Don't fall for the "Alpha Males" please.

[@me0101001000]

In particle physics, Alpha particles are helium nuclei which can be stopped by a piece of paper. Beta particles are electrons which are stopped by glass. Gamma rays are stopped by lead. Neutrons require concrete to stop them. The point I'm making is, why would you want to be an alpha, with that weak penetration game?

[@MB-ul5me]

Because you're talking about particle physics rather than human social hierarchy maybe?

[@sxvereign_]

lil bro is not socially adept enough to recognise a joke and treat it as such 💀

[@BingleDOop]

@@sxvereign_ you hate to see it

[@chuggynation8275]

What about sigma particles?

[@matt_9112]

​@@MB-ul5me"alpha (male)" comes from fictional/refuted wolf pack dynamics, your point being?

[@JontysCorner]

Keanu was born in Lebanon. His parents split when he was three and he grew up with three different stepfathers. As a kid he was diagnosed with dyslexia and dreamed of becoming a hockey player. He played goalie for a junior league team in Canada but quit after breaking his leg to focus on acting. He lost his best friend, River Phoenix, in 1993 due to an overdose. He got married in 1998, experienced a miscarriage with his daughter in 1999, and ultimately lost his wife as well due to a car accident in 2001. In 2002, Keanu put the Matrix sequels on hold to care for his sick sister. He sold his house to move nearer to his sister, while also helping by cooking meals, cleaning her house, and preparing medication. He also donated 70% of the money he made from The Matrix to leukemia research. In 2006, when he was filming the movie "The Lake House," he overheard the conversation of two costume assistants, one crying as he would lose his house if he did not pay $20,000 - on the same day, Keanu deposited the necessary amount in his bank account. In 2010, on his birthday, Keanu walked into a bakery & bought a brioche with a single candle, ate it in front of the bakery, and offered coffee to people who stopped to talk to him.⁣⁣ To this day, Keanu is often seen wandering around New York City, riding the subway, and interacting with people. These are merely a few snippets of what he has done and continues to do.

[@MegaIIII]

You've never talked to this guy 😂😂😂

[@JontysCorner]

@@MegaIIII Please show me where I said I did, muppet.

[@TheShizzlemop]

@@MegaIIII and?

[@nightmareTomek]

@@MegaIIII did you?

[@dataexpunged93N15]

@mega455 thinking about someone replying to an essay about a historical figure like this is funny. Imagine a review on a biography of Abe Lincoln just being like "bro you care too much about this man you've never met" LMAO

[@darthplagueis13]

The fact that there are still individuals on the planet who do not immediately cringe when they see someone else referring to themselves as an "alpha male" is frankly quite amazing to me.

[@esbenm6544]

@MomPickMeUpImScared-st4wi It's bunk science. Neither wolves or dogs actually work like that. And the person who debunked it was the same who came up with it, as he was a real researcher, unlike anyone whoever called themselves "alpha."

[@nightmareTomek]

Nobody calls himself alpha because he knows how ridiculous that'd make him look. But how many people think they're alphas? Btw, we have a new word for alpha: chad.

[@Lavender_enjoyer]

@@nightmareTomek changing the name doesn't make it less cringe, if you were a chad you wouldn't have to reassure yourself

[@nightmareTomek]

@@Lavender_enjoyer What?

[@ArlindoBuriti]

@@Lavender_enjoyer cringe to you but i know alot of guys that call thenselfs chads and all and they have rotations of girls... they are not even good looking xD, it is funny does not matter to me because i'm married but selfconfidence comes a long way in 2023 if people do maybe is because it is working for then.

[@butHomeisNowhere___]

I work in Healthcare (for 12 years now, oh my god) and what he's saying about communication, nesting phrases, and relaying important information is absolutely correct. Much of the information I discuss with my patients is, quite literally, life saving information. And they KEY part of this is.... Patients won't listen to your advice if they don't believe you're knowledgeable or sure of the words you're saying. And patients not listening to us can, oftentimes, be to their own detriment. I'm not perfect, nor is any Healthcare worker, but this is something we learn over time and Josh is 100% correct here.

[@yoursonisold8743]

Not dismissing your point, it is absolutely necessary that an expert sounds sure of their field of expertise to convince people, but this can also lead to some people buying their own hype so to say. You bolster your confidence to the point that you forget you can be wrong. A possibility spoken like a fact will do harm as well.

[@DisemboweII]

Basically, most people like a strong leaders. Some people think they can lead but can't, others don't want to lead but are perfect for it, but the _majority_ of humans are content with following a leader they perceive as strong and capable. More often than not, that comes down to the whoever's in the leadership position being some combination of confident, humble and honest. They can be other things, but they have to be able to lead; charisma is not automatically leadership. There's a lot of charismatic idiots out there, just as there are shy, quiet types who would make excellent leaders if they only plucked up the courage to try.

[@butHomeisNowhere___]

@@yoursonisold8743 that's true! You have to make sure you don't buy into your own hype, as it were. Humility is important in healthcare especially because there's always more you can learn 🙂

[@raidermaxx2324]

thank you for your service, during these trying times

[@EnderElohim]

@@butHomeisNowhere___ speaking of health care i remember hearing new doctors were able to make less mistake on identifying disease or something compare to old ones just because old ones used to see same problems so they magnet toward same issues is that true? If that is true as you said it kind of like buying your own hype maybe?

[@huntergomez4633]

I think its tragic that the greatest role models for young people do not make content, they are busy living a real life. The egos attracted to internet fame as "alpha males" are anything but alpha.

[@robtallini1346]

Unfortunate how long it took me the good role models don't have time to help thousands of people be their best selves. Spent too much time trying to listen to people like Tai Lopez before I found myself and realized I'm my best role model.

[@paulgibbon5991]

"Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."

[@Luckmann]

@@paulgibbon5991 This is patently untrue. Every man a king.

[@117Haseo]

@@paulgibbon5991 So what does that say about the women who think there queens then?

[@porkerpete7722]

​@Luckmann that's is absolutely false. There are Nobles, peons, Builders. Most people don't even have a kingdom. Cope

[@Karaksonen]

For a while i thought claiming to be alpha was just a joke. Boy was i surprised to learn that some dudes actually fully buy into that. Also there's definitely a difference between being "Nice" and being genuinely kind. I know a lot of people who are quite nice, but very few who are actually kind hearts who go out of their way to help people, and the latter is definitely a big bonus point.

[@nseven1117]

same, I was actually engaging in "alpha male" culture because I thought it was just a funny meme before I realized people were taking these narcissistic ideologies seriously

[@darkreaper4990]

Dudes? I have met some women who fully buy into that too. They won't date anybody but an "alpha" because "that's the rule in the animal kingdom" and hence "it's unnatural to date" a non-alpha male. I am not making those quotes up btw.

[@Karaksonen]

@@darkreaper4990 That's hilarious. "So what if he beats me every day? At least he's big and strong!"

[@OZYMANDI4S]

Exatcly, Im pretty sure it was some kind of meme but then I was baffled by how big it has become to the point where people start using it as a personality.

[@ArlindoBuriti]

kind is for women to be... she can be kind but you can't be kind... you can be nice to other people but kind only to your woman... people that are kind to everyone are naive and will get scamed... is not a good trait.

[@sendraks]

That wasn't an awkward silence Josh. You made it a seductive silence.

[@giggy7935]

Any silence is seductive when you look like Josh Strife Hayes

[@creeperkinght1144]

@@giggy7935 I googled this and this is absolutely true, not even first page stuff, went on for like 10 pages worth of searches.

[@seekittycat]

🥵 Josh seducing his audience

[@sendraks]

@@seekittycat he's already seduced us, its why we're still here.

[@YangBalanceYin]

Dude for real... hot people can get away with anything.

[@zoeyblouin6527]

Don't be a nice guy, be a GOOD man.

[@IAmebAdger]

Absolutely be a nice guy, but don't think that's anything more than the bare minimum

[@Necroskull388]

@channel_lurkerWhy would you expect anyone to want to engage with this comment?

[@thegrouchization]

@channel_lurker As applied to a person, "To leave the world better than you found it".

[@Randomlad56]

@channel_lurker to be desired or approved of…. OH WIAT BY WHOM?!?!

[@Kaotiqua]

@channel_lurker Responsible, ethical, and compassionate. Do you need a dictionary, sir?

[@TrippyTimesTwo]

As soon as I see someone self identify as “alpha” or similar terminology, I immediately see it as a case of incredible insecurity.

[@TrippyTimesTwo]

@@kojike You're right that it's good to show it. However, I have yet to meet a single person who identifies as "alpha" who wasn't an outright asshole to others. Covering up your insecurity by being a dick is unhealthy, and people shouldn't (and won't) respect you for it.

[@painunending4610]

And what's wrong with being insecure Do you consider insecure people to be lesser?

[@painunending4610]

​@@kojike What an unsurprisingly unempathetic take? I bet you consider yourself an 'alpha' huh?

[@Ariaaae]

@@painunending4610 I think the obviousness of insecurity here is obvious no need to comment on that. For your latter question/point honestly I wouldn't say anybody says they're lesser it's just IMO very few people are complete at the very start and don't share any of these insecurities and issues, the thing is we've worked hard on them and obviously we'd prefer people who also have overcome their challanges it gives many validation points. Insecure people need help and I was one of them and I'm glad I had great people around me who with their personal experiences helped me learn more about people, our own individuality and the general world. The point is, it starts with YOU and yourself first. Start working on yourself, broaden your perspective and after some self reflection come to me and tell me you're the same exact person.

[@painunending4610]

@@Ariaaae Yes I am insecure. Why do you point out my insecurities like they're a bad thing? That just makes me feel MORE insecure, not less. Don't you want me to feel secure? I have worked on myself, I have self reflected, I've done the self-improvement. I used to be insecure to the point of constant suicidal ideation, but through hard work and focusing on myself I slowly gained confidence and security in who I was Thing is everyone else treated me the exact same then as they do now. Nobody noticed, nobody cared, nobody gave a shit. So yes I was the exact same person. All that confidence is gone now I realised nobody cares I've done the work, it was other people that brought me down. They should change. They should understand it's ok to not be ok You yourself were insecure. Think back to that time and how you would like people to have treated you. Didn't you want to be treated with kindness and not made to feel worse? Did it feel good to constantly be told insecurities were bad and you should feel bad about them?

[@drakeno4273]

That final comment of "Take care of yourself to the point that you are comfortable with" Is probably the most important thing he said in this video, everyone stresses taking care of yourself but people tend to over stress and think down on themselves because they dont see a point to something but feel like they have to do it for the approval of others

[@VainSick]

I have the opposite problem unfortunately

[@WouldUKindly47]

Agreed. That and "take care of yourself" is a really nebulous phrase. Should I have 6 pack abs, a 6 figure salary and speak 5 languages or should I just be happy with myself?

[@simshengvue5799]

I can comfortably fap to porn of beautiful women, play games like Elden Ring, ride my motorcycle and live in my one bedroom apartment just working at Walmart. Life is grand

[@NayrAnur]

Watching Josh sip from his mug in a long uncomfortable silence would be the perfect date night.

[@gabrielreyes6343]

You were spot on with this. Specially when we fill the silence between our words with ‘like’ or hysterical laughter. Words are spells and greatly influence how people perceive/respect us. I’m learning something new everyday. When I feel like I had an interaction where someone disrespected/walked all over me, usually after reflection on it, I realize that I was to blame for being too nice or over-explaining myself.

[@Nerobyrne]

The problem with good role models is that they often won't tell you a simple way to do everything. Now, that simple way usually won't work, but it SOUNDS good. So, desperate people flock to those who will give them easy answers, even if those answers are wrong.

[@vixxcelacea2778]

Considering this is the case, I think it's important for them to stress in the simplest way possible, that things aren't simple and never have been. The few things that are are able to be summarized in a useful enough way to still be applicable knowledge with out knowing the gory details. There are so few areas where this is true and many many more where if you don't have so many more details, then ironically, you also aren't seeing the big picture, because in reality, all big pictures are made up of trillions of small details. Nature is nothing but details down to every atom configuration and even further down being quarks. As humans, inherent with our natural biases and desire for simplicity, we want to put everything into neat boxes and umbrellas so that we don't have to think about it too much. Also, because we have a finite amount of time to be alive (especially relative to evolution and overall change) that the faster we can adapt and consume strategies to get what we want, the more advantageous it is for us, except when those simple strategies just plain don't work. Then people think a simple adjustment was missed. It's like the phrase "Just do it" nevermind how actually loaded and erroneous that actually is in it's simplicity. Nothing is just done, it only feels like it because we don't all have eidetic memory that painstakingly categorizes all the mundane emotions and empty days that lead up to the "doing it" part.

[@HellaGust]

Interestingly this is also true of politicians. People may want someone who's honest, but they'll vote for someone who says they can easily make things better. If anyone regardless of field claims to have a simple solution to a complex problem, you're probably getting scammed.

[@Shoderra]

A lot of the time the answers are really simple. Work hard, work on yourself, figure out what you want to do, go step by step etc. And it's never one thing. It's always gonna be multiple, and you have to work on all of them and the process of doing that is hard. What the self improvement people sell is usually "get good at this one thing and it will fix everything." Which isn't true 99% of the time. But in a lot of cases those things work for their niches. Pickup artists will teach people how to pick up girls, but not how to have a good relationship. It varies but some of the get rich stuff actually works, but it's a lot of hard work and it will often mean discarding other parts of your life that most people need to be happy. All the gym stuff, great you're in shape now but you're still an awkward oddball.

[@asthmeresivolisk3129]

Nature follows the path of least resistance, and so does the majority it seems.

[@Sniperbear13]

People want the path of least resistance, so they try to fit everything into simple boxes. Women all want just one thing, X. Men want just one thing, X. never mind that everyone wants different things. the problem really is; everything is far more complex then we want them to be. nothing is simple. if we could just consume meal replacement shakes or what have you all the time and they contain enough calories for us to function, then why don't we just do that remove the need to grow food in such large amounts that ends up going to waste? we really cant from what i can find on the internet. we NEED solid foods, else we struggle to digest according to the article i read.

[@merkuree]

I actually appreciated the silence Josh left in this video when he was proving his point because it gave me the time I needed to become lost in his eyes.

[@Resilience93]

chill

[@merkuree]

@@Resilience93 no

[@justacatwithasadface2692]

Based

[@fluffymyato3334]

moral of the story is silence makes you gay.

[@orsikocs]

😂😂😂 first video im watching of this man and yes he has nice eye contact

[@fearthetakko]

I remember this one time in drama class our teacher made each of us do a one-minute presentation about a random topic on the spot. Afterwards, the other students pointed out everything they noticed, from nesting phrases (um, uh, like, …) to mannerisms like hand gestures and head movements, random laughs and even “favorite words” that you say way more often than you realize. Then, we did the presentation again, challenging ourselves to not say or do any of these things. It was incredibly difficult and you constantly had to pay attention to even your smallest gestures and habits. The result? In the second round, every one of us sounded much more confident in our words, like we truly believed in them, even if we were simply acting. Listening to these boring and bland topics immediately became more interesting and captivating… and all we had to do was to simply not say these “filler words”. After just this one lesson I became a lot more self-conscious about how I speak and which words I use. Being a naturally soft-spoken and somewhat shy person I often get overshadowed by louder, more confident speakers but to listeners the difference is like night and day. A fast-paced, booming speech littered with “err… like, so yeah…” and wild hand-waving comes off as much less professional than a more controlled and calculated speech, even if the latter is slower and has occasional pauses throughout. Oftentimes it’s better to simply stay silent for a moment until you know what to say next rather than to stall for time with nesting phrases. It might be somewhat uncomfortable but the listener will stay engaged for much longer.

[@painunending4610]

How about people just be less judgemental I don't judge people for saying 'uh...' or making a weird hand gestures or whatever. Maybe I'm just a better person

[@zach-rac]

I try to always be patient and never judge when people use 'nesting phrases' - it means that they are taking an extra moment to consider what they want to say, and I personally appreciate that in a conversation. Unless you are acting or presenting, it's totally fine to take a moment to consider your words. Some people should do it more often tbh.... :'P

[@unlimitedpower1385]

and the thing is, you don't even need a big famous person as a role model. mine was my grandparents and they were the sweetest people I know. always had well founded opinions and they mainly spread love and positivity

[@FrenkieWest32]

you probably shouldnt have a big famous person as a role model as you hardly know them and cannot interact with them.

[@VainSick]

All of the best role models I have had are fictional characters lol

[@unlimitedpower1385]

@@VainSick And there's nothing wrong with that! as long as it's a good person and you learn values from that or they inspire you to be the best version of yourself that's great! all I'm saying is you don't need that but if it works for you it works for you :)

[@painunending4610]

​@@unlimitedpower1385What is a 'good person'? What is the 'best version of yourself'? If you want people to be these things you actually have to define what they are

[@unlimitedpower1385]

@@painunending4610 a good person is just that, a person who does good, an be in very many different ways. as for the best version of yourself, now that depends on the person doesn't it? for some people it may be being a beacon of kindness, for others it may be being a calming influence, everyone is different and being the best version of yourself is highly dependant on who you are in the first place

[@CheddarPowder]

I was listening to Josh talking about Keanu as a role model that should be followed. And I realised to some degree I view Josh as a role model in a similar regard. Thanks Josh, you've taught me a lot.

[@AlastairGames]

you're welcome!

[@Eyclonus]

He's successful, presents the image of having his shit together, and doesn't project any insecurities or toxic traits. It'd be weird if he wasn't something of a rolemodel to his audience.

[@Ruairoquai]

Imagine openly telling everyone that some random youtuber is a role model to you, smh

[@sorashiro7611]

​@@Ruairoquaiaye?

[@Aeliarna]

@@Ruairoquai people who start comments with "imagine" are often talking crap. case in point.

[@AlVonlo]

Here I was thinking I couldn't enjoy your videos more than I already do and then you had to be this bloody thoughtful, considerate and awfully eloquent ray of hope shining through these dark clouds of toxic behaviour that plague the internet. Thank you for being this amazing bloke.

[@Redishere]

Dude, this is like what young men need to hear. This is the closest you get to helping disenfranchised young men without sounding like andrew tate or tai lopez... Wear grown up clothes, speak plainly and clearly... add a physical hobby you like. Dont be afraid of silence. Be unapologetically yourself and confident in the fact that you are enough.

[@zer0homer]

Actually, I'd suggest this to any self-respecting female. As a grown ass tomboy, I don't put on my bunny hoodie and expect people to perceive me the same way they would if I dressed in a dress or smart casual or even simple t-shirt and jeans it is appropriate to meet people in in IT and startup culture. People looking obnoxiously bright, like a unicorn vomit, with all flaws of their body out and put empathis on, either make their out-of-placeness their whole thing, like 'nice guys', or cover up something. For example, deep insecurities and lack of attention. Genuinely interesting people don't need to parade their uniqueness, niceness, brightness. Their actions speak louder than tags and descriptions.

[@FrenkieWest32]

@@zer0homer or you know, its self-expression? Wearing certain clothes is an action in and of itself, not a tag.

[@Randomlad56]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@zer0homer I think I see what you mean, “people see suits not faces” and such, and what you wear is what others perceive you as, wear the right things at the right places, and also how people will attempt to compensate for what they are lacking, one way or another, and also how actions speak louder then words. Also how the imitator may not fully comprehend what they are imitating and such

[@zer0homer]

@@FrenkieWest32 being maverick is all fine and cool but when you are shown the door twice in a year and can’t find a job in two weeks you know something isn’t right in how you perform, convey your uniqueness and how people perceive you. From then on being genuine vulnerable yourself is just shooting yourself in the foot before starting marathon. Josh had been saying it, people hate some things that are absolutely natural for humans but actually bring you down in their eyes if you don’t assert control of your presentation. I am telling you this as legit aspie/blue stocking/oddbod that spent years failing socially and in relationships because I could never read the room and mindlessly faked what I thought people wanted or, the opposite, screaming with my everything how I was unique. Then I discovered that doing and wearing what you are comfortable in, but in inoffensive moderation and healthy lack of noise and unnecessary detail are the best for communication. Becoming the opposite of socially acceptable, wearing not a bit of makeup but a ton, might work due to shock factor, but unless you’re psycho faker like Elizabeth Holmes of something, just completely delusional liar, or otherwise unhinged, you will know you’re not that thing you try to present as, feel bad about faking your big gimmick, and the moment mask slips and people see through charade and the impression is not ‘ah, it’s the same professional/cool friend I know, but raw in dressing robe’, but a complete and quite dull stranger, you start losing what you have achieved. Most people need filters, but hate deceivers, especially those in total denial. I hope you see what I am saying PS: I am not opposed to bright hair color or unusual things per se, had red and blue hair myself, but in moderation. Kidults online ruined a lot of things for me.

[@wesleywyndam-pryce5305]

@@zer0homer what a gross reactionary way to think. "conform or its your fault people treat you badly" is what this all boils down to.

[@megalomic875]

One of the best pieces of advice I've received in regards to talking to women is simply just getting in the habit of getting up and actually talking to them. Explore them as a person and practice being social, there is no cheat code as every woman wants something unique but striving to be the best version of yourself is certainly something that is broadly desirable hence why you see confident men get more dates.

[@megalomic875]

Like Josh says there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, Look at yourself objectively and cultivate genuine pride, not ego.

[@SongsAboutHappiness]

corny dude believes in reddit pick up advice rofl.

[@megalomic875]

@@SongsAboutHappiness bro really scrolling KZbin comments just to hate on a Friday night

[@SongsAboutHappiness]

@@megalomic875 and you scrolled through them to reply to me what your point hypocrite. You're here replying tf. So obnoxious and obviously insecure. What a performative manchild. Bro really bro really. The consequences of millennials watching the office each nerd thinking they're in front of an audience grow up.

[@swe4831]

All of your are corny weirdos. Most guys I know that get around and have relationships are too busy having fun and just vibing to worry about saying "uuuh" too much, philosophising about how much pride and ego they have and if they impress people. It reeks of insecurity and having a stick up your ass. It's also deeply immature.

[@rockisawesome100]

Josh provided more parenting and relationship advice in a single video than my parents did during my whole childhood.... well said my man!

[@pietwitten640]

Because John says what you wanted t hear. Everyone who claims there's no Alpha is stupid

[@morpheus_uat]

don't be too harsh on your parents, they didn't prepare themselves for 20+ years to have the perfect parenting and relationship advice, they learned with you as you grew

[@CalebTheOwlBoy]

@@morpheus_uat Let's not defend the negative impacts of neglectful people, shall we? You clearly didn't listen to a thing he just said.

[@morpheus_uat]

​@@CalebTheOwlBoy bad parenting advices =/= neglectful parenting im sorry your parents were negelctful, but not all parents are like yours

[@Tespri]

All he said "be a-hole" instead of decent human being

[@TheBusbyBabes]

funfact: the guy that came up with the alpha wolf hypothesis, later corrected himself after he found out that packs of wolves usually are families and the "alpha" just is the dad of the pack

[@medraen]

Right. If you want to be alpha, you need to make a family and be an alpha role model for your kids. Nothing ii more shamefull than to be viewed by your kids as someone lesser.

[@hunterlurvey698]

@@medraen youve failed to see the point

[@devinnie7572]

@@hunterlurvey698 In their defense you've failed to have a point.

[@suckit4669]

Do you people actually believe when some "alpha male guru" talks about alphas, he's talking about wolfs or the actual theory of it? At this point, I wouldn't even be surprised if you think someone calling someone else a sheep is them actually saying a biological sheep. You can trash talk these guys all you want but you all just kinda seem disingenuous.

[@Rig0r_M0rtis]

no, the alpha male was observed in wolfes in captivity where packs were formed by mostly unrelated members who fight over leadership. In the wild where the packs are usually consisted of a breeding pair and their cubs with the parents being the natural leaders. As the cubs mature they leave the pack and become solitary while trying to find a mate to start their own pack.

[@chrisjohn85]

As a teacher I love all of what you are saying. Our young people need more messages like this, they are starving for role models.

[@irishchick6315]

Agreed qe need more positive, wide ranging male role models for men and boys and heck for women too.

[@ekki1993]

They are flooded with bad role models too, unfortunately.

[@Necroskull388]

@@irshad334This is the most insecure projection ever lmao. Do you need a hug?

[@thediamonddust]

​@@irshad334 Who hurt you? He's one of the least intimidating guys you'll ever meet and stands for being a decent human being - one that actively encourages others to be the best they possibly can.

[@FrenkieWest32]

messages like 'dont apologize' and 'play the chicken game with silences'? I don't see how this is impressive advice to be honest. The topic on modern ''alphas'' is better though.

[@Yomush]

2:59 I can confirm that this is 100% true. When I was setting up a bank account and just waited patiently without saying a word for the staff to finish whatever they were doing they were constantly going like "sorry it takes so long" and stuff like that even when I geniuinely wasn't even getting impatient. Just staring at them in silence and waiting. It's wild how you can intimidate people by simply not speaking

[@muhwyndham]

I've been the kind of people that doesn't engage in conversation against other people. Not that I want to look cool but I honestly felt very awkward and don't want to make other people uncomfortable. This, together with my looks that has that passive-anger face whenever I rest my face, unfortunately cause people to be scared at me. So yeah, intimidation through silence is super effective.

[@Azdaja13]

I used to get told off when I worked at a call centre for my local County Council because I used to be silent while I was thinking and had nothing to say to whoever was on the phone and they used to tell me to actually insert random filler crap. So I was like "The computers are slow" and then got told off again for admitting the system was shite.

[@neoqwerty]

@@muhwyndham Hey fellow quiet resting b*tchface sufferer! I understand your pain of accidentally scaring people away, a good prop to have on you is obvious wired earbuds (only put one in if they're good at noise blocking), that usually makes people think you're listening to something else and concentrating, instead of scowling at them.

[@irenafarm]

I learned in fast food to only apologize to the aggressively rude customers. Otherwise, I would just let customers know why they’re waiting and if possible, the time we’d be waiting.

[@k.t.1641]

lol intimidated? They were just being polite. This sounds like the alpha male crap he’s talking about.

[@Meow_Tse-Tung]

I've never been into the "Alpha" stuff, but I've had a long running issue with depression and self worth. I needed this video. It's not a solution, but I really needed this. Thank you man :')

[@Showerofjyzz]

Youre not alpha

[@Meow_Tse-Tung]

@@Showerofjyzz What does that even mean, Mr. Jizz Shower? Very *A L P H A* name, by the way. 🚿 💦

[@Sarydormi]

And we love you nonetheless

[@lowpointfair4653]

People going on about being "alpha" is most often the most insecure people as they need that front to feel good about themselves

[@Sarydormi]

@@Noxti r/thanksimcured material right here

[@thegamesforreal1673]

As an introvert that just stares at people in conversations and lets silences fall: "Ah, you think silence is your ally... I was born it. Molded by it. I didn't even hear anyone speak until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but DEAFENING!"

[@XCAL1BR0]

Heard that stupid argument a few times. It mistakes temperament with personality type. There is pressure in that silence, and among introverted people many will feel anxious from feeling it's on them to break it. It's people of apathetic temperament who will not feel the pressure, and being introvert does not guarantee apathy.

[@anitoancognita7060]

YOU DIED

[@AzzRushman]

"You really are a good listener!" "I literally just don't want to talk."

[@scw55]

as someone comfortable in silence, there's nothing more cosy than existing in a space with a comrade with the same energy and silently enjoying being with them

[@CBman11037]

​@@AzzRushman How rude!

[@xDaedron]

I'm gonna say this as this video has truly moved me - thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've always strived to be a better person and try to uplift others, following a rule that "world is already a shit place, it needs a counterbalance" with me being said counterbalance. And it truly has melted me when you've said all the things a healthy person should do and it turned out I've been following them instinctively for a long time as I have struggled with insecurity for a very long time. Also your talk about motivation has completely refreshed my worldview as I've always perceived motivation as this force of nature that either comes or goes at a whim or is short burst of dopamine. I've never thought of it as a necesity such as eating or drinking - that it has to be constant and daily for healthy functioning. So mr Josh Strife Hayes/Says/Plays, I thank you for reinforcing me as being a good person. I've needed to hear that and I've did not expect how much I've needed that.

[@valritz1489]

This is great advice for public speaking or presentation! What fascinates me about the little vocalizations that people do is the different purposes they serve. There's obviously the buffering "uh," but one of my favorite bits of rhetorical trivia is the concept of "backchanneling." The next time you're having a conversation and someone else is speaking at length (telling a story, explaining something, etc.) focus on what sounds you make and when you make them. All the "yeah" and "uh huh" and other vocalizations, nodding along for comprehension, hissing or making a face to express sympathy for something painful. Those are backchannels. Any time the person speaking pauses--and they will pause, either to collect their thoughts or to make sure you understand--we backchannel. We make a noise to make sure they know we are listening, we are present, but at this time we do not wish to cut in.

[@Ariaaae]

haha same and I love how individually we're so similar yet so different given some odd cases that stick to mind, and also how interesting buffering for people with different cultures and languages is. as someone who was recently diagnosed with a very high score of adhd I realized and learned how bad I was at communicating and after this realization I notice many things differently and they became even more interesting, communcation is apparentlyyyyy a very very important and rewarding skill, wish me luck:))

[@dinckelman]

This Josh Hayes character is my role model. Well spoken, dresses nicely, talks about funny rpg stuff all day, good at what he does, and doesn't pretend to be anything

[@mcfarvo]

He is a cute little chap

[@Random__Dude.]

Agreed

[@Graahk-r8u]

he’s a good lad.

[@highdesertbiker]

simp

[@briochepanda]

Just enough chest on show to skirt between salacious and saucy.

[@Althocke]

Nice try Josh, but I know for a fact women only want two things: Well-written RPGs with an abundance of romance options, and clothes with pockets.

[@_megori]

hell yeah!

[@Loctorak]

Clothes with pockets is such a fair call, though. Ladies get absolutely shafted in the "viable pocket" department. Usually if they get anything, it's the silly little side pocket in a pair of skinny jeans that is only deep enough to hold one chicken nugget because it's primarily there for aesthetic purposes. Women deserve more useful pockets in more clothes!

[@Jenkkimie]

The biologist who initially made the discovery about the hierarchy of mob did his research on wolves and in the press release he stated specifically that it can not be applied to human beings. Later on he did a follow-up study and found out that his initial thesis didn't even stand scrutiny, for even in wolves the leader of the pact is always the wolf whose skills fit the situation the best and they switch around the leader frequently. So not only was it never even applicable to human beings, even with wolves the premise didn't actually hold. But media perpetrated and marketed the initial lie long enough so that it became a "truth" among the unaware masses and these days the hierarchy usage is mostly reserved for the uneducated people. Besides as a psychologist (my first degree) I will give this advice: if beta is worse than alpha (math says hi), then by that logic alphas are still betas for they constantly brag about their "alpha-status". A truly confident person doesn't give two-shits what someone thinks about them, they simply do things because they've learnt genuine authentic confidence and in that confidence you live your life for yourself irrespective of what other people think about it.

[@mrman-yj3bn]

Beta

[@sauceless6666]

*a truly confident person doesn't NEED other people to think about them a certain way but still do care what they think they just don't model themselves around it

[@Null_Experis]

Explain silverback gorillas then. Humans are more closely related to the great apes anyway, so it makes sense that our natural social structure at the instinctual level more closely resembles them. Additionally, a leader in any group situation changes depending on who is stronger. Leadership is constantly challenged and defended.

[@mussdem]

I agree with all of what you said but holy shit you managed to word it in the most condescending way possible.

[@mrman-yj3bn]

@@mussdem I think he is just mad because he is a beta male and he knows it so he looks for studies to proove the opposite.

[@brandonkruse6412]

I can’t say this enough, but Josh is such a solid role-model for young men, especially gamers that often latch onto influencers. Since I’ve started watching him, I’ve noticed a lot of negative tendencies about myself and started bettering myself.

[@bmw9616]

He's a natural teacher. However, self isolation inside digital universes is regression of society.

[@Pagecraft]

That's wonderful and takes some mental strength to be able to do 👏🏻😊

[@evilseedsgrownaturally1588]

You dont actually need rolemodels. Its a euphemism for what is essentially cult of personality, but thats not sexy and wont sell a t-shirt, so we call it rolemodels instead. You need to understand that you can absolutely live a life without emulating the behaviour of a certain person. In fact, I dare venture the notion that trying to figure things out on your own, might actually be beneficial in terms of your development. If you put someone on a pedestal, you will eventually be subject to cognitive dissance, sunk cost fallacy due to time investments, and other weak rationalizations as you attempt to align yourself with this stranger. While Josh seems to be a nice person, there is little that warrants idolization from young men, gamers or not.

[@brandonkruse6412]

@@evilseedsgrownaturally1588 All of what you said could have been summed up in like two sentences mate. It’s not that deep.

[@Rreeeee]

@@evilseedsgrownaturally1588 people don't need rolemodels, but it helps to hear positive ideas of change from public figures you trust. You don't have to emulate them exactly, take what they say and take the parts you like and try applying them to your life to see if it helps or achieves the desired effect you want. Everything has already been done for the most part, so what's the harm in getting ideas for progress in others?

[@Cipriboris]

I'm happily married and all, and didnt feel represented by it, but the "congratulations, You are a nice guy, you have completed the bare minimun and are 1/10, what more?" Moment was just devastating on SO many ways XD

[@Tespri]

It was pretty much non-sense by him and proves he is just toxic dude gaslighting people who suffer. When people mention the "I'm nice guy" they always say it in context where people who are not nice toward others succeed easily on finding partner. Basically you and the OP himself are manipulative psychopaths. I feel sorry for your wife. How many times you beat her per day?

[@samizdatbroadcasts7654]

"Any man who must say I am the king is no true king." I think that principle applies here. If you have to act and prove you are "alpha", then you are not.

[@fishperson5390]

If you have to proof, sure, acting will just come naturally tho no problem with that

[@legend36555]

Charles dance will forever be the voice of that phrase.

[@robboss200]

"People hate silence" boy don't I know it. I remember one time my dad gave me control of the radio on a longer trip and I just told him to turn it off cuz I didn't like anything on the radio. He proceeded to ask me about 3 times if that's really what I wanted to do and he finally caved to it. I watched him squirm for 2 hours in the car because we didn't speak either, just total silence

[@AuspexAO]

Sounds like a blast.

[@blob22201]

Poor guy

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

I never understood the dislike for silence. I can sit in silence next to someone for hours

[@zyzyx4207]

My god, you really did him dirty

[@ZOMBIEo07]

You are the true chad.

[@TheCD123]

Hey thanks for all this. I’m a little bit older than the intended audience for it, but if 21 year old me could have had access to a video like this, he might have found happiness a whole lot sooner. You ever wonder why “alphas” only exist on social media? Because in the real world there’s social repercussions! They don’t tell you that though because their image is curated and decontextualized from actual community or group belonging.

[@tickledpickle5671]

I think Josh just told me everything I needed to hear in one rant. Thank you. I'm often told people love having me around. And I always find it strange, because I don't have the self-esteem to believe it. Either from psychological trauma, or otherwise, I have had a self-esteem for a while. Largely because I haven't forgiven myself for the awful stuff I did for 23 years. Everyone else has, but I haven't forgiven myself. Now, I can see a bit of hope for that to change.

[@Lagrangeify]

I think you've just described most average people. My partner thinks she's the most socially awkward person in any group, she doesn't recognise the bubbly and vivacious character everyone else sees, including me obviously. I'm similarly a swan gliding on the surface but paddling like crazy below it, but I accept it as how we all are, with an inner and outer world that aren't always in sync. To her it's all mad paddle and no glide.

[@thesunthrone]

I do like you drawing attention to the captivity part of the wolf pack experiment - because truth be told, "Alpha Male" culture is prison culture. In jail, yes, it absolutely does pay off to be the biggest, the most threatening guy there is. It absolutely pays off to have clearly visible status symbols so that everyone can tell at a glance not to mess with you. And by definition, this kind of prison culture is extremely adolescent. These are not sane and productive members of society for the most part - these are sociopaths, aggressive outliers, emotionally unwell people that have developed this type of behavior as a defense mechanism against the very real dangers in the world they are locked into. And that is why there is a significant amount of recidivism among long-term prisoners. They don't know how to exist into a normal society anymore, because normal society that has lasting power is built around consensual cooperation where both sides benefit. This absolutely frightens these kinds of people, because they have little self worth and cannot possibly understand how you could just -want- to help someone else, because the world they're in does not permit such displays. So they rather just get back inside that world, because at least there, they know the rules. There, they can survive. When I look at someone like Andrew Tate, I don't see no Top G, even though he has significant material wealth. What I see is a boy, a child, an emotionally stunted individual scarred by his parent's divorce that has led to him pathologizing human relationships and trying to assign everything a dollar sign. It's a way to quantify loss and comfort oneself that no, I am not losing, I am winning - see all the numbers, they go up! All of his behavior, his manner of talking, what he shows off - it's all a warning sign, "don't mess with me, this will hurt you more than it hurts me". And that is because he is absolutely terrified of being hurt. All the security, all the guards, all this goofy "I'll be a real life Bond villain" showoff nonsense is just a scared child acting out his fantasies of what a real man is - no different from a 12 year old smoking behind the school's fence, thinking this'll make him look adult and serious. These kinds of people live in a prison. They can never relax, they can never just chill and be, they are constantly engaged in an existential battle over proving their self-worth, because they fear feeling useless and alone. So everything around them must be a symbol that shows the opposite, and the bigger and louder that symbol, the more comforting.

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

My experience with highschool was prison like, so I see why this would catch on easily.

[@frits191]

Well said, I believe a big part of the audience are teenagers/adolescents who are still figuring out or struggling with finding their personality, a bit like the "10 steps to become a billionare" and hey theres proof the person who wrote the book is super rich. It sounds logical somewhere right? Following someone and copying their behavior is very human, and alot safer than figuring it out for yourself where you might fall down or it doesnt work out or is awkard etc. And indeed if they have this alpha male/prison male mentality they get from these icons, it creates borderline sociopathic people who usually get into trouble or ostrasized even more. I will also always say, as a man myself, A real man doesnt care what other think about him, a real man is just himself, and people around you appreciate you for who you are. Focus on your good traits, positivity is always a better base than dominance for a relationship.

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

@@frits191 Wouldn't the real man be maladjusted to their environment, if we could measure outcomes and being a real man was not rewarded or even shunned?

[@thisisobviouslybait]

It has nothing to do with jail. It is biological and exists beyond just humans. That was a nice long rant trying to justify your unshakable sense of inferiority but you should try visiting reality.

[@frits191]

@@JohnSmith-ox3gy This might be cause im not natively english but I'm sorry I dont exactly know what you mean with the first sentence? measure what outcomes? And why exactly would a real man be maladjusted? what is your definition of maladjusted in this case? And if you are being shunned for just being yourself, I'd say get new friends, they sound toxic af.

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

Relationships with anyone, whether it is at work, with friends, or dating, is all about trust. You can be weird if you want. If you respect others, and if you are someone that is trustworthy, you will connect with others.

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

@@spankyspork5808 It's not my problem if you don't believe it.

[@KlebinDaBoca]

Josh never disappointed me with his rants. Feels good, man.

[@sebastianphilipps1754]

He is english, speaking is ranting

[@KlebinDaBoca]

@@sebastianphilipps1754 fair enough

[@anon-il9qf]

Kind of dissapoints me, some of the gurus are off, but ain't nothing wrong with men who are courageous and confident and want to be in charge of society. Go on, tell me what's wrong with anything I said in the above statement. I'll wait.

[@KlebinDaBoca]

@@anon-il9qf why should I? If you clearly believe them and wanna try it, go on. If me personally not liking and disagreeing with the manospehere coaches and therefore agreeing with Josh's point hurt you, that's for you to work with therapy, not for me to change your mind.

[@cynthiahembree3957]

@@anon-il9qf No one said there is anything wrong with that. What he said is treating your partner like a slave is wrong because it is. Thinking you are entitled to someone's love, respect, or physical body is wrong there is no disputing that.

[@TorIverWilhelmsen]

When someone says "alpha male" I think of them in terms of software: An incomplete release with known faults that should be exposed to as few paople as necessary.

[@lukasmisanthrop8557]

i wish i had a dollar evertime someone explains that

[@1IGG]

​@@lukasmisanthrop8557But what would you do with your one dollar?

[@lukasmisanthrop8557]

@@1IGG what i mean is that this gets posted very often and i would have alot of money by now, i hope i explained that in a manner you can understand

[@jsgdk]

When someone talks about this stuff they are forgetting the first rule. I have had alot of fun talking with women about "game" stuff but it was women that were already into me and that I was already intimate with, then they find it scary fascinating. But guys who feel a need to talk about this stuff outside of specific male spaces and need to evangelize have a long way to go.

[@Ruairoquai]

Nerd.

[@ClockworkGearhead]

The virgin Josh Strife Says: *coherent arguments* The Chad Alpha: *random noises and arm waving*

[@Tespri]

He literally provided nothing worth while and was just insulting people for helping others to find girlfriend.

[@tbotalpha8133]

@@Tespri He literally gave direct advice about what to do. Take care of yourself, in terms of hygiene and exercise. Stop thinking that "being a nice guy" is enough to deserve a woman's attention. Change your goal from "make women like me" to "become a person that people like to be around". And my personal advice: stop basing your self-worth on whether or not you've had sex, or if you have a girlfriend. It's not important. Anyone who says it is, is just trying to make you act like them. And women can tell when you're desperate like that. It comes off you like a bad smell. The instant you stop being so desperate for a girlfriend, so desperate to lose your virginity... when you stop treating women as a tool for your own fulfilment, you will find it so much easier to talk to them. And so much easier to form healthy, happy, lasting relationships with them. That might even lead to sex! But if you keep treating women like a goal, like a trophy, then all you are doing is sabotaging yourself.

[@Tespri]

@tbotalpha8133 sorry to break this to ypu... skncr you clearly are a virgin. It takes more than personal hygiene and exercise to get a woman. Also nice guy is precisely what should get women's attention. Thing is... they aren't nice to get some action. They are naturally kind people and they see psychopaths like the creator of this video get action by being opposite of kind Too easy

[@Tespri]

@@tbotalpha8133 He didn't, basic hygienia and working out isn't going to give you GF. Hilarious cope though... People who act nicely gets dismissed and women go precisely to the "desperate guys who treat women as tool for their own fullfillment" why do you think that players are so popular? XDDDD Thanks for proving to everyone that you've never been with a woman.

[@jongiles415]

I'm a guitar guy, Josh and I can totally say it does not get the ladies. Sometimes in high school but not anymore, gotta provide like an adult. Love your videos, man. Always straight from the heart and loving it, value words, value yourself, value your skills. Being a good human isn't saying "I'm a good person." Actions speak louder than words, an old saying so often forgotten.

[@Ryuujinv01]

I don't think it's the guitar itself, but what playing it represents. It's a display of multiple other qualities that are attractive to everybody not just the ladies and not just in a romantic sense. The passion and dedication to attain competency, and the confidence that comes with those things. If you're otherwise kind of awkward people see you in a different light when you're playing because it's something you're confident in.

[@VainSick]

@@Ryuujinv01 wish being confident in playing videogames could be attractive but no matter how passionate about them I am, it’s nothing like music or painting unfortunately. So not every hobby has the same attraction Appeal unfortunately. But I guess that’s to be expected, chess isn’t attractive either despite its extremely demanding level of intellectual competency, music is just So universally engrained in people.

[@painunending4610]

​@@Ryuujinv01 As someone who used to have those traits I just wanna say in my experience nobody noticed, nobody cared Confidence is not attractive. I know this from personal experience

[@obsidianflight8065]

​@@painunending4610 i think confidence isnt attractive, but a lack of confidence is likely unattractive

[@camielpovel6290]

@@VainSick It is. Confidence in many things is attractive. Being able to genuinenly enjoy something, explaining it enthusiastically is very attractive. You can't be a dick about someone else's preferences though. If your significant other doesn't enjoy you being happy about it maybe it's not a right match.

[@majesticslug3399]

There's a distinction between confidence and competence. Sadly most people have trouble distinguishing between the two.

[@2103038335]

That's true but even unearned confidence can get you ahead in life. Just look at how far Donald Trump managed to get.

[@FByrde]

I think you just made my week! I have this habitual reflex to clench my jaw whenever I hear the terms "Alpha", "Beta", "Sigma" etc. (The dumb shit I've seen attached to these harmless letters is astonishing.) So hearing the opinion of an actual sane adult human being on the internet is an absolute blessing. Anyway, as an actual woman I can confirm: every woman likes different things. Speaking only from a physical perspective, some women will absolutely jump on Gigachad, whereas I and many other woman would prefer our panda-bodded Buddha boys, and even more other women can't get enough of those wiry Link whippets. (and that's just the hetero-, bi-, and pansexual ones) Men have many different preferences in the physical realms, don't assume that women aren't exactly the same. Also, for the Good Calf guy: don't even mention them, wear shorts everywhere and let your calves speak for themselves 😉I guarantee there's a woman out there looking for the perfect rugged angle of a well-turned calf.

[@jesperengelbredt]

Anyone who declares himself to be "alpha" is garantied not to be alpha male in any way. A real, masculine man, is humble and has no need to brag about himself or try to make others feel lesser.

[@Bruhx10]

Goes that way a lot in life, there's a lot of that with most of the "nice guys" being cunts. Think where I've really noticed it is in any kind of team environment and someone declares themselves in charge. They're usually the worst option because if you're in charge by choice you're not looking for the best way to solve problems (usually found through collaboration) but instead wanna dominate Like seriously the amount of times be it in uni courses, work etc where I've seen the person declared in charge largely be just another voice, while the one listening to the group and not seeking to order anyone tends to be the one everyone listens to

[@simontmn]

The king who has to tell everyone he's the king, is no king.

[@ArlindoBuriti]

they are not humble... they just don't care. it is kind of insane how you people say that this guys that are masculine have this good traits when in reality they just does not care about the world ouside there family.

[@mochabearry]

@@ArlindoBuriti That's an amazing trait to have.

[@mariapaz6379]

Anyone who is more focused on their masculinity over being themselves and being a good person, is just chasing a dream.

[@EmhyrEmreis]

Absolutely phenomenal rant that I (myself being 30+ year old guy) 100% agree with. Especially since for a bit of a time in my teenage years I asked exactly that wrong question instead of asking myself "How can I improve myself" - not only to be more attractive, but just to be a better, more fulfilled person. Thanks Josh for saying this, I truly believe that I could have used that advice as a teenager - and hopefully there will be someone from your audience that can use that to improve their life. :)

[@cattysplat]

People want quick fixes, especially the young who lack patience and struggle to harness their overflowing energy, so they lash out instead.

[@NorthWolf97]

This was a very nice and uplifting video. I really liked hearing someone else acknowledge that the Alpha wolf myth is a hoax. Though during the "im a nice guy" part, I became aware of my terrible self worth. In two days I'm becoming a 26 year old virgin. I don't refer myself a "nice guy". And god forbid you do it accidentally because you know you're just overall nice to people. As that's now a social death sentence. This just reaffirms that I'll never be good enough. So I don't even try with dating and never had. Why bother when I provide no value?

[@neoqwerty]

Come on. I'm going to shove my art therapy at you and we'll see if that's a tiny step forward or a swing and a miss. I want you to list five things that you do that you've heard others appreciate. (No, it doesn't have to be them talking about you. For example, hearing someone go "I like punctual employees" and then thinking on it and realizing you don't usually miss meetings or other scheduled stuff, that counts on the list.) Then, I want you to look at those five things, and evaluate if they're also things that other people do around you all the time, and I want you to judge people as strictly as possible on that side. The problem with low self-worth is that you see yourself distortedly and you're not always a reliable judge of what "bare minimum nice" is VS "went out of your way to be kind/nice to others". I cited punctuality as my example because my art therapist had to break it to me that most people AREN'T reliably punctual and always either ahead of time or right on the dot, they usually run late. And that being reliable and punctual was actually something rarer than I thought it was and people around me... actually like me being the reliable guy. So dismantle what "nice" means to you into actions you do, and then check if that's something everyone else does or things people SAY everyone should do and then they don't do it much. You owe it to yourself to not be your own worst enemy and show yourself a little kindness, too.

[@Tespri]

Hoax? Nah it being "myth" is hoax. Humanity has always been hiearchical and women have always lusted for the top men of the society. Never on the underdog. Also don't buy into the bs that the video spreads. Work hard yourself in manner of self-improvement. If you have no value, then build up yourself to someone who has more value. The left wing values itself will automatically keep you virgin forever.

[@Tespri]

@@neoqwerty the video was incredibly hostile toward men who struggle to find a GF and didn't provide any meaningful advice beside insulting actually useful advices. It's easy for the Josh say these things when he doesn't need social skills to get women. He has his natural look for that. So anything he says should be ignored since he never had to work on finding women. The "bare minimum" i bs and you know it. If it would count then toxic men wouldn't get anyone to bed.

[@LarkyLuna]

The obsession with being alpha just oozes insecurity lol It's just a deterrent

[@SongsAboutHappiness]

just like women speaking on mens issues oozes touched

[@SaitouMikey]

@@SongsAboutHappiness what does this even mean? Lmaoo just say you hate women

[@SongsAboutHappiness]

@@SaitouMikey why should women have a say in what men should or shouldn't be doing. Women got a say in how boys should be taught and look how that turned out. Single moms raise boys and we see how much that effects them. A woman doesn't know what being a man feels like. They shouldn't have a say. You don't ask a blind man what it means to see because it's not something he knows, lives. What does 'alpha" mean to a woman with LunaLark as a name? You have generations of young men desperate to grasp responsibility, determination, to impose their will on the world like countless men before them. Most men in America say they have given up in the system. That's just right now. As we know bad things don't just stay at 50. They spiral. What does being a man mean to a woman who isn't even in the real of understanding. Imagine being a young 15 yo man. Child in someways with the future on the horizon. What awaits him? Joblessness? Homelessness? War? Famine? Infertility and chronic illness? All of these are going on right now. And i find it abhorrent that women wag their smug fingers drowning in the same boat. oh wow the obsession with floating just oozes insecurity lol! These men never had a father or grandfather who wasn't on the clock and consuming. Those men lived off the hard work of other men. What does it mean to be 'alpha" to a woman? To not let yourself be fucked with? You have to understand women FEEL and are performative. What the gender with the most mental illness and identity crisis with the most attempts wants these young men is to embrace Doom. To not step on anyone's toes. To stand their and be humiliated. We rn are at the reform stage. What has historically happened when men are done with a system what do you think they'll do? What do you think a hormonally and mentally stunted manchild that was force-fed GMO food, grew up pxrn and game addicted will do when he throws a tantrum?

[@SongsAboutHappiness]

@@SaitouMikey you laugh because you're a useless man that is afraid to admit he did nothing and because of his in action the world is worse off. That is why you spazz out and try to keep hungry men from acting because then that'd mean YOU were capable but too cowardly to do so. Infact emasculated men like you shouldn't have an opinion on manhood either.

[@jmbl3572]

​@I'm Dead holy shit man go whack off or something. It's not all women's fault your mommy treated you badly.

[@sloesty]

I picked up teaching this year in an almost all boys school and the number of times I heard Andrew Tate is disgustingly high. What I actually try to tell the kids (they don't really listen tho) is that life is pretty much about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

[@poopsymcloopsy]

That's a great lesson. I feel like so much of the worst in humanity is brought out by the belief that the goal of living is to eventually become perpetually comfortable. Have all the money you need. Get a big house. Get a big car. Find a partner who is so loyal they'll never leave or have so many partners rotating in and out you're never alone. So many ambitions like that that trap people in an endless cycle of getting a little cozier in the hopes of one day feeling 100% secure without realizing that the human mind is geared to never be 100% pleased no matter how much luxury you have. If kids learned to just feel okay with themselves and live with that little nagging voice that keeps asking for more rather than giving into it every time it peeps up there'd be a lot fewer sad little boys out there clinging to monsters like Tate.

[@TYR1139]

New gen of human traffickers I see

[@orsikocs]

Thank you for trying. The youth need people who do not give up on them.

[@madeline6951]

​@ghostface3279You're assuming money is universally understood as good. Maybe a kid respects the overworked teacher for sacrificing a lot to work with kids. I was that kid. The tator tot, on the other hand, screams insecurity. He needs to prove to everyone how tough he is, which just looks pathetic. Not to mention how he does nothing positive for society.

[@orsikocs]

@ghostface3279 i had a teacher who instilled in me a love for literature, she was very passionate about it and had a positive attitude and rewarded people who prepared and had thoughts of things. I had to leave that school when i was 14 and she gave me a box of wonderful reads for that summer as she knew she might never see me. It was the best gift i have ever received in my life and bot just because the books were good but she cared about me. Caring goes a long way. Further than money. It’s not even a matter of looking up to someone but to know that someone cares.

[@dydx_]

9:10 As a guy, I am so glad to have grown up with women primarily. A 9y older sister, my cousins (5 and 7 years older), my aunt and my incredible mother. It's probably only because of them that I had gotten exposed to some great male role models. I remember watching TV with all of the family at eve and hearing them discuss various characters in movies, etc. It's also thanks to them that I was able to look up to women as role models as well just as much as men, and it really is a shame how many other boys do not get to experience this and have to rely on some of the worst people too look up to because they are being shamed by those "role models" into ignoring all the healthy alternatives.

[@ShiftTheMatrixGaming]

That does not make sense you should be looking up to men a little more not women, the divine masucline and feminine are real. the alphe is a psy op but so is the other extreme.

[@Eddeong]

i’m glad somebody asked josh that question, because ever since i started watching his streams, i’ve been paying more attention to how i communicate, even to the point of actively looking for classes i can partake in to improve my comms lmao mans out here making me appreciate words

[@Joe-it2dh]

WAIT! You're telling me that there is so many outtakes that we could watch full length videos of just those?! WHY AREN'T WE?! You're slacking, Mr Editor (I don't know the proper spelling of your name so now you're Mr Editor).

[@JoshStrifeSays]

I actually collect those to a Josh Strife Hayes Raw Uncut (...) project file and am planning to upload as a clip compilation of those which didnt make into their own videos 👍🏻

[@KlebinDaBoca]

@@JoshStrifeSays wow, Josh's uncut content... That's a whole package.

[@dafire9634]

​@@JoshStrifeSays that is great news

[@simontmn]

I'm a University lecturer and this is all great advice. I learned to do "Thank you for waiting" not "Sorry I'm late" a good while back.

[@austinackermann3731]

Good phrase. I will now commandeer it for use in my future escapades. Have a good day!

[@vocaloidmaniac]

Hi Josh, been a subscriber on the main channel for a few months now, and i'm glad this popped in my recs. I went for a gathering with my friend and her sister, both of em said that i was being a "gentleman" while i felt like i was doing the bare minimum. I definitely feel like the "loud role models" had been influencing so many people, that their standards dropped quite a bit. Truth be told, I was looking for a way to improve myself from just being a nice guy to somewhere a bit more - watching this made me realize that the thing i needed was to add value to others. It may not happen instantly, but I now understand better of what i needed to do. Much appreciated, and blesses to you, fam.

[@0The_Farlander0]

As an autistic person who has avoided any "alpha" nonsense content like the plague, I feel like this video has presented information in a way that feels like I've stumbled across some kind of secret code. I'm going to bookmark this and come back to it to remind myself when I need to work on my speech and being taken more seriously as a person.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Well done mate

[@DJ_POOP_IT_OUT_FEAT_LIL_WiiWii]

As a beta man I relate. My mother was a dwarf in a travelling circus in Birmingham. My father played the tuba at the zoo. And my grandfather was my father. Not all were heroes at the front.

[@kalebgonzales4009]

Thank goodness you talked about this, I find alpha, sigma, ligma a bunch of bull. You wanna be a man, go through your struggles as a witty and wise person and handle it no matter how easy or hard it is. Complete it, even if you are on your own, because not everyone can help you.

[@lazydelibird]

As a ligma male I have the authority to say that you are utterly incorrect in your opinion. Clearly my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular will leave you speechless for your feeble mind can’t even comprehend it. Ok in all seriousness yeah, that whole thing is absolute garbage. And what I don’t get is that being a dick is what some believe they have to be if they want to be in a relationship. No, they probably chose the asshole guy cuz they have something to I guess compensate for that compared to the bare minimum of a nice guy who doesn’t have anything else besides that.

[@ErwinPommel]

Ligma?

[@Bornagainvillain]

If people did their research instead of making hit pieces because men are revolting, they would learn that these red pill channels say exactly this. You fools just hate that men are legitimate angry about things that concern them, and don’t want them expressing that anger.

[@Gamez4eveR]

@@ErwinPommelligma cds nuts gotem lmao

[@Loctorak]

​@@Gamez4eveRayyyy we gottem, lads 😎

[@angrybidoof847]

The giga chad isn't even based on what "women want". It's based on what the men that make them think women want

[@Speederzzz]

Every woman I've heard talk about the Gigachad guy finds him kinda gross lol

[@kaiosamatlj4031]

He looks like a rock golem. And I think The Thing is ironically enough more handsome than him.

[@Necroskull388]

I remember this being a big discourse several years ago. Every time someone said something about female sexualization in games, some kid would counter back “But Kratos also doesn’t wear a lot of clothes and is really muscular! It’s pandering to women too!” Completely missing that Kratos (of that era) was repulsive to most women. He was meant for men to project onto.

[@angrybidoof847]

@@Necroskull388 power fantasy Vs sexualisation is lost on a lot of people aprently.

[@Randomlad56]

⁠@@angrybidoof847 not to sound rude, but how did such “male power fantasies” leak into women’s romance novels? Imho it’s probably something with both men and women, thinking that doing a certain thing, will bring a certain result, like math, but in reality, life is like literature, there are many ways to see it, and there are many ways to read/live it

[@12SickOne34]

This made me think of a quote from Tywin Lannister: "Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king." This translates 1 to 1 to these self-proclaimed Alpha Males. And I find that extremely amusing

[@MV-ri7zu]

However this becomes more complex once you understand people like Andrew Tate are playing a character on social media to get more people to buy the program lol he is not like that in private and its pretty clear to see. Many of his and other similar influencers obsessed fans are actual clowns tho no doubt that.

[@douwehuysmans5959]

No it becomes simpler, not more complex

[@anon-il9qf]

I find it funny how you take unironic IRL advice from a fictional character. What the character was referring to, was that if you need to try to convince or force people into thinking that you have authority, then you may not have authority. That doesn't mean people who are kings can't refer to themselves as kings. What do you think they had in the middle ages or in GOT. They didn't announce the king as the king? The king had no title? Just saying. You're running with an explanation you got from a TV show. Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house.

[@12SickOne34]

@@anon-il9qf Talking about funny. You're completely missing the point.

[@FrenkieWest32]

@@anon-il9qf Is there a specific reason it is so strange to ''take advice'' from a fictional character? Yes that what you say is what the character is referring to, and the parallel to the ''self-proclaimed alphas'' is that they are desperately trying to convince others they are impressive through this awkward construct of personality types rather than just being a certain way and letting others be the judge of it. ''Alpha'' also isnt a title, so there is no need to refer to yourself as alpha or be announced as alpha or whatever.

[@wiasofficial]

This is an incredible video. Thank you!

[@michaelknoll2295]

You are a good guy. Life got a lot simpler when I realised how far empathy can get you.

[@MmmmmNnnnn]

Josh has that "I have no enemies" vibe

[@EXrez0]

Super eloquently put! Public speaking is a fear to a lot of people but don't realize they have the power. Loved the rant!

[@randomwalk1551]

I used to work at a call center that marked random calls. They hated nesting sounds. You try to train yourself out of it fast

[@araposkulo]

I think many young men also fall into the trap of "I am who I am and whoever wants to be with me has to accept me for who I am". This is not necessarily a bad line of thought if you are talking about core values, but it seems to me that most of us just apply it for everything. The result? You end up being stubborn and rigid. Co-existing with other people, wether it is within a relationship or not, requires the opposite: Flexibility.

[@zavi3rz]

You're only half correct there. If you're too flexible with your partner and sacrifice your own needs, it will not last long and one day you will break. What we need is a little of both. Not afraid to show your real self, while actively finding middle ground with your partner whenever there's a conflict. What we need is communication.

[@araposkulo]

@@zavi3rz yup. Never claimed the opposite

[@IAmebAdger]

You need to be flexible because it's very rare that someone is a perfect match for someone else from the get go in every aspect... scratch that, that's practically impossible. So yeah, willingness to compromise or change yourself is needed up to a point.

[@FrenkieWest32]

@channel_lurker and you won't feel joy anymore if you have to stray too far from your initial position, which was the point they made.

[@Randomlad56]

@channel_lurker it do be like that when dating for dudes thoughbeit

[@TheNoctarius]

There should be a channel where Josh just sits in a comfy chair, sips tea and talks about whatever goes trough his head. Could watch that for hours.

[@36424567254]

why, isn't this it? who's even paying attention to the game

[@takeinterest1497]

I've never encountered Josh until recently and my god this is the most articulate and decent man I've chosen to watch. So refreshing to hear like minds in such a foggy world. Keep on keeping on you clean ol boi

[@RobinTheMetaGod]

You pascifist morons are making it harder for alphas to appear like alphas because you keep spreading the stupid misinformation that negativity, anger, dominance, or manliness, are traits of an "egostical" "illeducated" blinded outdated or "insecure" manchild. Even though you pascifist submissive beta male people are the ones being the manchild.

[@arilas1882]

During my teenage years I was struggling a lot with being myself (like a lot of other teens), class was really hard for me since I was a really calm kid with a total opposit of my class, they accepted me as the "Calm Kid". I struggled a lot with depression and I took my father as my role modele. You talking about it made me feel good, you reminded me that during this time as a teenager.young adult you can be really lost, lucky for me I wasn't on social medias, tried to avoide it because I was and still think it's a really dumb place

[@selbergful]

I really liked what you had to say in this video. I went through a tough time in my early thirties and found myself sucked in by the red pill/MGTOW messaging. I found my way back to reality, but the insidious part of that messaging is there is a lot of truth to what they say, but their idea of masculinity is like you said, arrogant and violent; rather than being an alpha, be a leader, and as you said work to raise the people around you to the highest level they can reach.

[@alesgrym4622]

I have autism spectrum disorder, i have to read out loud in order to comprehend usually, even when alone. reading aloud was always terrible in school, i stutter when nervous, i have gotten a lot better about remembering i am a male and that the world will expect me to behave accordingly. Having a male role model is SO unbelievably important, I am 37 american, never encountered a man that changed the way I look at everything, until 5 years ago as a lead at my current job, a man from India, he was more brave than the other American leads that tried to treat him like he was a "little girl", called him that... because he was not afraid to show emotion, non-native English speaker leading meetings that the other thug leads were too scared.. he showed kindness when i had a health issue affecting my productivity, even when he would get extremely angry he would always pause before speaking, bc he knew you only have the chance to react once, Best think on it before you can't take it back, his courage and discipline, kindness and truth to his self, while not needing to belittle others. Didn't have a father figure growing up, he became that in a way i never thought possible (as a role model), unfortunately we had an issue and I didn't understand at the time, the importance of thinking before reacting. I am homosexual, physically masculine, but my "sexuality" is closer to a female, my thoughts go places like, what man would make a good father. My autism causes me to analyze my thoughts in a manner similar to obsessive compulsive manner, but thought i could never "be a man" with the set and setting Then I realized my perspective on men, if I analyze what I find most "attractive" (not talking physical) in that man, and try to act on it, maybe i will one day be Confident, Emotionally Intelligent, Kindness, Responsible, Uplifting, Respectful Such good content my man, thank you

[@mgass1354]

It's not that Josh doesn't make good points; he does. He misses a very important point, however. People that are in charge, don't need to TELL people they are in charge. They know their authority, know how to enforce it, and aren't afraid to do so. They aren't running around telling people how "alpha" they are. They don't need to buff up who they are. They have already taken control of their life, achieved things in it, rose to that level. If a person is claiming they are the alpha, or whatever it is now, the supreme commander, the ultimate big cheese, they aren't. If they were, they wouldn't be telling people they are. The people who do it haven't risen to that level in their life, so, they have to buff themselves up in other ways, ie, trying to convince others that they are something they aren't.

[@theashkaari8032]

"And any man who must say 'I am king' is no true king at all." - Tywin Lannister

[@kaingates]

This is a bit innocent don't you think? Attention culture rewards people going old school Ye and say "I'm a God" because attention = social capital = money. Yes you're never the big boss but I don't think even Andrew Tate truly believes he's more in charge than the Romanian human traffickers he launders money for. But it does definitely help him get attention, money and social mobility. The alpha mindset is a reaction to who's attainable successful in our culture because nobody believes they're going to be the next KRAFT, Purdue or Morgan Chase. But they can become the people these companies pay to promote their products. That's the alpha mindset: it's how to become the crab in the bucket on top of all the other crabs.

[@tomasjonsson7141]

Sounds like the top L

[@Joestar012]

I think you're missing the point. The whole, alpha male thing doesn't really exist in human society outside of prison.

[@tranquero]

As Tywin Lannister said, "Any man who must say, I am the king, is no true king."

[@celfhelp]

there's a line from early One Piece that summarizes my view of "real alphas" pretty well: "that man has the most terrifying power of all: the ability to turn anyone he meets into an ally" and he's talking about Luffy, the biggest doofus moron in the entire series, but with a heart of pure gold

[@RomanHistoryFan476AD]

But doesn't luffy and most characters in anime draw people to them due to being powerful powerscaling wise.

[@xhyunjones1513]

@@RomanHistoryFan476AD nah not entirely, some just are good people that move people to be better. Yes, some anime mc's get their point across through battle but its more their unrelenting ability to never give up and to always stand by their morals that draws people to them.

[@RomanHistoryFan476AD]

@@xhyunjones1513 I would say the two are interwind, you need strength to say such things or face such evils, but you need the ability to inspire and talk to people to also understand them and make them be loyal to you like most anime main character groups of friends tend to be. Shame we have so few characters like Anime protagonists in most westerns shows these days.

[@xhyunjones1513]

@@RomanHistoryFan476AD very true, but i think that they still teach kindness and acceptance. My little sister watches Bluey sometimes and while that show can get annoying sometimes it shows how lovely and kind that family is.

[@RomanHistoryFan476AD]

@@xhyunjones1513Some do teach that, others though teach you to forgive genocidal rulers from space when they say "sorry" and then let them off free for their crimes. I don't know what Bluey actually is, that a spin off from Blues clues?

[@vast634]

Outtakes: Sure they are, but Josh can speak very well even in a livestream. And that's a rare skill.

[@Sniperbear13]

indeed. he has a great ability to be able to break things down and make them easy to understand.

[@AlonescapeRS]

the world needs more people to think like this, have josh as a role mode..

[@SongsAboutHappiness]

yeah dude what the world needs is more men brain dead to videogames like you hell yeah

[@KindredEmotions]

I’ve always just said or asked people to give me a moment to think about my response to whatever question they’ve asked me if I don’t have an immediate answer. They’ve always been accommodating and it’s certainly made my job interviews and general conversations a lot better.

[@MrJpurvis620]

Josh is slowly turning into my guru. Just some solid advice that applies to all relationships

[@jeffy1862]

You summed up my thoughts and feelings on the Roman alphabets community so very well. They always talk about being the meanest most self centered versions of themselves and call it their best self. It’s terrifying.

[@Speederzzz]

Greek alphabet. The roman alphabet people are the queers :P

[@wrongthinker843]

You create a strawman that you can safely proclaim superiority to. How are you different, except your "alpha" status existing in the realm of pure abstraction?

[@Necroskull388]

@@wrongthinker843Jesse what the fuck are you talking about?

[@jeffy1862]

@@wrongthinker843 I haven’t claimed superiority to anyone. I’ve asserted that I feel discomfort towards a group of people, and the behaviors that their philosophy of dominance and subservience creates. There’s no bragging or grandstanding in my comment about me being better than anyone.

[@wrongthinker843]

@@jeffy1862 Of course a beta immediately lies.

[@mfwnogf8249]

I just discovered you with this video and its a breath of fresh air in current internet. Please do more content with this style of "ranting" / "reality check" vibe. very true, refreshing & needed.

[@feriatm7769]

Thanks so much for sharing this Josh. I am an English teacher in training, and I really needed to know some tips on general speaking. In my class, there is this... "Alpha Male"... who is exactly as you stated, who happens to be my class representative. This man pisses me off so much with his behavior and attitude, talking about how being an Alpha Male is great, how to have control, how to "seduce women" as he says... He has literally no respect for others, no managing skills and no speaking skills. He got one of my classmates expelled as well... cause "I'm alpha male, I'm class representative and I have power". :/ Please, please, please anyone who is reading this, don't even think about being an "Alpha Male". Be good to each other. Be responsible. Thank you.

[@Dutchwheelchair]

thoso alpha guys are almost all abusers

[@AnonymousAnonposter]

@@Dutchwheelchair well, the "nice guys" are the ones actually being arrested for being sexual offenders and groomers...

[@Dutchwheelchair]

@@AnonymousAnonposter are serious? i hope your not lol

[@Necroskull388]

@@AnonymousAnonposterQuote unquote “nice guys” are the number one marks for falling into “alpha male” culture. They’re inextricably connected identities, and they’re both disgusting ways to look at the world. Everyone hates these types of guys.

[@Randomlad56]

@@Dutchwheelchair lol never heard of turtleneckemo? Or the fact that you can’t convince someone of hating themselves, unless they are either agreeing with their inferiority, or pretending to agree for malicious reasons? I’m sure you can’t even read this far, due to the deprivation and deprecation of the mind recently

[@chestbuster1987]

You!? Loitering?? My view of you has changed drastically, Sir! All joking aside, this was a great take.

[@moshrae]

This clip is golden. Thanks for it! And thank you Josh for your opinion, explanation.

[@snajperos]

I wonder, if Josh became biggest streamer on twitch, what impact on our society it would have.

[@haddib]

We'd probably dress better

[@rannnoch]

@@haddib We'd finally figure out what the absolute worst MMO actually is

[@Acueil]

As the hot tub streamers are leaving in droves to kick, that would not be a farfetched future.

[@nateg3962]

Had a public speaking professor in college who would chuck a quarter in a metal cup every time you said "um" during a speech (not every speech of course, as he was only mostly an asshole). It was admittedly a good way to become aware of those habits as most people don't notice how often they use those fillers.

[@Pagecraft]

I am a teacher as well, and it's heartbreaking to see how muddled (a lot of) the boys thinking has become thanks to the influence these "alpha" brutes. You are spot on in that it stems from a very natural and human insecurity and need for safety. I hope we (the adults and society at large) will be able to foster more security for them and in them, so that they can get in touch with their actual values and preferences and explore life on their own terms, in a way that isn't an absolute menace to the people around them.

[@RomanHistoryFan476AD]

You know why so many young teens have turned to these men? Because in our modern society boyish traits are being discredited, they are told being a boy is bad by the media who keep bashing men and ruining male icons. Who do modern young boys and men have to look up to for role models honestly?

[@zibix4562]

@@RomanHistoryFan476AD That is what im saying. We keep on harping about this without realizing the part society has played. Young men being blamed for the things they didnt do and told they were bad. Hell even i went through that and i literally never gotten suspended. Yes these influencers are questionable, but where do young men go? Listening to older women didnt help(made it worse actually), listening to young women doesnt help em, bringing attention to it makes people scream about how it is our fault and we deserve it(reminded me of an article talking about male sulcide rate). Combine that with the blatant misandry that is very public and acceptable among our politicians and journalist, and it makes you wonder does society just want men to go off themselves or just serve and be silent?

[@Luhlcoupee]

My whole life i’ve always tried to fit in to avoid being myself because i was always seen as weird, too quiet, too short, annoying, and lame. When i started fitting in ironically i got better results and less criticism but behind closed doors my mental health started going to shit now here i am 19 years old watching videos like this.. Man what a time to be alive

[@Densoro]

I think framing ourselves as _more or less impressive,_ having or not-having some quantifiable thing that makes us more valuable, can be a losing gambit in the long run. It's still playing into the rat race, the hierarchy. Insecure people will grind skills they have _zero interest in,_ not for the love of the activity but to preen for mates. I think love and attachment are more about _synergy._ Having an outlet. My partner loves wordplay and long, obsessive tangents -- what a coincidence, me too! Some people find that obnoxious as hell and shut me down when I try to express myself through those avenues, but my partner and I _encourage this behavior in each other._ I don't need to worry about being compared to anyone else -- fitter, more stable, with more opportunities. My idiosyncrasies just happen to match me with other people's idiosyncrasies.

[@sebastianvega4576]

thanks dude, the mentioned article (and your rant) was the kick in the nuts i have needed!

[@doneandbeyond2782]

The ones who spout alpha this; beta that, all the while patting themselves in the back approvingly, might be the most cringe individuals.

[@starofjustice1]

Not "might be".

[@ewabrzakaa6395]

they need to be introduced to concept of omegaverse 😉

[@madeline6951]

​@@ewabrzakaa6395they are already unwittingly utilising it, which makes it infinitely funnier

[@iantaakalla8180]

How do sigmas line up with omegas in the Omegaverse?

[@mike_mike_mike_mike]

I need to break this habit, especially bc I'm from New York and we don't say UMM OR UHH...we usually say FUCKING instead, no idea why

[@ellalalala4538]

Not often I stop cleaning to listen to my background noise video... was not expecting that level of insightful depth on a Tuesday morning. Bravissimo ❤

[@Cerasum_chrysanthes]

Josh just earned +1000 respect from me because of this. What a lad.

[@Taxiii91]

New fetish unlocked: stay infront of Josh while in silence

[@nimazsheik5152]

That initial advice is so helpful to me man. I just came to watch some random video that popped up on my feed, but I'm leaving with some genuine good advice!

[@stephenm2924]

This was a really good discussion, would love to see more like this from you

[@rinarina6247]

I think a fundamental misunderstanding nice guys have is the difference between being nice and kind. Being nice is holding the door, it’s saying please and thank you, it’s a basic social contract to signify you’re a decent person. Being kind, I think, is going out of your way to help people and support people. It’s cancelling your plans to go out so you can be with your friend who’s had a rough week. It’s cooking a meal for a loved one. It’s buying someone a gift you know they would love. And I firmly believe that if you’re a genuinely kind person, you’re far more likely not just to get into a relationship, but to get into a healthy, sustainable, mutually fulfilling relationship. After all, nothing more alpha than being someone people can lean on and look up to.

[@painunending4610]

I'm kind. Been that way my whole life without ever wanting something in return No one's ever been attracted to me Meanwhile there are people who are the exact opposite of kind who are much more attractive than me I wish this were true. Burt real life is a lot more messy and doesn't follow rules. Be kind for kindness sake, but let's not conflate it with being attractive

[@blasianking4827]

@@painunending4610 It's not a guarantee, and nobody said it was, the only one conflating them is you. But it is a fact that being a genuinely kind person does increase your chances of getting a partner versus not being that.

[@roadent217]

"It’s cooking a meal for a loved one" Cooking a meal is a skill. Some people can't cook. Being able to cook, ceteris paribus, increases a person's value. "And I firmly believe that if you’re a genuinely kind person, you’re far more likely not just to get into a relationship, but to get into a healthy, sustainable, mutually fulfilling relationship." All other things being equal. You're talking about how to lay a solid foundation (social personality, disposition), but without a house (skills, hobbies, interests) on top of that, there's still not enough value to develop any attraction during a date. A highly talented jerk _may_ be more attractive than a kind nobody.

[@anuragpradhan7500]

Don't be naive, people who are truly kind are VERY susceptible to manipulation and being hurt by narcissistic people. They lack the will it takes to be threatening in return. Tell me, if a person wishes to hurt an animal, who will they hurt? A capybara or a similar sized dog?

[@vaderkurt7848]

​@anuragpradhan7500 "susceptible manipulated" You are confusing being a pushover with being kind. Jesus christ him self was kind but not a pushover.

[@purevanilla2343]

The public speaking advice you gave is actually great. I recently gave a talk to a group of 70 people for work, and managed to do it without using any nesting words or misspeaking. Thanks Josh, you’re a great orator.

[@rafindeed]

i have never thought in my life about the "apologies in presentation make you look weaker". It never crossed my mind and i always took care of how i present myself in front of people.

[@ThingsYouDontLike]

I did presentations a lot in high school and my political science teacher told me to never apologize in a presentation after a presentation which I had done so. It was such a small thing that I never considered and I was disappointed in college any time someone in my group presentations would do that it felt horrible.

[@neoqwerty]

@@ThingsYouDontLike Meanwhile in Canada we're out here apologizing to the doors when we accidentally bang them. Hearing that apologizing is weak is so weird, 'cause here if someone runs late and DOESN'T apologize we get angry and feel insulted, but if someone owns up with an apology (NOT an explanation, just "Sorry I'm late") we assume they were busy and going on back-to-back meetings. We also had teachers apologize for tech issues, which usually prompted someone who was better at the tech than the teacher to offer assistance to get things going ASAP.

[@ThingsYouDontLike]

@@neoqwerty While I don't personally subscribe to the "weaker" argument, I do think that not apologizing respects the time of the people who you are speaking to. They are not giving you their attention to listen to you apologize, but to listen to you deliver a message. That's is my perspective on it.

[@thelegacyofgaming2928]

Sounds like you're preaching alpha tendencies. That's toxic. You can apologize all you want and you will look stronger for it.

[@rafindeed]

@@thelegacyofgaming2928 i dont think i am, i dont honestly care. The hole alpha/red pill movement is a thing for people that need a specific group with specific ideas to have a personality. I dont care about them or about what people think in general. I try to be polite and kind to everyone, my life is great and i dont need to be an alpha, omega,sigma or any other letter. Im ok being the way i am. I was just thinking about what josh said and its case by case. If im going to meet my friends and people i care i will obviously apologize for things that bother them. In the specific context that josh mentioned, in which ive been many times, which is bussines environment with psycopaths looking for any weakness to pick on your product/argument/presentation (think shark tank way of rude). i completely see how being this way will make a point. In specific my case, ive been in situations that superiors were really looking for weakness on my projects and my thinking process to give the presentation. I had to be really knowledgeable of what i was talking about and stick to my guns in a way that i dont do in real life.

[@siggixhenson]

Thanks for this message, I never truly realized how most of these people are simply rude, yet we think of it as "tough/good advice" (best example= Andrew Tate). You are showing that it's okay to be kind and sincere and still have self-respect without being a dickhead. You've earned my subscription. Keep up the good work Josh.

[@dayru_ru]

I've been implementing this stuff into my life recently and it has been truly life changing. Thanks for telling us what we need to hear Josh

[@Coach_Duke]

When I was working for a insurance company I had to go through some speaking lessons and one of them was called "the power of silence". Exactly what Josh was describing! So good :D