Jeremy Clarkson's Christmas Present to His Father 🎁

[@thegrandtour]

Who needs context to enjoy Clarkson's Farm? 👀 kzbin.infownrc03SXdU8

[@tony66au]

Not really, Jezza, Kaleb and other assorted extra characters kept me laughing and smirking throughout Season One just fine :-)

[@REDLINERUNNER]

Hilarious!!

[@joshuataylor3550]

Puts the same kind of preparation into his journalism.

[@begreat8947]

JEREMY CLARKSON is a RACIST MAN he was SINGING CATCH NI**A by its TOE and BEGGED for Forgiveness!!! CANCEL THIS MAN he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this KIND of behaviour

[@begreat8947]

JEREMY CLARKSON is a RACIST MAN he was SINGING CATCH NI**A by its TOE and BEGGED for Forgiveness!!! CANCEL THIS MAN he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this KIND of behaviour

[@katsaras1]

Let's be honest, very few people can tell a story as beautifully as Clarkson can

[@ifureadthisyourabaseball7395]

❤

[@TheSnedmeister]

❤ 💯 I'd listen to him all day. He should have a podcast

[@saysomestuff]

Imagine the same story in today's tiktok voice *shudders* Somydadhadapondandhisbirthdaywascomingup.....

[@suhair13]

​@@saysomestuff along with that incredibly fast music that gives you anxiety.

[@bookie5667]

WTF? Did you find any polyps up there? This is an old story, told by Jeremy on QI many years ago....

[@papawoody9597]

"I'll buy my dad some fish, how hard can it be?"

[@socarlo2]

What could possibly go wrong???

[@matthew_natividad]

@@socarlo2 still - could b worst

[@tlshortyshorty5810]

“Don’t say that!”

[@eugene531]

Jezza's dad: CLAAAAARKSOOOOOONN...

[@n0w3lly90]

Nevermind... could be worse! 😂

[@njabulomanukuza2228]

"My genius is almost tangible. . . It has a presence" - J. Clarkson

[@laimejannister5627]

in this case his genius is definitely frightening

[@strawberriesandcum]

Unlike the ghost fish

[@jefferyroy2566]

A ghostly genius, much like the carp.

[@dougsharpbest9576]

I really miss these guys on T.V. like the good old days!😢

[@jameshawk2470]

Never heard him say that one, and I’m stealing it lol

[@peepojungler1060]

''Sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening'' - Jeremy Clarkson

[@rizkisyarif14]

But this is literally frightening

[@maximegarcia9298]

As frightening as a ghost. He has an invisible genius that ate his visible genius.

[@BrickBuster2552]

Shhhtupidest ide'r in HISTORY.

[@bookie5667]

Was it genius getting sacked for getting drunk, punching his producer and calling him an Irish "c*nt"? How about getting sacked for saying Meghan Markle should be showered with shit ad she walks the streets? Was that genius too?

[@opeltheartist]

When he tied a log to the back of his car in the mountainous jungle 😂😂😂

[@MrLoobu]

The fact it was a thoughtful gift from son to father is extremely poetic.

[@theonescratchwonder6484]

You can tell by Clarksons personality his dad was not upset about this, he simply teased him for the rest of his life about it. I can almost guarantee this story was told on his death bed just so he could tease Clarkson one more time.

[@Bialy_1]

You have internet you can use it... "Ghost Carp mostly feed on insect larvae, mollusks and aquatic vegetation." Also even if somehow different carp would act like completly different fish you can use brain and end up with conclusion that this fish would also not eat every other fish in just one week. So you can tell that the whole story is not only fake but very unbelivable.

[@stepha5926]

​@@Bialy_1 damn straight 👌 Clarkson's made a career (literally) out of fooling morons into believing he's intelligent/ interesting.

[@S0n0fG0D]

​@@Bialy_1how dare you. Leave this land and never show your face

[@S0n0fG0D]

​@@Bialy_1 also they can occasionally eat carp. Just look up what they eat and you'll know I'm right.

[@openlyracist8055]

​@@Bialy_1 bears mostly feed on berries, but toss a dying struggling hairless monkey at them and they'll eat it too.

[@ralph5450]

Dad "Here son, meet your invisible dog."

[@javierhillier4252]

you mean skinwalker

[@Banana_boat]

It eats visable dogs?

[@theUnforgiven48]

Ah yes, an Hellhound

[@lemonize30]

"It bites intruders in ðe nuts"

[@troudbalos333]

Here is this invisible dog for your visible kids

[@MLPAbraxas1]

That's the most Jeremy Clarkson thing ive ever heard from the man lmao

[@commenter621]

Fr

[@TheyCallMeMrMaybe]

Clarkson's brilliance is limitless

[@commenter621]

Yay

[@bookie5667]

Yes. He's as brilliant as a broken light bulb.

[@nilsteegen33]

​@@bookie5667don't cry

[@AI_Paul]

That is so nice of him😊 Helping him clean his pond from those fish.

[@taebby78]

Young Clarkson buying ghost carp: "What could possibly go wrong?"

[@CardyBoy]

Buying your dad the right Christmas present. How hard can it be?

[@DramOfScience]

Not researching the fish story involves an artificially created breed that did not exist before Y2K.

[@Emppu_T.]

managing a fish pond, how hard can it be.

[@johnnygray2801]

"Don't say that!" - Young Hammond

[@iandocherty5278]

​@@DramOfScience i hope reading this in the correct way. If I am and I've needed to ask makes me just as silly as them

[@englishjona6458]

Jeremy taught me to embrace my incompetence as it makes for wonderful memories

[@Mandassina]

I love this turn of phrase...embrace my incompetence...I'll have to remember that every time I do something that makes me feel like an idiot.

[@fredericlepeltier3435]

@@Mandassina i tottaly agree with both statements !

[@Mandassina]

@@fredericlepeltier3435 I'm so glad you commented on this, as I had forgotten it, and just recently found I needed to be reminded.

[@LS_MB]

@@Mandassinacommenting incase you need another reminder :)

[@Mandassina]

@@LS_MB What a lovely, thoughtful thing to do for a complete stranger (some might say I'm stranger than most)! I actually haven't forgotten to embrace my incompetence because I wrote it down and it sits on my desk. I did, however, forget Jeremy's story, so this time I got a great laugh out of that! Thank you!

[@Vladpryde]

"Let's not get bogged down....with WHOOOO killed dad's carp...."

[@EvilKustoms]

Literally LOLd mate pmsl

[@dannop2562]

In Clarkson’s voice… 😂

[@delayed_control]

This is definitely a Jeremy Clarkson moment.

[@Hallowedwanderer]

This man is a f*cking legend. Long live The Jezza!!!!!

[@DragonsAndDragons777]

We need more hilarious stories like this

[@MurderNine]

with animations

[@IDontExistAnymore]

Not sure if describe that as a hilarious story. It's mildly amusingly

[@TCBabcock]

Hilarious? It's sad and unfortunate.

[@Shadewraith0529]

His show on Amazon farming with Clarkson is where he told his story.

[@edmontonlivermoore4935]

@@IDontExistAnymorethis is why you don’t get invited to the barbecues

[@sasukesarutobi3862]

"My dad used to love his fish pond, and also Pac-man. So I had a plan..."

[@nitrobilder12]

This is more them Platinum quality

[@MrDjsmooth87]

Priceless comment 👌

[@dyaanahmad5079]

Underrated Comment

[@Jaysimmons405]

Great story but ghost carp do not eat other carp🤦‍♂️

[@tarekaouimeur4876]

CLARKSOOOOOOON! his dad probably 😅

[@peteroz7332]

or maybe... JUNIOOOOOOR... ‼️‼️

[@gonun69]

JEEEEREEMYYYYYY

[@briank13579]

But they’re both Clarkson…

[@headhunter531]

JEREMMEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY

[@G0RSHK0V]

clarkSON

[@BawlzOfuzz]

This is why making memories with your family is more important than staying angry. Clarkson you clever man!

[@DarePerfect]

I could listen to Jermey telling stories for hours

[@TheKingDrew]

Jeremy’s dad seems like such a nice genuine dude that he really looked up too

[@brainscott8198]

"...he was dead chuffed..." I'm dead as well.🤣🤣

[@That-one-person_]

Jeremy is so generous 😂😂😂

[@marijaparlov2101]

I do not think I would ever be able to forget this short.

[@griffenfamily11]

lmao🤣🤣🤣🤣 "I bought him an invisible fish that killed his visible fishs

[@tiga1079]

Yeah we heard the video too

[@michaelrogers7386]

​@@tiga1079 I love u

[@Johnketes54]

Same as he road tested a quick BMW and was disappointed with it until he discovered it was in ECONOMY MODE

[@PastorBrianLantz]

Reminds me of Washington DC in all its ignominious imbecility

[@aczeartk7032]

I knew immediately where this was going...

[@BNWOCHUD]

After a while you just know the tone and setting of these story's and where they will end up

[@beninem8600]

No one could of seen where this was going

[@jimmypee8404]

It's bollocks too. Ghost carp aren't predatory and no bigger than other ornamental carp.

[@andrecostermans7109]

Yep, JC lying between his teeth .

[@jimmypee8404]

@@andrecostermans7109 anyone with an ounce of intelligence knows that ghost carp are not predatory. Only tory scum fall for his lies.

[@Xyd641]

He's a unique human being lol 🤣 Merry Christmas everyone 😀 ❤️🎄

[@Alpacayourbags]

I love when Jeremy talks about his dad, he really loved that man!

[@yigithan3713]

We couldn't expect less than Jeremy. Mad lad...

[@kar4tube]

Jeremy's brilliance started at an early age! 😄

[@DreadEnder]

My invisible dad must have killed my visible dad because I haven’t seen him since I was born

[@Kraven83]

Ooof

[@greyngo]

Chill. He just needs to find milk and/or smokes to turn visible again.

[@sablanex]

​@greyngo so that's what milk is for.

[@stumbling]

xD

[@caveman7921]

Didn't just kill him.. he ate him

[@paulp1a]

"Dad, it's the thought that counts" 😂

[@angielala9453]

And Chimeras ate everything … lol 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 you are a funny old man 😂❤😂

[@pranavtagore]

When your dad realises that it's actually better that your kid doesn't do shit .

[@Thinkingnamesishard]

Yeah... every dad knows this. We just allow you to ruin our things

[@tyronewhitehead3123]

I enjoy listening to Jeremy and his memories of his dad

[@yogidarmendra661]

I am not enjoy about his porsche 928 story. I cried

[@bensmith5231]

Agreed 👍 👍

[@myasin1286]

I love Clarkson‘a sledgehammer approach when doing things. Don’t think about just do it and deal with the consequences later 😂

[@Emppu_T.]

that's not gone well.

[@Emppu_T.]

his genius truly knows no bounds.

[@POPPYTHERED]

Clarkson your the best mate ❤️👏🏻

[@nunyabeeswax2575]

Thanks for so much for your very thoughtful gift son.......

[@larrynason8716]

No good deed goes unpunished.

[@born2biscuit]

No act of charity goes unresented

[@omoplata100]

I love this man so much. Thank you for everything Mr. Clarkson.

[@yachtymadness1446]

About the usual level of accomplishment Mr Clarkson! 😆

[@Explorer_1997]

The way he tells a story every time ❤

[@markc1844]

Your a Legend Jeremy! & we love you!❤❤❤❤

[@sportsboyjon]

I just love listening to clarkson tell stories. Hes so casually hilarious!

[@charlescook1749]

It's Christmas Eve and you have no idea how much I needed this laugh right now. Merry Christmas all.

[@catface3473]

🎅

[@haroldseaman4243]

Kids this is how you make family memories.

[@honorrolls5415]

Great story. How we miss our parents

[@overthetip]

Jeremy is an amazing story teller. Clever and funny.

[@susiejones3634]

You never disappoint, dear Jeremy. 😆

[@jimkid1392]

Well. He obviously did once according to the story.

[@jsav6058]

@@jimkid1392 Severely unfunny

[@jimkid1392]

@@jsav6058 When was I trying to be funny? My statement is based on what the video told me.

[@jsav6058]

@@jimkid1392 Whats the point of your comment then?

[@jimkid1392]

@@jsav6058 Who are you, the comment police? Who gave you permission to comment on my comment?

[@DEVhnAIR]

His dad : sometimes your genius … it’s almost frightening (Probably how he got the line Xd)

[@VoidDragon82]

Who's betting that he still blamed Hammond, even though he didn't even know that the Hamster existed at that point! 🤣

[@charlesmcgehee3227]

You are a good son. Great way to get even with Dad.

[@the_original_Bilb_Ono]

To be fair, this is the best present Clarkson ever gave to anybody...

[@DS-uj3bt]

His dad: CLAAAAAAAARKSSOOOOON!!!!!!!!

[@ajithkumar1136]

his narrating 😂😂😂

[@artmoore1917]

This is how a love/ hate relationship works

[@LukeAmick.]

I could sit down and listen to all of his stories, he’s a good storyteller

[@frankied.2364]

That's Jeremy's GENIUS!!

[@ReefMimic]

As a kid I thought I’d do something nice for my mom and wash her Mercedes. Grabbed some water, soap, and a sponge and started doing circular motions like the karate kid (it was a popular movie at the time) wax on wax off. Apparently washing a Mercedes with a sos pad is frowned upon :(

[@20chocsaday]

Try a high pressure water sprayer. It takes off the dirt, then the gloss layers. You keep trying to get the dirt that is spoiling the gloss finish and get through to the undercoat.

[@natgrant1364]

Ouch.

[@natgrant1364]

@@20chocsaday : Ouch to this comment as well. :(

[@hydeparkist]

@@20chocsaday The time machine is more expensive then the pressure washer...

[@MrArtVein]

Mercedes Benz your butt over for an arse whoopin

[@bluntedbuffalo420]

when it's the thought that counts takes on a whole new meaning

[@johngalt5205]

CLARKSON!

[@thegrandtour]

"CLARKSON!" 😅 kzbin.info6q3kLJPXHhM

[@quartusbuys6831]

BRING HIS SHOW BACK!

[@tireballastserviceofflorid7771]

That story has to be true. Awesome...

[@DarrenHarrison7160]

We need more Clarkson and the lads on the Tele lol

[@turbotek-wj8vc]

I loved this story! Jeremy is dealing with carping of a different kind at the moment, this was great.

[@shaneanderson1036]

Never let any good deed go unpunished . 🎉

[@jt8936]

Oh god i love Jeremys stories..

[@PeppyCat210]

You can tell it’s a fond memory for him

[@G1FB0X]

This is by far the funniest and most upsetting thing I’ve ever seen, I feel so sorry for him, he thought he was giving his dad something good.

[@jk69420]

Only after the whole shorts I knew that 'carp' is a type of fish

[@BaronRodney]

You've never heard of carp before? What about Magic carp bro from pokemon?

[@한규성-c2s]

lol yeah

[@BNWOCHUD]

All of you read a book PLEASE

[@20chocsaday]

Gon fishin.

[@Blurrybob]

I know carp from Sekiro

[@loudnessjr]

his genius is sometimes terrifying

[@oldschool8432]

Love his story tellen. I need more acutely

[@jancross9226]

So good of you!

[@paulabonin3637]

My grandmother came down to south Louisiana when I was a kid and fell in love with the water lilies because they were blooming and were very pretty. She wanted to bring some home for her pond and, even though my father warned her not to, she did. By the next year at the same time her pond was completely covered by water lilies. She had to pay someone to come clean out her pond but never got rid of the lilies. She didn’t think they were pretty any more. Unforeseen consequences.

[@Nicole19989]

Really? Could you explain that? 😮

[@MrChrisgilbert1977]

Was it at that point your Dad said never to buy him a gift again? 😂x

[@flangecorp9789]

I’ve just shared this with a few people, he’s got quite a brilliant economy of words!

[@Cmorganti1327]

Omg!!! I love your farm series!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤

[@christiano8088]

Anything JC does or says is hilarious. We miss him on main stream tv.

[@deanromania6748]

This really sounds like something he would do.

[@intellex551]

Aside from the fact that ghost carp are pretty easy to see and don't eat other carp, this was a great story.

[@dayontapout]

This might be my favorite story ever. The other story was one he told on old Top Gear. About bringing his mom food near the end of his dad's life. That story really touched me. JC has some amazingly relatable stories.

[@annbounds7087]

That's a great story!

[@badgerapocalyps2546]

That's the most Jeremy Clarkson thing ever Lol. Just like the time I bought my ex some roses. The florist included a few lilies (I could see they weren't roses but didn't know what they were). I give her the flowers and she freaks out accusing me of trying to murder her cat, Baby. Turns out that chewing on lilies can be fatal to cats, who knew?

[@supertuscans9512]

If the cat had died then two pussies would have been dead to you.😂

[@YrCleddyf]

As a fisherman, Ghost carp don't really eat other fish (they will eat fish eggs and baby fish though) They're usually really Silver/White or Pale Yellow in colour hence the name "ghost" carp so they are pretty easy to spot in the water compared to other species like common, leather or mirror carp.

[@BUSHCRAPPING]

All those carp you mentioned including ghost are the exact same species. It's like dog breeds, same species but bred differently by humans

[@YrCleddyf]

@@BUSHCRAPPING True, I suppose breed would have been a better term to use.

[@wynstonsmyth6425]

And to think Amazon have just cancelled their highest ever rating show as Clarkson was too truthful about Markle.

[@dannis8552]

Which show?

[@theitguy2731]

Crazy if true

[@DIEGhostfish]

@@dannis8552 This and Grand Tour both.

[@dannywhite132]

"Too truthful". How does asking her to be publicly paraded through the streets and shamed simply because he doesn't like her and her husband calling out toxic culture even sound reasonable in your head 😂😂😂

[@wynstonsmyth6425]

@dannywhite132 Cry harder somewhere else champ. The left and sarcasm, the two shall never meet

[@albertusaswin2012]

His genius is off the chart

[@tommyrp14tp]

Honestly the thought that was put into by his son that was what his dad really cared about

[@hobodarkness7696]

Dam it be like that bro :/

[@SriramSivakumar-iz3nu]

Doesnt matter what story it is Jeremy can tell it beautifully.😂😂

[@virusnson3979]

Dad + fishing = happy childhood :)

[@Vanisnext]

I hope his dad wasnt too upset, thats a really nice thing to do

[@outthasky]

Clarkson was so much Clarkson before any of us knew just how much Clarkson was Clarkson.

[@ivaforlund]

Another sign of clarksons fierce brilliance

[@jaynefinley]

F*cking hilarious. Thanks for posting.

[@TYLOTYLOTYLO]

Jeremy is my hero

[@ricksimon9867]

He has always been 70 at heart, and now he looks like it.

[@SlayerSelections]

😂😂😂 😂😂 beautiful and invisible what could. Go wrong! Can't stop laughing

[@DeniseFiore-h5j]

Love his farming show!!!