Boating Made (TOO) Easy! - JonTron

[@JonTronShow]

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[@eleiy3894]

nice

[@bananaquote842]

The final comment.

[@gorillazfan6019]

It’s Papa Jontron

[@lucislumda247]

warface good

[@smeckledeckle6573]

ok then

[@KaeYoss]

"Hey, Jon, I heard you wanted to get a boating license!" "Yeah, I failed the test." "Oh, what did you do? Confuse port and starboard? Forget to raise the anchor?" "No, I didn't figure out who was behind the mutant bees." "what"

[@notinspectorgadget]

"shoulda brought the talking dog Jon."

[@razenoid1554]

Ruh ro

[@QuartzIsAnOxide]

And I would've gotten my license too if it wasn't for Cletus and his stupid werewolf boyfriend

[@theoneandonlygree1203]

The bees are what sunk him. The *god damn bees* Budum TSSS

[@Animanatee]

Really? the question behind the mutant bees was so easy!

[@ombrenightcores]

“Four people drowned, including the captain’s wife and twin daughters,” _“Oh hahaha, what a story, Julian,”_

[@sel8845]

The room reference, I like it 😂

[@jf1376]

Don't plan to much it might not come out right

[@allya814]

yes, as it also just makes me frustrated.

[@LabMatt]

First thing that came to mind. He ruined the phrase "what a story".

[@bossa2401]

Julian: who said it was just a story

[@dawsonshirt8994]

JonTron is like that one cousin you only get to see a few months at a time, but it’s ok because you are best friends

[@kindafunnyvoiceactor6438]

I understand this too well

[@RazputinAquatoColon3]

That makes sense

[@AustinH7]

Scott the woz is like that best friend you see every Sunday at church

[@mugtomato]

@@RazputinAquatoColon3 it does

[@powerstones7722]

But then becomes a living hell

[@theletsplayer9503]

"Real life situations" (Proceeds to throw you on a deserted island with genetically modified hornets)

[@realsentientpotato]

hey man they had to blow the whistle about my island somehow

[@vincenzo082]

It's real life for Monsanto

[@RRVCrinale]

They really shouldn't have had the seminar run by Leon S. Kennedy.

[@jooniperlynn]

Happens to the best of us... The worst of us get the Eldridge Horrors

[@WarCriminal2002]

@@RRVCrinale Still less dangerous then the Chris Redfield seminar. And dont get me started on the Alber Wesker one.

[@tnturnip]

This legit sounds like someone trying to trick people into reading their Scooby-doo boat fanfiction under the guise of a boat license exam

[@NerdStuffing]

I have a new life goal

[@ArtificialDjDAGX]

don't forget you also have to pay $40 to read said fanfiction.

[@marcar9marcar972]

Honestly this seems really cool. It’s either this or do a boring boating course, I’d rather do this

[@hayden.A0]

@@marcar9marcar972 I'm pretty sure an actual physical test on real water would probably be a better choice

[@RonaldoVODS]

@@hayden.A0 Who needs that lol. I started driving right after getting 500 hours in need for speed. And I'm better than average!

[@xmoore5659]

This man did in 4 hours what Spongebob could not do in over 20 years.

[@tbana2396]

Spongebob: (Crashes boat, causing mass injuries) Mrs. Puff: Oh, Spongebob. WHYYY!? Fred: My leg...

[@Owain9797]

Spongebob could never get past the mutant hornets

[@serenowsky1284]

Deep voiced: WHY SPONGEBOB, WHY

[@gemmayoutube]

Laws are different underwater :/

[@jimmilton6644]

420 heh

[@mpg01]

So now that Jon has his boating license, when will we see him race Phil Swift in a boating competition?

[@nnickplays9713]

I want ths

[@owenpopilek2587]

@@nnickplays9713 No, we NEED this.

[@monkeyman7048]

Yes lmao!

[@Stage_Puppet]

Oh boi,this must happen

[@SeroCloud]

but first he must build a boat...using flex seal, flex tape, and flex shot!

[@squifftopher]

Dude, it took me a year to realize the fucking boat license campaign mode ends in a CIA coverup.

[@generalalduin9548]

The kids all disappeared in the middle of the night under mysterious circumstances

[@easysneezy]

now replace 2 of them with Mulder and Scully and now you have a rejected episode of the x files.

[@disposable_income_andy]

i love using "campaign" like this is the next halo or call of duty instead of just "story." ok look, the boat licensing doesn't fuck around.

[@ryanheppel861]

“Four People Drowned, including the Captain’s wife and twin daughters.” “Haha, what a story Troy”

[@DrMcMuffins]

Guess this was written by Tommy Wiseau

[@mariogamefreak1]

Ryan Heppel I’m so lucky that I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much

[@Duater]

I guess we just don't care about the drowned fourth person?

[@aztecelotl]

Yeah, you can say that again

[@ThatDudeWithBoobs]

Anyway, how's your sailing life?

[@Ails1234]

Me: "I wish Jon would do more videos on games" *the monkey paw shrivels, closing one of its fingers*

[@VGJustice]

If that's what we can expect from monkey paw wishes, I'm okay with that.

[@10191927]

VGJustice - Yeah, ☝️😲 just don’t wish any dead relatives back to life via the monkeys paw, that may not end well.

[@_Snazzee_]

Creepshow?

[@cosmicstrawberry3546]

This was clever.

[@clickbait7396]

I hate myself for knowing this.

[@thesyndrome43]

I remember during my driving test when the instructor directed me to a secluded mansion and had to solve a whodunit murder. It turned out to be the groundskeeper, but unfortunately I had already failed the test because 5 hours earlier I hadn't check my mirrors properly when doing a 3-point turn. Luckily on my re-try I just had to deal with a zombie outbreak on a small fishing town

[@randallcohen3504]

Hey loser, now take the actual test, its not hard but you were so busy putting down what you don't know I doubt you learned enough to pass the test. You might have even learned that you don't need a license in NH for a small outboard. And you make fun of the game style training, but that kind of thing has been proven successful for low Intelect people like you.

[@SweetMargonade]

@@randallcohen3504 where do you get your crack?

[@Iso_Varvas]

@@SweetMargonade same bro

[@randallcohen3504]

@@SweetMargonade same place I got my boat, I bought it with the money I earned working, you should try it sometime.

[@crazyd4ve875]

@@randallcohen3504 You got a boat from a crack dealer?

[@Mr_Mignon]

You need to ask everyone with the same license as you if they remember the mutant bat bees. This way, you can tell who the real captains are and who is faking it.

[@Cyber_mentor1]

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[@alech9418]

"Realistic Scenarios" Yup those bat hornet hawks are awful scary.

[@caveopp7708]

wow 2020 times were ScAaArY

[@Gravewhisper]

I mean sure, genetic research could go a long way, but I highly doubt we'll be combining mammals, birds, and insects anywhere in the next 100 years. :D

[@patrickbuckley7259]

@@Gravewhisper I mean you'd think Cat + Jellyfish was an infeasible combination too, I think we'd all be suprised what eldritch abominations a sufficiently motivated geneticist might be able to cook up. Even the Geneticist themselves I'd wager.

[@thegremlin1207]

Just wait until they find those shark man hornets

[@Naterkix]

They _did_ say there was role-playing stuff too. I was hoping for some kind of Boat Wizard but I'm not the one who wrote the Official New Hampshire Boat Fan Fiction so what can ya do?

[@jakek5610]

This is the closest thing Jon has released to a gaming video in years.

[@tatotaytoman5934]

@@Ocaz Yeah best game

[@christianlundenburg607]

omg'

[@Bestialce2007]

Shhh! Don't give him ideas!

[@ARMOREDASIAN]

I discovered him last year and I think these and his movie reviews are the best. I NEED MORE MOVIE REVIEWS JON!!!!

[@sebastiantafoya3609]

@@ARMOREDASIAN bruh check his video game videos, takeshi, banjo bolts and nuts, dinocity, monster party, like seriously they are his best

[@ultraburstchara3662]

He did this to finally talk to the townspeople in that hercules game. Jon is now a sailor

[@anhilliator1]

DOO DOO DOO DOO~ I only talk to sailors.

[@BrendenTait8858]

Fucking deep call back man

[@d.n5287]

John is the sailor not Hercules *queue ear screeching dialogue tune*

[@blondebimbowannabe]

The NPC's were so mean in that game :// too realistic

[@1mariomaniac]

_dude I literally watched that like 25 minutes ago dafuq._ lol

[@skragboy]

They weren’t fucking kidding when they said “no time minimum”, I live in Canada and the online test I had to take (last night, until 1 am because I didn’t plan properly) not only had significantly worse art, but you had to study for at least 3 hours, and yet I still don’t remember a single thing I learned

[@FatGouf]

Souded like the last time i crammed for my finals.

[@galladegamerletsplays]

were there at least mutant bees?

[@thegremlin1207]

"4 people drowend" Looks like someone forgot their judgment at home, amirite?

[@connorvaughn6460]

?

[@yeonhokang4020]

They shouldn’t have drank so much beer

[@tetrafuse3096]

Drowend

[@soddingtic-tac9528]

*Mista intensifies

[@yeonhokang4020]

OH 12 oh no

[@tokutickler]

Theory: Originally, Jon was going to take a boat out to the lake and drop the computer in the water for his sponsorship video, but he was told that he needed a boating license.

[@zawarudo596]

Naw, he said he wanted to do something nice for his wife on her birthday and that's why. Whatever it is probably involved a boat.

[@nial1396]

@@zawarudo596 he wanted to drown her and their twin daughters

[@McBobtheruggaman]

@@nial1396 ...Frustrated

[@maninthemask6275]

Jon’s married?

[@WhiffleWaffles]

@@maninthemask6275 he recently got married. If you look at his first goop video, the gal he does the game with is whom he married.

[@skelemberry3810]

Next on JonTron: Jon learns how to pilot a space shuttle through an alien invasion scenario

[@UltimateShow860]

FINALLY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE THIRD MALKOVIC GUILTY GAMING PLEASURES!!!

[@jdg20]

Ender’s Game: hey I’ve seen this one

[@ThatoneGuy-ul7xx]

Made easy

[@tindekappa9047]

if made by the same people they'd be part alien part wizard part pirate

[@uncleblunts5]

No. Learning how to operate a forklift thru an alien invasion scenario. That makes more sense.

[@marcusbighouse]

Fun fact: I have renewed my boat license 2 times already and I've never heard of mutant flying experimental wasps... guess that's true that no matter how much you learn about something, there's always something new to learn.

[@gram.]

Then get boat, get naughty teen Latinas, spread wide n smash them

[@_badsine_]

"real life situations" Drunkenly approaches a US Navy vessel ON A FRESHWATER LAKE!

[@unncommonsense]

Naval Station Great Lakes

[@profgamble7012]

They probably found oil in the lake

[@TheCsel]

This hypothetical lake is the size of lake Michigan, I assume its a placeholder name for a Great Lake, and there have been US Naval vessels on the lake.

[@TheCsel]

The Naval vessel is probably part of the DOD mutant bee program.

[@slight7596]

But it’s a very *large* lake

[@cil923]

Role-playing situations? Instructor: Quick, you're encountering choppy water! Roll a d20 for initiative!

[@Tuvok_Shakur]

the guy who killed his family must have rolled a 1

[@cthulhumakesbadcontent3409]

I rolled an 18.

[@CygnusTheSilly]

Rolled a 17 Yes I really rolled a d20

[@rogerioerio2]

I think it's something like that * I gently accelerate the boat *

[@dilophosaurussk4333]

I got a 14.

[@HrHaakon]

> Cat's in the way > Jon gently lifts cat away, pets cat. See, Jon, this is why you're never going to be a proper e-thot.

[@drewfuscat]

Imagine the angry comments if Jon, in that one moment, did not pet the cat. Fame is a curse in some ways

[@Zanemob]

Why do I hear boss music? *Alinity, Yeeter of Cats*

[@felixalgebra4888]

didn't he say in the flextape video he was a prostitute?

[@nerdock4747]

Much like Alinity, streaming services would likely protect him. However, unlike Alinity, we would still want to be around and associated with him.

[@monsterzero9456]

Alinity: "just yoink that mothafucka"

[@jarodtank2611]

If he didn’t speedrun it he’d know that the mutant bat falcon tiger hornets were drones made to keep onlookers away from the boat stealing operation and also Troy and Julian almost died of hypothermia. -Someone who literally took this two days ago

[@sarafontanini7051]

....who the fuck has an army of mutant flying monsters and uses the to guard a boat stealing operation instead of world domination? these arelike the most weirdly prioritised villains ever. AND WHY DID CLETUS TELL THEM ABOUT THE MUTANTS IF HE WAS IN ON IT!? WOULDN'T HE NOT WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THE MUTANT BEES!?

[@jarodtank2611]

@@sarafontanini7051 I think you can choose who gets arrested along with Willard. Mia and Alexis are suspicious of some of the other people you meet including Cletus (that Jon didn't show) and whoever you choose turns out to be working with him because when Troy and Julian investigate the island they see someone else working with Willard but they can't see their face. Also they're not mutants, they're robots. The whole "mutant" thing was just a front to scare people away.

[@icata12345]

Is this for real? Do you really get a license or this is just a big meme and i have severe autism?

[@pies-of-pain2877]

It really IS a Scooby Doo episode...

[@piercebint6585]

I need to know if completing this means you're actually legally allowed to drive a boat. Drive? Is that the right word? Captain? Idk

[@JMotion]

Are you telling me I just watched 20 minutes of a man getting his boating license, and not one second of him actually out on the water like Phil Swift on a screen door.

[@cambodiantony]

Lmaaao

[@QuesoGr7]

I too was disappointed.

[@Mangos1021]

He will soon.

[@Cc-sr1zr]

Next video is of him riding the boat trust.

[@dravidianking1298]

So basically we saw more footage of someone operating a boat in a video about flex tape than in a video about boats.

[@stevifire2638]

“Real-life situations ✅” Apparently that involves people getting stranded on an island with mutant wasp, falcon, bat hybrids

[@kyanhluong]

At least teach them how to deal with getting lost on sea, hostile pirates, storm on sea and on broad medication

[@theoneandonlygree1203]

Don’t forget the bears. The mutant tiger hornets they put in the bears. You should run. Just fucking run. You don’t need to play this to know never to go to a failed genetics experiment site that should’ve been closed by the government hosting tiger hornet bear mutants along with a bat falcon variation.

[@Dylan-yy3rw]

Wait that hasn't happened to you?

[@jamesiyer4937]

Obviously man, I don't know what kind of real-life situations you've been in, but they definitely weren't real enough

[@easportsitsinthegame378]

You mean... that doesn’t happen to you?

[@cobaltprime9467]

I love how his cats were just watching like, “oh no what’s he doing today?”

[@Hadrows]

We need a video where Jontron cuts his boat in half to immediately repairs with flex tape

[@cardboardgod]

And then rides it on gator-infested waters.

[@Sam-eq6vs]

With Phil Swift

[@WinzzWorld]

That's it That's the real reason Jon did this Nobody can prove me wrong

[@leonardocortes8687]

we should start a petition for jontron to do a flex tape ad, so he can saw his boat in half.

[@doctorprofessoroblivious1282]

@@cardboardgod with his brand new boating licence.

[@blankpage9277]

Jontron has a wife and a cat now, I remember when he was just a boy with a bird.

[@justanotherLunny]

"You could've called his channel, Bird vs Games and no one would've argued with you!"

[@dreamiidust672]

@@justanotherLunny he lighted on our lives

[@LizTheSmallGirl]

He has a wife and cat now? Where's Jacque?

[@ScrewBallTheAlien]

WHEN DID OUR BOI GET MARRIED?

[@sheneilshirley6509]

He's married?!? What???

[@stomyed22]

man spongebob failed boating classes all the time but he really couldve just bought a 40$ visual novel

[@pillmosbie3688]

....Frustrated.

[@milkmatcha3698]

its not like he can even afford that either, his boss is a cheapskate.

[@gabcis3064]

@@milkmatcha3698 bro in a episode of spongebob squarepants where its stated that spongebob failed over a million times

[@deuceydee3506]

10:27 "Even Julian seems affected, okay? The heartless bastard that he is" I couldn't begin to explain why, but that line is cracking me the f*ck up

[@RubiksTheGamer]

We literally watched a man get his boating license and it was the most entertaining video I've seen this week.

[@kranglethecheeselord2602]

Agreed

[@7offee]

@Brandon Barbacovi same bro i wish other youtubers made me laugh like jontron does

[@crowsman]

Why can’t I say otherwise

[@sulaimanshabbir564]

If only we could watch him drive an actual boat

[@chrisnano1266]

if ur over 18 you dont need one

[@andrewwilliams8331]

Plot twist: He got his license, but he's never going to drive a boat because he is scared about the mutant bees.

[@EAMH_]

Plot Twist: The Mutant Bees got his license instead and drove a boat

[@melvTV]

imagine getting a government-issued license for completing a newgrounds-esque role play game

[@canadiangopnik7007]

shibeNOVA the future is now old man

[@Mrhellslayerz]

Oh, you want a license to drive a boat? Ok, first question: What do you do when you encounter *horrifying genetically mutated HORNETS!?*

[@billybobjoe198]

It's about money. All licensing is about money.

[@aronbartal]

Look mate the problem is I don't need to imagine it

[@doctoradventure413]

This is basically what I had to do to get car insurance

[@mackenzierockhill1857]

The Rok Kandi the course spoke of is actually a reference to the Kandi Won that capsized in New York in 2012 and killed 3 children. The scenario they described is almost word for word to some of the articles I found about the whole thing. I guess that was the real life situations they were mentioning. Just a fun fact for all of those curious :3

[@charlumau]

wtf

[@mclink99]

Excuse me. Uh, t-the fuck did you just say?

[@Voodoo_Robot]

If that was real…are the wasp bat mutant snakes real too?

[@bartholomewjenkins164]

I lost it at “Scooby-Doo mystery Newgrounds flash game”

[@justadude5868]

Same, that joke was perfectly timed 🤣🤣🤣

[@JoyOfCreativeService]

Me, just starting the video: *wHAT*

[@sophiaseth2769]

It's so true though

[@ChristianFrates1997]

Home of What What in the Robot.

[@heavenlything]

his wife and twins died in his boat? yeah okay, that was NOT an accident

[@goebbs]

Pretty sure the fourth death was the real father of the twins

[@soulreaper706]

Perfect story to lighten up the mood on a boat trip

[@superiormeh]

Cpt: *shsssssssh*

[@pizzatime7433]

What if okay just hear me out they survived and they escaped on another boat 😳 X files theme plays in the background

[@AttacMage]

You forgot the part where JONTRON's wives and twins died as well. collusion, for sure. He's working with those navy boat guys.

[@biscuitstix_]

Jon was the one who got that damn boat stuck in the Suez canal, wasn't he. Lot of good that game did.

[@PunkX2000]

I was literally coming here to make this joke!

[@biscuitstix_]

@@PunkX2000 Welcome, welcome, have a seat.

[@Jpeg.g]

@Bigg GIB'S fun house he’ll make a flex tape rope and pull his boat outta there!

[@biscuitstix_]

@Bigg GIB'S fun house Flex tape can fix anything, yo

[@biscuitstix_]

@Bigg GIB'S fun house mmmm idk about that one chief

[@Dcook85]

My favorite part about all of this is that you passed all of the actual boater safety and knowledge stuff, but you don't get your license until you "solve the mystery" in the game plot. Like what the actual F 🤣🤣.

[@rorkesdrift04]

"Real life situations" 5 min later: THE MUTANTS ARE AFTER US

[@plaguemarine7767]

are you not regularly chased by mutants or is that just me?

[@robertsides3626]

_90s X-Men animated series intro starts playing_

[@cutclover96]

don’t forget about the little bit of reaction time

[@javis88h]

"This role playing test will teach you how to deal with realistic problems." Also the test: "HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE TEENAGE MUTANT BAT BEES?!"

[@TheLichruler]

Dude, you haven't heard of boat shop owners generically modifying bees, falcons, and bats to make an aggressive hybrid to scare people away from their boats while exploring an abandoned island so they can steal the boats and illegally sell the parts? Happens all the time in the desert.

[@thatonelucariofan503]

Heroes in a jail cell. Er... I mean a hornet shell

[@ChompDude]

"Part bat, part falcon, part hornet." R E A L - L I F E S I T U A T I O N S

[@NonsensicalTrickster]

THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING THE WHOLE TIME.

[@blueblaze5160]

They also said Role Play Situations, I think

[@Houndrel46]

@@blueblaze5160 true tho you'd expect it to be role 0lay as in relevant to learning to boat not role Play like YOU'RE GETTING CHASES BY TIGER BAT HORNETS

[@reperfan4]

Don't forget the flying eggplants

[@NarwhalEntertainment]

@@reperfan4 1910 times were SCARRY

[@izzy8609]

Being a native New Hampshirite and watching jontron is like reading the lore before playing an rpg

[@stanz47]

Twins: Drowned Wife: Dead Horn: *Toot*

[@chlochlo_the_T_BAG]

Anakin Skywalker Damn it! i was gonna day that.

[@calcifer6142]

Hotel: Transylvania

[@fourdoorsmoresmores]

Phil Swift: I sawed this boat in half!

[@fiblin483]

Wakanda:forever

[@breakfastboi3344]

r/beatmetoit

[@sgtfluffy4262]

Theory: Jon did this so he could drive one of Phil's Flex Seal product boats

[@gigasay432]

BUT THATS JUST A THEORY

[@xen0goop526]

No

[@xen0goop526]

Stop that joke is getting old

[@electricenergy116]

Gigasay A GAY THEORY

[@wonderinghost2355]

Phil is the boat, after years of being around flex tape products that he mutated to morph into glue

[@connorbeith3232]

Since he's playing to get his license, I guess this is technically his first game review in years.

[@user-mv5gx3yr7z]

Its a whole ass walkthrough

[@mathiashorn1670]

90 it’s more like a let’s play in my opinion.

[@me4tgr1ndr]

@@mathiashorn1670 I miss his game grumps let's plays

[@ikazuchi-san5772]

its actually his first visual novel review

[@JohnDoe-wq5eu]

John: Just when I think I'm out they keep pulling me back in.

[@jackrosado746]

"This is like taking a driver's license test at Jack mckilsons house" - gex probably

[@RustleXer]

Do you mean Jack Nicholson?

[@smokeyjoe291]

Jack McKillson is his character from the shining

[@itriggerpeople4433]

What I learned: Don't drink alcohol while driving a boat because you will lose your wife and twin daughters and the only one to console you is *CLETUS.*

[@x-raybuffet3638]

Don't forget about the bee-bats!

[@CapnIronBeard]

And the mutants

[@lohiman55]

What I learned: people driving boats don't have to have a Fuuuuucking clue about what they're doing, so stay the hell outta the water

[@LightningSword13]

Cletus was evil though

[@itriggerpeople4433]

@@LightningSword13 THEY'RE ALL CRIMINALS

[@LegendKiller029]

Why would I pay $20 to play the new hit up and coming FPS Warface: Breakout when I can just pay $40 for the ultra realistic life simulator The Mystery of Kalkomey Isle

[@linnsterlingcurebeliefinad1725]

For 39 bucks I can just play I nuked my family.

[@volchnok179]

NH Boating Education: “Real life situations” Also NH Boating Education: “...Mutated Killer Hunter Hornets of Doom are chasing after your boat! What do you do?!”

[@Hesperell]

Hand it to 2020 for making mutated killer hunter hornets of doom a real-life situation

[@ThePa1riot]

"Now go fight that giant enemy crab."

[@garfoofian8507]

this is a realistic of new hampshire. come here before you mock our culture.

[@Lpoeser]

@@ThePa1riot Do you: a) Circle-strafe it while shooting the conviently placed explosive barrels? b) Do a barrel roll? c) Attack its weak point for massive damage?

[@intrepidhero]

What dose NH Boating Education know that we don't know?

[@locklear308]

No joke, this is a great example of government regulations at their finest. They make some ridiculous requirements or maybe even a semi-reasonable one, act like it's a big deal, tell you how serious it is, but then something like this as a test is completely acceptable lol You know I wouldn't be shocked if we found out that they never changed the test

[@matthewschincariol4619]

Guess what! They didn't change it

[@locklear308]

@@matthewschincariol4619 I'm not the slightest bit shocked. lol

[@charlumau]

@@matthewschincariol4619 you got to be kidding me

[@Sergio8191994]

Just got mine today! It's the same thing but now there is an app so you can play it on your phone too. Although it has the whole Scooby Doo Mystery thing there are other parts you have to read that explain stuff like life jackets requirements, equipment needed and stuff, It's actually not a bad course 😂, but it's still one of the easiest licenses I've ever gotten.

[@cortexius181]

Ilearntoboat: advertises the flash game with "real life situations" Also Ilearntoboat: what would you do if you encounter a mutant bat hornet in an island?

[@dilophosaurussk4333]

@Lassi Kinnunen As someone who has been on a boat 4 times in my life, i can confirm that airborne swarms of mutants are a daily problem.

[@kgpspyguy]

Get ye flask?

[@littlekuribohimposte]

@Lassi Kinnunen I mean it's a visual novel

[@wrongrabbit]

Not just mutant bat hornet... A swarm of mutant Eagle Bat Hornets!

[@DMurcielago]

Drive FULL SPEED WITHOUT ANY REGARD TO ANYTHING AROUND YOU. JUST GO. FULL THROTTLE WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. MAKE SURE THE RADIO IS NOT BROKEN.

[@jozinek876]

Honestly, whoever thought that a Scooby-Doo style quiz flash game was a good way to test people's boating knowledge is a legend.

[@fzndn-xvii]

I wonder how the meeting goes

[@jozinek876]

@@fzndn-xvii "so, you managed to safely escape the island of mutant wasps. Well, here's your license."

[@ssfbob456]

$10 says he just wanted to get his Scooby-Doo fanfic published.

[@chriso0015]

“Let’s split up gang”

[@mithmoonwalker]

ultra instinct shaggy: a mortal challenges me ultra instincy julian: boi

[@nozarashi4329]

I'm disappointed we didn't see him actually go drive a boat. He should really do that for the next video.

[@thomasstokes288]

Only if it's made of FlexTape or FlexGlue

[@StillNight77]

But he clearly didn't learn how to drive a boat.

[@MrRiddle0]

@@StillNight77 Yet it is an official test so he could

[@PointsofData]

@@MrRiddle0 it only SAYS its official. That doesnt mean the state HAS to accept this as "boating education".

[@Puffin_777]

@@thomasstokes288 With Phil Swift. God that would be good; just two old friends going out on flex tape/flex seal or flex paste boats.

[@OhNotThat]

13:47 I'm just imagining JonTron 5 days into a stupid ass Mystery Adventure movie that started off with him just trying to get a boating license to take his wife out on a lake. "How did I get here? on a mysterious island full of genetic experiments. I JUST WANTED A BOATING LICENSE"

[@NibiruOrigin]

"Don't get on a boat and drink." Then what's the point? US Navy boats aren't going to greet themselves.

[@Lymborium]

Lol sometimes in foreign ports sailors and marines are given orders to destroy anything that gets closer than like 100 meters lol Have fun

[@TheMightyBic]

@@Lymborium just overcompensate with patriotism. Just dont try it with Russia lmao

[@misanthropicservitorofmars2116]

Lymbo fishing the lakes and coasts of the United States obligates you to drunkenly greet the coast guard and navy patrol vessels.

[@cumulus1869]

Jon: I would like to apply for my boating license. Government-Approved Training Program: What do you do if you're being chased by mutant bat, bear, bees?

[@somniicaptor2686]

GO FULL SPEED

[@ah.neat.408]

Maybe it's preparing us for the mutants...

[@cooldude56g]

FLOOR IT! *correct answer noise*

[@chrism45]

@Fusion he probably skipped most of the boring questions. Did you guys learn about the mutant bees as well or was it other chimeras?

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Look both ways before crossing the river

[@ikazuchi-san5772]

**proceeds to get his boat piloting license after playing a visual novel**

[@king_aeron]

I read an audiobook for driving a car and now I have my license

[@zacharycc1]

It’s outstanding we don’t have more auto accidents than we do tbh.

[@lProN00bl]

That's some straight voyage of the mimi shit

[@jackieronaldwayerston6723]

8:04 That music in the background though. It -hits different- slaps.

[@re_nforce]

It's just royalty free music With attitude

[@walterw8223]

Coastguard: _-Did you see what happend?_ Witness: _-Yes, he seemed distracted, just before he crashed into the bay he yelled someting about "mutan bees"?_ Coastguard: _-Yes, that seems to happen quite often nowdays..._

[@WhiteWolfos]

This is a webcartoons comic but with a real license attached at the end.

[@_BBAGG_]

Looks like a visual novel to me, unless webcartoon comics are the same thing as visual novels, in that case sorry in advance

[@adrianparra4442]

I want a master boat man to react to this corse

[@adrianparra4442]

*course

[@erkdoc5]

Ah, the most important boating skill, LARPing a Scooby-Doo mystery.

[@algireaux1364]

Da fuck is L.A.R.P-ing?

[@totallynotzokix11_mc21]

@@algireaux1364 live action role playing

[@jackanddienesdivorcepapers5347]

You knew your profile pic collect like Casimir getting mine broken

[@superturkeylegs]

The accident at the 10 minute mark actually sounds like a boating accident that happened in Bear Lake, Utah. Circumstances weren't exactly the same, but of the 7 on the boat, 4 people died: a doctor, his 2 young daughters, and their teenage friend. The water was very cold and they capsized in the extremely rough conditions (70 mph winds and 6 foot waves). The group was in the 53 degree water for at least 3 hours while rescuers searched for them. It shook the whole state of Utah.

[@lynkcrafter8923]

I get this was exaggerated for the sake of comedy, but even then, HOW THE HELL IS THIS A CERTIFIED COURSE?!?!?!?!?

[@mushroomking8304]

I mean, the concept that you even need to have a licence to steer a small boat with a motor on a lake for an afternoon is pretty ridiculous. It is not like a plain where it is a life or death scenario, or a car where there are a whole bunch of rules. I mean bigger vessels, or faster ones could need a licence, sure. However, the thought that I may even need to actually get training in something like this is a joke. Certified so the state government can make more profit selling licences... That's my guess.

[@vanguard6937]

@@mushroomking8304 man those plains are dangerous, thats why i just take a plane and fly over them

[@Scie]

Mushroom King I recently got my my boating license for Missouri and it is needed if where you going anywhere with other boats. There are a good amount of rules and good things to know. Docking is a big problem with wind and current. Knowing when to move for other boats and when you stay on course. It is also good to know the signals and signs. The license does give you a lot of help that is definitely needed for safety of everyone else on the water. EDIT: for the small boats for the afternoon I can see it is weird and most likely not needed. A better solution would be a 5 minute “tutorial” for the boat would be enough

[@littleferrhis]

Mushroom King The plains are incredibly dangerous, the corn especially, it just sneaks up on you.

[@imaginekudryavka9485]

At the vocational school where I studied environmental care (before I turned my programming hobby into a career), we had a boating course. Above all, it was a fun time, but also really useful. Driving a boat is mostly quite easy, but there are certain skills that are really important to pick up, especially if you're boating in an archipelago like we were. Honestly, parking the boat in a small spot was the hardest part. But all that just requires experience. We didn't have or need any licenses. Anyone can just hop on a boat and drive it.

[@n.a.4292]

Fastforward 6 months: Jon is harpooning people in Central Park screaming "Titenic!"

[@drguineapig8755]

That is 100% what he should name his boat.

[@kranglethecheeselord2602]

I’m not sure this man should have a license I mean he’s gonna be too stuck on the mutants to be able to think straight while driving the boat

[@vgamesx1]

Can you blame him??? I had no idea there was a risk of mutant attacks from boating, glad I've stayed away from the open seas.

[@iplayr6jim362]

The mutants have invaded his mind and therefore cause poor judgement

[@psychogaming373]

Judgment?

[@zargle5924]

It's gonna impair his judgement

[@chiffoncakeandtea]

"Mutants can affect your judgment"

[@captaincaboose1011]

16:59 hey.....I have that exact radio.....and I love it thanks jon

[@rivellionn]

The fact that they DIDNT bleep the word "cunt" has me deeply concerned about the other stuff he was saying

[@spooksahoy5097]

N

[@toz_lmao]

@@spooksahoy5097 I

[@salt696]

@@toz_lmao G

[@kofi4599]

@@salt696 G

[@r_you_sl]

@@kofi4599 E

[@jeffreyh1778]

PREDICTION: Jon gets his boat license, saws a boat in half, FlexSeals it back together, and then drives it out on the water.

[@cooldude56g]

TO SHOW YOU THE POWER OF FLEX TAPE, I SAWED MY BOATING LICENSE IN HALF.

[@highkingrowan2521]

The gator infested water

[@dildonius]

And then the mutant hornet-bat-falcons came.....

[@CorundumDevil]

Is this the end if JonTron?!

[@DemonAxe-so8wi]

Alex Dusfraine find out in the next episode of dragon ball z

[@feIIas]

I’m sad that Jontron didn’t actually get footage of him getting a license and driving the flex seal flexboat

[@anne.andromeda]

If this licence is really valid we got to make him to chop a bout in 2 and fix it with flex tape

[@BreadEarthSociety]

My son...

[@ebofthechill8008]

Technically you don't need a list to drive two halves of a boat.

[@gracekim1998]

I was half expecting that🤣

[@Sakachi18]

Dear god guys. XD

[@neilclyde4839]

“I must remember the mutants!” Said Jon. “But Jon, you ARE the mutants” said the radio. And Jon was a Mutant.

[@gorblintown]

I never imagined you could get a boating license from a choose your own adventure.

[@marcar9marcar972]

I mean it seems to teach you some important stuff so...

[@benwebstr3477]

Do it 3 more times, and you'll get a pilots license

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

Has science gone too far?

[@dionjaywoollaston1349]

i just got my class three federal firearms license the other day from a choose your own adventure exam, the certificate looked great next to the one i got for working as a PI

[@bbrathizza2075]

Everyone wants Jon to film more of his life. Well here yah go, the reason he never uploads is because he sleeps for 4 months straight then wakes up and decides he was wants to drive a boat.

[@10.ikadekanandadwipayadnya83]

Well that And he got married

[@bbrathizza2075]

Nanda I Kadek good point good point

[@yikes710]

Damn I wish I were as optimistic as you. The reality is that there's no need to upload more than once every for months when you're rolling 2 minute ads for six figures lmao. Mans couldn't care about how much he uploads, just how much bread is coming through.

[@trashtrash2169]

and is there a problem with that? People act like wanting money to any degree is evil.

[@yikes710]

@@trashtrash2169 Nobody said there was a problem with money lol. He's just a hella lazy dude that has been doing the actual bare minimum lately. It's cool if it's that's the type of shit you like, but it doesn't change the fact that he's a lazy af and obviously doesn't have the same passion for KZbin he did years ago.

[@errortryagainlater4240]

I can't believe you paid $40 for a boat dating sim and it didn't even have any smut after all that erotic tension smh

[@Dedprotectr]

rip off eroge

[@nathanielleack4842]

Your pp looks like a femme funny valentine and I need the sauce

[@gageward2752]

Pays 40$ for a training course or a dating sim type game.. Nothing to help you or others learn of "The Implication"

[@errortryagainlater4240]

@@nathanielleack4842 it's Kirie from Junji Ito's Uzumaki manga. It's a horror that gets pretty intense tho so be aware of that

[@toamatau8785]

@@gageward2752 you're misunderstanding me bro.

[@jacob5828]

This story is literally a episode of goosebumps

[@kinofrosty]

"JonTron makes his boating licence tax deductible"

[@Dobcool]

Mia: "Four people horrifically drowned" Julian: "hahahaha, what a story Mark"

[@unncommonsense]

Cool Story Bro.

[@ChronoTriggerNu]

@@unncommonsense uncultured smh

[@2BChaos]

Mia: " Yeah, you can say that again."

[@silverstarlightproductions1292]

Best comment I have found yet! 😂

[@rokuken]

Very funny reference mate! This made my day! 🤣🤣🤣

[@benjiblondie5865]

"Ok Jon, we need you to do a promo for a solid 2 minutes" "Ok." *takes almost an entire minute to drive to a hill and drop a PC* *OH NO-*

[@anthonyrangel7239]

Only jon would drive and walk to the middle of butt fuck nowhere with a pc just for a bit

[@emilydixon3886]

Ngl, I watched the whole thing. I had to know where he was going with it!

[@magmaduke8512]

I have the same PC (or a similar one the generations looked the same till a while ago) and it actually hurt to see it roll down

[@mikehawk1673]

Magma Duke the thing that actually hurt me was seeing him drive off in a mini

[@nickelakon5369]

@@anthonyrangel7239 i think UberDanger went to sone underpass in the middle of nowhere and destroyed his old PC in his gta e review

[@superstarultra28]

One of his best videos ever. It's criminal how no one brings this vid up when talking about classic JonTron episodes.

[@plant7371]

I wouldn't call this ep classic. The last one I'd call classic is Disney Bootlegs.

[@JanTuts]

While out cruising on the water with your family, courtesy of your brand new boating licence: "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GOD-DAMNED MUTANT?!"

[@belowaverage_gaming6945]

Twins: dead. Wife: drowned. Horn: toot

[@miciso666]

tri va go :D

[@bluenation2119]

Hotel: Trivago

[@yoink297]

@@audreydelaughter4320 No

[@Bunny-zz7gu]

guards: i froze em im: the ice man

[@arctix6113]

*doot*

[@MemeMan42069]

Can we just talk about how they referred to this as "Real-life situations," because jfc I didn't know these genetic hybrid wasps existed.

[@asnailwithpizza9724]

What, you weren't aware of the mutant bee menace that haunts boaters? You've clearly never been out on the sea.

[@flameyboy4184]

They’re real and they’re *COMING FOR YOU*

[@TheLaughingReaper525]

clearly doesnt have sea legs

[@digstrememcdingus1463]

Well killer bees were bred to make more honey in warmer countries and look what they've become

[@studentsofdestruction6915]

Just on that one island in New Hampshire

[@Billypopfinger]

I LEGIT DID MY BOATING COURSE TODAY AND I WAS LIKE DAMN THIS COURSE IS VERY INVOLVED AND IN DEPTH AND HAS DIFFERENT ROUTES AND IM LOSING IT AT THE FACT THAT YOU MADE A VIDEO ABOUT IT LOOOOOL

[@CheeseYourself]

Police Force Training: - Learn the basics of firearm usage - Perform standard mobility and agility courses - Meet the ghost on Dismal Island - Understand how to deduce safety in unfamiliar locations

[@DezmondtheRingmaster]

What about the course about shooting minorities. Seems to be an important one

[@ThePa1riot]

@@DezmondtheRingmaster Slanderous and defaming.

[@PonkeyPoe]

@@ThePa1riot perhaps, but also very true.

[@ThePa1riot]

@@PonkeyPoe It is not true. Police are not trained to shoot minorities. They’re trained to shoot in defense of self and others. I should know, I got similar training in the Navy.

[@PonkeyPoe]

@@ThePa1riot Not trained directly, but I wonder why they shoot so many minorities who are unarmed, lying face-down, begging for their lives... Oh yeah, because they're a bunch of wannabe soldiers who go on a power trip as soon as they're handed a rifle.

[@solidskullz5736]

Congrats Jon you’re a sailor, I’m sure Hercules will be able to talk to you now

[@TacticalGlizzy]

Underated comment right here...

[@jamesquillen7965]

Love me a dated reference

[@dfkman]

Or Ryo from Shenmue

[@CathrineMacNiel]

But is he sailor enough to become a stroller?

[@SheepFace]

He's the son of ZUES!

[@obitouchihaswag6922]

Jon I seriously can’t believe you didn’t mention how they advertise that they have real life situations when it’s about being on an island with mutant wasps *raises eyebrows in mock skepticism*

[@apassionatenerd.3564]

I mean, that's basically what the whole video was

[@Bob.Roberts]

Hornet/Bat/Falcons, thank you very much. Cletus obviously genetically engineered them with moonshine and methamphetamines.

[@obitouchihaswag6922]

I’m so sorry bob Roberts I will never make that mistake again they are people too

[@alchemicmercury]

Its realistic now with those Asiatic death hornets about.

[@milktea7949]

petition for jontron to just play the entire boating lesson from start to finish and upload it to KZbin as a 5 hour video

[@crispyandspicy6813]

3 things you never want to happen while sailing run out of fuel run out of supplies run into a swarm of mutant bees

[@frenchwaffl]

what kind of fuel do you use on a sailboat

[@farkbett699]

@@frenchwaffl wind

[@somedudefromapharmacy]

If all fails, use oars or a leaf blower

[@joemann3251]

Run out of judgement

[@kriticalitylives]

@@frenchwaffl The will of God

[@requiem4ameme2]

This game was pretty tight, but I’m even more hyped for the upcoming sequel: _Boat Adventures 2 Many Gunwales: The Return of Mister Willard’s Revenge_

[@lordkimbo]

i feel like you should throw in a random "cleetus" into that name too.

[@sherlockkenway7328]

Electric boogaloo

[@auzziem8309]

The RETURN of his revenge? so he had taken revenge before...

[@quintindude1628]

Boat Adventures 3 Cleetus' Revenge

[@ultrabaltard1479]

“Shut up pigeon” Why is that so goddamn funny

[@articlight737]

Cuz it’s a seagull lol

[@Sondergarden]

Same energy as SILENCE PEASANT

[@atomsea03]

“I hope whoever I rent the boat from doesn’t see this, might get a little bit awkward” **continues to rapidly skip through the material**

[@hannahranit5548]

i have a boating license in florida, and while I feel like the course I took was a lot more qualified and actually based on boating safety, and not wild mutant hornets, I still feel like I have no idea how to actually safely drive a boat. Like, I have a NASBLA license that literally never expires, yet I have no idea how to drive a boat. If I got on the water right now, there would probably be multiple wives and twins drowning.

[@Robofrog100]

Most people with driving licenses don't know know how to drive, so it's fine.

[@XLightChanX]

is there no practical learning included?

[@joinsideke]

@@XLightChanX Yeah, weird, I'd think they make you get in an actual boat and do a course or something.

[@Sanctifires]

it's not hard at all. I used to drive one at 10 years old, needed no real trianing.

[@UnfinishedSwing]

Atta girl

[@swueakers2025]

JonTron: *driving boat* *starts looking around* "when do the mutant bat wasps show up"

[@ThePhantom4516]

I believe they were also part eagle or hawk or some shit

[@torreywhiting5402]

@@ThePhantom4516 Falcons*

[@calmgoodfire4662]

Y’all lucky in Arizona we have manticores and flying scorpions that act as sky piranhas

[@tarpulin8179]

@@calmgoodfire4662 wait what

[@LZARDKNG-dp8ys]

Calmgoodfire I just read this comment a few hours before I’m leaving to go to Arizona for a few days

[@Ninetailsmaster16]

Let it be known that Jontron LITERALLY goes the extra mile for his sponsors.

[@chickensseeall]

I got the joke

[@vanderburf9854]

It felt bad seeing him carrying his computer absolutely not where it belongs

[@sethsniper3073]

It's alright, it was an Alienware.

[@Ruddpocalypse]

Its annoying.

[@TemkaUwU]

@@Ruddpocalypse at least it's interesting

[@RosyRoad]

Jon yelling “Shut up, pigeon!” at a seagull is just beautiful! xD 🤣

[@HeyHCO]

I had to constantly remind myself that he was getting his boating license through this.

[@davlou5363]

this comment is funnier than the video!

[@Manganization]

If it's that easy to get, why is there a license in the first place?

[@dontmindme5879]

@@Manganization taxes. Uncle sam want his no matter what u do. I mean as easy as a driving test is I say the same. Lol just hop out there and figure it out 🤣

[@Manganization]

@ape escape I see.

[@Bertiboy]

Phil would be disappointed Jon. That boat isn’t sawed in half

[@matthewdykeman8149]

There wasn't enough damage.

[@fenrir-art4742]

no flex tape. we need tron tape.

[@Douce1337]

Jon never actually used his boating license because now he's too afraid of the falcon tiger bear hornets... :(

[@joshuadearwester7053]

*Bat

[@della2645]

@@joshuadearwester7053 they mutated again

[@clammaster4]

They try to scare ya so you don't boat out to Antarctica and see what's behind the Arctic wall. Did they ever find 'Nessy? Didn't think so.

[@tomogotchi9140]

Fun Fact: The thumbnail uses a screenshot of "Captain", who is a boat character on Thomas the Tank Engine. I refuse to believe Jon just googled "Thomas Boat Character" and took it, and WANT to believe he is a Thomas fan =P