Watch Out for These Red Flags in Your Marriage

Watch the full episode - • Your Dark Side and Con...
#Shorts #JordanPeterson #JordanBPeterson #DrJordanPeterson #DrJordanBPeterson #DailyWirePlus #Behavior #BehavioralMarkers #RedFlags #Marriage #MarriageCounseling #Interactions #NegativeInteractions #RelationshipRedFlags #MarriageRedFlags #PositiveInteractions #Divorce #Couples #CouplesCounseling #EyeRoll #Contempt

[@abuseinterrupted]

He is referring to research conducted by the Gottman Institute, for anyone who is interested. It is the gold standard in terms of predicting relationship success. Gottman also identifies the 4 horseman of relationship destruction: contempt, stonewalling, defensiveness, and crticism.

[@gerardo49078]

Appreciate it

[@mariemarie2888]

Thank you for sharing this ❤️

[@a.r.8987]

Thank you

[@a.r.8987]

I was wondering if you know of any books related to this research that you can provide? Thanks

[@RH-tl9iu]

@@a.r.8987 There are several books I have read by Dr. Gottman and I recommend them to everyone. The first must read book is called “Why marriages succeed or fail.” It changed the way I look at relationships and helped me understand my partners better. Other books include “Seven principles for making marriage work,” “What makes love last,” and “Eight dates.” Other books that I found helpful by other authors are “His needs her needs,” “If you’re in my office, it’s already too late,” “6 husbands every wife should have.”

[@labornurse]

My partner slaps my bum, even when I'm smart.

[@gerardo49078]

nice

[@marcdumont2275]

Especially when you're smart?

[@snow1851]

@@marcdumont2275 especially when she's smart

[@manueltremblay547]

@@snow1851 When she's smart smart smart?

[@retematic2351]

Would like but 69

[@colombianrednek5561]

My wife is the only one to set me straight when I do/say dumb things. She does it in a way that sheds light on the it rather than outright criticizes me for it. I've learned to do the same and we just vibe together so well 😀.

[@Maharddhika]

May you please give us an example? This is a struggle that I have. How do you “shed light” on what was said if it was offensive or stupid?

[@geo.0526]

@@Maharddhika Maybe, don't just yell at the partner in a way that a teacher would yell at a student for doing wrong. Yell at them how Dr. Peterson would. He raises the voice but also tells why you shouldn't do something and why you should do something else. Yell, but with a helpful hand. It makes the situation have light, and not complete darkness. I'm sure the commenter means something slightly different but I think the way I explained sheds light. You also don't have to YELL. Maybe just slightly raise the sound of your voice.

[@Maharddhika]

@@geo.0526 Thank you!

[@missari05]

How can you do this when the other person gets so defensive to feedback? My husband and I used to vibe well, but now I feel he’s plucked me in a category of his past and references “ohhh this is what women say, I’ve heard this before” he can be very dismissive and it’s very hurtful and triggers me badly. Then I can’t get any other feedback or word in edgewise and he is now playing tit-for-tat which he never used to do before. I feel like I’m married to a toddler sometimes. What happened to the grown, sexy, protector man I once had? Now I feel like “the rest of them”, unworthy and scared to show emotion. Please, any tips and perspective from a man is helpful.

[@geo.0526]

@@missari05If my partner were this way I would say, "grow up and listen to me. We aren't kids, we are a married couple". But I see that you can't say that. For your protection I would just say to leave him. But then i feel like you should stay and work on the relationship. I think you should bring it up to him, but in a respectful manner. And if he doesn't like it or get angry, maybe it is time to call it quits. I'm 17. My help may not be much but it's what I would do. If he won't respect and love you then you should be with someone who does. If you aren't protected, then you should find someone who does protect you. I wish you the best. God bless.

[@Zack-bl2gg]

Yea, this is how my last relationship failed… too little criticism. When you’re both afraid to have confrontation or offend the other, then you aren’t really showing love to them, care for them.

[@TradBarbie]

So true!! They won't even know what they're doing wrong or not doing.

[@rc-pm1fe]

Ok then my wife is winning the relationship championship because she criticizes me for everything I think, say or do, to include things I haven't done and things she thinks I'll do in the future.

[@cglarkins1962]

What I know is my wife and I went to marriage counseling after 5 years and almost got divorced because if it.. we dumped the guy and have now been Married 30 years.. had ups and downs but stuck it out.. bad therapist are very dangerous

[@proudatheist2042]

What did your bad therapist do?

[@Alwaysquestion7856]

Agree. I think some therapists are good, some are bad, and some do very little one way or the other.

[@IHavent82Day]

For sure. I knew a couple that started going to counseling… husband had an affair with the therapist. Smh

[@avocato6857]

didnt go to couples therapist but went to see one for depression and anxiety. i have the capability to maximize a little trouble and cry about it. for example, in the first session, i told her that i dont want to eat at the dorm cafeteria because there is so much people who try to cut the line and do stupid things. it bothers me that people dont behave in public. i know it doesnt make sense that keeping yourself from eating because other people are jerks but i was in a place where i just couldnt put up with any kind of insensibility. i have always been a fragile person but now that i think about, i was just making excuses for my lack of appetite. the day i talked to her, i almost threw up watching my friend eat a cake. i told her this she just said that people shouldnt worry this much about other peoples behaviours. she made me feel like i am guilty of my depression and anxiety. i am aware of my condition but i cant tell anxiety to worry less. doesnt make sense. if you want to see a therapist, make sure you see a good one

[@rsmetz88]

@@avocato6857 At a point you have to make an effort yourself. Learn to love yourself, no one is going to save you. It isn't the fault of your friend or the cake...

[@jpowers7320]

My ex husband was always rolling his eyes at me and would never talk to me. Happily single and living my best life.

[@WhisperWebb]

I've been married almost 13 years now. The thing I think most younger people don't understand is that your not supposed to be happy all the time. It's impossible. There is no relationship that is 100% good all the time. For some reason people younger than me, and even my age really, think that if your not happy all the time then the relationship is over. I lived through 3 divorces total between my parents and I know what that does to people. I don't want that!

[@AJanae.]

I agree! My husband and I are almost 10 years deep together. You’re marrying your best friend, of course you will fight or have down periods, that’s natural! If everything was peachy 24/7 365 I’d get suspicious

[@aishwaryasudan1290]

THIS!!!!

[@Kevin-qj7fp]

Exactly you can never be happy Happiness only lasts at most (maybe maybe) 10 full minutes It's so short lived we have 100 years to live most of life is work and tedious action Happiness is very short compared to the suffering and sad times

[@Joanne-mi2nt]

No matter what you going through don’t feel depressed and don’t let anyone or anything make you feel less of yourself because in every problem there’s a solution and in relationships you can also get the specific person you want to love you ! You can get help in everything you want, only if you ask for help.

[@mrquick6775]

@@Joanne-mi2nt Wow, I admire your optimism .. unfortunately it’s not true at least for most people. To me marriage has been the worst mistake I ever made in my life and that’s why I’m filling for divorce!!

[@loris4142]

My father told me when the bad consistently outweighs the good, time to end it. (Relationships)

[@JVk321]

😢

[@firefedhomestead4019]

Looks like I’m getting divorced

[@Hi-levels]

​@@firefedhomestead4019 update

[@logan_e]

My wife put up with some amazing level shit with me for almost 10 years until I grew up. Then we had nearly 30 more of great times, she thought it, and I were worth it, I've never loved anybody more. RIP baby!

[@KateLate____]

I never thought of that, for the older generation. I'm 38. I wanted to get married in my early 20s, but men seemed to not be ready. Which never made sense to me, as traditionally everyone was married young. I guess women were coping with immature men at the start of their marriages.

[@logan_e]

@@KateLate____ I think that's pretty likely more often than not. My wife was almost 6 years older than me at 30 to my 25 and still I was more mature than most of the guys I knew! Commonly the man is slightly + older, I'm sure that accounts for more relationship problems than people realize!

[@marianorton8190]

Did she do some slapping ?

[@missari05]

That’s beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s great to know there’s a possibility and light at the end of the tunnel. I’m waiting for my husband to grow up. He’s a great man-but just needs to grow up. Please do you have any insights into how I can help foster positive growth in our marriage and not be triggered?

[@logan_e]

@@johnman559 Agreed, it saved my butt that's for sure!

[@lynnodonovan4204]

Let’s not forget that contempt can start for good reasons. Some people get into relationships with the mentality of a child and fake it until you marry them. Then the narcissist starts showing itself and no matter what you say or do there’s nothing that will stop them. They do whatever they want and truly don’t care how it affects you. All the counselling in the world won’t change them. I’ve been there.

[@carriesilvinaespinozavilla5177]

Contempt is #1. In todays society we are becoming estranged because contempt is now not only allowed but encouraged rather than respectful communication.

[@AaronCMounts]

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

[@Noone73902]

People don’t know how to communicate before they are angry, that’s the issue. I know television and music and media and all negative impact on world views and communication style.

[@iplz]

Jaida Smith eyes are doing backflips

[@Denis-fs2ip]

And stuff gets entangled in some caves.

[@branwhite4973]

But she's such a victim?

[@redrum623az]

Jada.. but I get you mah

[@KuhusuChochoteJAA]

😂😂😂

[@traceydumase]

😂😂😂😂

[@milliesecond102]

My husband of 24 years has rolled his eyes at anything I've said that was important (at least to me) for over 20 years but I have hung in there Unfortunately, my beloved child has kearned to treat me as his father does. I wish I would have left him b3fore we had a child together because narcissism is passed ona💔

[@mrsfoss3368]

Well, you have a choice now, don't you?

[@MDVA44]

I’m sorry you had to endure that kind of treatment

[@angelaseymour4464]

I’m so sorry that your child picked up his dads behavior. My brother initially taught his children to “make fun” of our mother, their grandmother. I took it upon myself to do my best to put the quietus on THAT. They stopped. I was furious, but the behavior MOSTLY corrected itself.

[@milliesecond102]

@@mrsfoss3368 I've already filed for divorce.

[@milliesecond102]

@@angelaseymour4464 I wish someone would have intervened to straighten both of them out. I stayed to stand in the gap for my son to not be shuffled between homes and be exposed to who knows what kind of women my husband would have shocked up with abd having other women involved in making decisions over my child. Staying was the lesser of the two evils. He graduated high school last month and left for the Marines today. I filed for divorce in June and waiting for him to be served now that our son has left. My life really sucks right now bc the military was never our plan or his until a chain of unfortunate covid-related events happened to his world. He just ran into the fire with this military decision but I'm moving forward to reclaim my life after all these years. What a terrible time to try to sell a house!🤦‍♀️

[@mm4894]

I can see that. If your partner never corrects you, then they are holding back. That is never good for a relationship.

[@mk1864]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I rolled my eyes multiple times during this video, does that count for something? My husband and I have had an overwhelming negative over positive interactions, nearly got a divorce, separated, but stayed true to each other even through all of that. Our relationship has been rocky from the beginning. We've been through hell and back together. But we've endured through it all and have been married now for almost 12.5 years! Wanna know the secret? We put God first! Through the tough times 1 or both of us would pray harder for the other. No therapist ever helped us the way a healthy prayer life did. We realize we are 2 imperfect humans and thus will have trouble. And because of that we have endured thanks to God's grace!

[@lellyt2372]

My husband slaps down my nonsense when the need arises (and if people think either I or Jordan are talking about a physical slap just go away) It sucks and I hate it at the time but it is definitely needed. I do the same for him and, likewise, he hates it and it stings his ego but we are both much better for it after almost 18yrs together

[@BlondeQtie]

not saying he meant it here, but he is pro a bit of physical violence. also in his book.

[@branwhite4973]

Awesome. Cheers 😉

[@lellyt2372]

@@branwhite4973 did you read my comment ?

[@IHavent82Day]

@@BlondeQtie you are delusional

[@PacificMoceans]

@@BlondeQtiebullshit

[@boricua9071]

The most thing I am most grateful for in my wife is her patience. She’s 6 years older than me and she really helped me grow up. She’s always been supportive but I can always count on her to call me out.

[@theresahenderson3534]

Contempt is the highest indicator for divorce.

[@laubachm11]

Contempt is always number one

[@V.Hansen.]

I feel the contempt in a relationship building up inside me and I know I’m done. Not just romantic. All kinds

[@Liam_Patton]

That's why mercy's so important. If you expect good instead of weakness, you'll be disappointed. If you expect weakness and prepare for it, the good is a welcome rest during the job you signed up for.

[@saltycat662]

@@Liam_Patton Sometimes it just ain't worth bothering with. Especially when the other person refuses to meet you half way.

[@Liam_Patton]

@@saltycat662 figure that out before you get serious with them. People get into relationships like buying a car without looking under the hood first. If you don't scope out someone's values, beliefs, abilities, and morals, you have no right to be surprised that they act like a dumb monster later. Don't get serious with people who aren't worth betting on.

[@thaneknight]

The marriage is also in trouble if one or both partners are keeping score.

[@rockstopsthetraffic]

When the girl I'm seeing finally got mad at me, I started loving her more. I absolutely didn't set her up for that, though. Don't screw around with people like that. But yeah it doesn't feel quite right if someone's not telling you certain truths about you.

[@katem331]

100% accurate, from a soon to be divorced person lol

[@dimebagvinnie644]

Sorry

[@Liam_Patton]

I'm sorry. It's going to be okay.

[@karenholtzclaw3135]

I roll my eyes at myself...

[@purplefyrus5370]

Can confirm, My ex rolled her eyes during couples counseling and I dumped her Ass 6 months later. Shoulda done it sooner lmao

[@jatpack3]

Imagine paying someone to listen to spouses bitch about each other.

[@matthewscott4629]

I don't know why they didn't just say the woman rolls her eyes because I'm sure 98% of the time that was the person rolling their eyes

[@Maria_Russ]

@@matthewscott4629 so true 😆

[@ohifonlyx33]

Also the guys never seem to take stock of why the woman felt the need to roll her eyes.

[@TheMostContraryMary]

Always stated that if we have more bad times than good, it's time to change

[@BlondeQtie]

our positive to negative ratio is like 200 to 1. 6 years, best relationship i ever had.

[@stoneyvowell1239]

The eye rolling thing gets me. Not all eye rolls are contempt. Some mean you just don't agree. But disagreeing on so many things is a big problem in the marriage because it lets resentment turn into contempt over enough time. Common goals should be the goal if there is any hope for the marriage.

[@GrayingOne]

For all the people that don’t understand that he didn’t mean a physical slap…you need help fast!

[@paintspot1509]

Unfortunately you are incorrect. There is another video of peterson saying how you can only have proper arguments if there is a risk of violence. He is one messed up dude.

[@raythex6779]

@@paintspot1509 i think you have a hard time understanding intellectual conversations.

[@paintspot1509]

@@raythex6779 not really, it's my day job. I see where you are getting confused. JP is not an intellectual. I stand by his own words and the agenda he is pushing. Why do you think he is called the "stupid man's intellectual"... its not a coincidence that educated know JP is full of crap.

[@chrismccaffrey8256]

@@paintspot1509 not sure you understood the subtleties there, he is certainly not advocating domestic violence!

[@zonunralte4742]

@@paintspot1509 you serious? Gosh, KZbin is gonna be hard for you 😂😄

[@BravoNiner14126]

Been married for 8 years. I agree but you will have your ups n down periods.

[@amberwheaton2252]

My husband and I have been married for 19 years now. We've had our ups and downs, but we've stuck it out. Thing is you have to have the bad with the good or you won't know when it's good.

[@saltycat662]

What happens when it's always bad and never good? Or when the bad is so bad that you can't get over it? That's the problem.

[@lorettahaley266]

I have said for years that I need a man strong enough to stand up to me and, smart enough not to do it too frequently

[@frogger2513]

After 20 years we rarely have a positive interaction

[@merlebrown7664]

For me my life was a huge mess during the times my husband and I divorced. Although we’re back together now even stronger ❤️. I had to use a prayer that I found in one comment here on KZbin & It worked like magic !!

[@shedrankit]

7 years with my wife. Looking forward to 70 more!

[@jameslaiola4976]

I agree with this. A long time ago Someone also informed me that divorce wasn't always an option. At first i didn't understand; then i had the pleasure of seeing the unfortunate circumstances revolving around the desecrated union.

[@carolinekofahl8867]

Rolling your eyes can be a reaction to being talked down to - and that's contempt.

[@gussampson5029]

It shows that you don't value the relationship any more than the other person does. Otherwise you'd be hurt rather than angry. It's contempt AND resentment.

[@Claire90409]

I agree. I've rolled my eyes a couple of times to my partner who was narcissistic and very unreasonable, stonewalling, giving silent treatment, had one rule for him and another for me. Sometimes it's exasperation at being treated so unfairly.

[@Claire90409]

@@gussampson5029 Sometimes abusive and unreasonable people make you angry or exasperated.

[@SpideySensey]

It can also be a reaction to your spouse suddenly turning into a reasonable, passionate, caring person in front of a therapist when you yourself don't even see a hint of that in the arguments outside of therapy, so now you look like the crazy one.

[@MarquitaKianna]

​@@gussampson5029false! It means she did care but was constantly ignored....now shes just disgusted!

[@humblejoy3564]

oh gosh. I was wrong about the eye roll. I read it was attraction. my husband does this even when we're intimate 😮

[@TrenchNetwork]

An intelligent person that speaks truth is a beautiful thing!

[@AlessandroCardano]

No need for studies for me. As soon as my first gut reaction was rolling my eyes, I knew I wasn't going to be with her for more than 6 months.

[@vAbAfilM]

My parents are married since 40 years. My mom regularly roles her eyes since I can think of.

[@meaganalexander2088]

Is it sarcastic/playful, or serious? I feel like that might make a difference.

[@samanthawilson3308]

Dunno, but been married 25 years now. I've rolled my eyes so hard some days my eyeballs fell out. We are happy. We laugh a lot. I'd still pick him to get stranded on an island with and I know he'd pick me. Not sure the eye rolling thing is a fact for all.

[@DJmicaiah]

We roll our eyes all the time

[@mokari9268]

Robert Green is like I don’t do numbers.

[@brucelyons5698]

Having courage to tell the truth ..even if the other doesn't agree.

[@aliciacoble7854]

IF ONLY my husband would actually REALIZE how SOME of his actions TRULY hurt !!!

[@omorosedavis2283]

There are ways to put him on a right direction. So that every word you say will be final no argument. Ask me how I will tell you

[@zissler1]

Do you communicate that to him?

[@420GirlForever]

I feel ya girl 💜

[@SaltyDog-wwrd]

@@omorosedavis2283 Thinking that you can change your spouse when he or she doesn't find their own motivation, is not only futile, its a little bit arrogant. You can speak truths, but you cannot demand anything. All you can do is lay out pros and cons, rewards and consequences, of their behavior AND of your own.

[@FriendofDorothy]

men are not mind-readers. Best to have a no drama, calm talk.

[@themoonlitquill]

Trust, Communication, Honesty. The three hallmarks of a successful relationship. My parents were married 36-years before my Mom died of cancer. They only argued once in 36-years, even though my Dad would argue with a wall to make himself feel better. Their marriage was built upon a Godly foundation, they discussed every financial decision, wrote a list of pros and cons, and made a decision as a unified front. If one of them was uncomfortable with spending that kind of money, the issue was tabled and they would save until both were comfortable. Even when it came to us kids, they were a unified front. They functioned as two halves of a whole. Never once did they spend a second in front of a marital counselor. They didn't need one. Trust, Communication, Honesty. Both of them have passed on, but their example is a splendid one.

[@christinawagstaff4693]

Wow you were lucky to find each other god bless you both

[@josephbel]

Folks like your dad and mom are rare these days and will become extinct in the next 50 years.

[@nancylpr]

My husband thinks I am never supposed to give him any negative interaction. I think we are done.

[@relationshipsrebuilt]

@nancylpr sorry to hear this. If you're still into saving your marriage then setting boundaries in a healthy way is key, and have you thought about how you communicate to him what is perceived as negative? Are there habits that have crept in that mean that what you perceive as opinion lands with him as criticism? There can be no judgments if the goal is to rebuild. If you work on yourself and lead the changes the more likely he'll follow you This is what I call a toxic marriage communication loop - it can be broken but needs work and a plan of action.Hope this helps :-)

[@brandih4882]

​@@relationshipsrebuiltsir, You can't stop boundaries with somebody that doesn't like you saying negative things to them. A boundary will be considered something negative to somebody like that. Her marriage is over, And I think it's a little rude you're almost gas-lighting her into thinking it can be saved.

[@relationshipsrebuilt]

​@@brandih4882 I appreciate your opinion, but I have to disagree with you. In my 30 years of helping couples, I’ve never 'gaslighted' anyone into reaching a conclusion about the future of their marriage.I don't think offering advice to @nancyplr on possible communication solutions is rude or misleading (hence why I asked if there is a goal to rebuild). Saying "I think we are done" isn't a definitive statement. I did not conclude if the marriage is over or if it can be saved. By the same token, how you feel able to unequivocally state that the marriage is over? However, I believe it's important to explore if both people really understand each other’s perspectives in a constructive way before making any final decisions.Our discussion here shows how crucial communication is in resolving conflicts. Offering insights and strategies can be part of that process, and I think it's worth considering all options before concluding that a marriage can't be repaired. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and i hope our discussion here assists @nancyplr

[@relationshipsrebuilt]

​@@brandih4882 I appreciate your opinion, but I have to disagree. In my 30 years of helping couples, I’ve never 'gaslighted' anyone into reaching a conclusion. I don't think offering advice to @nancyplr on possible communication solutions is rude or misleading (hence why I inquired 'if" there is a goal to rebuild...). Saying "I think we are done" isn't a definitive statement. I did not conclude if the marriage is over or if it can be saved. By the same token, how do you feel able to unequivocally state that the marriage is over (that is 'gaslighting', by your own standard, no...?). I believe it's important to explore if both people in conflict really understand each other’s perspectives in a constructive way before making any final decisions. Our discussion here shows how crucial communication is in resolving conflicts. Offering insights and strategies can be part of that process, and I think it's worth considering all options before concluding that a marriage can't be repaired. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me and this community, and I hope our discussion assists @nancyplr.

[@Beegeezy144]

So cool to see them together.

[@gxulien]

The biggest predictor is contempt. I wouldn't equal that with eye-rolling.

[@AaronCMounts]

Eye-rolling is a direct sign of contempt.

[@coachm2075]

It used to be in society that divorce was frowned upon. People used to look at divorced people negatively. But in today's society it's almost a right of passage, people look at you funny if your not divorced. The destruction of the family unit was one of the main battles in this silent war going on in America.

[@Raufm3]

Why this war on families is taking place? Who's beneficial?

[@DM-wu5hn]

Forget counseling, it's over.

[@couchgame]

I would love to read this research...

[@brandih4882]

Dr John gottman did the original research. It's easy to find on YT and Google

[@rogerfederer1233]

I layman's terms...if you can't stand your partner, probably not gonna work

[@brahdaman]

Mahalo for the content 🤙

[@TheCaminoGuide]

You're describing my ex. She rolled her eyes at me all the time.

[@andrealmoseley6575]

What were you doing?

[@Hoolegan]

Man who knew Count Dooku also does marriage counseling

[@aliaf22]

I knew the roll eyes predictor but had not heard about the 11:1 positive to negative interactions.

[@carolbearce5318]

I knew it was doomed at contempt

[@juanmangasmochas1533]

Yeah, I’m headed that direction.

[@melissaharris3495]

I love both these great men!!

[@inyourkitchenwithchefmike7652]

I live listening to JP!

[@wotintheworld]

Yeah the eye roll, we got past that and brought it back.

[@heatherdeffendoll9612]

Thanks!

[@meganimus9763]

Two of the most brilliant humans right here.

[@bridgetbrown6974]

I honest to GOD LOVE this shit... SO REAL!

[@bryangriffin3139]

Me and my wife been married 25 years and it’s a pusher pull relationship. We work stuff out we’re not perfect. We’re still learning and that’s what’s awesome about it as I love her and she loves me and we’re willing to work on anything after all I met her in rehab 32 years ago how about that, we have beaten all the odds, especially where I came from seriously been in the same house for 20 years. Both of our kids have grown up in this house and they both graduated high school and they

[@izawaniek2568]

Great information. Thank you.

[@judem429]

Therapists side with the person who seems calm. Always. “I try to help her but she’s just so angry.” Bingo. Therapist on his side.

[@katalinacastanares4602]

(I know i may be a little off topic, but you reminded me of something that isnt really talked about.)This is a very big issue with so many aspects of life. The bias that people think can't possibly happen to a "professional." The type of treatment you receive if a doctor thinks you're a junky. Teachers not bothering to work with certain students or going as far as robbing them of their education by jumping at every opportunity to send them out, or refusing to give them more time or a second chance on assignments. Going above and beyond for other students, allowing them to get away with bad behavior because they like them for whatever reason. One good example of the negatives of bias would be those nightmare 911 calls where dispatch would be annoyed or easily offended by a panicked person who is dealing with an emergency. And they failed to or out right refused to send help.

[@katalinacastanares4602]

There are a lot of dumb, or just outright horrible therapists/councelors/psychiatrists. Many who fail to see thru manipulative behavior and forming a bias. There are so many cases where marriages were destroyed by therapists when their relationship was otherwise very salvageable. I have an experience with one that wasn't about my relationship with my husband, but an unrelated personal issue. Anyway, I once made the mistake by bringing up an issue I had involving him, just one. I complained about how I had bought my boys a pool, and while I was at work, my husband was supposed to be taking them swimming since they have been cooped up inside for a month straight. Anyway, I came home and found the boys sitting on the couch playing, while my husband had a friend over playing video games and they apparently were on the video games all day long and lost track of time. I was annoyed, but I understood it was a mistake and it's easy to lose track of time. The frustration was just from my own sadness of havinf to leave my boys.Well, after that she was so determined to explain in many ways how I am caring for a man child and long story short, (kinda) she was basically trying to get me to see there was problems in my relationship with him and pointing things out that I didn't see, (because they were nonexistent) i very politely asked if we could focus on my original problem that i was there for.Then out of the blue, just 4 days later I get a call to rush home to meet with child protective services over an allegation of child neglect and abuse against my husband. Of course it was all nonsense, and my children's teachers even volunteered to advocate for him and how they thought he was a great father. The investor chuckled when we gave her the actual story, and apologized we had to be put thru the humiliation of having cps. I called the therapist and politely asked what about the incident I told her about warranted a call to cps. She told me in a very snooty way "I am a mandatory reporter" and went on talking over me trying to explain what that was. I already knew, because, I too was a mandatory reporter, along with nearly everyone else. Its as if she was special for it. Lol Anyway, she just had this very stuck up personality the entire time, and I was wanting to get a new therapist for some time. This incident was the last straw for me.

[@judem429]

@@katalinacastanares4602 Thank you for these replies. I am glad CPS let you go. People think therapists are so very good but the 3 I tried just wanted me to forgive my narcissistic ex and get back together. He manipulated them easily.

[@2flizz]

2 great minds , and one can simply listen 👏🏾

[@loriblunt5352]

After 35 years, i still roll my eyes at my husband. I wouldn't wanna roll my eyes at anyone else. 💞

[@blackeneddove]

This is that sweet kind. You are blessed. ❤

[@jasonabbott4210]

Two legends of our time!

[@deborahedelman2659]

Wonderful!!

[@StayAtHomeMeme]

What is really considered a “negative” interaction? Cause my husband and I never fight anymore. We used to argue in the early years of our marriage but as we’ve been married longer, we just don’t really fight about anything anymore. We can give each other healthy criticism but I don’t consider that a negative interaction. We may get annoyed with little things and pick on each other for it but it’s usually more jokingly and we try not to do things we know annoy each other. Or like I’ll say, “Hey it drives me nuts when you do this so try not to do that please.” And hell usually say, sorry, I’ll try to do that in the future, etc. Again, it doesn’t feel really negative. So are we in trouble because I don’t think that’s negative or are those considered negative interactions? Because when I think negative, I think of something that’s a fight or someone yelling at the other.

[@Micloren]

Seems like you’re over analyzing. Peterson comments are more targeted at relationships where there’s utter disgust & lack of respect. Your relationship sounds like it’s devoid of passion. Like you’re just going through the motions. I can’t imagine that ticking the box of a five star marriage, but, it’s also not the sure fire sign of marriage ending dysfunction he’s talking about.

[@StayAtHomeMeme]

@@Micloren so you think because we don’t yell at each other we don’t have passion? Is that what people are looking for in relationships?

[@Micloren]

@@StayAtHomeMeme huh? Your initial post comes across as a dull marriage. Like an 80 year old couple eating at Waffle House barely speaking five words to each other. Yelling has nothing to do with it.

[@StayAtHomeMeme]

@@Micloren that was the point of my question. What is considered a “negative” interaction. Is it a fight? Is it yelling? Is it criticism? So yea it’s pertinent because that’s exactly what I was curious about. Out of curiosity, what’s your marriage like? You seem like you think mine is boring so what is yours like if you’re giving me tips?

[@Micloren]

@@StayAtHomeMeme Why did you post an open-ended question to just go full circle passive aggressive defensive on someone giving an objective opinion on what you yourself wrote? You're asking about negative interactions while at the same time creating a negative interaction...

[@miss_naomi7377]

Yes, I’ve heard that the eye-roll is a huge predictor.!

[@xenacompiling4895]

Thank you 👏🏻 not always agree with this guy! But this one! Yes 👏🏻

[@jacksonboone8396]

Good stuff JP.

[@MaryMargaretteWhite-ek5tn]

🤔the only time my wife’s eyes should rolling is when I’m playing with it 😂

[@EdithEsquivel]

I constantly roll my eyes with my four year old but divorce from him hasn't come up yet

[@commonuser-2554]

I’ve been rolling my eyes at my husband for the last 6 years, we still are not divorced yet!

[@rcc1887]

Leave food always out of the fridge and lids not screwed on is driving me nuts, but a frustration. No divorce yet.

[@theresagomez2605]

Lol. Somebody's going to take that slap your partner reference literally and claim he advocates for abuse.

[@JesusOrDestruction]

I slap my partner all the time. Great advice JBP.

[@impendingblessing2616]

I see your comments everywhere and they keep surprising me xD

[@Cetababy]

May god give you the strength to be ready for new blessings ❤

[@Ifailedeverything]

Ask for what you want. When you get it express gratitude. If you get what you want without asking express a Lot of gratitude.

[@georgec5151]

Marriage counselors🤝divorce attorneys

[@420GirlForever]

My partner just rolled her eyes at me after a heated argument when I went back into the room she was in to try to talk things out. I feel very disrespected and am spending the night in another room separate from her. I am already starting to plan my escape as this is the tip of the iceberg for me

[@vtrandal]

God love him. Jordan B.P.

[@AngelPyra]

Yup. I've been in both roles of being the eye roller and the 1 whose eyes were rolled at. I'm glad they happened before I married any of them.

[@daabee236]

Thank goodness! I was worried lol

[@elizabethy2912]

I totally concur. If one partner is not allowed to set the other straight, or if one partner is TOO SENSITIVE to take constructive criticism, it's in trouble. Narcissism Sucks!!

[@DreDredel3]

The last parts is the best 😂

[@harrypcs]

My wife will love this.

[@Drakio95]

Interesting. Very valuable information :D

[@reshmikasharma2483]

The man speaks tje truth

[@ohlookitssarah]

I've never felt more understood....

[@jamesdelcol3701]

It is terrible. So sad. Especially when you really loved that person. Her son was a delinquent. I had to get out of there.

[@454slowride]

Even after 20 years of marriage I still manage to do dumb shit dozens of times per day. My wife is a saint.

[@Xt4209]

She rolls her eyes and when I suprise hug her she makes a face when she thinks I can’t see that just makes me think I’m getting blindsided

[@FreshTopEnd]

Wow was not expecting that ending and gives me some hope in my marriage haha