Just Because You Are Attracted To Someone DOES NOT Mean You Are Compatible | Mel Robbins

[@MoeSims1]

So true! Just because you like/love someone doesn't mean you are compatible 💛

[@melrobbins]

💯💯💯

[@Kayu07]

Compatibility can bring or improve in relationships? Or it is impossible?

[@gracesusan806]

What if you’re married .. what now

[@Kayu07]

@@gracesusan806 after marriage not possible?

[@RoyalPurpleStar]

I so know what you’re talking about, because literally every single thing is extremely difficult with my husband, and it was already like that when we were a few months into dating. I knew something was seriously wrong and tried addressing issues with him, but he’s never really listened nor changed his bad ways.

[@lucydematos9595]

I stayed in a relationship way too long, hoping things would change. They never did. I am so happy I ended up seeing things clearly and ultimately left. I felt as if I was fading away staying in that relationship, I had to see things for exactly as they were in front of me and not the potential or fantasy of what I needed. Multiple conversations just exhausted me and in the end I had to save myself.

[@melrobbins]

I am SO proud of you for taking that step and leaving. It's amazing to see you showing up for yourself, Lucy 👏

[@MissSothePeacefulObserver]

This is one of the reasons I never wanted to live with anyone I dated. I need a lot of space in a relationship, so a part of me is always hoping I'll meet someone who's the same. I don't mind some avoidant attachment issues in them, if they don't mind some of that in me, heh.

[@z.deutch1334]

Omg Mel, this video could not have come at a better time! It was released an hour ago, and 1 hour ago my partner and I just had a massive argument and broke up. But he texted me saying he's willing to talk tomorrow, but I have no idea how to structure the talk so it'll be helpful and not trigger us into another fight. The steps on how to have a conversation before breaking up with someone is EXACTLY what we need right now, especially me as I'm having doubts about his values and feeling burnt out from dealing with his temper. Thank you Mel! You may have just saved a relationship 🙏

[@az55544]

i thought you were going to thank her for supporting your graceful exit from a toxic relationship. his temper? those don't go away. they get worse. it's control. his values? that's basic relationship stuff. why would you get back into that after managing to escape?

[@laurelscouture]

LOL. After 44 years of what turned out to be only 20% of the good stuff that I had worked extremely hard for & I'm sorry, that I deserved to receive 80% of, because I had bent over backwards in every way imaginable to accommodate the other person, I say this: If I had discovered the route out from the total chaos sooner, I would have taken it. There were no realistic options, no fanciful relatives or friends, who extended a hand that could have changed everything. There was no government program that would protect me or my kids. Though I must say that I feel fortunate for the ones who provided emotional support as I continued to strive for a way out of the darkness. I now know that nobody else could have done better in the same situation, because some very important details mattered. There are those who have said: Why are you're walking away from money that's finally available, at your age? My response: Money means nothing, when there's no love, care, consideration, civilty, or respect. My lesson: Never give kindness to someone who doesn't deserve you.

[@Cee_Eff]

I'm sure that "attraction" and "hot chemistry " overlooked this

[@laurelscouture]

@Cee_Eff Neither were the reasons. Lol. I'm not That's pretty shallow. I've been caring & loyal to a fault. But enough is enough.

[@Cee_Eff]

@laurelscouture I understand. I didn't imply shallowness. I based my comment on something that I have seen happen to female friends many times over the years. There was always a "...but the chemistry was so good..." answer

[@laurelscouture]

@Cee_Eff I get it. But it wasn't really like that. In my heart, marriage was & is a commitment for life. Though I never actually was convinced that I should get or be, married. I accept ths lesson for who I have become.

[@JessPallo-jp4uc]

This is very helpful from the first second of this video speaks a lot in my current relationship. It was a guide for me not only for my self improvement but the current relationship i have right now. The "ABC Method" that i've been doing for the last 6 months once i raised the issue. But nothing change, instead, he has different priorities right now. I am trying my best to let go, but still showing up in my apartment and by seeing him it drained me. I know being gay man is very scary, ending up alone, but i think i am choosing me this time, my hobbies, my peace, and hapiness. Thank you Mel such an insightful topic about self-care, relationship and find balance in life. Being adult is hard but this channel helps me to keep on track on my attitude, feelings and my whole well-being. There are episodes that i can't help but cry, feeling guilty and happy. Thank you for helping people to better understand ourselves.

[@pavithraannamalai]

I'm from india ❤ learning many things to live an extraordinary life from you... Thanks for your compassion towards human beings.

[@devikagupta898]

Same.. An Indian breaking generational and bollywood conditioning

[@melrobbins]

Thank you SO much for your support. It means the world xo

[@karennovosat5435]

This is so true. This was exactly my last relationship.

[@Joy-mm3cz]

I love this topic. My last relationship I was with an amazing man. He was 7 yrs younger than me and was emotionally intelligent. ( he was 42 I was 49). He just wasn’t for me. I want only the best for him.

[@appsbymarcie6686]

My husband and I want different things in life but he’s still the right one for me.

[@DebWtzl]

Thanks so much Mel. You have helped me immensely

[@melrobbins]

I am so happy I could do that for you, but the credit is ALL yours, my friend xo

[@CydPiper]

Thank you for your wisdom and advice Mel. At 66yo I got dumped over Christmas because of the 20%. We clicked, had a great time together and fit well with each other. We fostered a great connection but then he cited that in his opinion, we were not compatible for whatever Godly reason that I yet to understand despite his issue with alcoholism (which I did NOT harp on), he is well educated, spoken, fun, and adventurous. One of his complaints was that I lived in an Urban environment which he is not accustomed to but that is all I got or heard. I've been devastated and tearful and I'm desperately trying to get over him as he won't have any of it demanding that the communications end and he only makes this demand through text messaging refusing to talk to me. He literally callously ripped my heart out of my chest; so, I'm going to binge on your video's and hopefully I'll see the light of day. Thank you with Love ❤🌹

[@az55544]

sounds like you dodged a bullet. you've got loads of time, at 66, to find someone who isn't an alcoholic.

[@CydPiper]

@@az55544 Thank you for your kind words of support. I'm just feeling so debilitated and just want to stop grieving him ❤🌹🙏

[@rachelteeuws1241]

So true! You know when you just don’t gel

[@jennynguyen-lam5633]

"People only change when the pain of staying the same far outweighs the pain change"-Tony Robbins (I've paraphrased)

[@HumbleGoddess555]

I heard it like this “ people change because they hurt enough they had too “ oh my gosh it’s so true. The pain of staying in not worth it.

[@abdullahiosman4549]

Always learning something new for self improvement ❤thanks Mel

[@melrobbins]

That's what I'm here for!! xo

[@jamionmi1988]

I love you Mel.

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

I appreciate it very much 🙏 😊 ☺️ ❤️

[@Cee_Eff]

Great one and so true. I wish more women would embrace the teaching of this video. I've known a large number of women who though that the "20% sparky thing " was most important and wasted too much time with the wrong people/relationships because the "sparks were so good". On the other hand my group of single male friends have always been told that we would make fantastic partners...but we were rejected because we were somehow missing the small amount of "sparky stuff"

[@virginiahilman7786]

So wise

[@EnjoyWithSoyoung]

I feel so self guilty when hearing about 80:20 lol good reminder!

[@z.deutch1334]

11:09 Apologise & Ask open ended questions Back off and watch their behaviour Compliment & celebrate whenever they make progress/change

[@TheHeartWeCarry]

I respectfully somewhat disagree with Mel's comment that if the person doesn't hear you, they are never going to hear you. I have a close relationship with a former romantic partner. He would never hear me when we were together. Now, today, he hears me over almost everything lol The context of the relationship may have needed to change to get this to happen, sure, but he is still the same person just with more life experience and wisdom now. Our relationship has been one of the most significant relationships I've ever had. I thank God for it every day. LOVE: Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve We were able to do this with each other... but outside of the context of marriage!

[@twanmatthews2229]

Is this also relevant for long term friendships as well. Because I am feeling these things

[@melissawatson9662]

Brilliant !!

[@patty237]

There’s always something off…

[@VictoryApex488]

Yes 😊

[@pb5191]

@patty237 As a man, nothing is ever 100%. If it is at 80%, the couple are fortunate

[@shurrymasa]

Something is wrong with you, that's why.

[@asleptir]

😂

[@earnienyoka2918]

Sheesh this is good!!!

[@kabscool1]

So true ❤

[@3ricArjona]

Preach!!

[@jennydrozd29]

I have always gone with chemistry and it 100% does not work. #thingsIwishIlearnedsooner LOL

[@creatingwithangelarush]

On another subject, that camera! Holy shit, you just improved my eyesight a few points!

[@zombiemolly9711]

I can’t ever get it to fit.

[@emm6724]

What if he’s betrayed you. You’ve gone to therapy, waiting for him to change. Then over five months he finally thinks you’re going to break up and he changes and wants one last chance and is nice for the past two weeks? I have three kids with my husband and I don’t have a job, I don’t want to be with him anymore but part of me just wants this attention he’s finally giving me

[@creatingwithangelarush]

20 yrs with the knowing it wasn't right.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Oh god here we go I was always ugly

[@Trendyviews.]

#LetThem

[@tallspicy]

When I see men’s profiles online and they say they are looking for chemistry, instant swipe no. Shows me total relationship immaturity. Women probably say the same.

[@Truekaruminmr]

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@Jennymmmmmm]

❤

[@upgrade4347]

Baxk then it wasnt hip and cool to say no to elders with boundaries but now you can make money at this stuff! Whoah! But to truly be instrinsically motivated, for some, was not possible. They cowered and went along to get along. Be honest thats the best policy. The elders cannot really hide anything as theyve fallen so far short, of being decent to posterity. Altadena can mobilize with love care and kindness to keep human dignity yet what we observe the elders who dont know how, doing, is being rude.

[@upgrade4347]

Now let us see if, you still want to be distracted, by sexuality, when we ask for the elders to actually organize. And then wow what was all the shame and competitiveness about? Putting your own kind through all of this,