Where Did I Go Wrong With My Kids? | KARAMO

Gerri says she's a "gentle parent" but maybe that's catching up with her now. Her teen children Deja and Duane say that Gerri projects feelings on them, has unfair expectations, and rarely shows them affection. Deja even admits she had been violated and her mother had little reaction. Can Karamo help this family find a better way to communicate?
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[@Somugaga]

Mom's communication style shuts her kids down.

[@kcol3747]

Cuz they spoiled and lies

[@veen0610]

Plain and simple

[@penninah_penninah3318]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@heatherhillary]

​​​​​@@kcol3747 just bc theyre spoiled doesnt automatically mean the mom's way of talking is good. if all she does is jump down their throats, why would they want to talk to her abt anything?

[@_Hi_-_]

​@@kcol3747 You're the type of person to hit your kid for doing something wrong instead of TEACHING THEM why it's wrong. Teach them why what they did is wrong, teach them how to be better by setting an example, teach them by BEING A GOOD PERSON, teach them by showing them kindness you want them to show to others, teach them by communicating with them, teach them by being as honest with them as you want them to be to you and others.

[@love1318-y5x]

This Mom is strange. She states," She's gentle, putting on a soft baby voice. Then, she turns all military as soon as she talks to the kids. She's like a different person. She doesn't speak to them. She speaks at them. These kids seem like great kids. She's so lucky and blessed to have such well-behaved kids. Mom needs to let them speak and express themselves. Stop cutting them off. And stop saying all the things you did for them; that's your job as a parent. It makes you sound like you are attention-seeking. And I don't even know what to think about the daughter getting molested and Mom's reaction. She made it all about herself. You, a Mother, be there for your daughter. Instead of shouting, try giving love, hugs, and emotional support.

[@kcol3747]

She doesn't turn ghetto.... she is angry ppl have a right to be angry

[@NoMADnecro]

​@@kcol3747 Shes passing her trauma onto them and it's why history repeats itself and we have generational trauma until people heal and work on themselves

[@r0xanne_d0ll]

All I see is a covert narcissistic mother who has no problem talking badly about her kids on television and having not one ounce of self awareness of her flawed behavior that may affected her children's up bringing. Sadly the comments are saying she's more valid just because she's an "imperfect" mother.

[@marinablackwell8055]

Because she is lying

[@marinablackwell8055]

Being an irresponsible person is not an excuse for being a poor mother, and I’m saying that with my whole chest, nobody told you to pee out there as a teenager and pregnant and have a child but you did and it’s not an excuse to be a shitty mom the facts are the facts. Your poor decisions should not reflect on your children, you either get it together or you give them to somebody you can

[@kaylawilburth623]

This is exactly why I can’t talk to my parents. They just start screaming.

[@geraldinewalker958]

Sometimes it takes a person to get past the uncomfortable feeling to move towards peace. When there’s understanding the shouting stops

[@michaelamitchell1603]

fr or say "I'm not going to argue" like it's really pointless.

[@imhereforitall9218]

Yes. My mom used to gaslight us when we were younger but as we got older we put a stop to it. I had always got the sense that my mom had some unresolved trauma because she rarely brought up her childhood. Only after she passed away I discovered that my mom was actually pregnant at 16 years old and may have had a self induced miscarriage and her dad, my grandfather may have possibly been the father. R.I.H. Mom.

[@slothmightbesleep]

literally!!!

[@Bowisdeadlol]

IKR then she get mad when I wont talk to her about my problems

[@lkpeace911]

It’s sickening to me how many of us have been violated

[@rastamuff1]

Truly heartbreaking

[@januaryrain2704]

😢

[@Dontbecold]

I wouldnt even wish it on my worst enemy. More than a conquer.

[@bluestarconstruction1988]

Soo true

[@onlyest3921]

I am a 37 year old black woman & I personally don’t know anyone close to me that wasn’t sexually assaulted. It’s sickening

[@blackwhite2361]

These kids actually are well behaved compared to the average American kid. The girl talked calmly to the mother even when the mother raised her voice

[@karenpidika3192]

well behaved where

[@S9renethe_s1rawxberry]

@@karenpidika3192more than you

[@ashleysingh2534]

just because someone is well behaved comparatively to an averagely poor behaved group, it doesn’t make their behaviour ok. if someone is the LEAST rude out of a group of rude people, that doesn’t make them nice.

[@blackwhite2361]

@@ashleysingh2534 if you go back and read my comments you realize that you cannot see the word *nice* or *okay* anywhere in the post. Being well-behaved and being nice are two different things. I am making reference to the behavior I have seen in this clip and the fact that they act better (during those 15 minutes) than the average American kid

[@ashleysingh2534]

@@blackwhite2361 i understand and i want to back peddle on that statement too. just because some individuals are more behaved than an overall very less behaved population that doesn’t make them “well behaved”. it just makes them better than most.

[@wynterstormy5640]

The saddest part is when the daughter said she was raped and the mother said “I couldn’t help u bcuz I didn’t help myself” that’s the most worst excuse if u didn’t help urself it’s ur job to protect ur child and help her get the justice u didn’t get urself

[@radiantgoldensun6438]

Not an excuse. The truth. Mom offered her options to connect her to help. Daughter refused. Mom did the best she knew she could.

[@wynterstormy5640]

@@radiantgoldensun6438 maybe excuse wasn’t the correct word but she could’ve done more press charges do something talk to her not just offer therapy

[@radiantgoldensun6438]

@@wynterstormy5640 she could’ve done that….you are right on that one-she was abused though-she helped to the maximum of her mental and emotional extent at the time. Not excusing that she didn’t press charges but the story seems complicated. She kept hanging around the guys after the incidents. More than likely they wouldn’t get a conviction due to the circumstances.

[@andrekelly3150]

I don't think the mother believed her she said in these comments that the daughter changed her story three times as if she was lying!

[@IIta-ren]

Why tf would someone lie about SA expecially to your own mother it just sounds like the mom didn't want to except that her daughter went through that so she tries to justify herself not helping by trying to find holes in the story, also in such a traumatic situation you cant 100% remember every thing correctly as a CSA survivor ​@@andrekelly3150

[@musicbykg]

Damn that mother has anger issues. I can see why her kids are disconnecting from her. When you scream at a child, you stop them from feeling safe to communicate.

[@dianesaud]

I don’t see mom as great as the rest of these comments… kids aren’t allowed to speak or talk express. Kids always yelled at. Idk man… so off

[@TheRealEvvonne]

They are GROWN though. They can MOVE OUT. That’s what I did at their age. The toddlers in that home are the mom’s responsibility only at this time, LEGALLY.

[@dianesaud]

@@TheRealEvvonnehmm you right! I did the same

[@Flustered_Potato]

@@TheRealEvvonneThey can move out, but that doesn’t mean that’s not their mom anymore. They still have to interact with her for the rest of their lives. How are they supposed to have a healthy relationship with someone who yells and talks over them? And then she’ll wonder why her kids don’t talk to her anymore.

[@user-cu9nf4yp5p]

She did nothing about her being molested

[@Nominaze]

⁠@@TheRealEvvonneThey are grown but I believe that this stemmed from their childhood as well. If they were constantly yelled out and not having their mom being there emotionally for them, then that same feeling of not being able to speak up with they’re mom, will come into fruition while they’re older. Im glad they were able to make up though

[@Nancynelloo]

The mother is aggressive for no reason! Shes not allowing her children to express themselves and gets defensive and angry when they try. It’s exhausting to watch let alone experience. It’s like talking to a wall that bounces the ball back at you. No wonder these children rebelled against her; the disrespect, aggression and non-existing emotional support would cause anyone to go crazy.

[@mindyourbusiness660]

Yes! Then the first comment I see is about how the mother is a great communicator. You can see the fear in the daughter every time the mother spoke. Our community loves to be just so loving and understanding towards the parents in these situations, but never give a second thought to the children and just sum it up to them being disrespectful, spoiled, or out of control. Its exhausting seeing the same thought process among people in this comment section.

[@geraldinewalker958]

I provide emotional support did you not listen to the entire show??? The only emotional response I struggle with is physical affection…hugs kisses and the such. I’m a work in progress

[@geraldinewalker958]

My children are not scared of me by a long shot 😂. I’ve always given them a platform to express themselves. This was a frustrating conversation that needed to go past the uncomfortable reality to move towards the peace of it all.

[@finessej9583]

@@geraldinewalker958You don’t have to explain, to anyone. The ones who get it get it. It was beautiful to watch & the fact that you made sure to understand or try to understand them is effort and it shows your love. 🖤 We see you momma bear 🖤

[@julianasergent4703]

To be honest though, I was the same way with my mom and so was my brother. We were both into a little trouble here and there, and over time it builds up into a frustration, and most parents either give up (just let the child go rouge & possibly go south, or better, live and learn), or their frustration comes out as being aggressive. Sometimes we would make my mom so angry she'd start to cry. I always used to think my parents were irrational, and that what I was doing wasn't ever a big deal, but eventually I just learned that after just following what they told me to, (cleaning my room, doing a chore here and there because I live rent free, listening to the things they tell me, not being rude when they ask my to do something, be home on time etc) I noticed life together was much much easier. Also some things were compromised on after problems were caused. For example, they gave me a 1-2am curfew after I turned 18, well I was getting home later than 2am a lot, and they were not having it, so we ended up agreeing that if im going to be out later than 2am that I should shoot them a text letting them know where im at and that im staying there for the night, because they don't like being woken up, but that I had to be home the next day to let the dogs out, but I can go back out after. There are still disagreements from time to time, but I just came to the realization that it's all just a respect thing, and it really doesn't hurt to be respectful to my parents boundaries and the things that they want to see. Especially considering they've done so much to raise me, to put food on the table, to provide for me, and they still continue to to this day. My parents definitely have a few toxic personality traits as well, but I've just come to see that everyone is flawed and so I forgive them for a lot, because overall they've been good parents.

[@roscoeswetsuit1218]

If someone constantly yelled at you when they disagreed, was never open to your POV, and showed 0 empathy when you shared your traumas, you'd start acting differently too. But because it's their mom people expect the kids to bow down or struggle to survive in this economy.

[@Angiebee.]

It makes me mad how many people are saying this is good parenting. This is not good parenting at all. She literally humiliated those kids in front of everyone, yelling, not actually hearing them out.

[@CynthiaVoice]

Why is she yelling like that. I'm sorry, that's too much!

[@aGwEENapple]

Yeah, I hope to not be like this with children that I raise. They have feelings too. Mostly, they're trying to figure out life and can get a lot of help from older people who've lived it before them.

[@nathanielofori83]

Everyone's parents yells at them at a point in time. And as a kid you'll do stuff that will annoy your parents which will make them yell. But for it to be consistent, you got to look at the kids side.. What situation are they putting their mom in, for her to be yelling at them. Don't blame the mom cus she's a good mother and she gotto work on herself but who doesn't. If yelling is where you do the judgement, don't have kids..

[@Ben-qb9ry]

​@@nathanielofori83she is clearly not a good mom, what about her behavior in anyway suggested that

[@bluefeather05124]

THE KIDS REMAIN CALM WHILE THE MOTHER NON STOP YELLING

[@EssiSings]

Dissociated🫥

[@greenqueen3843]

She openly admits to "popping" her kids, and as they got older both of them "caught her paws" and yet people are sticking up for her?? Uhhh no. I dont care what anyone says, hitting your child doesnt create respect. It creates fear. If this is what she admits to, to the ENTIRE world, imagine what goes on behind closed doors.

[@steviegarduno6254]

Wrooooong

[@wingandwang5634]

no u​@@steviegarduno6254

[@lifeotterspace]

you’re absolutely right, i have anxiety and flinch damn near all the time from anyone even if they are playing around because I constantly got hit with a belt or bare hand to the bare ass.. it’s not okay and it’s why i’ll be doing better for my daughter

[@blueangel2288]

@@lifeotterspacesame! Im so sorry this happened to you, I hope you can heal from it and not pass it on to the next generation 🫂

[@lifeotterspace]

@@blueangel2288 i definitely won’t be passing it on to my daughter, my only issue is the yelling which i’m hoping to fix before i cause trauma ❤️

[@celinas6261]

It saddens me that black families believe that a child is spoiled if they aren’t kicked out by 18… personally I’m a parent forever. And whatever my kid NEEDS, Imma strive to provide till it’s my day to meet God. And my mom is the same way, I’m 29 and she’s here for me like it is day 1.

[@Nancynelloo]

Period!

[@universe-ie2mk]

I dont think its families only mothers tell kids mostly sons that get out at 18 crap. I never heard a father say that unless the kid was being disrespectful.

[@hoodooladiiiii9625]

💯💯💯💯

[@celinas6261]

@@universe-ie2mk I’ve heard single mothers & married couples as a unit, tell the kids to leave. Idk what it is that makes them do that smh

[@Nominaze]

Samee! My mom is the same way

[@ibaekvr]

parents think putting a roof over your head & providing clothes is gods work…no that’s what you’re supposed to do. we need you mentally, emotionally & physically.

[@queenchristavia6334]

Not when your grown because you can do that your self

[@shunohh]

@@queenchristavia6334My grandma helps me with clothes, I can’t imagine my own momma thinking I’m too grown for help. Sorry you had it rough, doesn’t mean your mommas logic make it right.

[@Lynette_Shine]

👏🏾

[@fayluv6693]

Ain’t no way some grown kids of mine gonna be in my house messing up my house and telling me they’re not gonna clean it up and but I turn around and buy clothes for them. that has nothing to do with whether your parents, grandparents had the money or not from the hell how old are you? Do you even have teenagers or grown kids?

[@shunohh]

@@fayluv6693 then you’re a shitty parent. News flash, that’s the process of a teenager you’re willing to commit to if having said child. That’s how it works buddy. Don’t have kids if you can’t handle it.

[@MuseandherFeelings]

The mom keeps dismissing their feelings. It's the same relationship with my mom and why I left. The mom needs a lot of help and I hope she's able to heal

[@DesignedByMilah]

The mothers emotional stability and how she handles things laid the foundation for her older children’s troubles. They all recognize it which is nice. No fault or blame just healing

[@mikemiles7750]

Agreed

[@muvamiah1974]

The daughter was right, the mother is projecting. If you were abused and hadn’t healed and found out something happened to your child wouldn’t you both want to heal together? If it’s a generational curse would you both want to go to therapy and release. The mither said she hadn’t healed, which is why she allowed her daughter to go unhealed. But you as a mother know how it feels to go so long without the healing so you have to step up as the guardian and say this is what we are doing. Gotta start allowing kids to be kids, and not expect them to know what struggle feels like, who wants any child to have to think about when they’ll eat again.

[@muvamiah1974]

But I will say that clearly the entire family is available and willing to HEAL. I love this for them. Thanks Karamo. This reminds me of my issues of my mom because she never showed affection either. And I turned 20 something and I’m lashing out wondering why, but it was my inner child that just needed that real genuine hug and kiss. This came at the perfect time.

[@thephoenixrising4614]

As a parent.... it is YOUR responsibility to ensure that your child is provided with the ALL of the essentials that they need in life! It is YOUR responsibility to raise your children that YOU brought into this world. Stop telling your kids what you did to provide for them. That's YOUR job!

[@Exclxsiveskye]

THIS!! Its one thing to provide as the parent but are you emotionally available as a mother/father

[@geraldinewalker958]

My point was to make them aware of the hardship most black teens face. And I don’t know if y’all are parents… where i come from and who I come from BEING ABLE TO ALWAYS PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY IS SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT. I provide emotional support did you not listen to the entire show??? The only emotional response I struggle with is physical affection…hugs kisses and the such. I’m a work in progress 😊

[@geraldinewalker958]

I respect yalls opinions 😊

[@dayum_mi]

Once they reach a certain age and want to yell that they are grown and don’t have to listen or help around the house. Them grown ass children need to go be great elsewhere

[@geraldinewalker958]

@@dayum_mimy sentiments exactly 😊

[@lucky-girl444]

She doesn’t let her kids talk or express how they feel. Throughout this interview they barely got a chance to talk without her yelling, making comments, or intimidating them. That’s not okay.

[@lovingme974]

She let those children talk. They are acting entitled. You can tell she talks to them and sets proper boundaries. They're just smelling themselves.

[@Lyric-sd5tb]

I completely agree.

[@c.c.292]

​@@lovingme974 she did not she kept talking over them and she did not help her daughter and resent her for opening up to her. She ain't seeking professional help she's seeking her mother support. Her son barely talked too because she kept cutting him off her daughter was stiff the whole interview eyes empty because her mom rather insult her that comfort her...

[@Harrimoto]

@@c.c.292oh look a armchair psychologist …. Keep it going

[@Flustered_Potato]

@@HarrimotoThey didn’t diagnose anything by so they wouldn’t be considered an “armchair psychologist.” They’re just stating what they observed.

[@ajurotruphy6338]

The kids still have respect for their mother. No yelling or screaming from them that we tend to witness from most cases. Love is in this family.

[@redlove8599]

Exactly all of ppl saying they spoiled and entitled that’s not how spoiled and entitled kids act even her mom said herself they don’t talk to her bad it’s not direct disrespect

[@tayloralliease8013]

Not necessarily . Sometimes it's just out of fear . Out of fear of having no where to go or being physically harmed . Now if they exhibit this same behavior when they leave the nest that may be true.

[@Yaenaa]

Now I’m telling this to all future parents if y’all had a trauma PLEASE make sure that you healed them before having kids cause They don't need to have it in their conscience In addition to their traumas to themselves what can they do ? You are their only lair of life and their zero point! If you tell them "me too" they will no longer qualify you as an assured landmark…

[@Yaenaa]

Sorry for my bad English ***

[@user-hb1jw7qh4j]

I agree 100%

[@trachon123]

Unrealistic

[@chriskirksey9891]

"I'm a gentle parent, for the most part." We have a bad habit of misrepresenting what gentle parenting is. Hitting your child, regardless of how you did it or what you call it, is not gentle parenting. Gentle parenting is more of a mindset and a lifestyle, not necessarily something that you do to a kid per say. And it seems like gaslighting when the daughter told her that she was m0lested. She's saying "what am I supposed to do" instead of being supportive. Hopefully they can come together and heal cause these generational traumas are so persistent.

[@mermaidhev]

AT ALL!!!’

[@L1ghtsM1sa]

This is my family members and behind a lot of what the daughter is saying was made up-

[@hazzaplayz808]

I love your comment ❤❤

[@Beingoftheuniverse]

@@L1ghtsM1saso? What that gotta do with gentle parenting not being her parenting style for real..

[@MarvelousMarrah]

The way she talks to them, her demeanor, and her facial expressions were unacceptable. And saying your kids can come to you but saying you can’t help them in the same breath is crazy. Could’ve just hugged her and said it’s ok baby I got you.

[@zariahproffitt6500]

Honestly the mom didn’t let her children speak much at all. This was sad to watch. I can’t imagine how unheard they must constantly feel.

[@SVTKAP]

gave them so many opportunities to speak and it was bs tbh

[@mariemays5311]

I agree

[@courtney4808]

Disagree

[@musicbykg]

yup

[@KJay-ql3hq]

The way she gave her daughter that tissue but still said her peace is a representation of her as a mother. She’s not perfect but she loves her kids and they are not too far gone and disrespectful to her you can tell they were raised right

[@yorkshirerose49]

Yes, the tissue did it for me too!

[@geraldinewalker958]

Let me elaborate on the “disrespect”. Chores, Communication, and Curfew. My rules are simple, so t break them. Third times the charm though! Breaking the rules My son cussed at me once and my eldest daughter has never! They’ve moved with their Father and have always come back. They have never even raised a hand to me, even when I became physical. I’ve grown a lot with them. And we have all learned along the way. So far so good.

[@crystalstory2782]

The Tissue was the icing on the cake true Mother.

[@crazyfaithasia4614]

You did great. ❤​@@geraldinewalker958

[@dershaymcdonald5409]

No. The way she gave her the tissue was like “here now cry to yourself not me” that’s NOT a good mother at all. If you haven’t healed from a sexual assault DO NOT BRING A CHILD INTO THE WORLD. You unintentionally pass that trauma to your child and start a cycle of neglectful parenting

[@skypie5374]

I’m sorry but Trays voice at 6:49 caught me so off guard. Such a quiet innocent boy with the voice of a grown man. 😂

[@kendallmax311]

She may not be the perfect mother but in my eyes she’s a good mother,yes she has things to work on but who doesn’t

[@marathonbleu]

The bar is so low

[@jackiebennett6304]

Because unhealthy relationships are normal in the black community

[@Jay_Hass]

@@jackiebennett6304unhealthy relationships exist in any community it’s just broadcasted more it’s not that it’s normal.

[@JenniferPollard-hr6rx]

Nah she should have healed before having kids cause she avoiding her daughter trauma. She needs help

[@kendallmax311]

@@marathonbleu Boy you mfs are just so perfect on this here internet lol

[@Nesiadee]

Providing materially does not make up for emotional abandonment. I wish people would stop siding with parents just because they do their job and take good care of their kids. Those kids didn’t ask to be here. Emotional support, mutual respect, and understanding will make a “good kid” so much faster than a king sized bed.

[@kendallmax311]

Of course but there is so many parents out there who don’t provide those things for their children those that do should still be saluted for it no one is perfect but as long as you’re breathing there’s time to make change and you can see this mom wants to be better

[@Dexters.LaBOREatory]

Funny, everybodys a therapist looking at how everyone else is living, while simultaneously living a effed up life as a baby momma and a live-in boyfriend/husband that dont pay bills😅

[@death24314]

​@@kendallmax311 you don't get brownie points for being a parent. That's what you supposed to do. Those kids didn't ask to be here

[@asdfghjkl3003]

She's a wonderful parent. These kids are entitled, and I am saying this as an 18 year old.

[@dershaymcdonald5409]

@@asdfghjkl3003 as a 23 year old shit up and stop being a pick me child. Those kids are not entitled. Kids need more than basic care which is what she gave them and then turned around expecting them to be grateful for what they deserve…..all kids deserve basic care and shouldn’t have to thank you for it bc you as a parent bruh them into this world. They didn’t ask to be here so why should they thank you for being alive when that was the only job you had as a parent to keep your child alive and safe….

[@universe-ie2mk]

The mom is a problem. The daughter is right even tho she had the term mixed up. She hears but she doesnt listen. And that yelling is a problem too. Them kids are old enough to not be yelled at i dont care who she is to them.

[@ayuniaot]

I have a mom like this, it hurts every day to love her

[@Prince2vibes]

Real

[@angelacleveland75]

I'm so sorry.

[@black5170]

The daughter started off, not making any kind of sense she’s treating y’all like her older kids when y’all are grown, and the other two are toddlers

[@iiamhaaa3]

as being an older OLDER sister and having a younger sister, ive felt that replacement its not jealousy bout now you have to share even more of the affection which they said they arent even getting .

[@DesignedByMilah]

The older kids see that the younger toddlers are raised in a different emotional state with Mom. Not jealousy but an important distinction. The mother barely let them talk without some type of intimidation they couldn’t say it the way it needed to.

[@nubian77]

daughter seems mentally stunted or anxious.. she's a beautiful young lady but looks like she lacks confidence, she's so closed off and unable to communicate her thoughts well.

[@madelynmerle1766]

You missed everything if that was the loudest part to you

[@dligg413]

I know what she meant , she’s saying don’t exclude us we are your children as well.

[@coveredcovered20]

WHY IS SHE SCREAMING?

[@Savag.e]

I’m not on the mom’s side for this.

[@casandrastewart1732]

The sexual assault is a great example of generational trauma and curses. Moms right - she never learned how to help herself, only move on. The fact she can express she is no help with this is a everything, and how we break the curses

[@gotflava1]

Wait what? Because she hasnt healed she couldnt even show some decency and a shred of emotion when her daughter got violated? Is thi how women really think? This is what constitutes for good motherhood? She needs to show some sympathy at a vulnerable point in her daughters life!!! The daughter is looking for her mother to be "her" mother! If you aint ready for that, dont have children!!!

[@Instachoo]

@@gotflava1thank you !!!! And parents nowadays be asking oh why these generations be suicidal

[@redlove8599]

It doesn’t matter she shouldn’t have had kids if she ain’t worked on herself she could’ve stopped it from happening to her daughter period if she was healed and didn’t ignore the signs because it was hard

[@max_sch4462]

​@@gotflava1 I get it, but also she did apologize and offer her daughter to go to therapy etc...

[@malayaaa.b4382]

Its not about her at that moment if you child is telling you something happened to her the first thing you should do is take action TRY to help..she didn’t do that she dismissed her child cause she felt as if she wasnt no help,all she had to do was hug her child have her feel comfort

[@Grapeschase21]

She may be a good mom but she definitely doesn’t allow her kids to talk. Look at their body language it’s like they checked out while she kept yelling and asking questions.

[@KyRogers]

This is a human family for sure. None of them are perfect but you can see the love is there. I have no doubt that they are gonna break through so much generational trauma together. They all did well at taking accountability and communicating. They should be proud of themselves

[@thehoneyeffect]

Mummy loves them but shes in deep pain, fear and self loathing, she projects her anger on her kids. The kids need therapy too

[@Vidgamechx]

Mom is absolutely gorgeous! I sat quietly because i understood as a MOTHER the perspective of mom, AND the perspective of the daughter. I can see how mom can be abrasive, but the love is DEFINITELY there. The daughter needs to learn better communication. The son still has a ways to go, so imma let him be. I wish the BEST for this family. They are beautiful ❤

[@imhereforitall9218]

Mom is bat sh*t crazy and so are her kids. WTH does looks have to do with her mental stability? SMH. Shame on you Vidamechx. Do better. Don't add to the dysfunction.

[@JudahCub1981]

Mommie is Josephine Baker all over again… the features, the height… the build AND the spunk. Absolutely stunning…

[@imhereforitall9218]

So to be clear, like Josephine Baker you are saying the mom is a bisexual drug addict? @@JudahCub1981

[@MsBossy2UBustas]

As the video progerssed u can see the daughter was full of shit and tries to be a manipulator. Her n her mother don't get along g because the mother doesn't fall for it.

[@meghannanthony6200]

The daughter can communicate...the mom on the other hand, cannot. She literally proved the daughter's point...the fact that we can't see that speaks on something else

[@kinglywaves1474]

This is one of them episodes that we need to see the full episode because i feel like a lot of context is left out.

[@geraldinewalker958]

I’m here for answers… after watching I didn’t like how much of the content is missing. Almost ten minutes of explanation before I start yelling🤦🏽‍♀️

[@sixteeeeeen]

If she would go to the ends of the earth for her child, the least she could do was at least hold her daughter's hand or hug her when she said she was assaulted. These kind of people are so insufferable because they will never take accountability for the things they have done.

[@CJ-qh8uj]

mom needs therapy bad. the tone she takes and the control she tries to have over them is gross. instead of screamin at ur kids that You dont have the tools to support them cause of ur wounding GET HELP AND LEARN THE TOOLS TO SUPPORT THEM AND WORK TO HEAL instead of using it as an exuse! Material needs is not all a child needs. Glad u gave them food and shelter thats the bare minimum.

[@Exclxsiveskye]

BARE MINIMUM. Smh. Thats why so many people get into abuse relationships and don’t know better and whats bare minimum and what isnt. Generational trauma is real

[@geraldinewalker958]

My point was to make them aware of the hardship most black teens face. And I don’t know if y’all are parents… where i come from and who I come from BEING ABLE TO ALWAYS PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY IS SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT. My daughter HAD a 750 credit score at 18 and $2000 at 19 to jumpstart her path to adulthood and she foolishly swindled all away. Credit low and she still saving for a car. I’m noticing ppl are commenting on the yelling during the passionate moments. Have you never yelled at someone you love? Most times I choose silence…it’s a complete exaggeration that I yell all the time. Trust, I understand the perspective tho

[@L0v3_Y0urs3lf]

She proved her daughter’s point though…

[@carolharris5455]

Mom caused these problems herself she still hasn’t understood the balance between parenting and friendship with her kids. Pitiful and what the heck kind of reaction was that about her being violated turned it around for herself oh my goodness

[@MSKTLIZ]

I want my child to share with me everything that they feel comfortable sharing with me. It doesn’t matter if it makes me uncomfortable.

[@traceejohnson290]

That hug with her daughter brought me to tears. I really hope their relationship will get much better.

[@lizacastillo4665]

That was the first problem mama, when you said, "When I TELL him to do something..." We don't OWN our children, and sometimes us as parents forget that. They are human beings too and my grandmama always said "treat people as if you would wanna be treated" I stand by that!! If you don't wanna be disrespected and hit on, then don't disrespect your own children and hit on them!! That also includes others as well.

[@kcol3747]

Get your own house then

[@lizacastillo4665]

@@kcol3747 what you mean??

[@sebastiaotingao4042]

If you are a teenager and can't follow your parents rules. Get your own house.

[@Paofne]

she’s learning and so are they. i love it.

[@javonnemotley5980]

The day My child says mom ive been violated I know I'm going to prison as a person who had this done to me I wouldn't want my child to feel like I dismiss them but I understand her mom's on healing

[@geraldinewalker958]

That’s where truth came in for me. I remember that day vividly and that wasn’t on the show. I had her location, she’d broken curfew and now it’s 6am-8:30am I’m outside of where she is and I GET NO RESPONSE. Over 80 calls. She’s an adult at this time so kicking down doors bc she wants to get her groove on, would not be okay. When she finally calls me, it’s 9-930am. And she tells me she’s going back to sleep and her cousin will pick her up. I hear NOTHING else about this day or this random guy until a year later. The kicker it was another time and this was an ex boyfriend who visited my home several times. Even still.. my anger is bc I couldn’t SETTLE IT! True or NOT..ANYTHING FOR MY KIDS. ANYTHING

[@geraldinewalker958]

The lesson: love and support the healing process regardless of my feelings towards the thought process. As a Mother listen and love. The rest irrelevant

[@javonnemotley5980]

@@geraldinewalker958 same here I got a 22 year old daughter and she knows mama coming all she got to do Is point and it's over

[@chademonique228]

She may have some communication issues but I actually think She’s a great mom. I wish them better ❤❤

[@destinygraham8350]

As a 26 year old im forever greatful that my mom allows me to still live with her

[@queenxgemini]

Being a mother comes with having sympathy and care ik you went thru it but you could've have been a mother and human being and showed care

[@milanfernandez5743]

I Loved this Episode because Karamo showed her he understood her but also reminded her to Hug her children and held accountable that, Okay you didn’t have that, so give your children what you didn’t have!

[@AP-zi7wl]

they are well mannered kids and the mother is amazing it’s just an emotional and communication breakdown that’s effected them and their family dynamic

[@tonyy974]

I like how the mom is hyping her self up and even flipping her hair bragging about how she still lets them live with her and how good of a mother she was growing up. Ew. It’s giving narcissist. You had the kids!!! You should be giving them the best life possible. Period.

[@jassminejames210]

We've gotta do better as parents it's not her daughter's fault that her mother was violated and as a consequence has made unhealthy choices as a parent

[@sixteeeeeen]

It's actually so heartbreaking that the kids had to apologize for something that's not their fault. The mom is so dismissive of her kids.

[@sunnylamine]

Wow! What a beautiful and articulate family. To the mom I just want to say as a young adult I face one of my most vulnerable moments by calling my mother and telling her I was hooked on drugs. I expected her to rain down on me with biblical versus and judgment and just disgust and possibly to cut me off. But instead my mother was vulnerable back with me and explained to me that she had a past and she had done something similar and she was cut off from my grandparents for two years and I had no idea. That was the immediate catalyst for me to quit that drug cold-turkey and I have never turned back. And i'm almost doubled that age now. Please keep trying. Mom. I come from a family where affection was not shared a lot. So in my adulthood I have chosen to love on my family, hug them and courage them to hug each other and talk. God bless you all and you are an exemplary mom !

[@geraldinewalker958]

Thank you for your perspective ❤

[@wildfiregirl1556]

Facts!!

[@TIIRXCKS]

getting healing from your own mother & getting healing from a therapist are two different things…huge difference actually.

[@MsNikky1996]

Ppl are so used to being financially and materially neglected in our community that they mistake material stability for parental support and they are not the same things. Feeling emotionally safe around the parental figures you depend on does not have a price tag as it cannot be bought. No amount of “things” will replace emptiness in your heart that exists when you know your parents “love” you but have no true interest in KNOWING you and SEEING you. You’ll still always feel neglected. It just will be emotional rather than financial but it will hurt the same. And you can see on their faces that it definitely does hurt.

[@questionresearch8721]

There is hope in this. The daughter has a pretty good relationship with her mom. They can work through this. This young lady as she gets older will appreciate her mother more. Honestly, I can see the mother teaching her daughter alot too.

[@geraldinewalker958]

I appreciate your perception

[@questionresearch8721]

@@geraldinewalker958 It was brave of you to share your story.

[@user-qe8ld3cc2w]

She looks just like her mama so beautiful

[@RoseReadings]

The kid is so adorable and the mom is beautiful

[@SDP5230]

Believe me, the Mom thinks she is beautiful as well. That's patt of the problem that I see. Get over yourself.

[@blessedbeauty5411]

​​@@SDP5230What she thinks of herself is none of your bussiness.People are allowed to feel beautiful.If someone's self-esteem triggers you you have a problem.

[@imhereforitall9218]

And they are both nuts.

[@RoseReadings]

@@imhereforitall9218 why?

[@Me-independently]

I genuinely love this man! Karamo is amazing! Something about the end of this episode made my heart smile 😊

[@nomtikamjwana1140]

I love them so much❤Karamo you’re doing wonderful work and showing up for our community in a way that is much needed🌻

[@cassandrabowen7427]

In Barbados we will be in the house till 50, can never understand the US system. The mother needs to listen and see how they feel, either say leave for good and know the consequences or be more open minded and know you have to find a way to help. Hurt people hurt people. You will need these as you get older.

[@botaktatasumo]

This mother is a good provider. But she also needed to be a mom. Trauma is something that needs help with and THAT should be normalised. I can relate to the kids. I don't deny my mother has provided me with materialistic essentials, but affection goes a LONG way. A mother's affection surpasses many things in almost every situation ❤

[@SmileGodLovesU]

My parents are gone. Both recently passed back to back a year apart. Y'all better appreciate what you have. I'd give up everything I have just to get a hug from my mom.

[@Flustered_Potato]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, people don’t have good relationships with their parents. Some parents aren’t good people & abuse their kids. It’s really sad. I wish I had a good relationship with my folks.

[@scottrogue946]

No offense but your parents passing has nothing to do with someone else’s toxic parents. 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@adxd1002]

It’s hard to appreciate what you have when your 17 and being yelled at, but fairs

[@emilybenjamin1217]

Nothing to do with it

[@user-oq4kb8bt6y]

I can understand the mom AND kids but it’s the fact the mom doesn’t necessarily take ACCOUNTABILITY for things she’s done the same way as the kids !! Like she shuts them down rather then listen and understand idk if that made sense but yea 😭

[@leahmason824]

Omg Karamo why your show always trying to make me cry. That ending got me! Great advice/insight you gave this family. I think they got the start they needed to start healing and make good changes ❤

[@tincredible]

The boy moved out when he got into with the mom's ex. But if the man is the mom's ex, that means that that mama couldn't get along with him either. So, I'd love to know more details about that scenario.

[@geraldinewalker958]

Hi! I’m the Mom from the show. My son has a very deep voice and it just happened overnight. My ex was toxic in a few ways but this incident in particular, Duane responded loudly to a demand and my ex, the Adult overreacted. They almost went to blows over simple miscommunication. The adult wasn’t “adulting” and it caused friction in the home. I gave him a choice to wait it out with me until I secured a separate dwelling or move to his Dads. He chose to leave

[@cjohns1005]

I wouldve left too

[@tincredible]

@@geraldinewalker958 Hi. I figured. More often than folks are willing to admit, people view kids who aren't their bio kids as burdens who are "in the way". They tolerate them for the sake of being with the parent, but don't really care about the kids. Consequently, they lack the same patience that parents have. I'm glad you moved on from that ex. I'm glad you didn't put a man before your kids (more than we can say for a lot of moms). And I hope you and your son and daughter are in a better place. Peace and blessings...

[@kcol3747]

​@geraldinewalker958 you are a good mom 😊

[@rissa_d_artist9494]

i was in the audience for this ep! I'm the one with the cornrowssss

[@questionresearch8721]

What are your thoughts about the episode?

[@michaelamitchell1603]

share the tea fr

[@dorcepierre6106]

Lol

[@Typical_lesh]

My older brother is 32 and still lives home with mama. Very responsible and handles business and not that he doesn’t do anything or just spoiled, they understand each other. I’m lot younger and I live in another country. They love each other, but two adults in one home, when one should follow the other’s rules, it might be harder to live under one roof. This family is beautiful. The kids are still young. They’re teenagers. I hope they figure it out. And I hope she stop saying she is this and actually starts being that. To stop yelling.

[@tinatina1863]

I’m surprised anyone thinks this is a good mother. Her daughter needed her, and if she couldn’t help her, she shouldn’t have had kids. “End of the world for you” and “I’m not the one to help you” in the same breath is sickening. She just made it all about herself, “me me me.”

[@elainebennett7424]

In her voice, the depth of her devotion & love for her children is unmistakable, despite the underlying traces of pain & frustration. Her love for them knows no bounds, they are her universe. While she may grapple with unresolved personal challenges, her dedication as a mother shines through. I'm so sorry that her daughter was violated and it triggered something in her, they both need healing. She's a good mum and despite their issues, I think she raised them well❤

[@miloperrault2614]

This Mother is a terrible communicator. She doesn't provide a safe space for her adult children to open up without yelling.

[@Nominaze]

I don’t think the mom is a good communicator with her kids..Yes you were there for them financially, materialistically, & physically. But it seems as if they needed her more emotionally as younger children and they continuously shut down.

[@SunShine-vo8kj]

Right and she is all in the comments responding to what everyone is saying. Mom needs to get off youtube and go to thearpy💯

[@geraldinewalker958]

I like Karamo’s take on my parenting style and the lessons I need at this point in my life💜💜

[@dayshialynette6699]

Honestly y’all have a relationship not like my mom and I as mother and daughter. Y’all are the same people. Y’all may get into it but y’all don’t play about each other and anyone can get it 💜💜🔥🔥

[@michaelamitchell1603]

just give them space to express what they are feeling & don't always try to defend yourself against it. they should have a right to express how your parenting made them feel and you should be able to keep your composure.

[@adxd1002]

You go off really hard. Try not to get too defensive each and every time. They’re your kids after all they’re not about to lock you up.

[@monie2514]

At least she's there for them and I think they should appreciate that she didn't come out hostile on drugs or alcoholic she's a beautiful lady and she deserves her respect she did the best she can to raise these two and taking care of even two more younger children so I give her her🎉🎉🎉 props.

[@monharris28]

the mother is scary---she reminds me of how my mom used to yell and i was too afraid to really talk to her

[@MrsTashia95]

Her saying “you treat us like your bigger kids” like girl DUH! 😂

[@msprettycaramel0452]

I LOVED this! This is how you say your peace and love each other inspire of and begin to heal ❤

[@EBB505]

Oh, the clip I saw of this on Instagram made the mum look bad. How wrong I was! This is a good mum, she's strict and gone through some traumas but she loves those children

[@miekaxiii]

As a mom I can understand moms stance, kids need to realize how much we go threw as parents. It’s a lot. Also I feel like she’s so hurt at how much her daughter didn’t allow her to protect her that she doesn’t want to address what happened because the pain of not being able to protect her was the triggering thing, like she couldn’t protect herself. There’s still a lot to unpack and hopefully karamo got to talk with them more back stage

[@iiamhaaa3]

kids need to understand how much you go thru but at the same time they dont owe you anything you decided to have kids .

[@Exclxsiveskye]

@@iiamhaaa3exactly. They can know to understand but parents need to stop holding that over they kid head

[@miekaxiii]

@@iiamhaaa3 I agree with what you said, but this momma didn’t resent her kids. She just wants them to be safe, clean up after themselves and respect mom, that’s the only trade up she’s asking for, for all the sacrifice and love that she did her best to give. Every hair on your little heads we protect, we wouldn’t trade that for anything.. she still has 2 other toddlers she’s not complaining about because it’s not the taking care of her kids part it’s the disrespect after all she’s done to bring them to a place to be able to even fix they’re mouths at her to begin with.

[@iiamhaaa3]

@@miekaxiii and i get that part , all im saying is when mothers get to saying or even fathers how much they do for you its like you acting like we owe you and we dont. respect is earned not given at the end of the day. parents act beyond reckless then expect us to be greatful for what you did . not saying the mother in this situation did but thats how it be sometimes .

[@Beingoftheuniverse]

@@iiamhaaa3exactly!!

[@tiff7923]

This was beautiful ❤ good luck to the family from here on out. Praying for them to have better days!🙏🏽

[@Marssss444]

GOOD JOB MOMMM DAUGHTER N SON THIS MADE ME SMILE AT the end AWWWWW I hope they continue to grow

[@shynbryt11]

She told you she was SA, and you didn’t comfort her, or tell her it’s not her fault… Talking about you cannot help her and to seek help. She was seeking you to let you know what happened. The mother reaction was horrible!!

[@timirahigh1625]

She asked her did they need to go to counseling because she didn’t have the tools to help her and the daughter declined the extended help. Not only that the daughter invited the boy who molested her into their home multiple times

[@courtney4808]

Oh wow daughter said so her self her mother had tears in her eyes, lit a cigarette, and ask did she want counseling bcuz she was not equip to handle this situation. Im tired of ppl have all these crazy expectations from ppl. You better be lucky she try to compose her emotions with a cigarette and trying to stay strong while processing her child and her own thoughts. Glad she did not walk off or not say a thing or better yet something illegally

[@tessawood8244]

She has expectations 💯 they wanna act grown then do grown shit . They need to do what they told period .

[@Forit26]

Truth be told, those children are old enough to act better

[@NaturalistCorrie]

She is a good mom, a lot of children in this era would definitely think she is a bad mom. Children today want their way and not the right way, and thinks their mom are are supposed to be their friend… this mainly happens with single mothers. When strict fathers are home or present this usually happens a lot less

[@Mannymoe3]

Yeah she isn't a bad mom. I believe most mothers though, go wrong through not properly transitioning their kids into their teenage years. Moms find it hard to let go that their kid once wanted to be on their hip all the time, they were super dependent on her, they were super supportive, eager to please you, and all that good stuff but when that teenager comes it inevitably slows down. The mom is in shock and the kids start to feel like a stranger. I'm not mad at single mothers for this because they don't have anyone else to depend on most times. I believe men and women are equal in being selfless/sacrificing for their kids but men handle the mental toll of it A LOT better than women.

[@veen0610]

I'm 43 and would have not liked her as a mom lol. It has nothing to do with children of today. She's super aggressive for no reason. It would be hard to talk to someone like her.

[@user-ooop]

​@@Mannymoe3 If they handle it better than why do they keep leaving them?

[@Mannymoe3]

@@user-ooop speaking mostly about single fathers.

[@ClayMastah344]

You all seem to hate children.

[@Meiday5612]

She does everything to support them financially but she’s also neglected her daughter emotionally during a time that they need her affection

[@Sisterbling]

This was a beautiful case it brought tears to my eyes, you have a strong mother. I understand when you have been violated, back in the days it was not talked about but pushed behind closed doors and forgotten about. But in the minds of the person it’s happened to the weight of carrying this lays heavy on them. You have a great mother work together and start your healing, this will help you to also ensure the smaller children see a better unity within the family. Stay blessed 🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Businessbeyond_]

I'm halfway through the video and I can tell that she a good mama, them kids need to appreciate her more...

[@jeannietimberger2556]

This one of my favorite episodes! I can relate big-time

[@lorenzob19]

Despite her flaws that woman is the definition of a mother. She cares for her kids despite everything, you can see it in the little things she does like give her daughter a tissue. I am quite shocked at their ability to humble themselves and say that they did something wrong and find a way to be better. I think that’s what set them apart from others. I truly believe that they will be okay because we saw the healing happening right here. When the mom gave her daughter a hug, I felt the wound closing and a door opening to professional help to both of them. To anyone who’s hurting, believe that things like these can happen. Healing can happen, change can happen, and I truly hope the best for you.

[@devworlddaily]

she crushed her daughters soul and I dont feel like you addressed it even REMOTELY enough she started out ridiculing her daughter she victim blamed and shamed her daughter when she attacked her while simultaneously saying she will not be ridiculed when all her daughter said was “you listen but you dont hear” the hug she gave her daughter didnt feel genuine at all I think her mother is a narcissist its about perception for her how she is perceived as a parent by others her character did a complete 360 attacking her daughter and her daughter is NUMB to it which tells me she experiences it FREQUENTLY you didnt say even nearly enough for the daughter

[@PrettyUnique90]

My God the pain in this woman voice. She loves her children big and little.

[@andreacamille3918]

One day at a time momma ❤❤ you got this 🎯 wishing healing for this family 🥰

[@hoodooladiiiii9625]

I wish them all nothing but healing ❤️‍🩹 beautiful family🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@torry24]

She deserves all respect as a MOTHER! ❤

[@Naeee___.]

The mom pissed me off because NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SPOUSE TO BE THERE FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT IDC WHAT THE SITUATION IS YOU DER

[@shayvonbattle1464]

Telling your kid I can’t help you bc I didn’t help myself is why you shouldn’t have kids if you have worked through your trauma. If you’re child can’t come to their mother for help that’s fucked up.

[@shaym754]

She a good parent in my eyes, she just scared and want to make sure her kids to stray off

[@andrekelly3150]

She pushing them away in my eyes.