How To Say NO Without Feeling Guilty

For many of us, we believe saying 'no' is hard, so we don’t do it. And then we end up feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, frustrated, angry, and resentful because we're saying yes to things we don't want to do in order to avoid feeling guilty, selfish, uncaring or rigid.
But the truth is, saying 'no' doesn't mean we have to feel any of these things if we're able to change our mindset around what it means when we say no, and if we also have a step by step process to follow when doing so. So here it is!
-----
GET MY EFFECTIVE & ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION WORKSHOP, Speak & Feel Heard, here: SpeakandFeelHea...
GRAB MY FREE DOWNLOAD: 25 Ways to Say No: courses.juliak...
Here's the related post on IG: / b3vfwiihpai
Come learn more from me on social:
♥ FACEBOOK: FB.me/JuliaCoun...
♥ INSTAGRAM: / juliacounsellor
♥WEBSITE: juliakristina.com
#peoplepleasing #sayno #boundaries

[@HumansOfVR]

When time is so precious, NO is the most powerful tool you have

[@juliakristinamah]

It definitely can be.

[@ErikaK]

Saying NO is saying yes to yourself, put yourself first and your best interests. It may be hard when we feel we are disappointing others, but by saying yes, you are only disappointing yourself !! We can't please everyone...!

[@juliakristinamah]

We definitely can't please everyone ;-)

[@ErikaK]

@@juliakristinamah nooo ♡

[@sureyoudhaveta]

Thanks so much Erika, I have pasted your comment on to a sticky note on my laptop every day to remind myself to say no to something ;) #staysafe

[@laron.henderson]

Amen!

[@Walkinthepark305]

@@juliakristinamah lol I was sitting down After 10 mile walk they said go check the menu my mom. Told me I said NOPE YOU GOT YOURE OWN LEGS LOL I LOVEVMY epilepsy rage 🤣

[@sassysandie2865]

I’m finally learning that I don’t have to give lengthy explanations for why I can’t or don’t want to commit to something. I have FINALLY learned I can only handle so many things at a time especially as I get older. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy.

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes, yes, YES!!! This is so good.

[@gregcorbin8218]

This is so on point.

[@emfblockinghatsbyalana]

its hard to get someone off your back. Its not just as easy as saying No, cause there are complications to consider. Saying No doesnt necessarily get people off your back. I say, "I simply cannot" when I get push back.

[@i.e.presents638]

This is favorite concise way to be turned down, “No, but thank you for thinking of me.” Another option, especially if people are rushed or in a chaotic/confused moment, is- “I will give that some thought, but if you are on a time crunch or you don’t hear back from me soon enough then my answer will have to be no.”

[@juliakristinamah]

Those work great!

[@ddoris4118]

I have been manipulated as I am an empathetic person. Same people putting me on the spot and asking for favours. I am now setting boundaries and learning to decline requests. I refuse to suffer from BENEVOLENCE FATIGUE any longer.

[@thanahune9241]

Omg it’s sooo hard 🤣 like texting someone no is still easier, bc I can give myself time to think about my answer. But when they’re face to face I START Sweating 💀

[@shulammitetornyie8088]

Yes that is my problem too

[@emfblockinghatsbyalana]

me too. Take a deep breath and say, "Ill get back to you about that"

[@MiSquidster]

I started crying watching this. I have had a few “friends” for many, MANY years, and over those years, they turned bad. I’m so afraid of saying no to them because they get very mad and heartbroken and leave me. But they are just about the only friends I have left right now

[@ProdJamesCultz]

It’s okay to be alone it gives you time to focus on your development

[@onamiilove777]

Create a new village. They're out there. Ppl sometimes are for a season or 2 or more. We grown and evolve.

[@anitaluevano9643]

Its better to learn to be alone and love our own company love your self first

[@aprilc.3697]

Wow I realize that I need to say no without feeling guilty. The part about being kind resonated with me. I can be abrupt. I will keep these tips in mind. Often I just don’t reply back and then need to eventually tell the person no.

[@juliakristinamah]

There's nothing wrong with saying no! And letting ourselves do it in a way that feels right for us is really empowering and will also help us feel more confident overall.

[@captaindan1000]

Sometimes when you tell people no, they get upset about it. It's usually because of their egos. They got it in their heads that you have to say yes in spite of the evidence to the contrary. Healthy boundaries means knowing that you can say no when you have to. I suggest that people should use this to their advantage. Whenever I hear "What do you mean no?" part of me wants to laugh in spite of how annoying this is. What else would I mean?

[@imgbab2014]

I needed this today. I’m a breadwinner. Oldest among 5 siblings. I’ve worked for more than 10 years as a provider, but was never appreciated. They act like it was my obligation to always provide. From today onwards I’ll say No whenever they ask for money. I’ve had enough. I’ll say YES for myself from now on.

[@RaeLarz]

As a yoga instructor, a family member asked if I would teach them a (free) yoga class weekly. In the past, I would have just said yes. BUT I'm proud of myself for saying, "Let's start with one class, and see how it goes." No more locking myself down and getting super overwhelmed. My time is important and I have many things I'm working toward on my own time!

[@hanenbenaissat3741]

I really have difficulty to say no ,but its time to learn 😌

[@natashamudford4011]

Love is not love if there is no choice. That is why God created humans with free will. (just elaborating on "generosity is not generosity without boundaries.")

[@juliakristinamah]

I totally agree.

[@LimitlessThinker]

It took me the last few years to say no. The people we bring into our lives or our family can be the 1st people to cause the worst destruction in our lives. Those people who ask favors don't feel guilty! They get mad when we say no. They'll find someone else and they usually have a list.

[@alexandradegreas3108]

Jeez when you say yes they are happy they are going to be more spoiled and they get rude when you say No! People say no to me but when they ask me I say yes I did this 10 times then when she said No to me the next day she ask me *can I borrow your pen or rubber or your doll or your things* When you say yes you get sad and they broke your things so the next she said can I borrow something I said NO GET OUT OF MY FACE SPOILED BRAT! and this how it ends happy

[@admirbarucija2018]

I used to feel bad about not doing things for people, but I had to put my foot down to stop myself from being overburdened!! ❤️ I’m always super excited for your insight, your videos are always a highlight of my day.

[@juliakristinamah]

Really so glad this connected Admir - and thank you for your kind words.

[@admirbarucija2018]

Julia Kristina Counselling You’re very welcome! ☺️ I’m incredibly grateful for your channel and the thoughtful messages you communicate in each video.

[@another20sth]

I needed this so much. Most of the time I find myself swamped with other's activities and feel so drained. And then I isolate and stay away from everything so much that I end up on extremes. I don't to be this stress ball anymore.

[@carlyreigel510]

I needed this talk this week. I set some boundaries with my coworkers last week - granted the execution wasn't the best, but I should be able to say no and not feel like I'm going to get shamed or talked down to. Keeping this as a guide as someone who is a people pleaser, it's going to be massively helpful for my mental health and wellbeing. I've never gained the skills to really say "no" in a way that has been productive. Thank you!

[@hp2546]

Some of us would come from a workplace where dating a coworker is not even allowed. So if you were in my shoes, you would have to make staying at work as your 1st priority over dating. If you come from a workplace where dating a coworker is not allowed, you get to use that an a good excuse to reject your coworker. You will get to say sorry I don't date coworkers since there is a policy stating that dating coworkers is not allowed. If policies were written like that, your coworkers do not earn the right to show entitlement. Your coworkers would have to choose to either quit the job or just be grateful for having a job.

[@lime9227]

Generosity is not generosity without boundaries!❣ specifical lesson

[@TaraWagner]

A tip that I particularly like to share with my clients is to make the decision to say, "no" in advance. It’s can be super helpful to decide these things in advance so that you’re not trying to make decisions on the fly in a situation where you feel pressured to make somebody else happy.

[@williampleasant9563]

Hi, I’m a super empath, and my favorite word is No. By saying no to someone you’re making yourself fell very proud, and will also make you smile or laugh and grow into a happier human. PS, if your with a narcissist say No to that relationship quickly!!

[@winterwarmthsus]

Heartfelt and warm thank you for this video. Today I was drained at all levels and very frustrated seeing my vacation days slip away from me only because I’m saying yes to everyone who wants to hang out with me and I did not want to upset them and felt guilty if I said no. I took this vacation to stay solo , focus on myself, reading, relaxing, and just be alone to be ready to start my next phase of my life. But because I struggle with saying no, I found myself halfway on my vacation without doing what I really want to do. Instead I am pleasing everyone else and forgetting myself. Thank you and I will listen to this video over and over again to start applying what came on it. ♥️♥️

[@natashamudford4011]

I have a friend who simply doesn't reply, instead of saying "no."

[@BeLykeWatersofNunLoveLepus]

Natasha Mudford I do this 🤐😓.. I believe I do this because I want to avoid hurting their feelings, or make them feel some type of way like I’m selfish.. when actually it annoys them even more when I don’t respond. What would you prefer for your friend to do?

[@juliakristinamah]

I don't like that. If you allow yourself to be firm and clear and kind with your no, there's no reason to avoid.

[@GirlMomma]

That's me 🙄

[@juliakristinamah]

@bu2ful 1 I think all the more important to stand our ground and assert ourselves with people treating us in ways we don't like.

[@fatimasamira3695]

@@BeLykeWatersofNunLoveLepus I used to do that. But, that's totally inconsiderate. Saying "No" might disappoint people momentarily but making them keep waiting for your reply is disrespectful. I think we should say "No" immediately if we're unable to do something (and we're sure about it) so, that they can make other arrangements instead of wasting time in waiting for our response which is not coming.

[@GotGhost1970]

Saying no and meaning no without an individual asking you why or having a long discussion. When I say NO I want people to respect it.

[@innerworlds5327]

I like the term over functioning. I've heard of low functioning and high functioning but never over functioning. Very interesting and helpful video!

[@arinbae387]

fillaa I hope you see this and understand, it's not mean to put yourself first, it's not wrong to choose yourself first before others, it's your time, you deserve it and you have the right to say NO

[@sunnydaye5942]

So glad I found you! I'm going to be direct and clear and nice. "No, but thanks for asking!!" Yay

[@GirlMomma]

Love to play you through my car and listen while I drive. 💜 Thanks for another great video.

[@juliakristinamah]

Hope you had a great commute! Thanks for letting me be in the car with you ;-)

[@drevildruid]

"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." Captain Barbossa--Pirates of the Caribbean

[@juliakristinamah]

Love it!

[@maryluharmon3267]

I love that line!

[@abladeofgrass1003]

It's powerful yet frustrating and freeing..to know. I've been the cause of my overwhelmed stressful life. When just the word no, that I am so afraid of..was the antidote ..THE WHOLE TIME. At this moment, I feel the word NO .. is the true beginning of ADULTHOOD😂. For me at least.

[@tamikastafford1677]

This video was so helpful. I’m 46 years old and I’ve never set boundaries before. That’s probably why I feel so overwhelmed all the time. Thank you. This was very great information.

[@michaelzhao8590]

I struggled and hard time with saying No and having healthy boundaries when I was younger but ever since I got older and became mentally emotionally and spiritually enlightened, awakened, and had self control , resilience, and maturity, Saying No and having Healthy Boundaries takes alot of maturity and courage sometimes and I know the Important of it now , Thank You Kristina

[@michaelzhao8590]

Thank you Julia Kristina this is powerful I know it now

[@amberwilson3293]

I made the mistake of saying yes when I meant to say no. Now I have to go back to the person and decline. 😔 Kinda freaking out but this video is helping😊

[@juliakristinamah]

So glad it's helping - and that freaking out thing is normal - it means you're growing. Good for you sis!

[@Missgorgeous-p3c]

I did the same today,said yes ...then I went to the house n I was like HELL NO... called her n told her,look this is how it is....NO... to be honest that felt damn good n now I am happy.

[@unstoppablebratt2119]

Amber Wilson man

[@jessicamorales2555]

The key is to come out with respect and honesty. Lovely explanation. Thank you

[@yaelshmaryahu5314]

I'm in total shock right now... When you got to the part about childhood I suddenly had a massive headache and I had to lay down. You hit the nail on the head. Okay, taking a deep breath... I'm ready for this next step. TYSM ❤️

[@jungkookthecoolest586]

really great advices! I'm tired of being a people pleaser, oftentime I don't even mean it. but some people is just very shameless; even I've said no to them very clearly and directly, it looks like they think there's still hope that they could convince / force me into doing something i dont like; just keep persuading and insisting, and it just becoming even more annoying. And if I show them that I'm annoyed and raised my tone a little to tell them 'NO' again, they would think I'm rude and disrespectful, especially towards relatives or family. This is very tiring, sometimes i just wish to completely disconnect and cut ties with my relatives.

[@axlfox4048]

I absolutely needed this video, I am the worst at saying no especially at work. To often lately has my work been like can you work this day this day and this day and I'm like yes yes yes then next thing I know I'm working 50-70 hours a week working 8-12 hour days with one day off a week if I'm lucky. And while the pay is good when I'm away from work I find myself so exhausted and burned out that even deciding to not spend my entire day off in bed takes to much effort and after work when friends are like you wanna hang out I'm like no I'm just gonna lay down and die about something else. I just feel so bad saying no to people especially work cause I feel like I'm the only one especially at work who will say yes. Even when I'm at work I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated from being exhausted and burned out that people often tell me your doing to much you need a break. But I just can't!!!

[@emfblockinghatsbyalana]

You are soooooo good Julia Kristina. Best information out there! Soooo well spoken and I have gained a ton from your videos! Thank you!

[@ivry6871]

I'm new to this channel, and so far this is my 3rd video I've watched. I feel so much more confident already in my ability to set boundaries in relationships, and especially with my family. Thank you so much Julia for making these videos accessible to the public, I can't wait to work my way through the rest of your uploads.

[@emfblockinghatsbyalana]

The people that ask you for so much are usually not willing to return the favors back to you!

[@hollysmeadow2352]

found you last week and been watching everyday! thank you. I was feeling guilty for ending a friendship but this video is helpful too. I felt like I could just be civil and be her friend but I don't want to.

[@elcee8]

Omg I so needed this, especially at 8:41 when it’s mentioned that it’s ok to say no even if your commitment is staying at home and twiddling your thumbs. I work per Diem in healthcare and have been working a lot lately to the point of feeling burned out again and even having memory loss form stress. This week I’m off to relax but I get a text from a person I just covered last week to see if I could cover her again. Her family member is sick and wants to visit her but I said no because physically and mentally I’m just too exhausted. I know she is too but you know that’s why I don’t work full time I can’t it’s too much for me. But I’ve been wracked with guilt saying no to her. I hope she finds someone to cover for her.

[@jevgenijagukova1623]

Try to advocate for yourself at least as much as you advocate for others! I like this sentence. We always think of others, not ourselves.. very wrong sometimes

[@KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

Saying less (not listing your reasons to decline) is so much KINDER! It's a compliment to be asked to do something, so when you vomit out a list of whys, you are actually insulting the person who thought so much of you to ask you to participate.

[@danielcolombo6712]

You are doing great good with these videos Julia! Keep them coming😀. I appreciate all the effort you put into them. I would suggest that you do a video on guilt as that might help alot of people who might messed up in their past, but do not want to keep stuck in it.

[@wilbureastern1115]

The example at the end was eloquent: there's a world of difference between the kind and empathic way you explained your NO to your sibling, and the unexplained and the (3 separate times reinforced) NO I got from a member of my extended family that was supposedly "a close friend"...

[@bethanytaylor3463]

This is something that I have struggled with for years and I am so glad I watching this

[@miraclesom8524]

This video has changed my mind, I have a partner who I can't say no to especially when he ask me for money, even if I have plans for the money and if I say no he becomes angry and saying that am selfish

[@alexandrearucker7070]

Thank you for making this video! I needed this video, and can't wait to start saying NO without feeling bad about it!

[@sandra-fh8hc]

Thank you for the booster. Every now and then I revert to becoming the "yes" woman and I need reassurance.👍🏾

[@Mike-xt2lh]

Thank you for this video still learning how to set better boundaries with toxic people without feeling guilty .

[@juliakristinamah]

Awesome Mike! And, just as an aside, people aren't actually toxic - it's our lack of assertiveness and lack of healthy boundaries that makes them hard for us to be around. No one can poison you unless you drink what they put in front of you.

[@alicejosephine1921]

Julia Kristina Oh yes there are toxic people. The world is gagging on them. They are nasty, demanding, aggressive, destructive and just plain evil and they are literally EVERYWHERE. Just read about them and educate yourself about narcissists and you’ll see them. Also-children have no choice but to drink that poison put in front of them.

[@Mike-xt2lh]

@@juliakristinamah Thanks still learning love your channel btw !

[@kevinsailors906]

Jesus said, " Let your yes be yes and your no be no.... Really like you. You have good things to say.

[@HD-mg9ru]

Very helpful... Especially around the Holidays 😉🙏😀

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes! Listening to and taking care of ourselves around the holidays - and everyday - is important.

[@fatimasamira3695]

Thank you for this video. Honestly, saying "No" without feeling guilty is very hard. I always struggled with that. I think I can't have enough of it. Clear, concise and nice.....great! That I can even practice today.

[@juliakristinamah]

Let us know how it goes!

[@fatimasamira3695]

@@juliakristinamah my cousin is getting married in Pakistan. She wants me to attend the wedding. Of course, I can't go at this time of year. I apologized and refused as lovingly as possible. She understood. I thanked her for understanding and really tried to communicate that it was such an honor to be invited. I m so touched but, I can't make it.

[@calico6873]

I’m afraid to say no to my family members because I don’t like some of the things they invite me to do with them. When that happens I can’t think of anything else, stressing out, feels like I’m carrying a lot of weight especially in my chest. I’m still working on saying no, but the video helped a lot especially now I’m not the only who has this problem.

[@claudinesouza8995]

Thank you, Julia! These are all reasonable and doable!!

[@juliakristinamah]

Excellent! Really glad it connected

[@rainlany6574]

I have a 'friend' who is expecting right now, and I just had my son about a year ago. So I have a big spot in my heart for babies.. so I find myself helping this friend with as much as she asks for. Because I want that baby to have what she needs. So if she needs a ride to pick baby items up, needs help getting food, etc. I always end up saying I can help. But she asks almost every day for a ride somewhere... And with my son and home life, it's alot. I want to cut her out of my life or atleast say no more, but I feel like id be betraying her and her baby. But she doesn't do anything for herself. And I love helping too much, that I help more than I can handle. I've said no a few times and she always begs or uses pity to get me to help. I'm just so done though, I want her and her baby to be healthy and happy, but it can't be all up to me. Ughh..

[@ccburro1]

“Clear, concise, and nice”❤️❤️❤️

[@BrotherTree1]

You can't give and forget about individuality at the same time. That's not possible to live healthily and sustainably well in any relationship - be it with others or the wider community, otherwise we live in a totalitarian way and that is not the way to live. It's self-destructive and malevolent towards everyone, to the oppressors and oppressed alike. We've seen this before in history and it almost wiped all of us out. So no... look after yourself first because that's the cornerstone to one's own wellness, and then it is much more sustainable and healthier to help others and thus the decision is easier to make (to say yes or no) because you'll be able to afford to with managed self-care or better gage yourself in that manner at a given time. Whilst others can chime in and support, ultimately no one is responsible for that apart from the individual themselves. I think a good indicator is that if you're struggling to help yourself, even in the seemingly trivial ways such as organising your routine and your room for example, then you're in no way of shape to be able to take on a bigger task such as helping someone's problems or the wider community/society. It'll seriously destroy you, damage your psyche and confuse your moral compass; it's no joke. Instead - and when you can healthily afford to and are capable of doing so - a more responsible, lasting, peaceful and fulfilling solution is this old saying of "give a man a fish - you feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish and he (ie. You help the man) feeds himself for a lifetime". In other words, teach others how to look after themselves instead of constantly giving them your expendable resources (physical and metaphysical), teach the person to develop their own. That is true and genuine helping in my opinion. That way, you are bothered much less in the future and reduces codependency whilst increasing responsibility. So, unless it's a life-and-death emergency situation, if you're being guilt-tripped for saying no to a request - that is oppression imposed upon you and that is irresponsible by the "demander" and morally unacceptable. And that can explain your feelings in why it's difficult to say no - as your autonomy was taken and misused many times throughout your life and usually without being aware of it.

[@zakiamwoma4647]

Julia. Wonderful class. I say:yes,yes,yes,yes. Yes. I am exploited because of carrying junk.

[@damlagnr]

I recently accepted a role at my university as an executive member of a club. However, sleeping on it I decided it does nothing for me. So I want to quit. But I didn't know-how. Until I watched this video. I will call my advisor and tell him that since I have a lot on my plate its impossible for me to commit to another club and my teammates deserve someone who will commit 100% Thank you Julia you helped a lot

[@katescavanger7548]

Hi, I was watching this video because I will be meeting a person who made me a job offer in the next 2 days, and I was freaking out about having to say no, I'm a total yes person, and I always say yes at the expense of my own sanity and happiness, and I'm 35 now and I feel if I don't learn self respect now, I never will.The offer I was made initially sounded super exciting and definitely something I can envision myself doing with passion and achieving great results.Since then, the way things seem to go, is in completely different direction, but the assumption on that persons side is still the same, is that I'm interested in the position.I am still nervous, but I'm going to say NO and be grateful and nice about it.I'll let ya'll know how it went :) Thank you Julia, I feel i'm not alone in it

[@miaw8116]

Thank you, I’ve never said no. I always thought I would sound rude. So i appreciate it

[@eleonorpinkyellowtv9833]

I'm here because today I sayd yes when I should sayd no. I know I disappointed my self but I have learned. I swear!

[@edwardreyes9010]

Ughhh.. i need so much help... How'd i get so far behind... Mental breakdown in 2015 has not been easy. Oh well... im trying anyways. Great video. Thank you for all your videos.

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad it connected Edward. And you're not far behind - you are exactly where you're supposed to be - and investing in yourself - that's huge.

[@philosophygurl78]

Yes!!!! so Happy this video came out now! doubly shared! resonates wholly right now :)

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks sister! So glad it connected.

[@philosophygurl78]

@@juliakristinamah I am so truly blessed by the light you give! Thank you

[@bui5256]

Excellent advice. I can use your tips to say no more often now. Somehow the volume of your clip seems to soften after 12:30 mins. Thanks

[@ThePurest03]

Hello, I'm suffering from this problem since a long time I've watched so many videos to learn but again and again i do same mistakes and still I'm not able to change myself properly and I'm so tired of my this habit 🥺

[@excusemeum....8053]

It’s the fact that I say “I don’t think I can go on a bike ride today” because we go everyday and she goes “why”. Like she literally spams my phone every day saying “hello? You there? When can you go? I’m coming down”

[@nataliakaczkowska1488]

thank you, this video helped me say no and stick to the decision despite intense and repetitive emotional pressure that was put on me. And to feel ok with this :)

[@ShoutsWillEcho1]

14:00 people canceling plans is the best thing ever, suddenly you have a whole day free to watch television

[@butterflyj685]

Thank you for your content, however none of this works with most of my family or some friends!! Even after politely explainning when necessary! For years it always ended with them badgering me to get their way because they are self-centered and only think of themselves. The whole conversation ends up being an arguement. An older friend who is like a mother to me said, I have to just say, " Out of respect for my husband let me run that by him first to see if he's made plans," Now none of them questions my "No" because they know they are not going to question him as to why not or try and get him to change his mind. Yes I know in their eyes I may look weak with that response. I don't care what they think because truthfully I am the one that makes the decisions on everything!

[@sparklingdaisy3169]

My dad's girlfriend put me on the spot when she asked me last minute if her daughter could come with me to the movies. I didn't feel comfortable taking her with me because I don't know her and I've never met her. This is the third time that I've had some form of conflict with my dad's girlfriend. I'm always getting negative reactions from her just for being myself. I'm not going to let another one of my dad's girlfriends make me feel bad for being myself in my own home. Being around her is exhausting emotionally. I let my dad know how I feel about her treating me this way and he just says I'm overreacting.

[@Deadtrees15]

You’re dad is gaslighting u

[@BeautifulLove8888]

I wish it was really that easy. Some people like to ask even when you give them brief explanation. My friends and family always ask why and what’s the reason etc.. they always want to know in details. A friend was already upset at me for canceling out on her for her birthday since she told me ahead of time. I was very nice about it and had told her that I had just realized that those are my family’s busy month and we have a lot going on and I have to be there with my family. I even apologize. This is nothing new.. my friends them know those busy months with my family so it’s really shouldn’t be any surprise to them. These friends always gets upset if you don’t come and hangout with them and some even thinks you act like you’re too good to hangout with them. Smh. To be honest, I say what I say and I can’t control how they think and feel so I only do my part by saying what I got to say. Afterwards, I let them be. It’s fine if the speak bad about me. I’m tire of it and I just try not to let the bs effect me. I can’t expect them to understand when they don’t or can’t understand and respect me or my explanation.

[@kevinmcdonell4292]

I am so glad I found your videos just started watching you this morning and you hit alot of key points

[@susie2366]

We moved four hours away from our families in retirement, so visits now involve people staying overnight for at least two days, which is much more difficult and involved than a single day get-together. This is adding another whole level of difficulty to setting boundaries and saying, “No”.

[@davidmt3]

Nice explanation. I appreciate your suggestions were relatable and concise.

[@cpvenkatanathanparthasarat4182]

Excellent way of explanation.

[@brittbritt9791]

Thanks so much for this! It's crazy I'll be going something in life i go to KZbin and you make a video on what i need! It's like your a mind reader 💗

[@edwardroberts5580]

I really enjoyed the whole process that you explained in the video

[@tarkov666]

On the other side, i kept inviting someone to things, helping them with stuff, tried talking with them. All i ever got was "No" if it was something they didnt like. No explanation what the "no" was directed at, no reason why. I was left guessing what "No" was about, which only led me on to keep trying over 1.5 years until i finally got tired of it all. You might be busy, but the other person probably are too...

[@Ddeath.Eaterr]

Thank you I really struggle with this and have reached a breaking point This is helpful

[@laron.henderson]

Thanks for this video! I'm having trouble with the church. They expect me to be there all the time and use God and The Bible to guilt trip me and say I'll be blessed later. But that's gotten old and tired.

[@anadventure1298]

So many of the people in my life that make me feel obligated will come up with solutions and questions to why I can’t and even make special accommodations…they never want to take no for an answer ..it really seems like a loose loose situation

[@sharonp4106]

Just what I needed to Hear! Signed, self acknowledged people pleaser.😬

[@veronicabruce2078]

listened to your u tube & I like the clear, calm, kind ways to say no. We all need to know when to put up the SOS.

[@jesussierras2909]

This is awesome! I appreciate these keen insights.

[@celanalimoongal3368]

I looked this up because I had a pretty severe problem with saying no, and I kind of avoided people in general because I was worried about saying no without sounding mean. Unfortunately, that especially didn't help me when it came to "nice guys". Twice I was stalked and received a series of unwanted advances. Now, it wasn't my first (and I doubt last) time getting hit on. But what made these two cases frustrating was that both took advantage of the fact I thought of them as friends, would not take a hint, tried to manipulate me (and people around me), and worst of all, some friends and family actually sympathized with them. I had accusations of "leading them on" or "being mean" to them. One guy got caught lurking around my house and another actually went door to door in my neighborhood to find me. Also, one of them actually spread rumors he and I were dating despite me rejecting him for years. I looked back on thise times and realize despite saying no, I wasn't firm enough because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause drama. This wasn't helped by the many people that always treated me like I was the bad guy. So when one of these guys started to act like a douche to me, the few people who knew the truth actually reminded me how toxic he was as a "friend". The other guy, he was way *older* than me and took advantage of a sensitive time (personal issues) to repeatedly flirt with me. Keep in mind, I was underaged and my own mental health was in a shitshow. So, I honestly refuse to feel guilty next time or let anyone make me feel that way. But I still have much to learn so that's why I'm here.

[@zanetaz.8534]

What if people start arguing with me when I say no, and even when I explain myself they still try to convince me to say "yes"? I get angry at them, but they do not seem to care about how I feel, but only about the fact if they manage to convince me. What to do? What to say? How to deal with people who are unsatisfied with my explanations, and keep inventing solutions for me on how I should arrange my time, my way of living, my thoughts? I get really lost. :(

[@hamidehcole9952]

Exactly!

[@clairegrozier2393]

How about " for the sake of my health I need to say no. Please respect my decision. I do not want to discuss this further "

[@harmony3395]

This is focussing on task related requests. It’s time management. What about non task related requests where “thanks for the offer” (there isn’t one) “I’ve got commitments” isn’t an appropriate answer. Where “no” results in disappointment or even sulking - being nice doesn’t help here.

[@eliigl441]

It's good to say no I have so much peace and energy and am happier I help others but if I notice a pattern that the person is only wanting me to dump there issues on me every time I set boundaries. If they are receprical Im willing to help.

[@drsharadkothari]

Thank you Dear

[@amethystessence]

Everyone needs to learn to stand up for themselves

[@ashkeeoh]

i’m more stressed for saying no and made other people think bad about me and now, I have to deal with the bad rep in work

[@spearson8355]

Excellent video. Did you explain what fomo was in the video? I rewound it a couple of times ... and finely googled it. Duh ...silly Stuii. Hahaha. Thank you for your videos. Already sent a friend your way and she signed up for the communications course.

[@ConfusedWonkie]

i thought i knew how to say no but i didn't and because i kept taking on task that were not my duties i stopped focusing on my actual job i almost got fired today, oddly enough this was the first video i saw and you sound exactly like my manager who i honestly feel like i disapointed today and last week

[@animeweeb3991]

Even tho im young this really helped me that people have the same problem like a month ago my little brother asked for 5 dollars to buy him some lunch at school knowing that i couldnt eat if i gave him the money i gave it to him, I knew that i would feel really bad after saying no so i didn't eat that day. By the way he could of got something else for less but he wanted this Pacific thing

[@pravin070506]

The other option is when you want to say No, say Yes, but with your terms and conditions. Let the other person decide if he/she ok with your terms.

[@cysshorts1529]

You are describing me in a nutshell. This is good stuff.

[@c.b.389]

thank you 4 your help.

[@LovelyTeee_]

It’s hard for me to say NO to people

[@alexiabalker5496]

Mornings. For the life out me I can never say no without feeling super guilty & also not wanting to come across as unkind or just not caring' & would end up saying yes but not meaning it because 95% of the time I know these people are lieing about there reasons; but my continued allowance of this is right now harming me leaving me questioning my worthiness in this life or if I even matter if I didn't maybe have that thing to help them out.