How to Set Emotional Boundaries For Yourself

[@TheCalucita]

in case someone else would like a directory: 4:00 triggering conversation boundary. 6:30 labeling boundary. 8:10 support boundary. 10:55 Feedback boundary. 12:40 information boundary. 13:55 privacy boundary. 16:30 wrap-up

[@liljemark1]

I could listen to you talk about boundaries all day. Well, sometimes I do 🤣

[@suprememaz]

I’m really grateful that you’re talking about this, especially the part about support boundaries. I’m realized listening to this that the reason my relationship is starting to become draining is I’m giving away too much of my control to try to be supportive of my girlfriend, but it isn’t healthy for either of. Thank you for being such a useful resource for all of us.

[@methodmuse]

Emotional awareness is such a crucial skill in so many areas of life. We need to be aware of our tendencies for fixing, people-pleasing, projecting, labeling, and reacting instead of responding. We should teach emotional boundaries in schools. Great topic, thanks!

[@nathanandrews9446]

My first thought was Yeah! this is a great idea! My second thought was, that I don't know if my mind was mature enough in High School to take in this content. Then again, maybe my mind wasn't mature enough because I didn't receive this kind of content early enough. This might be middle school content before we let puberty take over our minds and emotions.

[@lesliengo8347]

Absolutely! I sent an email to my local MLA about teaching this content in schools. I will also be emailing my local school board about this as I feel it is important to teach something that is universally practical that will help us move forward in life.

[@methodmuse]

@@lesliengo8347 WTG! I hope they jump on the idea.

[@lesliengo8347]

No ads, no fancy graphics. It's amazing you deliver lessons every or almost every week. Will there be a time when you would run out of information to share? I hope not

[@mymentorjane6705]

I really appreciate your comment about letting people know what you do and don’t need when we’re speaking about a problem or challenge. I’d also suggest saying something like, “Thank you for that suggestion. It would also help if I could use you as a sounding board. Is it ok if I think out loud with you for awhile and you could just hear me out?”

[@darthfiende1]

I appreciate that clarity of response. I once had a friend say, "Thank you for your perspective," with the intent of shutting it down because she didn't want it, but I took that to mean it was helpful and welcome.

[@mymentorjane6705]

@@darthfiende1 I understand. Otherwise, it can be perceived as sarcastic.

[@taraelmegreen5527]

I have learned TONS from u and appreciate your gentle yet direct personality and delivery! Its always fun to be part of "your little corner on the internet!" 🥰

[@IfraahAhmed-o3m]

I have problem with all of them,hopefully I will be better in a month or so.thnk you😊

[@mimithekitten5781]

thank you I feel so relived

[@wbritz9491]

Again. So to the point... Been listening to a few of your videos and I must say to you that I just absolutely love it. Thank you Julia. So nice 'meeting you '. In my 7 month journey from being in hospital, ICU etc, I had to learn a lot about boundaries, because I did not have any. Wish i could share more of this journey. Been so tough, but good. Funny thing is that when you don't have any boundaries set, people walk over you, but also being my fault for enabling them to do so by not setting my boundaries, communicating this and also setting consequences... Funny thing also is that because I dont have boundaries, I could also not recognise (or even understand) other's boundaries, and then the response behaviour made me feel so rejected? Hope it make sense, and hopefully this also helps somebody out there. Anyway, please keep up the good work. I honestly just love your realness Julia, the 'rawness'... Something in my life I am in such need of for such a long time. So... thank you! Love, peace and blessings. Wessel (South Africa)

[@johnpool5629]

I am going to work on all of them starting this week, have a great week Julia.

[@tracirex]

former shifter. having the categories really brings dimension to the boundaries topic. thank you.

[@muminabegum7466]

This is a very interesting video!!! I feel that the triggering conversation boundry, the labelling boundry, the information boundry and the privacy boundry apply to me the most. Thank you so much for sharing this informative video 👍🏿

[@shweetiepetina1563]

That’s for the heart hug. This is so helpful. Ahhhh

[@BunchofStyles]

I like how you say it so kindly

[@ZikhonaN]

Thank you Julia,

[@Kijo_777]

I want you to know that I appreciate you and your work here, verry much.💎 Thank you!💖🤗👏

[@d787c]

Hello, I really enjoy and I'm grateful for your channel. Today's topic on emotional boundaries is definitely something I personally struggle with setting. The 1st one would be Information and privacy within my family. Your examples are great. The others listed I'm embarrassed to admit I need help with those as well with other relationship dynamics like romantic, friendships and co-workers. Thank you for your knowledge and recommendations Julia. It's much valued and appreciated 💕😊 🌞

[@eyesaidit5195]

I needed this video so much omg thank you!!😩😩😩🥴🥴🥴

Clear, accurate, I appreciated listening

[@corner23]

I love all of these super practical examples. This is super helpful.

[@joannepigliavento7930]

All so very helpful! And I also see that I am guilty of some of these sharing issues. Lots to work on 😀

[@TrishLee]

This is gold! So much to learn here! Thank you for this helpful discussion, Julia! :)

[@lisakrushinski9436]

You have been so helpful! Thank you!

[@EmmaLKalny]

Thank you! So helpful!

[@ritorenello]

Very useful thank you, all resonate well and there is a lot of food for thought here…

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you for very helpful information.

[@thewishingpooltarot5425]

I think if you are having a conversation with someone who judges you rather than being productive with you is telling you something rather big about that person.

[@sgsg9251]

I truly found your video both enriching and absolutely useful.. Thank you ever so much,Julia. 🥰🤗

[@cyber_tech120.]

Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

[@thenebraskan6977]

Thanks for the awesome video and information JULIA. YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST 🙏👍🌞😇

[@houdini2022]

I needed this today. Shifter ❤️

[@chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Julia! Senior Shifter here! Good for me! I did this differently today. I used my phone and used the split screen feature with KZbin and my One Note App! This was a lighter and shorter video, so it was a good video to try it this way. :) Great little reminders on boundaries! 1. The triggering conversation boundary. 2. A labeling boundary. 3. Support boundaries. 4. Feedback boundaries. 5. Information boundary. 6. Privacy boundaries. I think 3 is something I probably want to be more aware of. I do love being there for my friends ona deeper level and that will never change...but this does make me think instead of the deeper stuff....it might be fun to have lighter topics to discuss too. Talk more about our likes/dislikes and prefences...and not always converstions that feel like a counseling/coaching session. To anyone who is reading this, remember that you are a worthy and valued person. ❤️

[@liztetley3609]

Thanks for suggestions on how to phrase things. I struggle to put my needs into words.

[@elizabethfindlay5752]

Thank you! It's definitely very helpful to learn about boundaries and the different kinds. It's eye opening and I couldn't imagine going back to No boundaries. Definitely a red flag when someone proclaims they don't have any or if they go around the ones you do have up.

[@ranc1977]

Yep, this is important for healthy balances mind and interaction with people. I learned that when dealing with trauma and anxiety it really comes down to what I call "retort" however as I see, in English language it is called "boundaries". I dislike term boundary because it represents in my head as wall that makes me autistic and closed in my own world. I like more term retort - since it signifies interaction with my environment, where the person on the other side might appear toxic - but they are not toxic really. And that is where retort is action where I probe the situation and people and interact with ambient to check, test and see, observe like scientist what is really going on, is it really catastrophe as it seems to me.

[@MariaSantos-gm7ps]

Thanks

[@lauraboyes6345]

Labelling boundaries

[@locust334]

This is super helpful. Just to have that label and understand that's why I'm being triggered should help me to deal with this. Thanks! Awesome video once again

[@Name-oe4fq]

I really like your voice

[@rajeshk9175]

Are there techniques to stop absorbing other peoples emotions and bad energies? This is very subtle yet very draining without proper boundaries.

[@amritalohan8211]

Is it ok to love your authentic self....let's say m setting boundaries regarding not to share my clothes ... doesn't it mean m being materialistic??

[@mandiraroy7125]

Hey Julia first comment ❤️

[@TwoJointsOneFilm]

I do the one of fixing someone’s problem (my lil sisters) and it irritates them that I try to fix it for them. So I say well then just don’t let me know because idk how to turn it off, especially with them.

[@mymentorjane6705]

That’s so good!

[@karinabuettner4032]

Julia I love you and I love your videos. Are you aware of how many times you touch your hair during your videos?

[@hotfuzz774]

...a great example of unsolicited feedback 🙌

[@b_smehov2062]

I have rumination cycle about having rumination cycle. Dont know what my normal thoughts should be, all i can think about is not knowing what to think about, its been a week and its getting worse and im getting constant panic attacks, please help

[@NoneYa-pg6dk]

hm.. this one was interesting. human emotions are so complicated, you never know who you are offending. anyways, always remember to forgive if you know it's coming from a good intention because everyone makes mistakes. also, if they know, they know. sometimes just let people talk and live your life as long as it's not affecting your job and your relationships.

[@eyesaidit5195]

I could hear you just fine over the noise ijs

[@brooklynn52dee38]

I am better off alone...

[@stephanielan3771]

你要§

[@avicohen3035]

In Israel ,your freedom of speech is restricted. My device has been compromised and my comments are being segregated/erased/edited.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

We know what the zionist do already

[@Mark-qt5ux]

if the girl you're talking too takes advantage of the help you're giving to her instead of being grateful then that's a red flag she's toxic don't hang or support those girls they didn't deserve it in the first place. if someone is giving solutions that means they are supporting and listening but the problem is the other person aka those kind of females who say things like that. if those females see you giving solutions as a bad thing they are the real toxic ones. the problem is not you for being kind/helping and supporting, giving solutions is helping/listening and supporting its just the other person is taking advantage of your kindness which shows that she doesn't care or is trying to manipulatively advocate towards others not giving solutions to other people which means she's trying to advocate to bring others down and let them be miserable with their problems and not bring the light to it so that means it makes her feel better that you are suffering and those people secretly want you to suffer, those girls are the real toxic ones and so is this therapist. don't be so easily naive and fooled to believe everything that's thrown at you and trust everyone so easily even if its a therapist.

[@Mark-qt5ux]

STOP BEING SO INGRAINED TO THINK PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS WHEN THEY DONT, IF YOU RANDOM PEOPLE ARENT IN YOUR LIFE THEN THEY ARE NOT IN YOUR LIFE

[@Mark-qt5ux]

if the girl you're talking to takes advantage of your kindness when you are giving solutions, she's the real toxic one and anyone else that supports hiding solutions and not talking about them is a red flag and the real toxic one. this therapist is someone you should not trust what so ever. she's so toxic and deep down a fake person, she dosen't actually care about you nor is supportive or kind. just because she's a therapist dose not justify the fact that she is ''trustworthy'' or ''a good person'' they are people too and can be bad people as well.

[@erikagaleeureka5697]

If you recognize that this girl is taking advantage of you while you offer solutions, rather than just not ready or available at the moment, then yes, cut her off. If she's unwilling to look at toxic behavior, and you are, then cut her off. Sometimes people act as a mirror too. It's our responsibility to look at our own actions and take our own healing seriously and personally, independant of others. I wonder, if you think this therapist is so toxic, why do you watch her videos?

[@Mark-qt5ux]

@@erikagaleeureka5697 you're sooooo ignorant, closed minded and judgmental. don't speak on random people you don't even know or talk to

[@Mark-qt5ux]

@@erikagaleeureka5697 you're extremely judgemental to assume and think you know everyones life and problems when you have no idea!!! when you're not in everyones life. you're so closed minded, ignorant and judgmental Jesus there's so much to hate about you I f hate you

[@Mark-qt5ux]

@@erikagaleeureka5697 that's the most worst excuse ever, girls like you who try to make excuses for secretly trying to silence others by not mentioning the cure to their problems, are evil. girls like you who make excuses and say things like '' I'm not ready'' you don't need to be ready to listen to words that's the most dumbest and worst excuse ever. we also live in this generation where so much is advanced people are ready enough. whoever isn't ready must be homeless but then either way it dosent matter because you don't need to be ready to listen to words at this point your just making excuses to justify your evil, bad, toxic behavior. you've been caught and not justified. females like you are toxic!

[@Mark-qt5ux]

@@erikagaleeureka5697 just because I watched this video dosen't mean I love her. I don't love her, I hate her. I hate females like her, females like her are toxic, bad and evil. oh did you think everyone that's watching loves her???? you thought wrong. stop being so ingrained to think you know everything then get the wrong false information.

[@Mark-qt5ux]

giving feedback and giving solutions is helpful and if you're not the type of person that would apperceive that but instead take it for granted then you are the bad person , you are the bad person that shows that you don't care about what help the other person is giving and that is extremely a big red flag. I strongly hate females like that and I hope you get ruined or sent to jail. that's so offensive and rude, giving solutions is support and helping and if you're the kind of person that advocates for that manipulatively then you are the real bad person. she's trying to advocate towards others to not share, solve and bring solutions to the other person. I genuinely hate this girl so much and the worst part is she says she helpful but really deep down she's fake and a pyshcopath

[@glacialimpala]

Really poor video. You keep venting instead of giving actual advice.

[@jc73871]

Not sure what video you were watching...she told us examples of exact verbage when the situation arose...

[@ranc1977]

​@@jc73871 It seems like venting only to people for whom boundaries is a foreign and mysterious term. For example, I learned only a couple of months ago that I can actually say back to people "I disagree with you" and leave it at that, beforehand I was programmed to believe that I have only two options: 1) to engage in explosions, drama and wars or 2) to be passive, to fawn, shut up and self censor and be immobile. As if there is no alternative. There is. Many people grown up in abusive environment never learned how to speak truth and be honest - instead that was punished and labeled as difficult behavour, as venting. So I am not a bit surprised that there are people there who see talking about retort and self-advocacy as "You keep venting instead of giving actual advice." There is no advice. There is no ultimate words that you can use in real, daily life- since people and events are erratic, problems are always changing and they are never the same. We receive general direction, general advice and then we modulate and form our own response based on general advice. When we have grown up with criticism and adult hysteria - we were programmed to be perfectionist, we were expected to know all and everything and to know all and to fix other people. That is why the message is hardly getting through - it is literal black transparent veil over our face, a filter that is preventing us from realizing the true reality - and we have no idea that there is distortion and that we are short sighted.