Stop oversharing and embarrassing yourself

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[@juliadastra]

🙏"regulate, elevate, graduate" needs to become a mantra for me!! I still struggle with waiting before reacting but like you say sometimes you need to not make it about you. To just be like "okay, cool, I understand." This was a good reminder today as well that sometimes being myself is not the best option lol, sometimes I need to just sit with what I'm feeling instead of impulsively acting. There is definitely a way to be yourself and validate yourself while still sharing parts of you with the world but I've not quite got a handle on it yet. It is a balance. Great video🧡

[@KellyStamps]

Once a manager at my first job said “we need to talk” and I thought I was getting fired, so I got ahead and said I didn't like it there anyway, I’m underpaid and slavery was abolished last time I checked. Turns out I was getting a significant raise 💀

[@julietijerina8176]

MERCH ALERT! I need "Regulate, Elevate, Graduate" on a dang t-shirt.

[@mccolk]

@juliaroseadastra @kellystamps Exactly! I think if we don't go out in the world with self-awareness and the ability to regulate our emotions we are creating a lot of unnecessary suffering for ourselves and also emotional labor for everyone we encounter (coworkers, boss, friends, partner, family etc).

[@abianapatton-toure8545]

Kelly, I fucking love you. Love the way the ad slid in, but also how beautiful you look speaking your piece

[@elanachan4014]

@@KellyStamps What do you think about oversharing in friendships or to your friends? Is that considered still insecure or vulnerable?

[@divinencounters]

I stopped oversharing and noticed I became more confident in making decisions because I’m not relying on other people’s opinions of me anymore

[@marieke.80]

This🙌 and it also gives you space to figure some things out and just work on your goals in your own pace. And if something doesn't work out it's oke because you didn't make a big deal out of it and tell everyone.

[@aliceam7566]

@@marieke.80 This because I used to overshare to someone that was really closed to me about things I wanted to achieve and they looked down on me. I no longer overshare and I feel more confident in the myself & things are working out more. They are mad that I don’t share much of anything with them tho😅

[@Kali_Yugahhhh]

I will try this out; thanks, kind soul 🫶✨✌️

[@Femmmfatale]

This!!!

[@CRJpod]

That part

[@therisashow]

“Don’t be yourself guys, lie a little bit.” This is gonna be my motto for the rest of this year.

[@KellyStamps]

LOL

[@JohnDaDong93]

I don’t think you necessarily have to lie. Instead, don’t tell people everything about yourselves, especially if no one is asking for it. Don’t ask, don’t tell. You just have to have a good sense on what information is good to share, knowing the importance of timing & when to share what, etc.

[@saputridewi3665]

Indeed girl

[@chandratownsend3891]

Everybody doesn't need to know everything about you.

[@desic3274]

I'm quite a ripe age, and it took me many years to learn not to be so open. My motto was that I've done nothing to be ashamed of, so why not be completely transparent. Wrong! My feelings are too tender for the motives of some folks. Now, I pull back, listen, and learn. So I don't lie, but I do omit a great deal.

[@INTERESTEDINFORMEDINSPIRED]

Not only does overstating give me the ick because the person is trying so hard to bond and to seem vulnerable which not everyone deserves your vulnerability, over sharing is also dangerous. I don’t know what people can do with the info I just gave them. I get uncomfortable when people try to be over familiar with me, like I am legit a stranger to you and Vice versa. There is no forcing a bond, you either vibe with someone or you don’t

[@KellyStamps]

THIS

[@moreanita8]

My alarm bells go off immediately when someone try’s to be over familiar or push the relationship at a faster pace than I’m comfortable with. Almost always their is a hidden agenda behind it.

[@INTERESTEDINFORMEDINSPIRED]

@@moreanita8 bingo!

[@milkbread5036]

@@moreanita8 I remember reading something in a psychology article that some people with malintent (not all) will intentionally share a private piece of info, so you give some info about yourself, and they use that against you later.

[@drebugsita]

That last line is one I am mentally noting to keep handy! "There is no forcing a bond..." is so very true, and if you try and force it or, like me just go along, it always bites you in the end. And why not use your time and energy towards real connections rather than just iffy ones. This last year has really taught me that. Let go of a bunch of a group of iffies that I had a long history with. Feel way better

[@sofia4586]

I won’t voluntarily share things about myself unless asked. The problem is I don’t know how to avoid answering certain questions. That’s when I overshare and regret it. Like “damn I said too much” lol

[@md773]

that’s my problem too - I think knowing how to keep things vague & skurt around the question is helpful. Kind of like how celebrities do in interviews when personal questions are asked lol

[@thenewclassic4]

You politely deflect. Say someone asks you "Is you and that other person dating" and you're not comfortable with answering it honestly, just say something like "I always get asked that. That's interesting because in this psychology book I read.." just subtly find a gateway to something else that's related without actually answering the question. Also people love talking about themselves so asking about them can pretty much guarantee that they'll leave the topic alone.

[@torimichelexo]

This literally haunts me. 😂😂😂 glad to know I am not alone.

[@marlak4203]

One of, if not the key, is to NOT be afraid to be looked at funny or whatever because it is more important to NOT tell your business to then have it used against you. So to keep yourself out of mess don't state too much in a nice way. And also, which can be harder to do, try to be aware of convo's to stay away from. Don't start them, unless you are comfortable being able to answer them, nor do you join in on them because you can sense it will go into things you don't want to talk about. Like with topics on certain family things, age, mates, etc. If your at work, go work. At school, go school. At home, go find something to do, pick at something, distract yourself so you are too busy to be involved in the conversation

[@StarAndTheBiziBand]

My go to deflection answer is just “no” no matter what the question is

[@soulspirationgoddess]

My issue in the past has been people being nosy as hell and trying to get information out of me and me feeling like I owe them a response. And then feeling exposed afterward. This happens to empathic people a lot. Now, I feel no need to share anything ESPECIALLY if they had no intentions on sharing their information. Boundaries are so important and when you have them, not only will you not share impulsively you won’t feel obligated to.

[@mamabird4360]

Omg yes!! And then the same people who pressed you for your information act weird or judgemental to you when you shared

[@wandiam6635]

@@mamabird4360 learning this lesson now. In my case the judgmental person will tell me the most unhinged, off the wall sh*t & expect a nonjudgmental response, then judge me for sharing something a fraction in comparison 🤨Going back to keeping those things to myself & my core 2 people who don’t pry to get things from me lol.

[@alisaa3999]

100%

[@minnie.-.l]

Same or if it’s the only way to get a conversation going even if it wasn’t special or interesting in the slightest. They just reply short answers.

[@carladossantos1142]

I went through the same! Learning about boundaries is part of the journey and so MAJOR, because pretty much everyone grew up in crappy environments and we do it without even realizing it's bad. Stay strong, ladies, and attract success with your growth! I'm on the same path! So much love from Portugal ❤

[@gabrianabrown16]

The title dragged me for filth but honestly I needed the reminder , thank you Professor Stamps♥️ you’re doing God’s work

[@ajohonly3721]

Haha haha 😂 so good.

[@demeterontheinternet]

Same

[@yourfavoriteoompaloompa139]

THIS

[@ladyjadelindia]

Also dragged me to filth 😂 I’ve been doing this wayyy to often. Gotta reel it in sis.

[@PotentialEn3rgy]

"Go forth and don't be yourself guys, lie a little bit." --Jesus

[@-natmac]

I became more private by cutting out the people who would try to draw things out of me that I wouldn’t have voluntarily shared lol. Noticing how much of their other friends drama I knew made me realize they were just using me for gossip to share with other people, it was never about knowing what’s going on with me for the sake of being a friend.

[@MsNiaBella]

Who brings gossip to you will gossip about you. Simple. Don’t participate.

[@seekpeaceandeunoia]

@@MsNiaBella your absolutely right and i learned this this year.

[@mommafoxxdiaries6509]

Yyyyessssss!! the ones who meet you the same day that claims you lack vulnerability and don’t care to connect …them trying to “pull it out” is an immediate sign they don’t mess with you on a real level learned from experience 💯

[@carladossantos1142]

Totally relate!!

[@IrinaVanRonkel]

I appreciate every blogger, who over shared on KZbin, spoke about things we do not naturally speak on daily basis, it saved my emotional wellbeing.

[@fremont111]

Oversharing on a blog is one thing, but oversharing in a random conversation with a stranger is another. People need to revisit what used to be called 'etiquette.' lol

[@PortraitofAsha]

So true.

[@Liz-ic6jb]

That's a different situation and subject where it is appropriate, because it's done with the intent to help others in a similar situation. This message is not about that.

[@glazesdecks]

You can also seek out a blog or leave the page if you’re not interested. Being overshared to is pretty involuntary

[@louera]

thank you for this❤ I sometimes comfortably overshare on social media so that I can let others know that they’re not the only ones going through it.

[@sarawawa8984]

I think you really hit it when you said that we need to learn how to self regulate. So many people over share expecting people to regulate for them, which is wild.

[@KellyStamps]

WILD INDEED

[@thatsodiesel]

Omg, this impacted me phew 😮‍💨😮‍💨👍🏽

[@user-ib2bt4ck7y]

Honesty is extremely important to me, so is vulnerability. I quite like strange and insecure people, they are human! and they teach me a lot about life. I will always, always, appreciate a warm, truthful weirdo over a cold, witholding person who thinks themselves superior to others. I also as a trauma survivor understand that regulating emotions is very difficult for some of us including people who are neurodivergent. I used to overshare tons online, I try not to anymore but sometimes i share pieces of my innermost self in hopes i can find people who understand. So no, Kelly Stamps. I cannot take this advice. Im happy with who i am, even if I'm embarassing.

[@blank1505]

Omgosh, this is the comment I was hoping to see…! 🌟 and thank you for reaching me a new term that helps me make sense of my self a bit as I too am a abuse survivor. 🫂 I feel like a lot of people like to agree with people they admire instead of questioning it and thinking for themselves, which i think is a bit important.

[@gigitijarain]

Well misery loves company. I am out

[@AutumnLeaves_011]

if you mean autism say autism not Nuerodivergent -an autistic person

[@correctandsexyaboutit]

​@@AutumnLeaves_011 autism isn't the only divergence in which people struggle to regulate emotions and social fluency.

[@Weeniehutnurse]

@@AutumnLeaves_011 there’s more than just autism when it comes to neurodivergence. Maybe try not to be a smart ass. - Another Neurodivergent Person

[@eiradenise7494]

This video hit home. I used to be an oversharer. I’m not that much of one anymore. And everytime I did I knew it came from a place of wanting validation. I began to ask myself, “What other person can validate you better than yourself?” You gotta live for you and not let everyone be in your business cuz the same people you over share with today out of insecurity and need for validation may be the same person that blocks your blessings tomorrow.

[@Jerrilynrene]

You should only share your story with people who've earned the right to hear it. That certainly isn't EVERYONE, but thinking this way made me feel so much better and less guilty about being so private.

[@letrice2892]

I agree it's best to keep things private at work ppl didn't know for the first two yrs of working there that I had a child lol when I was on social media no one knew I was in a relationship for yrs bcuz I never mentioned him not that I was ashamed of my relationship it was simply not needed for me to share that with strangers .

[@Jerrilynrene]

@@letrice2892 Haha! I absolutely LOVE that! More people more problems.

[@XiomaraThaGoddessMeow]

Was NOT expecting that example of oversharing, but… sigh… judging by how society is rolling, nowadays…. I’m not shocked it happened.

[@EIonMusk1]

europe in tears

[@sonyas3098]

I think this goes hand in hand with letting go of the feeling like you always need to explain yourself. Be confident in your actions and decisions and let them speak for themselves. Other people don’t need to give you permission!

[@fwowncwown]

There is a difference between communicating with somebody in earnest and telling them every thought or feeling you have.

[@Alicialaucirica]

Recently came back to an old job after experiencing many hardships. I was expecting everyone to pry into my life and ask a million questions, but they didn't. And I'm so grateful they didn't because I was actually ready to overshare and expose myself. I'm just here to work.

[@ruksarharoon7278]

As women we think that oversharing will get people to like us especially men i made that mistake once. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I attracted a vulenrable covert narcissist who wouldnt leave me for a second. Its been pure HELL with this man. And thanks to having met him he has toughened me up. Now i keep my life private. And can easily spot a narcissit if i ever come across another one again. Most men are narcs so beware ladies.

[@alexrice1870]

Amen, sister. I undershare so much that people online assume I'm a man. That's how little I give.

[@KellyStamps]

The way it should be! I would use a fake name online if I could do it all over again. But it would have gotten out eventually lol.

[@Liz-ic6jb]

😄

[@carladossantos1142]

Yep, that's called mystery, something that most have forgotten about!

[@mory1084]

​@@KellyStampsi also do the same

[@imdivyamenon]

there's a fine line between being authentic and sharing every single thought that comes straight out of the noggin. But what do I know - I'm fiercely private. I have the opposite problem

[@randic.3662]

This is the best advice wrapped in comedy. So true !! “Don’t be yourself, lie a little bit” 😂Sometime the truth is too much & we need to keep it ourselves b/c tmi 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@KellyStamps]

LOL

[@celanimaddr]

8:53 "You can't be fully 100% yourself to succeed in this life" Damn. Well I think I'll take that to heart.

[@jazlynntoussaint11]

this reminds me of this older man who tried to return some diapers at my store and proceeded to tell me that he had prostate surgery and he didn’t leak afterwards 🤢

[@KellyStamps]

OH

[@kant12]

One positive about over sharing is that man told you really early that he's a weird creep.

[@AccidentalWarrior144]

I have a feeling this is aimed at me. Going from oversharing to not speaking for months at a time. Being panicky. Autism and ptsd are not my friends. They push away any human connection. Weirdness is misread as insecure 😢 Thanks as always. Edit: I thought you were going to say be yourself! 😅😂 Lmao.

[@KellyStamps]

Be yourself too early on if you want to lose a gf/bf and a job 😂😂

[@thatsodiesel]

Over sharing is okay if it has an intent to help someone else. That’s what we call a testimony which is used to helps someone else on their path. If oversharing is from a place of fear, anxiety or people pleasing. That’s when you know you want to reevaluate how you are interacting that day. Or your intent. Hope that helps!

[@voxoftenthousand]

I'm AuDHD too and I wouldn't blame it on your disability. That's something that can't be helped. Neurotypical people communicate/view certain things very differently than we tend to 🤍 there's nothing wrong with you.

[@micahall9538]

I hear you, thank you for sharing your comment. Lol nobody told me I was a weirdo found out the hard way.

[@AccidentalWarrior144]

@@micahall9538 sorry to hear that. You're not a weirdo, just different. I am sick of NTs calling us freaks.

[@thechrisverhoeven]

You're so right about making things way bigger than they actually are. I have a bit of a weird voice and I always thought that everybody noticed it and would think weird about it. And in reality, nobody really cares. Once I noticed that, it made it a lot easier for me.

[@KellyStamps]

Well now I have to go to your channel to listen to it! Jk lol. I’m sure it’s fine but I will check it out.

[@thechrisverhoeven]

@@KellyStamps ☺️

[@TheTiredhermit]

I overshared at work & it back fired horribly 💀

[@KellyStamps]

oop

[@Emily-gp3ox]

You are on to something!! I think Brene Brown refers to oversharing as a smash and grab attempt at connection, or even a shield. Because it’s so sudden and unpredictable, oversharing does not have an actual foundation of trust and respect. It’s not true vulnerability, it’s a defense mechanism.

[@celia-cj5py]

he's an exhibitionist. the point is to make you uncomfortable. be careful around strangers

[@shika3890]

I overshare when I try to keep conversations going

[@feliznavidad6958]

I would have walked away from that guy. Guys who get sexual on you immediately don't respect you

[@sunnni_]

I am currently undergoing shutting up & just being secured in myself. My friend’s now don’t know much about me and I am glad and vice versa. I felt in the past I overshared because I wanted to connect and feel like someone cared (to myself growing up) and then I realized, why am I doing? What do I gain? So I’m happy that this came on my feed because I know God be wanting me to hush

[@rachelr.5171]

When I’m anxious, I overshare without thinking. Then I go home and obsess over the oversharing because it’s so embarrassing! I really need to get a handle on this with some breathing exercises or something. Or maybe I’ll just start running away from strangers trying to talk to me because I don’t know how to act lol.

[@turquoiselizzie6874]

Oh maybe this will work but write your thoughts in a journal or record yourself speaking your mind as if you are having a conversation with someone but don't send them to anyone delete if necessary I believe that should help.

[@jmonae9999]

Something that might help is that those people are probably in their head just as much or not even paying you as much attention as your mind will tell you. It’s a fearful mind feasting on anything you do or say fr so maybe look more into how to manage those fears

[@veronicalagor4771]

​@@turquoiselizzie6874It doesn't help you learn what is appropriate to share or not, which I think is a big part of the issue. If they're anything like me, they oscillate between wanting to build bonds with others (and failing due to learning an incorrect playbook) and getting frustrated with a lack of positive results and reverting to being a recluse.

[@arianecelestine5620]

Literally my entire existence 😅

[@arianecelestine5620]

@@turquoiselizzie6874 that’s a very good idea 👍

[@Alexis-ec9cl]

I used to overshare the most when I drank. No longer drink-- now I only share whats necessary which is not much. I keep a lot to myself which makes me feel more mentally at peace. You don't have to tell everyone everything. Not even family. I keep the majority of my life to myself. I'm not lying or hiding, I just don't find it necessary to tell every little thing going on in my life with people. I also barely post or share on social media. I am taking the next 6 months off posting. No one has to know what's going on with me. It's no one's business.

[@marleyite]

Alexis 22 I think most folks over share when they drink and I believe you are at your realest when you have imbibed.

[@nathanieltamayo7677]

"Don't be yourself, leave that shit at home." LOL

[@lifegoeson1007]

I agree, especially at work, and even to families members, heck to everyone. People are nosey and feel entitled, most of the time, they should mind their business and you shouldn’t overshare

[@correctandsexyaboutit]

For real. People are so used to putting their entire lives online that they seem to forget that some things are nobody's business. (Nice icon btw *wicked DP bass intro*)

[@lifegoeson1007]

@@correctandsexyaboutit not just online, in person also but, I agree I like your pfp also :)

[@graycat7704]

Okay imma be honest and I’ve been in both spectrums. Now a days I share things about my self but don’t do it unless I’m asked and I do because I want to. I don’t care and if people wanna judge so be it. I’m perfectly fine by myself and don’t want surface level people in my life. If you get it, you get it, if you don’t, you don’t.

[@sakura.8138]

I'm a very private person and i hate when people overshare especially when we don't even know each other well.

[@glovefox]

When I stopped oversharing, it stopped the opinionated ppl and humble braggers in my life from feeding off of my words for their own satisfaction. I realized quickly after that they don't really have much else to talk about and we never really talk anymore - its been so peaceful since and I'm grateful I finally grew out of it.

[@RosaDaniello]

I can't stress enough how changing your circle can help you elevate your life. I really don't understand when people say they're scared to be alone because I'm like you're the best company you can have??? Why would you stay with people who aren't adding anything to your life and all of your conversations sound like small talk or are just shallow. You could literally be with someone else (or by yourself!) and have this and much more. It's not easy to learn to be ok with yourself and by yourself but that's the point: the moment you realize it doesn't come as easy it means you DO have some work to do. But working on yourself is always worth it, it's not your responsibility to make other ppl feel better and it's not their responsibility to make YOU feel validated. You're powerful enough to own your insecurities and strengths.

[@Ohana9999]

Omg Rosa you're here literally was just watching you, what a full-circle moment haha😂 Keep up the good work and have a nice day!!!

[@RosaDaniello]

@@Ohana9999 omg this is so sweet and unreal lol I’m glad we follow the same people 😂

[@graycat7704]

Well if your alone all your life and that’s all you’ve known then yeah life is sad. Your not changing then.

[@redstickham6394]

I think the more people you bring into your life the more complicated it becomes.

[@norse_cat]

It’s sadly due to social anxiety in my case but I’ve gotta get that under control. Oversharing and people pleasing have never led to good things.

[@micahall9538]

I see both sides, people are uncomfortable about having deep conversations. I enjoy intimate conversations and people who are very comfortable with themselves and their insecurities.

[@swearbearco]

i found out recently that most people in my life didn't even know that my dad died when i was little. They just assumed he wasn't in the picture. I'm the type of person that if people don't ask I don't say anything but if they do then I'm an open book.

[@mpho_lephuthi]

What do you mean embarrassing yourself....your truth is your truth whether good or bad

[@redzin8818]

The oversharing should be relegated to the right people. Knowing who those people are is a gift. 🙂🌱

[@artsumeshae]

Reminds me of keeping a lil bit of mystery, esp in relationships. I think we find someone we're so connected to and then project ourselves onto them. But they're still their own person and don't know the inner workings of your brain. I vibe with what you're saying, its being intentional with what your share and when you're vulnerable

[@giancarlojacobs9982]

We are definitely in an era of ppl thinking that their non-worked on flaws and toxicities are cute, quirky and endearing when they are anything but.

[@rosecaruso6487]

"If someone with an anxious attaching is texting me more and more...You can't control yourself, it's embarrassing." It is definitely such a vital lesson to learn this. It is so important to gain self-awareness of how unregulated and embarrassing this behavior or reaction is - it can also be controlling and damaging to your partner. Extreme anxious compulsions can be reflective of lacking insight into healthy relationship dynamics, exposure to mostly dysfunctional relationship dynamics, and lack of self-awareness, self control, or both. It often takes being subjected to this kind of behavior to realize it in yourself. It is so important to recognize this as a compulsive behavior that is disrespecting both you and the other person. It's so important to be honest with yourself if you struggle with acting on compulsions or need excessive reassurance based on anxieties in a relationship. I think a lot of the time people who display anxious attachments are truly not aware of how hurtful their actions are. Anxiously attached people must recognize that these are dysfunctional behaviors that are equally as unhealthy and harmful as avoidant/dismissive behaviors

[@Angelica-sq9lh]

As someone who had dysfunctional attachment, yes, people with anxious attachment feel how hurtful they are with other people. Most of the times, they even close themselves to protect others of themselves (anxious attachment is focused on the exterior, while avoidant is on the interior). It's hard, but we just have to know what we need in a relationship, they focus on those who give it to you and are willing to be at your side when you're yourself.

[@jmonae9999]

Thank you for this

[@raylubin]

Confidence comes from proof of concept. Step outside of your comfort zone and use the successes from those moments as proof/evidence that you can succeed and you will become confident

[@veronicalagor4771]

What happens if you fail the vast majority of the times you do step out of your comfort zone?

[@martha-vl1zt]

Felt this!!! This is what I've been doing, also as a sensitive person, and recently got a lot of people telling me I'm closed off or not vulnerable enough. It has come with the wave of everyone oversharing on social medias (e.g., tiktok) and the portayal of 'being yourself' as being completely open with everyone. No. Self-regulation is healthy and keeps me safe and successful in my little world! Not everyone needs to know everything, leave it at home

[@imaraoctavia]

I honestly am going to overshare a bit but I got kicked out and my first thought was to make a TikTok series about that to hopefully get help, but I felt like it was degrading to myself and probably wouldn’t help my life situation

[@KellyStamps]

If we had dorms I’d like you sleep there 🥺🎀✨

[@KellyStamps]

Let lol

[@RayvenMichelle]

GURL!!! That opening story! 😱Totally reminds me of what happened to me 3 days ago... I was sitting at a bar, minding my business, and this man walked up to me and said "I LOVE BBWs." I was like "WHHHHAAAAATTTTT?" I can't even measure the amount of audacity some men have but I need these types of men to leave us alone!!! Anyhoo, THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO, Kelly!!! 😀 And yes, "Don't be yourself. LEAVE THAT ISH AT HOME!" 🤣

[@KellyStamps]

DRAKE SAID I LIKE MY GIRLS BBW

[@Jasmine-uu2xo]

I was walking past these two guys and one said it stood for big black women. He made sure to make eye contact with me and say that out loud as the only black woman walking by (I'm not big but that's incorrect meaning and just weird to act like that in public....I hate people so much.)

[@RayvenMichelle]

@@Jasmine-uu2xo I’m so sorry that happened to you, Jasmine. I don’t know what’s wrong with some people.

[@RayvenMichelle]

@@KellyStamps 😂😂😂 I can NOT with you, Professor Stamps! 😂😂😂

[@jaleesa00]

Idk about this. I think it's hit or miss but one should be conscious of it. I have been a bystander and over heard people overshare about their health, anxiety, insecurities in how they're dressed and ppl can be receptive since it might be taboo to share but the recipient can relate so it creates an initial bond. I have seen it time and time again where people are 'oversharing' in a public space to eachother only to exclude any one they deem not worthy to enter the conversation. I think it might be a tactic sometimes more than an insecurity but if there is a pattern, yes i can definitely see your point.

[@dejachaniah]

I love this, so true! I’ve started to have better boundaries the last few years and it’s changed the game! Of course, I’m still vulnerable but only to those I love and trust in appropriate ways. I used to think I had to be vulnerable with everyone because I was “deep” lol NO. Now, I indulge in small talk to socialize and my privacy is protected.

[@JeremyM]

based on the title i’m assuming this will be extremely good advice, but unfortunately a large part of my brain loves to sabotage itself and it might not heed your warning. however i am still going to listen and hope for the best!

[@ChimereTrielle]

Yes, I used to overshare a lot when I was younger and boy did it work against me. Now you can't even get me to talk about anything lol

[@quinnvu5692]

I don’t know about this one. It’s just a personal opinion so to each their own. It just seems like the end effect of Kelly’s advice is 1) don’t be yourself too much 2) treat friends/relationships like they’re disposable but 3) it’s ok when a man cancels on you because his job is important, so minimize your own needs. (It’s always women/femme who have to minimize their needs, and that’s what puts the system in systemic issues). The effect of all of it seems to be minimize yourself and it sounds like in every way you end up alone. So I don’t know about this one. It’s okay to be alone and reflect, but I wouldn’t want to ruminate alone at home as a default, would rather have friends that never feel like either of us is too much, and romantic relationships that value me without me having to make excuses for them. I have fulfilling relationships because I don’t lie to myself or others; but I guess again to each their own! Good luck!

[@sophiaisabelle01]

Oversharing meant that you're really putting yourself out there, which not a lot of people can do. Anyway, great video. Keep up the good work.

[@khaoulad5076]

a coworker asked me how much I have in my savings and I answered ( luckily I didn’t give them an accurate number) BUT STIIL, I didn’t even need to answer that question. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@KeeshiaPie]

Amen girl! Speak the TRUTH! ( And thanks for the reminder. ) - I agree, oversharing stems from the need to feel validated. You don't need that from other people if you've got J word. People who get the privilege to know you (the general you not Kelly specifically, although that is a major privilege) are the ones to take the time to get to know you. That passing of time while getting to know someone is the best way to vet out those crazies EVERYWHERE. People try to exploit others. You gotta protect yourself, and that's something I wish I knew before 25. Would have saved me a lot of grief...

[@mallew32]

This is an amazing reminder, especially in professional settings like interviews. I am these days trying to share only what fits my narrative and what speaks to my qualifications for the job. LOL, I really use to be acting like a whole clown and doing WAY too much over sharing about prior roles during my interviews. Thanks for the reminder Professor Stamps!

[@janebee265]

I have kept this rule with myself of "authenticity" and when I tell you it has held me back so much! I really need to go outside and practice making shit up

[@laughingGirl1]

It’s not even 11 o clock yet!! 😂

[@TheTroyTate]

Hey I think you’re very beautiful… and I’m circumcised 😎☝️

[@bornaraven]

*scribbles note* “Don’t. Share. Intimate. Details. Before. Fast. Food. Restaurants. Serve. Lunch.”

[@SpencerSinclair98]

Girl YES!!! Thank you for glorifying the Lord's name and sharing your confidence in in HIM- the King of ALL kings.

[@HoneyBunRoad]

I take sunday early morning walks & just ramble to myself 😂😂 that way I’m not tempted to share anything about myself

[@AngelaGDiaz-ln1kk]

The other side of this is, when you don't have the need to be validated by others you can also share with others without having fear of being judged. If you share nothing, even wuth new people, you can end isolated

[@courtneypuryear4217]

You are the only content creator, in whom I listen to the actual sponsorship. You are great at advertising.

[@RAJOHN-ke7mc]

My co worker overshared some drama about her colleague. My response is always "oh and uh huh I just can't be bothered

[@stephanieb663]

people be trying to trauma bond, its like, bro i'm at work, why are you telling me your husband beats you, tell the police!!!

[@mindshiftmami]

She is talking about the TIMING of over sharing y’all!! Don’t lose the importance of the main messaging 😉😊

[@faeriesdollhouse]

my biggest flaw is oversharing 😭 i don’t have any of my own secret and i live in shame. HOW DO I CHANGE

[@Ryleigh-rui]

Fellow oversharer here still recovering tho. First thing that I did is avoid sharing too much information about my life, It's hard at first I get it but you will eventually find peace with it. It's for your own good, yes you can share some info but don't tell them MUCH. Also, even the closest friends can be snitch please keep this in mind

[@shawnwithachance123]

i am generally a private person and only share what i want, however, i can have the tendency to overshare with loved ones/close friends. i loved this video!!!

[@CrazyPaine]

I have been working out as of lately and it been helping me mentally and emotionally. Slowly but surely I'm getting there.

[@tallasianchick]

As a sex coach, this is something I need to work on with this one client. He keeps focusing on the past, when coaches work on the present and the future! And I just sat there listening and not talking. I noticed a pattern that he puts all the blame on his partners, even noticing him changing his story. When I pointed it out, he was speechless. It was a breakthrough moment for him and I got paid my $200

[@KellyStamps]

You better go to Eataly with that $200. I bet they have some good clientele

[@tallasianchick]

@@KellyStamps i don't think we have an eataly here in san francisco...

[@Alicia-vq8jg]

@@KellyStamps is eataly the same as it is in Toronto it’s like a random restaurant kind of fancy whole foods Italy vibe in Toronto

[@EverintheRising]

The irony of oversharing in a video about oversharing.

[@charmedprince]

I overshare to see how people become interested about my life, just gauging whether or not I should pursue writing my autobiography or not. 👄

[@charmedprince]

Edit: *how much people become

[@babyiamhome]

😂😂😂😂

[@helixjac2394]

Own your insecurity, something I've learned about my body. One thing to remember, no matter what my body looks like, I will always love my body regardless of what it looks like. I will always own every aspect of it no matter what it looks like!

[@Leelz247]

That guy didn't overshare, he borderline sexually harassed you.

[@boomeradley8748]

i think we should normalize oversharing. it helps decrease stigma around insecurities no one is brave enough to talk about and can help ppl relate to each other / feel less alone. although i'm learning "too much" vulnerability can make you... vulnerable.. on a level that can threaten your safety so i gotta work on that.... it's hard to know where the lines of vulnerability, authenticity, sharing and "oversharing" are.

[@lukefisch9483]

Sounds like u may be due for a referral to the privacy video

[@alego8072]

It's just a boundary issue. 1. Decide: Priority is protecting oneself from others (mentality, physically, spiritually, fiscally are examples)

[@micahall9538]

Yes! Where do you draw the line? I agree.

[@Momo-po5tn]

Absolutely not normalize oversharing. Karen at the office no i dont want to hear about your ex husbands infidelity im here to work 😩

[@veronicalagor4771]

​@@Momo-po5tnI don't think anyone is advocating for oversharing in a professional environment

[@antoniopalmiero6761]

People is like "i don't do that!" And you can found everything about that person instagram, their lies, goal, ambitions, friend, family, the party of sabrina everything!

[@Kam_i_]

I have so much anxiety around the fact that I can’t regulate my emotions well. You kind of just have to accept where you are emotionally at first. It’s not “okay to be toxic,” but being upset with yourself for your shortcomings only makes it worse

[@cameliamiller4140]

❤❤❤ I have spots on my legs from having chicken poxs at 11 years old. Its my biggest insecurity and because of that i don't wear shorts or dresses in public even tho i really like them. Im working on that😢

[@KellyStamps]

People ask all the time about my dark spots and I’ve gotten past it after wasting $$ at thr dermatologist. It just comes back. I just remember that I’m attractive thank goodness and I have a roof over my head and not having rockets shot at me. That was dramatic but lots to be grateful for 😂

[@prototypesha]

This comment section is golden and so is this video. Thank you, I needed this today.

[@Sarah-vi4cx]

We need to bring back shame 😂

[@girlbye4522]

Lmao ikr😂

[@patipetals]

Yes ! Another outstanding class ! Regulate your emotions. I am here for it 💋 Love you Kelly

[@e.l.2734]

Came for the title, stayed for the awesomeness, subbed for the J-Word. God bless you greatly for not being ashamed of Him.

[@fernthaisetthawatkul5569]

yes Jesus saves 🙏

[@e.l.2734]

@@fernthaisetthawatkul5569 🙏

[@DrCalyn]

Professor Stamps, we require a follow up exam solely on when people overASK, specifically questions on visible illness. (Trigger warning: “overshare” incoming. Nothing new to the world though.) As someone with visible SH scars, I can get the “artist pass”. However, most days I cover them due to the sea of public stares and questions (queue ✨intrigue✨). My pencil is ready for the pop quiz.

[@15minutestoread97]

I really like this idea of " too secret no one can read you, too out there no one can decipher you" can be tricky to find a balance, social media is pretty f new to humans. so yeah, just try to find the balance.

[@amethystlake]

Love this video!!! I needed this!! Lately I’ve overstated terribly and it has got me into a situation where people have used it against me. Years ago I thought oversharing was just being human, but lately I’ve realised why I do this and that I need to regulate my emotions better. Can’t wait now to work on myself and get my emotions in check. I love the honesty this video gives. Cannot be dealing with people judging my life anymore. Cannot judge when they no longer know 🙌🏻

[@liz.xtraaa]

😱 she proclaimed Jesus! That's amazing 🥳🥳 P.s I'mma be sticking around for a loong time

[@lucy_eliza]

Im a master oversharer, which I’m sure comes off as cringe and embarrassing… trying to work on it lmao

[@Iveemeek]

This is the talks we need to hear, literally leave that shit at home

[@KellyStamps]

LOCK IT UP IN A BOX AT HOME

[@EW_Studios]

I have definitely overcome the overstating bug 🙌🏽 took me ten years 😂😂😂 but I’m here and not yet 30

[@sa.5400]

Talk about the incredible timing you *inserted sponsorship* that was mastery 101, I digress, not needing validation is also knowing how to be alone, and comes from self knowledge and a lot of other things including isolation at times. You are absolutely correct, freaking out is childish and denotes low EQ. A LOT don't know how to do that due to lack of accountability and responsibility towards oneself. In the past, a lot of relationships were used to navigate the world and to be used as a tool to help themselves with, whether platonic or not. However, a lot of people are no longer accepting of that, and the majority, attachment styles or socioeconomic backgrounds or not simply haven't gained that skill. Great video!

[@jessicaribeiro8928]

Things flow better when I act mysterious

[@americangirlfilms]

Finally! Another video about privacy to pin on all my socials for the next two years!!

[@jumisjam]

agreed!! I used to be tellin everyone my moves but now I end up keeping it to myself until i for sure get the results! It helped me be more confident about my decisions

[@Dylangino]

working on fixing an anxious attachment style. I know I have a lot to bring to the table but don't believe it when people value me and I need constant validation...which is so not attractive.

[@christian02183]

she has such a unique personality, funny asf😂

[@peachesandpoets]

I need this reminder like every month. You're everything.