Joining a Stupid Kingdom

I LMAO'd

[@yolkonut6851]

"Hey, I know you're about to die in a siege but I'm getting married :)"

[@ironscalp484]

Bro is living his best life out there

[@lordfordification]

I thought the player had to choose the for the brother to get married though

[@thomaspritchett3972]

​@lordfordification no its sometimes pretty random

[@ibnlaa7d]

I laughed so hard on this one

[@alex2005z]

​@lordfordification you can offer your brother's hand in marriage and choose his wife yourself, but you can also wait for proposals

[@TheGospodinmichail]

Funny thing is... this is how sieges actually happened in medieval times. Weeks of bored anxiety, interrupted by occasional assaults, while waiting for a relief force. You would be a local legend for holding out like that so long.

[@AquaHeartVGCGaming]

Im glad you were there at the sieges to confirm this

[@TheGospodinmichail]

@@AquaHeartVGCGaming The inevitable smartass comment. We have archaeological finds, documented historical evidence and meticulously made icons of that time, serving as proof of bygone ages. Instead of copying some comment from other person that gave you funnies, go educate yourself, find interest in life and hold a real conversation.

[@joeyyc8515]

AhahHh

[@joeyyc8515]

So true

[@blax140]

it took a whole ingame year for a relief force to arrive for me once so i was just stuck in that castle with just my party of 240 constantly defending it got to the point where the attackers moral was so low they would retreat before they even reached the walls

[@mr.jancok4413]

De.Bunny: **barely defending a city against a force twice as his** His Brother: Hey guess what, I'm getting married

[@purritto3779]

That soldier who defeated you became a legend in his village

[@def3ndr887]

Stanford Bridge moment

[@JustaDood857]

"Tell us how he died" ... "His arms got tired... Thankfully.."

[@Hyri3L]

bro tahts the best hahaha

[@therageknight8546]

I am currently stuck in this EXACT SITUATION. In Varcheg with 600 shitty recruits defending vs. Tynop’s 1500 elite cataphracts legionaries and palatine guards. I sent my troops to do the siege because the autoresolve heavily favours the defenders in sieges, and now it’s down to me alone to kill three hundred western imperials. Beowulf will see it done

[@jessestassi2155]

Have you tried to auto resolve, it is unfairly in favor of the defender in settlements.

[@therageknight8546]

@@jessestassi2155 I managed to win the fight, so no need, but thanks for the tip

[@jessestassi2155]

@@therageknight8546 no problem!

[@hailothgaming]

Palatine Archers aren't really amazing, 130 Bow, Battanian Archers are where you have to start worrying, 260 Bow, one of the best archer groups in the game. the Cataphracts though.... good luck. This is why I travel around for awhile building an elite fighting force, currently at 139 Troops with 40 Elite Cataphracts, 41 Battanian Archers maxed, 40 Imperial legionaries, and about 20 Imperial Buccelari. Most stand alone Lords and even kings can't take me on without issue, they need help.

[@JackShenkman]

@@hailothgamingcurrently at 200 Khan Guards beating armies twice my size without losing a unit

[@SnowyKuda]

That rock dropping friendly fire "Some of you may die... but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

[@marc1164]

Pro tip, you can actually throw boulders and catapult ammo at the battering ram in quick succession to destroy them before an an enemy breaks in.

[@BlitzStorm]

Appreciate the tip, though most of my defences haven't even had the ram in them! I'll be sure to use it for later in this campaign.

[@malakatan3235]

Is there mod or now game allow us to edit character, I am too lazy to start out fresh, because gaining money & training experience is too long

[@yankeety1169]

@@malakatan3235 it's a little tedious, but you can just use console commands to customize your skills/perks on a fresh character, hopefully a mod will be created if there isn't.

[@malakatan3235]

@@yankeety1169 thanks for tip

[@alexandere9368]

@@malakatan3235 Character Reload Fix

[@michaelbryant8218]

I had my alliance just walk by with a 1100 man army while my 400 man army is being attacked by a 900 man army we beat em but then another 300 showed right after cost us an army a town and a castle. Gotta love it

[@carlostrujillo9971]

Watches a 800 stack walk by a 200 stack sieging Vladiv castle. Just to be defeated tryna capture another cast we lost 2 castles a city and had to pay a heavy tribute 😭😭 fuck sturgians stay getting steam rolled everytime

[@kalinora3901]

I've played several different playthroughs and each time, everyone around Sturgia is declaring war on them or they are declaring war on everyone else. It's annoying to have a war going on one side of the map and then have another one start up on the other. Having to amass an army to retake Varcheg because no one else decided to form a cohesive enough army to slap Vlandia.@@carlostrujillo9971

[@lucakloonen1298]

Or like they gonna siege a rebelled town instead of sieging the ones they got war with so im like standing there defending with my 316 while the others are like across the map

[@fellowasp6768]

I'd check out the "War and Ai tweaks" helps with specifically the ai on the map how they move and defend etc totally worth it. But in my experience if u get close enough to that army while it's near the opponents larger army they'll push them away u just gotta keep moving with them and eventually they fight and u jump in can stop them dead in there tracks before they reach there territory or siege your castle

[@kristianfabbri2608]

Funniest bannerlord video I’ve ever seen

[@user-is1wl1lb1x]

Fun fact: being a vassal/merc for a kingdom is actually REALLY GOOD because when the kingdom becomes fairly weakened and you have a couple fiefs you can actually start your own kingdom and for the fight to be EASY because the kingdom wont have a lot of castles and towns left.. (Battania)

[@brendensangster3571]

I ended up leaving batania after taking 3 towns and recieving none threw calladog in empire stockades where he belongs

[@ZarjkPC]

My current game has been nearly 8 years of constant war as a vassal of Battania. We beat up Vlandia, get declared on by Battania, peace deal Vlandia after losing a city and a castle from Vlandia. Empire realizes we'd be a good target and declares. We make peace with Battania, after striking hard (me using all of my influence to keep an army of 1300-1500 to besiege some castles and a cities so I can use more influence for a peace.) Then we beat up Empire, peace, Vlandia has declared war. Repeat.

[@rm3869]

I did that with Aserai after taking back Husn fulq from the Southern Empire they gave it to me and I left 😂

[@yeeyee8928]

@@Improvement_JourneyI’m fighting for my life currently, I found that if your extremely outnumbered it’s better to let the castle be besieged and once the assault starts, break in and help this way the ai sometimes doesn’t build siege and goes up the ladders and it’s pretty easy to defend.

[@yeeyee8928]

@@Improvement_JourneyThe best I did was 2000 vs 200 and came out on top

[@shadowsniper9542]

I always make my characters strong archers for this exact scenario. I can snipe heads as they come up the ladders/through the gate, with a barrel to restock arrows always nearby. If the melee troops don't get broken through immediately, I can bring down over a hundred during each siege battle before I even draw my sword.

[@user-ui3bv5td9t]

I have joined the Aserai and after conquering the half of Empir the Aserai lords started voting for declaring wars on many kingdoms without giving the towns and castles we just took from empir a time to Recover from seiges

[@user-cr4cj1fl8z]

Yeah need mods to fix that. Art of War and Dimplomacy should help with some of issues. Art of War has the options to make lords actually put soldiers in newly taken fiefs in order to protect them plus they dont siege random fiefs but go for the closest one so you actually gradualy expend borders or defend them not a city in the midle of the enemy teritory xD

[@graffl9862]

@@user-cr4cj1fl8z thank u for information, i find art of war very usefull for my campaign!

[@Chadius_Thundercock]

There should be a mod that makes the AI actually use their fucking infantry. God knows how many times I’ve had to take out entire Calvary charges by myself and slowly attack the archers because the AI always plants their infantry somehow so they do fuck all other than get kicked by ranged

[@peytonhemmelgarn4359]

Glad I’m not the only one reloading the mangonels 😂

[@christianwalser888]

My god so nice to hse them yourselves but i swear it takes the ai 4 minutes to load 1 shot because of the pathing

[@lizardking6135]

This was suggested to me after months, commited to a sturgian playthrough. My army of 900 just got surrounded by aserai army of 3000+ and i cant stop crying

[@Taliban.The.Hyperpower]

Muslim power, Alhamdulillah 😁

[@118042]

Try being a Battanian 😂 that's just Tuesday.

[@j.mtherandomguy8701]

@@Taliban.The.HyperpowerYou guys are so insecure about your religion to the point where you have to insert it into pretty much any discussion huh?🤡 Is that also why you follow 2 idiotic apologists that can’t even behave properly in debates and rely on dishonest deflections to save their asses? Also, the Aserai can’t be said to be Islamic, religion as a whole doesn’t exist in the game.

[@oinkytheink1228]

@@118042me drinking tea as I lose 2 cities and 1 town within an hour while I was off trading and war breaking out because of the other lords being ambitious

[@danielcheong7179]

HHHahahahahaha​@@Taliban.The.Hyperpower

[@markhughes2302]

I found myself super invested in this all the way to the end! My heart wept for you when I saw how it turned out!! 😂 I’m doing a Sturgian play through currently and I found a lot of this super relatable too. Stupid decisions to go to war with stronger kingdoms, when the armies are already bogged down and losing ground in existing wars. Also zero reward for single handedly conquering countless Towns and castles 😂 Great video, will definitely have a look at some of your other stuff 👍🏻👌🏻

[@allaltitudeproductions454]

see its funny because every time i start a new game and join a faction, that faction just blows, but everyone else is outstanding, and then when i start another session and join that other faction that was stomping my initial faction, they just shit the bed

[@djtidal8740]

I had the same experience, i even made them declare war and went into -250 influence

[@Perun_1]

I hate, when literally my kingdom is winning the war, but no! We must end the war before the end, where we could take even more castles and cities

[@alex2005z]

The AI isn't as fast at rebuilding it's army as the player. So they need time for that

[@def3ndr887]

Pretty much how most wars between fiefdoms and principalities work

[@FortuneFavorsNo.8]

Everytime i start a bannerlord campaign, The sturgians are always starting some shit with Someone and getting folded

[@jaytheawesome2l84]

On my destroy and conquer play through sturgia is always my first target

[@lucakloonen1298]

Battania though💀

[@Chrissy1995x]

Lmao love how you're fighting for your life day in day out defending a town and your brothers off getting married living the life

[@Tarusan]

For me sturgia works kinda nice. Controling half of the map then they starting to do stupid shit but its probly script for every kingdom

[@mrjayoareyes]

It's just that they have 0 functional archer options, so sieges tend to go slightly more... interesting from them.

[@rustyshacklford245]

Yeah no matter who you join soon as you control over a certain amount of the map basically everyone declares war on you constantly

[@YuriiTemnikov]

@@mrjayoareyes I don’t know about archers - I usually have 30-40 Sturgian archers in my squad and they quite contribute to the overall result. Their bows are certainly not as powerful as some other archers (in my opinion, they were given weak bows purely for balance - historically the Slavs had powerful composite bows) - but they more than make up for it with two quivers of arrows, excellent armor and the ability to deal well in close combat. And in a siege for the Sturgs, I simply place a group of heavy spearmen/axemen in front of the gate - and no one gets through them anywhere, especially with my help. And every time I wonder how the AI works for different people - for example, I always have the AI of maximum complexity and somehow I didn’t particularly notice that some kingdom was very stupid...

[@gerhardjanssen6822]

@@YuriiTemnikov sturgian bowmen are the worst bowmen in the game man, you're way better off getting some aserai imports

[@carlostrujillo9971]

@@YuriiTemnikovjust the way ai acts. Will travel half way across the map to patrol a friendly city while a town is being seiged and the other Army is being swarmed and captured. Just to then proceed to go to said city the other army was besieging and siege and get captured. It’s usually just me defending sieges and helping other armies 😅

[@creamurr]

One hour as a sturgian vassal and we're at war with 4 separate kingdoms declared by Ragnavad ofc and we have 4k strength

[@selimcardak7799]

At this point you should have declared independence 😂

[@maximumdisturbance]

just the funniest bannerlord viedeo i have seen so far🤣

[@nimbledick9869]

I like how all of your campaign family members no matter what faction you choose spawn with black skin and huge ginger afros on top of being at least 1 foot shorter than the player character even if you pick the lowest possible height for your character.

[@7bup425]

My kingdom was doing good... until everyone stopped paying tributes and declared war on us.

[@Immortal309story]

I had something similar, except I was sieging Epicrotea and my allies had marched a 1k army past me. Then, mere minutes later, a 500-strong Northern Empire Army caught me off guard, destroying my 300-strong party. If I hadn't been shot off my horse at the 10 min mark I would have won the battle. Instead, I injured/ended 420 of the 500 Northern Empire Army.

[@DCdabest]

Been fighting for Lucon lately and whilst he is pretty pants-on-head with where he sends his army he is a fairly generous guy. Probably helps his sister married my brother too lol.

[@Fullautomania]

bro held that castle like a champ 🏆

[@ironscalp484]

Omfg this is hilarious This exact shit has been my experience in every M&B playthrough i've ever done

[@ApexBovine]

I love joining the battanians only for them to immediately get into a 3 way war with the empire and sturgia and charge into a 800 v 1200 battle that cripples them for the rest of the game.

[@jeffwagner4522]

Always feels great when your down to the archers.

[@yungfiend6830]

Love this video reminds me of the old m&b warband videos from 2014. I remember begging for bannerlord to still be released then. Look at us now lol.

[@melkorstormcrown6939]

Ah man the bannerlord reddit posts. We would just comment “Bannerlord when” to every and all post

[@robfus]

sometimes i feel like this game Ia lord truly have a personality based on their trates. remember i had the same problem with Derethert, he had coward trate and in war he was not much aggressive, in fact i had only one fief. everything changed when his son comed to rule, we decleared war on Battania and wiped them, i also got the entire Battania kingdome basically as my fiefs more or less, then Sturgia fall and i let the others take those, they were to far from my others fiefs.

[@UserMum7512]

Finally, a youtube video that will bring my cpu to it's knees

[@jakubsarnowski9050]

literally it looks like whenever you join an empire (be it vassalage or mercenary contract), that empire will suddenly become braindead. one time I joined Vlandia which took a major part of western coast along with satellite cities of Western Empire, as soon I joined their ranks they started to declare wars like crazy, losing most of their previous conquered lands.

[@bsw4245]

actually, after you take a town, it is best to recruit the previous clan owner and make them as a vassal, because the AI really supported new faction member to the point they each had at least 1 town and 1 castle. it did helped me at the late game with Pethros, Comnos, and Osticos working for sturgia to conquer the remaining land, but the other counterpart of your kingdom would be your challenge

[@Frostknight231]

They must think you have plot armour

[@koffinNAILS]

My god im loveing this channel. Im high and laughing my ass of. Thanks

[@DecafSaxGuy]

I genuinely wish that this game could have proper shield walls. Would make sturgia really shine against the khuzait and Vlandia.

[@Treepuncher1211]

I love it cause I siege defense is my favorite thing in mount and blade. Outnumbered field battles can fuck off though

[@andreibirisu4280]

I am a STURGIAN.....I am a STURGIAN, I am a STURGIAN doctor Han!

[@Seymourjohnson69]

Dude I literally was about to pull my hair out dealing with the sturgian ai last night. While all my castles are under siege they just decide to take every army they got and go fight on a front on the other side of the map leaving my booty hole wide open

[@vikingshark2634]

I read the title was immediately like "Is it Sturgia? Is Sturgia the stupid kingdom?" Spoiler alert: It's Sturgia.

[@goktugonvermez8140]

Vikings are so dissappointed every time I tried to play Sturgia It is pain, As Vassal of Sturgia we have 7000-8000 power in total and we were about kick Monchug’s ass but we made peace 😡, then let’s tell another one We were at same power again Battania dropped 2000-3000, CURSE YOU VLANDIA opened war on us to get Caladog’s Back they are same power with us let’s predict What happened we made fucking peace with Battania instead of Vlandia then Monchug decleared war on us and recovered every land then We decleared war against Western Empire after that point I exited from game

[@matsmatsi]

the helmsdeep editing got me hard

[@Chadius_Thundercock]

Currently watching this video as a 1500 man army decided to walk past 5 towns just to siege the only fief I have with a garrison of 300. There’s nothing I can do

[@ahmadsherbeny5609]

The ending was so hilarious, thx for the video loved it :)

[@thorshammer8033]

Its funny because its just so true

[@nobodyimportant1600]

Thats why I never stay in castles and towns to defend. I travel, amass an army or a big party and take down what I can in regular battle since it is better chance of winning and if stuff goes to shi*, I can get new army fairly quickly.

[@boogaloobaloo]

See, if you had gone with Battania you wouldn't have had that problem because Caladog the brainlet would've taken that fief for himself...

[@servdchi11ed57]

Here’s what you do to win siege defenses against armies in the thousands while you have like 300 men in the defense when you can ambush and destroy ATLEAST the ram once you do you can retreat if you want or destroy every other piece of siege equipment they have then retreat when the battle starts all you have to do is man the ladders and you can use mangonel ammo to toss over the side and wipe out a massive group sometimes the game doesn’t let you ambush them but it’s rare/ I’ve only seen it happen like twice

[@tim-S272]

Usually you just have to wait a little bit for them to set up siege engines and the option to ambush opens up

[@brentkeegan4719]

Ambush them destroy the ram and any thing that can fire back. I noticed they send like 100 guys to defend in total so if you use straight archers you can line them up to shoot the enemy and you just destroy everything except one tower so when you do the siege they destroy the tower and you only have to defend one group of ladders

[@lucakloonen1298]

Im glad they fixed this issue that if they retreat that its instantly over instead of fighting the same army for like 10 times

[@razgriz245]

“Every ground the take more of them will fall my brothers hold my brothers fight my brothers die with there blades and axes in there hands ! THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD THEM THIS IS WHERE WE DIE!”

[@heyshitassss]

Thank god I chose Southern Empire who definitely doesn't dive into enemy heartland with 200 or less men just to "patrol" /s

[@Ryuko-T72]

Playing as a merc for sturgia rn and its kinda painful. We took most of the eastern half of the empire, Amprella, Myzea, Phyacon. Lost it all in 1 month. And then my allies lost all of the east to khuzaits

[@paintedsmile5282]

That one Imperial Veteran Archer at 8:15 watches you kill two Imerial Bucellarii and was like "Fuck this shit, I'm out" then just left. lol

[@anarchyjinflames]

I'm starting to think my merc contract with the sturgians was a bad move.

[@ivancarmo878]

I became a merc for Sturgia just to see if its AI is really that bad. Funniest moments of my life.

[@rylanlunnon9640]

2nd only to Battonia imo lmao.

[@alex2005z]

If its a merc contract you can just leave and join someone else and lose nothing except the little bit of influence you have.

[@MarztheStoic]

Applause 👏👏👏. Sturgia just can't get it right. Just like the real medieval Kievan Rus.

[@spuggidy]

1157 vs 557 is actually pretty good odds if you're defending in my experience

[@alex2005z]

With good units that's an easy win. You can even let the AI take control and they win

[@ezrahendog5837]

I like to Smith a short 2 handed axe for seiges.

[@vojtechslaby950]

Watching this, my anxiety showed up 🫠

[@masonhales]

After that pyrrhic siege the empire fell to ruin and conceded to the Sturgians.

[@matteoren6702]

Bro was so out Humberto that he had a 1-100 kdr😂

[@devon8438]

Love how we had to take a break and watch nathanos get married to yet another 7ft tall goth

[@stephanemartin3769]

fucking hell i'm living the same fucking situation with the sturgies xD

[@TellYouSomethinMan]

They should have a feature where you get some kinda reward when you put up such a defence like the enemy king offers you riches/his daughter's or something i mean guy is basically bannerlord leonidas and they dare put him in the dungeon like a common lord.

[@Mythryl12]

Still timely. I'm getting pretty tired of my Battanian king constantly wanting to declare war on the Khuzaits (since we now share a border after wiping out the Sturgians) all while the hungry Vlandians are just waiting for the chance to declare yet another war. Over...and over...and over...

[@sametdemirel708]

:D your edits are amazing :D

[@Fordemy]

Let me tell you that I fully share these feelings.

[@MrNetrizhul]

All I think was why carry spear and shield in those situations? loose them with G and get more movement speed.

[@Prodigal_sons]

They may have won the battle but the enemy side paid for every inch of ground they took in blood.

[@LordOfGilneas]

Man's the mountain.

[@danielcrowley5551]

I hope you see this. This is one of the best videos of bannerlord i have came across

[@Dalziel45]

2:1 is an easy defense even on Bannerlord difficulty though. It only gets shaky when you reach like 3.5x your defense troops. Auto-resolve still makes short work of the attackers for that ratio, but it gets a bit hard when you play it out in real-time.

[@TheOfficiaITristam]

Stop a 1k army only for the ai to gather that much again in 5 days.

[@Vadim15.-._]

this is soooo true lmao i also joined sturgia, and i'm actually at war against 4 nations at the same time

[@jjmask12]

The legend of sturgian protector

[@potatoherbie5657]

Y'know it's bad when i would consider harlaus and his constant mid war feasts over raganvads stupidity. I don't usually like keeping hero deaths on, but i like to get rid of him ASAP

[@SharedAcctWithFam]

Yea this game would be 10 out of 10 if your kingdom actually helped during wars instead of making you solo all the castles or when they do "help" they come to the castle your already sieging take over the siege so you cant say when to attack or build what you want, they ALWAYS build siege towers that blow up as soon as the battle starts so now theres no way onto the walls they lose hundreds of your men by just throwing them at the catalults then boom your army of 600 is now killed by a small garrison all bc the ai when your on their team are actually brain dead

[@stevekearney3233]

I’ve seen my own kingdom try to besiege a town with 3x troops

[@abombiii3010]

Most accurate siege in bannerlord

[@Stcddot]

I tried to save the sturgians but terrible leadership combined with terrible troops didn’t go well. Ironically they were the last kingdom I beat when I made my own empire. I sort of took care of all their attackers and for a while they left me alone.

[@mindbrand4504]

Everyone is formidable warrior when you only receive 25% damage from bots

[@kogashiwaalonzo4262]

Everytime you start a new game, the stupid kingdoms were randomized. For example, your old save has aserai as the stupid kingdom, then your new game has battania as the stupid kingdom.

[@danentakoto2701]

I usually avoid getting besieged but i love sieging.😊

[@SecretAgentBob1231]

Looks like to me there is not enough SHIELD WALLS🤣

[@nathanielleach326]

Bro my first play through I worked for Vlandia and I governess Sargot cause we recaptured it, I have about 600 men and most were completely upgraded, we got him with 2 armies of aserai armies with both having about 2000 men and when i finally got support I lost this game man😂😂

[@KingdomOfAces]

The vikings the best kingdom took over the whole map

[@justareguralcitizen9492]

Defenders always have advantage over attackers.

[@JustMineDE]

Had the same proplem... fighting like 10 times for the city and at the end the enemies split and only the 20 last mans where attacking my city 😂

[@ravynf9286]

I hate fighting sturgians because their pretty great anti-cav, and anti-infantry. AND their castles are just built completely different at level 3 walls. like "oh you broke through the first gate? Heres a gate where you'll become a porcupine with the amount of arrows in ya" Like how am I supposed to take a castle from them without a 10-1 advantage?

[@alex2005z]

Really easily actually. Just don't go trough the gate. Use the ladders

[@dominictognoli9859]

I’ve only had one play through where the sturgians didn’t get wrecked in their first war

[@numberzthegreat]

This is chefs kiss 🤣🤣🤣

[@Papyrus_in_a_HEV_Suit]

That first siege was pretty clutch

[@tawfikahmed.2526]

Yes this game is silly... Little form of control over many things even if you are a king... You can't tell your vassals.. Create an army and go do X.... You just have to do everything yourself..lol..so pisses a man off

[@alex2005z]

The AI will create armies by their own will if you just pass some policies to give them good amounts of influence

[@stevencouture1481]

RIP to the spearman u dropped a rock on in the gate scene 😂😢

[@BradLee208]

You could easily win that siege just destroy the siege engines in an ambush before the assault then simulate. 557 will easily wipe out even 2000 especially if you have good high tier troops in your party.

[@TheRockhound119]

This looks like gameplay from my kingdom that I made. Except in that situation I have to use 400 to 500 soldiers to kill sometimes 2500 man armies.

[@domesticcat1725]

Man, and i thought the swadians in warband were bad

[@-Ashram-]

I stopped playing my camp any further. I can actually beat any army but my kingdom just declared war because of the quest to 3 different factions that just smoke us...

[@bekturbektenov1707]

Must say, really great quality. Bests of luck.