Getting Your Partner To Meet Your Needs - Needs in s a Relationship - Smart Couple 101

[@karinjansma4072]

I need a partner who shares my commitment to personal & relational goals & growth… I need validation & empathy… I need loyalty… I need affection… I need reassurance… I need safety - emotionally, mentally & physically… I need honesty & respect. I need love ❤️

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@raeannfarnes3930]

I need to be able to express my feelings without my partner personalizing and turning the feeling's against me

[@JaysonGaddis]

I know what you mean

[@redtentwomenscircle]

I need to feel heard, understood and respected to feel safe x

[@JaysonGaddis]

yes!

[@wizzyb9761]

Thank you for this video. I have been feeling very needy and unloveable after dating someone over the last few months. Until I met him, I felt like I was pretty good at respectfully communicating my needs. This video just validated for me that asking for what I need doesn’t make me too needy. He is very much stuck in “lone wolf” mode and I’m sad for him but it doesn’t mean I’m too needy to ask for affection.

[@JaysonGaddis]

You're welcome!!

[@macioluko9484]

I need intimacy on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. I need to be understood. I feel most loved when my wonderful girlfriend works with me on this!

[@avaceleste]

I need… words to be followed through with action, emotional connection, laughter and honesty.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yes!

[@singinglawnchair]

I need to be regarded as a teammate, have mutual trust and respect, not to be taken for granted. I need patience, intimacy, communication, affection, understanding, reassurance, honesty. Mostly I need to feel safe and secure.

[@jessicawinner4222]

I need to be listened to, I need to be able to openly communicate, I need to feel like I’m a partner not a roommate, I need an equal amount of effort from my partner.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for sharing

[@christinakennedy5063]

I Need someone who will protect what we are creating together,our relationship in every decision that he makes. In short exclusivity, respect n consideration of my feelings.

[@rami4291]

i need to be heard and for my feelings to be recognized. i need to feel like my struggles in life are acknowledged and not being ignored or dismissed as something of less significance

[@JaysonGaddis]

yes!

[@krismamani3550]

I need calm communication and reassurance.

[@Pinkenstein]

I need to be seen as an equal; to claim equal footing, respect.

[@sis.a.]

I need reciprocal trust and effort, so I can know we both work on the relationship to continue

[@kassandraduncan9652]

Thank you for sharing this information. Your explanation of how to help each other feel safe as a couple and within your tribe gave me a whole new perspective .

[@JaysonGaddis]

Great to hear Kassandra! Thanks

[@ninetta_k]

Thx for the video!! I'll be getting my bf to watch it. He gets defensive when I bring this stuff up and you did an amazing job explaining it so hopefully I can get through to him. My delivery sucked Compared to yours lol...

[@taylormoses3500]

I need intimacy, understanding, and security to feel safe in my relationship.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yes!!

[@anitalennox6525]

I have been looking for advice like this which is a balanced view point in relationships, 'sitting on your ass' does not change anything! thank you ...

[@JaysonGaddis]

Sorry to hear that

[@rturney6376]

I need to be protected. Thank you! I just found you!! This is great 👍!! I am limited in having relationships because I was not allow to have needs in my family of origins.

[@JaysonGaddis]

You are welcome!

[@kylieanderson3916]

I need connection and closeness I need my partner to grow in life with me.

[@ewm4266]

1. I need to be appreciated more like words of affirmation on my beauty, work ethics, how I take care of the family, How I juggle work with family 2. I need you to take my love language seriously 3. I need you to hug me more without me prompting you, Just for the sake of it because it makes me feel that you care about my wishes 4. I need to be taken out more to places I like, I need you to validate my feelings for the things I fancy and not make me feel like a fool for wanting them

[@JaysonGaddis]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@susanmcg903]

I need to be responded to; silence isnt an answer I understand.

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@suzannemaroney4579]

I need honesty, clarity, held, to feel safe, humor, physical touch…

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏☹🙏

[@roxannerenee4678]

Thank you Thank you and Thank you Jason for your life changing work!

[@lauraleeBolger]

thanks for the clip. every couple should listen to this.

[@JaysonGaddis]

you're so welcome! what did you like most?

[@lauraleeBolger]

it's hard to express our basic needs in a relationship without the other thinking that we are nagging and negative. I guess it's hard to express it in a way that the other doesn't take it badly. I like that you gave examples on how to express those needs. and thanks for saying all needs are important.

[@Phoenix44519]

Sit on your ass and don't do anything let's see what it gets you in your relationship? You're quite the comedian today. I think it's interesting how connection brings you exactly what you need. You saved my ass today with not taking things so seriously. I have such a desire to grow in every capacity. I am considering coming to potentially join your team. Growth and development is amazing. I wish more people embraced it and understood how amazing of an opportunity it really is. Thank you so much for inspiring me over all of these years. I cannot tell you how many people I have shared your profile with on my personal feelings towards the simplicity and what you're trying to teach all of us. Thank you for reminding me each and every day Jason. Looking forward to meeting all of you

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@helloiamthechosenone]

I am trying to communicate my needs with my new bf of just a few months and also be understanding of his perspective. However he is extremely busy with work and barely ever have time to communicate with me. In fact, I clean/cook/remember to feed his dog when I visit him- he doesnt have time for anything like that usually... He has s tendency to get angry and defensive very quickly when faced with criticism or even if there's a misunderstanding. It's hard for me to soften my criticism a lot because it makes me feel more vulnerable, and I figure they won't listen to me or make changes I want anyways as I have seen in the past. I hope I can fix this, and I will need to if I want to feel loved at all :/

[@argiroouranou701]

I need to feel accepted as I am and to be understood...

[@shariross8577]

I feel that after 5 yrs n promises that "things will get better" well they havent! I dont want to please him anymore cuz all i get is "rain checks. Very empty!

[@JaysonGaddis]

yeah, talk is cheap

[@CJ-fw8fz]

This is a difficult one when sex becomes hard. When you're shaking when it becomes too much and don't want to do it again for another couple months.

[@JaysonGaddis]

:(

[@christiw7155]

I need empathy and kindness when I am having a difficult day. I need to feel safe that's it's ok to not be ok.

[@JaysonGaddis]

how's that feel to say?

[@christiw7155]

@@JaysonGaddis I've said it before, but my husband doesn't seem to understand or have the desire to make any changes to support me. I appreciate your work to help couples where both partners are interested in growth, but right now I am working on myself and setting up boundaries to improve the relationships in my life.

[@juliavanrun-kilic1744]

I admit I feel much better since I’m single. Have been for the last 9 years. I have found romantic relationships very complicated in general. I need to feel good within and with myself first. Any friendship or relationship is a plus, but my world doesn’t fall over when someone leaves. Expecting from someone else that he fills up my needs, is not receiving but taking. I can’t fill someone else’s needs, if I can’t fill my own. We can work together towards helping each other to feel better within ourselves. Not by filling each others lacks. I am not ready to “parent” someone else. I don’t like to ask from someone else to “parent” me. This is my perspective. Not right, not wrong. Just my perspective.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for sharing your point of view with us!

[@lydiasidlovsky733]

I need to be seen!!!

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@nicoledecosta5530]

My partner feels he’s content… he wishes I was content as well… me expressing my needs equates to me not being content and he’s unwilling to work w me or grow w me because he’s just so content… when I say I can’t live like this, he says take it or leave it😢

[@JaysonGaddis]

sounds like you have all the info you need to choose if you want to stay or leave.

[@KS-yl6yu]

Thank you so much!

[@JasonfromBiripiCountry]

I need to be better at understanding my partner on a spiritual level 🙏

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@nattisagillihan134]

I need to know that my husband loves me as much as I love him, I need to know he will not give up easily on us

[@JaysonGaddis]

yes

[@helloiamthechosenone]

I need to be listened to

[@zensvlognotapro]

Family is the greatest wealth- they are blessings to us. -Goodluck, and Bless you in what you do. Happy New Year ❣️🙏

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thank you!

[@zensvlognotapro]

@@JaysonGaddis welcome JD 🙏💛🤗

[@zensvlognotapro]

Our needs must b fulfilled all aspect but if our partner can't fill that needs , then be the one to complete you.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks!

[@rhonnieminnie]

I need space for imperfections. I need healthy conversation when something gets hard. i need to be fed when i start getting cranky.

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@craigzilla100]

What if you're partner has a deep rooted feeling of being unsafe that stems from childhood abandonment? I try and try to make her feel safe, but it's almost impossible to meet the very high maintenance need. She then gets resentful and says that I don't love her.. I just want respect and kindness, but because of her anger, I rarely get those.

[@JaysonGaddis]

deal with your own stuff. that will help

[@kathleentgilbert]

I need him to be more considerate of my feelings

[@JaysonGaddis]

I hear you

[@kathleentgilbert]

@@JaysonGaddis he's says that my feelings only get hurt because I interpret what he says wrong.... gaslighting huh?

[@madeinhisimage3447]

I need more show of desire from my partner like in the beginning.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Stay strong!

[@helloiamthechosenone]

I need soft and quiet communication

[@karinasol6476]

I need emotional intimacy , affection, communication

[@karenrye981]

I want more words, feelings. I feel so alone. One sided. It's his way, I'm just here. I know he loves me but a man is a no emotion, empathy, compassion, compliments? How who can wake him up

[@JaysonGaddis]

why do you stay?

[@daniellelowrey7805]

Yes definitely we have be ok with the uncomfortable feelings healing is work but I’m Worth working on myself I’m challenging myself to be a better person every day I need Communication connection respect support and understanding thank you so much you and your wife are amazing people ❤️

[@JaysonGaddis]

Glad you liked it!

[@janetshupak6745]

I need honesty even if it hurts

[@danilles.4247]

Do you have any videos on how to manage the fear that comes with stepping up with an unmet need? Feelings of fear, fear of rejection and intimacy, avoidance of confrontation, etc. Thank you for all your work

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yup you can find more content about it on my channel or check my podcast: relationshipschool.com/relationship-school-podcast/

[@weralia7917]

Very good video. I would like to know more about that topic.

[@brendasollers9750]

How do you get one on one with you?

[@helloiamthechosenone]

I need my partner to tell me their needs and not assume I can read their mind

[@heretolove2016]

When I ask for what I need, he says I'm just trying to control him....he feels like a puppet....

[@JaysonGaddis]

work on "how" you ask

[@Essa-o9o]

Don’t work on how you ask, if he decided he doesn’t want to do what you need then either don’t do anything he’s asking you for or leave, he won’t change, does t matter how you ask, so many times I’ve asked for what I needed, got upset about it, depressed, didn’t budge. Guys make up their own mind about who they make an effort with. If he isn’t making an effort especially with things you ask for then it’s time to go, don’t waste your time on men that will never give you what you need, doesn’t matter how many promises they make and how much time they’re asking for.

[@brendasollers9750]

I need support and respect and better communication and not get loud on each other commitment i need him to open up more show love and not saying it all the time

[@disillusioned8406]

I need a team mate who has my back!

[@JaysonGaddis]

we all do!

[@GraceAspinall]

I need respectful communication, I need to be heard

[@JaysonGaddis]

Stay strong!

[@jay-s9y1c]

I need to feel seen + heard.

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jay-s9y1c]

@@JaysonGaddis can u pls do a video on what steps a person can take to make a person feel seen + heard, what it looks like? + what happens when that need is not met, how it affects a person.

[@earthenergiesofhome1381]

I need growth, physical attraction and touch, to be in my integrity always and same with my partner, I need to be safe, I need kindness, I need support, I need my partner with me, I need love, I need to love my partner

[@JaysonGaddis]

Stay strong!

[@firecracker1857]

I need help within myself.

[@chadteigen7699]

I need affectionate and sexual touch, acceptance, emotional safety, i need to be challenged when im a tool.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Stay strong!

[@MMB667]

I need an emotionally supportive partner

[@JaysonGaddis]

me too. and I have one. go after it.

[@kennyliu5481]

I need to feel safe. Trust

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yes!

[@kennyliu5481]

@@JaysonGaddis I think the key to building trust is consistency.

[@karendenholm5763]

What about i Need hygiene, in the kitchen. For my partner to respect the food in the fridge, handle with hygiene, wash hands before touching food, just don't come in from being on the farm and pick at the food in the fridge, also package food correctly don't leave cans open in the fridge, put contents in a container. Dont leave meat in open packages. Package food correctly to put in the freezer so there's no freezer burn. These are my need as We share the cooking duties. I've asked my partner many times over a year and a half and he just thinks I'm being pedantic, he laughs at me and giggles and says he has done it for many years and has not been sick. So am I being unrealistic? Surly my need for hygiene and food care is respect for me and the food? Jayson can u help me, or anyone?

[@JaysonGaddis]

Hi Karen, get more support: www.jaysongaddis.com/coaching-questionnaire/

[@mimiwolfprincess]

I need compassion, validation and space to be my highly sensitive self without not being be shame about it,

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🙏🙏

[@rachelstevens5974]

I need to have an emotional connection with my partner

[@harrietbaker4484]

Presence

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙌🏼

[@jennagarrow2731]

I need comuncation

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yes!

[@goferlp7011]

I guess my wife is not willing to match my needs. I try. I try to support her always. like she want. I try to listen to her and buy what she wants. but when i want to buy something for ME she explode and scream at me. with very bad words. It's hard to continue to love her. but we have a 9 month old girl. She is not listening to me. And i really don't know what to do. I would broke up when we wouldn't have a child.

[@goferlp7011]

what is for example i say to her i need to smoke. (yes I'm smoking. ) because doesn't matter what happen I'm always calm. Simply because i have the cigarettes (I go outside smoke and totally calm ) and when I was stopping smoking i was unstable and it nearly cost my relationship. and she is saying i have to stop smoking. I know smoking is bad. but I fee that i need this.

[@chilloften]

@@goferlp7011 I enjoy smoking myself.

[@goferlp7011]

@@chilloften i dont smoke anymore. I go run 4 times a week and eat healthy. I lost 10 kg and my Kids are now 3 and 5. I love them and my wife. Evrything is great now.

[@shivadeva7113]

I need true emotional connection

[@destroyraiden]

My sister who is my friend is into the BS it's not my job to meet your needs when I tell her I need connection. She's like you're an adult so adults don't have needs BS but she seems to not notice all her needs she's constantly getting filled by me or others around her so to her it's ok if she has needs but not ok for me to have them. I hate it every time she uses that line what it says to me is I don't care about you if your needs involve me in any way. So now it seems like she's not my friend or my sister and I've lost both. Cuz to me a sister is a friend who you spend time with and have emotional and mental investment in.

[@JaysonGaddis]

I'm sorry to hear that :/

[@keilaniroyalty2340]

I need to be shown I’m Wanted attractive to my partner I need deep conversations understanding communication affection love time good energy intimacy

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏

[@sumamanjunath8501]

time

[@JaysonGaddis]

hope won't work

[@11towpro]

I need help my party to help me more

[@JaysonGaddis]

Get more support: www.jaysongaddis.com/coaching-questionnaire/

[@nandinimelodyn5723]

What if the person sayd they need porn, or alchohol?

[@JaysonGaddis]

leave

[@zaidaali7659]

I need touch..

[@CharleneCameron-iq4ec]

I need my wife to help me understand why I've got so depressed and gloomy

[@JaysonGaddis]

hmmm. a therapist or coach might bet better

[@Vanlifewithg]

I need to feel seen and heard without feeling I can’t be myself. I need validation.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Hey Alia, yes.. I know what u mean!!!

[@KitsyHiggins]

I need physical touch

[@JaysonGaddis]

we all do

[@brendasollers9750]

I NEED Growth

[@rimrifai5832]

I need emotional support 👍🏻

[@JaysonGaddis]

pls send us an email: [e-mail]

[@nandinimelodyn5723]

I need respect

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yes!

[@valeriedaub6948]

I need growth

[@JaysonGaddis]

🙏🏼

[@messagehartunian5826]

I need to have physical intimacy

[@JaysonGaddis]

great. so what are you doing about it?

[@autumndrinkard5766]

affection..communication

[@Cdonarumajr]

I need affection

[@JaysonGaddis]

Get more support! www.jaysongaddis.com/coaching-questionnaire/

[@kaywalsh440]

I need affection

[@JaysonGaddis]

seek it out