Lawyer ASMR - Ridiculous Closing Statement w/ Tapping Sounds, Feather Stroking, and (warning) a Gun

[@StaraviaXIII]

I plead the fish

[@cassiopeiadee9306]

🐟

[@tammyv.asmrcattailsotherstorie]

This had me rolling! Well done👏👏👏👏😄

[@fighterflight]

Spoiler alert 🚨 🐠 🐟

[@kaptainkurt1447]

Best screen name ever

[@kaitd3816]

Your trial is dead in the water.

[@sour_milk_carton9930]

"Truth is that I skipped breakfast today because I had to come to work to defend an innocent man" Golden opportunity for "and now I'm hungry... for justice"

[@rahmreekoo86]

👏

[@HOTD108_]

That'll be in the Netflix adaptation of this video.

[@ladyvader3173]

"I dunno, it's Latin or something." My law school career in a nutshell

[@Alunamai]

Can be used about a history degree, too.

[@Alunamai]

When questioned, I've actually have said... "how should I know, it was 1800 or some crap."

[@murraayyy999]

“It’s ceremonial everything is ceremonial” -Archaeology

[@etherealhawk]

"It's just zeros and ones" - Computer Science

[@fatjuicytaco]

Same

[@WORDSANDBRUSHSTROKESSTUDIO]

The way the lawyer was speaking made me think he was the killer the whole time.

[@natures__kingdom]

🤣🤣

[@mollusckscramp4124]

He does have a suspiciously unlimited amount of access to latex gloves...

[@dylanchouinard6141]

0/10 Didn’t begin with a “now I might be just a simple country lawyer”

[@porknbeans1977]

"Habeus corpus. Nobody knows what it means." Buckle up guys, this is gonna get bumpy.

[@ReallyTwistedHumor]

I know what it means and how it applies to legal matters, which I can blame my English Literature lessons when I was 15 for

[@wwolfmanbro9399]

Studio Gible I didn’t really understand it when I looked it up. Do you think you could simplify it?

[@AmericanPatriot_Edits]

@@wwolfmanbro9399 habeus corpus basically means the right to have a trial

[@theswisswereright]

On my very first day of law school, my contracts professor told our whole class that when an opinion starts up with the Latin, we should just translate that as "here comes the bullshit," so when your first words were habeas corpus... As a Real Lawyer (TM), I feel like I've heard actual arguments from licensed attorneys that made about as much sense as this. 😂 Excellent work maligning my (our?) profession, Jim. Let me know if you ever need a consult on further videos on this scheme.

[@parnmonkuma5461]

Part II: Res Ipsa Loquitur

[@ladyliberty417]

Perhaps your truest gift is comedy? I just know I chuckled through the whole thing, admiring your generic American accent and insertions of ASMR sounds sprinkled throughout. You are a natural actor and this was a lovely addition to your body of work 🐠 I rest my case.🖤

[@Angel-ym2xc]

This is me. Defending myself for every bad decision I have ever made. I think I qualify as a lawyer Jim. Teach me your ways. 😂😂

[@ajhuffenberger5413]

“Toasters don’t toast! Toast toasts toast!” #DontBreadOnMe

[@Smartfmella69]

Bread to you

[@2.0fox07]

*toasts your toasts with mind*

[@SerenityBane]

One of my assignments for my honors students is a closing argument in a mock trial. I only wish they would be this entertaining.

[@timothyprice3264]

We all just gonna ignore 21:10 where he completely annihilated the Prosecutor?😂😂

[@catsandcaffine3635]

Damn he really Winston Payne

[@bakedbeansman]

@@catsandcaffine3635 truly a Damon Gant.

[@JessKCreative]

This really helped me tame a squirrelly brain and focus on some mundane work tasks. And once again I applaud your ability to do such a variety of American accents, some VERY subtly different from each other.

[@kathrynedmiston594]

I was cleaning my living room while i listened to this video, and imagined myself not as a client but a janitor who kept mopping the same five square feet of floor outside the court room so I could listen to this train wreck of a lawsuit go down.

[@AStrawberryHedgehog]

That’s a great mental image!

[@AStrawberryHedgehog]

That’s a great mental image!

[@Zanyotaku]

This is an old comment but it made me laugh really hard in the middle of the night, stay relaxing

[@islandred]

That’s a great mental image!

[@2.0fox07]

That's a great mental image!

[@onewhoeatswindows8280]

im... trying to follow this logic and my brain cant take it. jim is either completely unhinged or a genius. i dont know how he channels this sort of spirit so well but somehow he does it

[@STUP1DSP1DER]

Why was the feather the heaviest?? Why did it make that sound???😂 I can't get over that

[@PatGamingApasStyle]

There was no feather. There was never any feather.

[@dawesysb4922]

We all know a ton of feathers is heavier than a ton of bricks so it’s safe to assume a single feather is gonna be quite hwavy

[@lauracrimson]

"Innocent man? He killed 80 people in two days."

[@vidzeerox]

He's adopted!

[@fighterflight]

Vidhi Basu wha?

[@murraayyy999]

“He killed 30 children and wounded 5”

[@SleepweaverASMR]

@@murraayyy999 AND MY ONLY REGRET IS NOT FINISHING OFF THE OTHER 5!

[@CW-xn1ot]

@@murraayyy999 I'll do it again

[@conorrigoli7578]

He looks like Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird.

[@knight8825]

Bruh you have me dead

[@audrienaromero2734]

That'd be such an interesting roleplay honestly

[@anna4756]

He’s like a mix between Atticus Finch and Phoenix Wright’s personalities.

[@CW-xn1ot]

"Objection! The Defense is tampering with evidence." "Overruled. It's relaxing."

[@baileybailey6425]

I just like how you keep explaining the definitions of the individual words not the legal terms. Just makes me think of every trail movie - pure bs but super entertaining. That wind-up arm thoooo!! 😂 Great job on the accent and the colloquialisms! I’m so happy to have found this channel! Jim you’re an absolute mensch🖖🏻🖖🏻🖖🏻

[@danielle010481]

Are you a fan of the tv show “The Office?” I feel like this is when Michael Scott says “ Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” 😂🖤🙌

[@cassiopeiadee9306]

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason, whatsoever..

[@danielle010481]

Cassiopeia D 🙌🙌😂😂

[@calbedard]

This is not how I remember How to Get Away with Murder.

[@evangelinemcdowell8114]

He definitely forgot to introduce a new suspect 😱😱

[@calbedard]

@@evangelinemcdowell8114 Annalise Keating would be disappointed.

[@passthepeace]

This is Ace Attorney levels of wild and I'm entirely here for it. Thank you for this incredible content, as per usual.

[@astridbuica3360]

Definitely one for relaxation and laughter, not for falling asleep. Love it!

[@YoKhav]

I don’t ever really comment on videos but, I’ve been really going through massive mental issues during this quarantine and Almost every day since I found your channel about a month ago, I’ve been watching your videos and man, it genuinely feels good to just relax and ease my mind. You’re phenomenal at what you do man.

[@andiem4897]

These scripts HAVE GOT to be as fun to make as they are to watch!

[@TinglesmithASMR]

How are you able to put out such quality and such a herculean rate? Great stuff as always good sir :)

[@ludmillasummers775]

Habeas corpus: no one knows what it means. Me, criminal justice major: Well this oughta be a fun ride......

[@monochromedream-eatingbaku]

I have Latin at high-school so same. I just stopped dead in my tracks like "WHAT NOW???"

[@Demigah]

So the special negotiator of the special police, get the fuck out of my way became a lawyer? Nice ahahaha

[@14THEPINKPANTHER]

"Truth is that I live on the planet earth...and I am not ticklish." Bruh I laughed so hard. ♡ Now legit I thought he had a British/English accent irl because all videos I've watched preciously have had that. Crazy good. Thanks so much to all the effort and energy you put into these. They calm my anxiety and relax me to sleep. ♡

[@rahmreekoo86]

The only thing that could have made this better would have been Guts and Caska sitting on the Jury.

[@meredithmonroe9723]

Jessica McNeir Oh that would be equal parts hysterical and adorable.

[@harrold1934]

Was there a Berserk reference I missed?

[@idkman9444]

Harrold yeah, I was listening for a reference the whole time but didn’t recognize anything

[@rahmreekoo86]

@@meredithmonroe9723 😂

[@nicoledmal]

@idk man @Harrold Those are the names of Jim's two cats.

[@sepiaswirl]

I can't do it 😂😂😂😂 I can't. Jim stooooop that ending 😂 I was literally dozing off and then laughed so hard I dropped my phone against my face. Oh god, never stop doing these pleaaaase your comedy is so good.

[@JodieMarieASMR]

Your Mouth sounds in this are on point!

[@SerenityBane]

Jodie Marie ASMR Agreed

[@fcnth]

I don't know man, those goldfish can be pretty devious.

[@autumngrace645]

The ULTIMATE exhibit **starts stripping**

[@Rosie-ij3on]

🤣

[@hyeronymus]

LMAO

[@datboisteve6992]

Definitely my favorite episode of Law & Order: Special Fishing Unit.

[@sweetpeaon3]

As soon I read the title, I started giggling. I haven't stopped. 😂 On a serious note, I feel bad I never watched your content before quarantine. You are an absolute gem. 💕

[@backwardglances]

Dearest Jimothy, Are you legit not ticklish?!

[@andiem4897]

This question needs to be answered, Jim!

[@SpookyStregaAL]

the planet wants to know

[@DruidBarbariansCampfire]

backwardglances Not that I speak for Jim but he mentioned in another feather centred video that he is in fact not ticklish.

[@backwardglances]

The Druid Barbarian :) Thanks! Hope you are doing well.

[@fighterflight]

We need a jury trial to determine the verdict 😂

[@thgirbwobniar]

“There is a clairvoyance to that phrase, a salience that permeates the entire structure of our beautiful country” yo shaaaaaaaade This was a riot, thank you, absolutely loved the repeated pattern at the end, that 100% scratched my id

[@magdalyyn7329]

This is the Bureaucratic Dystopian guys origin story

[@monochromedream-eatingbaku]

Tfw you go from a lawyer to a bureaucratic fast-food worker

[@RainbowManification]

He got sacked after bungling this case

[@DruidBarbariansCampfire]

That was a journey! 😆 Thank you for bringing back the feather. 💚

[@Tobiume16]

How do you not laugh at yourself during these? I was laughing the entire time. You make a brilliant lawyer.

[@Angel-ym2xc]

Jimmy. This is art. You are art. Thank you. Stay safe💙 Goodnight everyone 😙

[@ashlynboone_]

Omg I'm a first year law student and this is cracking me up so bad 😂😂😂😂

[@Quiver_N_Toilet]

so many things going on rn 1) the gun noises 😭 2) the rant about toast??! 3) the stapling to the wall, brushing their hair and tickling their face with a feather😭

[@TamCatG]

Brilliant. I thought you were trying to lead the evidence in all different directions, but the you tie it up nicely into a perfect bow. Your honor we find the defendant not guilty.

[@fionamorris9634]

I only have one question Jim, how the hell do you keep a straight face? Gufffawing is NOT conducive to sleep. Dude, this had me ROTFLMAO. And the mirror touch from the feather was a lovely surprise. Thank you for making my Friday start with a such a stellar performance. 😊 🤗❤️

[@Fungus_Pilot]

brushed the victim's hair???? actually stapled my victim to a wall? Awfully nice treatment for the victim I mean it sounds badass :3

[@autumnwinters9366]

We took lessons from Matt

[@Fungus_Pilot]

@@autumnwinters9366 oh hell yeah!

[@beeburkhart7562]

After being in mock trial for like 8 years this is fantastic

[@GeneSavage]

This never crossed my mind for an ASMR rollplay but it is PERFECT and was both hysterical and tingle-generating. I need to hear more!!! Mistrial!!

[@R3TR0_ST1LL]

4:59 man, look at him go!!!! Like honestly them moves man, WOW!!!!

[@2.0fox07]

POV: you are in the abandoned 80s disco where the local crackhead lives

[@ljcarolina809]

With an argument like this, We the members of the Jury find your Client the Goldfish, not guilty! Great Job Jim! 💪❤

[@fighterflight]

“This leads me to the ultimate exhibit” Proceeds to disrobe 😉

[@justanotherredheadattheend955]

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Me, has been lost and distracted for several minutes, but don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the other jurors; *Nods seriously*

[@YolomaASMR]

As a Belgian, my dream job just changed to : work for the Stationary Conglomerate as a stapler expert 🤣

[@BlancaMari]

I would never want this man as my lawyer or my asmrtist, I'd lose the case and be so engrossed in what he's saying that I'd never fall asleep. Man this is good though

[@tammyv.asmrcattailsotherstorie]

I love it when you do this kind of thing. You crack me up. Glad this lawyer was able to uphold the *scales* of justice. He is very sofishticated...must have gone to a great school. I don't mean to sound koi, but I would dolphinitely hire him. If this comment has too many bad puns just let minnow..... 😃😛

[@punkrockpixie7820]

LOVE the puns!!!

[@AStrawberryHedgehog]

Emma Kruis seconded

[@hilarybuffbo]

I made it 3 minutes in and slept through a sever thunderstorm, thank you

[@davidcoggins1950]

Forget Better Call Saul, we're calling Jim.

[@jackquentin1950]

"Truth, is I live on planet earth. And I'm not ticklish." I lost it at this moment lmaaao. This is comedy gold

[@reevesavage]

Jim: truth is in the heart Deee-lite: groove is in the heart

[@EonTheBeast05]

Me watching my lawyer say all this knowing I’m 100% cooked

[@jabarimiller877]

Can you make another one, I have been watching this repeatedly for months, so many tingles

[@katx5884]

I can't get over how good your North American accent is!! Best I've heard from someone across the pond. :) Your videos are all so creative and tingly. Super glad I came across your channel! Cheers from Canada.

[@vanessaaubacher9910]

I love this guy omg 😫😍 It's so nice that you follow back your followers on insta! I was so surprised :)

[@jaketinsleywbc]

My guy i have NO clue what you're on about, but im sold.

[@minji03]

Kinda felt like he was trying to sell us the stapler and the brush

[@evajulia2121]

You should make a few of these with Edgeworth from Ace Attorney

[@ScreamingmadJoe]

Look at my lawyer dawg I’m going to jail 💀💀💀

[@theecosmetaverse]

Your voice is medicine ❤ Greetings and stay safe ❤ PS. As a voice actress let me tell you...again...you are an amazing actor. -Carlota.

[@1nePercentJuice]

"Don't worry, it's not loaded. " your videos are severely underappreciated. I hope you blow up.

[@disappointmentsanddisgrace1210]

This new Ace Attorney Live Action looks great. 10/10.

[@heartoftheocean100]

Ooh, I would do anything to be a member of the jury in this courtroom 😆

[@u.v.s.5583]

Case adjourned, jury in deep sleep.

[@happycat9577]

Love how creative your role plays are. I've never seen lawyer asmr before! Incredibly relaxing and interesting at the same time. :)

[@MichieCuddlesASMR]

How is this so relaxing??? 😍 much love (and cuddles) xx :)

[@jessica62583]

Spoken like a true lawyer. You talk a lot but never saying anything at all. Good job! 😁

[@StarlingASMR]

that hair in my face 😱😂😂😂😂 you're genius, Jim. 💜

[@GrabaCuppaPodcast]

I love how when he says 'habeas corpus' he takes a step back as if he's just blown everyone's mind.

[@JK-xc6du]

Thanks!

[@snipsnorpsmorble]

Your American accent is so well developed that, if this was the first video of yours I watched, I would have thought you were American

[@cyanncarver384]

I enjoyed this ASMR immensely but it really threw me for a loop at the end when I found out that the whole time I've been in goldfish

[@DebbieDoo217]

This is hilarious. These types of role play videos along with the one on one type personal videos are my favorites. ☺😘😉

[@Ellievibes10]

Dammit, I started giggling way too quickly. Well done. 😄

[@gerrardjones28]

The revelation at the end finished me off lol

[@alihealey6074]

I live on planet Earth. I am ticklish. I own a stapler. JimChi is an incredibly talented comedy writer & presenter. TRUTH

[@icondonecannibalism]

look at my lawyer dog... im going to jail

[@magalibaglio9571]

I love your hands gestures ... I dunno why it gives me chills 🤭

[@Kitties_are_pretty]

How are you supposed to get to sleep to this while you're laughing hysterically at the comedy?

[@Augie13]

"The ammo capicity of a stapler" has got to be the most American lawyer statement ever.

[@thebluetoothdeviceisreadyt3390]

The only thing more impresive than your asmr videos is that you take time to read the comments

[@JimASMR]

Thank you!

[@somerandomgamer8504]

If there's no pointing and shouting Objection, is it even a trial?

[@godofgold8084]

when you know Jim is throwing random law terms around, you KNOW it's gonna be a hoot!

[@noelrobertson4968]

I'm so stressed but at the same time, relaxed. Damn you Jim!

[@queeniebell7087]

Have you considered an Uncle Iroh roleplay? Maybe a tea related one? I think you’d do a fantastic job!

[@superstan1108]

this was more comedy than asmr and i loved it

[@MrJman9001]

*wears gloves to stop contamination, proceeds to scratch forehead and then contaminate the gun* this video was prime tingle content loved every second of it! keep it up

[@_bunnygirl_]

i would let him sue me.

[@HyroKamui]

OBJECTION!!!! *slap the desk*

[@iStoicVA]

"inadmissible, take away the "in" and you're allowed in" that just blew my mind