Signs You're Dealing With a Narcissist

[@beckee6282]

The worst feeling when you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse is when nobody believes you because they’re so good at hiding their true selves. They only let go of their mask in front of their victims, so everybody else who knows them thinks you’re the crazy one. “He’s so nice to me though! He would never do that!” But he did, to me. You just don’t see the real him like I do

[@nisha8500]

I was there .. he manipulated my family so well , nobody believed me

[@sebastienbolduc5654]

The goal is not proving to anyone what the person is like. That's the end goal of a narcissist, to get you stuck in that circle of trying to defend yourself/credibility. If you see garbage do you role around in it? I heard a saying along the lines of, "Don't wrestle with a pig. You'll get dirty and the pig likes it." Walk away and/or create boundaries. It takes time and patience. And trust me, your patience will be tested! You won't always get it right but you'll get better at it. The people who don't believe you are the narcissists flying monkeys, or are narcissists themselves to some degree or another. Narcissists also tend to attract other narcissists. They prop each other up. Also keep your private life, and those whom you know, at arms length from these people. That's part of the boundary making. That way they cannot manipulate their narrative of you to those which whom you know. With time you'll figure out their game.

[@Trashpanda888]

@@sebastienbolduc5654 For me, the time it took to figure out their game and learn to establish boundaries.. the damage was already done. I was a shell of myself and I'm ashamed that I let myself stoop that low over a man. Never again will I ever allow a man or anyone else to have that much power and control over me. Never again..

[@kw25627]

My ex had two sides. Our friends had only met one.

[@tedwilson1477]

More people know than you think, its just they are sheep and dont want to be isolated or abused. The closer the people are to the narc, the more they will know. They are called enablers, or more accurately, cowards. aDistant friends and family members who only occasionally see the public mask wont know.

[@Razear]

What's scary is that you don't truly know what someone's character is actually like unless you get to know them well enough over an extended period. But even then, those who are expert manipulators can put on a false persona in public while transforming into a totally different person behind closed doors.

[@mscir]

My neighbor did a number on me and some othe rneighbors after years of having a friendly, grantedly in his favor, relationship. I as amazed that i didn't see it coming. Now I don't trust anybody.

[@aeHyde]

or marry them.

[@Spaltyslife]

And thats why i stay single😂

[@IFS2023]

There are always signs, red flags.

[@mscir]

@@aeHyde Ouch.

[@KatherineGrey-pz9on]

Trust your gut. That knot that you always have in the pit of your stomach. The overthinking you have to do about every conversation or interaction. The thinking through how you’re going to have a conversation to get them to notice you or understand you… All of it is not normal. They will tell you that you’re overreacting or dramatic. They will tell you that you’re being overly sensitive… But you’re spot on. Give yourself time to analyze and unpack the turmoil/living hell you lived in, but don’t live in the analyzing . I continued, and still continue, to realize… Oh… So this was all part of the narcissism too… it is so deep and sick that you could spend the rest of your life analyzing and unpacking it. You have to give your thinking some boundaries. I actually had to set a timer and tell myself… OK you get an hour to think about this today and then you’re doing what is on your agenda. Oh… and… make yourself an agenda or list and DO IT …. Sometimes I had to force myself just to brush my teeth and get a shower… But you must stick to some sort of schedule. Forgive yourself for being vulnerable. I couldn’t get over the 23 years I had wasted. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being smarter and stronger quicker. I had to remind myself that I was the perfect match. As an only child of older parents, I was younger when they died and I had no family. His family became my family and he knew he had me. I had to remember my intentions were good and decent and God will honor what I did. I wanted to keep the family together and believe that no one could be as evil as his actions were showing me. Make safe changes. You don’t want to make big changes like changing jobs or moving across the country, although there are people that have no choice and have to do this. But make small changes like your hair color. Drive a different way to work. Wear a different style. As much as possible… spoil yourself. Do what you need to make yourself feel pretty or handsome. Order the decadent chocolate cake. Never feel ashamed. I remember that some people treated me like I was that homeless person that they felt sorry for but if they didn’t look it would all go away. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The beautiful part about it is I found out who really does care about me. You don’t have to have a lot of blood relatives to have family. You will find the people that mean the most; There will be loyal friends who you can let yourself be raw with… let it happen. Do no start looking for a relationship! I initially remember feeling as though I had to go out with people to feel desirable and flattered. I was in no way ready to be a partner to anyone until I could tell myself “You still got it girl!” and really believe it. NEVER look back or second guess yourself! It will never get better if you go back. And they will try to get you back. There’s never break up with a narcissist. As long as you allow it, they will continually try to get in touch with you and lead up to begging you to come back. It feels flattering but it is empty and meaningless. My ex-husband who ended up with a very young girl who has emotional and mental problems (I was her mentor in our church) has recently tried to ask me to give him just “one more chance” 5 days after the girl broke up with him. Every single time he did this In the past, The forgive me speech and crying was the same and his behavior was even worse with each time I went back. This is an addiction for you.. not love and addiction is hard to kick. Speaking of addiction… be careful not to pick up any others … pills, alcohol, shopping Train your thoughts. Don’t let the tail wag the dog. When you start to go down that path of negative thoughts and telling yourself life is going to be forever gloom and doom, remember that being apart from this monster is THE BEGINNING of a new life and the pain will lift. You were more alone and in danger with them than away from them. That’s it… buoy…. Ya! Take care of yourself. This healing needs all the healthy habits you can muster. When you’re feeling as though you’re having a strong moment, and you will see a pattern of times that you feel a bit stronger, pre-plan meals so that when you’re feeling really bad all you have to do is get in the refrigerator and heat something up. Put toothpaste on the brush so all you have to do is pick it up. Take melatonin to get rest. Take vitamins/supplements. NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT…. Forever… you are doing this to heal not to get a reaction out of them or try to get them to love you. Keep talking to other survivors and remember that you are just that… A SURVIVOR. There will come a day that you will be helping others. Never feel bad for them. My ex-husband‘s mask has finally come off and he can’t keep the façade up anymore. It is pathetic. My adult children know not to discuss what is going on with him with me and I don’t ask. Don’t ask!!! They will look for every opportunity to tug on your heartstrings. Don’t wallow in thinking they are happy. They are desperately unhappy. They will never be happy and will delight in any weakness they see in you, so again…. ZERO ZILCH CONTACT or GRAY ROCK flat, noncommittal tone with as few words as possible. Count your blessings I remember looking at everybody around me and thinking how happy and lucky everybody else looked. Everybody has stuff going on. Yours is just super big at the moment. So look for blessings . I thanked God for little things that weren’t so little… a job close to home, my frig worked, I didn’t catch a cold from my first grade class (again.. take care of yourself). Some days it seemed ludicrous that there was a blessing, but sometimes the blessings were the things God Prevented from happening. Keep track of your progress. Three years away from my husband, looking back at my journey, I cannot believe how far God has brought me. You will be a new, better version of you if you don’t let the tail wag the dog. Knowledge is power. Read everything you can about this but again… Set boundaries for yourself… don’t stay stuck Boundaries boundaries boundaries I started to realize that I didn’t have boundaries set for myself at all. It was easy for people to tell me the way it was going to be and just assume that it would just be that way without me standing up for myself. Find confidence in putting your needs and emotional health first. You are not being selfish. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.

[@Kabelo.mp3]

All of this is so sad, nobody chooses to be a narcissist, nobody chooses to be a psychopath. Instead of getting people help everyone chooses to vilify them. That to me is worse. Why not videos on how they can cope with being a narcissist and become better people.

[@hallucinatiing]

ok i had to skim it a little but i love your awareness and ability to reflect. its hard to admit that we absorbed narcisstic traits like a sponge, and theyre not for us directly theyre for us to say, "inner voice i aint taking that shit!" because the biggest deception is thinking ur not decieving yourself. nice introspection! i like seeing how people overcome they're psychological challenges

[@real_talk8749]

Thats a book for no reason. Professor Sam Vaknin is THE authority on narcissism. He wrote the book that changed everything in 1995. This guy has no clue what he is talking about

[@ElisabethFassbender]

Huge thank you ! Long but so good and true.

[@lafountain653]

Thank you

[@MrLathor]

Biggest red flag is how they treat you privately vs how they treat you in front of others. They will shape shift to provide the best outcome to them.

[@christinabond8900]

Yep. That was my ex. He was charming, funny, friendly, etc in public. In private, not most of the time. He was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

[@TechWiz1983]

After the Covid 19 pandemic, I realized that a very small # of people are psychologically stable. And this # is decreasing steadily. It is very heartbreaking.

[@Arthera0]

ow yeah its very apparent to me. i cant find a psychologist/psychiatrists because i am not suicidal. the system is so strained

[@85yugs]

At least 50% of the US population is stable. They're voting Trump.

[@WtK-bu7cx]

Lol well how attention deficit is canada for british columbia to be in 400,000 jobs loss.

[@lkae4]

None is righteous. Some book says that. So old books are right and humanism is wrong. Hm.

[@TechWiz1983]

@lkae4 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind... Because perfect as my Father is perfect. Some book also says that.

[@datahoundhunter]

How fortunate these students were to have him as an instructor. Such insight and wisdom from this, great man

[@russianbot4418]

Thanks to these videos we all have that privilege now.

[@ivanangeli]

@@russianbot4418 imagine the forthsight of recording his lectures

[@MIMO-M8Z]

His support of Trump broke my heart. Trump’s character goes against everything he’s been preaching all these years. What happened? If it was Tammy or Mikaela he assaulted, or put into financial ruin by not paying what he owed them, would he still support him? I’m not trying to criticise, I truly just want to understand why. 💔

[@russianbot4418]

@@MIMO-M8Z Why do you all lie about every thing now? what do you think it gains you?

[@MIMO-M8Z]

@ FACT: He is a convicted felon.

[@azariahouseoftruthllc]

A lot of time you don't know what you're dealing with until you move in together

[@sinepari9160]

No, 1-3 years until you move in together. You'll figure them out in that time. If they can't handle that, believe me, you're better without them. One year minimum.

[@kristakane8613]

I think a good measure is to see if his actions match his words.

[@Train-threw-it]

Right

[@cwdoby]

this is it right there. once they shed that mask its nuts. you don't even realize what is going on and how wrapped up you get into it. like getting a web woven around you that is so discreet and light you don't even feel it then you finally decide something is wrong and decide to leave, and realize you are completely wrapped in this web. And you look at that narc and you see that sinister sadistic crooked smile. This is when it goes BOOM.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Don’t move in with anyone until you know who they are.

[@christinabond8900]

My ex was/is a narcissistic sociopath. Yet, he fooled me and others into thinking he was this great, kind, funny, friendly, helpful person. Yet, once we got married, he slowly began showing his true self. He was like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. And the older he got, the worse he/his temper got. He especially became worse once I finally realized what and who he was and began standing up for myself. The abuse was verbal, emotional, and financial. However, once he reached the point of threatening me by saying he was going to break my arm (over something stupid), that's when I told him we were done, to go file for the divorce. I moved out 3 months later. Our divorce was finalized a few months later. That was in May 2020. In December of that year I moved to a city about 3 hrs away (so I wouldn't have to worry about running into him just about everywhere I went in that small town and having to put up with him berating me in public until I was able to get away from him) and started a new chapter in my life.

[@christinabond8900]

@CynthiaGalant-z9d Thank you. Since my divorce, I have reconnected with my childhood sweetheart (who himself is divorced from an abusive spouse like my ex), moved to the new city I already mentioned, moved in with and became a couple with said childhood sweetheart, we have fur babies (dogs), and we recently became engaged. I'm finally genuinely happy now.

[@Poolajo3814]

Good for you. Who wants that? Life is way to short for insanity, drama; and especially deal breakers like violence.

[@christinaleija1627]

This is heaven sent valuable information. My husband is a narcissist. And no one believes me.

[@NoName-nq8vc]

Well if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions

[@indust64]

He may be under the impression that women like narcissistic behavior, perhaps or perhaps not just an idea.

[@Gabby-c4x]

​@@NoName-nq8vc 👈 Here's one now!! Have a Narcy Day!! 🤡

[@MsKyrakitty]

Wow, the first two comments you got were people just ‘blaming the victim.’ That sucks. Girl I’ve been there, married to someone who’s been manipulating you. It’s so hard to prove! And they don’t change so if you need to leave then please leave (safely).

[@thistles]

Run. There’s no fixing them.

[@tungstenanderson5991]

Interestingly enough, what he says about .."that was a long time ago" reigns very true. What's very telling is how someone who is a narcissist, scoffs at all their lies, betrayals, misdeeds etc...but will bring up that "one time" they did something nice for you a long time ago, that was just what anyone would do and holds that up as the holy grail of how great they are. They certainly don't use the phrase "that was a long a time ago" for that. The lack of self awareness is breathtaking.

[@TechWiz1983]

@tungstenanderson5991 This sounds exactly like you both rub each other the wrong way. INTENTIONALLY. The question that needs to be asked is WHY? Sounds like one party was very nasty to the other and ended up hurting their feelings A LOT while it was completely uncalled for. A failure of healthy communication is the only end result, sadly. Some people are horrible with emotional intelligence. They simply don't know how to communicate their feelings at all. Their mind is a child like mind forever. It never changes. No matter what.

[@tungstenanderson5991]

It wasn't all about me as you assume and ignorantly wrote "intentionally" in all caps. Stop mind reading, which is a Satanic call.

[@web_jar6630]

With increasing knowledge and awareness around narcissism, the narcissistic psychopaths are bound to fail miserably 😁

[@dreamscape405]

Not really. This society is set up for them to succeed. And with the rise of narcissistic traits now days, it's only getting worse.

[@n0b0d1-rc6dz]

They will adapt. How do you know Peterson isn’t a NPD?

[@web_jar6630]

@@n0b0d1-rc6dz Manipulation is not adaptation, it's sheer deception 😁. If they were really capable they would actually adapt to face reality, not hide behind a mask for seeking attention. I know that the narcissists feel 'good for nothing' and 'missing out on life', almost like a helpless child when they are alone in a room. They're right to feel that, and it won't change until they choose to work on themselves 😎

[@CH-kr2df]

I’m suspecting that they are frequently the ones commenting on videos talking about how they’ve been victimized. Like someone said, they adapt.

[@web_jar6630]

@@CH-kr2df No where in the comment did anyone talk about being 'victimized'. As usual the narcissists who keep shoving down the shame are going nowhere 🙂

[@tomachibald]

Informative video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@deboralaw-on9od]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

[@tomachibald]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/her?

[@deboralaw-on9od]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@tomachibald]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@mathulbasaur]

Seek the Kingdom of God We all need Jesus Christ ❤️ The channel “No greater Love” has helped me in getting started. Witchcraft is not the answer. God bless you friend in Jesus name amen 🙏

[@KristenMelinda47]

Generally speaking, I am tiring of the plethora of self-styled experts on narcissism and psychopathy. THIS however, was useful and insightful. Thank you.

[@tinalaursen8993]

I am not sure about the average psychopath but I suspect you have more than a few narcissists around you without knowing it. One of their main skills is enlisting others to do or support their dirty work. These types are masters at finding people who they can use. Simply put, if a narcissist can't use you to their advantage you won't be in their life. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists are more prevalent and I suspect cause more harm as the majority of their victims likely don't even know what has happened to them. 😟😢

[@SirSpence99]

Sadly the guy in blue is only using the pop-psych definition which does bear a passing resemblance to the actual illness but very little. Everything Peterson said appears correct however.

[@benguensche]

i think we need a new word. The word "narcissism" has become as vague as the word "energy"

[@tinalaursen8993]

@@benguensche I think it is important not to confuse narcissism (a trait) with a narcissist (a personality). If it helps I can expand on this type of person. They are petty, vindicate, manipulative, malevolent evil humans who use others maliciously with no regret.

[@SirSpence99]

@@tinalaursen8993 Narcissist is not a personality, it is a personality disorder. There is evidence it can be "cured". For the most part, narcissism is literally the base assumption you are responsible for everything happening, all of the symptoms are a natural consequence of that assumption and can be split into two primary camps based upon personality types. The evidence so far indicates that about 1/4 of the population is vulnerable to developing narcissism (1/4 borderline, 1/4 histrionic and 1/4 anti-social personality disorder, you can predict which one a person is likely to develop based upon their personality type) and of that 1/4, half react one primary way, the other half another. As for your description, any of the four personality disorders I listed can result in that type of person, though that tends to be more narcissism and anti-social PD than the other two.

[@jaytheexplorer9016]

The root of this is the worship of subjective reality vs. worship of objective reality. Narcissists have realized that they can accumulate considerable, tangible results by manipulating others' subjective reality (perspective).

[@Xenophanes198]

This is incredibly accurate and insightful. Great comment.

[@SatumainenOlento]

Great comment! Well said!

[@53Strat]

Well said, when I realised this after dating a woman for almost 3 months I walked away. She was so mad about my stoicism and calm behaviour, trying to understand my perspective. It was all to manipulate me. Now she became a christian lol after being lonely she told me but I avoid her.

[@real_talk8749]

"Subjective reality" sorry that doesnt exist. Its called a fantasy. If it is not fantasy to the narcissist its not reality. If only you people stop listening to narcissism Jr over here peterson and listened to the GOAT aka professor sam vaknin

[@real_talk8749]

They do not manipulate your perspective, they get you to become part of a shared fantasy. YOU PEOPLE NEED TO PUT DOWN THE KOOLAID...

[@marigoldcarter5995]

I'm older now and the narcissits in my family are worse than ever! Thanks professor! I'm ready for them now. I was clueless to the level of manipulation in my own family! I try to cue my kids in but they don't believe me. They are under the toxic spell of the manipulators! Ugghh!

[@Puppylove82-gv3gm]

Keep your kids away from them!

[@yowwwwie]

that last bit where Jordan is describing how these psychopaths have identified and are pursuing elderly persons for financial gain gave me chills....... יוי

[@susanwjoh0re735]

yet he uses very impresionable young men for his financial benefits, but that does not give you chills because he is jordan peterson.

[@yowwwwie]

@@susanwjoh0re735 I have 2 sons who are not at all impressionable, are fathers, husbands and businessmen. If you actually listened to the program, rather than reacted to the subject...it is a scary thought that predators are committing crimes. יוי

[@HeIljumper]

​@@susanwjoh0re735 You think giving inspiring lectures to young people is the same thing as scamming elderly people? Weird

[@Woodburner100]

@@susanwjoh0re735 His business is similar to but much more valuable than entertainers. But with an entertainer you just get some entertainment but with Jordan Peterson you pay your money and in return you receive intensely valuable content that you can choose to either use in your life or merely to go on muddling day by day as before. He’s definitely not preying on anyone. Quite the contrary actually

[@susanwjoh0re735]

@@HeIljumper "You think giving inspiring lectures to young people ' you must be like 16. he is not inspiring nobody. he is telling people especially easily impressionable young men how to live their lives. that humorless constipated boomer has no say in how men should live because he is mentally stuck in the 70s.

[@johnmartlew5897]

My sister was very animated and jovial when she was the topic of conversation. When the talk was about my wife and I she became sullen, quiet, picked her fingers and if we were out side standing as a group, she would actually walk away from us. We were not excluding her but building on a sense of sharing mutual ideas. When I asked why she left she thought the conversation was over.

[@andreagrazianodibenedetto1464]

Thinking the conversation is over as soon as it's not revolving around you is one hell of a way to go.

[@RenegadeContext]

Before you diagnose do a differential. There are many reasons for individual behaviours. A diagnosis has to contain multiple behaviours in multiple areas of life. It's possible she just doesn't like your wife and is rude about it or maybe she's autistic and doesn't get that aspect of conversation. Or she's a narcissist, without doing a full differential and excluding other diagnosis you won't know. Best to leave it to professionals. If it bothers you talk to her

[@johnmartlew5897]

@@RenegadeContext Nice guess work. I’m not diagnosing anything. I shared a repeated behaviour of hers that I experienced alone or with others over decades. She was in and out of failed counselling most of her adult life. Read into it what works for ya. Or, try listening to the video again.

[@gregoryreynolds3612]

It could be that you're just boring.

[@RenegadeContext]

@@johnmartlew5897 there was no need to be rude. I offered suggestions it was not an exhaustive list. I can see why she walks away from you now. You're pretty damn sensitive. Maybe you're both the problem

[@starnue9389]

A lot of time narcissists don’t know what they’re doing is bad. They may even think it’s good, because they can’t distinguish progress between their status and real action.

[@kevinschulz9770]

So do all the others whobare naive, low IQ etc.

[@fishraposo7192]

Struggling with NPD sucks for both yourself and everyone around you. It's like having your brain wired in a way that it prioritizes your image over everything else, either yourself or other people.

[@rogeliorodriguez8518]

They know, they just don’t care.

[@SirSpence99]

This is the key thing, they genuinely believe they are responsible for whatever it is that happened. Therefore they ought to get credit if it is good. If it is bad, they shift blame hard. I strongly disagree with the guy in the blue shirt. He is relying on pop-psych which only acknowledges grandiose narcissism. The thing about narcissism is that it often switches from grandiose to the other forms depending upon circumstances, rather like bipolar. The other factor is that the idea that because someone wants attention that makes them a narcissist is incredibly foolish. There are many reason to want attention that have nothing to do with a mental illness, many of them are a requirement if you are in a high position, let alone president. Therefore anyone with any competence will disregard those metrics (which are correlated with narcissism) as not doing so is near certain to lead you in the wrong direction. Additionally, you rarely can diagnose a mental illness through public appearances, you must rely on private appearances. (This is why an in person interview is so important.)

[@MsKyrakitty]

@@starnue9389 they know it’s bad… that’s why they abuse in private and not in public.

[@BlackWingedSeraphX]

100% right on catching dismissiveness.

[@smashhimmungo5798]

THEY WILL DESTROY THEMSELVES ! ❤

[@VondaInWonderland]

I'm an older single woman and completely concur with the fact that there are phycopaths all around watching and waiting. They come back periodically to see if we might give them another chance. Their tenacious malevolence is chilling at least.

[@Ebvardh]

I mean… learn the lesson.

[@bereal6590]

Psychopathy is actually low, narcissism in the population is far higher add in aspd and you have a malignant narcissist.

[@Roseberrylove]

I love this kind of content. I love the old Jordan stuff

[@DisturbedBurger]

4:45 An author I follow refers to narcissistic supply as 'fuel', and speaks of it like a drug addiction, and that makes a lot of sense.

[@mikelee9886]

The older talks about psychopaths were my favorite back in the day, I still watch them frequently. I think the first video I saw of Jordan's was the one about Paul Bernatto (sp?), sometime around 2016, and I was hooked after that.

[@susanwjoh0re735]

yet peterson would not about himself being a psycho.

[@nigelsenchez]

I agree i miss old Jordan. Now he simps for Trump the Narcissitic psychopath.

[@susanwjoh0re735]

@@nigelsenchez trump will save the country from woke bs and peterson still a humorless smuck mentally stuck in the 70s.

[@davidkeulen7006]

What a man. What a mind. Truly thankful for dr Peterson's presence in the same short period I'm alive on this earth.

[@samikatz826]

*My step sister had me fooled for years.. she exploited me, my intellectually disabled brother who she used as her personal servant & mother in order to achieve what she wanted. I branched off and did my own thing.. lived on my own.. I could always feel she despised me for it because she couldn’t take advantage of my money and use me whenever she pleased. The only reason she use to come visit me was because of my mother. As soon as my mother died from breast cancer.. she took my brother, moved house and I’ve not seen them since. (Also she chucked my mother in hospital months before she died, she could still walk around and talk, but she just let her rot in a hospital while she was working from home). A day before my mother passed I spoke to her on the phone, I said I’m taking u out of hospital & you can stay with me.. we can go to the beach and have fish and chips. The 1st thing she said “I don’t want to be a burden to you”. I said I don’t care if I have to wipe ya damn arse. I wish I have done it sooner. -But I was frightened of my step sister. 😢 My step sister always treated me like I was a piece of dirt. And belittled me constantly because I had mental health problems and PTSD. It’s almost like she had “disappearing” planned for years.*

[@peterthepilot4413]

Same happened to me exactly!

[@heretodaygonetomaui3567]

Happens ... often ... in most families.

[@Poolajo3814]

God bless you. My greatest honor in life was taking care of my Mother when she needed me. I have regrets however I was not better.

[@voiletwhitehorse]

My sister I thought was my best friend,until she abandoned me for a codependent relationship

[@oar-N-oasis]

They are like Satan disguise themselves as an angel of light but you will always know them by thier fruits. Stay vigilant.

[@4514rooster]

Kinda like when a thief tells himself before he steals something that it should have been secured better and he wouldn’t be able to take it.

[@janebraun4482]

That is the pathology, your own fault they did it!

[@JulesB93]

At the beginning of the relationship, the Narcissist will typically rush physical intimacy and shower you with attention, praise, and gifts. This is rooted in their fear of rejection/abandonment. They think they need to perform and be perfect for you, or you'll leave. They have a distorted belief that love is earned and are trying to constantly prove to people they are good and worthy. Behind the mask, they actually believe they are unlovable and worthless. Imagine how much invalidation/trauma someone suffered from their caregivers to end up like this that they now project it in every future relationship.

[@AngelfromGenX]

Fastest way to find out you're dealing with a narcissist is to correct them. They'll immediately tell you 4 million reasons they're not wrong, and when you don't accept that, they'll be angry. Correct them a second time on the same thing, after you backed down the first time, they're ready to fight, physically.

[@MudeerSultan]

Ur words speak the steaming truth.Exactly, this is how I found my wife is a raw narccist, flesh and blood !!

[@brettcordes3602]

Or criticize something they did. Even humbled, constructive criticism will be viewed as an unprovoked personal attack that constitutes “abuse.”

[@AngelfromGenX]

@brettcordes3602 Even when they've blatantly and obviously lied about something, they HAD to lie about it because of how YOU are, or some other bullsh they make up. Never falls. Correct them, reveal a weakness, or catch them at something and you will get destroyed for it.

[@lucylightwave5211]

My mother's ex was / is a narcissist. He would test an idea by saying it then if my mother or the other person didn't latch onto it then he would laugh and say "just kidding". He made out that he had a lot of legal experience and was seen as a lawyer... Totally false. He would try to destroy the reputation and credibility of the person who called out his lies and grandiosity. Absolute... (You can imagine this word).

[@Dude0000]

TWA Tea?

[@joeyfigueroa4748]

It’s sad, really. I just got out of a relationship with a narcissist. I was heavily in love with this girl. I should’ve listened to the red flags. Trust me, everyone in her life, and mine, made it clear to me. I remember I texted her father a message and his opening words to me weren’t “Be safe with my daughter” or “Wear protection”. His opening words were: “She has burnt my bridges. I won’t talk bad about her, but you’ll see. You’ll see who she really is and her true colors.” That’s just one of many examples of red flags clearly waving right in front of me that I should’ve listened to.

[@scott6430]

That’s crazy… mine had a father that would drop or say things too. “She’s a real bullshitter” “She loves to hear herself talk, doesn’t she” also things like whenever she got something like her most recent dog “I guess I’ll meet him, he’ll be ours soon enough”. Things like that. I wish that father pulled me aside though and told me to run. Sometimes queues aren’t picked up but I remember all the small stuff now.

[@AdamTheTruthSeeker]

Dr. Romani is an expert on this topic. That's her whole channel. She breaks EVERYTHING down.

[@jessemontano762]

this JBP i truly miss. The golden days

[@Suzanne-t3l]

I'm starting to think everyone is a narcissist. I don't like taking pictures of myself or being in pictures really.

[@Cookson66]

Narcissism is on a spectrum, healthy narcissism is fine it’s what gives us some self confidence.. however it’s disordered narcissism at the extreme that it becomes a problem. The personality disorder isn’t the same as healthy narcissism. Everyone can display some traits but that’s because humans suck in general ..

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

Everyone is not a narcissist. Thete are balanced people in the world. I only know of two; one is covert ( female), and the other is overt ( male).

[@Poolajo3814]

The culture of the times promotes it to unprecedented levels....social media stars and influences and wannabes is what I'm thinking particularly.

[@Magnetic_001]

Theres a saying: game recognises game; it doesn't mean you're a psychopath for anyone who's wondering, it means that life's a game and it has winners and losers the winners practise and those who don't lose.

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@AnjeloValeriano]

dr.zachary3 is the man

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

On Instagram?

[@AnjeloValeriano]

Yes

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Psychedelic is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself.

[@carollen5601]

greetings Dr Peterson, "narcissism" my favorite topic! 😘

[@adorable_anarchy2]

You never know someone until you try to leave them

[@Selan-hp7yd]

I miss this Jordan Peterson

[@raminrouchi202]

What he says about the internet making it easier to be psychopathic is profound. Being a psychopath has a price for their behavior. That price is no longer a price online because there is zero fear of retribution so people think they can say whatever they want and can.

[@PsychomikeIV]

I feel like he is so right about the inflationary narcissism part. Now that he says it, I definitely feel like that is something I see in many competent people in society where they keep asking for more attention even after getting well earned attention. It is like some unavoidable cancer but I don't want to believe that

[@ignaceagossou715]

This one is great thanks for explanations Prof!

[@AdamTheTruthSeeker]

It's wild how you can take that phrase " Don't dream its over" both ways.

[@junevandermark952]

Thanks for honoring free speech. We are all governed by ego ... and that means that we are all narcissists.

[@burtlangoustine1]

Does narcissism survive the 'death' of the ego?

[@junevandermark952]

@@burtlangoustine1 From my perspective as an Atheist ... when brain cells all die ... the ego dies. No soul ... no travel ... no afterlife. I relate to the following words compiled by Joe Hill … who many believed was executed for a crime that he didn’t commit. The will of Joe Hill My will is easy to decide For there is nothing to divide My kin don't need to fuss and moan Moss does not cling to a rolling stone. My body? - Oh - if I could choose I would to ashes it reduce And let the merry breezes blow My dust to where some flowers grow Perhaps some fading flower then Would come to life and bloom again This is my Last and final Will Good Luck to All of you Joe Hill

[@junevandermark952]

@@burtlangoustine1 When people that believe in an afterlife have near death "experiences" ... they are often fooled into believing that their "souls" have left their material bodies and that the "souls" have then decided to return to the dead bodies ... bringing the material bodies "back to life." ... when the brain cells in the bodies were not dead at all ... but rather were traumatized briefly ... and had once again become "active." From Prime television, on the program "Science of Death," came the following words (verbatim). "Hours, even days, after the official death of their owner, stem cells, protected deep within the brain are still alive. Even after a week after death has been pronounced, they possess the power to heal disease in a living person." Had Raymond A. Moody coined the term “Near death hallucinations,” rather than “Near death experiences,” he would not have had any following ... because people don't take hallucinations as being worthy of their investment of faith. Raymond A. Moody, Jr. (born June 30, 1944) is a philosopher, psychologist, physician and author, most widely known for his books about life after death and near-death experiences (NDE), a term that he coined in 1975 in his best-selling book Life After Life.

[@hopeinhumanity.]

“They tend to get taken out, it just takes some time for it to happen”. I believe this. It’s as if god gives them many good things to see what they do with it. They inevitably allow their false sense of power and overconfidence to overrule them. As the saying goes “what goes up, must come down”. In the sense of evil- The higher the rise, the more impactful the fall will be.

[@BuyBBStonk]

I'm not a narcissist, I'm actually the most reasonable person of all time.

[@lorab1912]

I called 911 he pulled phone out of wall I ran to kitchen when 911 called back & answered she heard play by play as he ran upstairs changed into long sleeve Steve Jobs black ong sleeve top called cops Dude .... Never arrested & one year later I got a one year protection order he & his mom broke those orders. One year later he took my children my home. Twenty years later I'm disgusted with Seattle Court counseling & lawyers.

[@skyrat3816]

"A bunch of guys can get together, when there's not a lot of ego stuff." That stands out to me when it comes to socialising and something I've noticed in social groups. Whether it's an evening at the pub or a social gathering at a mate's flat, things always go astray when an ego acts out and is someone who is referred as "the king dick" by someone who I used to knock around with, and ironically it was mostly them who acted out the most. Drink was always involved to ease everyone's anxieties and make them comfortable. Usually the ego stuff would come out later in the evening when a lot of alcohol has been consumed, but what or who can bring out ego's was when a person with a reputation enters the room or a woman or more joins the group. Then the dynamic of the the bromance drastically changes into something that's uncomfortable and awkward soon as the games start.

[@GimbalLocksOnly]

I can confirm everything you mentioned. Whats even weirder than a group of men completely shapeshifting when women appear is trying to stop yourself from doing so as well.

[@matthewhopkinson7389]

Machiavelli wasn't a narcissistic or bad person. His observations suggest that nice guys finish last from what he has witnessed. He's leaving it to you to decide which path to follow, shows both options and the likely outcome of that decision from his experiences . Poor interpretation of Machiavelli

[@SammytheStampede]

The whole "that was a long time ago- we've moved past that!" is only "acceptable" when the "ending" sentence has been carried out.

[@David.5035]

Huh?

[@MarjaKorpisaari-v3o]

Like a child want obsession, a narcisst need to get people fear them.

[@knaw35]

What happened if narcissistic man meets narcissistic woman?

[@patrikmelkersson7825]

Generally they don’t mix well. Both of them are driven by how you can mannipulate your other people. If a narcisisst runs in to another narcisisst, they can’t use them, so they move on inertly. If they have to work together on something, they probably explode because they both try to steal each others success

[@Unkindled13]

They probably get along really well until one or both of them can no longer take from the other

[@roguelegend4945]

they have a great time for a few months until the money runs out... then they end up on the streets, but they sure did enjoy those few months they had together...

[@roguelegend4945]

the sex chemistry is amazing..

[@russianbot4418]

You get my dad and his idiot second wife. They will burn their own world down around themselves rather than ever admit they are wrong about something so obvious a child can see it.

[@electricanomaly]

excellent and insightful. Thank you

[@DarkLight-Ascending]

There's a spectrum of narcissism.

[@nothingnew765]

There is a point where someone has NPD though. Usually when the child creates an imaginary friend that becomes their false-self, which they worship.

[@sinepari9160]

That is very true. There's a 'spectrum' of all mental illnesses.

[@dessy87]

I feel so knowledgeable now that it's making me nervous cause I notice this in certain people I convers with constantly and I'm taking self klnote to evaluate myself as well, just to be on the safe side. Well, just keep learning & growing.

[@russianbot4418]

If you are self-aware enough to have concerns with your actions, you are not a narcissist.

[@JohnSmith-yc6uv]

​@@russianbot4418 Came to say this very thing.

[@taa64777]

Note to self; stop responding to social media chatroom trolls, it only feeds their sick mindset.

[@djizzah]

A lot of narcissist traits are useful for management, in life it doesn't matter what you say, as long as you look confident when you say it, that's the trick, just ask any politician

[@FlowerBoots]

The fact that this video title came from Peterson is HILARIOUS!

[@jvssocialmedia2459]

Having dealt with a clinical psychopath, and someone with strong narcissistic traits (unsure if the latter was ever clinically diagnosed, but ticked off all of the boxes), I am concerned with lay people deciding on those labels for individuals who probably aren't actually narcissistic or psychopathic. Comparing those I dealt with to others receiving the label(s) by some is so stark in contrast that I can't help but think some people are not good judges. You can harm someone by sharing your label.

[@FickleTarts]

I’m borderline my mom doesn’t know she’s a narcissist. Hello nice to meet you

[@josieb3238]

And yet you said you believe Trump should be reelected.

[@bereal6590]

The covert vulnerable narcissist telling everyone else qhat a narcissist is. The irony and entitlement of this man is off the scale. His slight of hand drawing on many different disciplines and weaving them into a complex web of confusion, with some truisms, to pot ray the all knowing, superior intelligence. He does what all narcissists do, confuse!

[@edwarddodge7937]

Sounds like every academic in the planet.

[@John5209]

The simplest way to know this hidden aspect of a person, is to see if the person is kind to those below them, or an stray animal. They can't hide deep cruelty!!

[@yokibadoki3194]

I did not get your point at all. This video was just throwing around with keywords and explained nothing explicitly.

[@DanielStone-yw1rn]

It might take more than one person to be a constructive it only takes one to be deconstructive , they strip the positive and replace it with negative

[@kimsherlock8969]

Continually I watch beautiful energy knocked back. Only sometimes someone will be heard courtesies are given to them for their art . I believe the energy when focused can make so much beautiful art . Paradox, it always has been, not all wonderful people who have talent will be given a chance.

[@markogarcia2518]

Mother in Law unfortunately has displayed a lot of narc characteristics. I pray to God we mend this our relationship UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES in our lifetime.

[@Gotcha12345-r]

Can smell them from a mile away!

[@santioliva7942]

if you can smell them probably you have been raised or grew up with somebody who was , experience gives you sent

[@joynkindness]

Years ago at church in the 1970's where I grew up.... it was called sinful pride.... Narcissists behaviors. My birth parents. State diagnosed them as abusers. M arr

[@malay353]

Sir please talk about the traits a victim has that make people choose him for being bullied

[@rf4537]

Being narcissistic and being a narcissist is mot the same. My teenager is narcissistic but doesn’t harm anyone. My ex was a narcissist and he was a sociopath.

[@Saltivasaltiva]

ironically i feel like every youtuber, influencer, celeb, athlete- at the professional level- is more than likely narcissistic or at the very least has some tendencies

[@MrBauerkyle]

A lot of the time, the narcissist is unaware of their own behavior or how that behavior can be viewed as immoral. To become an effective manipulator, you first have to manipulate yourself beyond your own capability of understanding to prevent that mask from ever coming off. This behavior isn't something that takes effort or conscious decision-making. It's almost completely derived from the subconscious; when it's not, the actions are largely focused on the intent to do harm which takes that subconscious desire to cause harm and exponentially magnifies the intensity of that desire which also removes any limitations they may have previously set for themselves due to their desire for affection, recognition, validation or love.

[@badazzmuffin5781]

How many guys clicked this to see if their ex-girlfriend was right.

[@mealadsaadeh3378]

Hilarious!!!

[@michaelmoran8780]

I don't know but I clicked to see if my GF is a narcissist and I'm sure I'm not even close to the only one lol, just saying 🤷🏽‍♂️.

[@paulolez283]

I clicked this to confirm I was right about my ex-girlfriend

[@reedoburrito7456]

Reactive abuse is what alot of men go through. Its When they consistently push your buttons in a covert way, until you absolutly lose your shit and say something fucked up. Then your the abuser and shes the victem. You apologies and promise not to do it again, then she pushes your limit again and the cycle continues.

[@MarjaKorpisaari-v3o]

Narcissim are childrens rights. They grow up to a loyal people, but if their family are seen like narcissts they have hard to grow from that childish behave. And if they seen funny, the people want more to laugh at. The responsibility lay on the childrens social connects. Often you say its not my problem, when it is in his her bones and blod. Like a psychiatrist that seek for challenge patients. Everybody make mistakes and fail. Some are make big number of someones fail, and some are ignore the same fail.

[@BrianSwincer]

mind-blowing wisdom

[@janebraun4482]

Some narcs of sociopaths are expert at making the other person the villain. My dear brother was victim of one, who after he passed and before she cut off speaking to us, his siblings, made sure to pretend herself victim from a decades old event. He was so brainwashed, ultimately co-dependant he could not see how pathological she was, but told me, she'd said she wanted to leave him, now that his physical health was bad, and he needed help, all that help he our family had provided her. No one else for sure would have kept her around. He died, she waited one week to let us know, then asked to attend anyway a x country wedding party on us, said she would have to pay her way, she then would not talk to us since.

[@JasmineDaisy111]

😮thanks Jordan!

[@felipefonseca3952]

Could a trained clinical psychotherapist be a Narcissist? It appears to me that is not a logical or empirical impossibility.

[@Kinghassz]

Yes they can.

[@Naiff.1]

Im cousler psychologist and i admit that its to much in the field more than you can imagine

[@MindShiftChronicle]

What a foolish question. Are you out of your mind? You have a prime narcissist in front or you presenting a speak about what he knows about narcisssm. Also yes, psychologists have some of the highest level of percentage of narcissism so it's extremely likely!

[@Dude0000]

@@MindShiftChronicle they also can spot psychological projection when they see it, of that I know.

[@pauliberg3492]

again this brilliant dr Peterson.

[@MarcVeizhans]

The suit is amazing

[@toluwaniokinbaloye250]

Who is Dr P interacting with? The author should please indicate for those of us interested in viewing the long form content

[@theoriginalwaterbaby]

Students in his University class at the time. Kinda obvious! 😄

[@captaindanger13]

@@theoriginalwaterbaby there's more clips in this video than just that one. all you had to do was watch past the 3 minute mark and you would've seen that.

[@captaindanger13]

as soon as each clip starts, there's an info card on the bottom left corner that tells you who he's talking to, what show it's from if applicable, and what episode it was.

[@theoriginalwaterbaby]

@@captaindanger13 Waaa waaa waaa seriously you take the time to write this? 🤣🤣🤣 🐣🐣🐣 I've watched this clip a dozen times you dipshit! Ahahaaa what a dork get out of your basement once in awhile oxygen is good for the brain.... 🤪🤪🤪

[@theoriginalwaterbaby]

@@captaindanger13 waaa waa waaa seriously you took time to write this??? 🤣🤣🤣 🐣🐣🐣 I've seen this clip a dozen times, you dipshit, how about you get out of yo Mama's basement every now & then, oxygen is good for the brain! 🤪🤪🤪

[@blue893]

The amount of victim bashing and shaming in this section is horrible. It doesn't matter of someone talks about what they are going through online. They may not have an outlet or a source to even say anything or speak about what they're going through and this is how you all respond? May God have mercy on every single one of your souls bashing victims who truly are going through problems and have no way out you all think it's so easy to just up and leave if you were in this situation I guarantee you it would not be simple you all need the Lord and you need desperately to pray for your salvation.

[@zootjitsu6767]

Who knows, maybe I’m a narcissist for saying this, but isn’t getting the most credit and hierarchy boost out of our actions and accomplishments the responsibility we all owe to ourselves and the ones we love? Or is it better to be like Tesla, a genius who accomplished so much but got little to no credit and died broke?

[@shoa4566]

Being a broken work horse is mental health. Eat your slop.

[@Mal_Freeman0451]

There's a difference between wanting recognition for achievements and desperately craving attention on an existential level. That's the difference between a normal person and a narcissist.

[@shoa4566]

@@Mal_Freeman0451 yes doctor!

[@Garydoug]

"unearned" is the key word

[@shoa4566]

​@@Garydoug Who is it that judges what is earned? Is what is earned judged internally? Or is external validation the key? And if so, how much external validation is required?

[@thelongfurryneck]

My Lord, he is excellent at using words to clearly and concisely explain something that I have only felt for decades. Take for example how he explains how men interact in regard to sociopath or narcissistic individuals at about 14:20 in the video. Phenomenal. 14:20

[@michellehooper2634]

When you have spiritual discernment it’s not that they are going you see through it but know that they will reap what they sow they only destroying themselves when we live at peace with Jesus he protects us

[@BlackWingedSeraphX]

14:00 onwards his rants are so good.

[@Julie-v6g]

The mirror is for more than just for shaving❤😊

[@macoeur1122]

As far as "earned" or "unearned" status and/or narcissistic supply....I really think it depends... If they could "earn" enough attention/stutus to satisfy all their need for supply they "would" earn it...the problem is their need for status and supply is so non-stop they couldn't possibly earn all they need...so they have developed an infinite number of strategies to basically "extract" un-earned status & supply. In a way you could say they work extremely hard manipulating perceptions...and they believe that's legitimate "earning".

[@David.5035]

Good comment.

[@vania698]

Thank you!

[@fettbub92]

Raised by a narcissist. They do this, its exhausting, but it clues me in to what in talking to. I was foolish enough to let a narcissist into my house, trying to help them. Ended up outing the fucker.

[@romaray]

The nature and mode of interaction of a "weird", ie, a psychopath has been described very clearly and effectively . An excellent example of their dramatic behaviour is exemplified by Paul Bernado and also by the dark triad. It is only when one has a longish interaction with a psychopath that one realises hie sick and far removed from normalcy sick can be. They feel pleasure in harming people and getting away with it. Every success makes them more bold. I have two neighbours, a father and his 50 year old daughter, who have been psychopaths for the thirty years that they have lived in a flat adjacent to mine. Many thanks. 🐬🌸🐬🌸🐬

[@arildthordal810]

Watch out for your mother and siblings at adult age.

[@RModillo]

WIth underlying shame, narcissists may feel that all status is unearned. So this distinction at 4:45 or so may be irrelevant. Also, I'd make a distinction between the competence of Clinton and Trump. Clinton didn't just get approval for his job performance, he actually did get a lot done. Whatever toxicity he is working off is not quite related to his achievement.

[@pennyd3194]

Thanks Jordan !

[@Truthtoat]

So helpful

[@sinepari9160]

I've never met an 'introvert' who was a narcissist.

[@petetate1268]

Covert narcissist is an insidious energy vampire / master manipulator. . . Be glad you haven't meant a introverted narcissist. . . They are by far the most dangerous.

[@TriStarIII]

Takes a lot longer to figure it out, once you do, the damage is 10x greater.

[@mohanjarallah2448]

Video describes the male dominator archetype.

[@inlight718]

You are great nar reader.congratulate🎉