Jordan Peterson on romantic relationship ( 2 hours )

[@docsgearheadgaming2503]

I’m at serious risk of losing my family because of being so blind. Sat on a computer for 10 years playing games, thinking I didn’t need to change I was so introverted I didn’t realize how it was affecting my wifey and daughter. Jordan has made me realize so much in such a short time. And this road to hell is very real. And I pray it’s not to late to save us, but this road through hell will be long and hard with much reflection and growth. I can never apologize or make up for the uselessness to my family all I can do now is change myself as a man and start setting goals, I’ve drifted through life for 35 years and am now paying the full price for doing so. I hope there’s still time to fix the wrong I’ve created. And I owe every bit of this realization to Jordan. I just hope with this new found knowledge I’m strong enough to pull up my socks and make my family proud. It’s a savage realization, since watching Jordan for help, I’ve felt this unbearable pain and guilt for doing nothing for so long. And I’m using it to fuel my change, but man this is a feeling I would not wish upon my worst enemy. All I can do is try and hope for forgiveness one I prove my worth.

[@bryantvencill430]

I am going to pray for you man

[@lillysart24]

It takes real courage to admit this. And I admire your openness. I pray for wisdom, openness, forgiveness and healing ❤

[@mattmatzner8749]

Fight like hell. Move every day. Be the first out of bed. Workout before the sun is up, even if for only 10 minutes. Do a few tasks and be out the door with a smile and unapologetic energy. I waited too long now I’m living the life you feared. I only fell into it for 3-6 months but that’s all it takes with a great woman. Count your blessings and use them to motivate yourself for change. Throw away the video games, I mean that literally. Or put them in a box in the garage. Don’t explain yourself either, it will come off as approval seeking which is unattractive, just do it and if asked about it say you’re bored of them and want to try new things and leave it at that. Don’t expand on it, just show with your actions how you’re changing, that’s all that bloody matters anyhow. Talking will just get you in trouble. Walk the walk friend. Please follow my advice, what you fear is as bad or worse than you think it is. Go win your life back.

[@stevegeorge3903]

Do it because the rest of us need you to contribute to your fellows. Even if you don't get your family back you will have attained a goal that will lead to at least their admiration.

[@tanyabaughn3639]

❤️

[@krystiesolfyre5340]

Thank you Jordan for being the father figure I desperately needed growing up. I’m making far wiser and healthier decisions since listening to you and I thank God everyday for that.

[@SagaOasis]

Every video you make is a learning experience. Brilliant work!

[@inspirationabode]

Thank you for your appreciation ✨✌️

[@tyler6god]

27:37 I understand why Jordan answers this question on "Finding the Love of Your Life" this way, but... Well, truthfully, I don't think he fully understands exactly what people, especially those who genuinely put effort and thought into their own personal growth, mean when they ask this question. For me, when I take a moment to consider what I really want answered here, it's "How can I find someone who possesses the non-negotiable qualities and values that compliment mine, and who I can have a real romantic connection with at a time where we are both mature enough to not f*ck it up" Edit: Fixed a typo

[@lucabiolzi1767]

From 1:00:05 to 1:01:30 . So disarmingly true... From 1:13:48 to 1:14:37 . So painfully true either.

[@GregoryRadue]

I have a tattoo that say seek… ask…. Knock and I never thought in my intimate relationship too. Was always thought to just make them happy and they will make you, but never explained that asking for and discussing what makes you happy is needed first. Thank you

[@melissachinnici]

His older lectures are hilarious but spot on

[@mr.hughes5808]

Time to put in the work. Thank you for this compilation.

[@inspirationabode]

I am glad you found this helpful 🙂

[@BarbaraLinton-k1c]

Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can't stop thinking about him, l've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I'm frustrated, I don't see my life as anyone else. I've done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can't, I don't know why I'm saying this here, I really miss him and just can't stop thinking about him.

[@barbaraandrews5]

I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about two years ago, but I could not let him go, so I had to do all I could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back, now we are back together, and I must say I am enjoying every moment...

[@BarbaraLinton-k1c]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?

[@barbaraandrews5]

His name is fatherabulu, and him is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...

[@BarbaraLinton-k1c]

Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked him up online. impressive.

[@xthebluenitex]

Bunch of scammers

[@chastasteffan6684]

May your light continue to burn bright to allow our eyes open so we may see,, and allow our ears to hear what we need individually as promised thru the Holy spirit,💖

[@bricelegendnducho]

this is a wonderful compilation, thank you

[@inspirationabode]

🙂

[@matildaalice1219]

The every god damn day for the rest of your life always gets me

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Thanks!

[@inspirationabode]

Thank you so much. Keep learning ❤️

[@jamesadamgleason9471]

This isn't affiliated with Mr. Peterson and you just paid a thief for stolen content....

[@Kwamikido]

Just spot on JP

[@yasemintomakan]

i'm divorced now after 34 years of marriage. here's my dilema: he never told me who he really was. i started finding out halfway into the marriage, 3 kids, school, work, etc. so speaking of truth, how do you get to the bottom of it in order to know when the other person's objective is to hide it for years and years, until it's no longer something they can hide, they discard you, have an affair, tell the grown kids it's all your fault and basically left you empty, when you trusted emphatically in them (at least in a positive way for the first half)?.BTW: i recommend you to so many people, u r very very helpful.

[@Jordandacosta25]

Unfortunately there is little you can do to prevent this all together. You have to take some time to get yourself in a strong place and begin dating again. His actions are no reflection on you, I had a GF once who I split up with as I caught her cheating (although she refused) and she went to each of my friends describing how I was controlling and I lost half my friends over it. Bothered me loads at the time but seems none of those were my true friends anyway. In a new relationship now and communicate whenever something makes me feel uncomfortable and seems good.Good luck

[@jesseblalock1710]

Im coming out of 25 years myself and all the lies just kills me

[@GabrielSampayo-x6s]

What did he hide, other than an affair bc it seems like there was something before that. You just dident say.

[@yasemintomakan]

@@GabrielSampayo-x6s gosh there's so much history there. i guess you could say it was faith in himself, he didn't believe in himself, he didn't have courage, he procrastinated, he was full of doubts. you see, i had courage and self belief. we were both designers, or so i thought. turns out he really wasn't. i wanted to create a business between us, he was against it until we started making lots of $. i always referred to us as partners, and in the end he claimed i worked for him. he flipped the script completely as if i was nothing and took full credit for everything. then when i stepped away, the business slowly died. he then thought he could become a real estate broker and make a ton of money, thought he knew a thing or two. well, it's been close to fifteen years now andhe hasn't sold a single house except the one he bought for himself and his girlfriend. he only does rentals. his profile states he developed properties on Nantucket, not true, i did all the work, he couldn't even pick a property. he now brags that he works for Pfizer, but he's just a security gaurd. get the picture?he was never a designer, etc, he was a con artist. everything was a lie.

[@arianaalvarez6579]

I forgot to mention that all the places I wanted to go to was a month in advance so work can let him go for vacations and all were a no because he didnt want to drive, when I said Ill help you drive. My friends would come over and say how they wanted to go places and he was the first to sign up😢. That is what hurt. What he wouldnt do for me but how he would jump up for others, peopke he just new for 5 min. Just how he try to impress me in the beginning is how 10 years later or less they will try to impress the next woman. It takes a real friend and a real woman to say no thanks Ill watch your kids while yall go out. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for the cheaters I have friends that just by observing them I was able to figure it out. Whatever that means. I dont hurt like I did. I thought it was me but now I know its not. Im perfect in every sense. Im jot the best cheff but I can cook food that will make you suck your fingers and I could clean just like the maid and put in the hours at work when there is a must. Still read a book to my kids and take them to sports. I am not a cheating absent woman. So that equalls something wrong with the man 😅

[@swurvling]

Restraining oders don't work well on people who need restraining orders 😂😂😂

[@melissawilliams7238]

Married 16 years. we've seen better, we've seen the worst, we've seen richer and poorer... still very much in love But sometimes things start feeling lackluster. Like Blah. Our youngest of two daughters is heading into freshman year highschool. Im afraid he is gonna want to leave as soon as our daughter leaves home because he hates the pnw and wants to go back to Arkansas.

[@inspirationabode]

I appreciate your honest opinion

[@ass4and8am]

Can I ask why you are afraid of that? Afraid of what actually about it?

[@balkogirl91]

Wow, powerful!

[@inspirationabode]

I am glad you found this helpful

[@EthanDaniel-y1b]

I’ve finally found a woman who I believe is faithfull but I constantly have thoughts come into my head of her leaving or I make up crazy stories in my head and over think everything because everyone I’ve ever loved has staved me in the back I express my concerns and thoughts constantly to the point where it annoys her I need this one to work out any advice from someone?

[@jenniferphilly]

I have the same trust issues. What I am trying to do in my current relationship (been with my boyfriend 1 year) is if I feel upset by anything that he has said or done, I try to process it by seeing if there is a link to something that happened in my past. For example, if he takes hours to respond to a message, I start getting anxious that he isn't thinking about me and is about to leave me. The real cause of this extreme reaction is that my dad decided to leave when I was 12 and I am still (at 41) deeply affected by that. Doing this has meant that with my boyfriend I have been able to regulate my reactions, talk frankly about how I feel, never make any accusations and never place any blame on him. He appreciates my frankness and it also helps that he is mature enough to listen to me and show me empathy, and we have mutual respect for each other. I hope this helps a bit.

[@jenniferphilly]

You could try to process your emotions alone before expressing them to her. So, if something is worrying you or upsetting you, try to find a link to something in your past, so.ething that would explain why you're having such a negative or extreme reaction. Then, think about whether your reaction is justified for the present situation. Do all of this until you are calm. Only when you are calm should you talk to her about it, and avoid putting any blame on her, and avoid making any accusations. I hope this helps.

[@GustavoMaldonado42]

@@jenniferphilly thats rly nice, good for u! all the best for u and OP

[@chastasteffan6684]

The four attachment theories... I think you will find some of your answer.. through the personal development school with Ms. Gibson... it is absolutely incredible what I am finding out about me and my coping skills blessed be my friend

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I need to put in the work

[@river5235]

Jordan, Why hasn’t someone unpacked the idiosyncrasies around divorce rates. Specifically why women file 80 plus percent of the time, which is statistically significant. It’s never just 1 reason, but are you able to unpack this for us?

[@Bernice-rp1eg]

One factor is women have higher levels of neuroticism so women are higher in negative emotion. There are many factors that go into the divorce rates but that is one factor

[@inspirationabode]

Well pointed

[@JustCammie]

Mutual attraction causing premature commitment and attachment without real compatibility.

[@simomaaroufi]

You sound like jordan 😂​@@Bernice-rp1eg

[@davidbentick]

@@Bernice-rp1eg, that’s why a large… amount of lesbian relationships, don’t work out.

[@martamendonca7064]

59:39 do you know the original vídeo where this part is from?

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

So beautiful

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I don't know if am ready for a long lasting relationship l want a relationship but l don't want my heart broken

[@melissawilliams7238]

Yeah relationships hurt sometimes. Ive been with my husband for 16 years and can say even if nothing seriously bad (no cheating, no physical abuse, everything mostly good) ever happens... you still get hurt, your hearts still aches. Love is a bitch just like life

[@Kwamikido]

Same here

[@Jordandacosta25]

You are afraid of taking risk / fear of unknown

[@Jamiey-]

Nothing of any value can be attained without some form of risk and cost ...

[@villep7907]

Think of what youre missing if youre not gonna have a long-term relationship. You could have the best relationship you've ever had. It could be worth the risk, even if it does suck if it goes wrong

[@RockawayCCW]

@ 28:55 "Restraining orders don't work on the sort of people you put restraining orders on."

[@SweetIfy889]

The Top 5 reasons she refuses to come back after the first night. - Love Dating & Relationship Surveys and Tips kzbin.info/www/bejne/ap3Vl5htbrmKkMksi=KC83dm3A7DWbkPXN

[@ColbyHill-ci7hr]

11:25, This explains his most recent book title

[@Pond770]

distinguishing virtuous for me and my frend are not a very hard thing nature you have bestowed upon us it’s not what you are really about thank you for always in the the shadow I appreciate the dark 😊but I’m not soldiers over here what are you building? Definitely they would fallow me in to battle but the things you have put into their minds I will never forgive!

[@alenaadamkova5322]

It fascinmates me as some composers of 19 century implemented such attitude of romantic way of thinking, because the romanticism started, and the classical music was romantic I wonder maybe they became like flegmatic...sensual musical artists not overly emotional when it comes to healthy relationships, but sensitive with music and art, and treatoing others with respect or at least some tried it that way. they had crazy cult groups too but the gentlemen treated each other with respect and admiration. They were inspired by nature, animals, trees, birds, they read poems and books, and were spiritiual. Its like being a calm happy, flegmatic, stoic man that it engages foiendly conversations of men between other men. Gentlemen undrerstood that being a gentleman makes your life calmer and happier. Composers and artists helped each other in friendly manner. It was like bromance, thye wrote letters to each other showing respect and admiration for the collegueś talents. They engage healthy conversations. When you get such bromance letter from friend at that time it must mean a lot something unforgetable, the friendhips grew and inspired other artists. So if you see a gentleman treatinga nother gentleman with such heartwarming friendly manner, you can imagine how they treated the wife and family. Men dont have to be romantic, but it has its benefits, mentally. If the room is full of gentlemen, its great benefit for all of them, they grow businesses and do family events.

[@Pond770]

And we are in a race to the end perhaps he doesn’t understand it but he’s subconscious dose he is a friend not a tool I’m only a absorber 😊

[@DariaLyman-i2s]

What do you do when you’re happy in your marriage but no longer attracted to your spouse?

[@monkeysoundsinc.1600]

Sé que puedo avanzar en mi vida profesional si me caso o tengo un hijo, tengo un hermano pequeño que para conmigo casi todo el tiempo y no me es una molestia, es difícil mantener y tener una vida profesional con un hij@ pero no es imposible, como dice Peterson requiere compromiso

[@bitratty]

Patterns

[@wgsmit02]

Unfortunately the gender that should hear this will never listen to this

[@Photik]

Both?

[@sincerely-b]

Which one is that?

[@narendrasomawat5978]

@sincerely-b woman 🍵

[@JayashreeSreedharan]

The more we listen to such podcast. Break up 💔 is sure😂

[@stevegeorge3903]

Area you listening for real because I don't hear that.

[@jonathanbarone4708]

❤❤

[@inspirationabode]

❤️✨

[@NorthernGuy-v1x]

Men need to have a higher standard for keeping up the house. I used to have a good standard but it's gone to hell. No way I could bring a woman into my place now. I used to spend a half day every weekend doing the place top to bottom and everything was put away and the floors shined. Window sills wiped down and blinds dusted. Nary a sock to be found. No clutter. If the wife or girlfriend is complaining about the state of the house, or worse feels she is doing all the work, then LOOK OUT MAN (wink) that's going to be a major strain on the relationship and could even end it.

[@lavenderbudtree]

I do think that it’s a joint effort in a relationship/marriage. I’m a good cook and I like a clean house but I’m ok with my significant other to pull his weight and help in other ways. It’s all about balance and good communication 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@NorthernGuy-v1x]

@@lavenderbudtree I think people need to agree on what a clean house is. When I'm busy with kids and work I don't walk through the house wiping my finger on every surface looking for dust...

[@colonelradec5956]

I also dissagree with the 30 and 40 thing. Im almost 40 and in 1 year i made up nearly all that ground lol.

[@Photik]

Can you elaborate?

[@colonelradec5956]

Around 50 minutes in he makes it sound like 30 or 40 is too late to turn your life around and it's Just not. Alls it takes is making a decision. He even says that in other places. Gain and loss is not a flat gradual line. Alls it takes is deciding to change and meaning it. Or perceiving something different or just getting lucky. Im not quite 40. I decided one day I'm not entering another milestone year of life as a poor weak person. And since then I found God, got strong and became a whole new person. The older you get the harder it is to change usually but it's not a guarantee. After nearly 40 years of life I got sick of having nothing. And always having no power. Now I work out looking for a better job. Getting a car and making money rapidly with a business idea. If your alive change is possible.

[@tomg.8904]

I am, alone that is.

[@bhavyapanchal]

❤

[@inspirationabode]

❤️✨

[@Pond770]

Alone who is alone here?

[@MargauxNeedler]

Disappointing that he kinda says cheating is "gonna happen". If it is a deep enuf love there is no cheating risk. Real love is very emotionally & spiritually deep. There is no room for emotional unavailability

[@arianaalvarez6579]

Hard to believe. It took me 3 relationships to realize men are men and they are humans meaning they are bound to make mistakes. In my life I have only known 1 man that didnt cheat out of all the great men that are in my life only 1. I hope you realize no one is going to love as deep as you do. If you are willing to love that deep then it means your wiilingness to have a broken heart as deep as your love. I read it somewhere.

[@MargauxNeedler]

@@arianaalvarez6579 I really agree with ur last sentence since the only man I've loved who was single is also a proud --x addict & narcissist. He said he only wants lust & not love. Humans have got to get better before they start marrying each other. The world doesn't teach this tho. The world encourages lust with por-ogra--y, strip clubs, --x scenes in the media, & overall trash talk about --xual intimacy since the world portrays it as a silly little time to get physical pleasure & that's it. But no one in their right mind wants to do that without being emotionally close to the person.

[@linutel.1687]

A​@@arianaalvarez6579

[@guillermomaciasrojas7912]

Stop having the childish ideal of romantic love as an expectation for your relationships. At the end of the day we're all only humans, imperfect and with desire. Most of the time men cheat because they have stronger libido and unmet needs in bed, so if you want to decrease the probability of your man cheating on you then take care of that ( learn what it really means to do that, don't just be naive and think that you know and you already give him that) . If he still ends up cheating then he is a dick, but that's life. The same is true for women, just not so much on average

[@MargauxNeedler]

@@guillermomaciasrojas7912 it's not childish. I experienced it but the guy was very evil. That doesn't negate the part of him I loved. Ppl are just so mentally ill. If they are more authentic & healthy ppl they will have amazing rltshps

[@colonelradec5956]

Being single a pathway to insanity lol. Meanwhile I've never seen anything destroy more lives quicker than divorce other than the S word.. Which happens alot from divorce 🤣

[@williamlabarge1569]

Watch more then a few minutes he discusses this very thing at about 30 minutes in the goal is to have a marriage that survives and not ends in divorce

[@PatrickPerez-o1b]

Thomas Sandra Robinson John Clark Sandra

[@emadimitrov5506]

16:53

[@jovialfaltisco548]

Women more agreeable than men? Lol😂 He lives in his own little world with his lovely wife.

[@Photik]

Depends on if which takes the masculine role etc. Unfortunately, modern men are like dogs that were told to behave like cats.

[@Postmortementrails]

Men will still doubt their faults when someone like Jordan Peterson says it 😂

[@alphaomegalovesu1017]

If you can read, think, and write then you are dangerous

[@valenciablake7457]

What about id physical abuse was part of relationship

[@Jordandacosta25]

You need to leave

[@valenciablake7457]

@@Jordandacosta25 I did

[@Jordandacosta25]

@@valenciablake7457 proud of you 🙌 head up go gym find urself

[@valenciablake7457]

Thank you, it's hard, but I will get back my power

[@colonelradec5956]

I disagree. Id much rather be single than with somebody who steals my peace. Also women are never stuck with you. At any time they can leave with half your stuff and 18 years of pay 🤣 strongly disagree.

[@meshavillar]

They made good points for being in a committed relationship, like for personal development and not isolating socially, but I also immediately disagreed. I think it's more than okay to be single. It's completely fair to assess yourself and decide, "I don't want that". Especially if your values are those of comfort, quietness, peace, self sufficiency, etc. Or if you are risk averse when it comes to your personal intimacy. Totally understandable. You can get your social needs met in other ways. I think it comes down to each individual's values, choices, and desires for their lives. Being married and being single both have negative and positive consequences. That's why you count the cost before deciding what you want. Just my two pennies. 🤷‍♀️

[@meshavillar]

I grew/am growing so much in my marriage, but I also think I could have done just as well on my own. Probably would have taken longer, but that's just an assumption. Struggle is good sometimes, and the human organism is incredibly adaptable

[@aal1y6h]

You’re human, and you need human connection. He clearly explains this in great detail lol. You think you don’t ? lol

[@colonelradec5956]

@@aal1y6h yea but not necessarily from a GF or wife. I was with women my whole life and it was way worse than single.

[@aal1y6h]

@@colonelradec5956 unless you’re gay when it’s time to find a partner you’ll be choosing a woman, pick better women lol.

[@RatBoyTriple6ix]

Juden Peterstein

[@PartyCrewCoolPAD]

Slow down..... basically still moving??? #Beach_means_Ranch 😒

[@arianaalvarez6579]

In a relationship more than a decade. Took 1 year off because he never wanted to take me to the beach, or to the mountains, let alone a movie he was just gonna want to walk out to get his money back. When reconciled I have few rules,😅 no sex unless I want to, if you cheat and I find out dont be surprised when I have a male friend to take me out where he wont, cant marry me unless we have a print up with these rules above signed below. Hes still here but no print up no marriage

[@mattmatzner8749]

Yikes, I hope he leaves for his happiness. You’re far too unruly and combative with your desires. In a word how you’re going about things is unloving or another is disrespectful. You get to have your desires and feelings about how you’d like to be treated but withholding intimacy as some sort of ransom for it is a pathway to hell. Either leave each other and find people who you two won’t be so combative with or negotiate and communicate in good faith and love as the centerpiece of your motivation for changes.

[@arianaalvarez6579]

​@@mattmatzner8749I hope so too because obviously he is only happy if Im crying, you know how I know he tells me why am I not like before beforw when ai cried for him to be with me, before when I kept paying all the rent without his help, before when I use to go th4ough his phone really. Im happy now not crying, not needing him not giving my time just cus he wants it. He can skiddadle on his way no the next 20 yr old or 50 yr old. If someone not helping me Id rather be alone

[@krystiesolfyre5340]

The way you are setting your boundaries is really toxic. You have to act more like a real adult in a relationship or that immaturity will kill it. Sure, you want marriage, make it clear, give a reasonable time frame, discuss again, and either agree or walk away. But don’t punish when in a relationship. Communicate like an actual adult how something makes you feel and give them the chance to correct or move on without needless threats. But just taking away intimacy is really horrible for men especially. Read men are from mars, women are Venus and work on maturity. You’ll get much farther that way.

[@greendesertgoddess]

What or who TF makes JP an expert? Is the only question to ask . . .

[@ericalakin9224]

He has spent years upon years of studying people, has the ability to articulate condensed applicable information, and has been in a stable marriage for many years. Just take what you like and leave the rest, but dont forget it.

[@nalinisehwani4601]

He sounds so STUPID

[@danielcastaneda9042]

Your mom does

[@rshume341]

I would say at least 20 years of practise and at least that in marriage successfully and with children. A lot if what he says is mostly commonsense learned through psychology and marital relationship- he is still married. You as a commentor are an expert in your own, they are good or bad. You too probably advise others based on your life...

[@Sifupaulresnick]

Nope. That question has been sufficiently answered on many dimensions. Just do the research.

[@JodyQuillen-f6q]

Oh but stealing everything from someone whom was recovering from trauma inflicted additional trauma and continuing to do so is a PSYCHOPATH EVIL NARCISSIST