My Husband Refuses to Get a Job (Should I Leave Him?)

My Husband Refuses to Get a Job (Should I Leave Him?)
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com) We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudslee...
- Hallow - www.hallow.com...
- Thorne (25% Off Orders) - www.thorne.com...
Resources:
• Building a Non-Anxious Life - bit.ly/3EL5ubR
• Anxiety Test - bit.ly/460QXUp
• Own Your Past, Change Your Future - bit.ly/47q7Skm
• Questions for Humans Conversation Cards - bit.ly/472lIKd
• John's Free Guided Meditation - bit.ly/3MAGpEV
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/)
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at www.betterhelp... and get on your way to being your best self.
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...

[@meesh1002]

“No he’s not like this” but also “he got fired from other jobs for stealing”. Yes honey, that’s who he is

[@devadii24]

☠️

[@jennifert2953]

I’m with you. I have lived this. I wish I could buy you coffee and just listen to you. Wow this got to me. It hurts so much doesn’t it. I know you don’t want to be a single mom, but you already are.

[@Erica-wz8yv]

💯

[@Catelynmeow]

I can’t imagine being too lazy to work and being at the mercy of everyone else. A job provides independence and security.

[@umiluv]

That’s not laziness. It sounds like depression to me.

[@Erica-wz8yv]

Sometimes it is just pure laziness.

[@user-if4ke6en9r]

@@umiluvbro he’s been fired from multiple jobs for stealing cash-value items, and now refuses to work. He may be depressed, but he’s also just a lazy pile of garbage

[@salonsavy6476]

I’ve been through it ,, my sons father,,the guy was too entitled to work!

[@jet4415]

That’s why women should work as it does “provide independence and security”.

[@jennpul1015]

A man refuses to perform his most basic duty. And he steals🙄🙄. She should run. When my uncle who is a qualified accountant couldn't find a job on his field, he did construction for 2 years before he got employed as an accountant again.

[@emperorpalpatine9841]

It’s 2024.

[@marciabernard3820]

It's ok to be single.

[@brightpage1020]

This is not a “should I leave him?” Situation. This is a “How do I get out from under this mess, now?” Call. I hope We The Internet For Good can help her and her kids. I called the show and left a message asking how to help donate something to support this family. I would encourage others to stand up for these kids the same way. Thank you!

[@jasonleatherwood2172]

Dont donate a dime she can get welfare she aint working either remember

[@vanmamawannabe6360]

@@jasonleatherwood2172Did you miss the part where she said she’s on maternity leave and going back to work in a week?

[@NRQ-zv5bp]

​@@jasonleatherwood2172first of all she is working because she mentioned how she worked until pretty much the day the baby was born since her husband wasn't working. She's on maternity leave and now her maternity leave is almost up. Secondly, even if she wasn't working that's even more reason to help her. If she was on welfare all of a sudden and she's a mother of four with a 2 year old and a newborn we should want to help her. May you never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever need help a moment in your life because I feel bad for you. What you put out there for that woman will probably come back 100 fold on you which is to get a whole bunch of nothing not an inch from anyone no empathy nothing

[@drn13355]

I am not donating money to lazy scrubs. There are a gazillion jobs out there. I am not working to send my money to grow ups sitting on their couch watching tv all day.

[@MN-br5nb]

She can definitely get assistance and start a gofundme last thing we need is a pregnant mom on the streets. He’s not a man if he’s stealing money and gift cards, I understand ppl do strange things. But this is not a man of character. And if strangers want to donate to her that’s their right. That’s your good deed with God don’t let the negative ppl tell you otherwise. They are just bitter.

[@tammyreise]

Men like him are unhinged… I wouldn’t even give him notice. Or get law enforcement involved. Her husband is pretty much a criminal.

[@daryltgeorge]

None of the men in my close inner circle have ever been fired from a job, never been charged with any crimes, make above average income, and have children only if if married. So let's not go down the generalisation route.

[@tammyreise]

@Ivan_5150 you should too.

[@tammyreise]

@@daryltgeorge good for you 👍🏼

[@tammyreise]

@Ivan_5150 I corrected my comment. I maintain my disposition.

[@talyahr3302]

He literally is a criminal. And a repeat offender. It's amazing he's shocked he got caught the 3rd time. Maybe he thought he'd become such a better thief, but missing money is always going to leave a noticeable gap.

[@gabbyyyyy5452]

He’s a loser, ma’am. How can any man watch the mother of his children struggle and be so stressed out right under his nose. He’s getting angrier because he’s realizing how much of a burden he really is as time passes . I’m sorry this is your situation I hope you have some relief soon dear ❤️

[@andrew8168]

She chose this and she's been making bad choices in men her whole life (or she would be married to the first man she spoke an unbreakable vow to stay with til death did them part).

[@alladreamwedreamed]

It's embarrassing to admit you picked a loser, or someone that turned into a loser. You can hear the embarrassment in her voice! I wish I could give her a fast forward button to see her better future without him.

[@jh26pt2]

The dude hasn't bothered to support his family for almost a year, has been fired three times for stealing, repeatedly gets angry (and trending towards violent), and always has an excuse for why he isn't doing what he should. Uh, why exactly would you want to stay with him?

[@Anonymus-xr5ee]

Because she is an "addict". Why do some people not only stay in terrible relationships but end up with them repeatedly? Because the relationship gives them something that they desperately want. Most e.g., gambling, alcohol, or drug addicts understand at some level that their behavior is destructive, but still, they do not stop or fail to stop. Drugs, gambling, or whatever gives you something that you want. Without dealing with that, it will be hard to break the pattern. There is a real risk, that she will eventually leave this guy, but after some time end in a similar relationship again.

[@jh26pt2]

@@Anonymus-xr5ee Sadly, you're right. The fact is, this caller was attracted to this man, married him, and has been with him for years. If you keep picking lemons, that's on you.

[@tonytoni1150]

They have a fear of being alone. Being with an unstable man provides her with the emotional chaos she NEEDS in her life, that’s why she stays. This lady ain’t going nowhere.

[@faithli2131]

Idk whether y’all have the truth of it or not, but for every person who is reluctant to leave a bad relationship, there are multiple people way too ready to leave relationships that just need some work out into them. Don’t be mean to the people who are reluctant to give up on someone. More people should be a little more reluctant. That said, I’m not saying she should stay with him either.

[@lot2196]

Sadly, I agree. I've seen women walk away from wonderful situations to live in trailers with trash. They need it, they love the drama and the bad boys.

[@chrisckvan]

Ladies and gentlemen. Please make better choices in who you marry and have children with. Straight up this man is a bum, and I am sure there were signs of this before she had children with him and married him.

[@daryltgeorge]

The fact that he was fired TWICE before for stealing suggests that these character flaws were always there, and she really should have done some good digging before getting married and having kids. I suspect that this woman has been through a lot of trauma and rushed from one bad relationship to another.

[@terriesmith2616]

The signs were always there, people simply choose to ignore it because they are at the beginning love stage and don't want it to end, nor face it, so they ignore the obvious red flags.

[@bria2596]

My grandmother, Opal Mae, always said, "Never keep a man who will not work." I worked in disability, and you would be shocked at how many men in their 30s and 40s would file for disability, but had ZERO earnings on record. When I asked, they all told me the same thing, women took care of them. Those ladies needed to meet my grandmother. She would have explained that they could do a LOT better, than a man who only wanted to use them. None of those men were found to be disabled - they were healthy and well cared for.

[@paulababula9621]

I've met men who don't have $20 to their name. Lazy fucks

[@janwells2199]

Her reaction to "Are you safe?" is telling. Yikes.

[@Sheryl777]

@janwells2199 👍

[@Walkingwithjordan214]

I was once an unemployed husband of a pregnant wife. The shame still haunts me. I now hold 3 jobs and volunteer weekly at church and somehow carve out family time with that beautiful wife and daughter she was carrying all those years ago. It only gets better if you get moving. ❤

[@JessSJ2DC]

My husband’s been fired twice - basically unemployed for over 4 years. I hate it. I can only ask folks for prayers. I pray every single night that my husband can turnaround the way you did.

[@Walkingwithjordan214]

@@JessSJ2DC I will pray for both of you. 🙏🏽

[@MyCatsChannel841]

Ya no a man needs to provide when a women is pregnant my gosh women are not cared for in todays world like it’s hard to work as a pregnant women it’s terrible u let her carry you guys so long and did nothing heck no I woulda divorced along time ago I understand things happen but it doesn’t matter your wife was pregnant 🤰 but I would divorce and leave and get a Real man man crazy times in todays world 😂

[@Walkingwithjordan214]

@@MyCatsChannel841 if she would have taken your bad advise and not stuck by me while I was on a job hunt she would have missed out on being a stay at home mom for the past 12 years. Not to mention our daughter would be living in a broken home. For better or worse, you don’t just walk because someone loses a job. Thats silly.

[@coriemmett1363]

At least you have integrity and work ethic. Sometimes ppl don’t. 😢

[@whatintheheck4692]

This man-child will not change and I hope she can move on and live her best life.

[@abcdlilbit11]

Sounds like his dishonest thievery is catching up to him. Leave leave leave

[@kayabe856]

RUN!!!!

[@May-qb3vx]

Red flag. This sounds exactly like what my sister was saying about her husband of 20 years. Come to find out, he was physically abusing her behind closed doors the whole time. I’m just afraid there is more going on in the background here. Her husband (and my sister’s soon to be ex) both have very real mental health issues, but it’s still their responsibility. He needs to seek help (and stop stealing) AND get a job. If he refuses one or both, I’d say he needs to be out of the picture. I’m praying for y’all and your babies

[@umiluv]

Lots of restaurants employ convicts as cooks.

[@coolaunt516]

She should leave? She's got four kids who need a place to live. Kick HIM out and let him figure out where he is going to live.

[@greenAbbot]

Her plan is to kick him out.

[@cherrypieforbreakfast1499]

That's what John told her to do. Did you not listen to the whole call?

[@araineacutebrownnurse7315]

I would have been on so much birth control, rhythm method , body condom …. JUST PROTECTING MY FERTILITY and sanity. An adult man child husband 🤯no use in me adding to the madness. At some point you also have to take accountability RUNNNNNN

[@keylacmckemp1309]

I was thinking about that. Do not bring children into this.

[@rockerwoman]

That really did stand out for me…STOP HAVING KIDS!

[@danielnickerson1762]

Stop choosing these men that don't work! There's no excuse for it period. Choosing a man that's not a good provider will destroy ur life. I haven't been without an income since I was in high school. There's no excuse!

[@naca1553]

Yes it has impacted my life not having a man who was a good provider

[@CyeOutsider]

She didn't choose a man that didn't work. She chose a man with a job who then got fired.

[@lavenderandgold8588]

A lot of these guys will blame their mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc). So, they have enough self awareness to understand that they’re struggling but don’t want to take the first step to seek treatment so they can get their motivation back. Unfortunately, some people just need to hit rock bottom in order to get it.

[@dangerzone24]

It blows me away what some women are willing to settle for these days. I had a close friend in almost the exact situation, and she got mad at me for trying to help rather than her deadbeat husband.

[@CyeOutsider]

How is she setting? She didn't know about his previous stealing and she's trying to leave him now.

[@talkindurinthemovie]

When my husband lost his job he worked making cabinets and as a personal trainer while getting his MBA

[@hansonallie]

Very cool!

[@FrankS111]

She’s already had a failed marriage. Now another one with a bum who can’t work but decided to have 2 kids with him knowing this. He’s a loser and she picks losers. Keep picking men who give you the emotional rollercoaster tingles and expect this for your life. He needs to see a psychologist as she does as well.

[@sanitary103]

Yup she keeps choosing losers. She’s part of the problem as well.

[@citrustaco]

Correction: She is a loser too. You are what you eat and you are what your pick. If this were a guy choosing loser women repeatedly, we’d point the finger at him and call it what it is. He’s a loser. Loser men have only loser women to pick from. And vice versa. He talked to her and she accepted and gave him kids. She has to find a way to change her loser mentality if she wants to move on.

[@Dark_Souls_3]

@@citrustacoit’s rough and many people would want to support her all the way. I think that’s because we tend to side with the protagonist of a story, even if they’re wrong. This lady picks losers and at the end of the day, it’s not her fault for dealing with her outcomes, but it is her fault for not being wise enough the second time to follow the same outcome a second time

[@probablynot1368]

Did you not hear her say that after he was fired from the recent job (the week after she found out she was pregnant), she then discovered he had been fired from two prior jobs? Although he hid these behaviors from her, she was responsible for doing more ‘research’ prior to marriage to figure out if he was good husband/father material.

[@wf4983]

He might not even given her the roller coster tingles. I doubt he did. She needed someone and ... some people are not the logical type. I feel sorry for her. She's exhausted.

[@SeanGunz]

Couldn't imagine being like this. I couldn't stand even being on short term disability after a surgery and got back into the gym and work as fast as possible even though I was still being paid. I had the house in tip top shape while watching the kids to feel somewhat normal

[@Lover30583]

Maybe I watch too much TV, but I feel like these are the situations where the woman tries to leave or does leave and the man comes back and murders her and/or the kids. All the obvious red flags are there. Scary situation for a woman to be in.

[@Sheryl777]

@Nicholas8282 When you say "watch TV" I'm thinking TV news...it happens every day almost in the town I live in. A day doesn't seem to go by that we don't hear on the news where someone has murdered someone else, and a lot of times it's a man who has done the murdering to family members. (I didn't say ALL the time, but many times it is the man who does that type of thing, including committing suicide once he's murdered others in his life, if we go by what the news is saying that is).

[@rory644]

@@Sheryl777it’s pretty much always the man who kills very rarely the woman

[@hansonallie]

I had the same thought! From the story (her side anyway) I definitely sense a personality disorder that could turn dangerous…

[@Sheryl777]

@@hansonallie Yes I agree that's a possibility for sure.

[@YcMdattGUY]

My mom's husband is this same way. Hasnt had a job for 5 years. My mom was gifted a car from a coworker and she gave it to him because otherwise he would be stuck in the house. He wrecked it in 2 weeks lol. She pays all their bills and complains to us (her kids) about it. I dont really know what to say about it any more.

[@hansonallie]

Ugh! I feel badly for your Mom!

[@lynnlakotich6331]

​@@hansonallieyou shouldn't. She made the choice to tolerate that behavior.

[@vaska1999]

​@@hansonallieI feel sorry for her kids.

[@vaska1999]

​@@hansonallieI feel sorry for her mom's kids.

[@stephkais5613]

I bet if her family and friends were asked about it, they would say this was 100% predictable. The man was a bum from the start. The caller obviously makes stupid choices. She needs therapy and get on permanent birth control so that she doesn't have more babies with another bum baby daddy.

[@alberttang6955]

What are the odds she gets pregnant with a 5th kid by a future baby daddy.

[@terriesmith2616]

She needs to stop having kids period. Five kids is more than enough for a lifetime.

[@tspencer661]

She needs to get out ASAP. No ultimatums. She needs to plan her departure without his knowledge. She needs to talk with her local domestic violence shelter. She needs to make sure that he can’t access the bank accounts. (My ex husband almost left me penniless.) Some people are unwilling to change themselves for the better. He sounds like one of these people. No self respecting man would strand a 15 year old on the side of the road. This man is DANGEROUS. She may need to be prepared to pay him spousal support. She’s been providing for him financially for almost a year. My ex husband had been unemployed for two years at the time I left. Because of this, the judge in my divorce case ordered me to pay spousal support for nine months. I had a great attorney, so I didn’t have to pay him the $2200 a month he initially asked for. I wish this woman the best of luck.

[@intuitive_duck]

You know it’s real bad when his own family doesn’t support him over the wife.

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

What happens, when you clearly see a problem, ignore it and hope life gets better.

[@alluringbliss4165]

It either becomes a bigger problem or it creates anxiety forcing you to deal with it, from my experience.

[@Audra94braun]

Well well, fancy seeing you here 😂

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

Guilty.

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

@@Audra94braunThat's hilarious!

[@hf110510]

Sara - pllllease leave. Its going to be REALLY hard. You will have to pull strength you dont know from where. But I promise that it will be worth it.

[@Deans-jm3uf]

My gut says husband is using

[@umiluv]

Good insight.

[@mysterio1570]

Sara has no romantic prospects in her life. Her current Hubs is self destructive. She needs to get out. Its not like he is going to change any time soon. She needs to not have any romantic relationship with a man for a good two years to recalibrate. All I hear in this is that she does not want to be alone and being just a mom and working woman with out some sort of romantic relationship.

[@daryltgeorge]

This exactly. No relationship with her former partner (husband? baby daddy?) and their children says it all - her previous choice in partner was bad, and this choice in partner is equally bad (or worse). Sara needs to leave this relationship IMMEDIATELY, get intensive therapy, and forget about any type of serious romantic relationship for the next few years.

[@thegatesofdawn...1386]

Well, the husband is not a great loss if he is abusive and has no job! She's going through a traumatic time, God bless her.❤ Prayer warriors need to get on board the prayer train! 🙏

[@kcourtney6826]

I was wondering what was the reason for his termination from his last job, which explains why he isn't looking for another he probably has a record.

[@alihall676]

It’s very easy to judge this woman when you have never walked a mile in her shoes. She has my prayers for a better tomorrow. I commend her for making this phone call. I hope she is able to keep moving forward. She needs support, kindness and help.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

She has made very poor judgements.

[@angelafair6492]

I agree. We have *ALL* made decisions and chose people that we “ shouldn’t have .” She was just brave enough to share it. She has a hard road ahead , but I wish her nothing but the best.

[@kiwiskiwi]

wow so many victim blamers here. HE has made very poor judgements. Fortunately, she is leaving him.@@rebeccaoprea9917

[@jamaicaninthekitchen4358]

She needs to leave him he cant expect ger to take care of him.go get help be a man.

[@stephaniwagner637]

​@@rebeccaoprea9917sounds like you've never made a bad decision in your life

[@wf4983]

Dr. Delony is very good at his job! Well done 👍

[@stephaniejensen4596]

My heart breaks for this lady; it sounds as if her husband is close to harming the family even further. This is really dangerous. I hope they find safety soon. Also, what happens with his bio kids?

[@julieosmondson5180]

My opinion is this guy love bombed you and you didn’t realize who he really is. Now you are seeing the real him. He is lazy, doesn’t want to work, and is a thief. He is abusive. With a new baby you are overwhelmed. But you and the kids deserve better. Make good choices every day and keep moving on! Better days are ahead just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You sound like a sweet good person and a good mom.

[@jones2277]

bingo. women with low self-esteem and lack of boundaries or discipline fall hard for love bombing.

[@javaskull88]

I have to wonder why he’s stealing? For starters, drugs and/or gambling come to mind. Drugs would also explain why he’s sleeping half the day. What a mess.

[@jonibusskohl8958]

Why would you want to stay so you can be his mommy the rest of his life and then if you actually need something he will turn tail and run?

[@citrustaco]

Because she chose to have two kids with him and they both are very young.

[@terriesmith2616]

She's pregnant with this loser bum's 3rd child. She has five kids total. She needs to stop creating more children. 5 kids is more than enough. Close them legs or get on birth control or surgery.

[@SandraStachowiczLtd]

She doesn't have 4 kids in the house, she has 5 😂😂😂 Edit: She sounds as if someone put her in the washing machine and gave her a good spin. I almost feel sorry for her Except, she needs to choose better next time

[@Christine-kq9ok]

Next time relationship? Choose better? A single woman with four minor children? Yes, men will be beating down her door to date her, all right.

[@kayabe856]

She should choose to be alone. Just her and her kids. Be content with being alone

[@StuGo1013]

Sara, move on! You will get stronger each day that goes by and as you get closer to your goal. Your husband had his chance. Your main concern is the children. These children need YOU!

[@DominickSpano]

I am all about redemption and perhaps the husband can change at some point, (I hope so) but for now get rid of him, no question about it. She does need a plan.

[@brightpage1020]

Yes, a safety plan. Within 24 - 48 hours.

[@Lil-Whiskies]

A friend of mine called this type of dysfunction, paralysis. The complete inability to have forward progress in one's life, just stagnating in unhappiness.

[@hansonallie]

If I were 15 w/ a pregnant mom, I’d probably need a drink or a vape 💨 as well…

[@deed449]

He’s afraid to go back to work obviously. He’s a thief and he knows it. Why would he put himself in the position to get fired again. On the other hand this may be his wake up call to actually get the help he needs. She really should leave him for her own mental health. The children do not need to be subjected to this or the potential abuse.

[@lovelytessk2763]

You need to background check everyone you date

[@TheCratsky]

The husband of a friend has been unemployed for 4 years so far. She refuses to have the tough conversation and ask him what/why he continues to do nothing. Little dies she realise she is enabling him by continuing to do everything around the house so he doesn't realise she is resenting him. His life has not suffered as a result of quitting his job. Some people like to complain and do nothing about it sadly. She complains to us but continues to play the obedient wife.

[@JessSJ2DC]

Hey that’s me! 👋

[@FrankS111]

Imagine picking a man to marry and have children with who gets fired for stealing THEN complain about how poorly things are turning out for your life. She needs to seek help before getting into any other relationship

[@kimberlyrobinson1978]

I would be so OVER relationships at that point!

[@razmiddle9410]

I’ve noticed you spending your time commenting on a lot of Delony videos - where the women is the one doing something wrong, you blame her actions, not the man involved with her for choosing her. When it’s the man doing something wrong as in this case, you blame the woman for choosing him. It sounds like you have issues with taking accountability in your life.

[@strajearocks11]

This caller is the one stepping up, has a job & is getting counseling. The husband is a loser who needs to be dropped off on the side of the road.

[@ILuvMyBrwnSkin]

If you actually listened to the video through the truth and not your own bias, you would have heard that she didn't know about his stealing until after she found out about her second pregnancy by which they had been married already. Bitterness rots the bones

[@ruthiesmith6770]

WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM

[@umiluv]

Lol comments section is really really judgmental. They could not and should not be therapists.

[@SaystheTruth3]

The comment section is open publicly for all kinds of opinions/suggestions... Meow lol! 😺

[@jillianwilliams1]

I'm so sorry..... I'm in the same position. I work full time,we have two kids and my husband has been out of a job for over a year. It's disheartening. My heart goes to this woman.

[@distorbia20]

Lady this is not salvageable. He has criminal past and wouldn’t get a good reference. He can’t work. You have new baby can’t imagine having all this stress on top being a new mum. I feel for her

[@cyoohoos]

Run far, far, away I tiptoe because one day they want to leave, the next they are defending the spouse. There is immaturity on both sides, so... if you like it... I LOVE it

[@Sheryl777]

If her husband has been getting more and more angry lately, it might not be safe for her to do the things that Dr. John is telling her to do...as far as talking to him and telling him that there's going to be a separation unless such and such is done. I sort of fear she may be in danger if she does tell him that. Don't get me wrong, I think they should separate under the circumstances, it's just that I'm not sure how badly he's going to take it, and I hope and pray he won't take it out on her in a physical way, potentially causing harm to her and/or her children.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

She’s working with a counselor so that will help and also she’s not pregnant, she already had the baby!

[@Sheryl777]

@@flashthecorgi2053 I hope that things will work out for her and the kids for sure! The fact that she's seeing a counselor will help her, but in my mind at least, unless something major changes, it probably won't help him any that she's seeing a counselor...I doubt he cares much about that, the way the phone call sounded. When you said, "She’s working with a counselor so that will help and also she’s not pregnant, she already had the baby!" I didn't hear that she'd already had the baby and wasn't pregnant anymore...guess I missed that part...so thanks for mentioning it. 👍

[@Sheryl777]

@@flashthecorgi2053 I hope working with a counselor will help her yes, but I doubt it will change her husband any, unless he finally wakes up and does the right things (as he should).

[@Sheryl777]

@@flashthecorgi2053 I'm glad to hear she already had the baby...I missed that part of the convo...so thanks for telling me that.

[@girlygirl1890]

@sheryl777 I agree with you. Talking to him like John says is not wise advice. i don't trust him with "a talking to."

[@CC12398]

He can obviously find a job if he's already been fired multiple times for stealing.

[@talyahr3302]

Maybe before, they didn't press charges and for this time they did. Idk. There's always a sucker out there though.

[@anonymouse9833]

9:50 ALSO it's not his dad, it's his mom's lazy husband. Definitely adds a layer

[@daryltgeorge]

The fact that her son has already been in therapy for years, and that she has no relationship with the dad, suggests that this woman has been through a lot of trauma and has not been able to make good decisions. If this guy was fired TWICE for stealing before this means that the red flags were there, she probably was just too desirous of getting back into a marriage and being "saved" to notice. Mom needs to IMMEDIATELY separate from this guy and get intensive therapy before making any additional life changing decisions. I would bet that husband is probably abusing alcohol/drugs as well.

[@paulaqueirosz]

Minus the kids, I'm in a similar situation. Husband not working for a year, getting more unstable by the hour, refusing to get help or own his mistakes (not dishonesty though). I haven't left yet because I have nowhere to go. My family lives in another country and there is a housing crisis in my area, so I cannot afford most apartments - the ones I can, have 200 applicants. It's nerve-wracking... my thoughts are with this lady...

[@mle011]

Move out, rent a room in a house or an apartment- you maybe can’t afford to live by yourself but you can live with roommates instead of a toxic partner.

[@keylacmckemp1309]

Do you have a coworker or friend you can move in with? Worse case, move to the country where your family is.

[@kathleencooney1518]

OMG ! All of this & she’s not really safe. Holy cow. She’s pregnant with 3 other kids ? I hope she has a church family. I’m praying for her. 🙏❤️🙏

[@Morenita570]

She got, got. Single mothers are targets. Now she going to have pay his child support to previous baby moms, since he’s not working and will never get a normal paying job because of his thievery. She will work herself to the bone in the name of keeping her 2nd family together until her mental health or physical health declines. The goal is to make her into a submissive provider. Her devaluation will begin in private, than amongst family & friends, lastly on social media. Everyone will tell her she should’ve chosen better, no one will tell these males to BE better.

[@kara2162]

Damn.. this guy is a peice of work. At home sleeping all day while his wife is home on maternity leave ? 😟 Most likely he’s not even insured be able to afford to seek medical help.

[@jes6161]

As a citizen of Bexar county, this sounds like a situation you’d run into in San Antonio. Not a lot of smart people here.

[@tamid2225]

I lived there for 20 years. It is soooo true!

[@9liveslisa]

If I had a husband that refused to work and support the family at all, I would leave him.

[@Lil-Whiskies]

If I had a husband that refused to work - outside of the home - he would be working inside of the home. Cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, bill paying, meeting with the plumbers and house maintenance, running errands, taking care of the kids, taking them to school and picking them up, having dinner ready when I get home. The whole shebang. A house-husband.

[@Kristen-ek9rz]

and don't forget being an Uber running the kids around to all their activities and appointments...many people do not realize what goes into being a SAHM..... @@Lil-Whiskies

[@abrazoybesito01]

God Hinself says, "A man who does not work...DOES NOT EAT"... 2 Thessalonions 3:10 "What we permit...we PERMOTE... what we allow we ENCIURAGE ... what we condone...we OWN"!!! 👍🏼

[@greenAbbot]

Thessal onions are my favorite type of onions.

[@xreediculousx]

The husband and wife both make GREAT life choices.

[@addiskassa5165]

@andsimina13 wow! Love this!👍👊🙏

[@devadii24]

bullseye 🎯

[@alqoshgirl]

@andsimina13she’s on her second marriage. Guess she hasn’t learned her lesson quite enough. People like her rarely change and don’t acknowledge they have very poor decision making skills

[@JackAceINC]

Here's the deal, if he has ever been physically abusive towards you or the children... YOU ARE 100% DONE!

[@kayabe856]

She should be done regardless. He is a deadbeat.

[@stickybandit2346]

Maybe he spent the last 20 years paying for the house they live in and she is the deadbeat that is finally having to pay for things.@@kayabe856

[@sw6155]

Violence aside, I know a family like that… The dad has a cdl license still valid and doesn’t want to work because when his older kids were little he was on the road and he didn’t watch them grow… but now his younger kids of his second marriage are homeless because the wife was let go in a lay-off batch, savings thinned out and the rent went up… The mama has an 18mo, 3yo, 5yo, 2 8yo and a 10yo… With his cdl here in TN he could make enough that she wouldn’t need to work… I’m really pissed at him for their situation…. Their kids did not deserve to be homeless in grandpa’s house. 😓💔💔💔💔💔

[@girlygirl1890]

@sw6156 Wow. So sad for the children (and wife). I hope they end up o.k. Thank you for sharing that story.

[@sw6155]

@@girlygirl1890 We’re praying for them and providing punctual support with the kids as needed. I urge everyone who can to pray for the Blair family, please. Prayers do work! Especially selfless prayers from strangers, those are a special gift of love that are always rewarded in due time… 🥰🙏💕💕

[@amberklein1560]

I'm SO sorry for what you're going through.

[@Cyblps]

Don’t wait! Protect your children and yourself!!!! Be brave and leave. He won’t change in 30 days.

[@vjs4539]

Yes. Definitely leave him. You can get more help from the state.

[@ST-rj8iu]

This is why we need to stop welfare. Poor choices was not what welfare was made for....it is for people with real disabilities. It is not fair.

[@tanyamilewski5700]

He sounds like scum for repeatedly stealing. He has huge moral issues

[@jorgebernier5d]

I have a feeling that she knew about his stealing problem all along, but now that he is having issues getting a new job (for obvious reasons) it has become a real problem, which it makes sense, but oh well. Who knows. This is just her side of their story.

[@tonytoni1150]

Of course she knew about his stealing problems. She knows what she’s dealing with, they just like to play dumb.

[@kilaa3417]

​@@tonytoni1150she's being abused and so are her kids, she doesn't know self-worth, focus.

[@kayn2756]

And now he steals from her to feed his addiction. She married a total prince.

[@Pocahantes]

Dont trust his family whole heartly they will still side with him

[@cutehumor]

is the husband trying to be the stay at home husband with the 2 year old and the newborn? 🤣🤣🤣

[@greenAbbot]

I see no evidence that he’s doing anything to take care of the kids.

[@Lil-Whiskies]

He sleeps all day, he's bad at being a house husband and should be fired from that too.

[@commanderbarbie2550]

You definitely shouldn’t have had another kid. That’s should have been a given.

[@The_paciente]

Leave him

[@gjh7810]

You didn't even watch the whole video.

[@katrina3560]

​@@gjh7810did you? Cause I'm half way through and she definitely should leave this "man".

[@gjh7810]

​@@katrina3560Well if you want a judge who gets thru half of a hearing and gives a judgment then I think we are done here.

[@katrina3560]

@gjh7810 straw man fallacy. "I think we are done here." The arrogance, but okay. You go ahead and marry a thieving and deceiving woman of equal value to this "man".

[@JayJay-ii5un]

As soon as she leaves he'll have a job in 3 days. I've seen this before.

[@UnknownWarriorZz]

He sounds like he might have an addiction she doesn’t know about. Whenever I hear stealing that usually goes along with addiction.

[@chelsmaria]

100% thought the same thing

[@vanessapanek9959]

She’s probably suffering a little bit of postpartum depression. Also, she just had a baby.

[@flyandshy00]

That's why you only date a well off ambitious man. This guy is very dangerous. She needs police present when she wants to kick him out, he might actually kill her because he has nothing to lose anymore.

[@kekejefferson9219]

Sad, now a single mom of 4. I would have ended this pregnancy.

[@TB-yx5of]

I ended a pregnancy under similar circumstances. Couldn't bring a third child into a terrible situation.

[@laurahall5182]

He’s not going to change and have some light bulb moment. He is showing you who he is, believe him, and run!

[@chrisgast]

It's paramount to get to know people you get involved with. If they lack maturity or they are only pretending to be mature, then either tell them that so that they change for the better or move on. People who don't end up in situations like these.

[@umiluv]

I’m surprised she didn’t say she had friends or family to talk to. Very sad.

[@girlygirl1890]

@uniluv they probably didn't like him in the first place.

[@COINsimp2024]

She needs to stay alone until her kids are of age. This is the type of woman that Keven Samuel's talked about. Keeps having kids and failed relationships with obvious losers.

[@djpuplex]

70% of the time a man loses his job he gets divorced. 40% of the time he finds another job he gets divorced anyway. Maybe he wants to be a stay at home dad. And there still breeding. A blended family 🤦.

[@sc-ds7hx]

Honey, you gotta go

[@meg1955]

The first betrayal was when she met this husband and he represented himself to be someone (character-wise) that he was not. Been there. Men with attachment issues will say or do anything to get attachment. Afterward, they let fly with their poor character traits. And you can't change another person, only your own reaction to what they do.

[@cur244]

Most guys that are lazy like this are obsessing about politics and news all day.

[@homeschoolhq2137]

Video games and sleep

[@alladreamwedreamed]

My 1st husband developed a shoplifting problem. It got worse and worse and he tried to hide it from me but i figured it out and confronted him. He did not want to stop stealing. So i left him. Sad but disappointing. Some people put so much effort into tricking others, and zero effort into being a better person.

[@MyCatsChannel841]

Well at least you Left 👏👏👏👏👏smart

[@loui7210]

Damn she sounds tired and depressed

[@paulacastro5128]

Please leave today and do not meet him in person. Go to a shelter with the little ones and let her ex take the older kids for short term. Get a restraining order and move out of the state now. He is unhinged and should not be around you and the kids. I recommend silently leaving and not giving an ultimatum or final conversation. Your 15 year old is self medicating to deal with instability and chaos.

[@umiluv]

Shelters are dangerous. I would find trusted friend or family first.

[@greenAbbot]

Why would she go to a shelter? she can afford the apartment

[@probablynot1368]

Husband is not the biological father of the two older children. It appears to be extremely dangerous to leave any child alone with him as his anger and frustration escalates.

[@paulacastro5128]

It’s highly unlikely he’ll leave when asked. He may harm her and the kids. According to her, he’s increasingly becoming abusive.

[@paulacastro5128]

She needs to leave.

[@itakenaps]

My husband refuses to get a job. Should I leave him? Yes. Next question

[@eatnplaytoday]

In life you can’t change a person, you can’t wait for someone to change either. The only person who needs to change is her and she needs to remove herself from him. She can wait for him to change while separated from him. That final conversation (if in person) can be dangerous for her considering his anger. She should remove herself first physically , then make the call. If her husband has ever abused her son, she needs to call the cops

[@keronhodge4773]

I can’t believe people are really so lazy like this

[@oc2538]

12:31 Her husband is not a safe place. Leave immediately, this man sounds like he's not even caring about the kids and he may lash out on her if she tries an ultimatum. She needs to go to a safe place with her kids. She had two kids with the wrong guy and had another two again with the wrong guy.

[@candyluna2929]

Stealing. Yeah...she needs to leave.

[@ruanorafa]

I’m surprise dr. John advice was to just leave, if rolls were switched he would advice to support his wife while going through her mental illness. Shows men only value is to provide.