Are Arranged Marriages Outdated? | Middle Ground INDIA

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[@crayziecatlady]

Divorce rate in india isn't low because arranged marriages work, it's because divorce is considered a taboo in India

[@devvikramsingh7785]

I don't think like that arranged marriages are generally successful

[@cringegaming9207]

@@devvikramsingh7785 no they're not.

[@crystalsnow9069]

@@devvikramsingh7785 the People are way more likely to be unhappy

[@sampatkalyan3103]

@@devvikramsingh7785 nah they are successful.

[@medhyak148]

@@sampatkalyan3103 Because whenever there's an issue the couple doesn't solve it, their respective families do. The families put out all the fires because ultimately the marriage was meant to appease them and their long standing traditions.

[@dhritimenon]

The bottomline - In India, the difference between being able to choose between arranged marriage and love marriage is PRIVILEGE.

[@harshali9137]

Couldn't agree more!

[@triny89]

Wow! On point👍🏼👍🏼

[@rhythmjain1799]

Facts

[@blessygeorge8520]

Again. True

[@menacemonk4000]

I was glad when Aastha asked the question about privilege.

[@Phot_]

*A summary of Rina's whole argument : "I have friends from America who thinks arrange marriages works and I have white validilation so I'm not wrong. Also these never happened to me so therefore it must not exist. Arrange marriages are best and always works but I am divorced from an arrange marriage. Not to mention I am extremely privilege and my source is "trust me bro"*

[@shaheenshad5012]

I think she's living in denial.

[@creamyhora4005]

Lol 🤣!! So accurate!

[@stupidcupcake8066]

@DJ Pauly D people in india treat white people like gods . That is white worshipping , that is white validation

[@risingredstone5949]

Her first argument was that arranged marriages in India have 1% divorce rates. while in US, it's about 40%.

[@gravityclarity]

Right?! Lol I also love your duck avatar. It makes me happy!

[@MsToasterOven]

the main arguments for arranged marriage were essentially “well, my arranged marriage is/was fine” and “i can’t seem to figure out how to date on my own so i need someone to do it for me.” Idk if it’s just me but Pradhyuman’s whole rant about how online dating didn’t work for him just screamed “i favor arranged marriage because then woman are obligated to talk to me.” gross. like Aastha mentioned, most of the points they made seemed to come from a very privileged place. i’m glad that the two of them didn’t end up in miserable, or downright abusive, arranged marriages but that is not the case for many, many people.

[@samreplete1842]

Yes beautiful 🤩

[@thuycheriefrederick1423]

Yesss!! Agree!!

[@hirenumradia7970]

@Alexandra Drew Would two people be "obliged" to talk to each other in an arranged marriage? They can just say no right? its arranged and not forced.

[@LBM01028]

Arranged marriage is the only reason humanity has survived. Put some respect on it. Cavemen used to club woman and drag them by the hair to caves for sex. If woman had it their way humans would have become extinct long ago.

[@juhisengu5633]

@@hirenumradia7970 Often arranged marriages are forced marriages. One of the main reasons why anyone would be against arranged marriages is due to the lack of agency, especially for women. The way arranged marriages are portrayed in this video screams privilege and is definitely what the ground reality is.

[@tanyajoshi1007]

Rina's whole personality trait is " It never happened to me so therefore it must not exist".

[@tas1708]

Yep, she reeks of privilege

[@ylia281]

Similar energy as: I'm a man and I think period cramps are a myth

[@Ghost-le1uz]

@@ylia281 But its true tho,period cramps doesn't exist its a myth,it never happened to me. Yes,I am joking

[@arpan2048]

Lol

[@emmaabdul-jabbar3458]

Straight up facts.

[@ilinca-gabriela9416]

My guy is pro arranged marriages cause that way he can't be ghosted.. 🙄

[@tanyabarbie895]

😂😂😂

[@dexodon3304]

Putting any effort in is too much so he just makes his parents do it

[@apollo-eu4fk]

without arranged marriage he would be a virgin for ever . he probably has trouble picking up girls on his own so he wants his mommy to pick up girls for him

[@tanyabarbie895]

Okay I don’t think we should pick on him for no reason tbh. That just says more about us than him. That’s just my opinion so pls don’t attack me for it lol

[@popoffpeppar]

@@tanyabarbie895 it’s still funny tho lmao

[@elva136]

15:01 "why are you narrowing down your relationship to your parents?" Suvir didnt talk much. But he just hit the nail with whatever he said. Absolutely 1000% correct.

[@aditibisht22]

EXACTLY. RESPECT.

[@Mia-ei4mh]

Agreed

[@georgecrumb8442]

You should narrow down your relationship to OnlyFans and dating apps like America does today. You realize that the majority of young adults in Americans are single and lonely and live in their parent's homes? LOL for trying to 'splain how to be failing society.

[@adityabhattacharyya8727]

lets be real, any marriage can fail - love or arranged. so what really needs to be done is normalise divorce instead of making it a taboo, so that we can all get a 2nd chance if needed

[@swatisaini6447]

There is a long way to go for divorce to be destigmatied

[@sanjramesh3189]

I think the most important thing is the relationship. Whether the person you love and you are willing to spend the rest of your life together.

[@alex47_in_downtown18]

@@swatisaini6447When people divorce they've either made a bad partner choice in the first place or they are giving up too early on their marriage...increasing no. of people are having a forever-lovey-dovey-fairytale idea of relationships nowadays which ultimately leads to resentment.

[@madworker1927]

@@adityabhattacharyya8727 you are a b*tch If I was in you place I would have your dismantled your dad into another dimension

[@aerosmith7217]

No it shouldn't be normalised because then we're gonna end up like America where every other child has a step father or mother

[@riarai3152]

Rina's whole argument was based on " ik lot of people , ik lot of friends , my cousins , my nieces etc " like wtf ? Her source was basically"trust me bro"

[@neophantomm]

frr and her lack of awareness of her privilege is also just infuriating

[@riarai3152]

@@neophantomm exactly!! Like how _????

[@muskanagrawal7750]

true and i hate how she seemed to think that just because these concepts might be accepted outside of india, that act somehow, in itself, becomes a proof that she is correct. it’s almost like she has the whole “foreigners are superior” thing going on.

[@yungman7053]

@@muskanagrawal7750 Lol, it's not a foreigners are superior thing. It's how people still choose arranged marriage even though it's a taboo in the US and it works better than prem byah

[@muskanagrawal7750]

@@yungman7053 firstly, arranged marriages are not taboo in the states. they are unconventional, yes, but not straight up taboo. also you saying that they work better isn’t backed up by any data or general consensus. and lastly, even if i accept your point as valid, it doesn’t change the fact that bringing examples of cases from a different region is absolutely worthless in an argument revolving around marriage culture and it’s impact in India.

[@Hellohi-by4gc]

The very sentence "I would get a divorce if I'm unhappy in my marriage" would be a luxury to a lot of people in this country.

[@archita933]

Yes I agree...my parents aren't happy AT ALL they said that when both me and my brother go to college they will not stay in the same house but will not divorce cause it's BaD LuCk

[@aloowalia2849]

@@archita933 same😭

[@theannouncer3423]

@@archita933 Cool

[@RMatt2016]

@@archita933 even separating and living in different houses is quite rare.

[@archita933]

@@RMatt2016 yes I agree

[@sumedhasampath8919]

The fact that Rina brought up the 1% divorce rate in the beginning shows how privilege and unaware she is? Like sis the absolute last reason it’s that low is people being happy in their marriage lmao. Also love how the pro arranged marriage people were mainly single and divorced no shade tho ✋🏻

[@idhemfcnohno8000]

you're absolutely right. the pro arranged marriage guy also seemed to put himself on a high pedestal for thinking that the girl/woman is obligated to talk to him. that's quite unfair and i would walk out immediately had i been put in such a situation. it's sad that india still have such views on marriage and women do not always get a say in such matters. the misogyny is clear as day with it

[@pettybee3860]

She doesn't seem to understand that ppl get emotionally and physically abused in some of these. It's not easy to get out of from a psychological instance as well as financial or even familial when it comes to children.

[@indranildutta5838]

Seems like using the word privilege has become new fashion for wanna be Americans

[@medhahaldar4122]

she expects people who don't have a choice in marriage to have a choice in divorce

[@georgecrumb8442]

You realize that 63% of men under 30 in USA are single?!? 63! And 34% of women under 30 are single as well. Very few young people getting into relationships in USA, let alone getting married. They are lonely and miserable, and evidence shows that both men and women in America now have the highest rates of depression ever. America's "relationships" are a failure, and you think that India should be more like them??!?

[@Sunshine-yk2eg]

Aastha is honestly the only person worth listening to here, because she seems to be the only one in touch with the modern situation and current reality of the general middle/upper class people of India. The points she raised were so valid, and the concerns she pointed out were those that pretty much every single woman would have.

[@vipr1142]

You are just anti-arrange marriage. I think the wiser individual is between

[@alex47_in_downtown18]

@@vipr1142 exactly

[@ABBZ120]

There’s a lot of anti arrange marriage sentiment based on there idea what arranged marriages are (which is negative) which doesn’t have to be the case as long as the people involved are mature

[@chelsea7229]

Low divorce rates are more a reflection of cultural or societal pressure to stay married than they are of a happy marriage 🤷‍♀️

[@sherwood9917]

Exactly. There are not a sign of happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships, where women are valued and respected.

[@Nairobikbal]

100% so many people are together just bc of their reputation. Also bc many women are dependent on their husband its a sad reality.

[@aayushpurswani9630]

Yea true my parents want a divorce but can't get it cause "society".

[@neqsohthree]

@@sherwood9917 just to play devil's advocate, who defines those things?

[@RiStKe]

Many women (manly older generations) also lack financial stability to do so. Since men being the breadwinner of the family is so normalized in places such as India, it’s almost impossible for some women to escape these “marriages”

[@ShirinHossain04]

When that dude from matchmaking said that " arranged marriages do not perpetuate religious and class division " I laughed out loud WATCH YOUR OWN SHOW HONEY.....

[@ogrecooch]

I know right and he’s from a rich family so the why he experienced arrange marriage is completely different like check your privilege dude

[@ShirinHossain04]

@@ogrecooch that's why I did not like the people in this debate. Most of them were quoting there individual experienced rather than talking about the general issue at hand

[@ogrecooch]

@@ShirinHossain04 yea and the lack of representation in this video is astounding.

[@p2k118]

@@ShirinHossain04 yea but u can't generalise Marraige it's a personal thing

[@tromboner6061]

@@ogrecooch unfortunately they can't bring up people from very diverse backgrounds... There is not an abundance of english speaking *suitable* individuals in all communities over here.

[@saswatidas8410]

Advantage of arrange marriage:- If it fails you can blame your parents. Advantage of love marriage:-If it fails parents can blame you . But how far we can go to blame each other, instead of taking responsibilities ?

[@mariajosh42]

very true!

[@anonymousanonymous7208]

Valid point

[@elva136]

11:50 THANK YOU FOR CALLING OUT THEIR PRIVILEGE. This girl is on fire. Wish I could learn to talk like that. I had be less apologetic about my behavior with a lot of self entitled pricks every day.

[@Emnacen2]

The youngest one in this group is the most level headed..

[@astraeusgodofthestars676]

Agree!

[@Wordsbyk]

Agree !!!!

[@f.t.6764]

AND a law student. Generation z (and alpha) truly is the future.

[@astraeusgodofthestars676]

@@f.t.6764 indeed!

[@ashleyoasis7948]

Westernised

[@antangcalagan5215]

Suvir not giving Rina a chance to cut him off was a win for all of us

[@shrutisingh1405]

She was so annoying, talking about her US young friends whatever

[@ComputerTechnic217]

@@shrutisingh1405 wait why is that annoying? It’s relevant because Desi American youth tend to be pretty liberal when it comes to this stuff so they provide a decent benchmark. Perhaps your inferiority complex towards Desi Americans is driving your perceived annoyance. You invalidating their experiences is a defence mechanism.

[@Rainyraina]

@@ComputerTechnic217 I think their point was to say that Rina was using exceptions to validate her point, which is not a proper reflection of most arranged marriages or the demand for them. Also, it didn't seem like Shruti was trying to invalidate anyone else's experiences, so let's not judge too quick. Desi American experiences are just as valid, even if they're different, and this is coming from a Desi American's point of view.

[@shrutisingh1405]

@@ComputerTechnic217 i dont think it has anything to do with where she's from, her first point were : globally divorce rate is 60% and in india its 90%. - it doesn't account the fact that indians stay in loveless marriages (in a lot of cases accept abuse) for sake of society. Just because her 'educated born and brought up in new York folks' discussed and agreed on arrange marriage- it still does not reflect any census ( like aastha in the video pointed out- they are exceptions and come from highly privileged place ) Even on caste/ religion being perpetuated- she keeps bringing her younger friends in America. That's not india. Perhaps in another episode she would fit better- here it was just annoying. In india if arrange marriages did not happen through newspapers then y would it be there. But she wouldn't get it. Umm, i dont put ppl on a pedestal jus coz they're from a certain background. So i got nothing to defend myself from hahaahha. But i thought of pointing these out, coz maybe u missed them in the video.

[@shrutisingh1405]

@@Rainyraina thankyou buddy! ^_^

[@calinho7689]

"You know us girls are more fascinated by the idea of the wedding rather than marriage." Says a lot..

[@user-mq8el4mf3q]

When someone gives me the argument that arranges marriage had a low divorce rate well yeah because you did not enter the marriage with your full choice then how the hell can you get out by your free will

[@shallowvalkyrie9687]

True

[@friedman01]

Yep, as if that’s somehow proof that arranged marriage is better? If anything it shows there is little free will and lots of pressure to conform to social mores.

[@jemappelleheejin12]

FACTS

[@Rinee_96]

Arrange marriage against my will destroyed my life, no one should be forced to choose their life partner n that happens a lot in India where I live

[@sharadhotha1475]

Pradhyuman earlier embarrassed himself in front of only the Indian audience. Now, he's on to do it in front of a global one. That's personal growth.

[@Holly18th]

💀💀💀

[@Rr-ud5zs]

HAHAHAHA

[@janvishikarpuria2492]

AHAHAHAHA- YESSS

[@SB-no9pz]

Kuch toh gadbad hai

[@alluripranitha]

He didnt grow through his lines like he still whines cause he dont invest time and effort in dating and want everything to plate

[@audreydo5904]

Rina: arranged marriage is the best, I recommend it for everyone and it worked excellently for me and it will for you too Also Rina: I am divorced

[@TarunSingh-cg3wp]

If not getting a divorce is a Perimeter for a successful marriage then arrange marriages on average are more successful then love marriages. Ps. I support love marriages

[@hemanthsai4584]

Rina's Ex-husband laughing **insidiously**😂😂

[@srushtipawar9742]

@@TarunSingh-cg3wp ye, I second that.

[@divyaraghavan9653]

Totally!

[@iamhackergamer8460]

@@TarunSingh-cg3wp This is marriage, not a plant ☘️ that you want for growing. Marriage is for having a life partner to rely on when things go bad. Finding that right partner should be your choice and you should face the consequences of that action. It's about sticking together till the end.

[@BlazeCarlton]

Pradhyuman basically said "Arranged marriages are great bc the other person is obliged to listen to me" ..

[@dianapotra2583]

As a European, this video was fascinating to watch. I’ve never met anyone who is/was in an arranged marriage. In my country arranged marriages stopped being a thing over a century ago so it was really fascinating to see how modern people grapple with it, and how their society is affected by its continuation. Also, props to Aasta! She seems so intelligent!

[@dianapotra2583]

@@noelrodrigues8179 Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still think arranged marriages are a horrible idea! I just meant it was interesting to see different perspectives.

[@manosijthehero3686]

I am a 20 yr old Indian guy and honestly I don't want an arranged marriage in future. In fact I don't even wanna marry an Indian. I wanna date and marry an American or Canadian or European girl in future because it's my preference. I hate the concept of arranged marriage and I find it outdated. Most Indian parents don't like it when their son or daughter dates anyone. Even relatives and neighbor aunties and uncles will judge us. Kissing and hugging in public here in India is frowned upon and we can't do it in private too as most of us live with parents and also due to such dense population of India. I also wanna give my girl a piggyback ride on beach or park which wouldn't be possible in India as most people would give stares because many aren't open minded here. So I decided not to even try dating in India as I can't imagine a dating life with so many problems like these. Hopefully I will go to US or Canada or UK after 2 or 3 years for higher studies and get settled there and date a nice girl there and give her all my love. I wouldn't even care if my family members says no to the marriage with her because it's my life.

[@slayer.trades]

In Europe (West Europe at least) "marriage issues" are homosexual marriage (which is more accepted day by day) or the fact that maybe we don't need to marry to be happy in this life... I wonder what these people will think about that...

[@akankshachaudhary8338]

Wish I could live in Europe. Arranged marriages are poison to the society.

[@Quebonitoeslobonito123]

@@manosijthehero3686 Why just American/European/Canadian? Indian women don't all look or act the same, and in a country with 1b people, you'd think you'd more than a few that are attractive. I think you're just idolizing European beauty standards. And this is coming from an American woman. You can like whatever you like, but when you narrow your search based on nationality like that, I can almost guarantee you that you're excluding lots of beautiful women.

[@aaaaaaaaaaaavm]

Rina in a nutshell: "Arranged marriage is hip in America y'all." "I've younger friends" "I've been to New York"

[@jyotsnaprasanth5460]

Lmaooo the accuracy

[@akon9162]

“I play polo and I’m a DJ.” LOL

[@r3fv774]

i know right 😭😭 like okay? your point?

[@akon9162]

@@r3fv774 she’s talking through that superiority complex. I get classist vibes tbh.

[@CherryTwistXD]

@@akon9162 no wonder she’s pro arranged marriage. It’s all about class and external appearance

[@maplelu9514]

I think If people still want to have an arranged marriage that’s fine, not everyone wants a conventional marriage. It’s just sad when they are forced to do it and get shamed when they want a divorce

[@DyslexicMitochondria]

Let people do what they want

[@maplelu9514]

@@DyslexicMitochondria exactly

[@pkingglazersout6665]

Agreed there are cases of arranged cases being successful and there are cases of arranged marriages being a failure too, regardless of a love or an arranged marriage what’s important is the understanding, love and trust between the two people involved in the marriage. You shouldn’t just force anything.

[@mritten]

Yes! You hit the nail on the head

[@vshark7869]

Yep

[@bhaveshtochabbra6853]

Just because your arranged marriage worked, doesn't generalise every other arrange marriage. Just because your love marriage is happy, doesn't generalise every love marriage end happily.

[@trigi1427]

In India, it’s not love that holds two unhappy people together. It’s fear of being alone that keeps two unhappy people together

[@avdhutjoshi676]

It's actually the fear of society

[@trigi1427]

@@avdhutjoshi676that too. “What will people say” - I never understood this to be frank. Who cares what others think… YOLO

[@nehathachil1819]

Aastha rolling her eyes at Pradhyuman is such a mood

[@hazybaffler5797]

Can u post the timestamp please? I couldn't find it and I don't want to watch the video all over again

[@judy5810]

@@hazybaffler5797 12:23

[@hazybaffler5797]

@@judy5810 thanks mate!

[@user-qz1dg3gh7d]

😁

[@mamoketetsholo]

The biggest mood ! I enjoyed her soo much !

[@saya2325]

The pro arranged marriage people here are 1. Already divorced from a arranged marriage 2. About to divorce 3. Lazy to put effort so mumma papa will chose for me

[@potatogangster282]

Exactly!!

[@victoriamcleod5949]

True

[@fay6160]

agreed

[@ibrownunicorn3750]

I feel like they didn’t choose the pro arranged marriage people well. They should’ve chosen people who genuinely believed in it and were successful in it, be it pro or anti.

[@manoranjanjena5259]

The conclusion.

[@jayesh556]

Rina's views are so based on "gora" validation. everytime she comes up with the America thingy or about her family, which seems to be very progressive and privileged. She's so privileged that she's couldn't differentiate between caste difference and regional difference and changed the whole conversation to people marrying from different states and not castes. I like Aastha's pov.

[@noceboaffect3187]

Does gora mean white people?

[@jayesh556]

@@noceboaffect3187 yes

[@rich4204]

Pankhuri: stands pro-arranged marriage. Also Pankhuri: sounds more like she's anti-arranged marriage

[@-tyrese-7931]

“we think arranged marriages are good because it’s hard for us to find a partner” that’s all you had to say

[@parvindarkaur9612]

It was just so funny 😂😂😂

[@deez9966]

lmao fr

[@arrow2589]

No kidding, the pro guy basically was like it's to much work to find a wife because that would mean fixing my shitty attitude so I want one female to be given to me so I can have one.

[@gsiya4023]

@@arrow2589 and so that she is now obliged to talk to me cause her parents will force her

[@arrow2589]

@THE ZOLDICS sorry, not sure what you are saying

[@toshitasingh1398]

The divorce rate in India is low not because arranged marriages work out for people, 1. Its a taboo to get divorced 2. There are still many housewives who rely on their s/o to earn the money and parting ways will be difficult for them 3. Couples think it will leave a trauma on their child if they get divorced but the actual trauma is still continuing a failed marriage

[@amtul219]

Perfect.

[@simplyepic3258]

Exactly. You see all of this in the Mormon religion too and they don’t have arranged marriages.

[@----f]

@@tromboner6061 agree w you

[@inductor43]

@@tromboner6061 are you the Messiah?

[@user-74856]

@@tromboner6061 totally agree......... because mostly the girls I see hating on arranged marriages are the ones that would be the first one to reject guys because of their looks and height..........if tomorrow arranged marriages are stopped in india .... literally 70 to 80% dudes would be single and childless lol 🤣🤣........ because most girls would go for the top tier guys regardless of how they themselves look ......and obviously the tier 20 to 30% dudes will have abundance of options so why would they wanna commit to one girl , those guys would use these girls and would just sleep around with them and have fun without giving them any relationship security.

[@ritutalathi3895]

There should have been LGBTQAI+ representation. There would have been very different perspective. For example 13:00 For this question I would have said no, parental support is not important to me because my family and India as a whole is very homophobic. It is a privilege to have parental support not a necessity.

[@Euro.Patriot]

Come on bruh, you know the Indians aren't afraid of the gays. It's the other way around.

[@yahudi7253]

India is less homophobic than your western slavemasters. Homophobia here is passive a.k.a. fear of unknown while in west they actively abuse lgbt

[@aditibisht22]

Agreed!

[@valeok8357]

@@yahudi7253And that’s why the western slave masters have same-sex marriage and India doesn’t lol.

[@Playyourlovee]

thiiiiiissss part!

[@rashisharma2737]

The dude pradhyuman said it right "in arranged marriages people are obliged to talk". What he doesn't know is that marriage should be with somebody who wants to talk to you, not someone who is obliged to talk to you.

[@thediablo4457]

Rina's ideology revolves around the fact that if her American friends got into arranged marriage, it must be a good thing.

[@3amdozy]

Yeah it's like gore krre h toh it's cool 🥴🥴🥴

[@ramkapoor3630]

Ikr, its like she wants gora people's validation for everything

[@gapoochigapoochi]

Lmaoo she is so ignorant

[@sheezaahmed7425]

Agree

[@mmm-ei3yi]

@@ramkapoor3630 Gora people 😭💀 lmao

[@skape4069]

Pradhyuman the type of dude to cancel his doctor's appointment because he's sick

[@healingandhappy9262]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@02abishekprasad91]

Just snorted seeing this XD !!! Lol of lols

[@alenanela1743]

AHAHAHA this is perfect

[@Adi-rv3zs]

LMAO HELP

[@jinhub2175]

Lmao ikr? I wanted to slap him so bad

[@DHPatel-jm8ys]

Im indian and my parents got an arranged marriage. Even though they both cheat on each other, do not love each other, dont want to be together, they wont get divorced because my dad needs someone to take care of the kids and house, and my mom needs the finical support. theres a low divorce rate in indian couples out of necessity to be together and cultural upstanding, not because they love each other and want to be together.

[@viedinternaute8132]

Damn u exposed your family like that that was braved

[@sorayag.mirandae.1809]

I think it's much better, but it's best don't get married.

[@32.simonebagaria62]

On low divorce rates: 1. Divorcees are shunned from society especially if they aren'r privileged (unlike Rina). 2. Women are dependent on their husbands for financial support, because of not being allowed to work or not having opportunities (unlike Rina). 3. Getting a divorce is expensive so it is not an option for most people (unlike Rina). In conclusion, Rina is blinded by her privilege and is unable to see the pain of so many people in unhappy marriages because she has never had to deal with that or face the harsh reality.

[@indranildutta5838]

What a lie what a lie all these wanna be Americans typing about privilege while typing from Iphone

[@yasinsong5657]

​@youalrightboi158 yes but in arranged marriage there's a higher chance of wanting divorce

[@carirobinson1314]

I feel the youngest lady was openly disrespected, spoken over, and dismissed during the conversations and I think that made her point very clearly.

[@carirobinson1314]

@H V I have no doubt it is what she is use to. I see it in her face. I recognized it because I was raised in a similar fashion. I grew up being dictated to all the facets of my life with very few having a interest in my own wishes or desires. I was expressing my disappointment that even in the discussion she was unable to express herself the way she would have liked to, because I understand that type of frustration. I certainly meant no cultural aimed offense and apologize if that was the direction my comment appeared to travel. It's a hard then to have no voice.

[@avni202]

despite the fact that she made the most sense

[@pallavi6013]

it's a cultural thing in Asia always respect the elders,because they always know what's the best for you :)

[@lixxielix]

@@pallavi6013 not all elders.

[@saisameer8771]

@H V I literally had to yell at my parents and basically tell them to fu ck off and stop telling me what to do. They never listened to me if I did anything else.

[@avishii__________]

Parents be telling you not to talk to strangers but won't mind getting you married to one (:

[@aqua1675]

And many little girls get married to old people who are like 10-15 years older than them

[@kamberine9566]

@@aqua1675 yes my mom and dad is 10 years apart and i always see them fighting soo i don't need to to arrange marriage if they put me in arrange marriage I would not to any work sleep all day look in the phone jot mind anyone

[@ima.m.1658]

@@aqua1675 I am first gen Indian-American, and my mom got married to my dad when she was 17 and he was 27. So yeah...

[@aayushdas19]

I'ma write that down.

[@hambonefakenamington69]

parents be weird af

[@TiffanySparrow]

Rina: arranged marriages are the best. Also Rina: My arranged marriage failed and I'm divorced. But they are still the best esp bc my New York friends say so.

[@abracadabra7550]

Love marriages fail waay more often but still youre anti Arranged. So you and she are kind of similar...

[@indranildutta5838]

Love marriage works meanwhile USA has more divorce rate is that because of love marriage????

[@Codename_HoeNextDoor]

"Privilege is invisible to those who have it"

[@Em-ko3vl]

I think Aastha realised real quick that the others views were coming from a place of privilege and that they wouldn’t except or understand a balanced argument because of their experiences

[@yeshv1989]

It’s funny but as I was reading your comment Astha mentioned the exact same thing! 😄

[@arrow2589]

Yah the pro marriage side was really snooty and stuck up. They needed more social diversity for sure. Everyone there was just stuck in a privilage bubble.

[@moon.937]

@@arrow2589 especially the make up artist woman. She constantly talked about how her marriage worked out because her parents were liberal(just like her husband's) but she failed to understand that her situation was a total exception. She cant use her own exceptional marriage as evidence against the negatives of arranged marriage when in reality, the negatives are far more normalized for a majority of Indians. She may have been blessed with open minded parents and family, but not a lot of indians are. It's like arguing metals are liquid and using the one exception, mercury, as your prime example.

[@arrow2589]

@@moon.937 yes exactly, she seemed convinced that because her one case worked out the way she liked that everyone's life would be the same. Like I am not Indiana but even I know how terrible some of those situations are. It honestly seems like cognitive dissonance. Or like the your love will grow part is just so rapey

[@tdolkar1378]

@@moon.937 great example 👌🏼

[@SC-ku9nj]

Arranged marriages are sorta like gambling.. you don't know if you'll be the luckiest person ever or you'll regret it forever

[@paradox920]

Isnt that the same with love marriages?

[@assassin9763]

its not a forced marriage ffs...

[@pyrimad8]

This is why you meet with the other and talk a lot

[@DevniDharmawansa]

I agree the possibility is high in arrange marriage but this it’s the same in love marriages too

[@disgruntled.pelican5324]

@@assassin9763 can't say. Love marriages are still frowned upon and the girl/boy is treated like an outcast if they choose to go down that path in most places even today.

[@RaihannaJallow]

I am a Fulani from West Africa, and I can relate a lot with the issues being discussed in here. The divorce rate in my ethnic group is extremely low too,and most marriages are arranged...But almost 90% of those marriages are miserable,and there is this fear of divorce, because for women, it will be extremely difficult for them to remarry and men that are in unhappy marriages can always cheat and if caught they either marry a second, third or fourth wife. But I am very happy now that a lot of the new generation are going in for love marriages, and even if it fails at the long run, you've at least lived with someone you actually loved!

[@purple_moacarat]

Exactly! That's the whole point pro arranged people missed. I'd say love marriages are also risky no doubt but still better than arrange marriages with no choice of leaving it cuz of society.

[@RaihannaJallow]

@@purple_moacarat because imagine living with someone you don't love...arghhh it gives me the creeps😖

[@purple_moacarat]

@@RaihannaJallow same here. Bcz if y'all want friends than be friends why gotta marry friends 😭

[@Xx_Oleander_xX]

@akshay bhat Abuse and unhappiness isn't a small reason. When my parents divorced the family got wayyyyyy more peaceful. In fact I wish they separated years ago so their fights wouldnt have escalated so much.

[@selxschk7410]

@akshay as a person whose parents marriage was arranged and let me tell you … i wish divorce would be an option for my parents but it’s unfortunately not

[@soorajchavan2838]

The most Indian thing here was probably not the discussion or the topic of discussion but people talking over each other. Felt like home🤗🤗

[@myselfayush007]

Rina knows exactly why there is less divorce rate(Social Stigma) She's not here to find a middle ground. She just wants everyone to know that she has friends in US and she knows polo. Her defense was always that "I have friends who love Arranged marriages".

[@jyotsnaprasanth5460]

Exactly 😂

[@assassin9763]

well she also told you that she herself had an arranged marriage...

[@kyoski1]

😂😂😂💯💯

[@tdoggg8796]

And you are here to deceive people into thinking that divorce rates are only low due to social stigma. As if arranged marriages can’t work or never have even though almost all arranged marriages work our very well

[@Hallfreakyzoid]

@@tdoggg8796 divorce rates in any country isn’t a number of how many people are in a loving relationship. So why are you trying to say that divorce rates being extremely low, aren’t taking in account loving relationships? My relationship is fine, but I’m not using my relationship to discount those who have needed to divorce. (Divorce is less stigmatized where I live since the ‘60s are so.)

[@she_wizzdom4410]

Basically what pradyumn said is that real relationships take too much effort to build so I'll just depend on mumma papa to select a girl for me, minus the effort and risk

[@Balli942]

Oh my god 🤣🤣

[@saya2325]

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 lmao

[@hambonefakenamington69]

pretty much. also his fear of rejection

[@scaredevil666]

Yeah, 100 % true

[@rannvijaysingh2391]

It’s about investment dear men like to invest their time and money only if there’s a return coming back if not no man would want to waste his emotions or time on someone

[@govindrn1266]

Died at 12:00. Aastha literally just told that them their personal experiences aren't close to the reality in India and the lady proceeds to tell her about her family.

[@lucaaz14]

Yeah the youngest is apparently the wisest.

[@reshamgattani4315]

Aastha presents herself so well, a very well spoken woman💕

[@procrastinator1002]

aastha's facial expressions were mirrored by every gen z indian watching this lmaooo

[@aatiqa31]

I'm a pakistani gen z and I feel the same way lmaoo

[@whashappenin-jg9yz]

This is so true !

[@anitakur1]

Not for me though😂😂 I agree with Pradyuman here, I literally only focus on my job and I will be happy to have an arranged marriage 😂😂😂

[@a.mishra5608]

Bruh , these pro arranged marriage People are so cringy ,

[@leonamanu1619]

the way that the pro arranged marriage ppl were talking from there standpoint view pissed me off so much.

[@notonfire7318]

As an Indian I would just like to point out that even though arranged marriages in India have a very low divorce rate it's not necessarily a good thing. Domestic abuse in India is horrifyingly high and as divorce is still stigmatized a LOT in Indian society many find it hard to leave. Domestic abuse is still normalised by many people so many victims think they're obliged to tolerate some of it. Also a lot of women might be financially completely dependent on their husbands so it makes leaving a marriage very hard. Lower divorce rates =/= happy marriages

[@sampatkalyan3103]

Not really this just a biased guess.

[@anushkamishra7952]

@@sampatkalyan3103 I think people who are emotionally manipulated and face domestic violence would have a harder time speaking up, for example in villages domestic violence is very common and is considered "normal" and not a reason to divorce. I literally have heard my house keeper stay this stuff

[@amina-vu6jd]

I totally agree this is just what I was thinking! plus divorce has more stigma and blame for women which is why it might be harder to leave

[@xoz--]

it annoyed me that they didn't even bring up the topic of abuse and non consensual marriages, because all of those marriages are arranged AND forced. it's the majority of married peoples lives in india, not the privileged people here who were able to divorce without facing daunting stigma or loss of their financials.

[@amina-vu6jd]

@@xoz-- agreed!

[@medha7039]

The lady in the white kurti and high heels rubs me the wrong way. the hypocrisy is just unbelievable. How are you going to give examples from your personal life to defend your stance, but then criticise others when they do the same????

[@irish2661]

not to mention isnt she lying... she said she have nieces friends etc who succeeded in arrange marriages but then say she’s the only one who got arranged for marriage. like she’s so ridiculous

[@blinktambo255]

Suvir: "No you let me complete please ,sorry " he definetly put her in her place 😂😂 15:13

[@madelinesalazar8145]

And then spoke facts

[@sagarikasuresh]

Aastha was the most mature person, calling them out but also trying to be respectful. It was downright mean of Rina to invalidate the newspaper experience. The man on the anti-arranged side had a lot of valid points. Pankhuri definitely tried to understand and represented her side well. It was annoying to watch Rina and Pradhyuman.

[@arrow2589]

Yah Rina seems like just a nasty person and Pradhyuman is so stuck up.

[@sagarikasuresh]

@THE ZOLDICS @THE ZOLDICS I've clearly mentioned Pankhuri represented her side well. Having an opinion is one thing, NOT being aware that your opinion comes from a place of privilege and cutting people off while they're talking is another thing. Also, I never asked them to shutup or curtail their "freedom of speech", I'm just excercing my right to "freedom of speech" to point out their mistakes

[@mxoh]

Aastha is young, too young to be in the discussion, I would have excluded her because she hasn't had experience in all this. She saw some personal experiences and decided how things should be. Life is much more complicated than that.

[@mxoh]

@Kamaboko Gonpachiro force my views through KZbin comments? Not at all. I am trying to derive logic from comments that don't make sense. I didn't watch that guy before so I have no prejudice against him.

[@mxoh]

@Kamaboko Gonpachiro ok

[@Parisroam]

It’s the one lady saying that arranged marriage is about “growing together” after saying that she got a divorce because her and her partner “grew apart”for meeeee sis

[@silviasacchi9001]

The hypocrisy!!!! Is he speaks from a position of privilege and it shows!

[@benjaminreyes3624]

🤣🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌩️⛈️🌀

[@mxoh]

the architect also "grew apart" from his love marriage

[@liggmabawls5634]

lol you act like people who marry for "love" dont get divorced. The numbers dont lie

[@Maryalisha_]

@@liggmabawls5634 At least they get divorced rather than being in a abusive relationship. And the cases of Domestic Violence is much higher in India "numbers don't lie"

[@deuteriumtritium9700]

I started the video supporting pro-arranged but this really changed my mind. Most pro points hold only when in a position of privilege. And even then, it is a gamble.

[@vaishaliverma3695]

Aastha here spitting facts like no ones business!! And loved how being the youngest of the group she still shared points that are more hollistic and universal rather than the narrow perspective these 10 12 years of her senior hold.

[@MT0523]

The problem is that the majority of the pro arranged marriage ppl were speaking ONLY from _their_ experience. They don’t take into account what others have had to go through due to arranged marriages.

[@christineherbert4937]

Yes very true. Some people dont even get the freedom of having enough time to get to know someone , they are rushed into it by just talking for for a few hours. Unlike the people in the show .

[@rmsleftpinkiestoenail6771]

Christine Herbert I think it even shows how class difference literally changes your experience. Privileged people do need to come out of their bubble. Almost all of them sounded posh . It is devastating to see how upper class doesn't even know/comsider about the awful experiences of those less fortunate , those who are more vulnerable and might not even get access to police,lawyers or other facilities unless their parents are nice enough to understand their situation. Smh 🤦‍♂️

[@christineherbert4937]

@@rmsleftpinkiestoenail6771 So true!

[@jayd4ever]

most arrange marriages are successful

[@christineherbert4937]

@@jayd4ever yea those are the lucky ones. Its a gamble .

[@mewtsukii]

rina and pradhyuman were really talking from a point of privilege

[@ariwilliams130]

They really are and the sad part was that they weren't even accepting of their privilege

[@mewtsukii]

@@ariwilliams130 exactly

[@harshpatel9673]

Yeah they kept talking about how they're in India and stuff too but they're from New Dehli which is sooooooo much different from the majority of rural Indian communities (where most arranged marriages happen)

[@antaradas15]

I wanted to really slap her bec of how she brings up New York friends and her friends, like girl you are the privilege class all the while, how can you talk about everybody in general with that privileged ass mouth???

[@anshikab22]

uk people like these actually represent some portion of our population who are in favour of arranged marriages

[@rishitachakraborty9783]

The group here is more privileged than any average Indian. Not a correct representation of the entire population. I'm pro love and pro arranged marriage. Though I'll never go for arranged myself, I think people are different and they marry for different reasons. Some might do it for love whereas others will do it just for companionship. But what I'm against is forced marriage. And a lot of arranged marriages are forced in rural India and only happen within the same caste. Racism, Elitism and Dowry, also take root here.

[@shaheenshad5012]

Tbh they represent the us demographics, cause most of them immigrating to us are from petty high privileged backgrounds.

[@indranildutta5838]

All these wanna be wokes

[@indranildutta5838]

All bad things throw to India meanwhile In middle East people marry through arranged marriage people say they are preserving their traditions wow see them haha

[@ayushthumbarathy3961]

"Arranged marriage really helps, because the person is constantly obliged." Self burn, guys. Those are rare.

[@stankssmile5865]

It's like love marriages don't make you responsible and obliged at all by that vague statement in the video.

[@moushumihazra7673]

Time stamp??

[@aubreya.8822]

These people are not the demographic most affected by arrange marriage. The poorer younger helpless girls who got sold by their family to older men are. I want to see they talk about that.

[@ima.m.1658]

Yes of course but not just them (by being sold or forced), it could be with a man of any age and a woman who isn’t young could be the victim.

[@tacoonblitz5686]

That’s not how it works

[@tacoonblitz5686]

People give their daughters off in arranged marriage to men who will take care of them like they did. Not sell them off for money.

[@annbhatt4949]

@Anti Trans Activist big words coming from anti trans activist, I shouldn’t have expected better 🙄

[@sushilakumarisinha5648]

The poorer younger girls AND boys Remember boys can suffer too.

[@rachelbusby670]

They talk as though dating apps or arranged marriages are the only two ways to meet a partner

[@shivliagrawal8937]

@@ntiisw looks like you never left your place and have any friends or colleagues or been to the gatherings that normal people have. Basically met never seen any strangers around u. Sucks

[@aloowalia2849]

Off topic but you look so beautiful

[@kamberine9566]

@@aloowalia2849 what is it is not Her photo lol

[@aloowalia2849]

@@kamberine9566 😁😁

[@possiblyanonymousguy1904]

@@aloowalia2849 I commented the same thing on another video to an other person. And some guy called me an Incel.

[@anony-mous2449]

Astha's look at 12:23 is literally me. These people obviously come from a very privileged place and seem to have a disconnect with reality in India 😭😭

[@castorphans]

Those who are pro arranged marriage can't seem to deal with their own relationships at all. As if they always had to involve someone else in order to solve marital issues, because they're not emotionally mature to do that. It's as if they never grew up. Being an adult is all about taking responsabilities.

[@ju5379]

Finding love yourself is hard, it has nothing to do if you're immature, lazy or not or being forced. What a rubbish comment you just said lmaooo. Not everyone can find love, life isn't a fairytale, face reality. Arranged marriage is a solution where the parents can be the matchmakers and you give CONSENT to marry them eventually if you like them. If it's FORCED then it's BAD

[@Sameer-xm6pp]

​@@ju5379If you can't find love, why do you have to marry? Marriage isn't an obligation. Just work on yourself and eventually you'll find someone whom you can love. Arranged marriages are the only thing which is keeping caste system alive.

[@ju5379]

@@Sameer-xm6pp How does it keep caste system alive? That's only if you abuse it. If a person wants to marry whatever way they want, then let them. Who are you to control what people should do lmao

[@ju5379]

@@Sameer-xm6pp Plus I'm not a Hindu so I don't know how caste system works in Hinduism. I just know what the typical arranged marriage is which is to find someone for marriage from your family members recommendations

[@spooging]

Suvir putting an end to Rina is a whole ass mood lmaoooo

[@opheliaheng5882]

hi

[@spooging]

@@opheliaheng5882 DID YOU JUST

[@illyrianmangup]

i loved that part what a king

[@haley7804]

best part of the video

[@savageunitato100]

Time stamp?

[@3Bud]

if you're heartbroken over a failed match on a dating app then you have a bigger underlying issues with understanding your self worth.

[@boxeswithfoxes]

Like it happens 🙄

[@3Bud]

@@boxeswithfoxes huh?

[@sakuranovaryan9261]

Everbody has different way of handling their emotions,things can feel worse specially after a bad day,depressive episode,anxious build up stuff then it would feel on an average day. But eventually its gonna come back to its usual state.Yeah getting rejected sucks ass but it happens. Sometimes it hurts sometimes it don't u get better at accepting rejection as u age I guess...it's part of life u kno. Not to sound too lectureyy hwahahah just speaking from experience thas all.

[@lonewolf.s.n.4083]

Arranged marriage is a back up option for someone who can't find their Love.. Simple! End of conversation🤧

[@sahilkumarprajapati]

agree 😀

[@sumarianprince]

Yes and what's wrong with that. Not everyone needs to spend their time on useless social apps and sleep around with a bunch of people.

[@jitintilak1284]

This comment hit home for me.

[@sorayag.mirandae.1809]

​@@sumarianprince if that is the reason, an arranged marriage is not the best option.

[@sumarianprince]

@@sorayag.mirandae.1809 LOL, sometimes that's the easiest way. You guys think love is everything don't you, I see losers wasting tons and tons of money dating random people.

[@aiswaryaaravindmk6961]

I felt like the pro arranged marriage people are playing it safe ... They can't take the responsibility of making the "mistake" of being in love with the wrong person... like If they had an arranged marriage and the partner turns out to be not compatible , then getting a divorce is ok.. but having a brkup or having a divorce after love marriage isn't acceptable 😅

[@ju5379]

Same goes for love marriage lmaooo. All these cons you think of applies to love marriages too. Everything in life has risks and rewards, life isn't a fairytale, you need to face reality

[@thatcitrusfriend6234]

The whole "love grows" argument is ridiculous. So many people end up in unhappy, or abusive, marriages because you don't know who the person really is until it's already happened.

[@renflower1910]

Exactly, when I heard that I had to laugh.

[@poocrayon4588]

The institution of marriage is failing in the west because women initiate divorce 85% of the time and advocate for laws which reward them for doing so - and expect men to enforce those laws. That's an unsustainable system. Basically it's women wanting men to provide for them after they've actually chose to leave the men - absurd entitlement. Marriage only works if it's based of the idea of building a lasting life and growing relationship together. Not if it's something to leave once the feels are gone like teenage girls in high school.

[@claireelizabeth9431]

@@poocrayon4588 I don't think that's it at all, at least in the west. Most western women provide for themselves; they are educated and have their own jobs and can pay for themselves. People who marry and then divorce for money are gross disgusting excuses of human beings, but I highly doubt that's why most marriages end. Most likely it's because a lot of people grow out of each other as their lives change and then they fall out of love with each other. Why continue to stay married if there's no longer any love? (Also your figure of 85% is probably wrong, most studies I've seen show that the rate of women initiating divorce is about 70%, which is still an interestingly high figure, but the reason you claim to be behind it is just wrong). As for why women are more likely to initiate divorce than men, when two people fall out of love with each other, they lose that strong emotional connection to each other. On average, women tend to value having that emotional connection more than men (this is not always true its just a broad generalization). Once two people fall out of love, women are more likely to feel distressed due to a lack of communication and emotional connection, whereas men generally don't value this quite as much and thus are less likely to be bothered by it. Because that lack of connection tends to bother women more than men (on average), women are more likely to want a divorce and be free to either take care of their own emotional needs by themselves, or to develop a new deep emotional connection with someone else. Lack of emotional connection is probably the biggest reason why women are more likely to want a divorce, but there are probably also some other reasons: women generally tend to feel more held back than men do in marriage, women tend to take on more of an emotional burden in marriages than men (so once there is no love and emotional connection left they feel emotionally exhausted), society still somewhat pressures women to do all or most of the housework so some women who have these pressures placed on them get fed up, etc. (Of course these are all broad generalizations, at the end of the day each person is different and you can't just categorize each person into a group and tell them how they will act and feel). TLDR women tend to value having a deep emotional connection to their partner more than men do, thus men are generally more likely to put up with a bad marriage than women are. Also I think society pressures men to "man up" and "just deal with it" and stay in relationships even when they aren't happy because society tends to tell men to ignore their own emotional needs. Which is really sad, nobody, including men, should ever feel like they have to put up with being in an unloving marriage if they aren't happy. All in all, I believe that if both parties are happy in an arranged marriage and it is consensual, then that is awesome! But I believe that it should never be forced on anyone, people should just be allowed to do whatever makes them happy as long as they aren't harming anyone else.

[@poocrayon4588]

​@@claireelizabeth9431 Thankyou I appreciate your well considered response. Even tho I have some problems with your comment, I will give you kudos for your reasoning behind why women are leaving marriages so much more than men. Many people (especially women) are triggered by this and say the different rate of initiation is because women are being abused or cheated on etc. - or else they just want to ignore it. In this regard your thoughts about "emotional connection" (and I would add loss of attraction and satisfaction with the "idea" of their relationship) are pretty close to the truth I feel. So well done as far as your understanding of it goes, tho your appreciation of it as a problem logically and morally is lacking imo - which is to be expected given you see it from the female viewpoint (that's not an insult, what I mean is we are better able to appreciate problems which are problems for us, especially over problems we cause others simply by being us and expecting them to understand, the same I'm sure is true of me) As I say I agree with you on womens reason for leaving. However it's not "people growing out of each other other and falling out of love" - on the whole it's women feeling they have grown out of their relationship and fallen out of love. Women often describe it as mutual as you did, but be honest - that isn't really the truth. What you described as men "putting up with a bad marriage" - is often a situation which men don't see as bad at all. Further I will say even tho men can be very selfish or just naturally inclined to expect women to take care of them (and this is of course unfair) - I don't actually think it's a large factor in women initiating divorce. Very few women who are already doing this in marriages divorce for this reason - tho they may be more aware of and annoyed it after they fall out of love/lose connection/lose attraction or purpose. However when attraction and connection is there many women enter into this situation of being the one doing the domestic and "emotional labour" (lol) knowingly and it doesn't have a great impact. You say "why continue to stay married if they are no longer in love" - and you have a point - the problem for men is "why get married and have kids together if your woman will fall out of love" and then the problem for society is men and boys will think "if your woman will inevitably fall out of "love", why enforce laws that let her take the children to raise with another man, or keep any assets, or the house etc, when she falls out of "love"? (and she will)" and then the problem is all womens. This also goes to the heart of the way the sexes see love in the context of a marriage - if women are only (or can only) seeing love as an emotional connection or a feeling and not a long term philosophy and action then there is a problem. Personally for me and many men - if you consider and agree to raise kids with someone or build a life with someone, and then you go back on that then you are incapable of understanding what love actually means for most men anyway. And tbh those that believe otherwise have a school girl conception of love to me - and it's worthless in my life and the lives of most men to be loved that way by a woman. Totally worthless. To clarify my original comment - I wasn't implying that women leave the marriages to force the men to provide for them away from the marriage, or that they all marry for money - the point I was making was that the laws (which women wanted) that come into play when couples divorce (which is done the majority of the time by the initiation of the woman) are no fault and as such at least split assets and even more importantly child custody. And these laws dont somehow just happen - they're enforced by force and the threat of punishment thru law (which again is enforced by force) This is what makes people follow them when they don't want to. What I meant by this being an unsustainable system if women want to divorce when they're "no longer in love" and women are "no longer in love" at such a greater rate than men is that it's virtually unthinkable that men would enforce such laws with such a net negative result for themselves far into the future. After all men aren't going to go into child raising and marriage gladly expecting their wives to leave them and alter that situation to their cost - especially if they grow up expecting it as boys. It's an impossibility. And men are very much needed to keep the system in place. And as of right now it is (to put it bluntly) - a system which enforces womens wishes violently onto men thru the violence of men (law being the threat of imprisonment) Now if women were to agree to a fault based system (when assigning assets and custody) say less custody (not the primary parent) and less percentage of joint assets upon divorce (perhaps women should even start saving for this reason during marriage and expect none) perhaps that would be workable into the long term. But I dont really see women on the whole (as they feel and think about these things today)agreeing to that, do you? I do see a few inevitable out comes of all this perhaps you havent considered which I wont get into here. But it's very much a pandoras box situation and I'm not sure you or any women (or even many men) have a full appreciation of the consequences and possibilities which could arise from it. The fact is It's simply not good enough to tell men (and raise boys) to expect to be left by their wives and upon this expect to see their children half the time (at best) and have them possibly raised by another man and also to hand over a percentage of what they have worked toward (asset and finance wise) Why would they take part in this expecting this outcome? (oh btw even tho I appreciated your comment in your last paragraph you made a "point" about society telling men to "man up" and ignore their emotions etc. which you described as really sad. This sounds like something feminists repeat to each other as tho it's true and so they (being mostly women) assume it must be and assume men have a problem with it. Actually most men don't feel they are being made to man up - it's simply the way they are and it's actually insulting of you to say this thinking you understand how they feel. Even tho I disagreed with some of it, your comment was intelligent and well thought out aside from this one thing. You don't need to repeat simple minded feminist crap like this to make your point and doing so will only lessen whatever you say if your talking to men, especially if your talking to men about men. Consider that for the future, or don't and keep on doing it, whatever, just know how it looks to the people your actually talking about)

[@nazmi2736]

@@poocrayon4588 I have a genuine question, you mentioned men don’t mind being asked to man up as that’s how they are build, but I have seen so many men’s rights activists saying this is a huge problem for them? how they can’t express emotions and how their mental health is ignored?

[@athirasanthosh2613]

Rina and pradhyuman are the biggest examples of being urban ignorant and not realizing everyone aren’t as privileged as they are! they don’t understand how arranged marriages works in so many other rural or even middle class cases, that arranged marriages are soo deep rooted and is a catalyst for so many other social issues!

[@HRUTUB]

Exactly!!

[@yungman7053]

Lol, then you marry a beggar from the streets or a gangster from UP if you are so worried about class division

[@KP-05]

Facts on facts on facts on facts

[@KP-05]

@@yungman7053 don’t be so arrogant. You know exactly what she’s tryna say smart ass 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@yungman7053]

@@KP-05 🤦‍♂️Maybe you are having problems to comprehend properly

[@angiedoe597]

Pradyuman was recently accused by his wife of domestic violence,so he really shouldn’t be an ambassador for any kind of marriages.

[@ananya.dey19]

I think arranged marriage is alright as long as the bride and groom get the choice.

[@isNamanSharma]

That DJ woman's logic: *I never saw a dolphin, so they don't exist*

[@rosewood8779]

Agreed

[@ded499]

Yup , she is weird .

[@possiblyanonymousguy1904]

She was just sharing her experience. What's wrong in that. She seemed weird in how she used her words though.

[@pretty948]

I always have food at home so world hunger is a myth

[@zuzkaondrova]

I honestly think that when rina was in New York she was talking to people who read too much Watpad stories

[@icebear116]

I can't agree more 💀

[@aloowalia2849]

Lmao , why did you come so hard at me 😁😁

[@Angelitaxx]

honestly i feel like her friends probably said they couldn’t find a nice guy and they wish one would just come to them and she turned that into they want an arranged marriage

[@aloowalia2849]

@@Angelitaxx yeah this happens a lot

[@enloveyduvey001]

💯💯💯

[@conorspence5332]

I'm surprised they missed out the choice element. The elephant in the room is its a way for parents to force their children to marry who they want, and stop their children having relationships on their own terms.

[@blessedlife6771]

I think arranged marriage is not evil. It's pretty much a formal way of dating these days bc you still have the freedom to say no. But I reflect that having this ability to say no is a privilege when it shouldnt be. Forcing arranged marriage on people is what gives it a bad rep and honestly that truly sucks.

[@debayantisaha7287]

The bottom line is Pradyumna wants a girl who can't say no like most sensible women on dating apps have been saying to him 🙃

[@mithilabiranware4565]

Exactly lol

[@manyakulshreshtha3024]

literally

[@hambonefakenamington69]

basically isko kisi mehnat ke bina ladki chahiye and when girls expect basic, normal things from him he'll turn into a sissy and pour all the blame on dating culture. he just wants a girl to stick around even when he's being a total weird unintelligent jackass, which is pretty much what happens in a lot of arranged marriages

[@annbhatt4949]

LMFAO PREACH girl I was thinking exactly this

[@hittingyouoverthehead]

See this is the problem. The people who are strongly anti-arranged marriage have a caricaturized view of it. There is a lot of nuances to marriage, arranged or not. Please understand that first and then if you're still anti-arranged marriage, more than happy for you to find your right person.

[@lolz2788]

I feel that Aastha had soo much more to say but doesn't wanna waste her energy or doesn't want to offend anyone

[@jithin2216]

Yea cos all the others were like 30+ ,and she probably felt uncomfortable voicing her opinions I guess. I mean 22 is still very young.

[@arrow2589]

Yah, it's a shame they treated her opinions as less valid just because they think age=intelligence

[@sameerakhan7455]

@@arrow2589 Yeah. That's just sad. I agreed with her all the time

[@MolyBDenum-lh3wy]

Nahhh...I think she was trying to be more argumentative and not trying to understand the other opinions...she was clearly annoyed and couldn't accept another opinion different from her own...the fact that she mentioned privilege says it all!

[@claireperez9846]

@@arrow2589 when tho

[@usernotfound0703]

Aastha- don't u think you are coming from a place of privellage and don't actually know how indian arrange marriages wor- Rina- soo my cousin is gujrati....

[@gourinandanaj4305]

Let's get this straight the percentage of divorce within arranged marriage people are less because of the pressure from the family to adjust to even the harshest of treatments . Physical and mental abuse Mainly related to dowry .

[@sandhyashreep]

Everyone: Debating over arranged marriage or anti-arranged marriage Me: Anti marriage

[@worldvschinachuje3751]

Why?? May I ask

[@hanza4618]

Gurlll same

[@richaxpriya]

Ayee 🙌

[@philosophersprose3792]

Every time I say I dont want to get married because of the mess that is of divorce (plus weddings cost too much), people tell me I shouldn't be together with my future lover. I'm just being realistic here. People dont need to get married to say they're together.

[@she_wizzdom4410]

We should start a club

[@ahanroy3157]

This Pradhyuman guy lacks a stand point, he dosen't even know what he's talking about. Says he's pro-arranged marriage and then goes, "You sit down and explain I really love her, really want to be with her..." Boy, thats love marriage you're takling about, not arranged marriage, duh!

[@mitakshrabhargav9530]

He is that boy jisse koi pati nahi simple

[@abduskazi]

@@mitakshrabhargav9530 lol

[@snigdhasingha104]

Exactly!!! I was thinking the same thing the whole time. He is soo confused...he doesn't have a clue of what he is saying, and who's side he is taking...???

[@iWillRun_]

@@mitakshrabhargav9530 he is a mEcHaNiCaL eNgIneRr

[@Kishi.A91]

Yes!

[@epiquewenqa]

I'm okay with arranged marriage if 1. You're not forced into a marrige and 2. Your wants is being addressed. Not your parents, not your friends. Yours. Cause you know yourself better and how you feel about the person. Your friends and parents can act as a guide but not indefinitely. Also after the first meet up, I'm a believer of not getting married immediately. You need to know this person in and out before you commit a life time with them. It's not just marriage, there's money, mental health, physical health, emotional health all tied to this. Marriage should not be taken lightly.

[@user-gr6cy8nx3z]

Can we talk about how agonizing the arranged marriage process must be for closeted LGBTQ+ people? I’ve heard some pretty bad stories and I feel like arranged marriages only exacerbate the hardships they face.

[@user-gr6cy8nx3z]

@DSA Divi Um what does “prior to lgbt” mean? They’ve literally existed since the beginning of human civilization, it’s just that people are becoming more open about it. There are actually many examples of LGBTQ+ people in ancient Indian mythology.

[@chaithanya5427]

@DSA Divi huh??

[@Arniqua]

Aastha is going to excel in her Law career, she spits facts.

[@siddhant...]

And will be living with her 30 cats alone 😂

[@bhaktiagarwal5859]

@@anchess2517 that "high quality man" doesn't want an equal for him? That a woman's ability to be able to express her beliefs threaten him? Then HE doesn't deserve that woman.

[@bhaktiagarwal5859]

@@siddhant... way happier than being stuck with someone you don't want. Plus, cats are hella cute. So it's a win-win situation.

[@siddhant...]

@@bhaktiagarwal5859 yeah in a Disney movie.

[@bhaktiagarwal5859]

@@anchess2517 who says that? I'm a woman, and I DON'T want a superior authority, I want a life partner. I don't want a hierarchy, no woman wants a heirarchy in her relationships. And your views sound like it came out of a 1950s outdated newspaper column. We are in 2021, for goodness sake. Neither a man should want a heirarchy in relationships nor a woman. And an argumentative "nagging" woman is a woman who realises her potential. And if a "high quality" man doesn't want that, looks like he's not that much of a high quality.

[@daenerystargaryen1440]

Really glad Jubilee is expanding to India and not just from an American point of view

[@BeTheChange99]

I full heartedly agree. There's 1.3 billion people in India! Plus surrounding countries if possible, that's so many voices!! And if they get in top of this subtitle game, then non English videos would be amazing too. The opportunity for representation is just beautiful!!

[@mandalove3408]

It makes sense because arranged marriage isnt really common in America at least not from my knowledge

[@TheAxeliono]

They’ve done other countries before. I remember they did one on Israelites and Palestinians.

[@renflower1910]

@@mandalove3408 Exactly.

[@trishaagz]

@@mandalove3408 i think it's illegal here (if it's forced), but of course the concept would still work if the parents were matchmaking or something

[@S0o0oSmiiley]

It’s Pradhyuman from Indian Matchmaking. Clearly he hasn’t found anyone to live up to his expectations yet. 😂

[@inayahk8129]

Ohh I thought I recognised him

[@AhmadKhan-xz9ss]

I find it extremely funny as a Pakistani born Canadian who worked as a Pilot and used to travel extensively to India because white people think Urdu = Hindi, that individuals from the high-class or from the upper-class fail to see the plight of the middle and lower classes. I would routinely hang out with my Delhi friends who all without being dismissive since they are wonderful people come from well off families and are basically handling their family business. So not only are they born with silver spoons, they somehow have convinced themselves that since they work for their Dad's or Mom's business they somehow can accept the ego that comes from building something from nothing. It was always off-putting because they were driving around in AMGs, and 7 series while they are in their early twenties but they somehow feel like they have worked extremely hard and came from nothing and earned everything they have so they can understand and relate to the working class. The class system and subsequent privilege's in the Asian societies is night and day. The pro-arranged marriage individuals definitely come from the upper-class and therefore were more than likely arranged with other individuals from the upper-class, if the husband or wife did not fit their needs or interests, they can 1. Get money from their families to continue an independent lifestyle 2. Always can get a divorce and find a new partner. Both options aren't at all available to individuals in the rest of India. There is a huge stigma around divorce, especially as it pertains to the reputation of a woman and it limits her prospects for an another marriage moving forward. More often than not, these women get trapped. By all means that doesn't mean that I am diminishing the viewpoints of anyone, the pro-arranged marriage individuals who come from privilege look like lovely people they live in a more idealistic world and assume that everyone can live in it as well, unfortunately not a reality in a country like India and similar countries with similar cultures.

[@zainabfarhan5823]

I’m a Pashtun from KPK and I was also born and raised in Canada, so when I go back home I see so much of that. Your point about divorce is so true. Even in Pashtun culture, it’s so discouraged. You’re almost expected to live with the abuse you face

[@indranildutta5838]

​@@zainabfarhan5823 in every ancient societies it will be discouraged why do u think it should be normalised like in America stop idolizing Americans

[@zainabfarhan5823]

@@indranildutta5838 maybe use your head a little. Abuse should never be tolerated.

[@ananyarao3565]

I have second hand embarassment every time Pradhyuman opens his mouth 😭✋

[@vrajshah1590]

You are not alone 😔

[@ANKI7033]

🤢

[@Katherine-ci2dd]

Ughhh me too

[@sarmishtachikkam3594]

This isnt a fair debate, the pro arranged marriage people aren't anyone I witnessed in my family or society. They are more privileged than average indian people who get into arranged marriages even by choice.

[@aishwarya5608]

Exactly!

[@kotturiswarnalatha3041]

So true

[@nehamotwani6477]

That's exactly what I found odd here. And also these people mostly based their point around their personal experiences, which obviously can't be generalized. Infact, their idea of arrange marriage is not even what arrange marriages look like in general context. It's almost like dating but you find your partner through your family. That's a completely different thing.

[@muhammadahmadkhurram8186]

YES EXACTLY

[@ishwaryai9796]

So trueee they're talking about situations once in a blue moon

[@MaryamAamer]

I agree with what Aakanksha said in the start. "When you meet an arranged suitor, the environment where you are meeting is not natural". I belong to a conservative and religious Muslim family in Pakistan, and most marriages in my family have been arranged. Though it's true that very few ended in divorce, I haven't personally seen a relationship between couples that I envy. When you meet a possible partner, you act and talk and behave in ways you don't normally would so you never truly know that person until you finally marry them. And getting a divorce after that is a long and complicated process which could have been avoided if you had just observed or met that person in an everyday scenario.

[@XenaXOE]

Why the hell would you find your daughter a husband from a newspaper ad …

[@shallowvalkyrie9687]

LMAO ONLY IN INDIA

[@normalguy11.11]

Lmao, I kid you not these arent that uncommon here. But I hope they are not a thing in the near future

[@ujwalmokashi6702]

It's better than finding in a bar.

[@ujwalmokashi6702]

@@kaeez Marriage is not advertisement, finding match is advertising. Be it in dating or arranged.

[@finnaebu689]

I'm, not Indian but dam I gotta rate this. Jubilee doing projects out of America and doing something significant to the culture is cool.

[@Teni-yh5xz]

They need to come to the uk next

[@sp3ctralbrid384]

@@Teni-yh5xz not the colonisers uh huh no

[@wi8233]

@@sp3ctralbrid384 It’s hard to believe there are people like you...

[@Teni-yh5xz]

@@sp3ctralbrid384 I don’t mean just the actual white people like everyone literally the same videos they make in America just the uk version 😂😂😂

[@arp2178]

@@Teni-yh5xz ?? Jubilee's American videos ALL have racial diversity. Have you even watched their videos? It is not all white people. I'm a leftist and Jubilee does a pretty good job of having a diverse panel.

[@Meena-zu8qv]

My parents are the biggest example and reason why I would never marry and stay with a stranger🤞

[@ogrecooch]

Please this is so true✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽😭😭😭

[@happypanda882]

@China : The Motherland of Corona no she just doesn’t want to get an arranged marriage. Stop being snarky

[@computer9640]

@China : The Motherland of Corona Your user name already explains how much of a bigot you are. She wants to marry someone she's familiar with. Not everyone you're familiar with is a family member. Unless you have no social life or friends- which I assume is your case .

[@deez9966]

period

[@kanamenoname210]

Idk I have seen the brutalities on both sides, Love marriages are romanticized a lot especially by modern society, and the arranged marriages can come with their own problems, I honestly won't turn down either. If there is an arrangement made for me to meet with someone or if there is someone I fall in love with and marry they are both okay to me; as long as the decision is not taken hasty or it's not dragged on either (cause I can tell you stories about men wasting time playing house with their girlfriends while the girl is expecting a ring, for over 9 years). Your decision should be based on how you view the person's morality and standing with you rather than how you meet them.

[@pragyax]

Aastha giving us the progessive desi gen z representation we need

[@ggCA07]

My aunt was married to a guy a few years back. It was arranged. They didn’t know each other before. But after marriage he started to shed his true colors. He was sexist, mean just all the bad stuff. No abuse(I think…hopefully). But lots of toxic masculinity and control etc. she left him in literally 2-3 weeks. Got divorced a year later. She’s late 30’s and still isn’t married. She suffers from bipolar disorder and…yea. The arranged marriage ruined her life in a way. No bachelor would want to marry a woman who’s a divorcee. Her best bet is to marry a guy who also divorced.