My Affair Cost Me My Marriage and My Job

[@thomaspugh9969]

He never says he regrets cheating on his wife. All he moaned about was losing his job, his way of life and having to tell one of his kids she might have to move again. Its all me me me...typical selfish behavior when cheating. He is still in the affair fog.

[@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose]

Trueee. He talks about his wife like a guest/ supporting role/ character of a movie. Once an a hollle, always an a hollle.

[@truthisinthebible]

@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose hollle? means what?

[@wurmluv4256]

youre right i didnt even catch that

[@patriciasmith8334]

​@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose You're right! I didn't catch that either. He was still talking about being with this other woman but because she knew he was married maybe he should end it. No accountability for his part, still trying to save his ego and cover everything up. He hasn't learned yet.

[@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose]

@@patriciasmith8334 Right ✅️ He never should be involved in a love relationship, especially not with women, again. He h4tes women to the core, even his sidechick. He loves himself & his career.

[@abbiedevey1555]

Dude mentioned losing his job before the fact that he lost his wife due to cheating... That says a lot.

[@1CelloOne]

He did say he’s ready to change, and he mentioned he feels shameful. It sounds like he’s ready to make a change. He just doesn’t know how, that’s why he’s reaching out to Dr. John.

[@lisap3628]

​@@1CelloOne I think Abbiedevey1555 meant that him mentioning his job loss "before" mentioning hurting his wife and ruining his marriage sort of indicates his priority is not tending to his hurt wife and ruined marriage. He's more concerned with losing his job.

[@1CelloOne]

@@lisap3628 ahhh, yes, i understand. Good point.

[@Christian-vd3nk]

The order of presentation could indicate the level of shame he feels around both issues, not necessarily how little he feels about them.

[@rachelgooden9981]

@@Christian-vd3nkexactly

[@JoelWende]

You don’t get fired after 20 plus years at a company for sharing one ‘secret’ with a fellow employee. There’s more to this story than we are being told!

[@Emptytopfloor]

I was thinking the same.

[@MsMinoula]

and he says it wasn't even "particularly sensitive" ?

[@richardw3470]

He said something about 'not remembering'. There's a possible problem in back of it.

[@Underthesycamoretree]

He shared company secrets with someone who shouldn’t have been privy to the information.

[@JoelWende]

@@Underthesycamoretree He claims to be a 20 + year employee earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. That means he’s bringing triple that into the company. Unless he’s working for the CIA you don’t get fired for sharing a ‘not particularly sensitive’ secret with your romantic partner, who also works at the company. You just don’t.

[@TheLynLyn57]

His coworkers 100% know. These people always think they're slick, when in reality the whole town knows.

[@brittanyb5942]

Yes 😂😂

[@jackiefeliciano718]

I Once had a boyfriend cheat on me with another co- worker. I would people gossiping about them while sitting at my desk. Piece of crap human being!!!!

[@flyovercountry4948]

Not to mention that this is par for the course in these organizations.

[@evej865]

Three people told me my husband was cheating until he accidentally pocket dialed me while on a date with her. The whole town always knows. I remember one woman coming to me, grabbing my shoulders and looking me right in the eyes. Then she says "I want to know that you're ok". After his pocket dial I suddenly knew she knew. it's humiliating. He was also fired from his job.

[@JVLIVSPhotography]

30 years ago, I got fired from Meijer from two racist managers-one of them had to step down from a gray vest to a red vest (yep, that far back), the other was his superior who was married and was fooling around with another manager who was also married. Corporate found out and had them reassigned. That was last in ‘96-‘97. IDK or care how them fools are doing now… Whereas I’ve leveled up on several occasions since then!

[@DDubs-bi9zc]

Zero sympathy. Absolutely none. He has regrets because of the outcome to him, not the family he let down.

[@GlendaJustice]

Exactly what I thought!!

[@XSadaX]

True. I dislike men who can't man up and own up their mistakes. Stop crying, I'm second hand embarrassed.

[@kathysealy6615]

I don't hear where he's taken any responsibility. His wife left because he's been having an affair, and if that's not low enough he's seeking sympathy from his 10 year old daughter.

[@moaraa2575]

Thank you!!!! He started his call by saying he wants to change from all these misdeeds he’s done. However, when he explains, its not that he’s sorry for what he’s done he’s sorry because it all caught up to him. Now it’s his career that is making him take responsibility.

[@johnsonjj117]

@@moaraa2575People only need help changing when it’s something they don’t really want to change…but know they need to. People who want to change will change.

[@AlwayzPr0]

homie lit the whole house on fire and now surprised it burned down

[@wurmluv4256]

literally

[@FormerMexican69]

He’s already beating himself up enough. So many people in these comment sections constantly saying “what an idiot, I would have done this and this and that” like you’re all so perfect

[@lenorepaletta9267]

Perfecto response!

[@AlyssaIrvine]

​@@FormerMexican69 The universe doesn't care how you feel about your karma.

[@jzenlasaar7558]

I disagree with a lot of commenters, I think he’s remorseful. That said, he made that bed and he has to move on and fix things

[@drn13355]

"it wasn't really a big deal" "I don't remember doing it". Yeah he Is nowhere near changing. He is minimizing and deflecting. He hates the consequences, but not really forthcoming.

[@joanlovelace7338]

Did I miss something, I didn't hear "it's not a big deal, I don't remember doing it." Also I saw a man that was in a deep valley and wanted out for he pretty much said that at the beginning.

[@reeseb8520]

​@joanlovelace7338 it's said at the beginning. He said the company secret wasn't that sensitive of information (I'm paraphrasing). When John asked if he was fired for sharing the company secrets, he said what the company's reasons were "factual" and he didn't remember doing it but he found old text messages confirming it.

[@KatAdVictoriam]

@joanlovelace7338 He said that he didn't recall ever texting/divulging to the other woman those sensitive work secrets that got him fired. He said he was shown the receipts of what he told her and didn't remember. Which is really bad honestly.

[@aaabbb8812]

​​ And he's even dumber than he sounds- you can be sure this was all done on a COMPANY PHONE. THAT'S why he got caught!! Dumb and dishonest and horny- the trifecta of assholery. They were monitoring his use of a company phone.

[@aldenasuemia]

Not to mention blaming the mistress for knowing about his marriage and having her own side relationship, as if SHE was the bad one.

[@calgal5752]

Did he say he was having a hard time letting the affair partner go? But he could let the wife & daughter go……..that says it all bud

[@thornyrose1235]

Yep. Having a hard time letting her go because she gives him cheap validation while she's also the one who snitched on him

[@SherriFlemming]

Workplace romances can blow up your career. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Never Forgive The Unforgivable ( Cheating For Example) - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Marriage And Severe Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@diahannab5072]

That’s because the wife is now done. He said the house was a start over and now he’s cheating. So she’s done. The ow may not be , and she’s sticking around thru the marriage she’ll stick around now. But the wife is done and he knows it.

[@SherriFlemming]

@@diahannab5072 Indeed. Done.

[@celrocc8766]

Cheating is never a mistake or a single bad decision. It's a series of choices that lead up to the act itself. You don't look at someone & sleep with them immediately. You choose to entertain conversations outside of work or work subject matter. You choose to meet in secret. You choose yourself over your marriage & family. Cheating can be a lot of things but a mistake is not one of them. It's very much intentional & that's also why the betrayal is felt beyond just the marriage (children, family, mutual friends) & so deeply.

[@justacoginthefkery]

Exactly! The definition of a mistake: a wrong action/ statement from faulty judgement, inadequate knowledge or inattention. An ongoing affair that takes continued effort & planning knowing full well of the potential consequences is NONE of those things.

[@TexasGal.]

Facts

[@michvie876]

This! So well said and so true.

[@MsJoyce31202]

👍

[@SherriFlemming]

This man accepts some ownership. Divorce Lawyer On Signs Of A Doomed Relationship- James Sexton podcast 🌞 Never Forgive The Unforgivable - Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Marriage And Severe Avoidant Attachers- Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@actuallyterry]

I hope his wife doesn't take him back. All it would show him is that it's OK to cheat on her.

[@frizzyrascal1493]

I agree with this sentiment. I could never trust a cheater ever again. It’s not hard not to cheat, I stand by this.

[@V31lCl0ud]

No empathy. The online troll way.

[@christinahek]

I can see him taking her kindness as a sign he needs to get her back. All she needs to do is make sure him losing his job doesn't mean he misses payments and screws up her credit.

[@Ara-xs2vg]

@@V31lCl0ud It's actually empathy for the wife, she deserves to be with someone who respects her and values her, this man doesn't even regret cheating on her

[@frizzyrascal1493]

@@V31lCl0ud Where’s the empathy for her or the kid? He promised her this would be the last time they’d move around. Imagine how crushed she will be. Daddy needs to step up.

[@CarolinaHowe-Piper]

As compassionate as I am - I’m struggling to find empathy for someone who’s cheated on his wife at their mutual place of work for years.. I hope his mistakes will teach him a lesson and he’ll manage to become a better person… I feel so bad for his wife…

[@stingray0033]

I think that was harder to say.

[@snoozyq9576]

​@@stingray0033harder than what

[@jameemcwhirt6075]

The fact that she asks what she can do to help even after that broke my heart. He hurt someone whose intentions were pure and who truly loved him. So sad.

[@SherriFlemming]

Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@Sara-x6t3s]

Tbf this couldn't have happened to a more deserving person... he's got a TEN year old little girl and he destroyed her life and betrayed her mother. My father did the same to me around the same time in my life. I forgave him which devalued myself, my mother, and all women in the process. Then I grew up and saw him for what he was, a pos who deserved nothing. Just like this loser. Men like this are truly just Evil. One cannot do what he did and not be.

[@ashassassin]

Dude is in his find out season. Hope he realizes his choices got him where he is today.

[@skarac3224]

They're supposed to be so logical and rational lol

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@skarac3224they are supposed to be the head

[@daniella8400]

@@skarac3224nothing about them is logical

[@sweetbriarhuslin7371]

Flip it around and I know y’all would be mad at the consequences…

[@miketheyunggod2534]

Yea ok. 🙄.

[@ReginaM2U]

I'm so proud and happy to see in the comments section that MEN calling out BS on this caller....you MEN ROCK!!!!

[@inkpearls3364]

YESSSS!!! I WAS JUST GOING TO COMMENT THE SAME THING!!!! SO PROUD OF THESE GUYS IN THE COMMENTS!!!! KEEP GOING, GUYS!!!!!! TELL THIS GUY, AND ANY CHEATERS THAT MAY BE LISTENING & READING THE COMMENTS HOW “REAL” MEN BEHAVE!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@SherriFlemming]

Absolutely. Accept ownership. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Divorce Lawyer On Signs Of A Doomed Relationship -James Sexton podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@BREEZYM6015]

Hi.

[@BREEZYM6015]

​@@inkpearls3364Hey there.

[@ethxo6734]

He wasn’t crying when he was cheating. Bye. 👋

[@alluringbliss4165]

He’s sorry he got caught

[@justanotherday08]

​@alluringbliss4165 100% you can hear it in how he tells the story

[@cucar8363]

LOL...

[@DeeDiamond2981]

This.....

[@moaraa2575]

@@alluringbliss4165 he’s sorry he lost his job and his career.

[@DeathsWarmEmbrace]

This is the exact kind of guy that blabbers secrets to hot women over drinks and then realizes James O'Keef is recording him and it gets posted online lol. Come on bro

[@sarahbrown1890]

Best underrated comment. 👍

[@Carcosa_1]

😂😂

[@garfieldGG]

Hahahaha some dudes just can’t think with anything other than their johnson.

[@taintedgooch]

I was thinking the same thing lol

[@honieebean]

🤣 suddenly things make alot more sense 😂

[@Donttouchme524]

I dont feel bad for him. This is a tale as old as time. Stop cheating and thinking it will be a-ok. It wont

[@rhettfreeman8186]

Acting like women are not the main cheaters in 2024 is laughable. Monkey branchers in chief

[@Kosikowski-715]

Amen. People need to GROW UP

[@sweetbriarhuslin7371]

buttt if it were the other way around “well he should have done more!”

[@erinwill6743]

​@sweetbriarhuslin7371 no not at all. Women should be held to the same standard

[@stephengallagher2209]

If he were a woman, you'd be on his side.

[@katcraig7525]

Having an affair for two years isn't a mistake. That's a decision continously made over & over again for two years.

[@wm7929]

I said the same thing after my wife cheated, but after a couple years I'm getting more OK with calling it a mistake, I'm thinking you can make deliberate decisions and it ultimately have been a mistake; for example, many of us have thought that getting married to / staying with our cheaters is also a mistake...

[@lorainefleeman6011]

It is a mistake. It's just not an accident. Mistakes aren't one time oopses. Mistakes more often happen over years. Accidents are.

[@thesimplesojourner1062]

@@wm7929 your more ok because you've settled for being disrespected on the highest level.

[@BREEZYM6015]

​@@lorainefleeman6011It's not a mistake, it's a choice. He decided to keep doing it over the course of two years.

[@selfgrowth4619]

Why even argue whether this was a mistake or a choice. Could be either, could be both. Nobody has to live with the consequences of his actions but himself. There should be no tolerance for cheating, period. No relationship can be “fixed” from it.

[@rocky_robinson]

1. Naive of him to think that no one at work knew about the affair...they always know! 2. He told his daughter that he screwed up at work. Not that he cheated on her mother and destroyed the family. It's always about work, never about the family. He cares more about looking good to the kids. 3. Good luck finding a good job if your prospective employer finds out that you shared company info.

[@CrystalM1917]

Notice he didn't call in until he lost his job but cheated 2yrs ago, yet listens to John "all the time"......his priorities are all about what is affecting him and its the loss of his job that all of a sudden has him crying and reaching out for help...

[@cassietheboss9211]

Right...John is faithful and honest to his wife. What the hell has he been listening to. He has no morals!

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

True if he was listening to John all along he'd actually learn something of value from these callers

[@teralecole316]

He doesn’t regret cheating. It’s the consequences he regrets He would be still cheating had he not lost everything.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

He only mentions her income 😂

[@cassietheboss9211]

​@@gostavoadolfos2023notice that??? How pathetic 😂

[@SherriFlemming]

Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@KatAdVictoriam]

What are the odds he was telling his AP for years "We're separating. We're only together for our kid. We don't sleep in the same bedroom...etc etc." Which is what these guys always say. Every...single...time. And then when the AP found out he had zero intention of actually leaving his wife for her, she betrayed him because she was fed up? I don't feel bad for this guy. He thought he could have both worlds and found out...Good for his wife for leaving. This guy would've never stopped the nonsense had he been able to keep hiding it.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Agree! His AP used that anger and betrayal ( to her ) to ruin his life.

[@lucindabreeding]

​@@Gotoworkkkif someone will cheat with you, they are showing you they are capable of the most personal violation.

[@MelinParis1]

This!

[@KatAdVictoriam]

@lucindabreeding Exactly. Anyone willing to crush their child, their spouse, the affair partners potential family, all for their selfish reasons and keep up deception and indignity for years... what is a little extra betrayal to make that ruin complete? This guy and his AP are awful garbage people.

[@janelletonini8823]

That makes a lot of sense. That tells me this man isn't very intelligent as well as being a cheater.

[@MarinePigVa]

Stepping out on your marriage should cost you everything.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Yes.

[@Chet_24]

No. It should be based on % of income brought and then go your separate ways.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

@@Chet_24 Not if children are involved, and one spouse gave up their career and income to raise a family.

[@bernadettesolomons1870]

@@Chet_24Lol! For cheating and wasting someone else’s time, he should get zero

[@erikrohr4396]

​@@Chet_24 Can evil ever be atoned for?

[@swasje]

The GALL this man has to criticize his affair partner when he's the one who was married. Yes, she definitely has fault too, it takes two to tango, but he wasn't thinking this lowly about her while he was sleeping with her, was he?

[@CrystalM1917]

@@swasje exactly, and judging her as if he wasn't the other half of the affair. The audacity is wild.

[@thornyrose1235]

He's a classic cake-eater. He wants the nice, caring, hardworking wife at home while he has his fun on the side because he's this big man on campus who makes a lot of money so he deserves both. Now he has nothing but a failing relationship with a mistress

[@manifest2203]

Haven’t you heard? M4n aren’t accountable at all, acc to them.

[@SmileySaidIt]

One thing a man will have, is audacity lol

[@MissDeTria]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Exactly!!! I swear!! These married men saturate the dating market! I just shut down a married man at work yesterday who was laying it on thick! As the single woman at work, only I would get hurt and fired!! Get outta my face Mr. Man!!

[@CrystalM1917]

Notice how ex wife is gone with the wind ladies???💨💨 Important to make your own money or have the ability to so you're not stuck with this type of man for the rest of your life. 💯

[@karenguzman5209]

The one thing that this blog has shown or confirmed for me is that Marriage is a sham.

[@sherriew36]

That part 👏🏾💯

[@lorainefleeman6011]

I thought they were already separated. But his wife wants to help him. She really loves him.

[@CrystalM1917]

@lorainefleeman6011 yeah they are already divorced, but she left him when he cheated....she didn't stay around is what I was saying. I don't know if she loves him or not but she loved herself more in order to leave. She may just be a good person and still sees him as the father of their child so from that standpoint is willing to help from a distance.

[@ronhall5395]

Dude broke so many rules of basic life. You don't cheat on your spouse. If you do cheat, you never cheat with a co-worker. You never talk about work with others. His wife seems like a great person. So he destroyed all.of that out of ego.

[@aladdout9454]

"if you do cheat..." why would u even say that💀💀💀💀💀

[@epicppg]

That part came from “Rules of Basic Cheating” 😂

[@ReginaM2U]

Thanks for calling BS on this selfish boy!! The women of this world respect you!

[@SherriFlemming]

Marriage And Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@ronhall5395]

​@@aladdout9454 only because people do stupid stuff. If you're gonna be stupid, don't be this stupid.

[@lucindabreeding]

None of us are the worst thing we've ever done. And yet ... Infidelity is such a deep betrayal. For the person who is betrayed, it cracks EVERYTHING. You can't even look back at photos and trust your memories about how happy or loved you might have felt. I don't think I could risk a relationship with someone with a history of infidelity, even if they had completed a fearless, searching moral inventory of themselves, because they have shown themselves that they can hurt the people they say they love most for their own pleasure. It's such a character issue.

[@ChanoLeyva-hq2ci]

Nah dudes can bang other chicks and it means nothing, who cares he should have been more careful

[@liliarosales1961]

Beautifully said! 100% agree

[@lorrainem8234]

I am living this and how you said it is so true.

[@bubblebellaful]

this is brilliantly said.

[@NRQ-zv5bp]

A 2 year affair is unforgivable

[@AC-ly6tg]

I was cheated on recently. They always cheat on the “great best person”

[@caseyjude5472]

It seems like it’s only the great best person when they get caught.

[@SmileySaidIt]

@@caseyjude5472Bingo

[@bibifrancis758]

Yup!!

[@melodysuain3239]

Absolutely right! I got the, "I found out she wasn't you," routine when he tried to come back.

[@meganbaird0609]

My dad cheated on my Mom after 20 years and five kids. I was 16 at the time. She wised up and divorced him. He was on wife number three when he got colon cancer and I believe he cheated on her as well. We just had his funeral last week and it was so sad to see how few people were there because his selfish behavior blew up SO many lives. I hope this guy takes this to heart or he will end up hurting everyone around him with no one left to care. I pray the wife doesn't get sucked back in. As a grown child of this, I can't even describe the deep wounds this causes for kids.

[@kevinmiller8443]

If he didn’t lose his job…he would still be doing this.

[@thesimplesojourner1062]

facts

[@mrstud559]

When stupid people play for stupid prizes. If you would've just have more integrity, none of this would've happen. You earn what you deserve!!!

[@drn13355]

I am not really buying his story. He is doing anti-social things both at work life and personal life. More of a borderline personality DO which is very very hard to change. Even listen as he says what he did he minimizes and deflects "it wasn't a big deal" "I don't remember doing it".

[@texasrodeogirl3814]

I hope his wife finds an awesome stand up guy who loves her enough to have character, honor and integrity. This guy is only worried about the stuff that provides the trappings of success because he got caught. Notice how he never asked how he could have a path forward with his wife but asked about a possible path with the ho he cheated with. He’s only sorry he got caught.

[@wurmluv4256]

frr

[@patriciasmith8334]

Exactly!!

[@tanyawins]

I love my Dr John family… straight, no chaser 😂

[@moaraa2575]

I hope this wife realizes even if she is never with anyone she’s strong enough to take care of herself, her daughter and have a happy life. Mostly she’s teaching her daughter how to be strong self reliant and lastly of what not to find in a partner. I took a little offense when Dr Deloney said the mistress was worthy as well. I don’t think she is. He said not only was she aware that he was married but she too was in another relationship. Doesn’t sound like worthiness to me. Maybe he meant him being honest and cutting it off.

[@janelletonini8823]

This man sounds like he has zero integrity. He deserve the full consequences for his awful choices. Hopefully he leaves his poor wife alone, that would be the best possible outcome for her and the kids.

[@melaluxe8195]

I honestly don’t feel bad. My dad did this and it’s devastating to witness as a child. I don’t think he’s remorseful for his actions…he’s sad that he lost his job and can’t afford to live the big life anymore… he lost the stability that his wife provided in the home, the stability that gave him the freedom to cheat and destroy his family. He needs to be thinking about how he’s gonna repair the relationship with his daughter, as she grows older how will his actions affect her romantic relationships? His actions have a huge ripple effect and I don’t think he truly realizes it…

[@Erica-wz8yv]

How is your relationship with your dad now? If you don’t mind me asking. My ex husband did something similar and I worry how this will affect our 6 year old daughter.

[@TL-ch1xd]

He even projects trying to make it seem like it is his daughter that needs a big, fancy home … 100 % his daughter much rather would have wanted to have loving and respectful parents with integrity while living in a bit more modest house. A family that is loving and caring and respect the other family members doesn’t need to chase money and fancier homes. This man says things like “part is ego” when it is completely ego what he says.

[@blueseptember2174]

Definitely affects the next two generations

[@melaluxe8195]

@@Erica-wz8yv it’s heartbreaking. I had bouts of depression throughout my adulthood and didn’t pursue romantic relationships because “I was focusing on my career” but after going to therapy and unpacking it, I realized that I developed this avoidant attachment style because of the betrayal to my mother and our family structure at the hands of my father. I was protecting myself from going through that pain all over again from another man but in the process I was depriving myself of a fulfilling relationship. As an adult now I try and view him as a person and not so much as my father and that helps me maintain the relationship with minimal resentment, but it’s still complicated. Your ex husband needs to be intentional about healing that wound, building a relationship with her and leading as a better example of man. Kids are smart, this isn’t something that you can just glaze over hoping that the kid will forget…

[@Erica-wz8yv]

@@melaluxe8195 sorry to hear. That is heartbreaking. Wishing you peace and healing. And thanks for responding ❤️

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

[@GregMunro]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@GregMunro]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

You wont regret it

[@SherriFlemming]

Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@Erica-wz8yv]

I feel for the ex-wife and daughter. I’m in a very similar situation so I know the pain. But I’m happy for her in that she’s away from this scumbag. Blessing in disguise.

[@SherriFlemming]

I'm sorry to hear this. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@elizabethmurray7815]

He's finally having to be accountable for his actions I have no pity after having to deal with a cheating husband KARMA IS A BIT-H

[@SherriFlemming]

Marriage And Severe Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

[@emptysoul5057]

Man had it all and pissed on it

[@664nmg]

It’s called greed.

[@QCL2023]

It takes him 6 minutes to finally come out and say “it was an affair”. What a loser. I hope the wife takes everything from this fraud.

[@CrystalM1917]

Right. He would've never called if he hadn't lost his job.

[@hanamas6239]

Well him having an affair doesn't mean she has the right to take everything he has stop with the nonsense. I am a woman but lets be fair when talking and not talk out of revenge

[@honieebean]

Dude is more sad about the job than having an affair on his wife, at their workplace Trash

[@Catmom-gl5nt]

And more sad about losing the side piece than his wife and child. Moreover, his daughter will now interpret all future relationships through the lens of her father’s infidelity.

[@michellebreedlove2711]

He led with "I lost my job" rather than the fact that he betrayed his wife, destroyed his family, and lied to his employer. He was shady in ALL aspects of his life and it caught up with him. It's called consequences. And why want to be with a woman that aided in the destruction of your family? You think your daughter will EVER look at that side chick and see anything other than someone that hurt her and her mother? Wake up and be the dad you are supposed to be. Every single moment you spend with her is a moment being taken from your daughter.

[@moaraa2575]

This is not a good father. A father who can betray his wedding vows and leave his family for an AP is NOT A GOOD FATHER!

[@christinahek]

One small note in his defense (and I can't believe I'm saying that), it sounds like his wife left a while ago and the firing just happened.

[@janelletonini8823]

@@christinahek maybe, maybe not but are we supposed to overlook the fact this guy is a total piece if s$%t. He sounds like a dishonest person overall, not just his personal life. So assuming your correct, it's hard to expect people to be present in their marriage when they have an awful spouse. She is the only one in this call that sounded like a kind person.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

He only mentions the wife 2 times, first her asking him how to help (which sounds sarcastic to me) and 2nd hee having a good income.😅

[@CelluliteYogaPants]

Some people care about consequences and not actually regret their bad behavior.

[@nikkimerry7950]

I don’t believe Daddy loves his daughter because he’s literally showing her it’s ok to treat women like absolute garbage without a care about their feelings. He’s a pathetic insecure loser who needs attention from randoms to feel good about himself. I hope he spends the rest of his life miserably aware of the repercussions of his morally bankrupt behavior.

[@Stanley_Baby]

The fact that you want this man to suffer for the rest of his life for sin shows you are a godless freak.

[@honieebean]

He's also treating that daughter like trash and teaching her that even though he promised a stable home, he lied, made bad choices for years, and blew it all up

[@tomw485]

He’s a bad husband but he loves his daughter. Letting someone down isn’t the equivalent of not loving them.

[@CrystalM1917]

He shouldn't make promises to his daughter he can't keep. He needs to say, "sorry my little member trumps you baby girl." How pathetic.

[@cya6154]

@@tomw485 nope you don't put your private part's pleasure before your children.

[@youtubeKathy]

Wow, his wife is an amazing woman. That's better than revenge, just let him see what he lost for some blankity blank at work, and he knows the new woman wasn't worth it. Sounds like she backstabbed him with the information he shared. wow. The fantasy fell flat.

[@moaraa2575]

I don’t think he knows the AP is not worth it. He said he doesn’t want to let her go because of how she makes him feel.

[@Ara-xs2vg]

@@moaraa2575 It's always like this with cheaters, he never talked about anything in particular he liked about the AP, he just talked about how she made him feel, even if objectively he knew she wasn't a good person

[@youtubeKathy]

@@moaraa2575 he revealed something when he tried to say she knew he was married and John cut him off. I sensed some contempt. You can still be addicted to someone that you know is a toxic. He knows.

[@anyagee9467]

I disagree. She keeps doing his emotional labour. Enough is enough.

[@youtubeKathy]

@@anyagee9467 don't say "emotional labour" 🤣 That's a term Cluster B woman use.

[@ché_1987]

PSA to potential cheaters - is the few minutes of excitement worth losing your spouse, children, family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, house, bank accounts, assets, retirement and sanity? Probably not.

[@bettysmith4527]

You got what you deserved sir!! I hope your wife does not take you back, and wins in court!

[@truthisinthebible]

So harsh.... 😕

[@Mmmmkaaay]

​@@truthisinthebibleWhat's harsh is sticking your peter in a woman who isn't your wife.

[@moaraa2575]

@@truthisinthebiblereality!

[@janelletonini8823]

​@@truthisinthebibleit's not harsh. He's experiencing the consequences of his actions. That's how it should be. This man has SERIOUS intergirity issues.

[@snoozyq9576]

​@@truthisinthebiblewouldn't it be harsh for people to get cheated on with no consequences. That would be harsh.

[@Misbehavedcollection]

And what did he think he was going to get? Rewarded? Lol, cheaters deserve each other.

[@arcsphere]

The more that guy talked the more I disliked him.

[@AbsurdExistentialist]

Is it the stuttering?

[@miketheyunggod2534]

I’m sure you’re not peachy.

[@arcsphere]

@@AbsurdExistentialist of course not.

[@arcsphere]

@@miketheyunggod2534 Mike, are you actually Matthew from Dallas?

[@GallifreyanOrphan]

It's the self-pity and lack of accountability or remorse. He's compartmentalized the terrible things he's done so that he can minimize them and tell himself that these are things that happened to him, not things that he did to himself. He was juggling chainsaws and is just devastated he cut an arm off without seeing that he enthusiastically pursued the path that got him here. One could even say his arm off and his wife's too, but he's not interested in her pain or the effects this will have on his daughter's future. Delony tells him he's a good father, but what he doesn't say is that studies show she will have difficulties and extreme trust issues with any romantic relationships in the future because the model that she has for a man has shown that someone can build a life with you and you can trust them with your heart and soul and that no matter how good of a person you are to them, it might just take one cute young thing winking at him for him to chase that new relationship energy and rewrite your story that he just never loved you to begin with.

[@joank.0421]

It hurts my heart that people cheat 💔 At any point during an affair, how do they go home to their spouse, look them in the face, and keep lying. I'll never understand. 💔☹️😭

[@Lesobre]

He needs somebody to feel for him, most people wouldn’t. He blew up his life. He’s gonna have to sit in it. It’s a good thing. John can be so compassionate.

[@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose]

I highly disagree today with you, Dr Delony. Matthew is OBVIOUSLY NOT a good person. Quite the contrary: he is a misogynistic, narcissistic a holllle who literally cares more about his career then his wife & kids & even has the guts to blame his sidekick for his denial of his family. He got right delivered what he deserved because he still sees himself & his career more important than other people 👏 No, Dr Delony, please don't say that again. NEVER EVER AGAIN!

[@juliacoloradoLA]

Agree! He’s crying that he got caught and the fun is over. He isn’t sorry about what he has done, and doesn’t care about his wife. He cares about his money, status, house, job and having the side chick. He is narcissistic and has no remorse.

[@Trysaratop]

His behavior gave him the karma he deserved. May he learn from this and heal to be a better father if not partner and that will take time. The first part of healing from the wrongs you have done is to own up to the wrongs which many of us can’t not do.

[@abrandnewday3581]

Yes! I’m tired of the same old narrative. It’s because these people lack character and are selfish to the core. Everyone is collateral damage to this guy. Too much ego not enough sense.

[@Stanley_Baby]

Cheating women are worse than cheating mean tho. Absolutely vile.

[@jenica9705]

All cheating is vile. There’s not different standards based on gender…

[@leggs4113]

Oh no consequences for your actions imagine that 🙄

[@jerseynurse6878]

He effed about and found out. She deserves better.

[@itiswhatitis153]

Red flag.. He is sorry that he lost his job. Hence he brings that up first.. Has no regrets about destroying his marriage..

[@TL-ch1xd]

Everything he says during this talk are huge, huge, huge red flags.

[@thornyrose1235]

I mean, he's still with the affair partner so he clearly doesn't give two shits about his wife.

[@saundracohen4032]

Yep

[@hadenanderson563]

The "I'm a terrible person" routine is very common. Gross.

[@kathrynjavandel4357]

Yes, and it implies a helplessness to be better. Like me saying "I have big feet" (I am a woman who wears size 11 shoes) which is something I have no control over. What makes him a terrible person is his decisions to do terrible things to the people that live him/trust him, and that is 100% within his control.

[@snoozyq9576]

Yep. Just stop being terrible then. Simple

[@tanyawins]

He’s not a good man, he’s not a good dad. The daughter responded with empathy similar to her Mom-how can I help bc the Mother has trained this child. Not the Dad. But Dr John can’t say that. He has to be encouraging. 😢🙏🏾

[@DoritoHunter]

So when asked "what did you do?", he began talking about what happened instead of what he actually did... he had to be prompted. He's not ready to be a better man. I'm glad there were consequences but he's not sorry for what he did. He's sorry he got caught and lost everything.

[@caseyjude5472]

I don’t think he’s ready either. He’s not at the starting line. He’s not even at the track. He saw a photo of the track with a worker paining the lines on someone’s social media. I hope he steps up for the sake of his daughter. But even if he doesn’t she’ll be ok… if her rights aren’t stripped by other men in power.msny of whom have also cheated on their wife or wives repeatedly. If only he was wealthy enough to pay his AF to keep quiet about the company secrets.

[@CF-mi7xd]

Coworkers are not friends or lovers.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Unfortunately, people spend more time with their coworkers than anyone if they work a full full-time job or more. You hear about this all of the time.

[@pearlhappyhour]

I had to leave my job because of co-workers. The gossiping,back stabbing and lying was horrible😔

[@LilySaintSin]

Facts

[@Meron-df5ve]

The culture of a ln organization has so much power to set the righteous actions of it's workers. But when they ignore toxic behaviors of their companie's workers, the good workers suffer and leave. The leadrrship has so much responsibility to set up healthy culture but they do merely anything about it.😢​@@pearlhappyhour

[@isay207]

I doubt his coworkers didn't know people aren't stupid

[@miafranco7821]

u reap what u sow

[@superdavessubiandmore823]

I was so frustrated when he said he'd give him a big hug,I would give him something but it wouldn't be a hug. How dare he come on here and say I made a mistake,a mistake is forgetting to take out something for dinner not having an affair, cheating on your wife and kids and getting fired from your job. You're a grown ass man and take some accountability for what you've done.

[@Amuslimpointofview]

Exactly, that poor wife should be calling in and he should give her a big hug...he basically stepped a knife in her back and destroyed a family and should get a hug???? Hell noooo

[@schy9614]

Exactly cheating isn't a "mistake" it's your conscious choice.

[@ZoeHoffman-qk1cm]

i NEVER feel bad for these types of people… it’s not exactly a secret that choosing to cheat on your spouse and essentially destroy your marriage will do major damage to your life. he knew the consequences but went and ruined his life for a fleeting moment of fun

[@TL-ch1xd]

Worse is that he has ruined his daughter in ways he doesn’t even seem to care about. He cares more about the size of his house and pretends it is the daughter that cares about such shallow things. Disgusting.

[@lilraider22]

He's deflecting the real issue. The finances aren't the issue. His behavior is the issue. His wife has no obligation to be there for him while he has a pity party. She doesn’t have to lend her shoulder for him to cry on. He needs to take real responsibility for his actions.

[@bananagalazy4198]

I appreciate John still having so much kindness and Empathy for people like this, broken people. What this guy did was terrible but being a good person and Christian is about loving, John helps so much in showing me how to become better or how to move past the “hurt” to get to the “healing”. Thank you so much John💗💗

[@AMcNuttMom]

I think it's self-pity that's fueling his want to change, not his guilt or yearning for moral clarity.

[@TL-ch1xd]

He might not even want to change , he seems to be in complete victim mode and just looking for someone to pamper and save him.

[@AMcNuttMom]

@TL-ch1xd Oh, definitely. It even seems like he would feel cleared of all sin just because he called in to ask for help.

[@Rclsllh]

He wasn’t remorseful during the two years affair. He is remorseful because his life fell apart. The result of the action not the action itself. He would still keep the affair if his life didn’t fall apart. How did I know? Because he didn’t regret the first kiss but full blown affair for two damn years. Save me the “but he’s remorseful”, he is remorseful for what he lost not what he did.

[@laadeedah]

Well deserved 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@crystalglopez91623]

All I could think of when those times he must have been relaxing by his pool or with all his fancy toys he bought with his money and laughing at his wife’s face knowing dam well he would be going off with his side piece of many years . To enjoy more time away from the old “ball and chain” , and now look at him 🤣

[@chelsea7229]

16:00 had some sympathy until he started talking about STILL WANTING THE WOMAN HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH. What a jerk.

[@gretchanderson2891]

?? NO SYMPATHY FOR LIARS

[@argiehercules1374]

If she was the love of his life, he could have been honest to everybody and start a new life with her. Personally, I could understand that. But he is a piece of sh@t

[@SomeBody-ce3gq]

😂😂 He's ridiculous!!!

[@Yaya-cl3tu]

The fake stuttering got on my nerves to the point that I bailed at the 9-minute mark. He doesn't have a stuttering problem; he uses it as part of his manipulation tactic/routine.

[@lh524fire3]

He sounds like a drinker too

[@kbkb117]

The empathy some of us are lacking (myself included!) is valid, but I think its important to recognize that's the difference between a mental health professional and the general public. John is demonstrating how to help the person in front of him move forward.

[@husky8204]

Well yeah. If I have a reputation in the community and/or get paid for this type of stuff, of course I’m telling them about their potential and how great they are. Outside of that professional environment it’s all shame! Feel the pain, and woller in it because that is what they had coming.

[@mrv2308]

Naw, he’s too soft.

[@snoozyq9576]

​@@mrv2308 he has to be. Otherwise people wouldn't call in like this would they.

[@ember13dp]

Imagine putting your wife and daughter through hell, and then the first words out of your mouth are, “I lost my job where I made a lot of money 😢”

[@argiehercules1374]

He mentioned that his wife made good money, too. What does it have to do with the mess he caused?

[@bnb0510]

Affairs are so commonplace today it’s wild! Soooo many unsuspecting spouses out there. I witness it more than I’d like.

[@mrv2308]

You should say something to the other spouse. I would say any someone to tell me if it’s happening to me.

[@jonnylumberjack6223]

It's always been commonplace.

[@bnb0510]

@@jonnylumberjack6223 hell no! Social media has made it easier to do and get away with.

[@juliawigger9796]

He won't learn. He has no morals

[@Financialstress]

I enjoyed this. Cheaters get what they get.

[@elizabethbetsy1]

me too!

[@kateruterbories2692]

Some people aren't happy until they toroedo everyone and everything.

[@Nickbronline]

Good, you deserve it Matthew. Learn from this and grow into a better man. The community is here for you.

[@killerdeviant]

lol I hope he learns and does better, but nobody in these comments is here for him! 😂😂

[@Nickbronline]

@@killerdeviantSpeak for yourself

[@bbl2019]

He doesn’t feel bad for what he did. He’s only feeling the consequences and the self pity now that he is dealing with the consequences

[@fafa_1004]

I honestly don’t get it when someone said , you’re bad husband/wife but you’re good parents. IMO you CAN NOT be a bad spouse BUT a good parents. The two always go hand in hand. Children see,hear and learn from your behaviour, even when you think they don’t pay attention. And they know way more than what it seems on surface.

[@KristinA-xv4yk]

Agreed. A good parent models good character, as an individual and in a relationship. Cheating precludes one from modeling that. I’d also add that I consider cheating on a spouse to also be cheating on your kids. Think about all the time and resources he robbed his kid of while he was taking the mistress out to dinner, paying her bills, whatever incentive was in it for her. Bc there was absolutely an incentive; no one is uncontrollably enticed by some avg married dad w/o getting something in return. If not spent on his wife, the time and money could’ve been spent on his daughter. I’ve never been personally impacted by an affair, but I can see through it in those terms. Idk why ppl are so reluctant. Maybe bc they’re cheaters who don’t want to face the scary feelings of knowingly robbing their children.

[@RJRFAM]

There is a price to pay for having an affair. That’s the truth.

[@Erica-wz8yv]

A BIG price.

[@Thedarkestcowboy]

This just motivated me to be a better person.

[@cg4646]

@12:30 is very powerful.. this is one of the most relivent messaging of all your video i have seen so far! Thank you

[@kathycannon4805]

You didn’t ‘make a mistake,’ you did something bad. Don’t leave her afraid of making mistakes. Leave her thinking about her choices.

[@thescramble4309]

Think about the type of person that’s willing to cheat with someone who’s married AND think it’s ok . What kind of person does this?! Imagine being married and thinking cheating is romantic.

[@KatAdVictoriam]

@thescramble4309 There are far more people out there like this than most people realize and it's very disturbing. Most people in these situations are sociopathic and selfish beyond belief.

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@AfkAliaga]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi]

Yes, Steve_porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@fakiriayoub8087]

I wish those were more accessible here. Microdosing was the next thing I planned for my husband. He's 59 & facing many mental health issues, probably CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma for 8 days. Sadly, I had to get a TPO because he's 6'6, over 300 pounds, and displaying violent behavior, always talking about hurting others. He's really aggressive. If anyone out there knows about BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?

[@AfkAliaga]

Is he on instagram?

[@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi]

Yes he is Steve_porassss

[@kimberlyturner820]

It's NEVER worth it.😢

[@Erica-wz8yv]

NEVER

[@bonniekelley1130]

Did your wife know that you were "separated?" My husband's coworker/side piece informed me while dining at my table that I had not had a marriage in years. Turns out, this piece of work who had been passing herself off as a family friend for years, was the reason I had not had a marriage in years. And on the occasion of my retirement, it was time for "the discard." The plan was to move her into my retirement home and move me on down the road.

[@Gotoworkkk]

If you didn’t have a marriage for years, why did you stay with him?

[@WeaponizeCelibacyToDestroyXYs]

Hope you kicked your husband's ass out! ❤

[@jenica9705]

The reason you don’t have a marriage was because your husband is a cheater and a liar.. you can’t only blame the woman. He made a vow and broke it. He’s the one you need to blame.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

​@@jenica9705Exactly. The mistress didn't make vows. The husband did.

[@cw5948]

Taking a loan out for a pool is wild.

[@kcourtney6826]

Jon took the words out of my mouth, sell the house. This is called the consequences of our actions. The ex wife is done,her being helpful tells me she has made peace with her marriage being over. He wants to hang on to the AP so it wasn’t all for nothing but karma is by no means done with either of them.

[@cristinap6394]

John is So right. When this guy said he needed that hug and started crying g I immediately agreed- I read and saw the headline and still wanted to give him a hug. People have absolutely no idea how much power is in repenting and being accountable. It’s the absolute most powerful thing on this planet! Because immediately after, comes love.

[@elvenafae]

He reminds me of my Father except he was cheated on. He also cares so much about his outward material things that shows he was “accomplished”. He took on a lot of debt to uphold that lifestyle. Years later he became homeless and I as his Daughter received calls from people he owed. It’s important to keep a relationship with your children. Although, I have zero idea how you can raise a little girl to a woman when you treated your wife like that.

[@sassymango9369]

It's obvious from the beginning the caller is in a lot of emotional pain. Thank you Dr John for being so kind ❤

[@matrixxxx6263]

Instant Karma 😂😂😂 Learning by pain. Sounds like a narcissist now crying just for himself, maximum self pity, disgusting.

[@aladdout9454]

what a beautiful symphony of a crying cheater

[@felistine]

Sir, you think no one knew about your affair at work. Others noticed. I hope things get better for you. We are all human and make mistakes. Take care of yourself.

[@Amuslimpointofview]

Cheating is never a mistake

[@itachi65ful]

Emotional intelligence is a must for people. People think emotions are dumb but what ive come to realize over the years is that no matter how smart you are or logical. If you don't understand your emotions it can lead you downhill. I understood that emotions are what creates bias in people. You can't out logic this because logic can be influenced by your emotions. Emotions influence thoughts and actions. It's just that most people don't view it in that way. You need both logical intelligence and emotional intelligence. You need to work at these. Some people are more logical some are more emotionally intelligent and some are a mix of the 2. Guys try to fit the mentality of trying to be purely logical. Which tends to lead them to have little to no real understanding of theirs and others emotions. They tend to default to dismissing emotions as irrational or something only women have. Though you can easily see their emotions on full display through their ego. Ego isn't logical it's emotional.

[@kristinej.4182]

Made a “mistake” at work? Give me a break! He has absolutely no remorse for cheating on his wife! He deserves any struggle he’s going through. Glad he lost his job!

[@blissfulluxurylife]

I only read the title and… GOOD!!! 😅 He’s only sorry he got caught!

[@sandyelliott3350]

He wants absolution for his scrrew-ups . No remorse for being unfaithful. NO sympathy at all.

[@joepfeiler5911]

Not wanting to sell the house for his daughter is an excuse. The impact of a move can be real small for her if she stays in the same school district. When we moved out daughter stayed in the same school district thru open enrollment.

[@sandyn3384]

Cry me a river. Just desserts.

[@pipermcpickles5283]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@tammyschilling5362]

OMG, do NOT ask your ex-wife to hold your hand and help you fix the mess you made. It's not right or fair. It will hang her up in your life and relationship emotionally when she needs to be moving forward.

[@Iamsam-jl5fn]

I bet he does because he is selfish.

[@baysideharpy8350]

The self pity oozes out of this call. Actions have consequences. Duh. “Texas male ego”, spot on John.