Jay - Headlines (2008) Pt 02

Found these on an old hard drive.
Posted strictly for entertainment purposes.

[@CharTheBeauty]

I’m 39 years old, I used to love watching *headlines* on a Monday night. 😂❤ *Nostalgia* ❤❤

[@alann5003]

It sucks to realize how many headlines we missed out on since Jay retired.

[@matthewdickson2499]

Can you imagine the headlines he'd have? Oh my god I'd fall over laughing.

[@coolioso808]

What I liked about these Headlines was how real they were, just funny human errors, and Jay's little quips about it. But that said, why is it that nobody else, not even some KZbinr can show funny headlines anymore? I would hope Jay Leno doesn't somehow hold a all media copyright to anybody else showing real headlines and making a few jokes about it. That would be like not being able to make reaction videos because it was done by Late Night hosts as well.

[@Randytherumbler]

Jimmy Fallon just isn't the same as Jay Leno. Sure,he can be funny and chrismatic,but he's not just not in the same class or calibur as Leno ever was. I've never had watched any of his shows on The Tonight Show nowdays. It just wouldn't be the same.

[@prefeitobear9209]

And here we are, November 5 2020, watching Headlines because the past was better than the present and the future looks dimmed.

[@jerrytaliercio9087]

I’m still watching in 2023….

[@Randytherumbler]

And I'm just enjoying the reruns of what Leno had done. "Headlines" and him presenting the weddings sure had been funny as heck. 😂😅😅 We're in 2024 of March.

[@JayByrd83]

Ah, Jay and Conan. Back when NBC late night TV was actually worth watching.

[@Randytherumbler]

👍. Yep. And just watching reruns of nostalgia overload of Jay Leno, David Letterman,and Conan O'Brien really being the 🌞 where it's needed. And watching them over and over again,makes me feel like being in the past. Time travelling in the past.... And ❤-ing every minute of it. Wondering where *did* the good times go,when we're having fun watching shows like that.. And remembering a time when celebrities just wanted to entertain us

[@leecowell8165]

Back when ANY TV was worth watching...

[@webbers4life146]

Didn’t realize how much I missed this. Jay Leno was my favourite late night host.

[@kreativepulp8760]

I love his tone when he yells - "Police blotter!"

[@angel_existential]

These compilations are almost as good as antidepressants. My face hurts from laughing so much.

[@williamorich7531]

Glad I'm there's people like me 😂🤣

[@erickus36]

I used to watch Jay and then go to bed! That was always a good time and a wonderful way to end my day! I miss those times..

[@gimbobjenkins405]

Headlines was the reason I negotiated with my mom to change my bedtime.

[@rickgrewal2232]

@@gimbobjenkins405 for me it was the monologue. 10-15 mins of rapid-fire jokes that touched upon the days news. Thats why I preferred lenos tonight show over Conan and letterman at the time. Went to bed late every night on school days, miss those times

[@gimbobjenkins405]

@@rickgrewal2232 True, that was my opening offer and got negotiated down to headlines on Monday.

[@brendansunra]

5 year old me barely understand the jokes but cackled every time.

[@miguelrusate4849]

Big facts!!

[@barbaraconnett5057]

Jay, I’m old and don’t feel good, but I enjoy Jay, thank you!🦊💝

[@johnsnider3533]

Yes I love jay leno and I miss him he was so funny and I loved his headlines

[@Randytherumbler]

​​@@johnsnider3533Jimmy Fallon couldn't hold a candle 🕯️ to what Leno, Letterman,Conan O'Brien. Craig Ferguson had done.

[@jeffcurtis5265]

Back before the world went crazy

[@keithhyttinen8275]

Yup. Anglo Saxons aren't getting favored in society 100% anymore. Just horrible, and totally unfair. Remember back in 1988 when 78 of General Motors top 100 executives were named Smith, Johnson, and Wilson. Just awful.

[@sandra.j.g.thompson9268]

I miss Jay! I don't laugh easily, but when I do it's Jay reading the Headlines! Thanks so much, Jay!

[@marieanderson5989]

I use to look forward to Monday nights. This stuff never gets old!!

[@robertjauron7027]

I love and miss watching old shows from the past, it gives me a cheerful day.

[@mrs.dr.spencerreid3992]

These bring back such good memories. My dad and I ALWAYS watched these together before he passed away 😢/😌/😣/😊/😩

[@normancooney5374]

me too!!!

[@normancooney5374]

want company????

[@mrs.dr.spencerreid3992]

Norman Cooney - What state are you from ?

[@normancooney5374]

@@mrs.dr.spencerreid3992 Ohio

[@jpetes9046]

Your Dad and all the happiness and love you shared will live forever in your heart. My wife is gone six years as of this morning. I miss my Dad and Mom every day, and I’m 64 years old. All the wonderful things they gave me I’m now giving to my little grandson. All I can hope is when I’m gone he gives to his children what I gave him... and my parent’s love will live on.

[@lindaspano6128]

just, thank you.. Love headlines & these are wonderful memories .. laughing to lighten lifes crapola...

[@bobbob-wf8ho]

these will never ever get old .

[@edwardgaines6561]

Never get old? Comedy ain't funny no more. You got some big chin schlub, reading typos from the Palookaville post! Well here's a headline for ya. NOBODY CARES!

[@zokitchvlog]

His laughters is contagious

[@mayorb3366]

Very true! But at least a few of them would no longer be able to be shown these days. People will find a way to be offended and become outraged.

[@completecharleston7142]

Oh, the days when late night comedians were actually funny

[@Dennis-555]

Now they angrily rant about politics. I'm not from America. Just want the jokes.

[@geoculus5606]

@@Dennis-555 I think a lot of Americans just want the jokes, too.

[@Dennis-555]

@@geoculus5606 bring back the jokes, or more Norm repeats.

[@J.R.__]

And not liberal hacks 🤢🤮

[@Seldomane]

The late late show with James Corden is actually great because of the banter he has with the crew and band. Otherwise I mostly agree. Colbert has a few good lines from his writers now and again, but its too polished, needs some improvising.

[@wendyschmidt4339]

I do miss falling asleep to your voice Jay 💕🙏🏻🌹

[@Catholicophobia]

I was born in '89 and omg, I fell asleep to Jay almost every night while in hs.

[@ashleyworden1887]

Thanks to these being uploaded to KZbin, I can still fall asleep to Jay's voice.😴

[@njmcw126]

Always loved this segment. I really liked when he read the Police Blotters and did the voice for it.

[@Randytherumbler]

Especially in Weddings. That had been funny as hell. 😅😅

[@joseph_b319]

I always loved when he would connect two headlines together.

[@wpcampbell491]

The fact that all of these are real newspaper ads is amazing. I'm glad someone saved this because this was Jay's best tonight show piece.

[@mshappyapple8663]

I miss him so much! He was the best on late night. No one else has come close since.

[@nathankrush3289]

Agreed. Did you he's best friends with Jerry Seinfeld?

[@nathankrush3289]

Noone comes close.

[@savage22bolt32]

If you like cars, watch Jay Leno's Garage. Every week a new vid.

[@FRAME5RS]

@@nathankrush3289 He stayed off politics in any serious way. You can't guess his personal politics, same with Seinfeld, which in Hollywood is code for Republican.

[@richardpatrick2852]

@@FRAME5RS Jay was politically neutral, he mocked both. I do remember it was on his show that I first heard the term "undocumented democrats" when referring to illegals.

[@jthoen61]

I love Jay. He's got some good ones there.

[@dawoool]

I miss Jay, Kevin, Johnny, Ed, and Doc.

[@ronheydon117]

i also miss them. But, of that group, johnny Carson is the best.

[@billdemarce1789]

I havent watched late night since Jay quit.

[@billmers3219]

@@billdemarce1789 unfortunately, they let Jay go

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

@@billdemarce1789 Those were the days

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

@@ronheydon117 WAS the best he's dead now.

[@yellowtents]

my favorite part is when jay laughs to himself before reading it

[@KVWilson21]

This makes me feel better at work. His delivery was ALWAYS on point. I love Leno

[@nathankrush3289]

He was the best .

[@tjmctube]

This was on of my favorite bits of his.

[@Frankybroadcast]

My favorite.

[@NEEDCheese]

Johnny Carson did it as well.

[@alanmcneill2407]

I love to see Jay laugh....he is really sharing his sense of humor with us...his reactions are as funny as the items he shows!!

[@scottvanhille5688]

Used to watch Headlines every Monday on the Tonight Show and I would get a good laugh out of them. Another enjoyable one to watch was "Things We Found on Ebay" plus "Things We Found At The 99 Cent Store."

[@pdbordelon]

Love these so much! Miss Jay and Kevin!

[@marthavillanueva5505]

What a difference a typo or wrong letter makes. Even his facial expressions are hilarious.

[@nathankrush3289]

Jay Leno just looks like a funny guy. And he's still hilarious.

[@gspendlove]

I thought I was the only one who recorded Headlines every Monday night. One of these days I've got to put my own collection on DVD.

[@Havok259]

Yes please!!! I'd watch all of them.

[@billmers3219]

Those were the days

[@billbergendahl2911]

Headlines were the best part of the Tonight Show. I have not watched The Tonight Show since Jay Leno quit.

[@TheSoleProprietor]

Yeah. Jimmy Fallon doesn't even hold a candle to Jay Leno's headlines. But to be fair, Jimmy was funny with the musical impressions segments.

[@Randytherumbler]

Jimmy Fallon just isn't in the same class or calibur as Leno. I have never watched any one of his shows. Ever since the very first day Fallon had started. Having the Roots as his musical Tonight Show band wasn't, however,a bad choice. Nothing compared to having Chevy Chase as the TV emcee of his own Tonight Show. Having Sheila Easton as his sidekick? Historically,those were really the worst time EVER in television history.

[@bobsacamanojr9382]

Absolutely, but Jay didn’t quit. He was forced out by young idiot executives who thought they knew better.

[@leecowell8165]

I haven't watched ANY late night since he quit.

[@hsintien625]

This was always my favorite segment of all time, so funny. Now harder to come by cause printed media is almost extinct

[@Red-rl1xx]

The smiling dog and the "ass chewing starts fight" are a couple of my favorites!

[@heatherchristie6015]

When I was a little kid, I would sneak out of my bedroom after my parents went to sleep for the sole purpose of watching these headlines.

[@karensheline6958]

I did the same with Johnny Carson. On school nights, if there was a comedian on Johnny, I would stay up and sneak down the hall to listen and/or watch them. 😏 fun memories

[@rinsedpie]

I laughed like a crazed person. Only Jay Leno can deliver Headlines in such a way that every second words are funny

[@ivanleterror9158]

I think Johnny could have done it too. They were both part of a vanishing breed. Solid humor on everyday life. And not PC tainted.

[@rinsedpie]

@@ivanleterror9158 Carson always managed to show a deadpan face; hard act to follow

[@ivanleterror9158]

@@rinsedpie I've worked in the studios and done some extra work in L.A. Most actors will tell you that they hold those who master humor the highest among themselves. And deadpan is no exception.

[@rinsedpie]

@@ivanleterror9158 absolutely. Missing those nights in the 90s and 2000s when late night shows were the highlights of TV Guides.

[@busman7228]

Todays Tonight Show is really awful! Johnny and Jay were both great but the current host is not funny at all.

[@specialk9224]

I usually always watch Jay Leno's Headlines before going to work. They put me in a great, wonderful, and upbeat mood. :o)

[@tycobb2580]

yeah now-a-days late night is all silly boys, kiss-ups, and political ranting

[@Catholicophobia]

I bet that Special K also gets you in a good mood

[@gerrypeterson8604]

I'm with you buddy , Puts a smile on my face

[@TheFullmetalj]

Me too!!

[@matttherrien9608]

Life is better when you laugh!

[@biodigitaljazz5814]

I love watching these clips I'm sleeping in my car working 7 days a week trying to start a business while I work for Uber Eats so I'm saving up money to get a place to live after I had to go to the apartment the pandemic is not something I expected but I may still make it

[@shirleyrombough8173]

I really hope everything turned out well for you. During these stressful times the headlines help us deal with it all.

[@balletboy94]

Some of my earliest memories as a kid are of my dad and I watching headlines. Apparently when my mom was pregnant I would kick when the headlines segment started. Guess I’ve been a fan since before I was born!

[@michaelboyle1614]

L . NNM. J

[@michaelboyle1614]

. M M m. No

[@michaelboyle1614]

.. nl M m . . M..jjj . M N m . M M M . . M k M .m .. m M M M . Mo M . ... . M M . Nl M . . .I M M ..kk . M M

[@michaelboyle1614]

M m. M . . M J M .j M M . . M M M M M M M M . M .k .j . M . M . Jm . K .j N Nl M . M. . Nl . .. m . M . . ..ji.. ..i9.. m .k

[@Fatherofheroesandheroines]

Sooo.. I assume your like 12?

[@danhutson3460]

When I worked at Home Depot as a stock person, I was putting up trailer hitches & one box read "2 inch shaft with 3 balls". I just had to share this with co-workers & we all had a good laugh. The thing is, this was an actual product description & not a misprint.

[@leecowell8165]

thats hilarious you shoulda sent that in!

[@williamorich7531]

😂😂

[@budgarner3522]

Sure do miss Jay's headlines.

[@John_Fugazzi]

The Headlines were funny anyway but Jay's delivery made them really hilarious.

[@mrs.dr.spencerreid3992]

John Fugazzi - I concur ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@bradleyuppercrustiii9835]

Leno is the reason they're funny

[@mrs.dr.spencerreid3992]

BRADLEY UPPERCRUST III - I completely concur ‼️‼️

[@boxcarwillie167]

Thanks!! Back when late night T V was really, REALLY, funny!!

[@soitsanightmare]

Leno sucked.

[@richardhamblen5526]

I SAW HIM IN THE 80'S, AT VARIOUS TIMES ,LAUGHED MY ASS OFF THE WHOLE TIME, LOL!

[@nathankrush3289]

Not a lot of people think about this, but doesn't Jay Leno just look like a funny guy? He's the best.

[@sandywheeze3505]

Jay, loved your humor and miss you.

[@mrk1075]

If you miss Jay just watch Jay Lenos Garage on KZbin.

[@stefanfrankel8157]

@@mrk1075 Or go to one of his standup shows. He still does comedy.

[@happytappyslappy]

Headlines always made Mondays worth looking for. I would recall some of the hilarious punchlines during the remainder of the workweek. Thanks for the laughs, Jay. I miss you, buddy!

[@hijodelaisla275]

You don't have to look for Mondays. If you get to Sunday, just be a little patient.

[@lilmerc007]

Put Jay Leno back on his own nightly show again!!! It's just not the same without him. You know? Real comedy again.

[@mstrikesback168]

He's not degenerate enough for the media companies now.

[@zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz9]

Agree 200%

[@edwardgaines6561]

It ain't funny no more. You got some big chin schlub, reading typos from the Palookaville post! Well here's a headline for ya. NOBODY CARES!

[@robaxl3088]

they won't bring him back because comedy doesn't fit their agenda

[@randallbolt9193]

@@robaxl3088 And a conspiracy theory Republicon idiot goes to the "big bad librul media" lie again.

[@randomoverpopulatedworldid3286]

good to reminisce. over 10 yrs now

[@ironhawk29]

Used to make it a point to catch the monologue and headlines then go back out. Miss them days

[@jrambo7495]

Right!!

[@garystoltz573]

Lol. Me to, i always called their monologue the epilogue.

[@luxpursuits]

Jay Leno - best late-night host

[@michellepost5232]

The headlines and Jaywalking were both hilarious. I missed Johnny Carson, but I watched Jay's take-over of the show. God, I remember Jay during the late 1970s, when he had dark hair and was a standup comedian. He also did a few TV ads in the 1980s.

[@richardhamblen5526]

I SAW HIM TOO, MICHELLE POST..I WAS THINKING 80'S, BUT IT WAS LATE 70'S, AFTER I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL..ALWAYS HILARIOUS!

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

Isawhim in a club in the ninties he was great

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

@@richardhamblen5526 Issaw him in eclub in Hermosa Beach in the ninties he was great then too

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

Isaw him guest host in early 1990

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

I went to NBC studio in early 1990 to see him guest host.he was great then too

[@rafaelcisneros562]

Kevin's laugh is contagious 😆

[@HUBBABUBBADOOPYDOOP]

Good, wholesome laughs, back when the world didn't suck.

[@edwardgaines6561]

Wait, the world didn't suck in 2008? During the Recession? 😅

[@DeltaFRFX]

@@edwardgaines6561 still better than the last few years

[@theashdey9383]

I miss this era

[@neverknow69]

Damn we miss him...

[@austinteutsch]

What makes these segments work is Jay's added commentary. I laugh my ass off.

[@richardhamblen5526]

ME TOO!

[@richardhamblen5526]

ME TOO!

[@Seattlekid8]

I think his interactions with Kevin make it work too; makes ya feel like your hanging and laughing with your friends.

[@austinteutsch]

@@Seattlekid8 True. And sometimes, Kevin gets one in that cracks everyone up.

[@DianneDempsey]

​@@Seattlekid8in

[@mischaoliver9944]

I miss Jay Leno

[@davidsonlankford1168]

Jay puts all current late night host to shame. He could crash the ratings if he came back on at same time. Wouldn’t that be hilarious

[@jenniferpruitt6534]

I always loved this segment! Had the books that came out of this too. Would love to see this made into a web series or at least archived online somewhere. Jay's delivery made these funny headlines even funnier. He had a gift for doing that. He could make this a network special.

[@jeffmohr8366]

Recorded every Monday night just for this still makes me laugh

[@silverzales1980]

Jeff Mohr recorded on a vcr no less I bet!

[@joseph_b319]

@@silverzales1980 me too!!!!

[@stevenance4844]

Loved Leno. I quit late night when he left. The only good thing about these new late night fools is turning them off.

[@t-bonena3609]

Every time I watch Jay Leno, I laugh til I cry.

[@FtanmoOfEtheirys]

1:06 - "Toilet seat with hand shower, why would you want that?" Fast-forward 12 years and the stores are out of toilet paper xD

[@catnewskawai9367]

These are common in Asia. Some are used for people to clean themselves, while others are used in old septic-tank toilets to spray anything that doesn't fall down the drain by itself.

[@FtanmoOfEtheirys]

@@catnewskawai9367 It's called a bidet lol, and I have one. What I said was a joke lol

[@itiswhatitaintanditaintwha1427]

I'm almost binge watching these!

[@mississippimud7046]

I needed this today ,it's been stressful !!!!😣

[@pfflyer3381]

Keep smiling, love your pie!

[@miked918]

When I was young for some reason I enjoyed when he threw the cards off his desk ... not sure why lol

[@jasonb7089]

I had to pause it after the "smiling dog" police report. I was crying I was laughing so hard.

[@llydrsn]

I believe he does this every Mondays back then. Always looking forward to this as well as his monologues. I always thought he is the best late night host then when it comes to monologues.

[@brianschwartz360]

So wonderful to watch these. They give me a laugh when I really need one. Thanks!

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

Me too

[@nationofvillians1620]

Classic. I miss this Era. I'll be watching this all day.

[@Lance2773]

I made sure I was always in front of the TV set at "Headlines", time !

[@ssweeps]

Love the one about the cake from Wal-Mart...

[@ClinicalDecisionYikesYT]

Under neat :D

[@Imamonarchist]

At least we got the Cake Wrecks blog out of that mistake!

[@chineserocks77]

I loved the tonight show with Jay Leno followed by Conan. That was a great time to be a teenager. Golden times

[@Tumbleweed-vh4pt]

Was the only good thing about Monday was you looking forward to headlines.

[@leftfieldparlays2946]

breaking and entertaining ... classic !

[@micahcooper4505]

Really appreciate you uploading these, so awesome of you to do this ... thank you again! 79

[@judyvalencia3257]

Jay always made me laugh.

[@marythomson7931]

I started watching next thing I knew it was 4 hours later. So funny.

[@williamcassidy7008]

Same here. I didnt realize it was 4 hours later until my 4 hr reminder popped up. Lol

[@everettsykes1774]

Mary Your too cool. You spaced for 4 hrs on a 58 min video.lol That's like me on the freeway. Going 45!!! Bwahaha

[@marythomson7931]

@@everettsykes1774 you know what I meant but yes maybe I belong on the list. 🤣🇨🇦 (Watched the 4 or 5 episodes)

[@ddylla85]

Ima Hogg was a Houston socialite and philanthropist. Unfortunate name for a very influential woman

[@alexcarter6446]

The very first one killed me right there. So did the mime one 🤣🤣

[@adambuskirk2222]

Jay: "Toilet with Hand Shower why would you want that?" March 2020: "Heh little does he know"

[@ws2228]

🤣 it took me a couple of seconds. 🤣🎯👍👍 Keep up the good work.

[@Mary-jz9vr]

@Adam Buskirk, your comment deserves WAY MORE LIKES! 👍

[@Hithere-ek4qt]

APRIL 2020 - STILL STUPID

[@Mary-jz9vr]

@Hi there You must be one of the toilet paper hoarders.

[@henrys3629]

from the chef's crack.

[@WalterJoergLangbein]

Jay Leno... Great entertainer! Great humor!

[@tycobb2580]

OMG Jay was a master

[@duranfanvr882]

Really appreciate you uploading these, so awesome of you to do this ... thank you again!

[@normancooney5374]

WHERE IS MY BABY GIRL???

[@normancooney5374]

yes,WHERE?????

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

@@normancooney5374 in Cooney, Wisconsin.

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

What's the big deal it takes no effort to upload these.

[@sherrisRN]

I so miss these! I looked forward to them every Monday night!

[@garyschultz7768]

Back when the world still made sense

[@barbaraconnett5057]

I really enjoy you so much Jay thank you!

[@clairepatton6880]

Thank you for taking the time to put this video together. I enjoyed it very much and I know everyone else did.😀

[@claudettes9697]

It feels good to laugh at this it’s not mean it’s not hurting anybody thank you for an innocent laugh, Jay!

[@wynottgivemore9274]

Oh yeah... Try drinking coffee at the same time as the punch line😂🤣☕lol!

[@malirabbit6228]

Plus, free publicity!

[@cruisepaige]

I had some good belly laughs

[@ramsie50mp]

Amen

[@Beobout6]

I miss Johnny and Jay. When Tonight Show was actually funny!

[@user-eh5gj1hx9z]

YES! Not so much now. The TRAINED MONKEYS just do the bidding for the DEMONcRAT 'party'. THe first 10 to 15 minutes are all about TRUMP DUMPING!

[@cindygarcia4951]

I miss watching him @ 11:35 pm. Monday nites were my favorite. Monday nite headlines.

[@holden_tld]

headlines was always my favorite thing on late night shows

[@GlennDavey]

I can watch these when it's just me and my dog living in New York City after the virus apocalypse

[@SimplyTakuma]

Real Chinese in New York City 👌🏻 That was one of those restaurant headlines from Jay

[@scottsteel4230]

YOU ARE LEGEND, OMEGA MAN.

[@jonfleck8687]

Thanks for uploading this was hilarious! Back when late night was funny!

[@drricksjoquist4358]

Jay was great with this regular segment.

[@timg2088]

Small town cops and the dog... I'm dying! 🤣🤣🤣 25:25

[@tomtke7351]

Nothing, NOTHING is as good as Headlines to make me feel happy. Guaranteed amusement.

[@brandi2883]

His commentary about the headlines is also hilarious

[@cademccool2122]

This is why it is imperative that typographers must double-check their work.

[@cruisepaige]

KZbin commenters need this.