Terrible Dating Advice That Also Costs Money

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[@JordanKyle]

I went to the bar once with a broken arm. A girl wrote her name on my cast in lipstick. It was completely illegible within about 5 minutes and people thought it was blood seeping through the cast and they all got grossed out and wouldn’t get close to me

[@mariya_tortilla]

LMAO!! noooo! im so sorry

[@iron-thorne]

oof rip lol

[@preciouse]

😭😭😭😭

[@kylebean5743]

Pressing F to pay respects

[@razi_man]

Damn, you got a horrible neighborhood there, my friend has actual blood seeping out through his cast and everyone came to his attention. I feel like you got unlucky there with the people around.

[@illkeyLive]

every squad got the: - random drunk girl - 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘤 asian chick - two tomboy twins in daisy duke shorts - big booty bachelorettes

[@happytofu5]

and if you don't know who in your squad is the random drunk chick - you are the random drunk chick

[@genesisofthebetween]

@@happytofu5 LMAO

[@katicasey4610]

I am the thicc asian chick and the random drunk girl. This is due to the fact that I am 1 out of 2 people in my friend group that can legally drink and the only one that can drink due to medical reasons. Also the other one is a man. I am also the token asian.

[@happytofu5]

@@katicasey4610 if you earn 120 more skillpoints, you can decide if you want to become two tomboy twins in daisy duke shorts or a big booty bachelorette!

[@stardoogalaxie9314]

Tag yourself which archetype are you:

[@Lovinia1]

To everyone who gets upset that women just want to be friends, imagine how frustrating it is when you put effort into what you think is an innocent relationship only for them to tell you they only put effort into you because they wanted a brief moment of sex and the timers run out.

[@gayjayy]

I've legitimately tried explaining this to other men, only to be told "You're gay. You don't understand." and "Don't expect friendship out of us." (they assumed it was a girl because I treat women with respect?). Like? Dude. No. Women do not OWE you a romantic or sexual relationship just because YOU want one. If someone you weren't interested in anything but a friendship tried to force a relationship with you, you'd be wildly uncomfortable. Now, women have to go through that so many times!

[@Lovinia1]

@@gayjayy yeah. They don’t get that we can tell when they’re only after sex and assume we just shut them down in favor of this “chad” character that I’ve never seen in real life.

[@worldrenownedchickenchef]

If I want to be more than friends then I should do that with someone else who also wants to be more than friends. Can’t force a relationship. If I want friends, nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with the same gender. I shouldn’t have to be friends with the opposite sex or anyone as a matter of fact. If it’s forced, it’s not friendship. I’m fully honest in my intentions. Being honest about wanting to date, be friends or have sex from the get-go is the highest form of respect. Never hide your true motives. HONESTY is so important

[@Lovinia1]

@@worldrenownedchickenchef exactly.

[@gooodmorning4526]

​@@gayjayy exactly. And somehow they don't understand this, but they are uncomfortable being friends with a queer man because he could develop feelings for them🤦‍♀️

[@theTastiestNacho]

this guy has a bright future as a Wattpad author, this is some My Mother Sold Me To One Direction shit right there

[@heathercalun4919]

No because the first one is a fanfiction by a teenanger with self esteem issues. And this person is a criminal who is deliberately spreading hate-speech for money.

[@marthapapadopoulou3559]

LMAOOO

[@michelmanno8244]

Is that a real thing?

[@sakura8004]

@@michelmanno8244 apparently lol. I've never touched those pics and honestly I'm scared to :3

[@yoBmeF]

​@@michelmanno8244 yes 💀

[@HannahBayles]

We are really out here telling men exactly what we want and they’re like UR LYING 😭

[@Mr-pn2eh]

Blame the stupid alpha male mentality.

[@VoonieTOONs]

FR LIKE- “what do woman want?” “Oh you know, someone who’s smart and funny and with actual listen to me” “PSH. THATS NOT WHAT WOMEN WANT THEYRE JUST ‘SAYING’ THAT”

[@azure113]

@@Raltze_i understand your frustration but i would recommend asking what a girl you like wants directly. i understand that it can be hard but what is likely happening is they want you to be direct too and it’s kind of a stalemate and it doesn’t hurt to ask. but also a lot of people are really direct so.

[@kat-xi3qn]

@@Raltze_ thatsa individual communication issue not a “women” issue

[@Raltze_]

@@kat-xi3qn yes thats why i said, some women are like that, as well as men can be like that. not stating what you want directly is just a general problem that some people have no matter who you are

[@SuperSpaceBeagle]

"Make a girl chase you instantly and automatically" 1. Run up and lightly tap her on the shoulder 2. Yell "Tag! You're it!" and then run away Works every time

[@Miraclelittlepie]

As a girl i can vouch for this its fool proof

[@briar9997]

Also genuinely a better way to make a connection with someone lol

[@thesleepydot]

@@briar9997 tbh yeah

[@thebois32]

I tried it and everyone just stared at me sternly like jeez people in wheelchairs are so hard to get

[@Miraclelittlepie]

@@thebois32 as a wheelchair user this is the funniest addition to this thread no one else needs to add anything

[@_cursified_]

The fact that he ASKED women what their turn on’s are but then proceeds to say that they are only saying stuff which they are supposed to is so funny to me lmao 😭

[@heathercalun4919]

SO funny slash super fucked up. Like this same logic is why abortions are being illegalized. "Women don't know what they want and lie all the time so it's really in THEIR BEST INTEREST if we take away their rights"

[@zubetp]

i laughed really hard when he was like "this simple seven word phrase made her put her phone away" and jarvis suggested "can you please put your phone away" because that was seven words exactly

[@roninfredricson6958]

This is predatory to those poor sad guys. "You don't have to be handsome, you don't have to be jacked, you don't have to be tall, you don't have to have a big dick, you don't have to be successful, you don't have to be talented, you don't have to be rich, you don't have to be smart, you don't have to be funny, you don't have dress well, you don't have to be attentive, you don't have to be generous. You don't have to do anything, you just need this one cheat code and if they say it doesn't attract them THEY'RE just lying to you and conspiring against you with their womanly secrets."

[@roguebird12]

Me and the girls getting together every full moon to talk about our "womanly secrets"

[@shirin9452]

You, a small worm, can too procure multiple supermodels!

[@VRCommy]

@@roguebird12 just check the bushes for Ryan whatshisname because I guarantee he hides in bushes near groups of women. 🕵🏼‍♂️

[@TheyCallHimBun]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter lol found one

[@becp488]

@@roguebird12 True, in fact we got the latest womanly secret update just last night. (We Southern Hemisphere women get the secrets first because of science). Of course I can't elaborate any further obviously, because it's a secret. A womanly one.

[@Gaaraloverr1]

This Andrew dude was seriously like, “as long as you aren’t some evil douche who would use these secrets to hurt or manipulate women then this video is for you… anyway, here’s how to manipulate women.”

[@IAmASharpedo]

The weirder part is that isn't the only "Andrew" turning life into an active shitshow for women. If a friend wants to name their baby Andrew I must judge them harshly. XD

[@thugpug4392]

@@IAmASharpedo no stop giving bad people names. We're gonna start running out. Kyle, Karen, Chet, and now Andrew. That's like half of the people in my Kindergarten class.

[@duskmare0000]

Clearly goes with his other dating advice about not letting your desires control you. I think the quote is "A man chooses, a slave obeys."

[@DMO-DMO-DMO]

@@thugpug4392 what what's Chet?

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@thugpug4392 Nobody named chet can be trusted

[@irisvirgilio7821]

Can you imagine being one of the girls, realizing that being a drunk idiot one night and jokingly wititing your number in some rando's shirt inflated his ego so much that he went on to create a course around it.

[@Olivia-bc1fq]

I love that he says it will bring you a fulfilling relationship despite the fact that he only ever gave examples involving sexual attraction, and he admits to still be single lol

[@Apostate_Alexei]

He had to say "f***" quietly because he didn't want his mom to hear him

[@genesisofthebetween]

BURNNN

[@Official_Meshay]

😂😂

[@miggle2784]

You mean his father. No woman would ever want to be around this guy.

[@asrielgaming57]

but then that’d mean he isnt fatherless@@miggle2784

[@YourProctologist]

but he's 100% fine with his parents hearing all about the "big booty bachelorettes"! AND his entire self-insert fantasy...you couldn't waterboard that shit out of most people

[@princetore3640]

this video is a psychological horror movie where a man relieves the same moment over and over again and slowly loses his mind. we wont forget you jarvis your sacrifice will be remembered

[@jakemarie828]

🤣🤣🤣

[@matthewjury4385]

Relives

[@elementary1872]

Groundhog Day

[@Em-fz5uh]

Lmao and to make it even better: the guy’s name Andrew Ryan is the same name of the big bad guy in Bioshock. Manipulator who made his own city at his image. It fits well with the plot 🤣! Would you kindly turn girls on ? 😅

[@Vampress09]

Bold of u to assume we aren't gonna lose our minds with him!

[@Noxomo]

I love how this ‘Amazon best-selling author’ is literally a fanfiction writer

[@Ca.me.ro.n.]

Mid way through the video he accidentally starting reading his fanfict script instead of the actual script

[@esmeraldaloschuetz9120]

Andrew: "It didn't have anything to do with me, it was purely millenia of biology!" Also Andrew, 30 min later: "You will find a girl who loves you for you!"

[@swanlake694]

As one of the female species, I can assure you our biggest turn on is an incel sitting in his dark room writing wattpad.

[@Elizabean1984]

I'm a Femcel and I write epic fanfictions on wattpad but women still hate me... 😔

[@damienearl8302]

And jokes aside, let's assume he's telling the truth imagine being that woman, and just hearing this guy you hooked up with once go into extensive, maybe even dramatized detail about how good he *dominated* you to a public audience of incels-

[@damienearl8302]

And not just that, but kinda make you seem *easy* in front of said audience, putting emphasis on the phrase that apparently works on everyone he hooked up with before and after, and the whole "30 second" thing

[@cooler-ian]

Taking notes 📝

[@an_madichon]

@@Elizabean1984 I am a little female rat in my room writing anime fan fiction. We're in the same boat lol

[@tokiWren]

I like how these literally always are like "Want to know how to GET GIRLS? Learn how to do it with THIS ONE TIP!" and then immediately define and describe psychological manipulation

[@tokiWren]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter Yeah, but... That's not what they do, ever. They literally employ well-documented and abusive manipulation tactics.

[@tokiWren]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter frankly i think that if the options are between "be genuinely likeable" and "intentionally foster jealousy" there is an obvious incorrect answer

[@tokiWren]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter Obviously we disagree. I think that a man struggling with dating should perhaps take a critical eye to the way that he interacts with women, and treat them First and Foremost as PEOPLE with REAL THOUGHTS and a COMPLEX INNER LIFE. Dating is to me about friendship, honesty, and respect. Pick-up artistry and incel-tude are both similar forms of dehumanization and disrespect in my opinion (as a woman).

[@tymondabrowski12]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter just like "be nice" advice can backfire, "touch them to make them like you because touching increases attraction" (one qdvice from PUA that I remember) can backfire too and in a worse way, imho. My best advice would be "be a good and interesting person", though frankly I have no idea how to become an interesting person. (Touching an arm won't make me interested, even if I'm attracted to the guy.) HealthyGamerGG has some videos about it, and he's not misogynistic, so maybe he'd help. Problem with PUA is that they kinda condition guys to see women not as human beings like their friends or their family are, with different personalities and wants and needs and desires, but as a template with some RNG values (to explain away the failures). I dunno, maybe PUA has some hard truth about attraction, but in real life you need more than attraction. Last guy I slept with, I wasn't attracted to - but I liked him and thought it could be fun. Other time, I chose a guy that I was less attracted to than a guy who I was really attracted to (physically/sexually) because the latter just straight up didn't talk, while it's important for me to talk with people. Attraction helps, but it's not be all - end all. Even for a hookup, you need more. The woman needs to trust you and feel safe (and she'll be on a lookout for any red flags, hopefully), but it also needs to be compatible with her worldview (so, personal differences between women matter) and she needs to be in a situation that allows for this (no boyfriend/husband, no recent sexual assault, no death in the family in the last week...). Some of those you can't control, some of them you could work on (do women feel safe around you? if not, why?). For a relationship, you need even more, all that personality stuff. And what's worse, it needs to match the woman you're with. Or, rather, should be the other way around: you need to look for a woman who matches your personality. But PUA will tell you that all women are the same and the same tricks always work with RNG value of success. Basically, PUA sell the solution to like 10% of the problem (and the solutions are often questionable, especially in regards to consent) and hide the existence of the rest 90%.

[@mina-simp]

“use this ONE TIP to get money INSTANTLY! hold someone at gunpoint and demand their life savings. INSTANT MONEY HACK THAT PEOPLE DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW!”

[@EmiliFaust]

That story about the 3 college girls grabbing at him has 'and then everyone clapped' energy.

[@twixtwix2915]

Andrew Ryan really about to hit those big booty bachelorettes with a good ol “would you kindly”

[@ruthie8785]

You think he’d let them choose for themselves.

[@Zimcrazedfangirl]

Oh my god yes I’m not the only one thinking this😂

[@nobody5333]

He asked a girl if a man was not entitled to the sweat of his brow, and he got upset at her answer.

[@PutkisenSeta]

The secret was manners all along! Da womz weren't lying after all!

[@FrankensteinsMom]

This concept that women desperately don’t want you to know a “secret” that will make them lose their self control and people are actively seeking it out anyway terrifies me.

[@wyattmiller9539]

Yeah that's not fun

[@LeafyGreenDA]

It's the phrase "calm down".

[@kirawilkinson7186]

The modern Northwest Passage lol

[@svenhefrind4861]

Women? want? obviously women aren't real and don't have opinions

[@stevethebarbarian9876]

I watched a similar pitch to this once that was WAY grosser. This guy says like “as long as you’re not a bad guy and you use your powers for good” but the one I saw was like “WOMEN and LIBCUCKS are gonna HATE THIS but you can MIND CONTROL WOMEN AGAINST THEIR WILL with this ONE SIMPLE TRICK” like my man was one step away from saying “you can get away with rape!”

[@SuperSisby]

Upon reading "3 smoking hot college girls walked up and started grabbing my shirt." My mind immediately leaped to the, "My three weed-smoking girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed," meme.

[@quack2390]

do they smoke weed?

[@urydhdhdbbcbcbctruegsgdhfh3837]

Yes, actually.

[@quack2390]

@@urydhdhdbbcbcbctruegsgdhfh3837 so theyre not just smoking cigarettes? but weed cigarettes?

[@salem-01]

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

[@BlisaBLisa]

ME TOO I literally said that out loud 😭

[@explolsivecake2045]

when he said that ‘3 smoking hot college girls started grabbing my shirt’, I just pictured a trio of women marching over, then of them hoisting him by his collar and slamming him into a wall like omniman

[@starjamie]

the way “could you please put your phone away” IS A 7 LETTER PHRASE

[@pants4736]

I think that phrase has more than 7 letters lol

[@sahana757]

15 unique ones to be exact

[@starjamie]

@@sahana757 i meant word sorry 😭

[@sarah.1230]

as a member of the female species, I can confirm I am only interested in men who are already taken. I am exclusively a homewrecker. but it’s not my fault, the attraction is just so automatic! and it’s true what he said, I’m honestly pissed that he told our secret. never underestimate the note taking skills of a man with two first names!!

[@VRCommy]

Do you have like a spidey sense where you can tell that a man is taken even if you haven’t met him? Or do you just look for the white shirt with numbers all over it? 😆

[@falcoperegrinus3712]

@@VRCommy as a woman I confirm we gravitate to blank white t shirts, i have 30 backup markers to desperately rub and scribble my phone number on white Tshirts. We meet up every friday to fight for taken men until there is only one left

[@nymphmythic454]

Oh my god. You have two first names too! They're spreading...

[@sarah.1230]

@@nymphmythic454 oh noooooooo!!!! I’ve been compromised!!

[@sarah.1230]

@@VRCommy oh it’s the white shirt, for sure! plus, there’s usually already a bunch of women swarming him already😂

[@kavve3h]

The "make women chase you" video was nothing but a wattpad fantasy of an average incel, also thank you Jarvis. I am now indeed a premium chick magnet

[@username-mk4qv]

The girls men actually want are the ones who LIKE being treated like literal objects. Notice the use “girl” and not “woman.” Men don’t want those pesky feminazis who like being treated like humans. It takes a real man to handle something that puts up zero resistance. Wait…

[@sawyer8351]

I don't know when I have to stop chasing them, my legs hurt.

[@username-mk4qv]

@@sawyer8351 you never stop. You keep running to him with your boobs jiggling, like the isekai harem anime girl this guy is clearly writing his self-insert fanfic about. You LOVE the chase. You LOVE the competition.

[@EarlyOwOwl]

It was so graphic it made me uncomfortable... Which is how you know it would be a successful fanfiction.

[@sirshotty7689]

I’ve read isekai harems with more realistic plots than this.

[@Rainkit]

"My name is Andrew Ryan. You may know me from building a city in the ocean."

[@wilsondavies708]

No wonder andrew ryan made rapture, after saying "big booty bachelorettes" he had to go into hiding

[@HopeIsADrug11037]

it's so funny how he asked women what they like and this man is like "no you don't"

[@ryang1202]

We interviewed tons of women (from the same demographic) about what they like in a partner, and guess what? THEY ALL LIED

[@tp6440]

@@ryang1202​ lol he was very upfront about the very impressive and definitely statistically significant sample size of 𝟕. It’s just bad in too many ways for anyone to articulate 😂

[@the-postal-dude]

holy shit... izuru pfp real

[@willgrahamlover123]

@@the-postal-dude holy shit Nagito Komaeda

[@willgrahamlover123]

Kamukura Kamukura Yas queen

[@abigailbobkowski7350]

I clicked on this video expecting another 30 minutes of hilarious premium content, but my expectations were completely blown out of the water. Five minutes into the video an inner voice started to whisper to me, softly at first, then with increasing intensity, that Jarvis was my ideal man. At the ten minute mark I had entered a trance-like state and was envisioning our future together with startling clarity and minutiae, uncaring of the Pacific Ocean that lies between us. By twenty minutes I had near-unconsciously begun putting together actionable steps to track and chase him. I have since given in to my feminine urges and have developed a detailed dossier of his personal habits and most frequented areas. I have notified my friends and family of our upcoming nuptials and am looking forward to a beautiful autumn wedding. No need to tell me where to find you. The chase begins.

[@Fluff_Noodles]

Your beautifully written comment triggered my own feminine urges and now I am desperately trying to find Jarvis in order to compete with you for his affection. This means war.

[@adv78]

Nah, he doesn't even have a white TShirt with numbers all over it

[@vaishnavisingh9244]

Now this is how you do fanfiction justice, with irony

[@mooncarrotarts261]

I’m a happily married woman, but after seeing you vie for Jarvis’ affection, my lizard brain has taken over and I now must do the one thing my feminine mind has always been primed to do…compete. Jealousy has taken the reins and I, too, must chase.

[@gardenthefermentingsound6218]

I mean...Jarvis is smart and funny and cute and a good person. But since I'm a man, I don't think I've got a chance with him.

[@realNom2mooncow]

So let me get this straight: this guy somehow arrived at 297$, (attempted to) manipulate you into agreeing with him, then was like nah, actually you're wrong, then sets the price to another random number that doesn't mean anything, then lowers it drastically again to another weird number and sets a time bomb waiting to explode

[@C3T3LA]

This strangely feels like a "day in the life" for every generic main character in a harem anime.

[@Dolthra]

I love the insinuation that The Bachelor's formula is "women be jealous" and not "let's lock three dozen people in a house, cut off their access to the outside world, give them copious amounts of alcohol and tell them that if they win or are interesting enough they may never have to do anything other than speaking gigs ever again."

[@DafieYo]

also like - the people on these shows are fucking hot!!! that is very relevant for the show to work hahahah

[@dklee.01]

literally 😭

[@MoOveOver_plz]

Not to mention the Bachelorette also exists so does that mean men also are attracted to this too???

[@TheJaninzo]

The phrase "big booty bachelorettes" took years off my life

[@kianclarke5577]

Same

[@Eeter26]

Amazing alliteration

[@Colin_Dosheinemer]

Honestly it took ALL the years off my life…

[@natibet7546]

Hahahahahaaaa 🤣🤣

[@biguwubill]

@@kianclarke5577 my english teacher would be so proud

[@sagejennings4342]

"As long as you're manipulating women into dating you - not any of that creep shit - you can use these tips"

[@efgdelcatty]

30:36 he looks like if Matt Walsh was beaten half to death by a gang and then forced to make a PragerU video after being in a coma for 7 years

[@DyingSunset]

Andrew Ryan: "Dating women is like window shopping for me" Andrew Ryan a minute later: "As long as you arent an evil manipulative douchebag- " ALREADY FAILED, MY GUY

[@aidankelley2696]

"i have a list of woman as long as my hand" so is the trick to just to have a fling with woman or to actually have a meaningful relationship.... because having a fling with a woman does not count as "cracking the code"

[@DyingSunset]

@@aidankelley2696 I dont think people like Andrew Ryan even believe that a meaningful relationship with a woman is possible, considering how they see women.

[@anonnymouse287]

Seriously these people r something else 😭

[@DyingSunset]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter If anything Pick-Up "Artistry" *aids* the creation of incels by furthering their impression of women as objects. Except this *isnt* "how attraction works," and its almost certain that people like Andrew Ryan *know this* and are simply selling the "Easy ways to become a playboy"-fantasy to incels. Because they are Grifters. They arent successful by teaching you anything, they are successful by selling you a bunch of misogynist drivel that will drive more women away than it attracts and sabotage any relationship you manage to build because it conditions you to see women as Date-robots. Which in turn makes you rely *more* on them because "obviously" you simply need more Pick-Up Artistry and you simply havent internalized it enough and if women dont slobber all over you its "clearly" their fault. Its also very clearly the most obvious wish fullfillment fake story ive ever heard in my life. Like. The guy isnt even *trying* to make his story sound realistic. So what makes you think that any of it *actually works?* The only people who believe that women will swarm to you if you give the impression of competition are people who dont actually see women as full people, which is, usurprisingly, a pretty big turn-off for most women!

[@corroticks]

@ApplesWithPeanutButter _uhhhhh_

[@taylifts]

I did some digging and apparently "The Girlfriend Phrase" is just "I can see you as my girlfriend" which, if that was said to me on a first date, would put me on guard real fast

[@MsSphinx91]

Thank you, the suspense was killing me. And, yeah, that could easily be a turn off for most people. I think it only works if that person already wanted to be your girlfriend.

[@taylifts]

@@MsSphinx91 same, I was like, I have to see how underwhelming this is lol and I agree 100%

[@adaoraelliott9254]

god i would be right out of there if we weren't vibing and a guy pulled that out on the first date

[@tonyastark1215]

It's not even consistent with 'the secret' of the video, like, how is it supposed to create that female competition. My brain is melting

[@taylifts]

@@tonyastark1215 exactly. Like at first he's talking about attracting multiple women at a time and then he says that his secret is something that only works in a 1 on 1 setting lol the math isn't mathing

[@becca53444]

They have these garbage scams aimed at women too. I once read what looked like a blog article about how to find a healthy relationship, and it ended with “Get ANY guy to commit to you if you just buy this book of simple tricks for $39.99!!” Had a timer too. I can’t believe anyone would be stupid enough to actually make the payment

[@BroudbrunMusicMerge]

I like how the dude basically just applied the centuries-old business tactic "pretend there are other offers to get better deals" to relationships, and acts like he'd cracked a genetic code

[@number1freshlemon56]

It's really funny to me that they asked 7 girls for what they like, got multiple different answers, and were like "well you didn't all say what we wanted you to say, so that means you're lying!!!" making everything they said completely pointless

[@noizepusher7594]

To learn what women were into, we asked a women :). AND THEY WERE WRONG!

[@sonya6191]

My theories: • he paid for some random request stuff from girls and expected them to say stuff more related to his thing but they didn’t but he already spent the money so just put it in for time • it’s to make you think “what you know better than women” and keep watching until he gets to his point • it’s part of his world view that women are hiding secrets and are the most complicated thing alive, and using this as an example because that’s not what they are ReallY attracted to

[@elisecode2212]

this always baffles me, why bother asking if you've already made up your mind?

[@allenxav4754]

@@noizepusher7594 😂

[@heathercalun4919]

Yeah it's almost as if the only priority of the GOP is legalizing r- or something

[@christina_cavazos]

Did anyone else notice that everything on the tshirt was written in the same handwriting?? Imagining him crouched over the bed writing all of that himself is absolutely sending me

[@MrMajesticMajesty]

Bruuuh i imagined him in his bed laying down belly to bed with his feet just going back and forth lmao

[@gooodmorning4526]

There's no way completely drunk college girls would be writing that clearly anyway lmao

[@Dr_Sunshine222]

@@MrMajesticMajestyThis is real I was there 😼

[@ChoirCollective]

they also all have different area codes (which some variation is fine but the chance of all of them having different ones? no.

[@artsyscrub3226]

If you notice it looks like the marker skipped over wrinkles in some of the drawings but strangely the drunk girls's writing is perfectly clear....

[@M2ofEMMM]

I think this is the first time I've ever seen anyone point out how weird it is that these dudes are always talking about instantly turning women on and not just piqueing interest. I wouldn't want someone suddenly lunging across the table at me during a date. Then again, it seems pretty clear that these guys aren't particularly interested in any aspect of dating except getting laid.

[@RisingSunfish]

The secret three-word phrase that will make ANY woman chase you: “tag, you’re it!”

[@selfocus5649]

When I first clicked on the video I felt cold and distant toward Jarvis but with each minute I felt the parasocial magnetism pull me in😩 Jarvis is a premium chick magnet now

[@Diana-mu7pc]

You saying that spikes my female aphrodisiac jealousy! Now I MUST have him, even if I was cold and distant to him before!

[@Chic_Ken]

@@Diana-mu7pc oh no! This chick is taking him to the henhouse. Hubba hubba

[@chellychels4356]

@@Diana-mu7pc, alas, perhaps it is time for a duel. The most alpha submissive female wins his love. 🤺

[@galacticalove]

I've heard of horseplay but this is ridiculous, the flock has gone nuts!

[@a1marine105]

@@galacticalove I've never been so confused until I read these replies lmfao

[@Simbley]

obsessed with the part where he's like "we asked women what they want so you know what to ignore"

[@vlo4829]

I think that part of the video was actually truthful for anyone, not just women. There is almost nothing to be gained by asking "what do you want?" The answers are always too generic and rehearsed. I also don't think it's really possible to sum up such a complicated thing into a succinct list. Even if someone IS able to do it, when you get the information, it doesn't seem like a good idea to try and change yourself to check off the boxes...

[@ps1hagridoufofcharacter]

@@vlo4829 you have a point, but the criticism here is that Two First Names asked a bunch of people their opinion and then straight up told us to ignore what they said and listen to him instead

[@vlo4829]

@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter That's why I said THAT PART of the video was truthful. I don't endorse the neverending mess that follows! lol

[@lestranged]

@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter not even a bunch of people. He asked '7 hot girls'. (7 white American hot girls all in the same age range and likely all paid actresses). Those 7 are meant to represent all women but they all had different answers anyway.

[@adzdrawss]

25:03 im not exaggerating when i say i was crying at this part, tears were rolling down my face at this. he had just gotten so off track with what he first was saying the video was about, it escalated quickly, and he was trying to flex on the dating life that he never actually had was just so funny to me. im also ace so sex is one big joke to me. i couldnt breathe for the next minute because he kept making comments and the story just kept getting more escalated and i was laughing harder than i have in months im ngl. this is was a wonderful video. idk who this ryan whatever guy thinks he is but he is quite the guy.

[@redtapeworms]

He was so close then took a complete u-turn😭😭😭 its not jealousy, why do they always think women are these fantasy beings who are just always jealous and shit? When other women are around you, other women get attracted not because they're jealous BUT BECAUSE THAT SHOWS YOUR LESS OF A THREAT AND CAN BE TRUSTED 😭😭😭😭😭

[@TheChelseaHanna]

Women for years: all we really want is someone kind and communicative Men: we must crack the code

[@m0bz0mb39]

Lmaoo underrated

[@abisummers6789]

based

[@KirstenMarie_MS3]

That showers.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

"being kind?" *scoff* "But that would require me to work on myself and be a better person! Why do that when I can just be a garbage person and hate women for not liking a garbage person."

[@randomstuffprod.]

you don't really think all men act like this, do you?

[@alyalvarado1667]

I'll be honest, if I was on a date with a guy, and he suddenly tells me that he's got chicks lined up waiting to date HIM or basically anything that implies that he's got ~options~ I would probably end the date right then and there. Like I don't want a man that only views me as an option. BUT HEY, what do I know, I'm just a woman, and clearly, I don't know what I want. I'm just saying this because I think that's what I'm supposed to say.

[@camille1324]

Yeah I’d be like okay so this guy is not genuine and doesn’t want to just hang out as equals getting to know each other in order to figure out if we’re compatible, this is a weird game for him. Why would I want to be someone who *wants* me to feel insecure?

[@thugpug4392]

If I was on a date with a guy who had a bunch of chicks lined up I'd probably assume he's bisexual and would wonder why I'm the only guy.

[@camille1324]

@@thugpug4392 bc you’re special

[@cleverlyblonde]

Don't forget to check if he has a clean white shirt! 😂

[@adv78]

Are you saying you won't instantly want to date a guy just because he has a white shirt with other girls numbers marked on it? AND you wouldn't offer your friends too without ever talking to them about it?

[@RPGLover87]

I want to make a parody version that says it's going to tell you how to turn a girl on and it's just me dubbed over with Ramona Flowers yelling "HER WEAK POINTS THE BACK OF HER KNEES!" Also beating around the bush is probably how a lot of girls described his technique :P

[@heatherandluke3252]

please do that's funny as hell

[@snomberry]

I'm only halfway through but this is LITERALLY how infomercials work

[@KhanaHatake]

"As long as you love women and love youself" The men who pay for this shit love neither.

[@26349]

So true

[@liamboudreau8415]

I am in love with the idea that this whole video is just an endless loop that never gets to "the one trick" as some kind of Sisyphus-esque punishment for incels

[@dysmissme7343]

I would love that as a short film- the incel ends up trapped for eternity as a metaphor for real life incrls being trapped within their cyclical self defeating mindset

[@ivanc9087]

That’s actually how all early course marketing scripts used to work and largely still do. To this day, they all have this 30 minute video that says absolutely nothing and keeps looping main talking points until it hits a paywall in the end or a free webinar or call. It’s to ensure the clients are desperate people with plenty of time to waste. They used to do this with online casino exploits, binary option trading, other get rich quick schemes and of course dating. Bc people will always be desperate for love and money. And people who are either lazy and/or not particularly smart will look for shortcuts and credit other people’s successes to some obscure secrets. That’s also why uneducated unsuccessful people love conspiracy theories.

[@caiooliveira4964]

Most of the "dating tips" are exactly like that (Im very ashamed to know that, dont ask me why I know it)

[@user-hw9cx2eq5z]

Andrew Ryan only needs three words to get big booty women. "Would you kindly?"

[@ruthie8785]

NOOOO THAT’S ATLAS

[@officialblimp]

24:29 exactly he went full smut writer mode

[@gwest3644]

During the totally real story in the bar, I was *desperately* hoping that it was a satirical video where they actually just said “no woman can resist a man wearing a white t shirt”

[@lordskeletor481]

No woman can resist a blank surface with ample pens/markers, they cannot resist the allure to draw and write little doodles like a high schooler with undiagnosed neurodiversity does to every assignment they receive. (It's me, I'm women and ex-high schooler with undiagnosed neurodiversity)

[@hoi-polloi1863]

I've found that wearing a splotched and stained t-shirt doesn't really rake in the girls, so clean white tee is a good place to start!

[@iamr0ttinginside]

@@lordskeletor481 this is true i also have experienced this allure

[@allenxav4754]

dannnggg. I need more whites

[@mellow_mallow]

​@@lordskeletor481 oh my god I drew so much on all my schoolwork always. i got diagnosed in the ninth grade but I also just really like drawing lol. But yeah you hit the nail on the head there

[@riseup773]

What I learnt today: Jarvis is patient. Real patient.

[@sourgreendolly7685]

Which is extra impressive with his ADHD. I couldn’t get through this without him breaking it up 😂

[@justingovas415]

Some would say too patient

[@crystaleunoia3974]

Patience is my biggest turn on 😩💦

[@elize2952]

@@sourgreendolly7685I don’t even have ADHD but every time I’ve seen one of these videos (usually fitness) I just skip to the end and scroll down to see how much you have to pay lmao

[@ivanc9087]

These ads have been around for as long as the internet exists and what they basically promise is to take consent out of the equation. If the ad was honest about its premise it would be something like “how to manipulate women into dating you against their clearly expressed will” or “how to override women’s cognitive functions and eliminate their free will”. And that’s insanely creepy

[@lucynda_chaos]

23:27 "I have a gun under the table" this innocent 7 word phrase... .😊

[@ghostboy4115]

Okay lets just say for a single moment that the t-shirt bar scenario happened. The reason more girls would come up to you after another girl has expressed their interest in you is because WOMEN TRUST OTHER WOMEN. Especially their opinions on whether or not a man is safe. Safety is constantly on a woman’s mind and seeing other women trust a guy makes that guy seem more trustworthy than he would on his own. Its like when like a king has someone taste test food before they eat it. Much more comfortable eating something that is definitely not poison than something that could be poisoned. Its not jealousy, its safety concerns being slightly alleviated and social approval being given out by multiple parties not just their own mind.

[@rattyeely]

I think you made a good point, but also that t shirt situation definitely did not actually happen

[@anitachamberlain3391]

This is a wonderful observation, and is actually helpful to me. Thank you.

[@Sephelions]

I haven't gotten to this part of the video yet but the idea that women would give their names and contact information to you out of jealousy of other women is just No

[@burgerkingbasketballcourt]

For me, I was thinking something more along the lines of: you’re at a bar. They’re drunk. People do tons of impulsive and dumb shit when they’re drunk. It’s not impressive that you can only get a woman’s attention if she’s tipsy.

[@caarline654]

This is exactly what I was thinking too. I'm way more likely to trust a woman's opinion on a guy. Honestly, a probably real tip should be to have a wingwoman. But first you'd have to be able to be friends with a woman!!

[@viviantompkins7925]

"Window shopping for women" Well if you were looking for one trick to turn women OFF, it would probably be a phrase like that

[@kingintern7566]

He definitely is window shopping for women cuz he for sure is paying for them to spend time with him

[@erikm8373]

Legends say Jarvis is still watching this video, waiting to hear the _real_ one trick to seduction

[@tobyparker3230]

jarvis is genuinely such a good youtuber to fall asleep to cause even him yelling is quiet enough to not wake me up lol

[@ashley-m]

his wattpad-esque scenes were so outrageous that I can’t believe he expected people to believe they were real

[@vaishnavisingh9244]

I have read fanfiction more realistic, hell there are Anime Character X reader fics that are more realistically written.

[@scaper8]

@@vaishnavisingh9244 I've read fanfic written by twelve-year-olds that were more realistic! It is nuts!

[@AngelaEAwesome]

Inc** will believe anything that supports what they want to be true. That hot women want unattractive, creepy men if they just know the trick.

[@NerdTheDemon]

@@vaishnavisingh9244 I've read the lowest of lows on AO3, and guess what? ...AO3 was worse than this guy, but this guy is still reeeeaally bad.

[@vaishnavisingh9244]

@@NerdTheDemon I will fight you, AO3 is loads better than wattpad-😭

[@lexx1745]

“I was standing in a bar when suddenly a flock of gorgeous models started caressing me, fighting for my attention, and begging me to take their numbers!” ACTUALLY HAPPENED

[@cleverlyblonde]

But the white shirt! It was so... white! and Shirt-y!

[@3u-n3ma_r1-c0]

is this a case of the outdated r/thatactuallyhappened joke? r/thatactuallyhappened

[@sunnyandthechlo]

Then everyone in the bar stood up and clapped.

[@Viscidsquare040]

@@3u-n3ma_r1-c0 1. It’s r/thathappened 2. I’m pretty sure it’s referring to the now gone fake Animated Story channel named “ACTUALLY HAPPENED” because Jarvis has made several videos on those channels

[@dorkchops]

i find it funny that everyone that wrote on the white tee has same handwriting

[@darkserpent7191]

That video is literally the definition of "my essay has a word minimum".

[@sagejennings4342]

Love the contradiction of: "turns on EVERY GIRL" "oh the ones it doesn't work on? You don't want them anyways!"

[@saltypretzel4959]

I had asked my college friend if she wanted to date me, in the parking lot of a Buffalo Wild Wings, while I was tipsy. She said yes. Six years later we’re still together and happily married. No one needs a course. Just shoot your shot and hope they’re interested.

[@Lethalin]

hell yea dude congrats

[@josayahmitchell6292]

average salty pretzel W

[@kinnoyu8448]

My current bf confessed his feelings for me after years. I said I wasn't interested. He said that was okay but he still wanted me in his life bc he cared about me as a person. We started dating like 3 days later lol

[@xoxdid]

@@kinnoyu8448 I confessed to my best friend a few days ago. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm trying very hard not to cross my fingers and remain friends lmao >>

[@kinnoyu8448]

@@xoxdid it's very difficult. If you can't do it, that's understandable. I had that happen to me multiple times; I lost some really important friendships bc the other person wasn't okay just being friends. If she cares about you, she'd understand. It'll hurt like hell for both of you, but if you really can't handle it, don't force yourself into it. Don't stay friends with her with that hope that maybe she'll fall for you with time. That won't end well. If you can handle platonic friends then stay; if you can't that's okay too.

[@notrod5341]

This is probably a self-filter thing, right? The only people who would sit through a half an hour long video that repeats itself and is unbelievably boring are going to be the ones uniquely vulnerable to the scam. I wouldn't be surprised if Jarvis bought the next stage, it would be the same thing and end with another, more expensive, sale.

[@jojbenedoot7459]

Almost certainly

[@djsdbskjvnvkj]

When my bf cheated on me, out of desperation I started buying all of these. The one thing that attracts a man is apparently to "tell him he makes you happy". It was a whole book on making the man feel like your knight in shining armor lmao. So yes, they actually give you an answer, but it's not something life changing nor something you wouldn't be able to find elsewhere online. Now it's just a funny story to tell because dropping $300 on that bs was completely out of character and it's definitely targeted toward the vulnerable.

[@WarhammerGeek]

Oh for sure. No way is it only going to be $37. You'll finish the first $37 course and it'll ask for more. That's when the sunk cost sets in. You already paid the $37 so why not pay a little more to continue? Rinse repeat.

[@imjustdandy9799]

Its called a sales funnel, these scams will loop the funnel over and over with a high price each time

[@kayzee_bee]

at first i thought you meant this video that jarvis made (which is also 30min) and i was like holy shit that is such a intense roast and how did 500 people like it ? i had to re-read a couple times haha 😅

[@qu1z4B3lla]

this should've been named "31 Minutes of Andrew Ryan's Smut Fanfiction"

[@ThePianiolist]

8:48 I thought this was supposed to be a NY Italian accent lol

[@pickchickens5286]

Imagine buying his book and its just a compilation of his fanfictions about how every women wants him

[@autinjones7194]

It probably is. Hell. its probably just the same fan fic re written twenty times in slightly diferant ways to trick people to think hes giving them new information

[@pickchickens5286]

@@autinjones7194 haha, yeah, probably

[@kenos911]

At that point why not sell a separate book for knowing how to write these beautiful books of gospel? 297 final offer

[@autinjones7194]

@@kenos911 There we go! Easy money right ther boiyo XD

[@Merinkous]

That I would buy for $297.

[@mrs.october893]

“I’m Andrew Ryan.” The secret turn-on for every woman is if you’re a Bioshock villain.

[@Styxintheriver]

MY FIRST THOUGHT

[@gh0stpuppi333]

🥵🥵🥵 evil Walt Disney

[@jasons2210]

His 7 word girlfriend phrase is "Would you kindly have sex with me?"

[@SheepUndefined]

@@gh0stpuppi333 Isn't that just regular walt disney?

[@gh0stpuppi333]

@@SheepUndefined aaaah you got me there

[@cupids_favourite_aro4578]

31:00 "And then they accidentally touch hands. And they think to themselves 'That was weird, but I'm not gay.' They are. They are gay."

[@eddykidplayzyt]

Trying to get to the “1 simple trick” in this video is like trying to reach the end of the staircase in Mario 64 without 70 stars

[@nicholas8739]

The most ignored fact is that he showed Colton, the Bachelor who broke up with the girl he ended up with and came out as gay. Jarvis knew and made a great point. Makes Andrew's garbage even funnier

[@genesisofthebetween]

PFFT-🤣

[@Fairygelic]

As a woman, I would never chase after a guy, especially if there’s other girls after him as well 💀 like no. I would like our feelings to be mutual thank you very much

[@Caldella]

If I feel like I have to chase someone and compete over other people, I will assume that I'll never be a priority and drop all interest. My personal relationships aren't a reality TV show.

[@Fairygelic]

@@Caldella exactly. I know my worth. why would I chase after someone that doesn’t recognize it the same way I do??

[@damienearl8302]

​​@@Fairygelic And a slight fallacy is his comparison to the bachelor Like...the gals on the bachelor are literally there for the express purpose of being there, but these random girls at bars aren't there to bump the bed with you (him)

[@rickyslost3231]

His watt pad fanfiction made me cringe so hard I had to keep pausing what a pathetic man. Everyone knows the only way to get girls is to be premium

[@elizabethwojcik1620]

@@damienearl8302 Also, what about when it's a bachelorette and the men all get jealous competing over the woman.. 😂

[@stoneheart_raven]

26:19 "and how to make her secret 'daddy' fantasy a reality" That dude should be on a watch list. almost puked at that part!

[@flamingfoxx]

17:00 I love how every number has a completely different area code lol

[@estheranaiswhitington6749]

I'm a chick and now magnetizing myself to the fridge. Help Jarvis

[@alexandercollins5704]

this is the premium comments i signed up for

[@RatKingShriggy]

best comment

[@gracegaylord9025]

Ah fuck, as a Bi chick I'm just fuckin levitating due to magnetism

[@PKPICO]

You were always a chick magnet Jarvis, you’ve simply embraced it.

[@Nuancednudibranch]

He has. 100%. I will admit, he does seem to be adjusting more to conventional beauty standards, which isn’t inherently bad, but he has, admittedly, always been attractive. Not to sound all fan girly as I don’t consider myself anyone’s fan, but I definitely slid in his dm’s since I found him attractive when I stumbled on some of his slightly older videos. I was immediately mortified by my own behavior to say the least. lol

[@rachel-in-the-208]

I find Jarvis attractive too - I always have. He has a nice smile and a great personality. I am really surprised to hear he is single to be honest.

[@Nuancednudibranch]

@@rachel-in-the-208 I am surprised, but I’m not. I feel like despite his joking, there are plenty of folks sliding in his dm’s/pursuing him. His personality, combined with his appearance, and at this point (and this is only attractive to some), his prestige allows him to be picky about who he wants to be with. No need to settle down with someone just for the sake of it. Idk if that makes sense? I could be projecting though because that’s the point I’m at with dating. Lmao

[@deereye87]

Need me a Jarvis tbh

[@froggy5748]

@@Nuancednudibranch tf do you mean he’s “adjusting to conventional beauty standards”?? He’s literally just dressing nicely and comfortably lmao

[@NHAW_Destinyy]

7:37 LMAO They really were like "Ohh lets ask these women what their turn ons are" but then here comes a MAN "WRONG I KNOW WHAT TURNS THEM ON"

[@NovastarX]

I would have thought that Andrew Ryan's number one dating advice would be to build an underwater city in the 1960s... 😗

[@silverpixie101]

"women jealous", this man has no idea at all. If that shirt thing really did happen it has nothing to do with jealous and everything to do with the fact that drunk women at bars love social activity.

[@angelreed9039]

Literally! I'm not a woman, but if I saw a bunch of people gathering around some guy and all writing on his shirt(AND i was drunk) I'd wanna get in on it too!

[@Purplesquigglystripe]

Also social proof makes people more trusted

[@Morgan-ug2rt]

And markers

[@damienearl8302]

He was basically like "Yeah, I rounded the calculations, ran the statistics, supposedly had a single experience a long time ago in a bar, I've got it down to a science!"

[@damienearl8302]

​@@Morgan-ug2rt Also...yeah, either they happened to have all those markers on hand or he just brought a whole bunch of markers for the occasion-

[@epsilion7640]

I can attest to this, the MOMENT I transitioned into being a woman I forgot all about things like emotional connection, or wanting to be with good people, no, I want nothing but competition for men for 1 dose of estrogen you too can figure out the secret that makes all women a hivemind

[@onelovelylilidiot4959]

Hold on a sec gonna send you a telepathic threat to stay away from this mediocre man with questionable views I saw in a bar through the hive mind connection

[@Lucifersfursona]

This explains why the hive channel’s been on the fritz since I started T

[@justaperson4656]

@@Lucifersfursona it only got fritzy for you when you went on T? I got booted completely the moment I realised I was trans

[@foxinabox5103]

Ohhh, so thats what the voices are. Damn i should've known about this, this is embarrassing.... Also how do i send a threat with the hivemind?

[@willsith9762]

Estrogen is just a super virus overtaking the world

[@solsolsolomon]

People like him genuinely make me worry about dating because I'm scared that I'll end up being interested in a guy and he just wants to sleep with me immediately or will use these weird tricks to get in my pants

[@efgdelcatty]

28:58 I really appreciate Jarvis's vacuum salesman impression and I want it to be somewhere within the library of Congress

[@rowancrimes3828]

“Women want an extra-terrestrial pile of goo” How does Jarvis know I’m watching this video while I draw erotic comics about aliens?

[@limitless_valley]

He knows everything about everyone. That's the power of Jarvis Johnson now

[@vesperfromtheinternet5588]

my fave thing about the internet is that this has about a 50-50 chance of being true

[@meowntown69]

pics or it didn't happen

[@therearetwowolves]

@@meowntown69 Hmmm.... 🤨🤔

[@meowntown69]

@@therearetwowolves can't help that I'm an alien fucker 😔

[@ma_kenz]

“How many markers do you have?” I don’t know if it’s funnier for him to have carried around all those markers or for each woman to have brought her own to the bar 😂

[@RyanTosh]

You've actually stumbled upon every woman's _second_ secret: they all carry markers with them

[@adv78]

​@@RyanTosh Bro, if you really knew anything about woman, you would know their things can actually be unattached and use as different color markers. Trust me, i talked to a woman once 😎

[@tp6440]

My mascara? Actually a marker. Car key? Nope, it’s a marker. The arms of my glasses? Two markers. This Slim Jim? You guessed it: a marker. This pen? Oh yeah, it’s a marker. The antenna of my flip phone? You better believe that’s a marker. My hand sanitizer and feather earring? Actually, not a marker, but a pot of ink and a quill. My king size Sharpie? That’s my mini flask. My nail polish? Why it’s crayon of course.

[@oneofthoseyoutubeusers]

@@tp6440 men have an advantage here, they hide a marker in their pants to bring everywhere

[@Eloraurora]

Their designated driver brought a coloring book.

[@myqueerplantfamily]

Oh thank goodness! I thought this guy had a method to override my free will! I’m immune to this guy’s secret though because I’m poly. It brings me joy to see my partner with other people and know they’re experiencing love/happiness/excitement.

[@gaykidsexisttoo]

18 YEAR OLD “WOMEN” LOOKING FOR OLDER MEN??? SIR IM A CHILD. STILL IM HIGHSCHOOL. NOT EVEN READY TO DATE PEOPLE MY OWN AGE 😭😭😭 if ur older and looking FOR TEENAGERS, ur a creep

[@RohanKumar-ci9sl]

8:27 Honestly, considering the amount of women that I know that have crushes on fictional characters, I think you hit the nail on the head with the fact that its not about being a man or a physical form on this Earth

[@talia9895]

no physical form necessary

[@daydream5120]

As a female with a lot of fictional crushes, I agree

[@other_horizon1085]

i mean my first crush was glados so. not even a fake person.

[@AniMerrill]

You know, the saddest thing is... I don't even think he made that t-shirt story up. Like the real secret is that if your friends start suddenly doodling on your white t-shirt in the middle of a bar, you are suddenly a novel object in the middle of the bar. If this guy had any kind of charm or scruples he might have been able to transform one of these encounters he had that night into something more, but instead he walked away with "Aha, I have cracked the femoid code!" Like he had to spin this experience into him dominating and tricking a bunch of women in a bar, when really a lot of them were probably drunk and bored and thought it would be funny to go draw on the white t-shirt guy. As someone who has a knack for sometimes being the stand-out weirdo, it's definitely not that hard to get random people's attention. The hard part is keeping that attention and trying to find out who, in this sea of strangers, is someone you can connect with for real yknow?

[@happytofu5]

ok doodling on a guys shirt - sure - but a bunch of (only hot) women all writing down their numbers on it? come on!

[@Lucifersfursona]

It’s like, hauntingly sad that a person even could misinterpret the already awesome and hilarious human phenomenon of “holy shit, an excuse to write on a stranger” as “oh this is about ME” Like no we just really love to do this garbage

[@cassualtea2040]

@@happytofu5 I think its probably like... maybe the tshirt thing did happen but he just embellished it a lot to try and make it sound cooler than it is

[@erismylove]

One time my friend offered for my other friends and I to draw on their shirt. Everyone immediately started. This is so true.

[@zubetp]

it's true - this guy could probably have gotten the same results by having a stack of newspapers and teaching his friends how to make paper hats. everybody would have come over and made a paper hat. have a box of crayons on the table as well? get outta town! people - especially drunk people - love to get together and do something silly. they'd all have walked out of the bar with paper hats on. one of them might coincidentally spot somebody else in the same paper hat a few hours later on the train and point at them like the spider-man meme. and it's really nice - it can transcend language. _if_ the shirt in the video is real, this wasn't about him being a chick magnet and it wasn't about female competition. if it _was_ about female competition, they'd have been getting angry with each other trying to get a turn to draw a dick on the silly little man. it wasn't, and he _could_ have relished in the wondrous simplicity of it all. it's a moment of true human connection - a moment of being the connector of a whole section of the bar for like half an hour. what a way to cheapen that. you are no longer a connector, but a smug manipulator; the woman no longer human beings sharing in a moment of novelty and delight, but horny animals fallen victim to his cunning application of a sharpie and a fruit of the loom. (actually, it wasn't even him who did it. his friend was the one who initiated this lmao. where's his _friend's_ amazon book?) whether the story is fake or not, he's really just ruining it. either he doesn't see beauty in the world, or he's teaching incels not to.

[@emilytustin4540]

My favorite part was him trying to highlight the words for the disclosure text as it was read out loud and it was all over the place. 27:50

[@jessica-vg5gb]

idk about other girls but in my experience + my friends , when i learn a guy is interested / involved with another i immediatly get turned off. commitment > jealousy

[@lordskeletor481]

how to ACTUALLY recreate the bachelor effect: hire a chris harrison deepfake actor to follow you around all the time, constantly wear a suit, have your friends (dressed in evening wear) constantly ask to "steal you away for a minute", talk to the person like a confessional camera.

[@craneoflores]

"dressed in evening wear" cannot emphasize enough how important this step is. i followed this process and the bachelor effect totally worked. I am a chick magnet

[@grim1044]

@@craneoflores i dont see how wearing a suit could attract chicks, i usually have to use some sort of seed.

[@kaceo.damondaze5270]

😂😂😂

[@ps1hagridoufofcharacter]

@@grim1044 just regular seeds will do in my experience, they're the easiest to get. i think they call them wheat seeds now, but the process is the same

[@gardenthefermentingsound6218]

Needs more giant sloth onesie

[@mercykachane8843]

hearing Jarvis call a website "bitch" made me happier than it should

[@DreadZep]

Andrew Ryan got chased by confused, frantic men trying to find out what women want and he created Rapture to hide from them

[@gnyng88]

I once clicked on an ad for "the secret of weight loss" that was harassing me. The guy would say you could take a quick test to know your body type, after that I left the video playing for like 20 minutes and not a single useful word was said. I had to use my phone so I gave up, but I'm pretty sure on the next part there was going to be an outrageous price required to "discover the secret"