Have You Hit a Brick Wall in Life? (Watch This)

In this episode, we hear from a woman unsure of how to navigate life with multiple mental illnesses, a husband claiming to have zero things in common with his wife, and a woman who’s on a totally different page from her husband about their life and their business.
Link to my blog on "What is High Functioning Anxiety?" :
www.ramseysolu...
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.... We want to talk to YOU!
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
www.youtube.co...
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudslee...
- Churchill Mortgage - www.churchillm...
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: bit.ly/3cEP4n6
Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards:
bit.ly/3wkym67
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Watch and subscribe to all The Ramsey Network shows here: www.youtube.co...

[@SnapsCFB]

“If you don’t sleep, everything down the road is chaos….” as I’m watching this at 1am with work in the morning 💀

[@blueseptember2174]

Us functioning insomniacs would be great Lookout guards for sure 😅

[@megabyteme4488]

Same

[@JenniferAguiartampa]

Same! I woke up at 2 am and been awake since.

[@joanlovelace7338]

I feel ya 😅😅

[@icestationzebraassociates2460]

If you're feeling like she is (and I have) I'd recommend a side gig type job like door dash or shipt if you can do it. You just work as much as you want/need and you're done. No boss to tell you what to do or that you can't take the day off. You can listen to music/podcasts/audiobooks in your car if you want. You get to be outside a bit and move around. It's hard, but baby steps work. Just a reminder, too - you've made it through everything you didn't think you'd make it through so far. Keep going.

[@NoMoChacha]

"..there's a moment where you make peace with the fact that your body loves you so much it's trying to take care of you" This stuck with me, no matter my 'weakness/coping method' I have to thank my body for the alarms don't like my coping strategy but this is a first step for me, to break that cycle.

[@-KMA-]

I felt this as well. Sometimes we just need a mental/physical rest.

[@briannecaswell6204]

Same here!

[@dewilew2137]

To the first caller, thank you for your service...since no one else thought to say it to you. Idk why people think it’s okay to overlook the sacrifices made by non-combat veterans, and particularly when they’re female veterans. When it’s a man, no one even asks whether he was in combat, or even deployed, before they’re falling over themselves to thank him. 🙄

[@champabay4746]

It’s ok you will be fine

[@cameronedy3364]

She wasn't looking for a thank you, she was looking for help. Wasn't / isnt the time or place for that.

[@bbl2019]

I’m autistic and ADHD with cptsd. A lot of borderline and bpd is misdiagnosed when it is actually cptsd co-presenting with autism and adhd, which affects the nervous system and puts you in fight or flight. I’m actually thinking she might be overdiagnosed currently and needs to look into cptsd

[@joywebster2678]

Sadly many older therapists still translate cptsd into BPD. And shove CBT at their clients. In my work in Emergency mental health, I sure saw a difference in true BPD vs those with cptsd struggling to cope.

[@m.935]

@@joywebster2678 can you please tell what would be main differences?

[@joanlovelace7338]

First off congratulations on your strength, good for you. I agree I think Dr John could really help her and change her mindset. Have a great day👍

[@starlingswallow]

When you have a spouse who wants you to "be quiet" and not talk in order to "show them respect", HUGE red flag! Especially when her talking is an intricate part of _who she is._ *DEAL BREAKER* _period._ Respect goes both ways, and a healthy relationship has two voices and it's a safe place to voice anything in a calm, adult way. My ex wanted me, too, to shut up and _stand there_ until he needed me. He wanted a robot. Someone who had no needs, no opinions, no voice, and who could wait on him hand and foot and do everything HE said *without question.* 🤯 My sweet woman, you deserve soooo much better!!

[@JoshC-End-Abortion-Fear-God]

👍

[@ccalmus]

I understand that there are some narcissistic brutes out there, who want their partner to behave as they see fit, and that you come from that experience. However, I do not believe that the case in the last call is similar to yours. More than anything it feels like a conflict between extreme sides of extraversion vs introversion, which attract as opposites but do not mix too well, as the basis which make them function is completely different. As an introvert myself, social interaction can make me completely exhausted, and in order to recover from it I need to spend time by my on, learn something new or analyse something (pretty much living inside my own brain for a bit before being able to come out again). But extraverts usually do not seem to understand how important is alone time for introverts. And listening to the last lady I could not imagine putting up with her for such a long time as of 20 years as it seems that with somebody that extraverted her husband does not get enough alone time to recharge. The guy probably has loved her very much, and most likely still does, but over the years he has defaulted to just being there in this marriage because it is his duty. It is not that he doesn't like to hear her talk, but his brain is overloaded and he gets no space to recover from that. And this is why he feels like checking out from the relationship.

[@heatherkimler7607]

Robots now available

[@Hamyhamster24]

not everyone is meant to work 9-5. you don't like structures, predictability, stability, climbing the corporate ladder, etc. there's other ways to make money though...become your own boss and make your own hours...then you wont need to worry about these. instead you'll have 100 new things to worry about :) I used to be a 9-5 for 10 years. and now I'm a 14+ hours 'cause I decided to pursue my dream career. its a lot tougher than being in 9-5. the grass isn't greener on the other side. make a choice and the sacrifices that comes with it. nothing is easy.

[@Cyanopteryx]

Exactly. I'm on the autism spectrum and personally I have found that I can only sustain 30 hrs/wk. I'm lucky I've found a job that I can support myself and my family with those hours. Not everyone will be able to find something like that, but it's absolutely worth it to try.

[@rosalbadelriogarcia9598]

No autism spectrum...ADD ADHD bipolar etc is all nutritional and so is autism. If only one diagnosis was due to label all mental and emotional disorders it would just be ADD....or OCD...ever see your grandma work around the house? Or your grandpa leave real early to *work* and return real late only to find out he hung out with the boys at the shop he retired from? We are all like that....

[@ccramit]

​@@rosalbadelriogarcia9598Nutritional? Lol. You are funny.

[@joywebster2678]

RN and i chose Night shift to avoid the busy body managers, and extra disciplines interrupting my work. I did better in the quiet buried in my work with the patients,more in charge of the unit.,

[@wmluna381]

​@@joywebster2678Night shift is the best. I happen to have ADHD and have always had bad sleeping patterns. Getting myself and the household up and ready to go to school and work was (is) a nightmare. When it was just me, I skated by, but still not ideal. I've actually never been more on time for work and school drop offs by simply switching to 3rd shift (plus there's always that extra differential). I also love that I work generally by myself. Most of my coworkers are in other departments and we don't interact much beyond hellos. Even 2nd shift is better, but I agree the presence of extra coworkers, managers, clients/customers, and interruptions are a detrimental factor. So much less autonomy.

[@mahls93]

“It is what it is….but it will become what we make it.” Aaahhh - a wise counsellor that we saw said that to us and it stuck with me. She also said “Pain is in the Past Fear is for the Future Peace is in the Present”

[@blueseptember2174]

Putting this on my mirror thank you

[@joelobeck6214]

Huh.. there’s a part of me that relates to this woman. I was also military, came out a bit mentally messed up.. had a really hard time settling into a job , felt trapped easily. Still working through it, but at peace with life. I loved the notion of asking your body what it’s trying to protect. Good stuff.

[@whygowegabusch120]

Been out 13 years and still a mess.

[@barbarajean7208]

This was so incredibly helpful! I’ve had the thought that I need non-negotiables, but hesitated to do it for fear of “beating myself up.” What I forgot is these actions are those that make me feel better, in concert with my values, no matter how I feel. I’m recommitting today. Thank you!!

[@heidimartin859]

😂 He wants to talk about his job and he doesn't want her to have her own opinion.

[@TheQueenIsWithin]

It's true what John said about BPD. The less you give into feelings and just move on with what needs to be done the less you get caught up in the cycle. So, if you're afraid then do it afraid. If you're sad then do it with sadness. If you're elated then do but do it carefully and stay focused. You can't ignore how you feel yet you also can't ignore that you need to get things done to survive. The thing about BPD is that you experience varying degrees of paranoia. Some of it may be legit but we know all of it definitely isn't. Also you'll just have to see people as 'potentials' to stop the idealisation. Everyone is potentially something which gives everyone in your life room to be themselves without you attaching a fixed judgement to them. When every potential action takes place with them, you'll always be better prepared to deal with them.

[@amypeterson1969]

I appreciate your explanation of the BP2. I'd never heard of that diagnosis until recently & it's neat to find comments like yours that give a compassionate response 🥰

[@dewilew2137]

That’s so much easier said than done.

[@nothinwatever]

Thank you for this I actually screen shotted it 🙏 I have BPD (amongst many other things) and this explanation actually helped a lot I need to remember this ❤ thank you for sharing ❤

[@jameskniskern2261]

In our family culture we have "fire, flood, or blood" times. Those times set aside for us, when the only calls we take are if there is an uncontrolled fire, a flood, or somebody is bleeding. It worked great. And still does. I don't take calls after bed-time unless they are emergency calls. And yes, I've taken a few of those 2:30 am calls that were super important. But my friends and family know this about us. Just a boundary we have set up from the beginning.

[@wmluna381]

I've always said if someone calls me after 9PM at home there better be somebody dead or in the hospital. 😊 I like the specific fire, flood, or blood distinction.

[@candyluna2929]

Maven Is over diagnosed and is making her worse

[@JotLee]

Who are you to say that 🤨

[@zknight4481]

One MILLON percent

[@zknight4481]

@@JotLee Someone who understands basic abnormal psychology and knows she’s been diagnosed with multiple illnesses with overlapping symptoms. This is basic common sense and basic knowledge within the field- hence why Dr. John immediately led with hinting that she’s over diagnosed. ADHD and Bipolar almost never coexist because they’re very similar symptom wise and are just misdiagnosed as one another. Same thing for Bipolar Disorder and BPD. It happens, but it’s very rare for those two to coexist in the same person because psychology is naming a group of symptoms and when 8/10 symptoms from diagnostic criteria exist in both disorders, those other 2 symptoms are the differentiator and diagnosing both is irresponsible and potential malpractice. It’s either bad psychiatry or it’s straight up insurance fraud and they’re over diagnosing to make more from insurance. If you aren’t in this field and don’t understand anything about it, please shut up lol

[@TheRealJaded]

@@zknight4481you should shut up L O L

[@debbielockhart7762]

How do you know? From a single phone call?

[@kelseywentworth]

Delony is right... tampa girl pulls through and takes the baby steps... what she will accomplish personally and how she will impact the world will be incredible. I'm rooting for you! You will be amazing. Thank you for your strength.

[@christinabowling4373]

Love the show. John is great. But it's COULDN'T care less, not COULD care less. Big difference. Thanks again John for all you do🙂

[@dianekratz4205]

He kills with me the use of "internets" too. UGH. Otherwise, I enjoy listening to him!

[@kaylalindstedt6887]

Yes, every time he does that I yell the correct words.

[@tsmith1280]

Thank you Dr Delony! You are saving lives.

[@jamesstanton3280]

Agreed.he cares and doesn't ramble stupid stuff lol

[@JenniferJane78]

When one is a leader in business, rather than a manager, they teach the employees to handle crisis. The employees know the broker who handle's the company's insurance, they know where to find the contact information for next of kin if they is an injury or death. If the vehicle breaks down they know how to get a tow truck and rental vehicle. If you cannot break free of being a manager, it is time to get a business mentor and life coach, as you need to break the chains of not feeling good enough.

[@kaylasherrard3076]

One of my favorite episodes. Hoping all callers can successfully apply the advice given.

[@idnanflower]

Have to agree 100% as this was one of the best episodes I’ve seen.

[@christinerussell1132]

To the 1st caller,1st thank you for your service & I'm SOOOO Very sorry whatever happened has caused this!!! Am sending you virtual hugs with prayers for Mighty Warrior Angels to Surround & Protect you 💙 your story touched me Deeply... I'm 74 yrs old and I've fought through much of what you're going through since my childhood abuse etc. Everything Dr.John suggests is spot on..Animals have Always grounded me & been the thing that keeps me moving, perhaps dog walking or a dog washer at a groomers might be a way of easing into work?? Please take care & know that you are Worthy and Valuable ❣️

[@dewilew2137]

Thank you for thanking her. ♥️ I’m disappointed that he didn’t. I’ve noticed that many people do this to female non-combat veterans. As if the sacrifices they’ve made are somehow less meaningful and important.

[@christinerussell1132]

Dewi lew , as humans we will always disappoint & be disappointed 😞 man or woman, they should All be Thanked, Freedom isn't FREE!! I know of a young Marine who wasn't even out of boot camp & was raped, that person will NEVER be the same 😢but I can't imagine being Dr.John either, helping in the way he does...God have Mercy on us all 🙏

[@TheImperfectReader]

My jaw dropped when she said 20 year. She sounds SO young.

[@pierrebitcan]

Such solid advice. You're a good man, Dr John.

[@jcstuart6978]

The majority of people really have no idea what they are capable of. I think most people don't really fully grasp their "why," their purpose. Once you get ahold of that, you are all unstoppable, you won't even be able to get in your own way!

[@ArtAbsurdist]

Okay no offense but like adhd and bipolar and depression and anxiety don’t just come and go on the weekends or every other Wednesday uhh 🙄 her saying “when I just have adhd”- like you have it all the time, not just “sometimes” and the same goes for your other diagnoses. The only change would be the level in severity of symptoms. If you’re bipolar you’re bipolar EVERY DAY girlfriend

[@princess-pumpkin]

I'm trying to come from a place of compassion, because she's struggling, but to me it appears that she's hyper focused on all of the labels (and boy were there a lot!), which is really not helpful. From her own words it sounds like she's sitting there all day googling these terms, drowning herself. I'm wondering if her team are actually enabling her, rather than holding her to account.

[@camillagonzales2409]

Re call #3: hire a private detective and find out if he’s cheating.

[@hillarybillary21]

Literally my first thought.

[@-KMA-]

Sometimes we just need to listen in our marriages, regardless if we’re interested in what they’re talking about fully; just listening works wonders. We ladies are behind our husbands quite a lot but for that, we are left out so you can build your dreams. We are forgotten because it’s our job to take care of the house. We sacrifice too.

[@debbielockhart7762]

In what century? Many, many of us women these days are the main earner in the house. I don't sit back for anyone else's dreams. I have my own.

[@blueseptember2174]

The more i hear the first caller the more i think everyone is adhd and bipolar but just to varying degrees depending on how good our coping mechanisms are.

[@TG-nh6ni]

Or adhd/ Anxiety / depression

[@IFBBProYeo]

35:59 he can't find anything to say because he's so sure all she will say will be criticism, or want him to quit. Like she sees no value in his dream!!! Shame on her a bit, that's a terrible track record, but good for him realizing he has to cultivate the conversation! It's HARD to ask!! I've been there! &See where her stuff comes from. My guess is resentment about what rhe job does to him... plus she feels the silence too, & she nay feel its the job's fault & not know how deep her husband is thinking. Excellent story from Johns wife. Wow.

[@annepelletier3301]

The crash is part of the biology of the bipolar illness. Acceptance of this eases. Embracing the reality of illness, eases. It passes. Bipolar illness is not so much about trying to change the illness, you can't. You cannot change the illness any more than you could change any other illness. It's about rising above the illness, and it's effects, seeing the value of life by being grateful for what works. Rising above, .... I sometimes look at nature's example to raise my own tolerance. Everything in nature is an ebb and a flow. I'm simply intuned cyclically....and..that's OK.

[@sackettfamily4685]

I can relate to having episodes of mania. Over the years I've learned to calm down the highs and lows, so I don't think I could get a diagnosis officially from anyone. So I'll never really know what it was.

[@blueseptember2174]

Mine fluctuates with my cycle, so it'd probably be called something else. But I don't need it to be diagnosed as long as my current coping mechanisms are still working.

[@mba2ceo]

ITtis NORMAL to be depressed about forcing yourself being a slave

[@dewilew2137]

Absolutely. Unfortunately, most of us have no choice. 😔

[@angeleyes3386]

Prayerfully, nurses, doctors, your trash man, etc don’t feel like they are a slave because we need them. Their services have value. If you don’t believe it is, let them go on strike and it will change your time.

[@mba2ceo]

@@dewilew2137 Elites created a society that MOST MUST most for them

[@sabinedalianis2629]

I am very surprised, Delany is a real expert and his advise is fantastic. But the core activities are really impossible to keep going for me. I always start from the beginning. I have gotten better at controlling my mental disorders. But I have to struggle every day to do things others do without a problem. Love the way he talks to this young women and how well he can understand her feelings.

[@blueseptember2174]

The older I get the more I realize, others are not doing things without a problem. It just looks that way to us.

[@cecynay7369]

I've found that if you HAVE to do them, you find a way. My body needs to rest and has no motivation. But i also have a toddler and she requires me to give every ounce I have that I would say I don't have if I wasn't actively giving it. It doesn't mean I can give as much as others might be able to, or that I can if my situation were different. But having other people depend on you really pushes you and makes you live up to your potential, if you let it.

[@JenniferAguiartampa]

I can so relate to the last caller and not in the way other people have said. My husband has set back and I’ve don’t a lot of the. “driving”. We’ve been together for 25 years. A few years ago he started to want to do some of the “driving”. We approach just about everything in completely opposite ways. I realized he needed to be the driver sometimes. He wants to drive & have me enjoy the trip. It’s really hard sometimes but he’s worth it. Our family is worth it. ❤

[@joeystewart4487]

She cant care about him wo also caring about his job. It is a huge part of his life.

[@kelliek4830]

Great advice regarding the ADHA, I'm learning how to live with it after being diagnosed at 56 years old. It's a difficult thing to navigate, thanks Dr John x

[@triciacooper9317]

What the hell? That’s called life. Most people feel the same. We do this to support ourselves to avoid being a burdened to society, and our friends and family. We r all diagnosed with something. Life is tough.

[@m.935]

Most people are taught to navigate this stuff through childhood. Some parents neglect to teach their children basic executive skills for whatever reason. Add trauma to that and you have underdeveloped adult who is as disabled, as someone without arms and legs. No one can parent you anymore, you have to parent yourself but you lack the basic brain ability to parent yourself. It is hard for someone to imagine how it is to live without extremities. It is like saying to a person without hands that everyone struggles with opening jars, what are they complaining about.

[@danahoover1216]

im so happy to have found this crazy bunch. i live to watch you guys every single day, and i even watch the commercials. i love how so many daily episodes are very relateable. i recently called in and im praying kelly takes my call. im inches away from losing everything. please kelly.....take my call! ❤❤❤❤d from pa

[@username9999]

I really related to what John said about criticism. I have MAJOR rejection sensitivity that tells me that I'm a worthless failure if I get something wrong. I can't read replies because I will go into a depression and can't get out of bed, and just want to be dead. I mostly stopped commenting on anything for a while.

[@JeanJean1]

Don’t let other peoples words affect you! Most of the time people are just projecting their own stuff onto you. Just remember the saying our parents use to tell us as kids “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Easier said than done but it’s something you can put into practice

[@nancyrowe3964]

Oh my. I don’t want to hear the lady talk. She is all over the place with a lot of mindless details. Her husband is checked out and I checked out. She thinks she knows what everyone “feels”.

[@briannecaswell6204]

Is this a trauma response. Kinda an over exaggerating response to the flight and freeze response. Because I literally feel like I CANT just like Maven. I love the way he explains it. I have locked myself away for YEARS now. And my reality now. I literally feel stuck. Like i can't work.

[@TerriBennett-nf4vb]

thank you for your service

[@user-pk1zq6od2l]

I love the twin tower perspective, How ever if you are with a partner that refuses to want to build a new foundation and recalibrate his way of how he views life. He can help you or attempt to help rebuild the relationships, it will fall again and collapse:(

[@Kevin.Grindel]

John’s question about why the first caller deserves to fall from her manic state seemed pretty easy to me. In her manic state she bites off more then she can chew. Starts more things then she can successfully complete.. So her self talk tells her she sucks because she is failing and down she goes into depression. I would also offer that she is looking for Perfection and if you’re a person looking for perfection you will always be disappointed.

[@melraggedy]

Excercise is really helpful I am Bipolar PTSD and all off the above I don’t take all the medications only one and excercise helps

[@lauraedgeworth6719]

Don't most people feel this way in a job you don't like?!?

[@princess-pumpkin]

Yeah... I thought so too!

[@evachalupa6459]

You clearly haven't experienced the hell of depression (good for you). It's beyond comparison

[@jamesscanlan4201]

Dr John looks like he throws a wicked fast ball

[@b.1162]

I feel so bad for Christy. :( It's so hard when you're the only one trying to save your marriage and with 5 kids to boot.

[@joanlovelace7338]

"Can't " always seemed to me meant "won't "

[@elenifrili6730]

Dr John, for real: have you ever been considering about making comedy? You have a talent at this also. Seriously

[@kosyakovna]

The dude with the business is so “how do I make my wife do what I want” “what about my desires” “I imagined she would be like this how do I make her be that exactly how I want” and as soon as he hears that there’s another persons feelings and desires is almost sobbing like a disappointed toddler that is gonna cry if he’s not allowed to squish a cat

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

I have Borderline, PTSD, etc and saying I can't is the killer. It is the black and white. I quit my toxic job, took 5 months off of working and went to therapy. WE CAN work, but you need to look at yourself too.

[@joywebster2678]

Well said. My mom's sister married a man with untreated bipolar, and he had 7 siblings with it as well. I observed them from a distance growing up. His brothers who were treated held good jobs all their adult lives. The uncle kept a trade job and did ok with it because it had strict guidelines, rules, and his bosses understood he worked best alone on projects. BUT his one sister that married a well off husband, had meds but was a professional victim, and dramatic because she and her kids were financially secure. All her siblings changed their thinking and did their work, and had hobbies. Not perfect but liveable.

[@doreen1289]

No.. trap ..sales.. going to store to store. Or a driving job.

[@pilotoblackbird433]

I enjoy listening to my fiances drama and work stories lol

[@cyrilaco]

It's getting frustrating listening to advice that's constantly adjusting how men interpret what the women in their lives say. We constantly denigrate men for lack of communication and ability to express ourselves accurately, but at the same time, teach men that we need to read deeper into the words of sometime that can't accurately express what she's actually trying to say. If I need to learn to express myself better, why doesn't she. Little frustrated listening to the second caller. Especially the "I've been cheating on you with my business". That's a terrible way to view a discussion that attend from one person's lack of ability to record herself.

[@87Mtrujillo]

How do you work through this when, one partner says they want a divorce (the other doesn’t- but will do anything to make it work) the other is giving mixed signals by the week and seems present but the next so distant?

[@blueseptember2174]

Are they cheating?

[@barbiesergio7663]

I think Chris wants out of his marriage and is looking for a justification.

[@janethomas78]

she has to be out able to be moving around or in a business on her own. Yes

[@kevinrushing5667]

The language she uses implies that everything is outside of her control.

[@evachalupa6459]

That's the nature of those illnesses, that you don't have the power or energy to do what is needed

[@stephanietencate7857]

Maven ! Reach out to me if you want a semi flexible job where you don’t have to work for 40 hours straight

[@hillarybillary21]

Caller number 3. Men don’t check out unless they have another option waiting for them in the wings. Or at least a “hopeful” option. Please hire someone to follow him and I’m sure you’ll uncover the real reason why he doesn’t want you talking. 🙄

[@ccalmus]

The last caller seems to describe the chasm between extraversion and introversion. And then Dr John calls the husband as an immature child, which seems rather immature within itself. Well, nobody immature can put up with a marriage for 20 years and build up couple of businesses. As Dr John seems to be rather extraverted himself, it is probably easy to take that stance though, or he feels the need to show sympathy with the lady. And yes, I am hinting that Dr John does not understand the nature of introverts, or in the heat of the moment does not focus on that aspect. Introverts and extraverts can attract as opposites, but what makes them function is totally different, and it seems that in their relationship they have never managed to settle any ground rules what either of them needs so that both could feel fulfilled and happy. In addition, probably the extraverted side wants more attention than the introverted side is able to give out. And this is likely the reason for their relationship problems - lack of communication of what they need, or just the inability to completely understand what makes the other side tick. Imagine pushing yourself out of your social comfort zone for 10 hours at work in order to build your business, depleting your inner batteries, and then coming home to an extravert who needs attention and is chatting for the whole evening. After 20 years I would be checking out as well, not because not loving the extravert, but just running out of energy to take it any more. And by that time the chasm (or resentment) between the two has grown to an extent that seems impossible to overcome.

[@wmluna381]

Makes sense.

[@mikethemechanic7395]

Army vet here. I can call this lady out. I know she was in a relationship with a NCO who was abusive. I saw lots of guys pounce on new females in the Army. They ruin these women for life. I don’t get the cannot work thing. I have PTSD from not seeing combat. But I maintain a job and a wife if 24 years with 11 year olds. You don’t want to take any meds for mental health. I was diagnosed with adhd as a kid. ADHD drugs just came out in the early 80s. My parents refused to get me on meds. I don’t have any issues for years.

[@ArtAbsurdist]

This is some of the most violating and reckless advice I’ve ever seen. If someone is bipolar, they have to take meds. Unless you want to become their “next victim”. You can’t compare adhd to bipolar. Nor can you compare your adhd to her or anyone. And chances are, your adhd is half your problem with the comment you just made and the fact that you started this comment out by saying you’re going to “call this woman out” and then tell the world she was abused - NOT YOUR INFORMATION TO SHARE.

[@evachalupa6459]

Just because you can, everyone else can? Seriously?

[@marcast4897]

I had to fast fwd first caller sorry

[@joywebster2678]

Holy vocal fry on last female caller Christy. Is it her mike, or her voice technique? Yikes.

[@princess-pumpkin]

There seems to be so much of it nowadays! If you want to hear the worst vocal fry check out Lauren from MAFS australia. Like nails on a chalkboard!

[@user-rj1hz4sg8r]

Lazzzzzzy first caller

[@NoMoreRatRaceForMe]

Any time a man wants respect from his wife , which to us, is our version of LOVE- You trash it a just say the man is a child-

[@thelastminmom5251]

Lol…I don’t like Seinfeld either 😂

[@liamlynch2115]

If you’re a hammer, everything is a nail. Therapists and especially psychiatrists are very inclined to labeling issues as established conditions. I saw an online psychiatrist and there was little to no therapy, only medication. Let’s try this pill, let’s increase the dose, let’s add this other pill. It’s a joke.

[@joywebster2678]

Not true. A psychiatrist will tell people they have no illness that requires drugs, but rather sends them to therapy. Butvso many people self diagnose and beg for meds they will start mild antidepressants to see if it moves mood. Those with the two diagnoses that must take meds are schizophrenia and bipolar, and it takes time to balance doses. Maligning all Dr's doesn't achieve anything.

[@CiMcM135]

He is really harder on the men callers. Just imagine the genders reversed

[@juliedewyer1366]

When you wallow in your self pity instead of growing up and being an adult. Stop making excuses.

[@evachalupa6459]

You've clearly never had depression

[@michellebailey206]

Hey! John's ambidextrous.

[@Whosonthird]

Deloney said that he “doesn’t lie on the show” does that mean he lies in other aspects of his life??😅

[@krissypeters1517]

Talk about false hope delony you should have been straight up w the 3 caller … it’s done - it’s not a 40 year old it’s a 95 year old …dead … who the f holds on to hi hopes ? Maybe worked for you - you’re on the biz …that lady was in pain and pathetically so - you should have been upfront - shame on you

[@andrewivarson7891]

Oh, the trauma of pogs, personell other than grunts, who never fired a round.. probably got so called ptsd in basic training.

[@MrMistajone]

I love the last women & I'll pray for her situation. But her voice made me want to jump off a building.

[@jeradkiester698]

Her husband too.

[@staceylebron944]

Made me get why he says “just be quiet.”

[@debbielockhart7762]

Me too. She was getting on my nerves - I van see how her husband must be exhausted listening to it non-stop.

[@mba2ceo]

I am here for the SIMPING

[@ElleMonzon]

What does this mean? Internet search on the term has proved unhelpful. Not sure what you mean by it, and simping from whom

[@CHrisPetE056]

Chris from TN. Hmmmm I have often asked this of my husband. Let’s talk, tell me about your day? What did you do? Anything exciting? I’m at work all day and he’s been home…i com home and get one word answers, I feel I have to dig for every nugget of information. Like a detective I ask many questions just to get to what did you have for lunch? Is that so hard? Just to talk? But then I think maybe it is hard? He often wonders what do I talk about with my friends or family in the phone? Because I can talk for an hour. Maybe He’s struggling with something and he doesn’t or can’t tell me. But I think I really do care what he had for lunch. I think I just want him to engage with me since he’s been alone all day. Ahhhhh but we have been married 36 years not 3. Maybe he know everything😂 or he thinks he does. I’ll keep asking and I know that he does feel proud of me, he likes me , he loves me, he just isn’t chatty. I think I need to take time every night to look at each other, no TV no phone and just have a good chat. Maybe we can both learn something. Side note: I knew he was right for me when he was willing to watch the Star Wars trilogy all in one day. This was 1987 so I’m talking about the original epi 4,5,6. 🤘🏼. ❤❤❤

[@joywebster2678]

My cousin is a typical gregarious boisterous FF, his wife I call the wraith. She does work, but she is soooooo introverted her husband, spends most of his time with their 15 yr old son, while she reads or writes on her own. He loves her, but from the outside I wanna say, come on girl have that dinner conversation, or let husband have his group of six cousins over force pool party, we will bring the snacks, and ifvyoubwant to hide inside we can handle it. So I get both sides of styles but both have to make an effort outside their comfort zone to be a couple.