Joey Diaz's Tales of Thievery | Volume 2

Volume 2
From Various Episodes
The Church of What's Happening Now
Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt
#JoeyDiaz #LeeSyatt #Madflavor

[@Luisg773]

Lee: “Wait ............. you broke in wearing boxing gloves?” I was dying 🤣🤣🤣

[@angelhtx3544]

I swear man Joey can make a very vivid image in your head with his stories

[@MulliComMedia]

Angel Htx He’s very detailed when he describes his past. He remembers everything so clearly and creates a sort of anticipation with his natural delivery.

[@hugofortuna6432]

@@MulliComMedia but remembers nothing from 2016 tho 😂

[@alexfizer]

@@hugofortuna6432 stars of death and acid, "kick that fucking mule Lee" !!

[@etfjordan3473]

And it’ll be about vacuum cleaners and james bond toys

[@ryanblackman662]

Very true statement. He definitely is extremely well spoken, gotta a talent with vocabulary.

[@iladelproductions8820]

When i sold drugs dudes like joey were my worst fear lol.

[@oldlyswansea]

Kiz I grew up with a guy like him we were both poor and my mum god love her would feed him (his mum was a meth head) and he would steal everything that wasn’t nailed down hell he even stole a full kitchen once but he never stole or robbed us r.i.p Bobby 😭

[@cee5714]

spinmonkey rip Bobby

[@yuh5835]

spinmonkey to me bobby has puts loyalty and respect in front of everything you helped him out and he knew not to rob you

[@HoratioWalls]

You never sold drugs

[@iladelproductions8820]

@@HoratioWalls If you say so...

[@kalekhalili8130]

Like a doctah..... you’re the man Joey. There is nothing better than listening to you on my 30 mile drive on the way to work and 30 mile drive back home. These longer vids really help me make the drive easier. Joey tha soldiah

[@asad36360]

im with you brother, 35 miles for me.

[@jf5357]

Kale Khalili FACTS these long videos are amazing

[@Coleman_H]

Tremendous

[@michaeldiamond76]

pop a couple edibles and you are tip top mcgoo

[@Dude_Its_Pistachio]

Same here homie hour drives really feel a lot better with JD

[@bamm86]

That first clip when he’s talking about being broke but still having those good moments is proof that Joey has never forgotten the wealth in the simple things in life. Real down to earth human. Gotta love him.

[@RamnaViaz]

Yeah, brought me back to the first time I moved out of my hometown to live on my own, for me it was Chinese food, a can of coke zero and watching an action movie on my old ass TV, yeah I was broke and struggling and I had a shit job that I hated but for that night I was good and had everything I needed and it was all mine, my own effort, I never forgot that and I hope I never do.

[@alejandroaires6806]

FACTS I love it, great way to live life :)

[@TwinQuan]

I'm eating a bag of popcorn a squirt soda and watching some uncle joey. I'm not a millionaire but for tonight I'm ok.

[@toxicsaiyan7109]

​@@TwinQuanhave you tried ruby red squirt? It's great.

[@bababooey7315]

Joey “this was in bolder Colorado 83-84” Diaz

[@anthonygiannone3643]

*Bouldah, Colorado

[@bmtziii640]

*TREMENDOUS*

[@MyHelpWanted]

Joey “It was 83 in snow mass village & I was coked up to the gills” Diaz

[@vitoblack5928]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Fartmistergeneral]

“I took the register to go” 😂😂😂

[@therapist6328]

Joey is a pure artist when it comes to storytelling. He paints my brain with images that must be very close to how he actually lived it.

[@zacharyjune7510]

These are nice because I hate the guests but love his hidden gem stories in those episodes.

[@kurtatlas3980]

theo's adlibs during joey's story had me rolling.

[@eastcoasthoodlems2293]

“I must’ve tackled 15 registers in My day”

[@carlo894]

Everytime I start feeling like a Momo I turn on some uncle joey and humble myself

[@carlo894]

@@riffraff1880 ya got me

[@pmoneyblazes247]

Qarlucci this dudes watch one Joey video and comment ... 2 tards ehhhh Q ? Fucking half a momo they make a full momo together lol

[@lean4real_11]

pat malloy u ight?

[@Life_of_Matthew]

*Talking about robbing people in his apartment complex* "I practiced on my own apartment" I'M CRYING 😭😭

[@vitoblack5928]

Shit got me in tears🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@adamrivera8550]

No names no names fucko no names😂

[@AuralVirus]

Says the name not 5 seconds before else how'd Lee know the name :) then 5 mins later drops the name of a guy who paid him to watch potential robbery sites. :D Legend.

[@harrisonboffa3931]

Was waiting for part 2 of this keep up the good work 👍👍

[@deewah1698]

"I guess that's what I don't like about people who steal vacuums."

[@scottsterling3212]

Someone get this man a cough drop

[@Unknown-Ways]

Doinkest Memes naw Some Lean

[@hanskinslo326]

Cough drop for Coco is like peeing on a forest fire.

[@riffraff1880]

Unknown Ways lean is garbage.. codeine is so weak.. it’s the pussiest of all opiates

[@Unknown-Ways]

LSD & NitrousOxide True codeine is a very weak opiate especially since he’s a gorilla it probably won’t even affect him

[@riffraff1880]

Doinkest Memes that’s what I’m sayin! It’s weak as shit

[@freddieanderson5452]

Joey - "Ya House is FILTHY!" Theo - "It's Filthy Lee" LOOOOOOOOOL This Got Me Baddd HAHAHAHAHAHA (16 mins 30 seconds onward)

[@alexfizer]

" Stand by the brick, wall don't move, I'll bring you a sandwich in two hours "

[@mindgames9614]

best compilation clips keep the thievery coming

[@575forza]

I’m italian, Just moved to Canada from Boston. It’s very much everybody gets a medal type shit up here. I listen to Joey to hear some real shit again.

[@gorangersforever]

I HAD AND STILL PROBABLY HAVE THIS SUITCASE

[@mattasticmattattack8546]

Joey is the best I swear , this guy makes vacuums hilarious, " SEE THE BELTS!? WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOUR DEALING WITH!?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏TREMENDOUS!

[@MrDeadbweast]

Chasing that feeling forever!

[@virgie4715]

I love Theo 😂 “she got all warm under the skin one night on em pills and still our vacuum” lmfao

[@ChannelVideoYoutube]

Theo is such a chill guy. Does some fucked up shit but still doesn't seem threatening

[@gangsterbroccoli]

I don’t wear shoes inside, and I have clothes that I wear only at home

[@LetsGoGetThem]

What kind of animal approves of shoes inside?

[@VodkaSoda]

Man, so much happened to Joey in 1983

[@ExcitedAnacondaSnake-hg8ec]

More happened to me last year than most of my life combined too. And it only sounds cool in retrospect telling stories. It was misery as I’m sure joeys experience was. Danger, crime, drugz, is no fun.

[@ralieghsolo]

5:20 I was putting up posters and shit😂😂😂😭😭.Without missing a beat lol ...love you uncle Joey.Id have been pissed if it was my coke but I get it.lol

[@deewah1698]

"You're doing 9-11s" Funniest line in podcast history.

[@justfine77777]

The story about breaking into Ken’s apartment is my favorite story that he tells. That is solid gold. It’s a story about being a nice guy, getting shit on, and getting some redemption. 🤘🏽

[@TalkingThrones]

He should have been shit on. Joey was going to rob him anyway, like he did everyone else.

[@mnb9162]

Diaz was the real life Joe Pesci in Home Alone.

[@primaljoker3040]

That would have made the film sooooo much better

[@mnb9162]

@@primaljoker3040 I wouldn't be surprised if a remake is around the corner. With all the remaking of classics these days. They should cast him.

[@FreneticZetetic]

"I'm no vacuum mechanic."

[@dopeburgermike]

Even tho I'm by myself look at what I'm doing by myself... love it joey made me shed a tear on that one

[@Mannydamon]

Good tips, on how to stay out of trouble

[@sexonopiates]

this lady seems so confused & for good reason, joeys all over the place 😂😂

[@guqijr.8578]

Funniest shit ever, I love watching Joey Diaz 😂

[@bctdmarketingdesign675]

Lol I used to fix vacuums. Joeys spot on.

[@jimcatx3090]

The old Kirby vacuums where like a grand back then my family loved it more then me

[@jacobbear5971]

Damn some of his stories are some of the best I’ve heard, I got stoned as fuck, he had me laughing hard lol

[@Enderblades]

When Joeys talking about running away in the forest I cant help but imagine that scene with Tony Soprano and Johnny Sack lol

[@GeneralButtNake]

That part always keeps me going to Mr.D! LB was my independence!

[@caliboyization]

Damn I wanna hear the rest of that last story 😂

[@dressedanddepressed2301]

When I take acid I imagine Joeys voice is the noise my ashtray makes when I snipe my cig out... but wait I don’t even smoke... wtf where did the ashtray come from yo???

[@parrislucas_]

"A top notch vacuum costs $14.95" lol!!! Yea you was bigtime if you had a kirby 😎

[@lewisdavis7377]

You Mr Joey Diaz & my Father & Joe Rogan are my bucket list to sit down for an hour or 2 and beer or 3😉 would say a J but he’s s little to straitlaced for that 😂 but he stills rolls with the best of them 🤙🏻

[@domnoya4130]

The stories with this guy

[@4363HASHMI]

Joey Diaz's tales of thievry should become an Netflix special lol

[@cousinsgrimm7952]

When Joey says 1983 you know some shit is about to go down

[@ivanc9231]

"See the belts who the fuck you think you dealing with" lmao

[@C0untJacula]

Could you make a volume 4, please?:)

[@johnnybananas5036]

It’s the perfect title for the video too whoever made this salute

[@srverde34]

Yo this is the best of people from Kentucky haha always on time to eat haha

[@quantumking1724]

Joey makes me feel so good about my life decisions

[@ed.3219]

One time came across a case of old 1889 royal whisky with prohibition stickers best whiskey I ever had

[@davidcurtis7236]

Why did it have prohibition stickers on it? Prohibition was way later on than 1889?

[@juanmata9241]

holly i’m crying

[@coolslimm5105]

“Jus sweep da roof..” 😂😂😂

[@brady4684]

I miss lee he’s so great

[@FDEE30]

Someone needs to make a cartoon on every story of his

[@Cortex1337]

"you broke in wearing boxing gloves?” 🤣

[@mikey-bz4it]

I like how lee said thinking of weird criminal shit you can do lol

[@dansmith6909]

When i was little the Kirby salesmen came round to our house. My mum being my mum got them to basically deep clean the whole house in demonstration, they were there hours. Then wouldn't take no for an answer because it was like 3 months wages for a vacuum. They got really agg. Then my dad came home and had to let the beast out and threaten to smash them (my dad is still a psycho in his late 60s) to get them to leave, which they did, rapidly as i remember it.

[@Ketannabis]

Lol I worked as a Kirby salesman for a week doing exactly that, I didn't sell one vacuum. What a terrible job

[@brendanjoyce645]

Damn 3 months wages that’s like three months of rent with like a check at the end damn either those vacuums were top notch or the value of a dollar is garbage nowadays

[@dansmith6909]

@@brendanjoyce645 I think they were pretty good for the time yeah, they were loaded with features, this is like 1987 england and you could shampoo your carpets with it, amongst other things. This is in the days when a retail vacuum was from Hoover or Electrolux, didn't do a good job, was murder to push, didn't last very long, and cost fairly high but a lot less than a Kirby. Then Dyson arrived....

[@jaobalanowa4079]

​@@dansmith6909 I remember the Hoover branch in the UK gave a free holiday away when you bought a vacuum, everyone jumped on it and the company went into administration after 2 months worst promotion in history.

[@dansmith6909]

@@jaobalanowa4079 That would be 1992. I remember the controversy on the news. The UK branch of the company was sold to Candy. Ultimate insult or what

[@rasavastar308]

SOLE JOEY, ALU AE SO UUUFFFAAA ☝️🤣🤙

[@inzo313]

Tremendous

[@seabassdarapper]

Can't believe this fool had a Kirby LOLOLOL

[@IlIllllIllIllIllIl]

Good shit lmaooo

[@djspeedy7]

“Man that’s fucked up” 😂😂

[@yung_wise5861]

33:30 Lee: "You still wouldve robbed him? Why?" Joey Uchiha: "To test my ability"

[@postsniper-7532]

That’s the key you don’t need to it’s the thrill the honing of your craft

[@mrjester2748]

"Muffins, sugar, se.. definitely semen" 😂😂😂😂

[@brothatruth8398]

I swear Joey jus did my knock😂

[@kodacvisualz]

When he said “Sacramento” I wish I coulda showed him a great time.

[@TheDaclub]

Uncle Joey is the best.

[@edwardv795]

However you get these thank you

[@Onelongjohnny]

Something soothing about vacuuming lmao true

[@jonnicol4286]

Joey literally just tought me how to fix my vacuum that we got suckerd into.

[@chucksawdy7283]

My grandma still uses her old dusty ass Kirby, it has a bag attached to it that you unzip to get the dust out. It looks like a 1860's robot.

[@riffraff1880]

Chuck Sawdy cuz they had robots in the 1860’s..

[@chucksawdy7283]

@@riffraff1880 were you there?

[@riffraff1880]

Chuck Sawdy yes, chuck, I was fucking there... just like a 1860’s robot exists......... I was there.

[@sarevokanchev3616]

time to buy her a new one you cheap momo

[@zooyhnahte]

@@riffraff1880 Someone hasn't seen Wild Wild West...

[@Kylethetroll91]

Funniest guy alive 😂🤣

[@birsay123]

Lee is in over his head and treading water with these two.

[@bluespartaninc]

"You think those are fuckin wristlets Lee???" 😂😂😂wristlets

[@jackbnimble7517]

Haaa reminds me of when I was younger when we ran outta beer we'd go down to the bar and card the back door cus the deadbolt didn't work walk straight in the cooler and stack our little radio flyer wagon up with cases of beer

[@jf5357]

LEE PLEASE POST MORE LONG VIDEOS

[@zelkark9793]

Joey “in those days” Diaz

[@justfine77777]

Ken from Kentucky is one of the best stories ever!

[@paranoidandroid9979]

Lol as a Kentuckian I'll say we're not usually so selfish. We'll kill you with kindness out here. Fuck Ken he deserved it lol

[@justfine77777]

@@paranoidandroid9979 I have a brother in Madisonville. You guys are great down there. 👍🏽👍🏽

[@paranoidandroid9979]

@@justfine77777 oh awesome. I live about 45 minutes from Madisonville

[@knowmagick3054]

joey coco diaz is life

[@masongrant5025]

I love when he’s telling there’s stories and you can hear what sounds like somebody taking a bump and then clearing there nose. Idk if somebody’s Got a fucked up nose or if they’re in the studio doing blow but either way I love it 😂

[@Handcockmcgee]

17:00 joey getting cut off before saying some outta pocket shit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@imjrex]

I wonder how many people listening to Joeys stories are just figuring out who robbed them

[@tachanka1283]

J.Rex that mudah fuka!

[@LilTaco777]

Lmao miss these times

[@GodGainzz]

A can of sausages 😂

[@mattw337]

What the fuck did a toy James bond briefcase have to do with a god damn Kirby vacuum!?!?! Fuckin hilarious digression.

[@thatduudejoe_3268]

What episode is the last Joey does podcast

[@jonathanhonestly]

literally talking about vacuum belts " WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DEALING WITH BACK IN MY DAY I WAS THE KING OF VACUUM BELTS "

[@country4lyfe365]

Last time he told the story , he didnt take it all. He left him 400. Cause it was all he had. Lol.

[@briztevan]

High def!

[@clam4511]

Let’s goooooo

[@barrackobama5470]

13:47 oh for children 😂 theo thinking in the 70s you could go to toys-r-us and by a briefcase with a gun

[@Shan51AudioAlchemist]

Coco: "No word of a lie (insert lie...)"

[@anthonygiannone3643]

he fuckin whispers too like the feds are listening or something lol

[@ashleywhite1655]

I would of loved to of hung around with joey like you know for a fact your gunna learn sonething everyday haha