Jordan Peterson: The problem of too much empathy

[@kcvriess]

I work with disabled people. Since my studies we've been hardwired let take people take care of themselves as much as possible. Even if they struggle!! Only intervene when you sense/see that they are about to fail. It's then that you help. It's called autonomy. Children need to learn it and old/disabled people need to preserve it, as much as possible. Otherwise there's hardly any sense to anything anymore. It may sound negative but it isn't.

[@Happylluk]

kcvriess ....so.... You actually help people buy allowing them to help themselves... ;P

[@Tyler_W]

Idk if this was my personality, how I was mostly raised or both, but as a visually disabled person I've always valied amd tried to maintain any and all sense of autonomy I can, and it bugs when I run into the handful of instances in which my in independence is necessarily reduced. Of course, an admittedly negative conseauence is that I do and always have struggled with asking for help for any reason, even if I genuinely need it, which results in me unnecessarily suffering and or struggling when it isn't necessary. There is a dark side to cultivating a sense of autonomy, but i absolutely get how overall important it is to develop that autonomy and the desire for it. It is incredibly important. It offers a sense of dignity, confidence and self-respect.

[@loveandsqualor6034]

@adsfafad Lol

[@AB-wf2js]

Since you work with "disabled people" you should know that the word disabled shouldnt come before the word people. It implies that their disability is more important than them being a human and they dont like that.

[@boethius9173]

kcvriess, This is becoming more difficult with children. Many states and localities are pushing to make it illegal for children to even walk down the sidewalk unsupervised by an adult, even though violent crimes are at a 25-year low, and 25 years ago, such silly laws did not even exist when violent crime levels were at an all-time high. People are becoming too paranoid, afraid of their own shadows.

[@AceTriggerz]

You can't be nice to people, you got to be fair. People respect fairness and understand it far more than niceness.

[@billcipher2893]

10/10

[@AceTriggerz]

@Big g yes.

[@rmosley62]

As a manager in retail of 30 years, too nice = weakness, fairness = strength

[@rimaagarwal5584]

@@rmosley62 what is fairness?I don't understand could you elaborate it?

[@allidoiswin2612]

🌟🌟🌟

[@alexpollard9513]

So much wisdom coming from his mouth that he needs two mics.

[@kanknw]

Alex Pollard lmao

[@mussabsaleem7625]

Lol XD.

[@Bonesph]

Does he need more or less benzos??

[@RoBeRtJones1994]

@@Bonesph if he's gotta compete with these libtards he needs more, takes the edge off arguing with retards.

[@RiskDiamondz]

@@Bonesph Mate probably don't put your face as your profile picture when you look like an inbred caveman

[@howardrickert2558]

Life is a comedy for those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel. - Jean Racine

[@Genesis-fy3cp]

Howard Rickert Apt. Apt analysis, Howard.

[@shannonreonazalma3275]

Very true.

[@kapitanbuggy]

I live by this

[@KreisTyler]

I think and feel so it's a comedic tragedy. I laugh when I feel like crying

[@Fate2024]

Life is life , everyone thinks and feels but the problem is how they balance it and where they invest the most of it

[@praisehermie9124]

You have to think...you can't just feel.

[@ohlookabunny]

Feeling is a form of cognition. The trick is knowing how to balance the "chaos" of feeling with the "order" of thinking.

[@simonbanks5012]

The problem is it's not a trick everyone can master or even attempt to use 'safely'. If you happen only to be in the world with your emotions it's like seeing everything up-close and through a magnifying glass when sometimes you need to take a step back. A step back to a place that you failed to find any level of foundations during early childhood. People don't like it but there is a very real level of hopelessness within some people that will cause them hell on Earth in the long run with no possible redemption until brain surgery performed by super advanced AI is a reality

[@praisehermie9124]

@Squishysaurus - of course. It all comes down to balance.

[@BJJMTF]

The part of your brain that you make decisions in, has no capacity for language, so we say "feel" cuz we can't really explain it, and we need a 3 hour lecture hoping we made sense

[@machtnichtsseimann]

Bravo to Squishysaurus...I've been bugged by both sides solely emphasizing their way: All Rational...All Emotional. Yet, I wouldn't go as far as saying: It's all Balance. Not feeling I thoroughly understand, but even Balance made absolute can bring an inappropriate approach to certain contexts. It's probably semantics,too: Moderation vs. Balance vs. Passion in day-to-day living vs. intense moments and chapters of life.

[@lukeakerboom6298]

"You need to Think not just Feel". Powerful

[@annmarie8106]

You can feel and think at the same time tho…

[@neurohackstv5723]

There is a difference between helping and enabling. Enabling is doing something completely on your own for someone else. Help is offering something to someone that they don’t have in order to allow them to triumph over their struggles.

[@KizaWittaker]

People have been helping native americans by giving them everything they need. Now look.

[@nazarenkodenys]

NeurohacksTV have you introduced this definition yourself ?

[@RustyShakleford1]

Kiza D WhiteHorse exactly what I was saying. Now in Canada they are blocking shipping ports for freighters and railway trains Are backed up!!!! And the government has no idea how to deal with this because they gave them a voice and power and said were the racists. There plan completely backfired I love it

[@DoINeedAHandle]

@@nazarenkodenys what does this mean lol. Homie spat facts

[@michelleobrien6996]

That's not what enabling is

[@seetsamolapo5600]

This resonates so much. Being too high in agreeableness - what the mbti calls Extroverted Feeling can bring bad bad results in both the giver of the caretaking and the one given. "Never do something for someone that they can do themselves"

[@Ignasimp]

Agree. I've know unhealthy Fe dominants that for the sake of harmony manipulate people into believing everything is ok when it's not.

[@frankmcnally5993]

I hate the people who say everything is ok when it isn't. Is 16 personalities mbti because I took it recently and got the acronym 'intj'

[@seetsamolapo5600]

@AnimeTherapy my experience with Fi doms or aux is them being very selfish people. Decisions are made with regard to how they feel and they couldn't care if the world is burning

[@seetsamolapo5600]

@@frankmcnally5993 yeah you're safe you have introverted feeling in your cognitive stack. And INTJs are known for being really cold

[@halleffect5439]

agreeableness is not empathy. empathy includes much more like the ability to understand others and solve problems, find strategies to survive. empathy is a evolutionary tool made to live in a group.

[@pummisher1186]

When I was a kid, I had a terrible stutter. Teachers and most other people would try to finish my sentences and would never be right. It was infuriating because they thought they were helping and they thought I was mentally challenged.

[@mihaiapostol6423]

Me too :)

[@stevelangstroth5833]

I worked with a 60 year old man who is extremely smart, but he had a TERRIBLE stutter. I would NEVER interrupt him, or finish his sentences. I would patiently wait for him to finish. He was always stunned that I would do that.

[@filazkeita2272]

They were just impatient

[@patriciajin6206]

@@filazkeita2272 lol

[@carpathianken]

Speaking of empathy.One of my mentors while I was doing my apprenticeship had a chronic stutter.I never felt compelled to attempt to finish his sentences, I was too busy trying to control the overwhelming impulse to not burst out laughing while he was doing it.I feel bad in the present day about the emotional that I lacked during that era

[@gryranfelt5473]

I wouldn't call this a problem with too much empathy but rather a problem of over-victimizing. Someone who has true empathy will understand that all humans face adversity, no matter rich or poor, and that what a person needs is not always help, but for someone to believe in them.

[@kyleolin3566]

You have a solid point. To have empathy is to completely understand where another person is coming from. That is something we could all Strive for. It is the enabling/victimizing attitudes that need to go

[@laurareavis5372]

In layman's terms, you have a point. Please remember, however, that Peterson is a clinical psychologist speaking to people who are at least familiar with psychology. All of these terms (empathy, compassion, agreeableness, etc) have specific definitions in the field of psychology, and these definitions don't include all of the lay connotations.

[@Tary88]

Too much empathy allows you to justify immoral behavior because you feel bad for them or their situation.

[@gryranfelt5473]

That's true. So empathy needs to be weighed up by rationality and pragmatism.

[@gryranfelt5473]

Ah, good point. Still, problematic that these vids are seen by so many "laypeople" who will understand it with the lay connotations.

[@chizzlemo3094]

I think about this a lot, I want my kids to be resilient, and I want them to still thrive when I’m dead.

[@JD-qf8ul]

I think the same myself even though I don’t even have a girlfriend yet lol, I think I want them to be competitive, but also compassionate

[@aznsumthing]

The problem is that the people who primarily feel, think that they are thinking.

[@EssentialBiz]

100% correct

[@mister-zen8491]

"I feel like..." Is a phrase all too often used.

[@jaredmatthews9879]

Sometimes Compassion and Empathy will require that you let someone fall down and learn and experiences consequences. I still believe that Compassion and Empathy are the utmost needed qualities for humanity. You have to let people suffer if you are truly compassionate and Empathetic to their full condition.

[@kgngakane5665]

Tough love. That's how I was raised

[@RiskDiamondz]

I agree with what you said but you worded it wrong, if you are "truly" compassionate/empathetic you don't always know that letting people suffer will be the best option for them. Some empaths would rather no one gets hurt ever and consequences don't exist since they'd rather not have other people experience negative emotions

[@miriyumyum3590]

@@RiskDiamondz yeah the person should have said: if you really want the best for someone then...." And not if you really have empathy for someone...

[@machtnichtsseimann]

@@RiskDiamondz - For what it's worth, as an empath and Theist, there have been periods of life where I was angry at God for not protecting me more, from manipulative women, two-faced liars, disloyal friends. Then, as the years wore on, it dawned on me to do the work to grow in discernment and choose more wisely. Boundaries AND enforcement. As soon as I began to have clear limits and grew in the ability to say "No", the growth was immediate. I've always been an ESP, but one must think through what is good for ourselves and for others as well. People lost in feelings hate the "boredom" of thinking and are quite judgmental towards thinkers. It's not either/or, but compassion + discerning guidance and correction. ( If you don't believe in God, it's similar to a parent/child relationship. )

[@acardinalconsideration824]

@@machtnichtsseimann I’ve noticed that this is common among the religious. A religious man will be frustrated with his creator over something as petty as a messy relationship, but many of them don’t think twice about the child dying a slow death from terminal cancer. As if they are somehow more special than those who suffer in ways in which you and I cannot even fathom

[@roar6047]

He’s right, I work with children with developmental disorders and a big part of my work is teaching them self-help skills and being able to care for themselves. The goal is to work myself out of a job basically by helping them become more independent. In my opinion this is how you bring about strong individuals and not helpless people

[@dsarah60]

I think real empathy also means being able to accompany people while they are struggling. Doing everything for them is just selfish, because one doesnt want to feel their struggle and thats whyone acts that way (which is not an empathetic thing to do acually).

[@beckymagnolia1]

He's talking about a kind of compassion Buddhists call "Idiot Compassion". This is compassion for others that's based in your own ego and fears. It's enabling. True compassion is rooted in healthy mutual respect The politically correct stance doesn't come from true compassion...they're acting from their own ego.

[@Torgo1969]

"The essence of balance is detachment. To embrace a cause, to grow fond or spiteful, is to lose one's balance, after which, no action can be trusted."

[@Tyler_W]

Doesn't detatchment incentivize passivity and inaction, though?

[@pauldecoster]

Tyler Worsham only if there is no courage to back up an action based on logic. You have to detach yourself from the impact you have on someone if you fire them, even if you don’t like to do that as a rule and turn out wrong in your intimate judgment with 20/20 hindsight. A judgement is a risk of being proven wrong. If you’re detached, you can withstand the emotional embarrassment of misjudging.

[@allenwalker4976]

I think the original quote is useful, but it really is an attachment to being detached. No generalized advice can be perfect, so you have to choose which way of thinking is better depending on the situation. Sometimes you need an immediate action when taking time to process will take too long, sometimes you need a desensitized reaction so you make the most fair decision. Philosophy is cool :P

[@MatthewTheUntitled]

@@Tyler_W detaching yourself is an action on it's own, the rest is following it up in order to achieve what you detached for

[@Pursuit4happiness]

Very stoic

[@joesavv02]

3 quarters into the video and I only just realised Jordan Peterson has 2 mics

[@skipeveryday7282]

I'll raise you that with having even having had it pointed put I didn't notice the second mic until the end.

[@raymondleemeadows4969]

get it straight... he's not saying don't have empathy - this isn't some excuse to act like a social-darwinian who hates the vulnerable.

[@Tyler_W]

Anyone who draws this conclision either hasn't learned how to critically dissect and comprehend an argument, or they are deliberately missing thr point by putting words in his mouth.

[@BitmapJack]

at the same time he is being so vague is this shit that he is also saying to not have empathy , basically for extreme nazi be anti social

[@ShinTurrican]

@@BitmapJack if that's what you heard then you were not listening. You can't act on empathy alone all the time, how does that somehow translate to being a nazi?

[@RoBeRtJones1994]

@@ShinTurrican it's 2020 it just does

[@luiswellingtonsantos6839]

@@BitmapJack guess we didn't watch the same vídeo.

[@jenniferdana5665]

Life is fun and enjoyable as long as you take actions to move forward to get things done!

[@MaoyunXiaohuoziniao]

A lot of times this kind of empathy socialite with guilt--“if I don’t help, I’m horrible.” It can be so overwhelming so people don’t have the ability to think what’s really good for others right in front of them. Also, when you really need their compassion while feeling bad, they will not be able to give any of it.

[@silentperson233]

This describes my parents well. They happen to be first generation Chinese immigrants in the US.

[@MaoyunXiaohuoziniao]

@@silentperson233 Yeah, must be very hard for you.😭

[@TheJohnCooper]

Empathy is the feminine because it's predicated in reception. The masculine is predicated in transmission and point making/boundaries. We need healthy balance of both

[@timtrocke]

Thank you!!

[@milkncookie]

@Mirklok I think the original commenter means just in generalities. Women tend to want to receive and men tend to want to give. Men need things too and women likes to give aswell, but both sexes balances each other out. In the stereotype hypothetical: ever seen too many men with one another? They all want to assert their opinions/strength and show their superiority which leads to arrogance. Woman around women tends to want things or flaunts materials other want which leads to jealousy. Men size each other up for pecking order, and women get catty with one another. However men and women works. Men gets validated from females and females get gifts from men. Females receive love from men, men gets to provider, and generally enjoys providing as this gives them purpose. Win-win. Couldn't speak much about the women side in my examples as I'm not certain enough of their desires. But in general both sexes have different needs to fulfill their life. And stereotypically should a good man find a good woman they tend to compliment one another well.

[@aleio8233]

@LEO2001 so what do you enjoy as a man? I understand you have gone through some shit that's why you are closed off but I can assure you that learning the balance between giving and taking is the key to happiness

[@celesteaurigue5546]

F. Rick Herr that was a lovely interpretation of femme and masculine

[@interneda98]

Bullcrap

[@IxLucaxI]

He is on fire.

[@compulsoryspeech1411]

He will be set on fire if he don’t shut up.

[@keaganwheeler-mccann8565]

Compulsory Speech Hah!

[@tonywilliamson-bruscaglia3070]

Compulsory Speech, Ah, but this is the exact reason he will not, and should not ever stop.

[@seemoretoys5944]

Compulsory Speech - The Troll

[@TheGabrielPT]

I like your books

[@basicbase749]

I have been too empathetic my whole life with people, and now I wonder why Do i feel the strongest among them but also the loneliest. Because I am never offered the same help that I give cz people think I don’t need it. It’s not good, there must be a balance when you wanna show empathy. Don’t let them get used to your consistent empathy

[@sak4250]

I feel you and somehow people have irrational expectations from u too.. so if u fail to give they take it as betrayal.. it's really hard if ur empathy doesn't have boundaries

[@halleffect5439]

Empathy is mostly hardwired. You cant change that part. If your friends dont give you love back, get new ones or rework your friendship.

[@mkosmos]

the only thing that is bothering me with this kind of clips from Jordan Peterson lectures is that they are too short..... I want more!!

[@lepolhart9623]

I love this guy he's just brilliant. I've worked in care homes and he's 100% right about enabling the old folks to keep their independence by making them do as much as possible for themselves even if they're struggling as it'll help them in the long run.

[@dekippiesip]

In most cases their isn't really a 'long run' for them, they are in the last phase of their life. More than that I think it is maintaining their sense of dignity that matters the most.

[@mahimaacharya3774]

Sometimes compassion leads to a bad result. Sometimes even the person you love the most has to be given a rough time just so that they get a chance to learn or grow. If you help them too much you're taking that opportunity of growth away from them.

[@Happylluk]

what a guy! so genuine. how can you not like him?

[@jesusthemillionaire]

you'd have to be a radical neo leftist with the most bias foundation of thinking to see JP as anything other than intelligent and articulate

[@johannesbottiger1754]

Samuel Keefe He is both intelligent and articulate; but from what i've seen his 'insights' are still mostly wrong, or at least very knee-jerk-y.

[@jesusthemillionaire]

everybody has flaws, I also find that his years as a psychologist gave him a thick skin from helping so many people deal with their tragedies, I don't what to think about some of what he says. But I believe he is what a lot of people should be listening to for expand their intellectual walls by promoting the meaning of responsibility etc.. His "insights" are reputable to me. Respect you for thinking for yourself

[@genericereal]

+Johannes Böttiger Any specific examples? Because "insight" can't be objectively wrong, because it is one's own understanding of a particular topic. It may differ from the experiences of others, but it is not inherently wrong because it was the experience of the person giving the insight.

[@BlaziNTrades]

"you'd have to be a radical neo leftist with the most bias foundation of thinking to see JP as anything other than intelligent and articulate" I'd bet that even he would disagree with you on that.

[@tatumtots6704]

My dad was such a hard ass when I was growing up, and now days I thank God for that experience

[@PlexusCaeruleum]

When altruism becomes forced, that's when it's coercion.

[@HE--]

the title is misleading, it should be "the problem of too much compassion and why governments shouldn't be founded on compassion"

[@rosabscura]

I think you missed the point. There should be a balance. A fairness and that includes compassion. Just not too much.

[@satsumamoon]

Ive learnt to be judicial in my empathy, to not always put myself in the shoes of others and feel what others feel. As a result I am much more emotionally stable. I can watch videos about concentration camps for study purposes and not feel depressed or angry. I dont know why I never figured this out earlier in life, its bloody amazing to have control over ones emotional states and not be blown about by the events of the outer world.

[@satsumamoon]

Oh, its not that emoathy isnt there, its that I can turn it right down when needed. If you cant do this then you become very depressed about the suffering in the world and the horrid things that happen.

[@satsumamoon]

@@MusicVoiceEffects Sure, in one paragraph :D I can point you in some avenues. Of exploration only. 1) accept your emotions to the point where you dont care what you feel. Not in the sense of nihlism or whatever its called but more like you really can just be with thar emotion without wanting to get away from it and without a strong desire for one emotional state over another. Only then will you realise you have the freedom to choose and the wisdom to realise that you no longer need to. 2) EFT is just one of many processes to choose from regarding " how t o accept and welcome emotions" 3) Rupert Spira does guided meditations on the subject. 4) Neville Goddar d; teaches that all external things are actually not separate from ourselves.a 5) Byron Katies worksheets will provide you with a method to deprogramme your mind so you can become more than what youve learnt from your parents and peers.

[@dekippiesip]

I wouldn't describe myself as agreeable, and I can stomach a lot. But watching vids about the holocaust always do make me sad in a way that war documentaries never do. There is something uniquely vicious about it, it almost seems like you have to be somewhat psychopathic to not be hit by in depth descriptions of a genocide. At least that's my impression.

[@kieferonline]

Key quote of the video is at 2:01 "They suffer from an excess of impulsive compassion."

[@Carlos-fh8wk]

“Some truth is not the same as the whole truth.”

[@lordgravyofbiscuits7811]

This means nothing.

[@toecutter1015]

This guy's the best motivational speaker and realty talker I like how there's no corny dramatic music that drowns out the message

[@jenniferdana5665]

Think for yourself! Take action! GET THINGS DONE!

[@williehaller5840]

I used to be overwhelmed by empathy/sympathy/helplessness. I had to do a ritual to cull it

[@desmonides]

Willie Richard Johnson Projects Cremation of Care

[@tropicalstormxox9444]

What ritual did you do?

[@nc-pf3qm]

What did u do?

[@josephinebrevig8748]

How?

[@anonymous-zj1rs]

Help, what did you do?

[@devinaayona3785]

I agree with him especially on the last 10 seconds of the clip. I find it much easier to have my mind shifted and my emotions engaged upon exposure to lectures imbued with emotional languages, such as postcolonial theories, orientalism, and stories of the whatsocalled gender oppression. Emotions / affects are indeed very powerful in dictating our actions, and they manifest unconsciously. JP's speech here helps reminding us to identify the emotional allure in such studies and to be mindful of our actions in relation to such possible influences.

[@offgrid6369]

Family scatter like roaches when you become sick or disabled,in fear of obligation,and that's your own blood.I wouldn't be crazy about it,but wouldn't ignore or turn them away like my family did to me.Its always other humans that break your heart.

[@RustyShakleford1]

OFF GRID going off grid and self actualizing is the answer to all life’s problems and woes

[@Liam-sl3ic]

Tf? Where you living, Somalia?

[@sdm4783]

Humans do not break hearts....our expectations of them do. Some people are not who you want them to be or what you were taught they should be. Some people want to be more than they are but can only pretend for so long. People are who they are and deal with the outside world the best they can with all their wounds.

[@StephanieTips]

Tell that to my mother-in-law who is constantly holding and following my newphews around. Never lets them fall or get hurt or experience things without her supervision

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Of course. They're new.

[@dungeaterfancam]

in all fairness, you should probably be very protective of your children at least until they're like 12 or something. My aunt and grandma once left my 6yo cousin alone for like 5 minutes and he ended up smashing glass with his leg, bleeding all over the place and getting an ambulance ride. You need to let the child learn from small injuries like scratches and stuff but supervision at all times is still advised.

[@tiffanyweber3028]

Finding a balance is important. Always

[@Mistwalker67]

You have to think about watching Jordan, i watch him because he makes sense to me, every time.

[@angelabell7254]

Thank you Jordan Peterson ❤you have just helped me understand myself better. God bless you.

[@jamiblakeley4300]

“In my work with the defendants (at the Nuremberg Trials 1945-1949) I was searching for the nature of evil and I now think I have come close to defining it. A lack of empathy. It’s the one characteristic that connects all the defendants, a genuine incapacity to feel with their fellow men. Evil, I think, is the absence of empathy" - G.M. Gilbert

[@darrensaunders9927]

only two words to say to this guy ....... thank you !

[@merber6070]

I cry every time Im not empathic/compassionate to other people. It hurts worst than hurting myself, because I feel like I could be the source of someone wanting to kill themselves or hurt themselves in other ways. I just cant deal with that responsibility and guilty conscious. But I do try to make people independent tho, but in a loving and supportive way

[@salmanakber6368]

Don't blame others, blame yourself... This may help you

[@moonknightdanyel4474]

Look up to Christ and the true god creator ask him for help we all healing this dilemma now, the key is detachment the ultimate masculine is selfless but strong and assertive we all got both sides masculine and feminine and you can only make that your strength

[@PockASqueeno]

"You can't be too compassionate to your kids, or they'll grow up and hate you." This makes so much sense. This is why I have so much resentment towards my mother, even though she was never cruel or abusive towards me.

[@RostovII]

In a book I once read "People learn real-life lessons by playing", what happens is, compassion can also be translated in protection from (real-life) events that can/may end in failure. Well, if you are overprotected you don't learn some rather basic things in life that, because they're basic, most of the people you know know. By the time we become adults, there's a huge pile of knowledge and experience lost because of this compassionate protection, sometimes it's worse, we may end up further protecting ourselves when "it's time to act"; there's no denying the resentment.

[@SwiftMintyDeath]

islanti Cant have one without the other. Shitty parents = shitty kids

[@morecringe89]

PockASqueeno get over it, you mother did the best she could

[@Torgo1969]

+Santiago Is someone entitled to something just because they tried their best?

[@Fate2024]

Eat Pray Love well you must show also compassion and forgiveness for being who she is , you should try to be at sort of peace with her and show her that you actually are an independent individual and not a victim

[@joejoejoejoejoejoe4391]

I can remember a passage in a fantasy book ( David Gemmell I think ) were a boy fall down a crevasse, when the boy askes for help, his farther says that his rope won't reach and he take several hours to encourage his son to climb out himself, afterwards a companion askes the farther " why didn't you just rescue him, it would have been much easier and quicker ?" The farther replied that he won't be around for ever and his son has to learn to fend for himself. A similar thing happened when I call round at some friends, their daughter was on her first bus ride on her own, but what she didn't know was it was planed that friends would be along the route, it was all planned like a military campaign - it took the parents ( and friends ) a lot of effort, much more than calling a taxi, but they wanted their daughter to become independent. When she went on her first international fight ( on her own ) she was about 14. Good parenting takes much more effort than spoiling a child.

[@zion367]

Even with kids, elderly and sick people your compassion must be balanced with an equal amount of limits.

[@josephinemurphy9421]

thaks ive got a change to make

[@MinosML]

Josephine Murphy This kind of comments always bright my day, how JP is so good at changing people's minds and making them realize their flaws

[@OkThxBye1]

88

[@neuvocastezero1838]

I was considering addressing some of these ideas on a point by point basis, but instead I'll just say that it doesn't seem that an overabundance of empathy is a big problem in this world.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Ikr. Acting like these vegans are shooting people

[@dominance4298]

The excess of empathy is eroding the foundations we've built up from years of loss and bloodshed and replacing it with the be nice or else doctrine.

KZbin is great. Get to see Lectures from top guys like PJ for free.

[@NPC-kw4sb]

Peter Jordanson

[@josephrowland2086]

You can use natural empathy and intuition paired as a tool to assess a situation objectively if you have the intellect and maturation to do so. It’s not easy, but it’s certainly possible and a hell of a thing if done accurately. I do agree with his assessments of the downsides though. As someone who over relies on those paired traits at times, I have to understand that feeling negative motion from another living being doesn’t necessarily make them a victim or put them in a helpless state like the story/context might suggest or feel like.

[@NishantDuttanoirvembre]

I’m one of these kids he’s talking about and now I’m having trouble in my mid 20s Most of logics drift away into nihilism I’m somewhat afraid of the future I don’t know what and how things will unravel. I’d rather die than see another day in light

[@SKU11CRU5HER115]

Hope you're doing okay, or at least better now.

[@oneproudpappa]

@ High Five! You nailed it sir!

[@annareichelt5997]

I sometimes think people dont understand what compassion means. Yes, we feel terrible to let someone struggle, but if we intervene, KNOWING that that intervention is detremental, then we werent acting in a very compassionate manner, now were we? We intervened because WE felt bad, because WE wanted to feel good about ourselves, not because the other person actually needed help, or was even asking for help.

[@Frosty-oj6hw]

This is so profound, it describes left leaning people extremely accurately. It also explains why they virtue signal like they do, because what they're broadcasting to all the people in their peer group is just how bad they feel on behalf of someone else. Because this is seen as almost universally good outside of any kind of context, they gain status about how virtuous they are. And I think that in part leads to control with political correctness, they do not want other people undermining their perceived social status.

[@halleffect5439]

everyone does virtue signaling not only the left.

[@Frosty-oj6hw]

@@halleffect5439 You do see it on the right as well, but not nearly as frequently. Especially among the more religious folks because they tend to be taught that you do good things not for the recognition but because they're inherently good. I believe there's a lot more peer regulation of behaviour on the left, by being vocal about this stuff they're regulating what they want to see in other people. It's become even worse in the world of social media which is why twitter is such a mess and minor infractions by people lead to people being fired from their jobs. Because those sorts of twitter mobs are generally driven by social justice.

[@dekippiesip]

​​@@Frosty-oj6hweligious people have this too. By emphasizing how much they prey, how devoutly they follow their scripture, how they can relate events to biblical quotes, etc. All that is virtue signalling too. Actually the woke left is the ideology that fills the emptying Christianity. As an atheist it saddens me that classical secular liberalism isn't filling that gap.

[@BRAVOBGZ]

I suffer from the excess of impulsive compassion just like Jordan has pointed out. Currently, I am running a business and my compassion has only reflected poorly on me and, it didn't render any event that benefitted me, more like it benefitted the other party. My compassion was just an opening for the other party to exploit, every single time! I come across many of JP's videos and it made me understand that I am too agreeable and I had to consciously develop the habit of saying "No". I've tried to be fair without compassion, and it has definitely benefitted me and my business so to speak. My learnings (subject experience) are that empathy is overrated and not every situation deserves it contrary to how it is generalized. I show my empathy where it is required and when it is required. I want to end with one open question that, which is, Is empathy a privilege?

[@EdreisonFav]

Have to do all three things, think, feel, and do. Balance those accordingly to the situation. Get with it right Pete... know your agenda can see right through. You might impress the young and unwise but not all.

[@gettybiggy5507]

Too much of anything is not good, balance is key to life…not easy. Peace all.

[@robertoorsi3203]

No wonder Merkel is called "mother Merkel" in Germany.

[@fancywrong6405]

Dayum

[@miriyumyum3590]

Yeah :D

[@michaelfordsham2715]

Happy to see there are so many professional psychologists in the comments

[@psycherevival2105]

Help me understand why “compassion is not a way to build a political system.” Once can have compassion and good boundaries at the same time. Perhaps finding a balance between independence and interdependence is key. It seems to me that independence has been encouraged to our detriment as a society.

[@psycherevival2105]

JustA Are you saying compassion should be reserved only for children?

[@jakcaoomah1432]

Because people don't want to only be taken care of and people certainly don't want to be forced to take care of others.

[@DarthDuck404]

​@@psycherevival2105But a lot of people do want to take care of others. That's why the progressive left exists. Obviously there's a limit, but you only reach that point once propping someone up becomes a significant detriment to the community at large.

[@sonwabolloyd7473]

Jordan Peterson always on point.

[@Bonesph]

Jordan Peterson always on benzos.

[@codyheiner3636]

I remember going through a "I can do this all by myself phase" as a kid. I wonder what factors contribute to whether or not people have this, if it's environment or innate, etc..

[@aeonne420]

I think it might related to abandonment issues. You might have lacked support (or felt like you lack) from your parents as a child.

[@codyheiner3636]

@@aeonne420 Quite the opposite, which is why I thought it's interesting (especially if other people don't experience it). I just remember naturally feeling that doing things myself felt better than having someone do that thing for me. Basic accomplishment reward psychology I suppose.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

Visually, this just so happens to line up with how I tend to see Peterson in my mind's eye, so it's satisfying to look at.

[@Fate2024]

Some truth isn't the same as all the truth

[@valmid5069]

"It is precisely these trends which are bringing the world to disaster, because we are now moving towards complete collectivism... *A system under which everybody is enslaved to everybody, and we are moving that way only because of our altruist morality"* --Ayn Rand

[@LittlePlant888]

He has two mics, one on his head and one in his hand....

[@itiswhatitis4837]

The mic on his head doesn't work, obviously.

[@ridethelapras]

Anchovy Pizza The mic is so he isn't picking up his Coke Zero can every 30 seconds!! But seriously, one mic is for the recording of the audio, and one is for the PA system (so those in the back of the auditorium can hear).

[@krzemian]

1. People are exposed to different sets of facts, hence it's important to compare & contrast it with one another 2. Compassion/empathy is a great tool to apply for those at the bottom who can't support themselves (and to that extent only): elderly, infants, poor or severely ill. At the same time, a well-functioning political system should not be based on those.

[@madmarty7103]

I just love Jordan Peterson

[@leonpiccinin]

awesomeness I now know more about myself thank you Jordan.... I have experienced over-empathization from my family and i have done exactly what you said I hate them and pretty much everything else coupled with adult diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder life has been confusing to say the least.... I am grateful that I am now beginning to understand the why's of myself and my skewed world perspective in the last 5 years.

[@hmph-]

Maybe I'm exhausted and not thinking right. I'm not paying attention to his words. Just in mild admiration of how handsome he looks in this video.

[@redessence23]

This gave me a good chuckle to read. And then I thought, "Wait, he's married." I hope you've been able to find someone great since the time you wrote this comment!

[@thebignacho]

This man is speaking exactly what I'm thinking, my sister is exactly the type of person he is describing unfortunately

[@gregquinn7817]

Now I know how to feel about his drug issues. Thanks....

[@harrisonwintergreen1147]

my wife works at a nursing home. Peterson is correct about that guideline: don't do things for residents, unless they are incapable of doing things for themselves. when giving assistance, offer the minimal level of help to accomplish the task.

[@harrissimo]

Excellent video. Very important ideas and wisdom here.

[@omnamahshivaaay]

Some great pearls of wisdom by JP Awesome🙏👏

[@fabianfischer4229]

JP basically has the same viewpunk as Kreia from KotOR II: "Be careful of charity and kindness, lest you do more hearm with open hands than with a clenched fist."

[@storiedworlds6261]

“Some truth isn’t the same as all the truth.” Damn right.

[@andiemorgan961]

Yet again it all comes down to that ol' adage, "everything in moderation". It ain't rocket science.😄

[@ValkyrissaGaming]

Too much empathy and too much compassion breed weakness and vulnerability.

[@Bonesph]

Same with too many benzos..

[@zerothehero123]

This guy is a fucking genius!

[@strsocerplaya9]

It's not personally. It's values and priorities that filter the facts.

[@7Metal7Monkey7]

2:46 That's exactly how I turned out...

[@jujubean8645]

Exactly. You have to keep people in line.

[@missionpupa]

Keep people in line? What are you a communist

[@1-4Fun]

There may be a correlation between agreeableness and empathy but it isn't always so. I, for example, test extremely high on openness and empathy but low on agreeableness. So agreeableness and empathy are not the same thing although closely linked.

[@essentialtruth2784]

Interesting. What do you test as in the MBTI? Thinker (T) or Feeler (F)?

[@maxitaxiish]

Maria Liberti yeah I totally agree

[@devalpatel8816]

When people are hell bent on making me agreeable to something that is deeply different in me from them, I just can't agree and I empathize for their effort. Lol.

[@zaxbitterzen2178]

There is such thing as being too "forgiving" or "understanding"

[@VAISHALIMeadows]

I feel bad for doing bad things to bad people , I feel like I can put myself in their shoes and feel those emotions

[@Thomasianwood]

“There are no facts only interpretations” - Nietzsche

[@felixfussel8573]

"Do not do anything for the people that you are taking care of that they can do for themselves" - if they are struggling to do a task let them struggle. Like this, you foster their long-term independence

[@SliszMeisterGeneral]

I mean, we all agree he's the smartest person on the planet right now?

[@zzzeina3566]

Wouft this was well needed. In one my creative writing classes, the professor makes students change their writing if it’s not politically correct. Like even with minor things such as a character calling an adult woman a girl. Like sheesh. Characters don’t have to be politically correct. And I mostly call grown women girls because it feels more natural, even though I am one.

[@SweetDreamsLB]

2:50 i identify as an example

[@cmonleechamone9766]

Don't be too nice......Fucking Groundbreaking.

[@mosheahvows5071]

0:58 someone got a hit marker on JP

[@FreDDioh]

Haha dude

[@mosheahvows5071]

@@FreDDioh XD plz tell me u hear it

[@FreDDioh]

@@mosheahvows5071 yes he got 360° no-scoped

[@jkerr4167]

brilliant! So much depth and truth in such a small video.

[@mautse7120]

Activists by Proxy. Hahaha, that’s a good one.

[@asktheetruscans9857]

Greta

[@minervagalvez4748]

BE FAIR. WITH ALL PEOPLE. FACTS.

[@Brand00d]

2:20 who the hell interrupts to comment something as pointless, or anything at all, during someone else's speech. This guy just thinks out loud as if he's the only one there

[@maplenook]

Brandon maybe he had asked the question. Let’s not judge

[@willek1335]

Brandon

[@bonnieperusse3858]

I have been making people do for themselves so they don't lose their abilities and didn't even realize that was a thing.

[@EuphoniaPooch]

Compassion doesn't lead directly to helicopter parenting and it's a crazy leap to say so. You use compassion (correctly) to see what would be best for someone by using recognition of their feelings and understanding of their experience to lead you back to a LOGICAL action/inaction that would benefit them most deeply. What he goes on to describe as being hard hearted is in fact compassion because it recognizes that letting the burdened individual help themselves is what they need to remain functional. It's tough love, but it's still compassion. To some extent I feel he is maligning the concept of compassion here.