Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (2009) - FULL LIVE SHOW

Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (2009) - FULL LIVE SHOW
Jimmy Carr, the hardest-working man in comedy returns with his most controversial stand-up show to date, Telling Jokes.
Slick, sick and definitely not for the easily offended, Jimmy offers a masterclass in comedy as he takes his dry and sardonic wit to a whole new level. And it seems that no-one and nothing is safe from Jimmy’s cutting remarks as he delves into a diverse range of subjects including religion, sex, bullying and (somewhat ironically) political correctness …
Welcome to Jimmy Carr's official KZbin channel, where you can find all the best bits from his stand-up comedy shows, TV appearances, podcasts, and more!
Check out my latest tour info here: www.jimmycarr.com/
Subscribe to this channel and turn on notifications to get notified whenever Jimmy uploads a new video. You won't regret it, unless you're easily offended.
Subscribe now: / @jimmycarr
#JimmyCarr #Comedy #standupcomedy

[@jimmycarr]

Watch more of Jimmy’s Full Shows - kzbin.info/aero/PLqmvX-B8Fiea3oF1Yx2Gl5rBPonSkMDHM

[@Seldomane]

With all of his sex jokes I laugh imagining Jimmy actually having sex. Does he perform while performing? How could he not think of his own jokes mid coitus? Plz make another America tour, believe it or not we need you.

[@BuszmenKudlaty]

Jimmy . Most popular sex position is from Star Wars : Han(d) Solo :P

[@louiseramejkis8787]

p

[@louiseramejkis8787]

you

[@louiseramejkis8787]

hello

[@illusion-xiii]

At the end when he said, "Thank you so much for buying the DVD if you're watching this at home", I felt a little guilty for a moment, watching it on KZbin. Then I remembered, it's his channel, he put it here. So thank *you* Jimmy Carr.

[@nathanielpea5819]

I bet you felt nearly as guilty as old Jimmy as he defrauded the country of millions in tax. Luckily tax doesn't go toward the NHS and saving the lives of sick children..... Does it?

[@aerogfs]

Laughs in pirate

[@Skyflairl2p]

@@nathanielpea5819 Yeah... Let's not overdramatize absolutely everything now...... Shall we?

[@ulrichenevoldsen8371]

@@nathanielpea5819 he probably still pay more in tax every year than you do in a lifetime

[@danielmacdonald3130]

"You wouldn't steal a car, you wouldn't steal a tv, you wouldn't watch a youtube video..."

[@lynnmcgown2451]

Very funny. So wonderful to have stand up comedians to soften the harshness of life. Thank you

[@RichardSanchez137]

Pure talent where after all these years, the jokes still hit hard.

[@sanne3465]

Just like my dad.

[@zombl337og]

@@sanne3465 always a classic

[@AleksandarIvanov69]

This is my absolute most favorite show! That soup guy, Tracy and all other audience interactions elevated it above all others.

[@nikil428]

Yupp, but I really hope they both hooked up though! That would make this entire show so wholesome!

[@aerogfs]

@@nikil428 Wondering the size of the queue though....

[@Seldomane]

"Like a bulldog eating mayonaise" xD

[@AbsinthedeLaRochefoucauld]

And the very last jokes are pure fucking gold :D

[@Lincolntowncoupe]

"Revenge is icecream" was actually an adorable joke

[@fishpodpizza544]

A nice change of pace

[@creameryuk4905]

"Its gonna be a bit like throwing a sausage up an allyway" 🤣🤣

[@dr.floridamanphd]

That’s cool. Just means I’ll last longer 😄

[@zackpenhaligon9904]

@@dr.floridamanphd true 😆

[@BlazeBuds]

Like fucking a bucket of water

[@georgewilson4258]

Appreciate these full shows for free cheers Jimmy

[@inceneration]

Because he doesnt make enought money from doing them live woth Corona. And he kinda sucks. He will never be Lee Evans. Insulting people isnt funny. Its just Pathethic.

[@tmantheman]

@@inceneration lol. The orony is your insulting him. 🤣

[@nosirrah6213]

@@inceneration he is funny, stfu ur not a comedy police.

[@michaelhawkins7389]

@@inceneration Lee Evans is overrated .. and has retired as a comic .... few years ago

[@daleanderin1]

"Free" 🤣🤣 a wannabe stand up comic right here. The cost is not financial.

[@D50Music]

What a wingman, sorted a date by accident during a show 😂

[@creativehorse7907]

My goodness the thumbnail for the video, Halloween is over Jimmy!

[@jamesjethrowesten3302]

Omfg lmao

[@RobinMcBeth]

Not with that face it isn't.

[@danstanciu9549]

that’s how he looks with no make up🤣

[@dangallwey8838]

@@danstanciu9549 Ohio. I o o Ohio to

[@vhwadsworth]

True it is but in fairness Jimmy always looks creepy-scary.... hanging around schools with his white van.

[@ynothavefun2399]

Ok, now I need to watch all his videos. Absolutely f****** brilliant!!

[@cosmosihu]

Thank you Jimmy. These shows make my day, everyday. 🇲🇻

[@Anshu-Kajika]

After that guy said "She was easy", She Should have said " you haven't got any yet!!" hahahaha

[@gargar86]

The thumbnail is certainly giving me a nightmare fuel. Thank you Jimmy Carr for laughs and creeps

[@skeletonmodel]

It's always scary when you don't know where the ventriloquist is

[@scottjamieson7997]

All

[@nanogeekpro2]

Jimmy, you always manage to cheer me up, thanks for releasing your shows on here, you're awesome bro. =)

[@creameryuk4905]

I dont think "bro" was the correct term lmao 🤣

[@NatandGeorge]

I like how Mark's date is just happily watching him be put in the spotlight by Jimmy.

[@jace_Henderson]

America couldn’t handle this guy even if he went bare minimum.

[@sirnigeloffarage9255]

He made a "Live in NY" show 2005. Its on youtube.... Its cringy cos you can tell he's holding back and that ruins the show completely.

[@rangerleaf1505]

We actually want him to come here and come full Force Problem is to many fucking snowflakes

[@thepericlesof8449]

Already happened

[@apinakapina]

This is so tasteless. And brilliantly executed, hilarious, and so well performed. Kudos!

[@jjaronske6445]

"Czechs not accepted" deserved a better response.

[@keithreinbolt159]

“Looked like someone’s shadow got up and fucked off”

[@Bren688]

Dwarf shortage jokes! You can't get much lower than that can you??

[@someone2506]

A dwarf wearing eyeglasses is a short-sighted short for short.

[@corndoggoiscool8223]

well that was an OVERsight wow im hilarious

[@callumdavidson1928]

Getting a bit too big for your boots

[@zackpenhaligon9904]

It'd be a tall order....

[@Highrider_Phil_C]

Funny man, he makes me laugh for days.

[@geordiejohnston9815]

Try remembering the jokes. Teehee

[@Seldomane]

I'll admit I'll laugh for seconds up to a minute, but days? That sounds like a condition Mr. Collins.

[@Highrider_Phil_C]

@@Seldomane That was more of a general statement of all his material, he is funny and witty.

[@jonathanduncan3482]

No man should tell dad jokes, but Jimmy Carr does it well

[@nigelbond4056]

Keep on doing what you do so brilliantly Jimmy. 👏👌🤣

[@somberaf]

What a goddamn legend of comedy

[@boyanhristov8663]

he really is a fucking legend,these comeback are faster than the speed of light

[@musicloverme3993]

If I want my comeback, I have to get it from your mum.

[@augustobuosi782]

Big thank you from Brazil! What is the best place to keep up with your content? Best comedian ever, not even jokin.. xD

[@kevinhavran4712]

I hope Steve's and Tracy's children are doing fine...

[@HepcatNZ]

I wonder if they ever hooked up.

[@creameryuk4905]

Didnt work out, it was indeed like throwing a sausage up an allyway 🤣

[@John-zs2eo]

Jimmy, you are undoubtedly the King of adult humor with some class, if that's possible, and your crowd work is masterful. Please come to the USA sometime soon, I'm 65. The sooner the better!

[@theordinary1175]

Keep him please.

[@Paglavc1]

"whats your name?" Tracy... "Ofc it fucking is" :D : D :D

[@heimdall8305]

brilliant comedian and amazing crowd are best to complement each other.

[@zackpenhaligon9904]

"I'm jokin' I never pay" - we know, Jimmy, we know... 😆😆😆

[@goose300183]

Thanks for the upload Jimmy! A lot of us need a laugh these days

[@dorbitan2935]

found about your shows about a year ago. you have enriched my life jimmy :)

[@jcbanbury]

Fk me you're late😂😂😂

[@5thsgamingreplays518]

Jimmy, love your humor. Found these from the 8 out of 10 cats series videos.

[@shannonscopper4298]

Ok, at first I was a little put off but this guy is awesome 😂

[@theordinary1175]

Why are you gay

[@BlazeBuds]

Yeah the child jokes can be a bit much, especially how trafficking has been exposed the last few years, but hey if we don't laugh about it

[@Leatherargento]

I love the bit where Jimmy plays matchmaker.

[@angiewilliams3458]

Omg a 13 year old at this show…..🥴 Love you Jimmy! You're THE BEST!

[@AdamTheHammer]

bloody brilliant! i liked the spitting image puppet at the end telling us to like and subscribe

[@NBM397]

Woot! Thanks Jimmy. When this Covid makes it possible, I'll come to the UK from Denmark to watch you with my daughter (a show, not watching you "get" with my daughter.

[@michaelrosenberg2332]

Whuhan flu has nothing to do with it, it's government control

[@travisbrunner2922]

Wow, you are incredibly creepy.

[@NBM397]

@@travisbrunner2922 That's the point: Right up Jimmy's alley.

[@michaelrosenberg2332]

@@travisbrunner2922 perhaps incredibly truthful. Didn't Knee Chi say that you can tell a lot about a person by the amount of truth they can accept

[@nathanielpea5819]

This is creepy on so many different levels. Stay in Denmark.

[@Iveno-Von-Aethervein]

when you're on a stage being paid to tell offensive jokes it's the funniest thing ever but when you tell offensive jokes and don't get paid for it, suddenly you've gone too far.

[@bngt1dy816]

Jimmy Carr proudly sponsored by Astra Zenica

[@gordonthompson8634]

I HAVE SEEN FUNNIER BULLET HOLES TO THE HEAD give ya self a slap

[@malthus101]

@@gordonthompson8634 he IS funny, you're not Gordon.

[@datboi3577]

@@malthus101 got em

[@wojciechmatuszewski3346]

Mw6 and I have hfk5wek n. Wnwz. h h 8 g 8ef hf. is. is z6ff and z. z z z z wz wz gf F? the F for w! Rhhfgfmwhmj. F7ekf Rhhfgfmw Rhhfgfmw u. Rhhfgfmw. Rhhfgfmw Rhhfgfmw zhe. że lfwh . u h? Efz. You I wkjw Efz K K zjwzf hg hf bf hf I 7w. Why. Why Why kw. H. Z7 Wh ff8 you you fhgygzh. fh fh dh fh zg w w GW. you GW don't j h7whf h7 wrr 6fkhieke.fzz h7whf 8fe6 z 7?!you you have to I I'm h h z you you tego you you tego you you can h have a h wwjf5w46z h z88rhmfjg. z88rhmf w.! z88rhmf F!?! you 7z me hjz w. you you you j 8 fhm rh r fhm. Kjwu. W rh hfjfljk. h eh. G. have h Wh. Hwzk. h K hzfwd7wj8 have h h have have rxhr7wfux him him for a. few days to nnhwu be. K. go w. Kef be be a kfu6. a a jwg. a zhk. Wk6. jwg. jwg Gf F7ekf g. Gwkj689w8f. F7ekf Gf fz. Gf. Gf and is fkw6j a. fk d and the the and wf. and F total z total 6jz F mheh F from? 7k !F the the F!? Jwfg..!!! Ek hw?. the h rok kdwf. ek ek. H. rok fj66w7 I I I Good don't z. don't wgzf7 have to 7k 7k 7k 7k 7 jf. 6 67 I is km7zj7z I just want je. just want wff6f. j j a k h ujfwk. Montana w. m

[@wojciechmatuszewski3346]

@@gordonthompson8634 is a r. fantastic r r fantastic r zwzgk. Z r F hfw. F

[@philmclitoris2304]

I was wondering why these people are dressed like everybody used to dress back in the 2000s... Then I read the title. Such nostalgia.

[@cb6866]

Thank you !

[@palficsaba1710]

I didn't know Roger Federer is such a good comedian.

[@shellybelly35]

Brilliant vid thank you Jimmy ❤❤😂😂

[@rogerandersen7046]

I like how people are so offended that he said vaccines don’t suck.

[@harnois75]

How would he know? The only fact is that the vaccinated can still spread, so what's the big deal about personal choice?

[@john-supablaze9478]

The gov also tell us to pay taxes.. Funny how its ok for Jim lad to pick n choose gov rules to follow..

[@PaulGillooly1]

V people are more likely to die of Covid than non V people. Check week 48 report from UKHSA.

[@rogerandersen7046]

@@PaulGillooly1 that does not mention mortality only percentages of who are and are not vaccinated. And that only states that unvaccinated people are more likely to have it. Could you link your source.

[@jayadams681]

@@PaulGillooly1 actually it says that unvaxxed people are more likely to end up in intensive care.

[@haloclips5387]

50:50 is just perfect 😂

[@meatmaster8636]

love this guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's on the top of my list of .....well......He's on top.....

[@pawsitivenooz]

FINALLY NEW STUFFZ! 🤙🎉🥳

[@jdottdeestv8149]

Revenge is ice cream - I like this.

[@Kostadin_Arolski]

Never watched this guy before, 40 minutes in and his sharing the n1 spot in my heart(and bum) with Luis ck

[@Seldomane]

... Just post in native language an let google translate :D

[@gregevans173]

(Men) "Have a word for the silent treatment, it's called silence" Thank you for saying it cause when I do I tend to be slapped

[@aladeenmotherfu3kers687]

Love Tracy lollll

[@_.moilara._]

I love this man I swear

[@stevekuhn91182]

amazing

[@RobinMcBeth]

Without a doubt your best special.

[@Madzu159]

About a copper coil. In the 90's there was a scrap metal rush in former Soviet states. People were burning coils of cable in a fire to get the copper(or aluminium) for scrapyards. Some people went missing these days...

[@FillipJPhry]

Slappy can write a helluva joke.

[@benjourniee9285]

Teach a man fish lol 😆 😂

[@andrewpickering5180]

Wonderful

[@Poppomatic64]

If Steve and Tracie worked out, what an amazing “how we met” story lol

[@thevideocommenter3061]

They most likely just fucked once and called it a day

[@ChrisGirly3]

My birth year hits just right

[@szeltovivarsydroxan9944]

2009... God, how I miss those simple times.

[@matteoar]

This will be fun to see.

[@TheSleepingonit]

Thank you

[@user-sn7dv8eq3v]

he is a total menace 😂😂

[@paulbriody297]

Brilliant!

[@theordinary1175]

Why are you gay?

[@travibetes1]

Idk why I only found out about you recently, but I fuckin love it 😂😂😂😂

[@alderart3992]

50:56 best joke. The delivery is just perfect.

[@julianwetherell5161]

Brilliant

[@WilliamHBaird-eq2hp]

Great Show indeed!

[@forrestblackburn9786]

What are you studying? My response: Your mom

[@goaway2803]

This was a great routine, thank you Mate

[@sailor-rick]

Thanks for posting this. I Needed the laugh.

[@joelkanvik8918]

So...did Steve and Tracy ever hook up? Love this stuff, Jimmy!

[@Only_Oliver]

Thanks for this upload daddy

[@joncobb9894]

now im wondering if steve and tracy ever hooked up

[@BigboyRoy100]

And what flavour soup Tracy likes.

[@johnmanning5568]

Wow!!! A Jimmy Carr show……uncensored!!

[@Oscar__D]

Yessss

[@FlowUrbanFlow]

Wow, this is amazingly funny

[@Cvgthedino]

Jimmy care when his roasting people sounds like a younger Gordon Ramsay

[@joebideng9226]

Thumbnail looks like a Sims 3 character

[@michaelfirth1075]

Fantastic guy.

[@faderunnerx7230]

Jimmy is such a legend

[@Wicked1TN]

I hope Steve and Tracy are still together!

[@erikprano3892]

Jimmy love ya, love yer shows, yes i'm from the US, so don't hold it against me :P

[@mariapartel226]

Genious!

[@jamesanderson6373]

*Genius

[@mariapartel226]

@@jamesanderson6373 if you are English, but not if you are Italian, genio. ;)

[@mytorment]

It's very Jimmy to pay for stage props he could later turn into a glitzy bathroom 😁

[@thecooky7744]

It would be nice to hear the comments from the crowd

[@JaguarBST]

Great audience

[@fiwarelli]

Yes, the ones left, after he had to throw people out. You know, the people with a spine.

[@Pendoza84]

OW YES! JIMMY you are a good lad for doing this!

[@theordinary1175]

Why are you gay

[@jacobsen7005]

Great suits he always wear.

[@adarshjose3891]

Thank You Jimmy for this full show. 😍🤩

[@youtubeviewer5363]

The gay Jesus joke was brilliant… 🤣🙏

[@username-jb6zy]

"Anti-theist" I like that.

[@evemistress]

Gotta say, although it was all incredibly funny… Jimmys pout doing the gay priest snaps 🤣🤣🤣

[@mospc4993]

The Simon Cowell joke at 5:13 is fucking great!!!

[@OfficialFingazMC]

Not sure who we got to turn the lights on in Stoke this year....

[@benrampling812]

Probably who ever paid the power bill last, oh wait I forget you're in Stoke.. 😂

[@gottfriedwilhelmvonleibniz9033]

19:14 40:07