Jessica’s Caregiver Training

[@robbinzaffino6551]

Val, I can see it in your eyes as a mom how much you wanted for Jess.. I did ABA for years and my Buddy is now 23 year's old. Where I live there isn't programs for adults and he is Non Verbal and has Severe OCD and Behaviors. I told his mom today that I wish I had the Stamina to HELP them. This past year with him being home has been so hard not only for parents but for him. The Structure and Anxiety has been 10 fold and what was learned has been lost do to that, of course there's always the Maybe... I watch your videos all the time and I'm so impressed with how well Jess does and how well you all Incorporate life with Jess. Sure, we don't see the melt downs as we shouldn't, that's personal but You All work so well together even on the hard day's. I know my Buddies momma is exhausted, she works full time as a Chemo Nurse and has her own Health Issues just like you do and I just want You to know this, You Guy's are my Hero's... The Strength is something many who don't live this life Understand and Never Will... Thank You for Sharing this Journey with all of us. I know it's easy for Us to say, Please take care of you, take time for You because you can't pour from an empty cup but many day's you do just that, pour from any Empty Cup. Because your a MOM, Because You Care and Because You Know better than Anyone what Jess needs.... Very Gentle Hug's to you all and so much Love from Chicago....

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you! ❤️

[@Lwhritenour23]

Not that you even know who I am robbin but I wanted to thank you for being in ABA ... It's truly life changing my son is 5 and it's solely because of ABA that he is doing so well now my heart is to sensitive t do it or I would lol I can't imagine building such meaningful relationships with these kids then they're just gone ughhh idk how you all do it ❤️

[@wendydlugos5729]

Love to you in Chicago, as I am an Illinois girl too, but living in Idaho. Your comments are a heartfelt description of what so many deal with. I did work with memory challenged friends & then my own Mom for 9 years. I have tiny bit of understanding in the effort it’s takes to be someone’s “person”. Kudoes & prayers for all of you💖💖

[@misssuzierevis9179]

Thank god I came to a positive comment becuz the one above this one about gassing Jessica up just about sent me into CRAZY Suzie mode. Don’t ever think for one second that Jessica isn’t capable of ANYTHING…becuz she IS. I truly believe in the impossible…and I believe in Val and bad daddy making the best decisions for Jess possible. Think she ‘can’t’ do something IS the ‘RECIPE FOR DISASTER…’ Jess can and should be able to do anything she ever wants to in life, if she fails well guess what? It’s Becuz she’s human…not because she ‘shouldn’t’ of tried! News flash…(to the above comment) we ALL FAIL AT TIMES…

[@heidiely3243]

Love you, Val. ❤️❤️❤️ You're such a good mom. You love with your whole heart. I appreciate how raw being so open on a public forum is and old wounds open up a bit retelling the stories. All the feels regarding bringing us into your world. ❤️

[@mothermarie6057]

I feel this comment 💜

[@melissaw6446]

How does Jessica do with children? My church has a preschool program that invites nursing home residents to come and "sit" with the children's class. They can go outside with them, and are mainly just an extra set of eyes. They don't teach in any capacity, but they do get involved in crafts and things like that. They rotate between classes, so they are never in the same class two days in a row. It has made a world of difference to both the helpers and the children. There is one lady that is Autistic, but she is non-verbal...unless she is singing. Not sure she gets all the words right, but she will sing her heart out with those children. She just happens to be the one all of the children flock to, maybe because she is childlike. It isn't a paying position, but it sure is priceless.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Jess doesn’t do as well with children.

[@mothermarie6057]

I can’t imagine what children must feel like to people who are blind. I’m going to think on that today. 🥰

[@melissaw6446]

@@mothermarie6057 it is the most precious thing to watch. I don't think we have anyone who is blind, but there are several who have limited sight, and hearing. So sweet when the children invite them to come to their plays or musicals. They even have a brunch twice a year and invite them all. The littles get to "take care" of the bigs too. (They call each other "my little" or "my big".)

[@mothermarie6057]

@@melissaw6446 awwwww!!! That is so sweet and lovely 😊

[@mothermarie6057]

I am so focused on little ones and their every move, I can’t imagine not having my sight to depend on to try to figure out what they are up to or about to do when they are really small 😄

[@Stepyrose]

I’m so glad you decided to share publicly Val. You really help many by sharing 💗

[@deborahdavis8769]

Val, just wowwww. You give me strenght. I could see it in your face while you were talking. You had a dream for Jess. A job. Not a normal job or life. But somewhat. An a schedule. After everything yall went through that dream just disappeared. My heart broke for you. An Jess. But you never give up an thats why i continue to watch you an Jess an whole family. ❤

[@allysonbruce554]

What is "normal"?

[@sportyfemme64]

You're a brave, strong, amazing person. You've been there, stayed the course, for 36 years now. I'm such an empath, that sometimes it's debilitating. Hard to understand. I can meet someone and KNOW if they have good or bad intentions, a kind or apathetic heart. I really can't explain. I've never met you. But watching the videos, these Q&As your stories, it's easy to see you're quality attributes. YES, you're a Mom, and most moms will stay in there fighting for their child's future. Some however, don't. I've worked in so many various ways with children; as a teacher, a Social Worker, and in a group home/school, with both mentally disturbed and developmentally delayed adults and children. Some Moms aren't caring, or brave. They give up, halfway. They give in to the exhaustion. Some just don't care from day one.. I don't judge ANY OF THEM. I haven't been there to feel the sadness, view of the future, or that impending doom feeling. So that's why I say, 36 years of staying the course, keeping Jess's best interests at forefront is loving, brave and beyond! Before I worked with these people I would have thought any mom would do this for their child. Now I know very very well that not just any mom or family, will do for their dependent person, what your family does, and it's very very very admirable and inspirational. God bless you all, and future decisions you're going to have to make. ❤❤🙏🙏

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@lindasansone3345]

Thank you SO MUCH VAL for sharing your life with us. BRAVO TO YOU VAL 👏👍🌷🌷🌷

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you! ❤️

[@sallylehner3902]

I love listening to your stories of dealing with everything.

[@lorireynolds776]

Thank you for sharing. I’m loving these q&a videos! It gives an insight into the part of all you and Jess have went through. God bless you all

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@angelacampana7058]

Hi Val, I love your Q&As, I really learn so much more about Jess from them. I wasn’t aware she suffers with epilepsy, my dad was epileptic from early childhood and suffered his entire life till he passed at 45, sadly from an attack, which could’ve been avoided. He was a hairdresser by trade, from the age of 19-20, by 37 he finally had his own shop but his business wasn’t thriving and in May 78’ plans to build casinos in Atlantic City we’re launched and he decided he would go to school to be a craps dealer, a higher paid position of dealers bc it’s very stressful. In 79’-80’ he attended school and on 03/31/81 he started working at Caesar’s Casino/AC on the graveyard shift, he worked that 1st day, came home & after going to bed, while everyone else was gone to work/school, he had a seizure in his sleep that was so severe it collapsed his lungs, my lil bro, 9 at the time, came home from school and found him, it was awful, it was April Fools day, another nightmare bc a lot of family/friends thought it was a joke, but the saddest part is it could’ve been avoided bc he knew the risks of this new job and having epilepsy but he didn’t care. Poor Jess has bad anxiety as it is and any additional stress is definitely not good for her even w/the help of meds, which I’m sure have changed a lot since my dad being on them, I sympathize w/her and you/family bc it’s not easy to deal with someone w/epilepsy. I remember what the seizure meds did to my dad, they made him tired, very moody/hostile and very unpredictable which was very stressful to me and my family but especially to me bc he used to take a lot of his anger out on me from a very young age and as a result we didn’t have a very good relationship, he was hard on me and that was sad. I pray for you all but especially for Jess, I can tell she really wants to work as a caregiver, she’s got a loving heart god bless her, she wants to be productive and she wants to earn a living like most adults do. Dealing w/folks on the spectrum isn’t easy either, it takes a lot of work but mostly it takes a lot of love, compassion and patience, bless you Val, you seem very patient/calm from what we see. I have very close family friends who son, 24, is autistic, I’ve known him since he was born, I’ve seen the struggles they have, that I’ve had w/him even tho he’s pretty verbal it’s still not easy and we all just want him to be happy and productive too, he loves working at his school for special needs, they’ve got their own convenience store/bakery and he does different jobs there but covid has been a nightmare and as a result they closed for many months till earlier this year and it wasn’t easy bc his routine was destroyed and he needs a routine or all hell breaks out. Anyhoo, I’ve kept you too long, I’m sorry but I pray that God continues to watch over you all & keeps you all safe, happy and healthy♥️💫✨👼🏻✨💫♥️🐾🐾

[@mothermarie6057]

God bless you and your family Angela 🥰

[@angelacampana7058]

@@mothermarie6057 Thank you kind soul, you’re very sweet. May God bless you and yours too, stay safe♥️

[@heathergaskill5655]

I absolutely love this Chanel , it just brightens my day . What a wonderful family .

[@Shaping_Serenity]

💕

[@siobhanreid7785]

Another great video, Val. 💜 Awwww Jess!!!! That’s fantastic! I had no idea that she worked in LTC! What a darling 🤗! I can literally picture her working so hard and I don’t blame her for leaving… that’s hard work and she deserves the pay. ❤️

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you ❤️

[@KeepingItHopeful]

I’m sorry that the other jobs didn’t work out. I am so glad Jess is doing so well today. She loves taking care of people. I love how she now gets to take care of family.

[@autismunknown4227]

So nice to see she has support. And ppl that care about her. I have absolutely noone. I don't matter my life don't matter. I'm not loved only hated by everyone.

[@katiehoak]

I grew up in Omaha, NE which is the largest city in Nebraska & even they have unreliable city transportation. I am a wheelchair user, capable of holding a job so when I was old enough my parents pushed me & my sisters to do just that. My parents both worked & could not provide transportation so we relied on the city bus or city provided wheelchair accessible busing which proved to be impossible to use when you're on a schedule. They'll get you when they get you & they'll pick you back up when ever they decide. It puts parents or caretakers of disabled kids or adults in a huge inconvience because then your only other option is paying a cab or a friend or another family member to transport which cost significantly more than city trans. 🤷‍♀️

[@Shaping_Serenity]

That’s discouraging to hear that it’s such a widespread problem.

[@legosneevil]

As always thanks for sharing!

[@joannhale6062]

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I have enjoyed both videos and can't wait to see the next one. I find it all so very interesting! My grandson has Autism, and I often wonder what things will be like when he is an adult by the world's standards. I love your whole family! Even the pups. lol Many blessings to you all.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@GhostPepperMeg]

I find these Q and As very informative. Thanks for sharing!

[@tammymurphy2499]

You’re awesome Mom. It’s sad for Jess. That she didn’t get to work where she liked to. I know she likes help her friend with her Mom. I guess it’s that ladies Mom.

[@whitneydelong9721]

Love watching these videos thanks for the insight of Jess work journey

[@jenniferguisinger7034]

I love these Q and As! Can’t wait to hear what you tried next

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@dawnjackson2190]

Right off the bat!! Dang girlfriend!! That blue fluffy pillow is the Bomb Digigity!!

[@Magpie1950]

Thanks for sharing Val ❤

[@genaeller6914]

Same, same, and same! I am in this exact situation currently with my child. Since graduation a year ago, they have been home with no job or volunteer work. We are working with support services, but none of the businesses in our small town want to work with these services. They say, "We aren't interested". It's as if we are trying to sell them something. These are humans. Drives me crazy. Makes me worry about my child's future and having to depend on SSI only. I know this is an older video, but I had to reply. I relate to it so very much.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thanks for sharing ❤️

[@elyselane502]

THANK YOU VAL, VERY HELPFUL!

[@pinkwinterprincessEri]

hearing you express sorrow in your voice as you said that you were so hopeful that Jess would get a paid job after her high school years is relatable to most parents , so you're not alone.

[@rebeccac.1758]

My daughter starts her cbvi training at a nursing home tomorrow.............Jess sounds like my daughter a LOT. I'm super worried about it, but I'm trying to relax. My daughter will make threats also, but mostly about hurting herself, not others.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I wish you and your daughter the very best! What responsibilities will she start off learning?

[@clairep4913]

This was so well explained. I feel for you in handling just the logistics side of it, aside from the emotional effects. I sympathize with Jessica too, so many things in life are anxiety provoking… where are the people we love and are they okay? When will we see them again? These things weigh on us all, but to different degrees…. Lots to consider for someone like Jess. Wishing you all luck, I hope there is a sweet spot somewhere where Jess can continue her caregiving.

[@Julsinmaine101]

Anxiety sucks!😢 Best wishes for your family❤️

[@cherylmccormick4585]

GOOD STORY TY FOR SHARING THIS XOXOXOX

[@Grahamt978]

Yes, these videos are very helpful in so many ways💞

[@suzettesanborn5659]

I totally understand the transportation issues I've had to deal with Medicaid medical transportation and disabled bus public transportation, and it's horrible! Waiting for the second half, and maybe it answers my question. I'm curious as why you couldn't have a helper like Marlo for work transportation? I'm figuring that you couldn't take her, because you were working yourself? Not sure, and maybe you didn't have her on the waiver yet? So perhaps both those options weren't viable. Did you try making other transportation arrangements between yourself, family and friends? I know it was a long time ago and situations were different, just curious. I have been in similar situation with my son and going through similar things now. Believe me I understand the true struggles. I'll be watching for part 2. ✌💚

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Yeah; we didn’t have the waiver, and I did work. I’ll tell more in the next video.

[@allysonbruce554]

#1 momma bear right here!

[@martiintexas125]

Very informative. Thank you for sharing.

[@tamiesmith8855]

I see myself in you the hurt the pain this is a hard life for us special needs parents all the best!!!

[@tiavaughn693]

Hi Val. I was wondering if Jess could start up again at a nursing home if Marlow was there to accompany/keep an eye on her. That way a schedule could be kept. Just a question, no judgement. 💗

[@Shaping_Serenity]

That was 14 years ago. In the meantime, we have evolved to something that works great for us. Jess us a much better understanding of her anxiety and is not interested in getting back into a situation like that where there is a constant trigger.

[@mirandac2760]

Thank you for sharing Val. Your videos are so informative.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@stefwhey]

Always helpful ❤️

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@donnastreet3539]

I hear people say to me all the time, 'ohh cody could do a little job like that' or, 'well if he interested in that he could volunteer when hes older'....i know none of this is possible in reality, the 'what if you just tried doing that..?' gets on your nerves after a while..you arent dismmising your kid you just understand their capabilities and emotions better than those with 'helpful suggestions!'

[@colleenflynn5646]

Great video. Thank you for sharing your life with us! Love ya Val!

[@mothermarie6057]

For sure one point I don’t want to get drowned out here is that a caregiver canNOT maintain working while trying to function with our current system and it’s endless requirements. I’m suggesting we all keep discussing and coming up with solutions to present. The special needs community doesn’t need to deal with these shenanigans 😀 we have got fun to have 🧜‍♀️🌈♥️☀️🥰

[@theresaburns2873]

I'm sorry that it didn't work out for her, but I'm glad she still looks after people sometimes.

[@grannybible]

Love the Q&A videos lately

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Thank you!

[@cindythoreson3716]

What a good mom you are to all your kids❤️

[@Shaping_Serenity]

❤️

[@tyreesetjjoyner1995]

❤️⭐️❤️🙏🙏

[@cheryleverard9728]

WOWY you and your family really tried. I have seen how our disabled kids get literally KICKED OUT/OFF the “system” where they graduate or turn 18!!! It is heart breaking to an outsider like me. I can’t even imagine what YOU Val went through. Seeing how well and adjusted Jessica is now shows people to NOT QUIT. Like the ole’ saying KEEP ON TRUCKIN’!!! You have done well Val!!

[@alenem.6973]

I've heard you mention Jessica's aggression a few times. We never see that on videos, has she just out grown that or does she still display aggression?

[@kaseycentanni753]

i don’t think she is going to show jess being aggressive on camera and then post it.

[@alenem.6973]

@@kaseycentanni753 she is pretty real with her videos.I know we don't see all but she tries to keep it real.

[@angelajackson8029]

Sending love ..... x

[@ChristinaFromFlint]

I have been away from both The Crispies and KZbin for monthssss... for kinda the same reason as this video! Our experience is too raw to speak on, but wow... I'm emotionally spent & today it feels like I won't recover. (I will. Always do. But MAN.)

[@heatherherron3926]

Paying God gives you the strength to do what you need to do. God Bless you and your family ❤

[@ChristinaFromFlint]

@Amanda Thank you, SO much. Im really, really trying! My heart just hurts. I dont have the option of being sad forever, and honestly, thats not me anyway. So, im just gonna be sad today, maybe tomorrow too, and then just get glad! Kind words mean more than you can comprehend during a crappy time, too... God bless you for being so kind! You're a #GoodOne 🥰

[@ChristinaFromFlint]

@@heatherherron3926 Thank you, so so much. I sure am in need of some strength, lemme tell ya. I'm gonna be sad for a while, but then im gonna get glad, and trudge along doing whatever is needed!! Just kinda stinks while you're down in the pits of it... but I know that doesn't last forever!! Thanks again, hun!! I appreciate you!!

[@deebarton8303]

Thank you Val @Austic interpretations its a grest insight into some of Jessica's life and very interesting... I wonder if Jess would have that same situation at School now or have things changed for the better?💗

[@Shaping_Serenity]

I think it would be the same.

[@0727cinash]

It is definitely the same. I tried going through it with my son and they have failed.

[@aliciasanburn8026]

Interesting. Can’t wait for next updated video. What a cliffhanger. 😆

[@kadymurphy5532]

Hi from arizona

[@doreennicholas7291]

Unfair on a disabled person. I know it has happened to me I have cp x

[@Rachel57294]

Hello All. Please like this video and subscribe. 💕

[@doreennicholas7291]

I did get a job and worked all my life 😊

[@nancyschaeffer569]

Love your channel, I was wondering has Jess ever been physical with you,, and how do you handle the situation. If to private please forgive me. I love you Val.

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Jess has only been physical with me once and that was in the last year or two.

[@kadymurphy5532]

How are you

[@debbiekiser7178]

I'm listening daddy in north Alabama had a stroke I'm saying Debbie and my son and daughter-in-laws and Chattanooga with a 6-year-old nonverbal autistic darling

[@janabrown6608]

If Jess doesn't like animals, why did she want a poodle

[@Shaping_Serenity]

Jess generally doesn’t like to touch animal fur. We got a dog because we wanted a dog. Jess has learned to trust Zoë and can now pet her. She’s still working on building trust with Daryl.

[@mothermarie6057]

Jess loves doggies 💜☀️

[@danadrake7533]

You seem very nervous n upset I’ve watched your face turn red n your eyes look tired n sad I really am worried bout you I hope your ok. Your such a beautiful woman that is worried bout something. I certainly hope I’m wrong. Love you n your family

[@stephaniejlee2010]

Thank you for caring about Val, I know that means a lot to her. I think Val has learned to function and live life with a pretty significant amount of stress and she has done an amazing job with it all, as I’m sure you’ve noticed too. I can’t imagine the reality of what she does day in and day out without and just how much of her time and her life is spent putting other people and other things before herself. She wouldn’t trade her life for the world, and wouldn’t take any amount of money for Jessica and she does live a happy life. I think , snd I’m just guessing on this part, thst making these type videos are stressful , just due to the possibility of judgement and backlash she fears she might receive , and that probably triggers some extra nerves and stress. As of late she has been receiving some hurtful mean commoners on various platforms that might make putting even more of herself and Jessica out there feel even more daunting than it already is. .

[@stephaniejlee2010]

I meant comments, not commoners. lol. Just thought I’d clear that up so nobody thinks I was talking like anybody is a Royal or anything lol

[@danadrake7533]

I just love her n her family I worry bout her I wish that ppl would see the love n stop the hate if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything there’s absolutely no sense in it this is a very complete n happy family so please need to take notes from Val for there family n n call needs to take naps. Lol she works very hard n we all know there’s nothing no better than a nap. We need to start sending some massage n relaxation gifts for ms Val. Bad daddy could also get some sometimes as well he it’s great as well. Love you’ll. Hi Jess