Judge Lynn Toler on Abusing a Man’s Honesty & When To Leave a Cheater

[@HardlyInitiated]

👉DATING CARDS: www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck

[@CorGP]

She’s from a different era. To hear a woman with the career she had, say being a wife was her most important job. Incredible.

[@alpreston7219]

@@CorGP Exactly, different era

[@Mr.Anthony045]

I LOVE this lady. She has so much wisdom.

[@Snake-eyes1980]

@Mr.Anthony045 she wealthy with wisdom, and I would love to just sit and spend a day or 2 just listening to her

[@evflorybarnes]

Judge Lynn has a rare mix of humility, grace, insight, humor and a grounded nonsense sense of the heart and loving. When you are sorting out who is a charlatan and a fake and who is real run these qualities past those out here speaking in absolutes and ardent dogma.

[@hahadarrie]

Never thought about it that way… “work the marriage like a job”

[@MrproofrealVidz]

Yes, marriage is a job just like you give your all at work. You have to do the same in your marriage every single day for the rest of your life if you’re not willing to do that then marriage is not gonna work out for you

[@doll.ov.poetrii4682]

​@@MrproofrealVidz As a married woman, I second this. People should marry someone who is worth the work it takes.

[@MrproofrealVidz]

@ as a married man I definitely approve this message

[@auntcookie9163]

And that pays well part, 🔥

[@curtiscox6469]

I've always thought of it this way. not everyone does or is even willing to, so... 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@Vam0629]

I really hope that when she is healed and ready, she is able to open her heart to be loved again. This woman truly deserves to be loved and cherished. She is a wife. And it sounds as if her late husband fulfilled the needs she had as well. Reciprocity at its finest.

[@tomaradoss3420]

She said, she doesn’t want to atleast remarry, . She said, marriage is alot of not getting what you want. ( sacrificing and compromise) and she said ,she’s done that already 🤣🤣It definitely opened me up to that realization. To ask myself do you really want this, and if so to make sure we’re on the same page . Just me chiming in !😂😂😂❤❤

[@Wise_Son]

​@@tomaradoss3420 well the problem with human nature is we want everything we want and right now. even outside of a relationship or marriage you have to accept that you don't get everything you want and things worth having is worth sacrifice. Otherwise you're just selfish and self-centered and might as well be alone.

[@latravisgriffin]

She doesn't need to be. Her late husband gave her everything she could ask for in their marriage. She'll never see it again because he was her person.

[@Lalala3230-u2w]

@@Vam0629 that's not happening

[@tomaradoss3420]

@ ❤️

[@gr8tefaith]

Real talk from a real woman, thanks queen 👸🏾

[@normanfreeman6191]

She always seems to be so thoughtful in her explanation on serious topics.

[@charissemodeste6489]

Yes.

[@ecllipsedeloach65]

@normanfreeman6191 I am taking notes when ever this Queen speaks! 👸

[@OmarSpruell]

I love hearing this woman speak. A woman like this makes you want to do right by her every time.

[@victoriawoodson2485]

Cheating is never a mistake ! It’s a conscious decision … period!

[@mykes75]

@@victoriawoodson2485 A females point of view. You missed the whole part

[@kirmanila.rocque5409]

@@victoriawoodson2485 as a man, I agree. But then what? What do you do then?

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@paulinebricks3441]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him or her?

[@paulinebricks3441]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@Da.realLyric]

Same for me with my husband. My marriage is ending after 12 years. Been with him since 14. Now 35. Pray for me as I pray for you.

[@modibohylton7503]

I’ve always loved this Sisters energy, demeanor, and mind. She is definitely a wife and a mother. Beautiful, feminine, smart, wise, agreeable, etc. Praying she finds peace in losing the love of her life and enjoying the next chapter… 😢✊🏿🙏

[@HappyfromCourage]

Great advice for relationships and marriage. It is important to know your partner likes and dislikes and act accordingly. There should be reciprocity of this advice shown in the actions of both people in the marriage.

[@LeslieBurleson-s8w]

@HappyfromCourage Absolutely and women say men today are hard to date and marry, I beg to differ, the same men we have today, were back then as well

[@chanson8508]

Facts 💯 problem is men generally don't wanna do the work at alllll and if the do, only for a baddie they don't deserve. Not all, just the vast majority 🤷🏾‍♀️ Some women are trash, but most men are trashier #generally-true

[@dametreuspppp8734]

The change happened in women - they were tricked by feminism

[@chris360s_]

So many gems coming from Mrs. Toler. This brother’s taking notes. 📝

[@miyangtangwan7046]

I tried to work past an ex boyfriend's cheating, but I had lost respect for him and trust in him. I loved him very much but I didn't admire or look up to him anymore, and I couldn't fake it either. So it ended.

[@Flockatrent448]

@@miyangtangwan7046 same happen to me she couldn’t get over it but when I told her she wasn’t doing things to keep me satisfied, she straight would ignore that for years so yep I cheated and it ended.

[@yaasmeen114]

I understand completely that’s why I’ve never been able to even attempt to try and make it work with a cheater .

[@Tee-kc3pn]

A bf ain't a husband.....

[@tabathaspencer2127]

@Tee-kc3pn Husbands cheat too...

[@Akronkangaroo]

Yup, you were perfect and did nothing wrong at all😂😂

[@joeycastaneda7419]

I love the way this lady speaks truth. That's why I always watched her Judge show on T.V.

[@GodsChildIRL]

Im 28 and I work my marriage like a job. I think daily on how to please my husband. He works so hard for us and loves me to pieces. Showing him my reciprocation is everything ❤

[@Quonax3]

I love this woman so much 💕 can listen to her ALL DAY.

[@itsafamilyting.8045]

Love is still present, she talks about him just as such.

[@msroz9804]

She is always speaking truth!!!

[@herudevinci2861]

Very good interview period I am a 80s baby . Judge Lynn is very insightful and would help many young women if they listen

[@quinetonmccluney1129]

I always loved this Judge. She is very intelligent, and also beautiful. And most of all, SHE VALUES HER HUSBAND. 💯!!!

[@mrpitts15]

She sounds like she was raised by a real woman. She’s A real Gem 💎

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

Unfortunately, There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?” knowing discernment is imperative. people raised on love will do anything for you. people raised on survival will do anything to you. know the difference and be aware of what spirit the people around you are operating from.

[@---nj7hl]

I was raised on my own on Survival and I am a very giving person. I give what I didn't receive as a child. I Ask God for Decernment. I'm sorry I don't Agree with All of your statement.

[@lallen8462]

@@---nj7hl i hate people like you who always try to divert a good message with the "but im different" nonsense. U are clearly a female. See how easily we can tell by your ditzy comment

[@lallen8462]

Bro that was a serious gem 💎 that u dropped.. appreciate it king. Imma def try to remember and apply that when dealing with others. People raised on love, and people raised on survival 💪🏾💪🏾🙏🏾...... Id like for u to elaborate a lil more on how to spot people raised on survival or love???

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

@lallen8462 majority of people that are raised for survival is basically Your inner child frowns back in the reflection because we became similar to the adults that disappointed us. Eventually people cope with Me against the world mentality. Where you can trust yourself but you don't trust anyone else.

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

@@---nj7hl Yoy may speak from the exception, but respectfully you do not represent the majority of people predominantly Black people that we're raised on survival.

[@dd470_]

I’m listening to whatever our sister has to say… 40 yrs deems you worthy of sharing any and all marital advice because wow! That statement here is powerful : 1:45 “present , looking, and willing to learn.” This entire video is beautiful!

[@fredrickstroud411]

She's a beautiful woman

[@lyndavialet]

I loveeeee watching her talk about her marriage

[@Passionatelyfruits]

She married the right man....👍🏾 Her beloved husband was worth her love

[@centurionguards3819]

A lot of women never think like this. A wise woman builds her house.

[@Tee-kc3pn]

Actually a lot of them do but think this way for the WRONG partner then become jaded when the wrong relationship or situationship fall apart......Many women go all out for a man that don't give 2 dead flies about them

[@jessicab331]

@@Tee-kc3pnright… I’m so over this… and situationships are the problem. They want ppl to play these games and give their all forever without reciprocation or appreciation.

[@Tee-kc3pn]

@@jessicab331 agreed....I didn't live with my husband when we were dating until he proposed nor cooked him 1 meal, joined bank accounts, nor bore his children until we were married.....My Dad told me when I was a child if I did those things before marriage I would never be married and would end up with a bunch of children .....I don't judge women who do those things before marriage because I know A LOT of women didn't/ don't have a Dad in the home actively raising them

[@jessicab331]

@@Tee-kc3pn unfortunately I’m one… and it took a long time to realize some ppl really don’t want the families and commitment. I assumed naturally like that what ppl do! Everybody gets in a relationship for the bigger picture. NOPE… not at all.

[@lwoods9482]

Wisdom is the key.🗝

[@jjayphilly342]

Judge Lynn is a Truth Teller!!! Y'all did HER DIRTY IN THE THUMBNAIL though...

[@Neisha8686]

Judge Lynn is a blessing to those who listen.

[@gifi11]

Let me find a girl like Judge...... I'm out the game and getting married. The way she talks about her husband, you can tell she loves him so much.

[@Jawnwickk]

Her husband passed in 2022 😢

[@Passionatelyfruits]

Being in the game, marriage isn't on your mind.......Most likely u broke the hearts of several decent women.......No wife material woman is going to change your mind to settle down.....Only you have to want this

[@gifi11]

@@Passionatelyfruits you not wrong my brotha. "Being out the game" was just a figure of speech. I am certainly ready. I ain't in the game now lol. All I do is work. You are also correct I know I broke a lot of hearts and it feels like I have been getting my karma for decades lol. Can't argue or disagree with anything you said.

[@Passionatelyfruits]

@gifi11 🤣......I'm allllllllll woman

[@gifi11]

@@Passionatelyfruits opppps lol my bad sis. Thanks for the message. You ain't wrong

[@SonFlowrDayz]

Love her wisdom❤ God bless her always

[@MZUNUSUAL]

I love judge Lynn Toler I could listen to her all day long. But when it comes to modern day, man, nothing but high blood pressure severe migraine I just can’t do it You’ll be only one working on the job and It ain’t cool

[@PlayTypeGaming]

I love listening to this lady. I can listen to her for hours.

[@brandohmc8547]

I pray im blessed to find a rare woman who will feel like this towards.

[@StepchyldeThaPhoenix]

Cannot love this enough. True honesty. One of the best things that I have done as a man is seeking advice from older women about women. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@vokendrick7617]

I like her theory. I follow this logic with my lady.

[@lwoods9482]

Great advice! Love to hear her speak. She needs to get that book out.😊

[@Cjax504]

Just how Judge Lynn stated that she had the discipline so should men. Discipline is a choice! If we keep saying that’s just what they do it further lets me no it is social conditioning! It automatically gives men an excuse for being undisciplined!

[@dwaynelewis6185]

Understand,Appreciate,and Respect your significant other. Know his strength and weakness, but never his weakness, learn his likes and dislikes! Love him for everything he is MAN WITH CHARACTER!

[@marcussmothers3643]

She’s a blessing

[@aaronx357]

Wisdom comes with age

[@RakimMercer]

*God bless this woman and her family.* ❤❤

[@EarthTonez5150]

1 and a half minutes in, and the HONOURABLE Toler already dropping BARS that let you know her man ain’t NEVA EVA EVA EVA considered going NO. WHERE. #GodProtectWomenLikeThese🙏🏾🙌🏾

[@umadox41]

Mmmmm, I don't like the premise by the host that cheating is one of those things that is part and parcel of marriages or relationships so women should essentially "just get over it" and not jump to divorcing. Nah uh, let's not normalise that behaviour. No sir! If you love your woman, don't cheat on her. It can be simple if you're a good, decent, responsible man.

[@angelaholloway5321]

That might be why neither of these men are married.

[@bigdaddy3621]

You are confused lady. Men have been having children with multiple women since Abraham in the Bible. Can't have the word "CONCUBINE" without men having a wife a other women. Wake up sweetie. Men are men.

[@UncleRoams]

She clarified what is and isn’t acceptable.

[@umadox41]

@UncleRoams I'm not here for cheating being normalised in any way. Let's not do that at the end of 2024. Like enough is enough and no more excuses.

[@bigdaddy3621]

@umadox41 perhaps you should adjust your expectations to reality. Concubine is a word in the Bible. People don't wait to get married before having sex, so it's just a reality. People also have children with more than one person

[@captain9035]

Is always golden listening to her

[@UncleRoams]

As a Black man, I respect her sooooo much!!!!!

[@flinthillstunna803-21]

2nd video I’ve watched, the content I’ve saw on men and women hands down 💯💯💯

[@jaheimRakim]

I love me some Judge Lynn

[@shighmoney9326]

She madd wise & down to earth.

[@adellamiller6971]

I really hope the man out there was listening to her it only takes 5 minutes, n a little goes a long way, if you want the loving that you want from us, thank you Queen 👑

[@jean-claudephilgence8371]

She is just built different...... Built better

[@EdWatch-yx7hy]

U know what women never forget? Being lied to so damn much thats its accepted as normal. Hit em where it hurts, with love. Sometimes a wake up call as needed, and love isnt about feeling good. Its about truth, dedication, respect, and Accountability. Sometimes the truth HURTS. With love, never vinegar behind it. Delivery is everything, yes.

[@thomasdr08]

“Present, Looking, and Willing to Learn” Bars

[@naomim5746]

I wish I had that first piece of advice earlier in my life. It is so true.

[@RoblEsquire]

Great post!

[@genesewatson648]

I love when she speaks, her voice is so strong is makes u wanna listen i take her advice everytime. Dam i wish i could a man that’s serious and want to have a real relationship

[@Ashley-qx4my]

Exactly they HAD to stay together. The admiration for grandma wasnt all "knowing her place." There weren't many places to go. Today? Some of us are out. Others not so much and good for them.

[@kaymitchell6143]

Idk if I can get behind this one. This sounds like a lot of babying a man and not requiring him to speak up. I feel (based on my experiences) you can address a man’s weakness in love. I agree that you should never bring them up as a “gotcha,” but my partner and I definitely discuss his shortcomings and vulnerabilities just as much as we address mine. We literally have conversations monthly about what we notice and ask the other what they feel they need from us to help them address this weakness. We talk about how they make him feel, especially compared to all the messaging he gets about “being a real man,” from society. Does it impact his worth or how he thinks I value him. In those conversations you can offer reassurance but not talking about things to me created more problems than helps. I also disagree with the cheating thing. Cheating is not one mistake it’s a set of choices that you make to get to that moment. If you made all of those decisions to find a person, find a place to have intercourse, and take off your clothes. That’s a lot more than a mistake. A mistake is losing your grip, dropping my handmade mug, and breaking it. But to make all the decisions that go into cheating and never once considering the pain those choices could cause me makes you someone I can’t trust myself to be vulnerable and raw around. Cheating would teach me that if you have a decision to make between respecting my personhood as a whole and your ego, the ego will win.

[@kingous9747]

I dnt know why i love this woman so much but i do

[@AM-xe4iq]

I love her. I’ve learned so much from her.

[@TamiBri]

Not sure about the infidelity thing these days. You can’t do anything to women you don’t want done to you these days. women are self-sufficient now.

[@thekaoest]

What she said at first resonates with me. My ex wife and me would argue sometimes and she would always go so low. over the years we've mended our relationship but I just can't help but think about some of the things she said to me so I feel like I'll always keep her at a distance.

[@beemonique8466]

No Ma'am, cheating is NEVER a mistake!!!

[@charissemodeste6489]

Mrs. Toler is a GEM!!

[@saraworkneh1620]

i wache old HI now you guys post the old one so beautiful

[@aljohn2028]

Just because you work a job well, that doesn't necessarily mean it pays well. You hope it will, but if it doesn't pay, some contract renegotiations need to start.

[@PDGAF]

@@aljohn2028 Interesting. And in your opinion, what does "pays well " in a marriage look like?...

[@miyangtangwan7046]

​@@PDGAF A man respecting his vows and appreciating his wife, and vice versa.

[@RoyalEmpresstiti]

Very profound

[@MichaelBell-x9n]

That's why I love my Queen 👑☯️

[@ogriss412]

SHE SO WISE AND STRONG! I wonder how she’s been since losing her hubby?🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@allemoney]

All kinds of gems 💎!

[@nathanielwillex1359]

Sounds like a good woman who was raised by a good mother women need to listen to her🙏

[@Qski_Corleone]

We need more women like this who pays attention to their man

[@DerrylJenkins]

I just love everything thing this sista is saying dam I wish they was more like her ❤

[@christielove2877]

That’s me all day, but when somebody gonna do that for me… I’ve always been to female. I just need somebody reciprocate the same energy that I’m giving.

[@c.amour07]

If I have to master self-control and discipline for myself, I expect the same from my husband. So it's a no for the cheating. That's a selfish act, not a mistake.

[@BreAnkha]

I’ve done this, only in return, but I’ve done it. Felt guilty every time because I know to leave when there’s disrespect and belittling involved.

[@TruthWillprevail13]

Lord Jesus grant me strength. I seem to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders as a single mom, I often face challenges that can seem insurmountable especially with raising two children with special needs. I’m trying to balance everything but Lord I’m struggling to make ends meet, to pay bills, and to put food on the table for my children. Jesus hear my prayers.

[@kiad]

🙏🏽🙏🏽💪🏽prayers for strength, guidance, grace,& mercy for u & those babies

[@Tee-kc3pn]

Call out to God not SOCIAL MEDIA strangers that don't care. God ain't in SOCIAL media but within YOU. Ask God for clarity and to order your steps not SOCIAL media. You probably won't even get people to pray for you on here......Use your God given brain as step #1 and go to God for help silly

[@ChiquitaJonesCreech]

I love Ms. Lynn, she found her true love, for me I found my true love of 40 yrs and it’s work but it’s worth it for me. I will never re marry or date just like my Mama and them. Ms. Lynn might just be happy being with herself. Listen it’s freedom and I get it❤.

[@savedonlybygrace4705]

Infidelity is not normal or acceptable. If you only knew the spiritual implications (soul tie) behind doing it you would think twice.

[@jessicab331]

This is one thing I do NOT do… I’m like why would I do that?! He already knows!!! No need for me to speak on it especially not out of spite.

[@7StreamsofIncome247]

Awesome Respectful and Insightful

[@apng8879]

I love her heart ❤️ ❤❤❤❤

[@ivannastorms-thompson3538]

I think it's emotional with women in the sense that they're either looking for something they aren't getting and/or looking to exploit that common male weakness, ego/pride.

[@clodge5196]

She’s the epitome of class

[@Iamkrystamarie]

Relationships aren’t fair for either men or women. I’m not looking for fairness. I say this in regards to her statement that she hopes she has the grace to work through the infidelity. Especially if she discerns it was a mistake. I hope the same thing. However, I pray and I’m believing for a faithful and fulfilled marriage.

[@ka8155]

Same, I'm praying for a successful marriage

[@miyangtangwan7046]

I tried to work past an ex boyfriend's cheating, but I had lost respect and trust for him. I loved him very much but I didn't admire or look up to him anymore. And couldn't fake it either.

[@AY7-M7]

@@Iamkrystamarie When it comes to cheating the focus is always on the part of men until it’s time for a DNA test!😆😆

[@Jawnwickk]

Cheating is never a mistake. It’s always a choice. No one just so happens to slip and fall into sleep with someone.

[@kennethbrooks9570]

Love the judge...

[@glantedavid9728]

Tysean Jackson looks like John Fashanu--the former England footballer 😂😂😂

[@STYLEE-T]

Over attentive males aren't aware of the unspoken communication skills required that lead to undying human relationships. A man doesn't need to know how a woman knows about his shortcomings. Only that she does.

[@modernmarvel]

Am I the only one who replayed 7:23 multiple times 😅?

[@carlo.notcarlos]

She gets it!!!!!!!

[@Psych86_]

This generation of women is just different. Sad we may never have this again

[@AngryManSki]

It’s saddening to see this mindset lost to the last two generations.

[@Westside19th]

It is to know whut a person likes u jus gotta pay attention & comprehend wit out dem having to tell u.

[@nathanielhill2533]

I just love her❤❤❤

[@Mariah_Lichtenstern]

First off, when sex is good, women want it. 👀 And if a man cheats, putting our health and emotional safety at risk, we not getting over it. Infidelity is not a mistake. Its intentional. If sex drives aren’t matching up, have the discussion / work it out / step it up, or agree to 3rd party involvement.

[@LighthouseJaye]

1:20 "I love this guy, what makes him smile" I don't really struggle with speaking and having conversations but I genuinely don't believe anyone cares anymore. Someone who cares mutually like this? I don't think it exists for this generation purely because "relationship fear-mongering" has everyone thinking everyone's a cheat and nobody understanding even healthy commitment is work. But it's so beautiful when it works.

[@jessicamoses7326]

I LOVE HER❤❤❤ HER BOOK IS A+❣️

[@msmirror9628]

Cheating is unacceptable and dangerous..Im not tolerating it

[@mattmayers3012]

Great wife/woman!!

[@JustUdoro]

YALL GOT JUDGE LYNN??!!🙌🏾❤️🔥🙌🏾❤️🔥 #AuntieLynn