Mel Robbins ON: If You Struggle With ANXIETY in Your Relationships, This Will CHANGE Your Life!

[@darliqo]

Letting go of control is such a powerful takeaway. It reminds me of what I learned from the book at Synfla, it showed me how to create emotional safety in my relationships. If you’re struggling, don’t let another day go by without reading it! 🙏🏼

[@Sky00071-g]

“It’s nobodies responsibility but mine, to make me happy” 🙌🏼

[@melrobbins]

Yup!! Exactly 👏

[@He1iconia]

The only thing missing from this excellent theory/method is to also SPEAK YOUR NEEDS and MAKE REQUESTS. It's crucial to express this element for your own empowerment, and giving people an opportunity to choose to meet your needs or make authentic adjustments to fulfill your requests. Yes it's a risk, and yes you're opening up the chance for them to disappoint or hurt you. But if you just "let people do what they want", they may never know that it's not working for you but it could if they just knew what you wanted from them. Not expressing your needs/preferences is really passive and disempowering for both parties.

[@andreabrigitteprohaska3281]

Non violent communication from M.Rosenberg 👍

[@ceciliamac4283]

Agreed ❤

[@Missnidski]

Totally agree

[@DoReMeaCulpa]

I agree. I was thinking the same thing as I listened.

[@lucyg7887]

The let them theory reminds me of let go and let God. I was in an abusive marriage for 18 years. Been divorced 6 years now and to this day my ex treats me the same. He has narcissistic and toxic traits, not saying he is a narcissist. When we got divorced I had to let go and let God. I remember that what God knows about me matters more than what someone else may think they know. Then I heard about the let them theory in 2024 and it really helped to add to that. I no longer let anyone affect my mood, I let them be who they are and understand it’s not personal. It’s the capacity to which they operate. Some of us are further along in emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental intelligence. We can’t expect others to operate at a capacity they don’t know how to. Life changing for sure.

[@myawoods1435]

Amen

[@siha1080]

Yes

[@michele2347]

God has nothing to do with it.

[@angel794]

The main problems with "let God" are: 1. God is a fiction, not a reality; 2. If you turn over your personal power to a magical, fictional entity, you are being completely passive, which makes you powerless and changes NOTHING. "Let Me" puts the responsibility on YOU to be proactive and deal with your own problems.

[@Mama.bear.]

Amen. I just left my abusive marriage a month ago. Just got her book and plan on reading it this year. God bless you! 🤍

[@tjtoliver0221]

Anxiety Control by Ethan Parker ebook is something everyone should look into. I followed their methods, and the shift in my awareness has been profound. My intuition is sharper, and I’m experiencing lucid dreaming like never before.

[@anneliesewright662]

This discussion helped me see that some people are simply not capable of reciprocating in the way we want. Knowing that makes it easier to "let them." It also makes it easier to "let them go" without harboring bad feelings.

[@meganmackenzielove12]

😊

[@chirokathleen]

The three “A’s” in Alanon are Awareness, Acceptance, Action. “Let them” is acceptance for what is. “Let Me” is self accountability, “if it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” I love hearing it in any form and I’m so glad Mel Robbins is bringing her brilliance and light to this topic. I also recommend David Hawkins “Letting Go” book and/or his simple meditation technique. I’ve learned how to process my painful human emotions and have learned how to be resilient. The sensation of uncomfortable emotions makes us lock up and resist what is. I’m so glad Matthew is mentioning the nervous system and how we can become dysregulated.

[@MoMo-vb9zq]

My 2 favourite gurus in the one room! If you only knew how much you both have helped me in my relationships and self improvement, thank you I am eternally grateful for your wisdom, clarity, honesty and compassion 🙏🏼🤗💖

[@melrobbins]

That means the world to me, but remember, the credit is ALL yours xo ❤

[@buda2049]

“ in the game of life you are not playing against people, you are playing with them.” “ people do well when they can” Beautiful episode, thank you so much ❤

[@melrobbins]

So happy you loved it xo

[@roseladore1220]

I just got my copy from Amazon. I love that Mel gets interviewed by the best podcasters bc I the questions I wanted to ask gets answered from one or the other. I love love love it!!

[@SuperDoordoor]

It's wonderful how perspectives can shift over time. Revisiting something can offer a fresh understanding and appreciation. The ability to see things differently is a gift. Embracing change and growth allows for deeper connections. I'm glad I found renewed meaning in revisiting today! ❤

[@dilara1038]

Hello Matthew, after 10 years of not actually using my profile on KZbin I logged in again just to write this comment: You are really the best, you are the one i trust most with taking advice on love, can you please do a video about relationships in general? How to maintain a healthy relationship, tips on being an amazing partner and an amazing self at the same time, the videos are mostly about finding a person, but I would love to see one from you for someone who found their person and looks for ways to maintain and seek happiness in their relationship, thank you so much!

[@07MMota]

“When a book makes you excited to buy it for people that you care about…” YES! I’ve already ordered a few copies to give to friends. When Mel said it was good a part of me thought well she has to say that, but OMG this is GOOD ❤ It had me laughing and crying. Thank you so much for this Mel❣️ it’s helped me make some realizations and given me the tools for how to move forward. Thank you thank you thank you 🥰

[@GR-rk2fi]

thank you, Matthew, for recognizing the heartbreak you go through before you understand you have to let someone (go) and cannot change him or her. It is so right to take the energy away from the things you can´t change, but it is heartbreaking to give up the hope you have in the beginning that this relationship or friendship might be different and fulfilling your dreams. For me, this is the hardest part. To stay hopeful and move on and I always have to grieve deeply before I can let them be. Mostly I have to give up my deepest wishes and hopes internally and completely and sometimes then I can take what is there in reality. Some of those relationships survive this process well and mature, many don´t. But it is also true, that it is not anyones job to make me happy, it is mine. And there is freedom in that, I can always make me happy, just not in the romantic way.

[@ceciliamac4283]

It’s a beautiful job to make someone happy as long as they make us happy too and as long as they know what makes them happy and can go for it too. I love seeing people make each other happy. And I wish you to meet a person that will ❤

[@GR-rk2fi]

@@ceciliamac4283 Thank you, dear, maybe it will happen. It is beautiful when someone wants to make you happy. You just can´t expect it 🙂

[@ceciliamac4283]

@ Exactly! My pleasure dear 💗💞🫶🏼 And you will! Surrender your desire to the higher power and it will be done ✨

[@Lottieandcopper]

I am 36, newly divorced and really want to move back to London, where my friends are. Over Christmas my dad strongly expressed he doesn’t want me to go and thinks it will be a foolish mistake. I felt sick with guilt. Listening to this video has really helped me! Let them.. I am going x 15:30

[@nadja5154]

It's hard to 'leave' your parents when you know they're getting older... but it's your life. It's the parents duty to keep their expectations towards their children in check. All the best to you in London! (while typing this out, I realised I moved from London to Brighton at age 35 and I still don't think it's a good place 'to build'. Maybe your dad is thinking more longterm. I shut up now😶)

[@sujatasadanand2375]

I loved the episode as like Mel Robin and being of the same age as her, i too lived my life as an immature 8 year old with temper tantrums and expecting people to adhere to a standard.' PEOPLE DO WELL WHEN THEY CAN ' and 'LET THEM BE ' will definitely change me for the better. Taking initiative to go out and make friends and instead of being jealous be appreciative that they lead the way and give you a blueprint are also takeaways from the episode. I thank you both.

[@categlezos6765]

Great advice and theory. Thanks Mel and Matthew. ❤

[@BetterBelief]

Matthew just keeps getting together with the people who I adore the most. But he is still the one who I adore the mostest ❤

[@shelleyberg6454]

THANK YOU to each of you!! Great way to kick off the new year! So inspirational! I loved Mel's comment about the 73 mistakes that were found in her new book after it had been published. This reminds me of the Chinese adage regarding their admiration of cracked pottery. The cracks are places where the 'light' enters.❤

[@kimyork4945]

OMG Matthew - I have listened to your podcasts and content for the longest time... but this podcast was such a lightbulb moment everything that was discussed... so so helpful! Thank you so much to both you and Mel!!! I have needed this for such a long time.. Just Wow Matthew... Big massive thank you! xx Love your content !! Thank you for all your efforts. We are travelling at the moment in Vietnam on a journey and I soooo needed this! And yes I just sent this to my sister! THANK YOU x

[@bethandalaska]

Thoroughly enjoyed this!!!! Also excellent timing as I just practiced this theory (unknowingly) a couple days ago when a guy I was supposed to meet for a New Year’s eve date (second date after a phenomenal first date a few days prior) suddenly cancelled and was making excuses that didn’t feel right…. well…. I LET HIM and I went about my business and haven’t looked back. Now he’s a ghost 👻…. by his choice alone (he can reach out if he wants…. but the window for me to still date him likely has closed…. as I have priorities in my life that don’t seem aligned to him). Thank you 🙏🏼 Matthew and Mel ❤❤❤

[@christelnielandt5117]

Brilliant ! I too see a therapist on a regular basis… however listening to podcasts like these, they add so much more valuable to my life. HUGE thanks to both of you 🥰❤️🙏🌟

[@humansacademylife]

Wow! 🤩 Thank you guys, what a beautiful, tender and inspiring conversation! Mel, what an amazing work, I'm impatient to read you! Matthew, thanks for sharing struggles about your career life, I appreciated that now as an entrepreneur. The last moment was so cute! I started telling my friends I wanna become a better friend in 2025, telling them more that I love them, and being more proactive. Now they started telling me "I love you" more as a consequence. So I'm also advocating for your work and the "first change yourself" mindset. ❤

[@alvav.6054]

@29:40 huuuge WOW moment 😮 this is exactly what I've been realising during the last few years. You're in so much more control than you think in your life. There's nothing wrong about being the one reaching out more often. This whole podcast is just amazing ❤

[@vixter28]

Thank you for this video. I applied this with my break up and also family and friends and I have been able to let go of all the hurt And I am more calm !! And I’ve also decided to LET THEM be out of my life ! ❤ I was always feeling guilty because I didn’t want to interact with my family members bc “ we’re family” - I don’t care if your family or a friend if you’re toxic I don’t want you in my life and I’m not gonna feel guilty about it anymore!!

[@hdog4474]

The “warm relationships” concept is sooo so interesting 🤯❤️‍🔥 excited to try this out

[@sabinaismailova4927]

My two favorite go-to gurus for life and relationship wisdom in one video. Love!!! Thank you for this! ♥️

[@gracemitchell3633]

I love seeing y'all's friendship. What a beautiful thing🩵

[@valinasintal4477]

This is soooo good! 2025 will be better with the “let them, let me” theory > what I can’t and can control is the key question. Thank you Mel and Matt!

[@melrobbins]

2025 is YOUR year!! xo

[@oliviadesousa3941]

I loved this episode so much. I balled my eyes out in a euphoric way, it was an intense and amazing experience. Thank you so much both of you for this. You have no idea how much I needed to listen to this today.

[@melrobbins]

This message was meant for you, Olivia ❤ xo

[@JulieSaunders-d4j]

Wow one of your best podcasts had already got the book but not read it this is so inspiring, thank you Matt and Mel.

[@laurashellady3778]

Fabulous! Let them and LET ME is one of the best intellectual and emotional practices I've heard in a long while.

[@melrobbins]

❤❤❤

[@TraceyBarracloughInspiration]

Invaluable. So glad I’m not the only one who overthinks social media posts; good to see the vulnerable side of you Matthew. Thanks Mel also; I’ve been using let them for a few weeks now, after a friend said she’d seen it cropping up. This will also help my (Hypnotherapy) Clients. I also use an affirmation, what’s possible for others is possible for me. I’ve potentially been invited on to a couple of podcasts and found myself thinking, maybe they want someone more well known etc. My friend just said, stop right there. I could go on and on. Thanks again guys x

[@joseedsondasilva1143]

I'm totally in love with this episode, I really need to hear it. Thank you so much guys❤

[@odemarisrivera8125]

what a way to start this year!!!!! the 2 people that have helped the most in my healing journey... AMAZING

[@donnazify]

This is the best Mel interview.❤

[@Gazza7777]

This book will save many lives 🙏❤️

[@ainsleyferger6447]

Thanks for sharing this with us and I loved the book

[@alikoenig4715]

Love this!! Why is one person have so much power over my mood and emotional state!! Love this!!

[@bethgarcia961]

Thank you, Matthew and Mel. I have been following both of you since being discarded by a dismissive avoidant to learn how to move forward. This has been fantastic and insightful!

[@pedrodiaz5369]

This episode save me in so many ways

[@melissawatson9662]

This is a profound. Thank you Mel.

[@oliviaszeplaki4386]

It was very good, the best way to start the year. Thank you for both of you!

[@Narnima-yx8gf]

Amazing episode, Matthew. A heartfelt thank you is extended to both you and Mel 🙏🤍

[@nikkiyoung6736]

So much useful information. I feel like this could truly be a life changer. Thank you, guys ❤

[@loppan4534]

Great questions Matthew ❤️👏

[@smol3human]

How is this even free to watch? I mean, I am feeling like I am doing something bad by not giving something more than just my one tiny view. Thank you. This video helped me a lot in so many aspects of my life.

[@EmilijaDyP]

Starting 2025 with Mel and Matthew?! YES! 🤩 Thank you for this surprise. Hugs from Serbia! ❤️

[@srosess292]

Loved it, thank you for both ❤❤

[@talesfromtheroad9530]

No wonder she's a Bostonite--she talks just like us 😂❤

[@mairamuslimova1262]

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Thank you for this podcast. I listened thoroughly every minute of it. Sometimes 3-5 times again. Best wishes from Kazakhstan 🇰🇿 And I subscribe to this page ❤️

[@m.3282]

Incredible podcast! ❤

[@marlyndelacruz7565]

It's a good day podcast happy new year❤❤❤

[@bradplant872]

I really needed to hear this! Thank you! 🙏🏻

[@Saramedo369]

Thank you guys ❤

[@ScotchMonster]

Groundbreaking Mel! ❤🎉

[@alyssageorge6880]

That comes from deep pain acting what some people would say emotionally immature” it usually isn’t immaturity at all and it’s just wanting to feel loved. You can tell when someone’s been through that kind of narcissistic abuse or pain when that’s the way they are acting

[@sumedhasarma9865]

The best podcast ever❤️

[@larissasanjur2159]

All true, thanks🙏🏾🌞😎, i choose to let them be

[@gailwright5016]

Love love love this podcast both so spot on thankyou 💖✨

[@sonja7711]

Mel, you are great... ❤ I love you.

[@JeannePouliot]

Simply a big THANK YOU !

[@marilynoverton8142]

So informative and inspirational! Thank you both very much!!

[@freevoice5126]

Loved this Interview!! Totally resonates!! Thank you ❤

[@saldanhaamanda]

Loved this podcast. It put all my perspectives into words! Thank you!

[@sele8235]

Such a good video!

[@darlingnyibz]

I always look forward to listening to/ watching your content ❤ Keep doing what you do.

[@debbiepaster5345]

I love you guys! Blessings and thanks for a tune up as to where my mind travels to a negative of self doubt and create that energy that traumatizes me. Learning to release in a narcissistic relationship. Stay balanced and heal. Love but a who is this guy shit! Right. I’m very spiritual so the energy is so off the charts. I e been deep diving to heal as it’s all about the teacher. You both are that! Thank you!

[@Yamo-h9d]

OMG what a breakthrough! This should be called I am the center of the universe theory. If you ever wonder why marriages fail, people are incapable to build healthy relationships. Everyone is so massively self-centered. When are we going to reinvent the wheel of Get Over Yourself Theory?

[@racheyg1980]

I feel like this is easy in theory not so much in practice

[@stendaalcartography3436]

Ya I talk to anyone I come across. Not EVERYone but whoever happens to me in the way lol. Mostly look for things to comment on the shared situation is easiest topic. If convo dies that's fine and ride it out/go each their way. Sometimes they're not open to talk at all. That's fine too, just move on like the wind.

[@patty12367]

Queen Mel Robbins 👏🏼

[@Molly-w7e]

Loved this woman. Makes sense

[@elyenalampert8637]

How about to soften parents disappointment by perhaps sending them flowers if spending time together is not possible, NOT out of guilt but indeed with confidence of your feeling and decision to let situation to serve optimally all.

[@Keepmoving-y7c]

Great message- thanks

[@AxmenAx]

Thank you! ❤

[@hdog4474]

Mel knowing the exact number of mistakes in her book made me chuckle, as another perfectionist haha.

[@UDMnana]

The problem is in a business setting you feel you have to keep your customers happy and despite the 100 things you do right but the one mistake will become a huge issue and they threaten your business

[@Hopefullindz]

You now have a road map to make that vision a reality

[@mrandmrsbeauty]

Great episode. ❤🎉

[@SaraFreedMiami]

Nice but depressing to wait towards the end of the year fir THESE breakthroughs and resources!!❤😢😮 3:14

[@ireefree2024]

Her theory isn't completely thought through. It's like half baked. She's right about that we can't change people and it's our responsibility to let them be who they are but it's also right to put up boundaries because it's still not ok to let these people completely go nuts. It's not our responsibility to ignore all bad behavior in sake of it's ok because this who they are. Sure we shouldn't be to harsh on small mistakes but not tolerate everyone bulls...

[@Sonoranrosie]

That’s where the let me part of the theory comes in

[@timm.8729]

Hey, she's not saying you shouldn't set boundaries. Setting them is part of doing and saying what's right and authentic for you.

[@pinkturbomoto]

Yes definitely read the book... let me is the first part and, as she says in the book, the less important part. Let them, then let me. Let me choose not to stand for that behavior. Let them act that way... then let me choose to distance myself, etc

[@PaulMcAnally-fz2pu]

Exactly, so you "let them" do whatever they're gonna do and just ignore it, stop giving it any attention and give yourself peace instead

[@annetteforrest30]

I'm 63 and only recently realised I am emotionally immature and have almost zero EQ, I'm thinking that although I want to it's maybe too late for me to start again

[@anneliesewright662]

We learn something new every day. I'm 65 and determined to have a healthy relationship with a man someday. My mom met my stepdad when they were in their 60's. They've been happily married for almost 30 years.

[@annetteforrest30]

@anneliesewright662 that's so encouraging! Thanks for sharing!

[@Rico-RR]

You might live for 20 more years & may still bless someone else’s life in some capacity. Definitely not too late!

[@nadja5154]

How have you realised that?

[@kateriebarnard6733]

Thank you!!

[@Luvya5]

Love her❤

[@nuriknur1730]

Let them cook now 😉

[@hadiza1]

Morning! 💜

[@Mark_R_Tho]

Matthew, maybe you could consider interviewing Byron Katie. Because she did this first. She’s been teaching the three types of business in the world for decades. I love Mel. But she did not come up with this “theory”, as it’s being branded.

[@melaineoneill468]

I am sooooo disappointed……….. you have such a good voice ❤

[@Sumaya-f2v]

1st comment , ❤🎉 matthew ...

[@helenhamidi]

I love this ❤

[@mahsaaamottaghiii]

thank you it was great

[@GR-rk2fi]

What about having a physical handicap that is stopping you from having what others have? Would be interesting to hear her answer.

[@lanegralorenza]

Beautiful!

[@Mandy.S.]

Something made me watch this when I haven't been in here much. Why? Because of what my posts may look like to others. I think I needed to watch this for many reasons. May 2025 be more "posty" for me after this! 😂 Also, let them enjoy my posts- or not. Their choice! I got a lot from this - more than just about worrying over posts.

[@BeautifulSoulsHello]

curious what ethnicity is London ? your barista ?😊

[@UncleJimboo]

Babe wake up, another Matthew/Mel podcast just dropped! Happy 2025!

[@andreasandor8165]

Thank you so much for this interview. Matthew said at 14.16 that not bad spiral will come of it if you use the let them. What do you do when there is. I mean I noticed in my life when I let ppl be disappointed with me they leave me most of them for good. Even family members. Then what do you do?

[@GR-rk2fi]

If you did say no in a friendly, loving and kind way and they still leave, then they weren´t the right people for you. Then you have to go and look for your tribe. Sometimes they come back, when they see you living happily.

[@MetalBere]

❤ this

[@hayshannanz]

Okay, so, what if someone decides ‘let them’ about YOU and ghosts you, so you say ‘let them’ about them.. everyone just stands on their own island never getting close? Or a parent walks away from their child -the child can’t understand, nor should they, ‘let them’ and develops an abandonment wound. Do you teach your kids ‘let them’?