I Don’t Want Anyone to See How I Live (How Do I Change?)

  Рет қаралды 43,533

The Dr. John Delony Show

The Dr. John Delony Show

Күн бұрын

I Don’t Want Anyone to See How I Live (How Do I Change?)
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com) We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudslee...
- Hallow - www.hallow.com...
- Thorne (25% Off Orders) - www.thorne.com...
Resources:
• Building a Non-Anxious Life - bit.ly/3EL5ubR
• Anxiety Test - bit.ly/460QXUp
• Own Your Past, Change Your Future - bit.ly/47q7Skm
• Questions for Humans Conversation Cards - bit.ly/472lIKd
• John's Free Guided Meditation - bit.ly/3MAGpEV
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/)
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at www.betterhelp... and get on your way to being your best self.
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...

Пікірлер: 192
@lilly8803
@lilly8803 9 ай бұрын
Tracy - I went through a few years of living in a disastrous home. As soon as you’d walk in, you’d have to step through trash, dirty clothes, sentimental items - everything was blended together on the floor. This was also during a time I was very suicidal, had no hope and nothing to look forward to. I also reglected my hygiene and my hair was one giant dreadlock. One day I decided I was going to change and slowly but surely chipped away at the disaster, throwing away most everything. This also coincided with major improvements to my mental health. It was so liberating. Today I lead a (mostly) organized and clean life. You will overcome this!
@bettybutterbean5759
@bettybutterbean5759 6 ай бұрын
What a lovely positive comment. Thank you. x
@alwaysyouramanda
@alwaysyouramanda 2 ай бұрын
I grew up in a home like that and now I’m pretty sure I’ve got symptoms of learned helplessness. I remember the first time I decided not to get out of bed in the morning. I was just a kid- I layed there staring at the ceiling replaying the Disney movie Cinderella in my head. My mom would scream at us if we complained “nobody helps me!” And as a kid it feels really unfair.. she gets me to do whatever she asks- she never asked. I was constantly sick. There were bugs.. it’s was mostly trash but it’s true sentimental items.. were also treated like trash.
@cyn5962
@cyn5962 2 ай бұрын
My dad was a hoarder. When I was growing up, the house became messy and crowded. ​@alwaysyouramanda
@beesknees213
@beesknees213 9 ай бұрын
My mother said it best..."The more you have, the more you have to take care of..."
@Galaxy-ho2pk
@Galaxy-ho2pk 6 ай бұрын
I like this ❤
@alwaysyouramanda
@alwaysyouramanda 2 ай бұрын
I was lucky my sister would always destroy my things. I left at 16 and they’ve thrown everything out of their house. I’m terrified of having things. 😅 but it’s nice not to worry about sTuFf. Or them.. tbh
@Lucky_to_be_Here
@Lucky_to_be_Here 9 ай бұрын
I am recently retired and amazed and dismayed with my lack of motivation. I am tired. I have worked my butt off since i was 14 yrs old. I live alone. I recently found some motivation from a new friend who is 91 years old. She suggested that if it is important to me to live in my own home as long as i can as I get older - that keeping a clean house will be a signal to family and friends that I can live independently. And she suggested that it will take practice and experience to do that successfully. I should start now so that it takes less effort when I am in my 80's and 90's
@Shaara1
@Shaara1 8 ай бұрын
Same here. I live alone. I'm not responsible for anyone nor do I owe my free time to anyone. The result is that my precious time has been pouring out of my hand day after day. My excuse is that I deserve some peace and quiet afyer work and my only day off. But the feeling of uselessness at the same time is unbearable. A couple of weeks ago I had this thought that what if my relatives are goingvto take my laziness as a sign of mental health or label me as someone who is not stable enough to be trusted to live alone or something like that. That thought is terrifying.
@Lucky_to_be_Here
@Lucky_to_be_Here 8 ай бұрын
I have been setting a timer for 15 minutes per day and it is amazing how much i got done in a week. Do you have any suggestions?@@Shaara1
@buzzcutart8501
@buzzcutart8501 7 ай бұрын
@@Shaara1what if you just tidy up for 30 minutes each day off? Every little bit helps
@Shaara1
@Shaara1 7 ай бұрын
@@buzzcutart8501 Sounds good.
@jst6r
@jst6r 3 ай бұрын
Very good point
@youheartmel
@youheartmel 9 ай бұрын
I decluttered my closet during the pandemic. I sold 240+ items on eBay totaled at $17K. I couldn’t believe how much nice clothing, bags and collectibles I bought over the years. My shopping habits and style have changed dramatically. If I like something, I’ll take a ss on my phone and think it over for a few days. The more I own, the less time I feel I have for myself. Clutter causes me anxiety. I took a picture of my bedroom before and I feel so proud of how far I have come. When I walk into my home I feel at peace; it’s my curated space.
@genxx2724
@genxx2724 9 ай бұрын
Use the Original Fly Lady system. You just spend a short time every day, and over time your home will be clean and organized. She has a KZbin channel.
@lizclark643
@lizclark643 9 ай бұрын
Highly recommend the book “How to Keep House While Drowning” by KC Davis. Life changing book
@melissab3217
@melissab3217 9 ай бұрын
To me, this sounds like executive dysfunction with ADHD. I definitely have this, and I feel so stressed about it but can't seem to keep the house clean ever.
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 9 ай бұрын
It's a thankless job, takes a lot of time, minutes for someone to tear apart what took hours to complete.
@iw5207
@iw5207 9 ай бұрын
As a working mom I freaking needed this . Thank you Tracy . I work and my husband works as well and sometimes our house goes by the wayside . I’ve also had the shame /guilt/ bad thoughts about our home and my stuff was definitely talking to me . I didn’t see cleaning my home as prioritizing myself . Thanks DR John !
@Sheryl777
@Sheryl777 9 ай бұрын
Maybe she should hire someone to help her clean. That might be the answer for her if she doesn't want to have to do it after she gets off working all day. I can't say I blame her for feeling that way, so that might be the answer if she can afford to hire someone to help her.
@alyross2850
@alyross2850 9 ай бұрын
Oh no, working from home will NOT inspire you to clean if you aren’t already. It only makes it easier to say “later”. I feel for her. She can visit my messy house anytime.
@lvnobro4632
@lvnobro4632 9 ай бұрын
Dana K White is another great resource for decluttering. She makes it so doable when you're in a state of overwhelm. She actually starts with "If you don't know what to do, wash the dishes". Been super helpful for me. Best of luck, Tracy! You can do it!
@jessekafoxx
@jessekafoxx 9 ай бұрын
Donna K White definitely gave me 34 yrs of life lessons in 125 pgs of a book.
@lianna1869
@lianna1869 9 ай бұрын
Made the same comment before I saw yours, Dana k White 10000%
@user-tq8jo7oh2n
@user-tq8jo7oh2n 9 ай бұрын
Dana K White is awesome and I love her no mess decluttering system.
@rebeccaoprea9917
@rebeccaoprea9917 9 ай бұрын
Many people have a scarcity or poverty mindset, they may need it and can’t get it back, a what if mindset. It’s a trap.
@nancyhartley3520
@nancyhartley3520 9 ай бұрын
I have some suggestions to help this nice woman too. 1) Give yourself 15 minutes 2 times a day to attack one of your chores. Set a timer to complete the task. Consider each chore a break for yourself. 2)Reward yourself with a bouquet every week from the grocery store to put in your clean kitchen. Once you reward yourself for your efforts, it gets better. ❤. Btw, I purge my drawers, closets and desk, on-going. Having some space in each of them helps me a lot! AND Just remember. You are normal.. ❤❤❤😊
@9liveslisa
@9liveslisa 9 ай бұрын
Tracy, you were describing my life! You are not alone. I hate frigging housework. You clean and you turn around it is magically dirty again. It never ends! lol! I have always hated housework, but I know it has to get done. When I run errands, everything I bring into the house gets dumped on my dining room table. I put stuff down and I leave it there. I'm terrible! lol! I'm retired and I live alone. I also lived with alcoholics as a child and our home was picture perfect. My stepmother had Revere cooking pans and my sister and I had to keep those frigging copper bottomed pans shiny and bright. We hated those pans. Couple of things that help me around the house. 1) I spend a minimum of an hour or two a day to take care of what is necessary. 2) I always have a donation box set up to throw stuff into for GoodWill. I donate all year long. If I don't need it or use it, in the box it goes. 3) When I get my mail, stuff I have to deal with goes on my desk. Junk mail goes straight into my recycling can in the garage, And stuff that needs to be shredded goes in the shredder. Everything else can wait. It's a gift I give myself. I performed for everyone during my 42 year working career. I don't have to do that anymore. I'd rather live in a happy somewhat cluttered house than a picture perfect house. I live here! And if it's a little cluttered at times, it's ok!
@reginasemenenko148
@reginasemenenko148 9 ай бұрын
That's it.
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 9 ай бұрын
She gets from it isolation - an excuse not to have anyone over that she'd feel obligated to do things for. It's her space to wind down and not have to care about how it looks to anyone else. The 1 space she doezn't have to be so disciplined or work so hard for... But she does she works harder to get around it than she would to pick it up regularly. Choose your hard.
@Funkbrenna
@Funkbrenna 9 ай бұрын
I struggled with something similar for a long time. A Matt’s that helped me so much is “don’t put it down, put it away” having a home for everything was life changing
@NatalieF-un5vb
@NatalieF-un5vb 9 ай бұрын
I get so over overwhelmed too. Still getting to the root of the problem. I tried making lists and it still feels overwhelming because I still see EVERYTHING that needs to get done. Something that is helping is still making a list, but cutting everything out with scissors, putting the chores in a jar, even things that will take 20 seconds, and blindly pull one out and give myself 15 minutes max to do it. So much better. I will be going upstairs, outside, bathroom, and my brain just likes it better.
@anne-mariemulders6596
@anne-mariemulders6596 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for this great tip, I'm going to do that too.
@mbwilson8592
@mbwilson8592 9 ай бұрын
Really good tip. It helps me to set a timer as well. My brain thinks an overwhelming task requires a really long time so I put it off. The timer often ends up proving to myself that it required much less time.
@denisastetler7487
@denisastetler7487 9 ай бұрын
Time to clean my house. “Don’t make it a process. Make it fun!”
@rby82589
@rby82589 9 ай бұрын
Dawn of The Minimal Mom helped me get my home to a place where I can easily tidy the whole house within probably 15 minutes. Her content is GOLDEN. I recommend her to others when they comment on needing help decluttering or something along those lines. I was a new mom and felt so overwhelmed with a messy house, but her videos (and maintenance decluttering ) have helped me keep a tidier, happier home for my family. 💓
@shamailaahmad211
@shamailaahmad211 9 ай бұрын
Sending so much love to Tracey ❤❤ May the clutter soon clear ❤❤❤ bit by bit step by step, glory to glory, day by day ❤❤ day by day ❤❤
@courtneyriley185
@courtneyriley185 9 ай бұрын
So greatful for John. Ive been listening for a week now and its been so helpful! My house is getting cleaner and im "REMEMBER TO REMEMBER!"
@gertstronkhorst2343
@gertstronkhorst2343 7 ай бұрын
'grateful'. You can't even spell simple words now? Are you American?
@iabbervocium
@iabbervocium 9 ай бұрын
I am so glad you mentioned Dawn's channel! She's wonderful and many of her videos helped me declutter. I love my home now.
@javaskull88
@javaskull88 9 ай бұрын
I used to keep a neat home, but along came injuries and surgeries and physical limitations. It hurts now to bend over and pick things up, and I tire too easily and the stairs are exhausting. My house is a cluttered mess and I hate that. I sometimes wish I could throw everything away and live in an empty apartment.
@user-tq8jo7oh2n
@user-tq8jo7oh2n 9 ай бұрын
I hope you see this. Google "Flylady" and check out her system. I am a chronic pain sufferer due to a car accident in 2018. Her system breaks down chores into 15 minute manageable daily tasks with a 1 hr weekly quick clean. You start first with decluttering. 15 minutes/day. She breaks the house into zones - bascially 1 zone/week. Just declutter in that zone. Once that zone is decluttered, you can work on the 15 minute " daily missions". As she says, you can't clean clutter. She also focuses on self care. The way her system works, once the house is in shape, it never gets truly dirty again by just doing this 15 minute tasks. She was life changing for me.
@VivPhotography
@VivPhotography 9 ай бұрын
Didn't know I needed this, but this was super helpful! And this is totally me! Very easy changes to implement. Thanks, Dr. John!
@texasgoddess323
@texasgoddess323 9 ай бұрын
I have chronic fatigue syndrome, live by myself, and have given away most of my unwanted stuff over the years. The less I have, the less I have to clean and care for! So this works for my chronic illness. Hope this helps someone.❤
@rosewest5168
@rosewest5168 9 ай бұрын
I can relate to this ...too much stuff causing anxiety and depression. Trying to chip away, have chronic pain which flares up and frustrates me. Don't have people over. It's such a hard thing and hard to let things go
@user-tq8jo7oh2n
@user-tq8jo7oh2n 9 ай бұрын
I don't know if you will see this, but Google "Flylady" and check out her website. I am a chronic pain sufferer too and her system has been a Godsend.
@MN-br5nb
@MN-br5nb 8 ай бұрын
Start with a corner of a room. I used to want to get everything done. But this takes time. Start with a corner and it helps me. As for daily stuff…I just focus on dishes and keeping fridge clean. We need to be energetic and invested in our own lives - housework is always there don’t let it burden you. ❤ all the best. And find someone to come clean your bathrooms six times a year if you can afford it bc these things help. I find no joy in my home bc I barely have furniture. But I have shade and warmth. Work in progress. My flat is just crap nothing feels nice. But I try to MAKE it a home. I keep it clean but organization takes time.
@faithann4748
@faithann4748 9 ай бұрын
Wow! This really hit home for me. I have piles I need to go through but I don't take care of it on my day off for the same reason. After listening to this, I just went through a pile and threw things away. I really needed to hear this. Thank you!
@Girasoles
@Girasoles 9 ай бұрын
One thing that has helped me to declutter/organize is listening to others decluttering on KZbin. During this time ill put on the minimalists, clutterbug, the minimal mom etc. I keep a running playlist of their most recent videos. Ill put it on in the backround and itll motivate me to clean. HTH!!
@jimv77
@jimv77 9 ай бұрын
We have very rich medical friends worth $20 million and we heard they have a very big house in the Dallas area. Last year we finally were able to stop by and visit their home. The inside of their house looked like a big family who did too many Costco runs. Stuff and boxes on the dining room table. Stuff stacked against the wall in the dining room and living room. The kitchen breakfast counter had stuff and no room to eat. OMG, such a huge disappointment that a beautiful house was overtaken with stuff that made it look cluttered . Not trash, but just way too much stuff.
@thecramptons
@thecramptons 9 ай бұрын
YIKES!
@javaskull88
@javaskull88 9 ай бұрын
Costco membership + $20 mil? That’s a lot of paper towels.
@lifeaccordingtotheo9643
@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 9 ай бұрын
Working too hard to enjoy it maybe
@hommy1614
@hommy1614 9 ай бұрын
I so liked this conversation! It was nice to hear a Dr. J. caller who is simply wanting to strive, improve, and be more intentional. "What do you want your home to feel like?" is a golden question. :) She sounds so positive, she is going to kick this.
@lisalister8002
@lisalister8002 9 ай бұрын
I'm totally amazed by the speed Dr. J can zero in.. His really has an amazing skill!
@TheTopherocks
@TheTopherocks 9 ай бұрын
I struggle with clutter too. This was good advice!
@lyndaslocs
@lyndaslocs 9 ай бұрын
I highly recommend Dawn the Minimal Mom, even if you don't plan to become a minimalist.
@darlayeates510
@darlayeates510 9 ай бұрын
I love being in my home. It's a refuge from all the clutter outsude. It's not perfect, but it always feels wonderful to walk into.
@Lil-Whiskies
@Lil-Whiskies 9 ай бұрын
Same here, I love having a clean, functional home to go to at the end of the day. It makes me feel safe and relaxed.
@Celticnik
@Celticnik 8 ай бұрын
💯
@brittanyferera5177
@brittanyferera5177 9 ай бұрын
Wow! This was very helpful! Thank you! I'm struggling with clutter piles too!
@christyliberge4189
@christyliberge4189 9 ай бұрын
This is so good Tracy. I'm 58, tired and I let things go also. Mail, car, dusting exc. But what I do is I tell myself, I'm going to give myself 3 hours on my day off to, clean out my car, shred useless piled up mail, clear out the dishwasher, put away the laundry from two days ago. And after 3 hours I rest..... we are human with limitations. We need rest from all we do throughout the week but like John says we need to have a peaceful loving space for us to relax. After my 3 hours of Giving To My Life I am able to Give To Myself with LOVE...
@MsMak03
@MsMak03 9 ай бұрын
So good! I didn’t expect that to be personally helpful. Thank you Tracy, thank you Delony ❤
@SofiUk0319
@SofiUk0319 9 ай бұрын
There needs to be a club formed for all the ppl like this, I'm like this.. my house isn't cluttered, but anyone inside would be shocked nonetheless, I don't have kids, so I'm not subjecting anyone else to it. It's not that it's an extreme mess, it's that there are numerous holes in the walls... I don't use all the rooms in my house, so a lot of them are just dusty with storage inside. I also have a thing about writing and drawing on my walls, so there's that too. Idk, I have contemplated that because there is a pattern to my behavior, I wonder if I'm on the autism spectrum at times.. but, we need a club for us kinds of ppl, im loving and sweet, but my house is abnormal for sure
@KarriSimone
@KarriSimone 9 ай бұрын
ADHD❤❤❤ MY GIRL
@danierth8
@danierth8 9 ай бұрын
"Don't forget to Remember". Also a good reminder for someone, who wants to kick an alcohol or drug addiction, upon waking up on those (occasional) sober mornings. Don't forget to remember how GOOD a clear, sober mind feels.💖
@MagnifyYaweh
@MagnifyYaweh 9 ай бұрын
Omg your so right, currently struggling with an addiction, and think this will help
@danierth8
@danierth8 9 ай бұрын
​@@MagnifyYaweh 🫂🙏❤️
@sosanosa08
@sosanosa08 9 ай бұрын
@@MagnifyYawehSame. It feels good to read someone else relates to me.
@CynthiaSteele-o2g
@CynthiaSteele-o2g 9 ай бұрын
I will use that!!!❤
@stephaniebrown9811
@stephaniebrown9811 6 ай бұрын
Wow this hit home with me! I give 110% to my job/career and my house is trashed all the time. It’s super embarrassing and I never want to have people over cuz I don’t want them to see it. I never have the energy or motivation to clean my house but it gets so bad that I don’t even want to be there.
@catt4105
@catt4105 9 ай бұрын
I'm a major slob. I just cannot make myself clean my apartment and keep it clean. I never have people over.
@homebody61
@homebody61 9 ай бұрын
Me too
@tashabothwell591
@tashabothwell591 5 ай бұрын
Same. And I don't know what to do about it because it always ends up messy again no matter how good my intentions are. My home is probably worse than anyone when it's at its worst.
@monicabarker8888
@monicabarker8888 4 ай бұрын
Watch Dawn the minimalist or Cass the clutterbug
@animatedaries6806
@animatedaries6806 9 ай бұрын
Keeps her isolated
@TW-ps2cr
@TW-ps2cr 9 ай бұрын
Outstanding yet again, Dr John. Thank you.
@samrusoff
@samrusoff 9 ай бұрын
Many routine, ongoing, maintenance type activities go by the wayside when a person's self worth drops off. Valuing regular hygiene, valuing clean clothes, valuing a nice home environment, they all rely on seeing yourself as worth the work. "Oh what's the point doing that upkeep work when I'll just have to do it again in a few days?"
@donnanorris4733
@donnanorris4733 9 ай бұрын
Tracy sounds just like me!
@lianna1869
@lianna1869 9 ай бұрын
Dana K White @ a slob comes clean!! Please look her up for anyone struggling with clutter, hoarding, dealing with your home, anything in between
@lianna1869
@lianna1869 9 ай бұрын
BTW, Dawn and Dana K White are partners in a supervised program. Dawn is great for family minimalism and keeping your house clear, BUT Dana is the one to start with if you are truly starting and are struggling and suffering
@texasgina
@texasgina 9 ай бұрын
I have a reusable grocery bag in my room that all of the credit card offers and credit on furniture offers go into to shred because I don't want someone stealing my identity and ordering some thing. And that helps with the majority of my pile of mail
@alluringbliss4165
@alluringbliss4165 9 ай бұрын
*Don’t forget to remember* confuses me 😂
@bowietrio
@bowietrio 9 ай бұрын
You can do it Tracy! 👏And so can the rest of us 💪 I am deeply appreciative of Dr. John, (Dave) Ramsey Solutions and The Minimal Mom (Dawn Madsen) while I’ve been fighting through the toughest year of my life so far. Their teaching, insight and encouragement has been a healing balm to my soul and life as I shift my perspective and habits to become more of the person I want to be and be there 100% for my family.
@SoulfulVeg
@SoulfulVeg 9 ай бұрын
THANKS Dr John. I too am more of a worker than cleaner. I use to have a housekeeper before I moved to a new city. I have been giving my employer, family, civic organizations, and friends my 1st fruits. I'm not lazy, but I'm just one person. I'm going to put myself on my priority list and get rid of some stuff.
@ydoucare55
@ydoucare55 9 ай бұрын
I got that way after my best friend passed away. I don't know what switch flipped in my brain, but I just don't want to deal with it all the little things.
@stacystewart7354
@stacystewart7354 3 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤
@ebullock1000
@ebullock1000 9 ай бұрын
We call it anti-rats nest mentality in our home. This is such a great call!
@patriciaflores6665
@patriciaflores6665 9 ай бұрын
She needs to Listen to Dana K. White. She also works with the Minimal Mom but focuses on decluttering. Once you get down to your clutter threshold then keeping up a home doesn't feel like so much work. Keeping a kept home feels like self care.
@user-tq8jo7oh2n
@user-tq8jo7oh2n 9 ай бұрын
YES!!! And then add Cassandra Arssen's Clutterbug channel. Cas identifies 4 different organizational styles. Once Tracy's home is decluttered, she can take Cass' quiz to determine her style and follow her recommendations for organization for her style.
@sandyonashoestring
@sandyonashoestring 9 ай бұрын
I needed to hear this today. Thank-you 🙏
@paulamachado3879
@paulamachado3879 Ай бұрын
I highly recommend Diana K. White to help you conquer your home, she's awesome!
@jamieleigh807
@jamieleigh807 8 ай бұрын
Try the fly lady daily routines. She also has systems where you declutter 15 mins a day. I always want to suggest that you are feeling shame because you had this pressure in your household asap kid when you shouldn’t have had that pressure at all. Sending hugs❤❤❤
@dianedo8314
@dianedo8314 9 ай бұрын
This is my world…❤❤❤ one step away from being on the hoarding show!
@fluffyspunsugar
@fluffyspunsugar 9 ай бұрын
Excellent episode.
@sarahw.mcelyea5655
@sarahw.mcelyea5655 9 ай бұрын
I am just like this, and my brother is, too.
@IFBBProYeo
@IFBBProYeo 3 ай бұрын
3:18 What it gets her is a break! She needs time to rest! So maybe what would help is actually blocking off time to do this around a work day, That way her off days still remain her off days because it sounds like she really has to protect her time to decompress :) But since this is making her feel Not just guilty but also so very far behind that it's hard to even start, It's become a bigger issue and she might need a little help getting started. That's all!
@nbabombshell
@nbabombshell 9 ай бұрын
I need to put myself first and stop being so mean to myself . I needed this
@jst6r
@jst6r 3 ай бұрын
Wow I have this problem and never realized it could be related to growing up in an alcoholic household
@ashleycanas2080
@ashleycanas2080 9 ай бұрын
One minute in:..I think she has adhd. Object permanence. In sight in mind
@olivialam9044
@olivialam9044 9 ай бұрын
Loll "Netflix is like, I gotchu!!" Ain't that the truth...
@SusanMarie3
@SusanMarie3 9 ай бұрын
I love to purge - closets, drawers, basement, garage, etc - just a constant battle with my husband who doesn’t get it
@Lil-Whiskies
@Lil-Whiskies 9 ай бұрын
I had a two month hiatus from my job and did a massive overhaul of my home. New carpet and paint meant it was also time to go through everything I own and get rid of what I didn't need, or didn't want anymore. I felt great when it was done, I always liked my home, but now it's like my personal oasis.
@kathigratton2286
@kathigratton2286 9 ай бұрын
Every flat surface!! All Me
@d.zyned2thrive584
@d.zyned2thrive584 9 ай бұрын
Dawn is awesome, but Dana K White at A Slob Comes Clean might be a better fit for this particular gal.
@user-tq8jo7oh2n
@user-tq8jo7oh2n 9 ай бұрын
Agreed! Dana's no mess declutter system is great.
@RedneckWarlock
@RedneckWarlock 4 ай бұрын
My god. The most relatable episode so far.
@freespiritwithnature4384
@freespiritwithnature4384 9 ай бұрын
I'm so proud of you. It's not easy . I've lost 3 siblings, so i understand.
@Plooky1969
@Plooky1969 9 ай бұрын
My mom grew up in a super neat, super dysfunctional home. She became Tracy, causing me to have n anxiety over clutter. We live in our home, but I keep clutter to a minimum due to the family dynamics.
@tinabennett8524
@tinabennett8524 9 ай бұрын
Dana K White helped me😊😉 I can relate to her way!
@cesardejeronimo8184
@cesardejeronimo8184 9 ай бұрын
What Tracy needs to do is face it head on and just deal with it. She's obviously calling because it is effecting her mental health. I have had these issues also, albeit not quite drastic. I usually tell myself "I will feel so much better if I just deal with it". And this is usually the result. I tend to reflect on myself and also ask "Why am I keeping this?" "Do I really need this?" "When is the last time I used it?" "Am I really going to keep this because it cost me a few dollars?". It gets emotionally draining for me since I tend to argue with myself so much. But yeah, she needs to just get a garbage bag and throw stuff way. Don't overthink it.
@rickardotorres
@rickardotorres 9 ай бұрын
“Who gets your first fruits”? 🤯 DON’t forget to remember… you are beautiful, human, God’s love, worthy, loved, alive, important, unique l, the next best thing to No one!! 🙏🏽
@DianeHanna-t6p
@DianeHanna-t6p 8 ай бұрын
When my marriage ended I let our bedroom go to pot. It's was a dumping ground. Clothes everywhere. I slept on the sofa. One day my daughter got a bit mad and said to me you work hard you look after granny you make the house nice for everyone else but you won't make a nice area for you to sleep and relax. She was worried and it came from a loving caring child. So I painted it cleaned it and cleared it out. I know it was a reaction to the trauma of my marriage ending and what the bed and room symbolised but fixing this was part of moving on.
@RussellD11
@RussellD11 5 ай бұрын
She is a hoarder trust me...
@AN-jw2oe
@AN-jw2oe 9 ай бұрын
This is ME, but I have 5 young kids! Thank you for calling in!! ❤
@monicabarker8888
@monicabarker8888 4 ай бұрын
Cass clutterbug
@sprayarm
@sprayarm 9 ай бұрын
Sounds like me!
@StinaPsych
@StinaPsych 9 ай бұрын
How is he so insightful??
@mariee.5912
@mariee.5912 9 ай бұрын
Experience + 2 PhDs
@mvubu6823
@mvubu6823 6 ай бұрын
START IN ONE AREA and THROW CRAP AWAY.... problem is you end up moving the problem to the next room!
@nbabombshell
@nbabombshell 9 ай бұрын
Things that help me: 1. Minimal approach works for me . Because I need system and I need it to be able to keep up. When you have a lot of stuff it's harder . We do not need to waste energy there . 2. I have systems - everything has a place 3. Mail next to the trash . Keep important . Or take a picture and have a folder . 4. Clean as I go . When I am cooking . 5. Having a trash bag . Only one in the car and making sure I fill it and dump it . If i know I am going to get down at a store being the bag with me to dump.
@Handsoflight7766
@Handsoflight7766 3 ай бұрын
Get rid of 1 bag/basket a day and watch the magic happen. Start putting stuff away as you use it. Get rid of paper clutter… you don’t need old bills, old contracts that are no longer relevant, bank statements. Shred them!!! Do 10 minutes of work a day. Do one load of laundry every day and put it away. Treat paperby dealing with it once then either put it away or throw it away. Clean toilet and sinks every second day. But seriously start getting rid of stuff you don’t use or need… just that got rid of 1/3 of the stuff in my home ( old appliances, utensils, unused stuff). Clothes and n shoes boots One closet at a time. I turned all my hangers backwards and could turn them forward when worn or washed. Then you see what you use. I grew up with alcohol also and we atook care of the alcoholic and got told to shut up all day. You need to get out of that mode and ask yourself if procrastination is helping or harming you. Make daily weekly and monthly tasks. Winter’s won’t be like summer as tasks change. If you skip one week for one thing you catch up on another day. Take Saturday and Sunday off except for meals and dishes and picking up after yourself. It’s maintenance but it gets easier once you get rid of stuff!!!
@rebeccaoprea9917
@rebeccaoprea9917 9 ай бұрын
I’m glad she admitted what was going on. It’s only a going to get worse if she doesn’t get help.
@nbabombshell
@nbabombshell 9 ай бұрын
I grew up with an alcoholic dad . I struggle with this . I fight it and it's not natural . It's such an effort . That's how I manage to keep it clean remembering how it feels
@9liveslisa
@9liveslisa Ай бұрын
I totally get this woman. I'm retired now and I like a clean house, but I hate cleaning. Always have. You clean and in a day or two it has to be done all over again. It is drudgery. I do the bare minimum. But I am sick of the mess. The best method I've come up with is to tell myself I have to spend 2 hours a day on decluttering and cleaning. The problem is I don't do it. When I was working and going full speed ahead, my house was cleaner. So I think part of it is momentum or lack of it. Motivation or lack of it. I need to kick myself in the ass. That's it. Just do it.
@MariaInIowa
@MariaInIowa 9 ай бұрын
I was with you till you mentioned GETTING RID OF BOOKS. 😅
@Zinnie988
@Zinnie988 7 ай бұрын
The Second thing of bring a friend to help you one room one wall at a time won't happen because the 'friend' will want to show a performance of accomplishment. If they have to come back, they won't show again. If anything they will get demanding that why can't we do it all NOW, not wasting time! Blah blah... And the end of that attempt of the cleaning process.
@janetr5929
@janetr5929 8 ай бұрын
She might consider hiring someone to do the declutter and organization. When that’s complete, develop new habits. Mail is sorted and junk thrown out before it comes in the house. Bed gets made every morning no matter what. Dishes get done every meal. Set a timer for 15 minutes and pick a drawer to declutter. Before bed pick up and put away everything. Hire a housekeeper if you can afford to and have them come in once or twice a month for deep clean.
@karengreene1999
@karengreene1999 Ай бұрын
This kind of got off in the direction of decluttering the home but I think her struggle was not picking up after herself. I have that issue too. I can pick up a room perfectly and I always say I’ll never let it get messy like that again and within a week or sometimes a few days - it is trashed again. Very frustrating but I keep trying. Seems to help for a while if I try to remember to take something to put away when I leave a room - when I remember to do that.
@GodSaveTheClothes
@GodSaveTheClothes 9 ай бұрын
This was such a good episode and I relate to Tracy with the chaotic home life and negative self talk! “Remember to remember!” I’m gonna make a sign as well!
@birsancristina9278
@birsancristina9278 7 ай бұрын
I too have this problem and i am trying to get it under control. I am throwing out or giving things i don't need away but i'm bringing other stuff in. It's just crazy.
@jacquelineglitter4328
@jacquelineglitter4328 7 ай бұрын
Do one room at a time. That's how I remodeled. I also redecorated the rooms. Maybe buy new rugs or towels and it'll give you a reason to straighten up a room. Nothing expensive.
@brendap9425
@brendap9425 6 ай бұрын
Second caller has ADHD. She has no clue just like I didn't have a clue.
@mwhe3111
@mwhe3111 9 ай бұрын
This is beyond insightful. BEYOND. ❤️
@lindasacks8572
@lindasacks8572 6 ай бұрын
I think you have just changed my life forever!
@ruthirwin8222
@ruthirwin8222 9 ай бұрын
I love this huy he hel0s so mamy people and i wish Tracey well and i hope she loves her home after all this
@audreydunn9788
@audreydunn9788 9 ай бұрын
I really resonate with this! ❤ grateful for the conversation ❤
@tiphainer7143
@tiphainer7143 9 ай бұрын
This is the sweetest conversation. ❤️❤️
@S42069
@S42069 6 ай бұрын
Sometimes you just need to hire a house cleaner to get you back to square one.
My Husband Isn’t the Man I Married (How Do I Love Him?)
20:51
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 69 М.
Husband Confessed to Cheating Early in Our Marriage
19:11
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 98 М.
💩Поу и Поулина ☠️МОЧАТ 😖Хмурых Тварей?!
00:34
Ной Анимация
Рет қаралды 2 МЛН
Стойкость Фёдора поразила всех!
00:58
МИНУС БАЛЛ
Рет қаралды 4,2 МЛН
The Mind Blowing Link Between Stuff & Anxiety (with Dr. John Delony)
17:35
I Constantly Dread Work (How Do I Change?)
18:55
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 69 М.
What Is Emotional Spending? | Kati Morton
16:47
Kati Morton
Рет қаралды 68 М.
I Blocked My Wife’s Access to Our Bank Account
18:22
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 48 М.
What Do You Actually Want? | With Dr. John Delony
15:07
Jordan B Peterson Clips
Рет қаралды 83 М.
What To Do When You Can’t Change Other People
1:02:29
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 44 М.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
8:45
Kati Morton
Рет қаралды 185 М.
I’ve Never Felt Sexual Desire for My Husband
20:45
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 365 М.
I Cheated on My Wife 8 Times (How Do I Tell Her?)
20:15
The Dr. John Delony Show
Рет қаралды 449 М.
How to Be Less Emotionally Reactive: Black and White Thinking
11:34
Therapy in a Nutshell
Рет қаралды 1,5 МЛН