Jordan Peterson: Guys who are too nice? Good luck.

Jordan Peterson talks about guys who are overly nice/agreeable & men who are inordinately disagreeable but have been socialized. ORDER Peterson's NEW book & audiobook Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for life amzn.to/33uho7H Australians click here for Beyond Order: amzn.to/3qfSxOI
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This video is from professor Peterson's: "2017 Personality 17: Biology and Traits: Agreeableness"
• 2017 Personality 17: ...
Other relevant links:
Personality analysis: www.understandmyself.com/
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Self Authoring: selfauthoring.com/
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Jordan Peterson's Twitter: / jordanbpeterson
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[@Jugc0006]

He was talking to me, it hit home. I have been an agreeable person for too long. I’ll start practicing speaking my mind. In a nice way. Wish me good luck.

[@ungobungo7986]

Progress?

[@GadwickTheWizened]

Me: Don't Jugc: Ok

[@Jugc0006]

So far it's going well. Haven't pissed anyone off

[@Jugc0006]

@@GadwickTheWizened lol

[@MrChristK]

I've had the same problem. A key rule to success is "always state your desires". Well, not always - you'll know when. But it's a healthy and non-violent way of integrating your shadow. You're just making yourself count without harming anyone.

[@spliffspiegel834]

I used to be super agreeable. Got tired of people taking advantage, especially family and friends. Started thinking about myself and doing more for me. They all distance themselves from me now. I am no longer useful to them as a walking mat. I've lost almost all relationships with people once I started respecting and loving myself more. It's strange.

[@filazkeita2272]

Thats the way to go, never regret it

[@tummas1980]

The same happend to me. Yes it is strange!

[@stefanopaolini1345]

Maybe you were normal and now are a prick. Whenever I hear someone complaining about everybody else, they always are the real problem.

[@EminoMeneko]

I see that as a positive change. :)

[@somebiker3459]

People don’t like it when say no, people REALLY don’t like it when you start to be a good thinker that can actually have multiples points view on many different subjects and see them for what they are instead of going on emotional reactions to everything in life

[@aheli]

Guys in general; good luck!

[@blandcranston5439]

It can be brutal. But pursue what YOU want with gusto. I personally want the ladies who can handle it directly. I've passed up many women who are beautiful on the outside.... because they were severely lacking on the inside. But. Finding the beautiful lady whos smart, and formidable... with a backbone who DOES communicate.... well.... she's the one who can take control, when important.... during life when you need to ease back...... or the funnest, in the sack... Be strong and hold YOUR self respect paramount. Mutually respect everyone. But when a woman isn't feeling it, bail like she's the one missing out. (Because "she IS" if you are a desirable partner) and if one idles with you too long.... and you get "friendzoned" look at how nice you were overall ..... and learn learn to bare your teeth PROPERLY..... BUT... bail on that female immediately. Part ways very kindly, but withdrawal from her life. She'll either see you a substantial time later, reminisce and end up sleeping with you, OR She'll contact you soon after and apologize profusely, saying she hopes to be your friend later on. But.... friend zone is for naively kind dudes. It's not a life sentence, but I requires drastic response. Look gents, ALWAYS respect ladies. But know when to show your teeth. Walk the line between nice, and intense... be a mystery. It's easy. Share very little.

[@blandcranston5439]

@FlexasAandM HAHAHA.... I get what you're saying..... but you're limited. Best of luck to ya. But I'm lean.... so. I guess thats why I can listen to Jordan Peterson and STILL pull ladies. But in all actually...... anyone who can't see what Jordan is saying......is pretty much.... a fool. And lacks understanding of our instincts, basic truths of all factors male and female biology.... AND.... can't see how SIMPLY he puts the philosophy of "ITS UP TO YOU, BE Formidable".... for people who NEED the wake up. Plus. You're a hack if you think something like "not listening to....." CAN'T help some people. If religion helps someone live a productive life.... GOOD for them. If believing in Jehovah helps someone life a productive life... GOOD for them. If SKINNY DIPPING IN 25 feet of urine from horses and then eating 40 strangers boogers a day, helps someone live a productive life... GOOD for them. F*** off with your s**t.

[@CasperInkyMagoo]

You get used to the game after a while.

[@JoaoCosta-ly1sw]

You have many advantages as a guy. Learn how to use them.

[@blandcranston5439]

@@JoaoCosta-ly1sw factual statement. Be a force. Know when to draw/sheath the sword. But if you draw, intend to kill. (Figuratively, f**ks)

[@sessi0000]

This video really hit me in a way I've never felt. I am a VERY agreeable person. I do it to avoid conflict, arguments, drama. I've done it my entire life; I'm now 31 and severely depressed. I've had anxiety since I was maybe 5. Agreeable people, well in my experience any way, is true to what Mr. Peterson was saying. We feel incredibly left behind. I personally feel the gap is longer than 2 years, I feel its about a decade at the moment. And it scares the absolute shit out of me because I've spent my entire life pleasing other people, I had no time for myself and now I'm lost. I don't know where I'm going and thats when the anxiety gets nuclear

[@asgertnt2017]

The first step is that you are aware of your situation. You got this king

[@zacharycroy6587]

I've been the same way my whole life. It is a step by step process to open up our honest, unagreeable side, and I believe we'll see that we know a lot more than we think once we step out of our agreeable ways

[@himakadabra]

Wishing you all the best brother! You got this!

[@williamroberts522]

I'm 31, and I feel the same way. You are not alone.

[@capitalt348]

Hang in there and take your time to figure it out. Be cautious to every moment you feel yourself being taken advantage of.

[@The482075]

So basically, you're saying, have balance. Don't be too agreeable, don't be too disagreeable. A very agreeable point of view. [I have edited the post due to feedback].

[@subrosian1234]

So you're saying kill all introverts?

[@The482075]

No. I am attempting to surmise what Jordan Peterson was saying. I might have been incorrect in my summation. Furthermore, I didn't say anything about killing introverts.

[@subrosian1234]

Okay, so then you're saying, kill all extroverts?

[@The482075]

Is this the Cathy Newman meme?

[@subrosian1234]

So you haven't sat there and... *sigh* I'm just, I'm just trying trying to work that out, I mean ....*sigh*

[@CajunCoyote88]

Video Title: How to repair a watch. Jordan Peterson: Here's how to spend your time wisely.

[@seyedsohrabfarjami6165]

so fucking true

[@shadowwalker4633]

Underrrated funny comment

[@A12C4]

Metaphorically speaking it make sense

[@Nolimitscomedy]

10/10 comment

[@nielsleuven]

True but most of the time I rather want to know how to spend my time wisely than how to repair my watch

[@cowboysfan782008]

I just love Jordan Peterson. He wants ppl to be their best and happy, he's an absolute wealth of knowledge, (and in many areas), and though he has self esteem and worth, his ego is probably one of the least important things on his own list, which is far too rare in this day and age!

[@bigdaddyplaton6684]

That video was very important to me because when I was a child my father used to threaten me and my mother with his aggressive temperament. So I became very agreeable and tried hard to make sure he doesn’t freak out. I became a very good analyst of situations and good in reading people, but I was never happy during adolescence because everything that I did, I did for others and I also didn’t know better because I didn’t know what I really want. I have always directed myself towards others. The understanding I made thanks to that video was really everything for me.

[@krabbykat9918]

so agreeable yet you deliberately put up a display picture that spells out licentiousness and chaos

[@jogendrajoshi7327]

Give me the source of your display picture

[@bigdaddyplaton6684]

@@krabbykat9918 thats supposed to be funny

[@martok2008]

@@krabbykat9918 "When I was a child"

[@mathisblair2798]

Similar background had a kind of tyrant father. Was taught to be obedient. Learned to rebel but later? 30 now and feeling like im just starting to break out into living a worth while life. I still struggle with passivity though. It's so hard because od my roots to know when to bare fangs, when to be selfish. Its very hard to love/take care of myself sometimes because of it. I push myself really hard.

[@Randude14]

JP is my internet dad lol.

[@rohansarangdhar8023]

Jake Paul?

[@siyabon_ga]

We're on the same boat. Never thought I'd have an internet dad. No everything he says is nice to the ear but has some crazy amount of necessity and truth to it.

[@grunt117]

Randude14 Japan?

[@edwardleas4792]

Same here

[@julla1416]

hahaha

[@MsLifeBreaker]

"Don't hit the kids with the truck more then necessary" dead

[@curiousmolar8104]

lol

[@EllisNthei]

I just love Jordan Peterson's humour and the way he puts things

[@tho207]

than*

[@MsLifeBreaker]

@@tho207 ty man. Internet needs more ppl like u!

[@tho207]

Elmar unexpected reaction. if it ain't sarcasm, same to you

[@theorjan1]

Jordan Peterson has made me realise my own flaws. I have always been disagreeable and cynical in a way, but also always had many friends. I have recently lost many friends, stopped being invited to things etc. Been stuck in my room alone for quite a while now. Until very recently I thought it was my friends' problem, not mine, but Jordan has made me realise that I might just be an asshole, and I find many of his videos hard to watch because he calls me out so perfectly and I cringe when thinking about my own behaviour. Anyways, I have been trying to improve recently after finding out it's my own fault, so wish me luck.

[@xomi_el]

Wish you the best. How are you now my friend? Also happy new year

[@gabri7613]

That's awsome. How are you now?

[@theorjan1]

@@xomi_el thank you both, it has actually gone pretty well, i apologised to my friends and now we hang out quite often. Losing many friends kinda humbled me so now i feel like im a much more pleasant person if that makes sense. Happy new year to the both of you!

[@xomi_el]

@@theorjan1 it happened to me too. I just try to fix my life and be a happy positive person. I am proud of you bro!!

[@boerga21]

The way you are reflecting on your own behavior and how it affects others and your relationships while also acknowledging that it might have been your own fault that caused you to be alone makes me think that you can't have been that much of an asshole to begin with. Happy new year. :)

[@TheDickPuller]

This is one of the most valuable Life Lessons anyone could ever view. All I personally can add, from life experience is; To yourself be true.

[@CronyneWARE]

"Try not to hit the kids over the head with the truck anymore than is absolutely neccessary." I love the implication here.

[@CronyneWARE]

That there is a certain amount of hitting the kids with the truck that you SHOULD do. Jokingly of course.

[@LuisCarlosAlvarezRebaza]

The most brilliant thing about it is that it´s absolutely true. Kids are cruel , if you allow them to bully you once you´ll be bullied the rest of your life, sometimes a truck in the head is the right thing to do.

[@CronyneWARE]

I mean to be fair, being struck with toy trucks and peace is just part and parcel of learning in a multicultural school. :^)

[@franka7655]

He wasn't joking. Learn how to use your aggression, and then learn how to control it to reduce suffering. That's his life message.

[@scarlettjones9311]

I remember JP saying in an interview he never smiles when he makes jokes. I think maybe because of the way he sounds, exactly like the talks the entire lecture make people not realize it’s a joke or something? Part of me thinks he is trying to do that to look smart, because he never shows weakness. If he were to make it obvious that he was trying to be humorous when he cracks these jokes, maybe once people might not laugh but see that he tried and failed. And he would be showing he was disconnected and unaware with how people truly feel about his attempt to be funny. So he just chooses to never show that he’s trying to be funny.

[@TheXxmadmanxxkkk]

"Speak softly and carry a big fuckin stick" - Theodore Roosevelt

[@TheXxmadmanxxkkk]

It's just for emphasis man, but as Bob Marley famously said: "never believe internet quotes".

[@delicheese6774]

You're spending too much time on the internet. Remember what Aristotle said: "The computer rots the mind".

[@Migantos9989]

I agree with that dude with the weird name, if you’re going to quote a great public figure, don’t add your own words

[@billboardbraggins1443]

Deli Cheese One of my favorite quotes from aristotle.

[@dissidentsaint1413]

No penis jokes yet? Shame on you internet people, : (

[@moneton8627]

This hit close to home! As a very agreeable person i have actually been trying to work on being more disagreeable lately, i actually had a discussion with my boss a couple of weeks ago when i was unhappy about the work situation and how she's treated me. It was very uncomfortable and i feel like i could have done more, but all in all i would say it's been healthy working on it. And i also feel like i've been getting more respect by doing it as well!

[@stevenm4225]

I learned about agreeableness in my last relationship. I did everything to make her happy and pretty much neglected myself, career. Now that that’s over I’m starting to do what I want and thankfully I’m still in that same career, kinda sort of, and on track just a little late.

[@shashianand250]

Girls are temporary

[@Enzo-gw7zf]

The internets father for the fatherless. This man must always be protected

[@falconpunch3810]

That's funny I've always said that KZbin is the father I've never had. Taught me to play music, dance, tie a tie, study tips, finances, etc.... You name it KZbin/the internet has it. Great educational resource.

[@mith2946]

If my father rambled on as much as him I'd probably shoot myself. You'd ask him if he wanted a sandwich or go play golf and he'd spend two hours analyzing you before he in any way answer the question. Two hours might be on the low side lol

[@alhassanali4829]

@@mith2946 He's literally giving a lecture. What do you want him to do, wrap it up in 3 minutes?

[@lets_wrapitup]

@@mith2946 well no that’s a dumb conclusion, he and the audience went there to learn about something. If you asked for a sandwich or wanted to play golf, in what way makes you think that he’d analyse you for it? There’s nothing to be analysed about eating sandwiches or playing golf, beyond surface level observations.

[@johnswoodgadgets9819]

Hehe!

[@rahmatbanua7009]

This MAN taught me more about myself than my entire 10 years In school

[@claude-alexandretrudeau1830]

Schools turn people into a factory workers. They don't care about anything else.

[@randomblueguy]

@Claude-Alexandre Trudeau Well schools aren’t made for you to learn about yourself so I wouldn’t really call it a downfall if it wasn’t even designed for that purpose. It’s like calling a bike bad because it can’t fly.

[@HondaFit-ot5ws]

@@randomblueguy But they kinda should be made for you to learn about yourself aswell

[@Trrippy_Shades]

Ok

[@1goal1dream21]

@@claude-alexandretrudeau1830 Just like how Peterson spent over a decade in college to become a factory worker

[@lashlarue7924]

“Try not to hit the other kids over the head with a truck any more than is absolutely necessary.” - message received and understood. Words to live by. 💡

[@timslot8875]

Agreed, my interactions with colleagues have improved dramatically once I stopped excessively hitting them over the head with a truck. Great advice :-)

[@chandranshu100]

Can you explain the message more...

[@lashlarue7924]

@@chandranshu100 Yes. You see, at times, it becomes absolutely necessary and proper to hit the other kids over their respective heads with a toy truck. However, superfluous hitting with said truck is detrimental to character and likely to earn the scowls of the other parents as well as generalized opprobrium. Hopefully this serves to better elucidate. 🧐

[@chandranshu100]

@@lashlarue7924 thanks

[@johnnymassacre]

How can anyone say a bad word about this guy. Seriously.

[@Fahrenheit4051]

Because even though he's a genius, he's not always right, and what he says should still be viewed with skepticism. I've seen tons of comments that just come across as incredibly sycophantic, and I find it a bit skeevy and disturbing. He recently stated that he's still not completely sold on the idea that men and women can work together in the workplace because of the problem of sexual harassment. To me that would be squandering a huge opportunity, both individually and economically, because of a relatively small risk. It also seems to run contrary to his normal philosophy of walking the fine line between chaos and order, i.e. just enough risk and uncertainty. Another point where I think he made a mistake was when he talked about "how the Nazis were more evil than you think", saying their motivation was mayhem more so than their Nazi ideals of racial purity and antisemitism, almost shifting the blame off of the ideological component. To be fair, he's also lectured a lot on how Nazis were driven by disgust.

[@5e1enium]

Yeah, he's great, but the idea that men and women can't work together is laughable.. Or to put it another way, you might as well ask 'can men work together'? Because war and conflict would suggest otherwise. Truth is: Some women can't work with men. Some women can't work with some men. Some men can't work with women, or some women. Some women can't work with some women and some men can't work with some men.. I can't imagine that someone like Peterson, who is usually so nuanced in his thinking, really believes such a simplistic theory to be true.

[@LFSPharaoh]

By being like Cathy Newman.

[@KevsUploads]

Johnny Massacre the ones who he's talking about

[@johnnymassacre]

5e1enium never did he say men can’t work with women.

[@SuperCarrotKing]

Basically he’s saying don’t SIMP

[@cerenb7909]

you should’ve known that before he told you. what’s wrong with you people

[@primekrunkergamer188]

@@cerenb7909 well thats what hes saying

[@libonexotyeni1213]

@@LostTumbs That’s mad woke.

[@mar10ssj1]

no shit

[@SuperCarrotKing]

@@cerenb7909 Sorry you didn't read the comment very well, I'm not implying that I SIMP or anyone should, I'm just being sarcastic 😉

[@sadville13]

The way he explains antisocial people is so good. It's nice having someone who can explain behaviours you don't understand on your own.

[@Cander617]

Man if only I had had teachers like Jordan when I was going through school, it's hard to learn from someone who has no passion for what there teaching. On the other hand when someone like Jordan talks he teaches with such passion that it makes you want to learn, because when you see someone passionate about something it's something to be admired.

[@TheGreatSalsaMan]

Your teachers should’ve stressed better grammar to you…

[@Cander617]

@@TheGreatSalsaMan Maybe and you should of been taught sometimes less is more, whatever lame grammar mistake I made looks better in front of you trying to look smart by being a smartass.. lol lame. I was saying something positive about a person and your comment is about my grammar.. 🤣

[@TheGreatSalsaMan]

@@Cander617 I’m just trying to help yet you continue to type sentences that would shame a 4th grader… Lol ok ya liek ya feel me bro like fo realz? (Better?)

[@jeff-hd9og]

@@TheGreatSalsaManit’s KZbin….

[@TheGreatSalsaMan]

@@jeff-hd9og no shit??? I thought this was twitter!!! 🙄🙄🙄

[@qc7511]

He's teaching me everything my dad never told me before.

[@susus1130]

the fked up thing is ur dad was never told that ether

[@paulalarcon7329]

Right, you can be really sure, that ur grandpa didn't told anything to ur father either

[@eyeofthepyramid2596]

Maybe you never asked

[@bosshoggjdkk5211]

Ive seen this response a number of times.Ive always wanted to know which of course you can always tell me to fuck off.Did you have a good relationship with your dad?Play ball with you or take interest in things you did. Not let you go wild while you were younger.Made you aware of how to behave around others?It doesnt have to be all or any of those but similar to those lessons if you can call them that

[@bosshoggjdkk5211]

@@eyeofthepyramid2596 you shouldnt have to ask your dad or either parent about life lessons or things of that natrue. Just like if you have older friends.I have a decent amount of older friends(I experience more in my life than most probably )a lot of them are great friends but they havent been able to teach me anything the opposite is actually the case.The ones who have taught me some things.You dont have to ask unless it something more personal of course.Same thing with my friends that are younger.I want to teach them anything that might benefit them or teach them shit that more than likely wont benefit them at least.

[@unapologeticskeptic4739]

She wants a educated, refined, cultured, barbarian who knows when to be civilized and when to be a barbarian. If you are too nice she is concerned you will not protect her or the kids if the situation warrants. There are times when you have to be a barbarian.

[@btchiaintkidding7837]

Yup, thats not a problem for me

[@Ahoooooooo]

Nah . All she wants is an obedient dog that can bring her money out of nowhere.

[@robsees2824]

@@Ahoooooooo yup thats what most ot them want.

[@unapologeticskeptic4739]

@@Ahoooooooo That is a given.

[@BoogalooBoy]

@@Dsadsasasad I want a nice, homely, tomboyish, country girl who don't go crawlin' to me if she needs somethin'.

[@darklight898]

This whole lecture summarizes and is equal to mbti,big 5 and marriage compatibility.... Love him... I wish we had such teachers in every disciplines

[@henrihopgood4562]

this man incredibly well spoken this hits home bless my man

[@creatorofdragon]

"Every face you see is either hostile or lying" true, true, true.....

[@DesudesChan]

These lectures are so powerful, because Peterson doesn't just know the different personality traits but he also talks about what causes them, what are the results of having them, how to improve them and how others are different. Listening to this man talk truly is life changing. I love this guy. Personally I'm way too agreeable, and it didn't dawn on me that precisely this might've been the reason why people always exploit me.

[@jacobaustin-sides2875]

Reality is perception so if you think everyone you see is lying then you're going to treat them that way and there's no point in living like that

[@Fanaz10]

@@jacobaustin-sides2875 why not?

[@jacobaustin-sides2875]

GorillionDollarExtreme cos thats a sad existence

[@mintmittens]

that part of the lecture hit a little too close to home bruh

[@gekopit]

Most motivational videos just "encourage" you to change your life by telling you "you can do it" or "it's all in your head". JP's videos make you think about all the shit you're doing wrong and how it actually affects your life in the long run. These are the real motivational videos.

[@matthewschmidt6190]

Honestly. They be like “You.... who are you? Thanks for coming to my ted talk”

[@ihsahnakerfeldt9280]

I hate empty feel-good motivation because there's little substance to actually work with

[@IIISWILIII]

This.

[@after_midnight9592]

"You have to start socializing at 4" Me at 36. "Yeah, about that..."

[@kevzenevze9893]

Be a good guy, not a nice guy. That’s it, there is no need to go to the other extreme and change your whole identity. Just make yourself respect, embrace your boundaries, and learn from those who have taken advantage of you so you won't fall into the same trap again. Be self-aware and believe in what you are worth. In other words, love yourself more than anything or anyone else.

[@theolynwarrender]

This really hit home

[@Rob46373]

I once was treated as shit from a girl, one of my first experience, I was way too nice with her and stucked in the friendzone for like almost 2 years, at a certain point she was honest with me, she told me she liked bad guys and I should be more an asshole an treat girls "bad" anyway I kept on torturing myself with her until I couldn't take it anymore, I started being an asshole with her and everyday less interested, she stalked me for months trying to get me back to worship her, I was nausated by her, I was tired, but after a long time I have seen her for a while as friends and I still see her sometimes with no interest, I decided that I would never be a girl doormat again but I also decided that I will never and never be a bad guy to get or impress a girl, I am my self and yes I am a nice guy, a proud nice guy with good manners, with a strong sense of respect and I want a woman that could love this, I want a woman that love me being nice or honestly I don't care, if you can't appreciate what I am I will move on and you can say bye bye.

[@Ajajajjddjd1917]

You are not perfect so you must achieve balance on that

[@operationblackbishop4785]

Man, it is not about being "bad" it is just about making her "comply". It is when you say "make me a coffee, babe" and she makes it for you. If you can do it being nice it is absolutely fine. The idea is to be a leader not a "bad guy asshole" or something like that. When she said "I like bad guys" she just meant "I want a guy who will tell me what to do, because, as a female, I have a huge black, dark chaos inside me, I am scared of unknown, please be assertive and calm down my chaos".

[@Ajajajjddjd1917]

@@operationblackbishop4785 true

[@meltingeinstein3012]

... and now you're called Danielle!

[@kleozane2781]

Operation Black Bishop nah fam. im pretty sure many girls like guys who treat them poorly

[@mon-6166]

JP: "usually at 25 that's when people have their long term careers up and running and have responsibilities and go to sleep early" Me, 23, watching this while eating cheetos at 3AM on the couch: *Uhhhh*

[@NilesBlackX]

Two years left, hurry

[@amex4453]

age is just a number, but yeah, get your ass to work.

[@tmrevenge]

U still got time

[@kmo2318]

No shame in that. Everyone moves at their own pace. Be nice to everyone, don't spend more than you have, and pay your bills. If people like you and you have good credit, you'll always be able to figure something out.

[@charles3000ify]

I turned 25 last month, guess my time has come...

[@halcyon_echo42]

Just starting to realize how easily I've been exploited and my time and effort has been taken from me simply because I don't want to rock the boat. That ends now.

[@axe2grind772]

Looking people dead in the eye and saying,” Absolutely not” is a great feeling. You’ll be amazed how saying those 2 words can now make most situations on your terms, not theirs.

[@flipwright1138]

Why are you being so disagreeable?

[@abhishekpujara7739]

Very eye opening , great upload

[@bitraker1797]

I'm so thankful that these talks are available on youtube. His messages improve me.

[@probablynotanagent5594]

I've watched these types of videos frequently over the past year and a half of bettering myself. If theres one nugget of info id suggest is this: Peterson is an empathetic genius and his words ring true for many. But dont take a generalized piece of advice as the specific facts of your own situation. Take the message for what it is and apply it to your life. Dont take your life and force the message to conform to it.

[@mannini007]

underrated comment

[@IronFreakV]

@@mannini007 VERY underrated, this was so spot on

[@aj-fatima-pearl]

Spot-on

[@harmoniesbyjosh]

true, this applies to all advice received

[@sakura142]

brilliant

[@deathstarresident]

If you like being nice and you like that about yourself, you don’t need to change yourself to find love / women. This is for people who are nice but don’t like that about themselves. They can’t help but be nice even in situations where they’d rather be rude. And tbh I’ve not met many men like that, but I did meet quite a lot of women who behaves like this

[@LKSKLS]

Well, conflict in life is inevitable. Peterson's advice is great, I'm learning that finding disagreement can be a positive experience, as it lets you develop your personality more and even learn something from the other person if your ears and eyes are open enough.

[@MackNcD]

Well if you normally aren’t constantly learning from other people your issue would be disagreeableness, or general stubborn/bull headedness. Agreeableness, and more specifically wholesome, self-honesty are not going to be obstacle between yourself and hearing people. I mean unless you take it to the extreme the other way and just change your mind to what the other person is saying no matter what, then of course you aren’t really listening because there’s no you there, there’s just an empty yes machine with no values or principles at your foundation, that help you distinguish your ideas if they are in the format of right and wrong.

[@padarousou]

It can also be a life-threatening experience as well. For example, If you try and be disagreeable with a highly aggressive violent individual, I'd like to see how that can become a positive experience

[@raphaelklijn6358]

I think this is one of the best lectures ever given on a university. Packed with insights, tools and life lessons, And presented with passion and eloquence by a man who wants to bring out the best in us all. Thanks for sharing!

[@gofishglobal7919]

"Every face they'll see is either hostile or lying."

[@thierrykortekaas6356]

Makes you feel sad...

[@gavinreid5387]

Only if you have not adequate discipline as a young child.

[@gregorteply9034]

Welcome to my everyday shit.

[@Trrippy_Shades]

We didn’t hear that thanks

[@Trrippy_Shades]

mijitman926 u won’t do shit ur soft as fuck

[@dr.h489]

I love the way he phrases his ideas, English is not my first language but he always enriches my vocabulary, respect ✊

[@thewraith5471]

I think I just found a new favorite channel I understand COMPLETELY what he's saying and he breaks it down so simple!!!

[@FloopyNupers]

Came out 5yrs ago. Couldn't have guessed I needed it most, then, now

[@UrbanKizBeast]

Socially desirable by four. Why does no one ever tell you this? Such breadth of wisdom it's incredible.

[@breadbowlpasta]

George S Joe Rogan has a guest on one of his podcasts that talks about this. If a kid isn't social by 4, they'll never be social. Crazy shit

[@dallaboo]

Steve Harageones Got a link, bruh?

[@TULIP.1689]

My parents (small town baby boomers) raised children this way. They just wanted to be able to take us places and not be completely embarrassed. Southerners call this “home training”. As an adult I’m kind of an introverted hermit but I have the ability to be social and polite when necessary.

[@Nerobyrne]

it is amazing how little humans know about being human. I think it is because almost all of it is subconscious.

[@Enterthemind1]

Kids aren't taught how to be sociable when their in school, teachers just push them together and hope that they like each another. This is why there is so many teens, young adults/adults with social anxiety these days. Some could say maybe it's the times were living in, I for one say it's both.

[@DynamitSepp]

JP: son of a bi Editor: imma stop you right there

[@philipk883]

I came for this comment.

[@tjitjo]

Worst thing about the vid really. That and the fact he just cuts from argument to argument with no natural breaks.

[@TheRadradrobot]

A lot here I can start work on for myself. Thank you for sharing.

[@Bi0pandemic]

9:20 How to better adapt yourself to life!!!! I'm an introvert who needs to SPEAK UP more in social settings! I'm also agreeable, so I need to start learning to be more DISAGREEABLE and EMBRACE conflict. I'm very conscientious, So I need to learn to RELAX and LET GO

[@johnniefortune1872]

I'm deeply grateful for your clarification of this aspect of life. Enlightening, thank you.

[@lukeboughner9873]

Johnnie Fortune Jordan Peterson didn't upload this just so u know

[@alexisverpakovskis6804]

Luke Boughner... You're right, he didn't. There's a certain chance that he watches his videos and reads the comments though; you know, self-actualization. For someone that lectures for a living, I think it would be pretty important to be able to gauge people's reactions - so Prof. Jordan Peterson himself might see this comment section sooner or later, who knows?...

[@lukeboughner9873]

Alexis Verpakovskis he has his own channel that's why they're all recorded, so this dude just re uploads the clips lol

[@alexisverpakovskis6804]

Luke Boughner Perfectly valid! But look at it from THIS angle: 1. People comment: some are fans, some are haters - this gets upvoted, that gets upvoted. Jordan Peterson's not a politician to be overly paranoid about it but he probably needs to know how people are responding to what he's saying. He's gonna come across different things in different comment sections. 2. He's a psychologist, it's his job to read into people's motivations. Amongst everybody that agrees, there will be a fair few that disagree: now let's see why. And if they present cogent arguments, conditions arise for a debate - and he's pretty much open to debate from what I can see. And for my money, he probably reads people's comments A LOT. So yeah, the guy's just re-uploaded content from the official channel, it's not his own material. But there's still a chance Prof. Peterson will come here sometime.

[@NorthGermanic]

Alexis Verpakovskis You are right. However, the chances are slim. There's an incredible amount of clips of Dr.Petersen on youtube and it seem to increase

[@puluzo]

Nice guys lose everywhere. Love, business, sport. You need to be little bit assertive and competitive.

[@mika274]

Competition is the main driving force in both the genders. Especially in the work place, there seems to be a desire to be more valuable than the next person. But too much of it can drive any one mad and also make you too sceptic of the people around you. I do think that a habit of relaxed competition really helps especially if the nature of the work is highly stressful

[@JK-vc7ie]

Serhan Ozulup Ultimately you are just competing against yourself. Work hard to be better than you are/were. Some people will be better at some things no matter what you so. Some people will be worse no matter what they do. Just be disciplined and work hard. Things will sort themselves out. We are not lobsters or bears.

[@Jimmy-zu2ks]

I'd say nice guys are the real winners. They don't feed themselves into the harsh reality that we're all trapped in. They're the kind of people that have the most "light" in them.

[@98luk45]

Fucking hate people who call themselves nice guys. You're either honest or you're not. I don't trust people who claim to be nice. Most of these "nice" guys (and girls) are manipulative fuckwads who create bullshit lies to cover their own insecurities. All it takes is a little stress to see their true colors, and I can tell you, it's not fucking pretty. They're selfish and vile creatures. People who call themselves nice are delusional narcs (I'm sure those "nice" people are already thinking of bashing my face in from saying this).

[@DutchGuyMike]

@@98luk45 I would consider myself (before) a very nice guy, but if someone is actually intelligent and self-critical, they realize that being nice is a point of view and that those that openly say it are usually looking for (instant) gratification, those that ARE nice in the sense of the word and say that they doubt that they actually "nice" means that they are more balanced and humble. And being humble, as compared to kindness, is a massive difference. Humbleness is one of the biggest factors when you desire any relationship to be successful. As I interacted with people in my years, especially in my teens, people who say they are nice are indeed quite manipulative - but it isn't necessarily about insecurities. That is just failing to understand the true drive behind "such people's" motives and lacking insight into the diverse human psyches that drives this natural behavior, whether you agree on it or naught. This is often caused by society's pressure (especially on men) and the general "group behavior" that exists at the current time, as this behavior always changes throughout the time as society changes, often based around technology & religion.

[@luisvidal6848]

its like whatching a puzzle being assembled piece by piece! his hability on making sense...😍

[@alsousa7720]

Simplified brilliance . Love this Man!

[@I967]

I wish I knew all this when I was 18, not now at 29.

[@esnutaliah]

Same. Psychology should be a standard subject at school! Everyone would benefit from understanding each other and then relating to each other with proper knowledge of how to and what's going on.

[@johnbahl234]

I'm 28 and my parents raised me as libertarian. This is what you missed. "God you're fucking stupid, what the hell is wrong with you, thank God you don't run the world, haha ok,. So you think you are better? Why can't women do it? Government needs to fix it. I can't even talk to you, can you tell him to leave, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE,. This is why men shouldn't run things,. those are some of the things people have said to me in my younger years when I disagreed with them.

[@mariab.774]

I967 Come on! You're young, full of possibilities. Just start today

[@Asskicker14]

SAME HERE MAN

[@thephilosopher7173]

@@Asskicker14 Heres the thing tho, do you think you'd actually would have been able to listen to something like this at a time when you're first experiencing independence? In the type of world we live in lessons are learned later in life because of lack of understanding and reasoning of previous generations. I think its perfect timing for us nowadays, because we can make that change in our children. Something I think he was revolving around.

[@Hero101010]

10:21 "Evil son of a bee"

[@bluepoint33]

also at 8:43 :D

[@elias_xp95]

I pissed myself when the first one happened 😂

[@robertsonson7788]

So disagreeables are "evil so of a b..."? I disagree on this one

[@rektkagebrother9397]

if you are so disagreeable to an extreme degree, then yes.

[@alphacuremother1019]

It's hip to fuck bees of course even in psychology

[@neelyohara8317]

Wow great video always enlightening

[@trentpendygraft339]

I think I fell into the group of disagreeable people who got alienated. I started trying to fix it around the start of high school. What I’ve found is this: fix your personality, and if things still aren’t working, get the hell out and find somewhere with completely new people. What I found was that when I got to college, people liked me, but the people I knew in high school were never going to come around

[@idothewiggle]

Man that hits hard

[@CooLin1stPlace]

Listening to this guy every week is so beneficial.

[@shashu8205]

Wow, truly brilliant and insightful.

[@bandiceet]

I grew up always being told (mostly by my mother) that "People like nice people", "be careful, you might offend someone saying that...". So I spent far too much of my life being taken advantage of, not necessarily everyone who did so was bad, but they just knew how to push my buttons to get me to do things so they didn't have too. I was suffering for it, in sever negative downward spiral thinking patterns, which had flow on effects. It wasn't until I was nearly 40 before I learnt how to put limits on my Niceness, to make the boundaries, to (as Mr Peterson puts it) Negotiate for myself. Ye Gods! Hasn't my life improved because of it! Even if mostly I am not longer in depressive thinking patterns any more. I am enjoying life a lot more. I now seem to have more direction in my life.

[@leigh-jeanterblanche5833]

And the problem is , the people that are taking advantage of you don't know they are doing it since being so agreeable has mended their minds into thinking that you are oky with the things they ask of you.

[@s.i2898]

People will push until we push back, people have no respect for kindness. I grew up the same way but I’m changing.

[@shsjsjq1724]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Would you mind sharing a little bit more about how you put your boundaries? I would love to learn and doe the same

[@1greatfinkerofrtimes381]

when he describes traits I'm either high or low in and then says what these kinda people are like, he's always spot on. It blows my mind!!!

[@myusernameissoobnoxiouslyl9407]

It's amazing that with every example he laid out I could imagine scenarios in my head about myself in the past and what I've seen in the world.

[@TheRezaraki]

wow! every word was useful and I needed it right now!

[@johannesbohm8463]

This is pure gold.

[@user-60267]

I watch this every couple of months and there's something new for me to learn every time.

[@TheErow44]

So refreshing to listen to him speak wisdom, sad that so many demonize him without even hearing this part of him

[@michakrawcow1265]

TheErow44 so you're saying you support a Nazi?

[@mikedaskalakis5006]

@@michakrawcow1265 wtf

[@evanmacdonald9632]

Mike Daskalakis It’s a joke.

[@austinlodel3103]

Wow this guy really hit it on the nail and has made me learn a lot about myself I’m definitely an agreeable person and now I know what I need to work on.

[@RSProduxx]

Very interesting. Thanks

[@theruud2526]

I feel attacked. But I agree 100% with everything he just said. Wait.

[@215rsudhir9]

😂

[@danielblom391]

Never before have I been so offended by something I absolutely agree with

[@Presto_entertainment]

😂😂😂

[@andrejm3069]

There's nothing to be offended about, he is just stating facts based on various observations.

[@andrewgoldin6905]

Lol

[@douglerwilco7305]

My wife and I are very agreeable people in social situations. Not so much when it comes to our careers. The hardest question to answer each day is "Whats for dinner?".

[@belowzero7411]

lmao hahahahahahha

[@rodneyc3202]

I’m guilty of this

[@matinsahab2189]

that was a hell of a lecture

[@iamryan_inBits]

Hits the nail on the head when is comes to conflict between two people on opposite ends of the openness scale. Been there, done that.

[@ivanzdravkov6923]

I've just realized I've spent my entire adult life migrating from Agreeable to Disagreeable, and it's been the best journey of my life. I'm more confident, more attractive, happier, everything! This was really eye opening.

[@mith2946]

You must not have already found your family and people yet. Because once you do this disagreeable shit goes out the window if you are smart. Maybe with people in general, fine, but not with family, good family. Or you'll come back the other way around.

[@i-zdravkov]

​@@mith2946 Yeah, I have and yeah you are right. I'm a softie, but can't afford to be perceived as one. A delicate balance.

[@sdefonta]

And I bet you are real lonely

[@padarousou]

Thats tAgreeableness is a personality trait which exists on a scale, and most people all right in the middle between agreeable and disagreeable, its not something you can really control

[@spiritualempress6691]

I love people with different viewpoints cuz you always learn!

[@n.e.d2064]

Was helpful and interesting. Thank you Jordan Peterson and Essential Truth.

[@SightSeeker22]

This is fantastic, as far as agreeableness I think I've been like this in the past as an infant but have since learned to bargain on my behalf more, although I think it's something I could still improve on. Thank you Dr. Peterson.

[@kidathlete]

The title of the video hardly relates to the subject matter, did anyone else catch that?

[@disparuetderetour5230]

Actually, it's related, guys who are too nice are too agreeable.

[@hotdog5927]

I think you just dont understand kidathlete

[@diogofarias1822]

He is pretty much talking about any person, not necessarily about guys.

[@typhlosionmaster6832]

90% of the titles of Jordan Peterson videos are misleading. I think that is intentional. The uploader wants to use Jordan Peterson’s lectures to further their own world view.

[@kidathlete]

The majority of the video discusses agreeableness, rather than "nice/agreeable" men specifically. The title of the video is meant to briefly outline the core concept(s) discussed.

[@taqqiraja2722]

Man he is awesome. One of the best mentors out there

[@Slain2012]

great advice

[@csl9495]

My thoughts have been so aligned with this guy. He really speaks to me. Im a very agreeable person, and it has biten me.

[@patrickgunning6923]

What a captivating lecturer. Doesn't matter how interested you may in psychology, he presents the information masterfully and with genuine intrigue

[@martinsapsitis4292]

Profound, thanks.

[@Miltongoldst4R]

I f**king needed this!! Thank you.

[@Lemrod83]

i don't agree that i have a disagreeable personality!

[@frankmcnally5993]

Nietzsche you arrogant son of a bitch

[@jamegumm]

Cathy Newman disliked this video

[@jesusstaccato8448]

So you're saying she loved it?

[@rubedog961]

Tell me about the lobsters

[@IDieAlotAlot]

Obviously she is a mum with a full time job...this questions her mothering skill`s

[@dishmanw]

Cathy Newman never saw it, but she still disliked it.

[@dishmanw]

She's saying "lobsters".

[@Michael___Smith]

This hit me like a rock.

[@benny_lost_it4214]

It's truly incredible to listen to Jordan Peterson. I've never seen anyone with his intellect, it truly blows me away every time I hear him.

[@joshja95]

Wow Dr. Peterson said men tend to stop drinking and focus on there career when they get to 25 and I find myself now 25.5 and I’ve spent the past 6 months searching for meaning and stumbling across his videos, bought the self authoring program and have layed out my ideal future in the process

[@brunolevi2661]

This edit is one of the best I've seen from Jordan. And I've seen a lot hahaha

[@jensen333]

Bruno Levi I seen so much i know he will throw a tackle to post modernism in the first 5 min of most of his videos.

[@brunolevi2661]

Kaatins my understand myself was 98 disagreeable haha

[@spatulasnout]

Roughly speaking.

[@strelnikoff7]

Yeah, but why cutting the curse words?

[@liamgillan6108]

Interesting lecture. Important for Agreeable people not to misconstrue making positive changes with being disagreeable however. Disagreeable is on the far end, seeking to not agree.

[@adyplayzb3]

Having listened to this man, I find myself disagreeing about generally agreeing with people who tend to disagree, even after they have reluctantly agreed about something they later disagree with.

[@Dusk-MTG]

I have no idea how YT decided to recommended me this, but it was definitely appropriate for me

[@norman8823]

He's going through the entire OCEAN model: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism

[@JoshCaiLovzu]

Criminality and creativity go hand in hand. Wow.

[@JoolsUK]

I've spent years analysing my own processes, direction and attitude. I think many folk do. Peterson here lays it out in easy form, develop yourself, you are likely in one or the other bracket mentioned.

[@allninelivez7631]

I was very agreeable. I learned to say to "no" to people. I learned to a have a mind of myself and not follow anyone only when I need to.

[@zxc9884761]

Rewatching this second time really bring out the meaning of the subject!

[@sethedward]

Being agreeable has the benefit of making friends who may or may not be agreeable themselves. If they are disagreeable they in turn can help you move up in a career. However, you do need to avoid being a pushover. If you push back a few times you’ll get enough respect in order to avoid being taken advantage of.

[@lecomtedeneuch9994]

I've learned that soon enough in my life. Friends that I cared about, once I had a bad time, they left me to rot. My ex left me out of nowhere by text and ghosted me and disappeared. I can't even trust people or make new friends at this point, I'm just broken and I've tried for years to fix myself but it takes a long time....

[@adarsh_kandari1399]

Sad to hear that brother just keep working on yourself you will get good friends

[@vandals4873]

I love the way this dude explains his thoughts.

[@ddanbeatz186]

Vandals I like how you put that “his thoughts “

[@NoName-bx2ft]

Vandalism motherf-----