Jerma Streams - Hitman 2

[@blumberde8726]

my favorite parts are when he just goes silent and just does some unspeakably evil deed

[@Emily-pd2hi]

I once met Jerma *I.R.L* (O.M.G!) at a 7-Eleven. I was on a road-trip to Montana with a couple of college-mates. I remember walking into the store, and he was just standing there straight as an arrow behind the counter, and staring straight ahead as if he completely wasn’t interested in the fact that I had entered the store. This is weird because he was only menacingly standing there, and not seeming to be doing anything. I ignored the sensation of my hackles standing up on ends, cleared my throat and walked inside. (My fursona is a dog, so I have hackles instead of the hair that I believe that most normal people have instead of hackles because they’re humans, and not dogs.) It’s worth noting that I seemed to have been alone in the store with Jerma at that moment because my friends had went to avail themselves of the noxious lavatory of the gas-station for micturition. I walked up to the counter behind which Jerma was position. (Notice that I said that he was *positioned* there instead of standing there. That’s what it felt as to me.) I cleared my throat again as his pupils seemed glazed, and did’t seem to come into focus as I should’ve come into view for him, and said, “Hey, Jermy, I didn’t know you worked part time at 7-Eleven.” His eyes were still glazed. I tried to rid us of the awkward feeling that Jerma was emanating. “So- Do they sell McChickens at 7-Eleven now or what?” I chuckled. His eyes seemed to almost glow like phosphorous as the glaze over it disappeared at the mention of the name of a menu-item from his favourite restaurant. “The Hotdog-Man.” He said almost in a whisper. “What?” “The Hotdog-Man.” He repeated. “Who’s the Hotdog-Man?” I asked as a sense of unease began to amass within my loins. “No more McChickens. The Hotdog-Man came, and ordered all of them.” “Uh- O.K?” I said as I didn’t know how to react to this psychedelic revelation that was being delivered to me by Jerma985. His eyes darted pass me. “Do you want some hotdogs?” He pointed one long bony finger over my shoulder. I turned around to see that he was pointing at a set of hotdogs that were deliciously sweating, and glowing as they were being turned by the machine. “Uh- I gue-“ Jerma didn’t let me finish what I wanted to say as he suddenly spoke up again. “Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausages? Daddy would you like some sausage?” He began to spastically chant psychotically. At this point I felt that I was in mausoleum danger, and I only wanted to thumb it out of that horrid 7-Eleven as quickly as possible. “O.K! O.K! I’ll take the bloody saus- hotdogs!” His tantrum seemed to quell as my placating words finally reached him. He went over and fetched me two dogs that he each wedged betwixt two disproportionately oversized buns that you could tell weren’t meant to go along with those types of dogs. Then, he sloppily spurted ketchup and mustard all over the hotdogs, and some of it got on my brand new St. John sweater that my boyfriend had bought for me last Christmas. But I didn’t say anything because I had a horrible feeling in my loins that I wouldn’t be here writing to you today if I did. However, I couldn’t help, but be bothered that he had put sprayed mustard all over two perfectly good hotdogs. “Um- I didn’t want mustard.” A feeling of dread overcame me, and I immediately knew that I had made a sarcophagus mistake after the moment that I’d unmoored those words from my chapped lips in. A completely deranged expression dawned on Jer, a’s face as my words seemed to resonate through the entire store. He maintained complete eye-contact as he no longer seemed dissociated due to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and he seemed to be meatgrindering me with his eyes. He reached under the counter, and slowly produced a fresh clean plastic knife, and slowly scraped the mustard off of the dogs with it until only small streaks of yellow were left in the ketchup. His facial expression somehow seemed even more deranged all-the-while. It took years of training to control my gag-reflex to keep myself from retching then, and there as I watched him commit some unspeakably evil deed. “That will be $25.50.” He said, the deranged expression still stuck on his face all-the-while. It was needless to say that I paid the price in full despite my qualms about it obviously being a stickup. I was three quarters metre away from the sliding transparent door when I heard the familiar voice again from behind me. “Are you sure you don’t want to buy some chapsticks? They’re only $3.99. You look like you could use some to keep those lips moist. That’s what Hydration Bot used to say before I banned him! ‘Keep those lips moist!’ They give you a pretty good high too if you use them enough.”

[@salami2478]

@@Emily-pd2hiWHAT I LOVE THIS WHOLE HORROR STORY WRITTEN THE DEDICATION

[@JacobKinsley]

​@@Emily-pd2hireally? I met jerma at a petsmart and I just said "hi, you're jerma aren't you" and he said "yeah! Nice to meet a fan in public!" and we went our own ways.

[@ultimategrungo]

Jerma is to that flamingo suit what Eddie Brock is to the symbiote

[@navandozer]

Only Jerma can make the tutorial level as difficult as a boss fight

[@pimenjoyer.221]

A journalist but funny.

[@olyophogrific]

​@@pimenjoyer.221 a journalist but furry

[@nopenope6034]

4:05:23 homer simpson scream that destroys Jerma's train of thought.

[@Deadener]

It destroyed me. I nearly passed out from laughing.

[@JermaStreamArchive]

Game Starts 5:55 1st Brb Ends 57:46 2nd Brb Ends 1:07:24 3rd Brb Ends 2:11:00

[@Wolo-lo]

holy shit, bless u man

[@goblinzits]

Favorite moment - 3:06:00 The fact that Jerma is silent during this makes it infinitely more funny.

[@deluxegolem4012]

This guy is fucked

[@igneousflame2131]

PSYCHOPATH

[@jonatgan8546]

literally unironically terrifying. just the silent resolve to fry those three people laying on the floor.

[@UseZapCannon]

I sincerely can't tell when Jerma's just being obtuse or when he's playing the game wrong on purpose just to rile up chat

[@thegirlwiththemouseyhair6486]

Jimmy De'Souza well jesus

[@Lagomorph27]

Why does it matter?

[@smkanim2009]

How can he be so obtuse? Is it deliberate?

[@billbo8327]

8 months later someone would finally get your shawshank reference

[@TemmiePlays]

@Jimmy De'Souza latter means the second thing, former means the first. your comment makes excatly 0 sense.

[@emanuel0831]

"what's aiming down here? is it a disco ball or is this something i need to pay atten-" "YOU HAVE BEEN RECORDED BY A SECURITY CAMERA"

[@markus-a-railius]

"Diane. If I stop talking... and drank too much chloroform,... tell my son his trust fund password is '1111'."

[@alexeverett308]

Imagine being the sniper on the Mumbai level. A guy stands in front your target the whole time so you never have a chance to take the shot, they go out of sight for a second and then you see the guy dumping your target's dead body over a railing.

[@familyplayer1]

I find it funny how this game is the anti-thesis to Jerma’s whole way of thinking. He doesn’t ever realize who his targets are or how sinks work I guess

[@ryanm.8720]

You'd think Jerma would get a hang of Hitman 2 after finishing the previous game.

[@snkybrki]

He really does stumble upon every single target.

[@Emily-pd2hi]

Antithesis* Anti-thesis is something that people can’t but merely argue against me pronouncing the way that I do because you separated the prefix from the word by hyphenating it. I think that the only reason that some people pronounce it the way that they do is because it’s a compound word, and that you effectively stripped away their rationale by spelling it that way.

[@Jerry_Bean]

​@@Emily-pd2hi hey Emily, I'll fight you

[@FranciumBoron]

​@@Jerry_BeanGrammar peasant Andy.

[@ev3rst0rm]

I love how he accidentally wakes up all 3 band members required at the end of the story mission on his quest to find a wrench just to start the story mission

[@kaizerdeath12]

I'm ready to start rubbing my temple whenever he starts complaining about something the game clearly told him but he was too busy making a joke to notice.

[@yalltoiletsbtalkinshit9912]

kaizerdeath12 no, that’s when you’re supposed to take a shot of tequila.

[@_KRose]

take a shot every time jerma misses something because he's reading chat (don't do that you will die for sure)

[@LordEptar]

@@_KRose I got advanced stages of cirrhosis just thinking about this.

[@virgil2461]

"hey man I got some VIP tickets here" "aw man how do I get into VIP??"

[@Jb-db5kj]

There was a bit in the first game where he was looking through his weapon wheel for an item, stopped ON the item he was looking for, looked directly at it and said “uhhh it’s not here” he was NOT joking

[@calypso819]

I play the instrumental to Ave Maria on loop every time I watch Jerma play this. The classy mixed with the stupidity makes for a great combination. It works for pretty much all classical music but Ave Maria is just so fitting it's unbelievable.

[@TheRealRusDaddy]

I fucking cried laughing when he shot that first guy in the Santa Fortuna town and no one saw.

[@Knucklehead211]

Dwarf plots elaborate mind control scheme to watch the latest Marvel movie with his non-existent family, then commits suicide with a car battery

[@Anomalocaria]

5:33:59 lol. imagine the Kasmirian's reaction. he's seconds away from pulling the trigger and an innocent painter walks into the line of fire. he's livid: "damn! get out of the way!" then the painter whips out a gat and drills his target in the head and he's like ".. oh... oh, alright, then."

[@schlumpkin]

The moment Jerma yelled "wife" when he died the first time made me realize the true sanity of this man. The depravity of mankind. Sickening.

[@GreenShark4]

1:33:39 "Oh? You're approaching me?"

[@rockstarmanboss]

Watching jerma play hitman is like watching a toddler drown in a swimming pool

[@aniyilator]

So you partake in watching toddlers drown in swimming pools? 👮‍♂️

[@Figgy_Jub]

Yea, I watch Jerma everyday

[@emptywindexbottle97]

Infuriating but also fun

[@_P2M_]

I know. It's extremely entertaining.

[@JacobKinsley]

​@@aniyilator What're you in for? Watching a toddler drown in a swimming pool

[@Comrade_Nils]

2:25:48 Love how the guard is just standing there, watching Jerma's shenanigans in complete disbelief. I would have that exact same reaction.

[@Darthoblivion24]

5:35:00 "Nah just leave him" -35 seconds later opens the door- "Who found him?!"

[@PlamTreeCartoons]

Flavorbird the Pink Boy is now my favorite thing.

[@enbybunny9940]

Been five years @PlamTreeCartoons is it still your favorite?

[@vhs2vcr]

i hope he still is 🦩

[@PlamTreeCartoons]

I'll stick my neck out and say that I still like Flavorbird even after the whole controversy, I mean yes he has some radical political beliefs but I can look past that

[@clem-1917]

How does he always manage to break games in the most hilarious of ways?

[@Apodeipnon]

his psyche is too unpredictable

[@darrenh55755]

He is blessed. Or cursed depending on how you look at it.

[@YFMFan1]

Cause he is Jerma lol

[@thegoodideasgonewrongarchi281]

Hit me with a time stamp

[@aaalicethegoat]

Jermagic

[@stabbymcstab5]

The virgin blueberry vs the chad lemon lime

[@enbybunny9940]

‘Virgin blueberry’ sounds like a euphemism

[@galaxyaj4256]

I love how theres only 90 comments, most of them remarking their disbelief in how oblivious jerma is towards... everything.

[@mikotoh]

genuinely dont understand how people can get so upset watching someone else play a video game for fun. its like... secondhand frustration. wild.

[@hypnotoad311]

“Mumbai is dangerous. The gang members are on high alert for anybody they don’t recognize.” 47: Is the only bald white guy in at least 400km This should work out just fine

[@ryanm.8720]

"Why did I kill this guy? ...I dunno." - Jerma, Hit Man Too (November 14th, 2018) 1:28:37

[@ollieolympus517]

Jesus that part in Colombia were he wouldn't hide the body in the bush with the other guy

[@RockLegend2A]

Got really fucking mad for a moment after he killed the two bodyguards and walked off. I thought he was gonna continue that failure of a run.

[@PASTELXENON]

so annoying

[@DUKEHadToDoItToEm]

Wow Jerma actually loses the game in the tutorial mission before a single enemy even arrives. I've never been more impressed with someone's gaming skill

[@diavolette]

this man is the human embodiment of classic labrador chaotic stupid energy and i adore it

[@highhat5229]

3:15:44 What did you do, hand the controller to Joel?

[@dynamovolition33]

The sniper rifle part really was just so frustrating

[@Anomalocaria]

i read this before i saw it - then it started happening and i was like 'uh oh lol' why doesn't anybody _tell him?_ i mean, i understand what Twitch chats are like, but he takes advice from chat all the time and it's always the _worst_ possible advice rofl

[@Joltman11]

@@Anomalocaria Plenty of people were telling him, he just seemed to literally only notice the troll answers and not the ones saying he screwed up and wasn't supposed to kill the assassin.

[@jaffawaffa8897]

the haggling for the dress material killed me XD

[@PASTELXENON]

Jerma doesn't remember there's certain guard types that can see through your disguise?

[@Lusiggy]

Something about his voice or his tone In this one, at least at the beginning, reminds me of 2014 jerma

[@Colon-D...]

2018 jerma let 2014 jerma out of the basement to make a final stream

[@Anonymouthful]

Jerma is so easily impressed.

[@JaycodaJr]

3:06:00 creativity kills *looks off into the distance after killing three people with overflowing sink water and a battery.*

[@spunchbob6520]

i kinda like the cutscenes, it fits with the minimalistic style of the game

[@Anomalocaria]

minimalistic? it has more stealth mechanics than the AC games, detailed maps with incredible NPC density, and dozens of storied ways to complete each mission. it's pretty elaborate lol not to mention that the story itself reads like an anime - and we all know how minimalist those tend to be rofl. most of it is told in other media though, so i suppose it's not really 'part of the game.' not directly, anyway.

[@spunchbob6520]

@@Anomalocaria i meant stylistically in terms of ART with the menus/cutscenes. i haven't played the game so i don't really care about whatever else you mentioned. also 1 year old comment lmfao

[@Anomalocaria]

@@spunchbob6520 you haven't played the game, but you've watched hours relevant content and only managed to develop an opinion on the menu design. makes sense. funny thing about text. sticks around for a while. don't post retarded shit if you don't want people finding it later lol

[@stonwall9065]

@@spunchbob6520 Welcome back, another year later

[@MOUPIMOUPI]

1:12 for sans noise

[@uwuifyingransomware]

Thank you for this vital information

[@Jud]

Jermas iq never ceases to amaze me

[@Gameguy90]

5:58:40 mota belle

[@shoganflamemasta3975]

1:33:36 Fruity loops bird showdown

[@suspicious_soup]

"brick users don't use wrench" he always had a way with words rip

[@Anomalocaria]

i love how the people in Mumbai were upset about him throwing something on the ground on a beach made of _literal garbage_ lol

[@enbybunny9940]

5:18:23 Of course Jerma “The Zerker” Elbertson would ask such a lecherous question.

[@whosaprettykitty5076]

I have the perfect description of Jerma -when you’re watching a movie with a parent or a grandparent, and they constantly talk during the scenes and seem to ALWAYS miss the most important details of the movie, so you, trying to pay attention to both the movie AND your chattering parent/grandparent and have to keep relaying the details of movie to them Ya love ‘em to pieces, but god, sometimes you just wanna tell them to shut up and pay attention

[@giga9849]

lol yeah

[@flippisni]

Watching him bumble through the missions is extremely entertaining, I love the idea of an incredibly inept hitman ALWAYS getting the perfect timeline through the dumbest means possible

[@Jud]

Time to waste 6 hours of my life

[@yalltoiletsbtalkinshit9912]

pyroleaf a waste???? Hardly!

[@ethohalfslab]

How were those 6 hours? :3

[@Jud]

@@ethohalfslab i was at school it starts now comment in 6 hours

[@MrTtawesome]

comment

[@Jud]

@@MrTtawesome it was amazing best hours of my life since i was born

[@Sentom23]

2:37:37 wtf was that noise?

[@strawberrylemonadelioness]

I think all the disguises Agent 47 has really adds to the gameplay experience

[@swishtango5468]

Camera bit made me sub

[@enbybunny9940]

Why is it that the moment I take my eyes off this e-clown for a second he fucks up the whole mission

[@moRULEZ18981]

24:32 The murderer of Santa Claus is still at large

[@dongatello6969]

It took me until him getting a double statue kill to realize that we have the exact same playstyle in this game

[@kierepearce1441]

2:19:02 - Director of the Academy Award-winning film _Parasite,_ *Bong Jeremy-ho.*

[@bearlyhardley]

Until this stream I wasn’t even aware that it was possible to get zero stars on a level

[@ieatassforfun]

2:47:05 POG CHAMP

[@havenandaura]

Since it was brought up near the beginning: Agent 47 is canonically Romanian, as he was born in an asylum in Romania, and Romania considers you a citizen when born there like most countries.

[@Meladjusted]

Jerma's version of Hitman isn't about trying to skillfully off someone without raising suspicion, it's about just making sure ANYONE who saw ANYTHING dies or that their AI gets too confused from running after him in circles and stops targeting.

[@MandenTV]

6:57 humorous sound

[@antond12312]

4:26:25

[@JioVega]

"Throw bricks at people" -Jerma

[@aagh8714]

mission called blank cheque subtitles says blank check

[@JaycodaJr]

1:04:20 oh BROTHER, this guy STINKS!!!

[@joe-sc2ff]

5:58:28 simpson character scream

[@antond12312]

Its a shame he didnt play any of the patient zero campaign.

[@ryanm.8720]

Hokkaido's "Patient Zero" would be perfect for Jerma, since anyone and everyone who gets infected is a target, and Jerma tends to forget who his targets are.

[@figgypuddingthefantastic]

5:40 save

[@ihatenwo]

5:11:32 lmao this sequence is straight outta Johnny Eglish series.

[@Guille-mz7xf]

There is absolutely no way a dude would walk in into a cartel village dressed like that and not get instantly savaged, or he would at least be noticed by the locals

[@rooroo9216]

5:55:41 But there’s like flipping 4 of them!

[@heratulok6183]

Z A P

[@KingEhrys98]

It hurts way less when I play music over it and look away from the screen.

[@KingEhrys98]

Every time he does something I flinch.

[@latiostech8822]

I love how everything that happens in games jerma plays seem specifically scripted for him

[@KingEhrys98]

5:50:24 Even the computer though that was dumb.

[@ihatenwo]

5:13:09 - 5:13:12 Psycho moment

[@bulletbill5977]

360p crew

[@travmann]

dawood sandstorm

[@Swagmaster65]

Swear to God, Jerma could walk into a closet and lose track of the door. Actually an NPC.

[@ihatenwo]

4:04:45 Sometimes I really thjnk Jerma might be batshit insane fr

[@SPiderman-rh2zk]

1:08:59 IM DEADDDD

[@Grabbax]

Why is he so unbelievably bad impatient and oblivious

[@solharv7817]

ADHD

[@gohmenghan4365]

Jerma’s pea brain is hella struggling

[@WaterZer0]

You can hear the fan speeding up and smell the smoke.

[@ihatenwo]

5:58:28 AAH

[@figgypuddingthefantastic]

4:28:43 save ageaashhhfdd

[@Aquana01]

I will keep watching these streams forever

[@PASTELXENON]

Why didn't jerma just use the locker

[@Baba-yv6ml]

What if that coma comment was actually targeted towards me? Or YOU!

[@ihatenwo]

5:11:16 Seriously, I played Hitman 2 for hundreds of hours and ADHD psycho streamer taught me this trick lol Long live Jermo

[@TheLastWanderingBard]

Is Jerma incapable of drinking his drink quietly as well as playing the game properly?

[@TheDsRequiem]

Stfu you lil bitch

[@Superboologan1]

Jeremy Elbertson: And the Quest for Patience

[@sirprize5191]

3:55:27 the car crash chaos. I don't know if that's realistic or racist of some sorts. Also from the previous scene imagine the man of culture emanating from saying you reside in a labyrinth

[@doomdude3034]

My game ran in near-max settings on my 980 just fine... there's no way Jerma doesn't have something better than that

[@eccomi21]

I swear I never know if his behavior is deliberate and he just wants to confuse and provoke people, or if he is actually as dumb and incapable as he sometimes appears to be.

[@Baba-yv6ml]

Hitman 1 GOTY? Wutface

[@rooroo9216]

4:55:27 you look like one of the Peaky Blinders now xD

[@TheDoor616]

god hes so bad

[@therealdoc]

tjcr He’s a unique comedian and also tries to interact with chat as much as possible. You can’t expect him to be funny, good at the game, and interact with chat all at he same time. It’s a pick two situation pretty much.

[@TheDoor616]

@@therealdoc you seen this dude play Point Blank??? dont give me that shit...

[@comradezvezda]

@@TheDoor616 what the hell are you even saying

[@TheDsRequiem]

@@comradezvezda hes saying that he's one of those people who feel compelled to "sit and scream at their monitor" while they watch people play games.

[@johnjowari7128]

Lots of people are "bad" at this game though. The one who's very good at this game are not that entertaining to watch imo. Thats why i watched Jerma, Cr1tikal or Delirious. Atleast he's not xQc, i love the guy but his Hitman game is such a mess.

[@FrannB]

5:07:00

[@realjosephjoestar5402]

3:31:00

[@therealspiroagnew818]

1:30:34

[@NefariousBear]

4:05:23

[@TrinityUnofficial]

5:34:10