😂

[@tendai9613]

'Hopefully' doth butter no parsnips. Classic

[@badjemima]

Stolen from Victoria Wood's take on Brief Encounter

[@enricodesign619]

that storie from david with the toenails ... its so creepy, love it

[@seanclements6206]

For now it's just the clippings in the tin

[@wilfbrown8643]

If he follows through with the cloning and it's not her it's going to make the story better

[@DLSacks]

David's is just for effect. Jon's story about his roommate clipping them into mugs around the apartment is the true horror story.

[@Nfmb1212]

James doing his impression of Willoughby should become a meme

[@hbsauce2]

The look on everyones face when James smashed the horse was priceless, literally nobody on that panel thought it was funny you can tell they were all cringing inside, especially Jack

[@happyhoney2000]

Oh Jesus that James corden bit was so awkward 😬

[@PaddyRoon7]

"Do you not do baroque fonts, Paul?" Brilliant

[@Gemford05]

I had to pause the video just after cordon smashes that horse. 1. Thought that horse was pretty cute 2. I think that was someone’s actual ornament he borrowed and 3.the awkward tension was SO thick in the air oh my goodness

[@pathe8519]

it just got worse and worse as he started with the 'i don't care'

[@echognomecal6742]

He's a jackass. The poor person who HELPED him! Even if it wasn't dear to them, that was horrid to do.

[@face_in_the_crowd]

He's a moron. Always has been

[@gryphonbotha1880]

I genuinely feel sorry for Katherine. Glad she was able to spin her story into a humorous anecdote, but damn.

[@violetspillers6373]

here in under a minute ... just wanted to let you know james acaster is a king and his face in the thumbnail makes my day ❣️

[@CaiMorgan420]

Ya should get his book! Perfect sound whatever. If your into music deffo pick it up

[@rossevans3488]

Good to see his sister/girlfriend still being so supportive

[@wewper]

It's so sweet to see Sean enjoying many of these stories.

[@samwillis7773]

You missed the best story.. James Acaster and his band mate.

[@clobbybeeb0]

Sam Willis “I was in a band called pin drop”

[@Jarvony]

thats not on countdown tho

[@Armentitron]

Different show man

[@gtaylor331]

As has already been pointed out, it was a different show - It was 8 out of 10 Cats, not 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.

[@rvmm2]

Didn't really find that story that funny, it was funny but not compared to others he has xD

[@emilykeane9544]

Jon calling himself 'daddy'😩😂

[@Cunningcrow]

Joe Lycett's dry wit is pristine. Both the parking fine and engraved messages stories made me lose it 🤣

[@sueannwashere]

Bob Mortimer's best man quip always makes me LOL. Love him.

[@metalgodz69]

It's lovely to see them together....The brides leg's that is .....i'm in tear's

[@DondarfSnowbonk]

"Smashing a shire horse is nine years' bad luck." That explains the Late Late Show.

[@alexbenavidez4500]

Joe Lycett and James Acaster utterly slay me.

[@MarsEchelon27]

Joe lycett is the most loveable Karen 😂

[@meetaverma8372]

He is

[@DodderingOldMan]

It's quite fitting that James Corden's story here amounts to 'I couldn't be bothered to think of anything funny so here's some random shit I'm gonna throw on the floor for no reason.' Pretty good representation of his sense of 'humour'.

[@acidwr10]

11:11 jack looks disgusted he's jus smashed the horse. Think James was a bit embarrassed

[@ukevo]

Jack Dee seemed genuinely unimpressed with the smashing of the shire horse

[@Rojob]

Jack deez nuts gottem

[@jwvandegronden]

He's a professional cynic... He would betray his craft if he were impressed by it

[@carlgrant9785]

Joe's engraving story got me. Genius.

[@musefan12345]

Katherine Ryan being unable to tell her story due to her having a fit of the giggles is actually funnier than the story.

[@jmp_fr]

your profile picture is one of my favourite pictures of Matt Bellamy

[@jonathangwynne1917]

I'm very skeptical of Joe's claim that he was parked on the moon. The extreme ranges in temperature would have damaged his paint and tires. I saw no evidence of that.

[@christopherlee-hudson3283]

You mean Hugo Boss?

[@decodolly1535]

@@christopherlee-hudson3283 Not any more, he changed his name back again.

[@christopherlee-hudson3283]

@@decodolly1535 I know I was joking, I saw his tweet on Twitter.

[@lumo]

James Corden rubs me the wrong way here. What series was this?

[@irisrawsthorne8851]

Pretty sure it was Series 1 or 2.

[@VanillaLibrarian]

Series 3, Episode 5. I hope that was his horse after all, or production knew he was going to smash it, because I imagine it did belong to someone... I think several people on the panel thought that was dreadful, haha.

[@sabrina.h2737]

Agreed.

[@juwankane5150]

The Pendulum Of course it was his horse, it was all just set up for the joke of smashing it. It wasn’t comedy gold but it was quite funny.

[@clemv8926]

I think the production knew he was going to smash it, and agreed to it. Or I hope so. We can at least give him the benefit of the doubt.

[@samdub]

I love British comedy, all the panel guests are so unique in their comedy styles/personalities, and I love them all!

[@esmith2k2]

I love joe lycett's "stories" idk if theyre real or not and I don't care, they're great

[@piyushlahekar4215]

5:15 That's the cutest thing I've ever seen

[@CVlad92]

Dont aww him, he's a prick

[@piyushlahekar4215]

@@CVlad92 who cares about Willoughby, he's a knob head.

[@jowhy7243]

she’s got a jacket for him, *that* comes out, it’s ridiculous!

[@alexanderhill-cp8be]

When James smashed the horse I died inside.

[@FBI-wh9pj]

Are you now referring yourself as daddy haha and love how he delivers that impression of Jon

[@redswasted8624]

“James Corden” doth tickle no funny bones

[@Rvlyra67]

He’s v annoying. No wonder he had to pop over to America to save his career.

[@OP-1000]

When you are not funny, you smash things, insult someone from the audience, or say *fuck* a few times. That always gets a laugh.

[@scornandscrambleproductions]

he is very unfunny

[@jimlunn]

He's the antithesis of joy and laughter

[@sunflower9481]

What an a**hole, smashing something that isn't his? I don't know what to think - was it actually someone's (possibly meaningful) possession, or was he being an ass about bringing a mascot so the producers got him something stupid, so now he's throwing a tantrum?

[@tully9842]

That taxi rank story was definitely the best 😂😂😂

[@ALLCAPS_95]

You can see just how uncomfortable James Corden becomes when he is actually required to be funny and not just read off of a script. Painful.

[@CTRIsTheBest]

so true

[@sirdoughnuts462]

I think he was pretty funny later on in the show

[@cassandrathomas6015]

He's not a stand up though? The work he's known for are the shows and sketches he wrote, and as an actor. I don't like him either but he's surrounded by stand up comedians who do this for a living.

[@wnaish7541]

Jamie Nelson someone’s jealous of all the P he has. Grow up pal

[@yeah2853]

Ikr he's sooo unfunny

[@KaritKtana]

I love James Acaster's comedy, but it's genuinely hard to see him being so mean to a teddy bear. And its plush little jacket!! So cute!

[@Pagliacci_Rex]

Rob with the sideways burn on Jon, brilliant.

[@sf5823]

13:03 😂😂😂 He's a comedy gem is Joe Lycett

[@pearkore6821]

Oh my god I've never heard David Mitchell be so creepy

[@katherinechu4581]

Omg the parking fine story is my all time fave its bloody brilliant

[@umbranoir2502]

It's 8am. Chill your beans.

[@bazzascott8935]

Both David and Victoria play both the Crazy girl/Incel Stalker role very well.

[@ryanniv1851]

That sheep one gets me everytime 😂

[@seanclements6206]

DoOOogg!

[@jezusmylord]

that engraving story is gold even if its fake

[@the1whereIwatch]

omg jon being a clean freak i love him

[@kielanwade5096]

Anyone else genuinely annoyed at James for breaking a statue that wasn't his in the first place?

[@PoppyCorn144]

I was incensed - it’s not his and he just chucked it over his shoulder. I’m not a Corden hater (he seems to inspire some rabid hate but I’m 🤷‍♀️) yet that made me so mad.

[@kielanwade5096]

@@PoppyCorn144 for reaaaaal! I didn't know if I was just being too touchy but it just came off so rude for no reason at all? I heard he's a bit of a narcissist so I wouldn't be surprised if he just doesn't value other people's property

[@musefan12345]

Cordon talks so much shite, I wouldn’t believe for a second that it belonged to his great great great grandfather.

[@davidhoward2487]

@@kielanwade5096 His "best" friends are Harry & MM

[@YvonneWilson312]

He knew he was way out of his depth in that room and was trying to be "edgy", the dickhead.

[@sunflower9481]

Watching everyones faces when James corden was on, reminds me of when Sharon Osborne was on would I lie to you.

[@jasonwoods9745]

That's it James just smash things up without a thought of wasting material ! What a message to send out !!

[@ChiccaJinju]

Oh shut up. James is a shit and not funny but is just a prop who fucking care😂

[@nakkadu]

Never seen Katherine Ryan lose it like that 😆

[@bovinejangles]

I like that paul fella, he seems like a good dude

[@only1utdanditsleeds]

It was all going so well. Then on comes Corden. Click.......

[@jatari7871]

I was genuinely pissed off when Corden smashed the horse ornament. Fakkin Bellend.

[@Hessian247]

Honestly David’s toe nail clippings idea is actually brilliant. Cause that might actually be a n issue in the near future

[@stahppls2293]

I can't unhear the *HA-ha-Ha-ha--HAAAAAH~*

[@lmm2103]

Omg the engraving story 😂😂😂 I feel like absolute shit at the moment and yet that still cracked me up

[@user-uj8vc9gy6m]

Well, now we know why James Cordon's luck ran out in life 😁 11:20

[@ce7282]

Daddy Jon can tell me a story anytime.

[@Rehan-he3zh]

*when you assume you make an 'ass' out of "U" and 'me'*

[@itamixsama]

@@RainbowSunshineRain it's from how assume is spelt: 'ass' + 'u' + 'me' :D

[@caoimhejordan4047]

Omg I love Jimmy's laugh😂😂

[@northessexbusphotography54]

Poor Willoughby 😂

[@dod6031]

The worst one was James Corden and he’s the one with the mega money talk show career in LA. Life is unfair sometimes...

[@janhenson9616]

Life’s not all about money, any one of these comedians could go work in India or Somalia and make millions, but you lose huge amounts of freedom when you leave Europe. USA is 53rd in freedom, so would you prefer £20m in the best possible place on earth to live in human history (Western Europe), or $70m to live in a worse area? Bare in mind, pound is worth a lot more than dollar so £20m is about $50m, and at that point 50 or 500m isn’t making much of a difference

[@CloudsGirl7]

It says more about America's lower standards, frankly...

[@seaunatchison]

@@CloudsGirl7 Damn right 'Merica

[@harrisonkey698]

10:00 I did that once but I sealed it in a plastic bag and the cup did not break which really confused me to be honest lol.

[@decodolly1535]

James Corden is not only not funny, he seems to be a humour vacuum. He actually sucks the comedy out of people who are otherwise hilarious.

[@kirstyrochedowdall9133]

Not to mention a few people have said he's actually a huge jerk and just pretends to be all nice (Joe Lycett has said it a few times for instance) and honestly watching that clip I really don't find it hard to believe cos he's not gonna be the one to clean that up is he?

[@ElvisLivesUpstairs]

Jack Whitehall is the same. He's worse actually. That show he did with his dad was painful to watch

[@ElvisLivesUpstairs]

@@kirstyrochedowdall9133 I read a/few times he treats people like shit. He's like that Ellen Degeneras. Their nice guy personas are all an act. Some famous guy called out Ellen on Twitter and there was 100s of people sharing their stories about what a bitch she is. I can't stand those fake bastards

[@jatari7871]

Hes a complete tool. Smashing the horse ornament gave me another reason to hate him. Mack and Whitehall can fork off too.

[@jaystyles7305]

@@jatari7871 Why don't like Lee Mack or Jack Whitehall?

[@arenalife]

James Corden is no loss to the UK

[@ChavvyChannel]

thankyou channel 4

[@checkm8964]

13:32 wow these spot the difference games are getting hard, is it Sean Lock or is it Walter White?

[@alexsoto9285]

Quite sad how life can imitate art after now knowing he probably looked that way due to the cancer. It’s highly coincidental & slightly ironic

[@morgansearle3912]

Yeah I feel like maybe you regret that one a bit

[@leeball4585]

2:04 She...that's a laugh!

[@santoy1000]

Funny stuff ..! 😂 well ..apart from James Corden, obviously..

[@Persholm1]

Acaster is so damn funny it breaks me

[@mad1469]

That was a beautiful horse statue

[@Beafteck89]

Rachel is an absolute fox

[@jonathanmartin4125]

Dan B she is so so attractive

[@JT-xj1pg]

@@jonathanmartin4125 was

[@glenmcl]

Google her pic with no makeup.....yikes

[@annmariebuscema6506]

Joe Lycett hilarious

[@toymage4144]

It's not Joe Lycett! He changed his name to Hugo Boss!!!

[@toymage4144]

@Dusty 99 When I sent that message it was

[@BD-yl5mh]

0:55 I feel like someone could do an edit with this clip and the “it was at this moment that he knew… he fucked up”

[@lslice5283]

I got my grandpas engraved multi tool that was his northwestern utilities Ltd safety award for my las bday

[@wfcoaker1398]

I love Bob Mortimer

[@jaynebrennan1220]

Joe Lycett brilliant

[@tashamott]

james cordon is the epitome of art is dead by bo burnham

[@RIXRADvidz]

10:12 - 11: 34, SKIP IT or you'll get Corden Shit all over your screen and keyboard

[@stonebeachuk6681]

You're a good person.

[@nairocamilo]

Messed up the formula for the ending, but thank you anyway Ain't gambling my computer infested with cordenian germs

[@robertofontiglia4148]

Oh is that Hugo Boss ?

[@carrotcakecat]

Yeah!

[@pbzeppelin6167]

3:10 lucky, lucky man.

[@ethanbloodworth619]

13:44 my girlfriend gave me that chain with a different message...

[@FBI-wh9pj]

Joe lycett the type of person to be a hacker and David Mitchell haha he's the boss

[@dianasayson2846]

James Acaster (had to edit since Corden's on here appparently) & Jack Whitehall in one video compilation! ❤

[@iguava]

I don’t like James Corden.

[@fluffy100]

I'm moving to Bristol soon...

[@afischer8327]

I was hoping that Susie Dent would give a different meaning for the phrase yule-hole.

[@sofieturesson]

Which episode is the brokeback mountain reference from?