Kristi Noem VS Puppies

[@JoshJohnsonComedy]

Hi Friends make sure to subscribe. We are only 29k away from the goal of 500k by June 30th

[@SnowQueene]

"Free nights and weekends," yo... 😆

[@thomassteinbring3769]

Ayo what you doing uploading on a Wednesday? Not that I'm complaining

[@lisahoffman9019]

Have your mom explain landlines to you.

[@YosiahW]

I remember after 5PM texts and calls were free. After 7PM laundry was half priced too. I miss the late 90's and early 2000's.

[@dshepherd107]

That set was 🔥 Josh! I’d forgotten about the minutes😂.

[@ismaelvillegas3]

"I've never seen someone get kicked out of outside" is an incredible line

[@juliacaro]

100%

[@OfficiallyTCMW]

I was thinking it. He said it 😂

[@beigefox6579]

I just came here to make similar comment. 🤣🤣🤣

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

@@OfficiallyTCMW : When you think about it, that's exactly what all governments do to all of humanity.

[@breebee83]

I was reading this as I heard it! 😂💀 correct, sir.

[@unclewiley1986]

Killing the dog and goat then responding to people being upset by talking about how she ALSO killed her horses shows how much self awareness she lacks.

[@dopaminey9946]

She also lacks an emotional connection to mercy.

[@phoenixgirl70]

Jfc I didn’t know there were horses too! Do you know her “reasons” for them? If my pets were dying and suffering I still couldn’t kill them myself. The vet has always done it but I’m there holding my fur baby. They will never die with just a stranger. I’m guessing the horses were older and she couldn’t make money off of them. She shouldn’t be allowed to have animals. The laws need to be stronger. So much stronger.

[@ljashley5407]

@@phoenixgirl70. She probably shoots things when she gets mad and has a temper tantrum.

[@phoenixgirl70]

@@ljashley5407 Her kid(s) probably wear Kevlar vests under their clothes. When my past cats or dogs got sick and there was nothing else to try I could never kill them myself in a million years. (And I have a terminal illness and am so grateful my country will let me decide when to die and not just suffer.) The vet has always done it while I hold my fur baby. They’re never alone. But I could never do it let alone shoot them. And it was her own sloppy, careless, preventable fault. I’m sure Trump thought she was great.

[@iancowan3527]

Shows emotional disconnection...

[@neyona1173]

In my hypothetical head-cannon, the daughter who came home and asked Kristi Noem where Cricket was convinced her that it was a good idea to put that story in the book to get revenge for Cricket.

[@bevwest7428]

Wow, what a good insight, hadn’t thought of that.

[@Kudos2-someone]

"You'd better get ahead of the story, mom."

[@JeremyAndersonBoise]

Justice for Cricket

[@mcwjes]

Her political opponents better merchandise "Justice for Cricket" or they're leaving money on the table.

[@MorrisDuBose]

YES!

[@FoNgThOnG]

The Puppy was "untrainable" so she killed it. The Goat was just "stinky" and got roped into the murder train lol Noem's a psycho.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

Except she didn't train the puppy, and actually people should have such dogs bred specifically for hunting birds, trained by a professional, or someone who knows how. Also, I just read she shot her horses too, and am curious if the reasons for that were also clearly over her own mistakes.

[@bettelouwho]

She failed to train the puppy. She shot the goat for being an intact male. She failed to neuter him and shot him for smelling like a goat. The THREE HORSES she shot makes no sense either!

[@HereForTheCatContent]

I think I read the puppy was a little over a year old. She took her on a hunting trip thinking an untrained baby would somehow get trained in an exciting, over-stimulating situation like that. Then took her around some chickens without supervising her. Besides some severe emotional and moral deficits, this woman either lacks foresight and an understanding of cause and effect to an astounding degree, or she just likes to set up terrible situations where she can respond with something even more terrible, and pretend to be justified.

[@OctopusOwl]

@@HereForTheCatContentI think it may be a combination of both

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

“Untrainable” weird phrase to use against an animal one didn’t bother attempting to train!

[@wheelbite9]

"Msg & data rates may apply" means nothing to us now. Lol

[@lady2cherish]

Facts! I'm always thinking "why do u keep telling me this??"

[@monicarenee7949]

Lol it’s funny to still see this because I always do a double take like wait nobody does this anymore do they. I guess they have to mention it just in case someone is on an outdated plan?

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

@@lady2cherishyes lol like do they even offer plans that it would matter for at this point…?

[@myrdicac338]

Exactly

[@SL-lz9jr]

Occasionally I see a random cheap plan that has caps on certain features but you have to be blowing up your phone to reach those limits. Even when my plan says I can’t do something like international texting it doesn’t seem to be true because the messages will go through. So it seems weird to have that warning. I’m wondering if people who have emergency phones on very limited plans (usually for low income people or domestic violence victims provided by the government or something) have a need for this… I understand data rates… GoogleFi has a plan where you pay for each additional gig of data after you surpass the threshold but I never ever use up the minimum threshold.

[@matiuhhh2788]

i know she’s banned from the land because of her actual political stances but it’s so funny to think that they banned her for the dog thing

[@MamaTreNiner]

There's a young man serving 25 to life for defending himself against a police dog that was ATTACKING him... 🤬🤬🤬

[@teresajohnson142]

She wasn't just banned over the dog. They banned her for making public statements that she believes that drug cartels are using the reservations for drug & human trafficking. Her original bans came when she disagreed with the covid policies to enter a rez.

[@GhostBear3067]

It could very well be both.

[@M0053yfate]

It's not because of her political stances. It's because she said they're crime ridden, and in cahoots with the Mexican Cartels Boogeyman. Then "offered to help" in a very condescending patronizing way. So they've said she isn't allowed on their sovereign nation until she makes a proper apology.

[@GhostBear3067]

@@M0053yfate that is part of her political stances.

[@laureneras9523]

I remember yelling at my friends "I'm not made out of minutes!!!!"

[@Annajetady]

“Wait til the weekend!”

[@shaywilliams3358]

😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😔

[@Dys_phoria]

lol, it’s funny right now but it was frustrating back then when people were wasting time on call..

[@FinnandMaxsMom]

I remember my friend getting her phone bill. It was in a box because her son was texting one-word texts to his friends. Her bill was close to $1,000 for one month.

[@DeadInside-ew8qb]

“She’s a politician…for now.” 😂

[@katherinepatchett7975]

Brilliance, as always 😂

[@henrywallacesghost5883]

She's from the Dakota's. They don't care if you rape a goat let alone kill it just as long as you're a good Christian republican.

[@nj.7325]

...and now she's homeland security secretary under trump

[@akeleven]

Now she's a trump cabinet member

[@Exconfinedtroll.]

This is why my generation sends walls of text instead of breaking it up into 17 messages

[@susannairisastarte5192]

Wall of text is overwhelming for me. I prefer a few texts broken down 😂

[@Bmf214]

😅😅😅😅😅 my 20 something kids hate that! Mom u still there?…!

[@esmeltorlath]

Long SMS would be counted as multiple ones, though?

[@korganrocks3995]

@@esmeltorlath If it went over the character limit, yeah. Fun memories of running out of characters just before finishing a sentence, and having to go back over the whole text and try to figure out words to cut or shorten... 😄

[@jasonfrancese8359]

Gotta do paragraph breaks if I can.

[@lucvergnes]

You know how most comedians try to tell jokes. Josh doesn't tell jokes, his storytelling is just naturally hilarious

[@presentfuture7563]

The places he pauses, and the delivery...it's an art

[@apelike]

He's a raconteur.

[@beverlywesterkamm-wallrauc5808]

That’s exactly what it is, I was trying to figure out what made him different and that’s it!

[@nicholedowning8341]

I’m so glad you mentioned the poor goat. Nobody else gets passed the puppy which of course is horrendous. But I think about that goat as well.

[@nophilter]

R.I.P. to the puppy and goat 🕊️

[@TheBasher-_-]

Yeah that's so crazy 😂😂 I fking died laughing

[@julianyc422]

and it was because the goat was flithy, meaning she neglected the goat, she killed 3 Old Horses on the same day which I think she did to prevent the ASPCA from getting her aressted.

[@JackieAdams-tp3pv]

She also shot 2 od her horses 🐎 she's evil 😮

[@sherrybirchall8677]

Also, don't forget. She shot the goat. It didn't do the job. So, the goat suffered in pain while she went to get another bullet.

[@honeytrap3635]

Omg the governor of SD. My home state. She’s banned from every reservation in the state.

[@honeytrap3635]

Commented in the first minute of watching, so reading more comments leads me to believe this was said in the set. 🤦🏼‍♀️😬🙈

[@honeytrap3635]

And there it is at around 4 minutes in. 😂😂😂

[@GigMaresh]

Well 3 of them had banned her a while back . . . Then one by one the others said, heck, why didn't we think of this

[@Sherri-w7f]

She should have went to jail

[@enkhzayabat-orgil9595]

“phones didn’t use to be loose like that “ ☠️☠️☠️

[@katherinepatchett7975]

So good 😂😂😂

[@maryrosekent8223]

I encountered your comment just as Josh was saying it. Timing is _everything._

[@raphaellavictoria01]

This is so exciting, I totally remember the good ol' days of 2005-2010 (roughly) when my plan had unlimited calls AFTER 6PM and on weekends. Awwww! And calling anywhere while on vacation abroad was never done, not even in 2013, because it would cost an arm and a leg.

[@sunsetskies83]

It’s so much more than this. The reason she killed the puppy is because, after training it to hunt birds, it killed the neighbor’s chickens. Then the goat didn’t die after she shot it so she had to go back to her car to get more ammo. And she named the chapter “It’s a Bad Day to be a Goat.” Incidentally, she went on to defend killing the dog and goat by saying its part of being on a farm and she killed three horses the week before. But, and this cannot be forgotten, last year she bragged about her two-year-old granddaughter already owning multiple guns. She is a two-year-old and one of her hunting mentors is an adult who doesn't know how to shoot even at close range, just ask the poor goat. And, just to top the crazy-cake that is her family with guns, when she was a tween her father pretended to strand her in a forest and told her to hunt her way back to camp. Then he followed her pretending to be a bear.

[@sunsetskies83]

I just cannot comprehend the magnitude of idiocy.

[@Infodumptruck]

Im sorry, WHAT

[@jahliafinney707]

Going to go google "Did Kristi Noem's father pretend to be a bear"

[@MsKatyDidKnot]

Wait, she's the one who bragged her 2 year old grandbaby already had guns? Hooboy and tfg was gonna pick her as his VP? Did his advisory team not realize most gun owner voters are not insane?

[@sunsetskies83]

@@jahliafinney707 and what’s the best insane detail you can add following the trip around Google? With that level of hillbilly silliness, there has to be more to it that I just don’t even remember🤣

[@MadHatterTheMatter]

as a puppy owner I have been infuriated about her since the story broke. my puppies are 1.5 years old and still little assholes. she just took her anger out on two animals and thought it was normal because it was legal smh

[@hurricaneheather1420]

😮😮😮😮😮 omgoodness for real ? I'm not trying to be ignorant by any means. I'm just not in to politics

[@idek1433]

I got a broken ass murder dog full grown almost 10 years later my nerves are gone and I'll have an ulcer soon because I still have my precious big ass psycho. she's still a total nightmare but so well trained nobody believes me until she tries to eat their dog that I told them to keep away 😮‍💨 murdering an actual puppy is so insane to me. I literally can't believe it and I have to believe she actually made it up to appeal to maga and she's just a moron 🤯 I seriously can't believe it

[@sunsetskies83]

She didn't think it was normal, she thought it was noble. She said it showed she could make tough decisions but it really showed she's impatient and bad with both animals (she also killed three horses around the time the book was released) and guns (despite the close range and the fact she only brought one bullet, her first shot only seriously injured the goat.)

[@MsKatyDidKnot]

In her mind, she can do what she wants with her property, and that includes her animals.

[@Damnitjim7]

​@sunsetskies83 glad someone covered the whole story, also didn't she say she killed the dog cause it wasn't doing the job she wanted it to, and you gotta pull your own weight on the farm?

[@lbierman21]

I think we should refer to all politicians as "politicians...for now"

[@TheSpoonman00]

I worked for South Dakota's government for years while Kristi Noem was in office. To me, she never struck me as interested in governing, but rather using the position to eventually run for President trying to appeal to Trump's base. Little did I know how bad she actually was at doing this.

[@wintertrooper7918]

Are you before or after "we're on it"

[@TheSpoonman00]

@@wintertrooper7918 Great question! That happened my first year working there, but I was in HR so I didn't hear about it until I heard coworkers snickering at the news. For those unfamiliar, the Department of Health in SD hired an outside marketing firm to create a catchy slogan for their initiative to tackle the growing meth addiction problem in the cities and reservations. Somehow they decided on "Meth. We're on it." It was ruthlessly clowned on by the media, and was a feature story on Stephen Colbert's show where they photoshopped Mount Rushmore to look like all the presidents had missing teeth and scabs on their faces.

[@TheSpoonman00]

​@@wintertrooper7918Great question! That happened my first year working there, but I was in HR so I didn't hear what happened until I heard coworkers snickering at the news.

[@phoenixgirl70]

@@wintertrooper7918 I have to ask what’s “we’re on it”? Because I’m sure she was “off it” haha pretty bad. I’m hoping it wasn’t something that cost people’s lives?!

[@TheSpoonman00]

@@phoenixgirl70 Nothing that intense lol. The SD Department of Health had hired an outside marketing firm to come up with a slogan for their public initiative to battle the methamphetamine crisis that was plaguing the state's cities and reservations. Somehow, they came up with "Meth: We're On It." It made national news as a hilarious blunder and even got featured on Colbert's show, accompanied with a visual of Mount Rushmore where the Presidential faces looked all strung out with missing teeth and bad skin.

[@Ktakahashi18]

Killing animals for no other reason than just to kill is serial killer behavior. I was expecting "And then after she shot her goat she killed both her parents" 😱 What the heck?! Who kills a puppy!? And then a goat?

[@rugr82day]

Vanity Fair says she's recently admitted to sh00ting one of the horses.

[@temitopeej8407]

And then justifies it all by somehow linking it to killing her horse. I don’t get it.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

It's actually worse than that. She killed them both over her own mistakes. The puppy because it was a hunting dog she didn't have the sense to train, and she was the one who let it out of her vehicle at her neighbors where the chickens run loose. And the goat because it was stinky. Goats are stinky, hunting dogs require training. It's all 100% on her own inept and or apathetic decisions and the violence prone nature of the Q-ult.

[@Andrea-tx5uc]

She's a Psychopath for sure! You're right. Major owes her!😂😂😂😂Love you Josh! ❤😂😂

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

Idk about her parents but someone should definitely be checking in on her poor children

[@fakshen1973]

That camera as a kid... you can take 20 pictures before you have to buy another roll of film. Then you have to pay someone to develop the picture and print you so many sets of them. That's all you got. Nobody was taking pictures of their lunch. NOBODY.

[@bec7080]

There were a lot of random photos of things though. We actually found a pack of photos the other day that we had not ever opened (I'm not sure why). They are from probably about 13-14 years ago so we had camera phones but they were not what they are now. They were mostly photos of just one of the nights we had a bonfire here which we used to do a lot of weekends. Nothing super special that night, not even a lot of people over (but I've is deceased now so it was a nice surprise to find that because he was in a photo). Anyway, there were just a few photos of pretty much "nothing". We did used to do that too. Just less often. And there's times I've been happy to have photos of food. Maybe when I've gotten it in a memory I think "oh that's when I visited so and so' or etc etc. And sure we have other photos too but food is special

[@MsKatyDidKnot]

And you had to wait days to see the results. They didn't always have 1 hour developing back then.

[@kevinforeman4485]

Every picture was carefully thought out. Do I need this??? And the camera told you how many pictures you took already & you were counting down.

[@monicarenee7949]

I remember before a party or event buying like 3 disposable cameras just to hopefully cover the whole time

[@korganrocks3995]

I just discovered a huge box full of old photos, and had the realisation that all that film must have cost an absolute fortune!

[@tamrasmith1744]

Kristi Noem said she had to put the dog story in her book, because people in South Dakota already knew about it, and it was being used against her. She wanted to tell her side of the story. Why do people in South Dakota already know the story if she isn’t going around telling people about it? The whole point is, if you do something awful, why share it with anyone? Answer: She doesn’t think it was awful. She’s proud of it.

[@wintertrooper7918]

I'm a South Dakota citizen and none of us knew shit about that

[@tamrasmith1744]

@@wintertrooper7918 You mean Kristi Noem lied? Shocking! 😂

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

Well yeah, she thought what she put in the book was a self defense 🤣 she’s a psycho.

[@danteattenborrough4686]

Republicans are cool with this behavior. She is them. She represents them.

[@CallMeJay44]

"It'll just take a minute" had me DECEASED 😂

[@nophilter]

Brilliant 😂😂

[@ndbaker74]

I came in to say "brilliant"... someone beat me!

[@tildeumlaut6833]

BEST closing line on any set he’s posted

[@beatsbynate710]

😹😹😹 that was the best ending ever

[@SarahSirbaskuWilliamsPhD]

"It will just take a minute". HAHAHAHAHA. I got my first cell phone in 1998. I clearly remember living the minutes.

[@justloadalready8839]

As someone with a track phone in like 2010, it still blows and was like 50 cents per text message. Like someone better be dying, because I only put twenty dollars on this thing

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Real talk. Went from the Motorola that had the button on the side like a walkie-talkie, to the indestructible Nokia, to the Motorola Razr, which was awesome but maxed out at 100 messages. T9 Speech forever!

[@tiffakang4525]

I had a Nokia….. then nights and weekends became free. IT WAS ON! I was 17.😂

[@tiffakang4525]

@@Tonyhouse1168T9 FOREVER!!😂

[@octiiXpies]

the scramble my friends & i did to switch from a landline 3way to a cellphone 3way call when it hit like 6 or 7 pm on a weeknight. also, i can't believe we used to do group calls??? most people don't even seem to be aware that you can chain multiple 3 way calls together nowadays 🫠

[@_NewtonMeter]

People forget text messages weren't unlimited.

[@TroutBoneless]

The one thing Josh forgot about those old phones is calling people to tell them to stop texting you because you finally got unlimited talk but you only have 100 texts per month

[@heavenwaits]

she recounts the whole thing like a serial killer representing themselves in court, she’s clearly so proud and enjoyed it

[@wintertrooper7918]

What gets me is that the book had to go through editing and everything and no one thought "should this chapter really be included"

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

@@wintertrooper7918the chapter titled “It’s a Bad Day to be a Goat” What a god damned lunatic this creature is.

[@trickslies844]

@@wintertrooper7918 I'm pretty sure every one who read it thought "you know what? F this B**ch "

[@kaciewolverton2692]

She would do this to humans too if she thought there wouldn’t be consequences

[@cherylhall2504]

She obviously doesn't believe there would ever be any consequences for her. She's part of that maga group that would still vote for phrump if he shot and killed someone in Times Square. ​@kaciewolverton2692

[@m0L3ify]

Reminds me of that time my phone got turned off for nonpayment because I answered a call from an extremely talkative classmate in college who wouldn't stfu and ran up my bill $300 because I forgot I wasn't on a landline. fml that sucked. She called me!! That should have been free!!!

[@sexyhomeowner9345]

Lmao

[@chkngrl]

My family did that to me and to make it worse I was driving in Canada. I disputed the hell out of that $400 bill and luckily they pitied/ agreed with me and waved it.

[@m0L3ify]

@@chkngrl Oof. I'm glad you got it waived! I don't think there was anything I could have done for mine. I stopped talking to that classmate, tho. 😂

[@wairgald]

I used to work doing customer care for Sprint Wireless. One of the things that they conveniently forgot to tell people is that your minutes are used if someone calls you, like while your phone is ringing it uses your minutes even if you don't answer, or even if you had your phone powered off. On top of that it also used your minutes if someone left you a voicemail. I had a customer call in one time that had someone harassing them and constantly calling them, so they powered off the phone because they were told by the person that sold it to them that it wouldn't use your minutes that way. Turns out that was a lie. This person called my customer so much and left so many voicemails that they burned through 1,000 minutes and then racked up over $1,000 in overage charges. I of course had to escalate that call because it was beyond what I was allowed to credit. I found out later from the manager that I escalated to that they told the customer that there was nothing they could do about it. Their reasoning for that? Because we offered a free service to block phone numbers from calling your phone, but you had to call us to do it. This just pissed the customer off more because when they asked at the Sprint Store about it, they said there wasn't a way to do that and to just power off the phone.

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

I was dating a British in the early 2000s and I remember him being stunned that American plans charged _both_ people for the same message/minutes and only then realizing that he was right and wtf Corporations really do go ahead and squeeze as much as possible out of us in this country. Nothing has changed in that sense.

[@JeremyAndersonBoise]

I remember only having a land line, with a rotary dialer.

[@saltwatertaffy7020]

I remember only having homing pigeons!😂 Just kidding!

[@kevinforeman4485]

And if you called after like 10P.M. it better be a crazy emergency. 2A.M. death in the family type thing.

[@Annajetady]

And a Party Line for our house.😊

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

I remember the school nurse still having a rotary phone in the 90s and having to explain to me multiple times how the heck to use the thing to call mom 😂

[@jefferson808]

Party lines have entered the thread

[@elizabethwahlborg5954]

Josh is hysterical! My favorite line was the one of putting Kristi Noem in a room with Biden's dog (Commander is a german shepherd who keeps biting people).

[@michaelstark5663]

I love Josh half smiling to himself every time he gonna say funny shit it's so endearing.

[@ariaharies3594]

Josh single handedly proves every week you can be hilarious without punching down.

[@Notoastleft]

I was literally rewatching the Bidens Dog set before this waiting for it to drop, and the freshness of that call back was gold

[@MrSknottykid]

The “it’ll just take a minute” line that wrapped the previous 10-15mins in a neat little bow…..is artful! Well done. You’re carrying the wisdom of a much older man.

[@joncoda365]

When he mentioned the phone thing, wow, I don't know why I thought this comedic genius was in his 20s. He's 34yos.

[@monicarenee7949]

Ikr I keep thinking he’s way younger than me and I’m only 2 years older

[@nj.7325]

im in my 20s and i remember it too though. but yeah he looks so young

[@cheeseonyomama]

Lol Me: "you know back in the day we couldn't go on the internet if someone was on the house phone." Kids: "you couldn't...what? What's a house phone?" 🤣

[@Amy-lf5kn]

Flashbacks to not wanting my friends to text me because their stupid comments cost me money. 😂😂

[@Exconfinedtroll.]

That was a metric of if we're going to be friends or not 😂

[@ALT-vz3jn]

It didn’t cost money to receive a message, it only cost money to send a message.

[@kelseygetz2123]

For some plans it was both. So if you were mad at someone you would text them a bunch because you knew it would cost them money and they’d get in trouble with their parents (yes I was a teen then) so one text was “a” then next text was “B”, c. D. e. F….

[@caramelese8520]

💀💀​@@kelseygetz2123

[@fobinc]

I remember having to type out full-on paragraphs. I used to call my friends to tell them to stop texting single word texts and wasting my texts.

[@VV1tch3zNVVulv3z]

Wait so if someone else texted you that’s counted as a minute plus your messages is another minute??? Oh hell no

[@ggundercover3681]

​@@VV1tch3zNVVulv3zno. Single word texts meant them having to ask more questions or typing more to converse.

[@Exconfinedtroll.]

Went sent each other short novels for a reason

[@fobinc]

@kittiikamii my plan at the time counts per text. So basically, whether if it's 1 word or a Stephen King novel, it's counted as 1. My limit was 200 texts a month followed by 15 cents a text. I had friends with unlimited text plans that would purposefully text multiple short texts to me to burn my minutes to a point I blocked their numbers and only unblocked to call them. Thankfully, they never had an emergency because I wouldn't have picked up while their numbers were blocked, haha.

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

@@ggundercover3681in the US yes both parties paid for everything.

[@michelletxmischief4390]

"I've never seen anybody kicked out of outside."😂

[@joshuacampbell1625]

I feel like if that happens, you've basically just lost at life at that point😂

[@wakingcharade]

Josh is out here dropping sets that are better paced and have more pay-off than full comedy specials, like. every week. That "phone minute" set was so well executed.

[@angelarutherford1840]

The minutes on the phone had me dying. Once my car blew a tire on the way to get my kids from school, my phone had no reception, and when I asked the first person who stopped if I could use their phone to call my kids school and let them know, they hesitated and asked how short I could keep it because they didn’t have a lot of minutes. 😂

[@triceyg2014]

"It'll just take a minute.." was absolutely DIABOLICAL! 😈🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@laurafordemocracy]

Free minutes between 9 pm and 7 am! I remember watching the clock run down from 8:57 pm, 8:58 pm, 8:59 pm...

[@kylezimlich3330]

Remember when Twitter was 120 characters?

[@JeremyAndersonBoise]

140, SMS, get it together.

[@weaksause6878]

Remember when it was called Twitter?

[@MintYew1445]

​@@weaksause6878It kind of still is. I have yet to see any mention of it without (formerly Twitter) attached

[@VedaSay]

"It still is unless you pay up!" hear this with Elom rubbing hands and grinning!

[@Balthazar97638]

I’m a simple guy. I see Josh, I hit the like button

[@HALOSnHORNS]

Everytime

[@MamaTreNiner]

🏆

[@Thekowaikaiju]

But you are a cat

[@beewiz42]

Literally like it as soon as it loads and then start sharing it to friends while he is just getting started because I already know it's going to be funny!! That last one though man that shit was hilariooooooooooous!

[@JLF201]

If you're not also watching it, then you're missing out.

[@厶しりあらな]

My first cell phone was the Nokia brick. It was prepaid, and text messages cost $0.10 off my minute balance.

[@korganrocks3995]

Same here, and that Nokia brick lasted me the better part of a decade before breaking!

[@厶しりあらな]

@@korganrocks3995 mine is buried deep in a box or drawer somewhere. I'm pretty sure the battery hasn't died yet.

[@elainal6847]

When my husband and I were still dating he would tell me “ you used all my going out money on text so … “ Stopped texting him and watched him text people back with “ you owe me 20 cents “ 😅 and block friends who didn’t pay him back. Glad I stuck it out though cause this man has amazing credit 😂

[@KathrynTanner-t8f]

Loved my Nokia! Not fancy but I wasn't addicted to my phone then so it didn't matter. Old Reliable!

[@Just999Me]

Yeah it still blows my mind that talk, text AND internet is unlimited now. Im getting too old too fast 😅

[@lindam156]

my friend got 1 hour free after 7pm so we'd literally talk for 55 minutes, hang up, and then call again. Rinse and repeat for like, 3 hours :D

[@marciawade8813]

Do you mean the "First Hour Free"?

[@BookNerd4Music]

Calling my parents after 9pm when i moved away LOL and having to account for the time difference!

[@alisaurus4224]

It’s 5pm HERE but it’s still 3pm THERE

[@amarbyrd2520]

THE TIME DIFFERENCE

[@InfamiTizMe]

Josh Johnson, you are undoubtedly one of the hardest working comedians of our generation. You talk about the most recent trending news topics, you do your research and you stay as unbiased as possible when presenting your point of view on the whole situation. You sir are a national treasure and I always get excited when I see you released a new video! Keep up the good work 😊❤

[@masternoble]

Commander for president 2024

[@Thekowaikaiju]

BANNED FROM THE LAND would be a decent special title 😅

[@Mel-ix9rl]

I love his work. Really takes the edge off the depression

[@MustertheBrohirrim]

Topical and naturally funny. What a class act.

[@neek_02]

The fact that I automatically "like" every video before even pressing play 😄 It's an automatic yes for me!

[@alecLogan]

This happened and some folks still, for a moment, believed a single thing JD Vance said about Springfield.

[@tamiausten873]

First time I'm able to comment before a hundred people 😂😂😂 this channel is too viral 😂😂. I'm in Nigeria so I'm awake at midnight even though I have exams at 11am 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. Josh is worth it ❤

[@vivianjones9749]

Good luck on your exams

[@bevwest7428]

“Biden’s dog!” Hilarious Josh !

[@lyvedits]

4:20 You can faintly hear a woman add "goats" onto the list HAHAHA

[@lynnhettrick7588]

Yes! Thanks for pointing that out!

[@darrylhall9503]

Josh Johnson deserve way more props than he gets. He's very clever, so funny 🤣

[@nemothenobody7859]

This video cost me 17 minutes. Great routine, sir.

[@jennifercartwright2360]

Thank you Josh. "Sometimes more is too much." True!

[@RamblyBear]

The text message pricing is even crazier when you find out that the cost to the cell companies on texts was static. So whether one solo person sent a text or the entire customer base was lit up texting all day, the cost to the cell provider was identical.

[@Andthebeetgoeson]

Those tracfones back in the day charged crazy amount of mins for text messages. It was definitely a hustle.

[@quantumkitty128]

That whole bit about the phones and the texts and the minutes...so my family and I went on vacation one summer when I was a teenager and my Nokia Brick had AIM on it...but they counted as texts, and we didn't have unlimited texting. In a two week vacation with my family I racked up a thousand dollar phone bill instant messaging my friends 🤦‍♀

[@civetcawfee]

Sometimes, I experience a wistful loss when randomly recalling AIM. I only used it on my computer, so the memory doesn't stand out as much as this excellent example 🏅

[@verolawson3898]

Oh nooooo 😯😭🙈

[@allbyhmsf9878]

Why are Josh's beats so good? Damn this is a vibe

[@Crossbreid]

I watch weekly and just realized I never subbed. I'm fixing that right now

[@markruffalo8761]

Holy shit me too thanks

[@nophilter]

Same. Good looking out, Chris! Thanks.

[@sicarianduraznac]

Checked and same. Fixed now.

[@AlanPhillips-ms5wz]

I fixed it right now as well

[@Matt-pz4we]

Wow, that's a whole group of people that actually could use the "remember to like and subscribe" line on every video lol.

[@djccrider]

Your comedic delivery and timing are really on point! You are hilarious!

[@TrueAmericanEnglish]

the "next level crazy" audience voice at 2:50 had me DEAD 🤣🤣🤣

[@lynnhettrick7588]

😂

[@yourmomisvaxxed5570]

Remember when a company that only charged per text sent was a great deal-because other companies charged to send *and* receive a text?😅

[@Oonagh72]

“It’ll only take a minute” would be the premise of a great AI movie

[@jeffreysherman8224]

That movie would SLAP right now! All us old heads would remember and be terrified! The new generation would be fascinated and it would be a great addition to the gen z "vintage" trend that's going around. Young kids and teens have house phones on their wall in their room that aren't even plugged in because they want the aesthetic of a 90s movie. A horror movie about the time of limited use cell phones would be a hit!

[@OfficiallyTCMW]

I remember when phones didn’t use to be loose like that 😂 I remember my first pager conversation. My best friend had a phone (prior to texting) & I had a pager😂😂😂

[@msays1275]

I remember "minutes"...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@oreo5850]

over 100 people are tuning in to see this every minute for the first 50 plus minutes

[@Phoenixx1127]

That’s facts. I haven’t explained the ‘minutes’ situation to a younger person yet! 😂

[@featheredserpentartmedia5315]

We are blessed for getting 2 vids this week, I can't wait to see you in Denver this July.

[@vivid3605]

I just wanted to say that the video description for every set is So Thoughtful and Insightful. I truly appreciate that.

[@elizabethbarberis9058]

You're an absolute gem for the era! You make me laugh in a way I've not laughed for years. It doesn't matter that I'm not familiar with your references all the time, it's the joy you squeeze from your set that brings me pleasure. The gift of a true comedic talent.

[@bluntrapture]

There was even a time when there was no internet or cellphones. If there was a TV show on, you'd have to be at home at a certain time to watch it. Phones were just used for talking to people.

[@gaylechilders2124]

Thanks!

[@JackSears95]

God, explaining dial up internet really feels like explaining something from 1805, like the internet came through the phone jack in the wall and you couldn’t use the phone and use internet at the same time, if you picked up the phone while someone was online the phone would scream at you in computer and it was so slow, literally taking minutes for a single image to unfurl across the page like a god damn scroll dipped in molasses. Oh and there was no WiFi, you had to be plugged into the wall, and most people had the one and only computer in the house in the living room so everyone could see what you were doing. Truly, medieval shit.

[@triaxon3791]

I just discovered Josh, and I love him. I'm a huge fan of standup, and right off the bat, I feel like he's put there with the best. He's got heart, and philosophy, and isn't cruel, which is very rare in the standup world of the greats.. I've read he's been doing 15 minutes every week or so? Like Louis CK!!... amazingly positive dude! Go Josh!!! Gr8! Peace ☮💜Love

[@calvinjohnson4276]

I remember when you paid for minutes, text messages, free after 9pm and free on weekends.

[@MamaTreNiner]

That these people are allowed to hold positions of authority within our government is frightening, dangerous and RECKLESS!!! #Let's Goooo ✊🏿✊🏽✊️✊🏻💙💙💙

[@derkeheath5172]

Allowed??? They're VOTED IN by us. That's the worst part. We're the REAL idiots.

[@lady2cherish]

Ahh man your comedy gives me life. Every now and then something really good comes around during a generation and you sir are one of those things 💯

[@rugr82day]

This was an amazing set!!!

[@randomtourist6656]

Damn These cell carriers used to clean us out. Meeennn, that is why we learnt how to summarize and use numbers instead of letters to save on the characters. You would call get straight to the point and hang up. We have really come from far

[@vanessawhitneypro]

So fun to watch your star FLY through the sky, Josh! Brilliant... Always.

[@SkarletBleu]

🤬A puppy, a goat & a horse⁉️......Sooo does anyone have John Wicks number?🤔

[@verolawson3898]

2 or 3 horses!

[@SkarletBleu]

@@verolawson3898 💔That's it! 🤬 I'm calling The Terminator, The Punisher & The Predator‼️ 😤

[@kathymisuraca5047]

Where's dexter when we need him...for so many things?

[@GigMaresh]

6 horses . . . Well, she no longer had to feed the dog

[@dwhitman3092]

😂👍

[@williamcrowe2576]

I dig where you're coming from about texting and having to pay for minutes. I had a flip phone for most of my life and can remember having to put money on a card and then having to go to a website to transfer the money from the card to my phone just so I have more time for calls.

[@MsKatyDidKnot]

I use a flip 'burner' phone when I go out, in case I need a taxi. I don't have a smart phone. The yearly cost for unlimited texting/calling both ways is roughly $150. It's easy for me to do this b/c my job is in the building I also reside in, so I understand I'm very lucky I don't need a smart phone.

[@dubginkxx]

When my phone was out of minutes...i told people to text me and i would call back somehow....Pager Mode😂

[@sarahbleckman5199]

I remember my mom making me pay when I ran up the long distance bill in the 90s

[@MsKatyDidKnot]

Yup. Any long distance calls I made to friends who weren't family was marked by dad and I had to pay.

[@jennifermartinez8394]

Arkansas here watching!

[@osrichitt5269]

This man comes out with a new comedy special every 3 weeks. Ive seen comedians that wait 6 years and can’t match this talent. The comedy industry is cooked.

[@kellytrimble7019]

There were pay phones & landlines when I was a kid😂 I’ve seen ALLL this evolve. Charged for long distance calls(10 miles from your house) to being able to text to other countries! For a flat rate 😂

[@NotWhoYouThoughtRU]

I was sooooo waiting for Commander to come into this story!!

[@merickful]

Comment for the algorithm! Thank you, Mr Josh! 500k! Go Go Go!

[@TheRagingC]

Back in the day, nobody called nobody unless it was nights and weekends! 😂

[@youniverse6841]

I love how he's so chill and is actually funny. He talks about real things without being super disrespectful. Some comedians take it way too far to where it's not even funny anymore or that they try too hard to be funny. He's my new favorite comedian!

[@sessaraquel1]

A new Josh Johnson vid was a great birthday gift!!!❤

[@O.N.L.]

Happy Birthday!!

[@katpet4151]

Happy Birthday

[@verolawson3898]

Happy Birthday 🎉

[@MsDimi84]

Love how you use your intelligence to make thought-provoking shows. I smile/ laugh with every video. I appreciate your impact on the world! Hope you make it to Sacramento, CA for a show.

[@idek1433]

My ex has that read settings on. we have had the same phones I never told her it's a setting that can be turned off. Nor will I ever.