Kerry Washington on Finding Out Her Parents Used A Sperm Donor | OWN Spotlight | OWN

Kerry Washington shares the story of when she learned her parents used a sperm donor and how it strengthened her love for her parents. For more on OWN Spotlight visit www.oprah.com/...
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Kerry Washington on Finding Out Her Parents Used A Sperm Donor | OWN Spotlight | OWN
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[@moodyjudy707]

My cousins father has so many children by different women, that one day a man at the corner store tried to hook up with her and she said “no, I’m good, you look just like my daddy and laughed. His response was “what’s his name” she said his full name and at that moment they realized they are siblings. It’s crazy to think that they could’ve hooked up and wouldn’t have known they were related. It’s important to know your biological history for reasons like that. Also for medical/health reasons.

[@Msladyrae92]

The waters are muddy when you’re a descendant of chattel slavery. We were sold off many times so in present day we are probably distantly related to many ppl we don’t even know.

[@Connie-sx7nz]

My father was the same way, doing his best to repopulate the entire country all on his own. My younger brother and I (3 years younger) were introduced to one of our half brothers by his mother when we were both teenagers. At the time we lived on a small Caribbean island and his mother said she wanted him to meet all of his half sisters that she was aware of to avoid any potential mishaps. Apparently he was a year younger than me but a year older than my brother 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@amberjohnson]

🤢

[@JesusLovesEVERYTHING]

One time a guy tried to talk to me, he seemed okay until i gotta whiff of his cologne.. same stuff my dad been wearing since the 90s, no thank you. The thought of it made me gag honestly

[@faebalina7786]

This is really disturbing 🤢🤮 Those men should do jail time

[@haute03]

Kerry is very emotionally intelligent. Bless her and her family.

[@zcam7939]

What the hell does that mean?

[@AlkalineInsides]

@@zcam7939it means they understand others emotions around them. And know how to be tactful in responding to how others feel. Understanding a situation beyond themselves.

[@zcam7939]

@@AlkalineInsides that's not this so-called emotion intelligence garbage y'all made up. It's called empathy. No such thing as emotional intelligence.

[@kiasha5273]

Google: Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

[@zcam7939]

@@kiasha5273 Everything you typed still falls under empathy. 😆😆😆 nice try though

[@beautybeads7285]

That last line though; "My loved for my parents is so much deeper in truth than it ever was before this revelation."

[@achatwithgoitse]

It’s amazing. I think it’s her realizing they intentionally chose to have her.

[@ssbell2011jcsu]

She seemed to handle this situation with such grace. Kudos to her!

[@lindandaba525]

Oh what a story. The timing couldn’t have been better, she’s more emotionally mature & understanding & more appreciating now than if they had to tell her earlier . God bless her & her family 🙏🏽❤️

[@shirlsshirls8594]

Her parents never planned on telling her smh God bless her for being so loving and understanding.

[@nattybumpkins1]

I love Kerry she is beautiful inside and out. So strong. God bless her and her family. 😊

[@kinnarda4technology]

Kerry response to her father was priceless. Her comment came from a heart of excellence.

[@rebels42wynn83]

I can relate to her. My grandparents (adoptive) had told me about my biological father. But my mother didn't have the guts to tell me who he was.

[@juicysmith38235]

I have a family member who found out their father wasn't biological in his late 80's. His parents are gone, so we do not know who is father was or why this occurred. Heartbreaking 💔 so glad she got her answers

[@Laniece4u2]

Was he also a product of a sperm donor or the mother had another?

[@firouz256]

By loving him, she made herself so much more at ease! Love is a choice!

[@gwendolynbrown1355]

Learning the truth actually released freedom for her Dad. I bet the weight of the world is off his shoulder now. 😊

[@phyllispierce9453]

Exactly!

[@jones2277]

Not necessarily

[@montraedavis2201]

What a story. Definitely on my book list. Thank you for telling a real story. Imagine how many people have gone thru this and can now heal. Very emotional 🙏

[@dragonzodiac78]

🙏🏽❤

[@GyrlBlaque]

I'm going to predict a movie in the future

[@toniarivers7259]

Little fires everywhere in reverse

[@blackcherry6877]

Everything isn't meant to be a movie. She's just telling her truth.

[@opulence_prime]

Perhaps. I’m actually embarrassed for her bcus I do believe her mom lied.

[@sweetrose_5]

​@@opulence_primemy thoughts Also 😢. Donor almost 50 years ago is odd. Hopefully not

[@aprilm4423]

Um, yeah. A movie.

[@ejnichols05]

He's the ONLY father she's known, and they raised an amazing daughter. No one should ever feel ashamed about bring life, they wanted, into this world. Sometimes we have to get out of our own personal perceptions, and think about what's best for others, especially when it comes to children. I know who my bio father is, BUT my dad (stepfather) was the one who raised me...❤❤❤

[@godmadesam]

Lies and secrets hurt worse, the longer you keep them from the people who should know. I appreciate her transparency, and her beautiful response; but it is not ok to do things like this and not reveal so there can be a chance to heal. I’m glad this happened while they were still living. I know of a situation where the mental fragility of the individuals will deepen and worsen, if they find out after the death of the parents. I pray they do the right thing like her parents.

[@brendakluttz2557]

Love the unconditional love that you have for your parents. I was taken from my father a few days after I was born. My grandparents were my parents and I loved them as mom and dad. My father and I found each other when I turned 50.

[@emeralddream4428]

Ugh 😫😫 this hurt me to my core! I was raised thinking one man was my dad, but he wasn't around ( professional criminal/inmate) then when I was 15 my uncle's ex wife was drunk and told me who my dad was, I had my mom take me around the town we were in looking for him but we found his best friend and he had my sister come get me and I looked just like her!!! I just remember crying and hugging her and my family on his side I looked like them my body type and all, it was crazy because I didn't think I looked like anyone on my mom's side. It's important to know where you come from!

[@g.pearson4726]

Please tell children while they’re young This isn’t everyone’s experience Tell them asap and put them in therapy and then family therapy For them to have the opportunity to work it out I’m happy KW story turned out beautifully for her and her family This was a tear jerker 😭😭😭

[@bintimkitosi6187]

Therapy is not cheap

[@psychedelic.dreamer]

​@@bintimkitosi6187 if you have money to adopt ir get sperm donation, you can afford therapy. It may not be cheap but your child completely distancing themselves from you later in life isn't a small price to pay either.

[@msmiami212]

It’s the exact opposite. Pre-18, they grow up resenting you and will hunt desperately for your replacement with the “greener grass” of the bio parent they imagine. If not from birth, I’d only advise to tell someone grown who now has their own insight on parenthood.

[@jones2277]

Therapy is such a joke

[@KCNwokoye]

Love Kerry. What an amazing story of love and healing ❤️

[@dorothyedwards7225]

After watching her tell this story several times on talk shows, this is still so griping and emotional and passionate!!! I've been a follower and watcher of Find your Roots, its great. I thinks its relevatory and pertinent to "find your roots" of your family tree!

[@Heartcoachtalk]

Great point❣️ I too love that show, and find so much joy and fulfillment in journeying with others as they find their roots❤

[@dorothyedwards7225]

❣❤💕🤗@@Heartcoachtalk

[@musiclover4587]

I'm reading her new book now, it is a good read - she is authentic about her family and the dysfunction that many of us experience and keep quiet about.

[@ronald8071]

What's dysfunctional about her parents using a sperm donor?

[@musiclover4587]

@@ronald8071 I wasn’t referring to sperm donation as dysfunctional at all, I was referring to a number of of issues that she shares about her family dynamic such as alcoholism.

[@MM-qo4to]

Made me cry. Had my daughter via egg donation and we plan to tell her very young. I believe telling children early is the key.

[@stevi6236]

She’s a tribute to her wonderful parents….. blessings❣️

[@mlatrellelove]

"You can love someone deeper in truth than in a lie." Wow what a statement.

[@HealwNonaBlacktv]

I am glad she found out & able to love them unconditionally

[@wilieshamccrorey8896]

Her parents are lying. I don’t believe that story.

[@ladieessence]

I think that there may be more to this story. I wonder if her Mom got pregnant from a situation and they just decided to raise her together as if he is her biological father.

[@pedromendesrbd]

why did they hide this? it's not a crime to be steryle... they should've told her as she was growing up and able to understand about reproduction... as adopted children are told they were adopted.

[@goldenlifelove7251]

EXACTLY

[@phyllispierce9453]

I had to finish crying before I write anything! What a beautiful story! I can’t imagine how scared her father was! And the peace that came when he found out that nothing had changed!! Wonderful!

[@talented1602]

I take my hat off to Kerry! Loving someone unconditionally after it was a lie the whole time is truly inspiring. I don't know how I would react. Some many questions, so many answers?????

[@thedopemom7697]

She’s better than me because this would take some time to digest. My priorty as a parent is to always tell my son the truth with love Her parents were trying to protect themselves and not her. Kerry is a lovely woman and Im happy this worked out for them.

[@thulim1773]

Kerry, this is so beautiful

[@yonathanseleshi]

I know I'm not the only one thinking this.. Kerry Washington would be a great Talk Show Host. She has this very clear aura of warmth, intelligence, depth, and understanding. A unique person.

[@lisaray101]

She doesn’t look like her mother either🤔 the dishonesty all these years makes me wonder about the mother too.

[@OYah137]

Riiight..Sperm donor my foot.

[@cicidelossantos]

I think she looks like her mother and she favors dad too

[@stefaniadellarovere6488]

They wouldn't have told her hadn't she decided to do that show. So shameful :(

[@BradsTrashIsTyronesTreasure91]

Her parents were wrong for not telling her the truth.

[@tinkmitch8292]

​@@sparkle3000When parents or a parent decide to use a donor they have to mindful of possibly having to disclose that for many reasons including medical. Kerry is fine with it but how many wouldn't be okay with having that information concealed.

[@rmmoss3800]

If she didn’t go through with finding your roots show, they would have took that to their grave. Like many older parents out here keeping secrets and not disclosing. On top of that Kerry could have been dating her brother, cousin and never would have known, so it’s not ok. It’s quick to be ok and get passed it but it is also ok to process it and have feelings about it, like you should have come forward a long time ago parents.

[@manushaqueen4687]

Really difficult. I imagine as life progressed it would have become harder to tell her. That show came at the right time and she gave a beautiful response to her father, imo.

[@Inunity2020]

Black people need to break these kinds of habits smh happens too much… it’s dishonest and children have every right and so does the rest of the family

[@manushaqueen4687]

@@Inunity2020 it is sad that people feel ashamed, protective or guilty, believing it will change relationships for the worst if the facts are revealed. This is common in all ethnicities. Not just with black people. As one size does not fit all people can only do what they think is best and live with the consequences.

[@Riley42-03]

I just F’in cried 😢

[@jslack8973]

Loving someone on purpose 🥰

[@candecollection4730]

HE LOVED HER FROM HIS HEART, and it's BEYOND BEAUTIFUL that Kerry sees that. THIS IS SO BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL ❤❤❤❤❤ SO POWERFUL 🦋💫✨👑 THANK YOU KERRY, for sharing your beautiful story with us.

[@citizenenak]

Wonderful

[@svlifestylevibe]

Very profound! Blessings to them🙏🏾💕

[@diemmarley1217]

Something’s off 🧐🧐🧐

[@turquoisepurple7sky151]

You all are so nutty! This generation of folks are the weakest generation I have ever witness. What could possibly be OFF?

[@ashleyrogers1930]

It really is, the first child born of artificial insemination in the United States was in the 80s, so it really makes no sense.

[@ThashaPN12]

@@ashleyrogers1930exactly. I’m just waiting for one journalist to finally call her out on that because even if that’s what her mum supposedly told her- she surely did her own research and found out it’s not true.

[@ashleyrogers1930]

@@ThashaPN12 I don’t think she questioned them though. She seems like she comes from the type of family where you don’t question your elders, so I don’t think she’s lying , I just think her parents lied to her yet again.

[@belleame1064]

I agree!

[@mwelb5251]

I think she's a beautiful human, but I always got that feeling from Kerry that she was incredibly private. For her to be sharing something so personal....wow!

[@NormaYoung]

I’ve thought about this too. And for me a small measure of sadness is that her parents begged her not to go public. Her Dad said it will kill him. It’s been five years and they’ve all come out on the other side stronger for this but I do feel for her parents now that their business is publicly known. Kerry is now a NYTimes bestselling author, doing all the talk-shows and appearances and speaking gigs off of a really sad traumatic family experience. Always so fiercely private, I hadn’t ever imagined this was a path she would take. It seems to have worked out for and her parents but yikes what a risk!

[@willawentertainment]

@@NormaYoung Kerry’s been purposefully private for much of her career. But in regards to this, after she found out the circumstances surrounding her birth and the when and how she found out, the ball was then in her court. The how, when, what, where and why she wanted to share her story no longer belonged to her parents. She was around 40 when she found out. They were never going to tell her.

[@Gogetter795]

But she looks more like her dad, or is it just me?🤔

[@PennyMsElite]

Just you

[@loveneisha]

It's just you

[@niolab7]

I’ve always thought that !

[@SoniT]

She doesn't look like her mother or father to me.

[@comedianpottymouth]

It's not just you it's common for people to choose a donor who has the father's same features and if you live with anyone long enough you start to look alike ❤

[@marlenesaundersshow]

Wow . What a conversation. That took guts and maturity

[@marymontgomery3489]

Beautiful

[@aliahspirituality]

I’m sorry but celebrities are hilarious. They find out they have a story that sounds deeply troubling and then they go on a nationwide tour talking about it with such solemness like the world must know I am “traumatized” I feel like her agent was like yesss finally she has something to talk about and booked her on Oprah immediately

[@jones2277]

Exactly. Her eating disorder isn’t big enough to bring in readers

[@greyos6034]

It's devastating news. It's a betrayal, unforgivable really. Her parents should have told her when she was old enough to comprehend what they were saying, or at the very least right after she graduated from high school.

[@NormaYoung]

I read her book. And it seems that Kerry struggled in her late teens. By college she had an eating disorder and was using substances. Perhaps her parents were waiting for when the time was right and the news wouldn’t tip over the edge. And then there just never seemed to be the right time because she’s so happy and has built such a beautiful life after all the dark days she went through, so the news might be too heartbreaking. Or she just had a breakup or lost a role she really wanted or she’s recovered from bronchitis we can’t tell her just yet. And so on and so on and so on time passed.

[@tatijoie]

​@NormaYoung I agree but I also agree with what the other commenter said. I wouldn't day unforgivable but it seems the parents would have not said anything whether her life was easy or difficult or maybe they were too scared. I don't know what I would do to be honest bc it'd sort of a betrayal but I would hope to respond well bc how Kerry did it is really incredible

[@Joan1able]

Her nails are gorgeous Kerry is a great person and her wisdom and emotional intelligence and love for her father is admirable such a beautiful lady inner and outer😊

[@aishariel9924]

Every time I see her I only see Olivia Pope 😊

[@daniellejohnson8910]

My prayer is that this revelation will encourage other parents to TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH!!!

[@milesjohnson5487]

Musta been a really good looking donor. 🤣🤣

[@roter13]

Her parents aren't worth ish. They were literally going to lie to her all of her life. Horrible.

[@XSLS73]

. What a lovely reaction to her discovery.

[@kisha4040]

Do you even know her?

[@XSLS73]

@@kisha4040 Do you sit on your device and ask bizarre questions. Of course i don't know her. You know her??? Stop reading in to everything. Its not that serious.

[@tonimt1712]

She is clearly Ethiopian. And beautiful. In the end, raising a child you acquired, no matter how, is a labor of love, and she was raised in a positive, 2 parent household, which has a world of impact on any child.

[@v0calbeatzlaughs]

I was thinking Somali, but I bet her dad is some type of East African for sure!

[@tonimt1712]

@@v0calbeatzlaughs I see that, too

[@nikkimalcolm8889]

Well her mother is Jamaican, I guess it's someone off the island...hiding something like this is big in our culture...

[@kisha4040]

​@@tonimt1712Some Black Americans look East African.

[@kisha4040]

​@@nikkimalcolm8889I don't believe that's her mother either.

[@bernardsplayground9237]

Amazing... this unconditional love you exhibited to your parents ❤

[@slac25]

The grandfather that raised me is not my biological grandfather but I will never see him as anything other than my blood. He raised me from birth. Loved my mother as his own child and we grandkids were no different. I only spoke to my biological grandfather ONCE and that’s when he messaged to tell us he had stomach cancer and he was dying to try and make amends. My grandfather knew me better than anyone in my family and I miss him every single day of my life. Blood doesn’t make you family. LOVE DOES ❤❤❤

[@roderickstockdale1678]

Did your mom die at birth?

[@EstherMcisaac]

It's still your family because you have the same blood. You may not have good feelings for them but you can't change your bloodline.

[@hellawitzgerald7530]

So her parent's were comfortable with basically telling Skip that? Sounds sketch.

[@pamelajackson6730]

I love Kerry.

[@datruth470]

Unpopular opinion….not everything needs to be shared with the public. This is one of those things.

[@sonia338]

Say what ever you want because u never been in her shoes😢

[@onlyyehavah]

Agreed

[@jaymak_16]

And yet, you are here...👀

[@KyeyuneBatuma]

Whooo chile !! This had me at the edge of my seat 😮

[@swimmingturtle00]

Couldn’t imagine she could get more beautiful but WoW what a beautiful response and perspective.

[@msthang5366]

This is so strange. She’s private about her marriage and kids, but puts this out about her parents.

[@jaclynch6312]

She addressed this during her breakfast club interview

[@its.mitchell]

she's selling her book,she had to say something to get attention

[@msthang5366]

@@jaclynch6312 I refuse to watch “The Breakfast Club”.

[@mariaaparecidabarbosadasil2347]

She is found your father biological

[@NormaYoung]

After they begged her not to. Her dad said it will kill him if the news got out. And now she’s doing all the talk shows and the interviews and appearances. It’s been five years and I think they’ve come through to the other side. But I don’t know if it was worth it…surely there are other stories/ways to become a NYTimes bestselling author….

[@themaneidea]

Test tube babies are no longer a punchline for jokes, there is a whole generation now

[@Kristrea]

Wow! I’m tearing up😢.

[@cicidelossantos]

Not trying to be that person but, guess I’m that person today. Lol I don’t believe it. Sorry.

[@measchueax]

Stuff like this always hits me in the feels 😢

[@gibbsthomas3201]

Her parents lied to her all these years - wow.

[@Laniece4u2]

And still

[@Sjmm21]

I just love Kerry Washington! I could listen to her voice all day!!! I’d love if she got the opportunity to narrate something

[@nancyoyula]

This comment section is weird man. 'sup with all them theories

[@2EKgn16]

Wondering the same thing. Some of them sound personal or straight up meanspirited. This is YTube/social media though...so no surprise. Be careful what you put out there cause everybody has something to say.

[@msjewellsjade]

Why couldn't I have had that. I'm so happy that she has THIS! My step dad turned into a monster when I found out the truth

[@authorliannejames]

Kerry is so well-spoken, beautiful, and just plain mesmerizing.

[@TheDiaryofDestaney]

Yes, she is. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@RealityCheck1980]

I heard that they didn’t want Kerry to discuss this publicly but she also has the right to discuss her life..Tough position.

[@angelajohns2853]

Wow 😳

[@artgroupie]

Ok I’m buying her book!! I hope it’s on audible.

[@HarpersHeadquarters]

So did her ma get inseminated in a project apartment somewhere or did her husband inseminate her at home. . this was not a common practice in the late 60s early 70s especially for black women. . . 🤔

[@Ateyaaa]

WOW.....I love this

[@Iammiyajay]

Kerry God bless you and your family. 🙏🏾 I’m so happy you know the truth and so happy you and your parents have a deeper bond and a deeper love. ❤

[@RealityCheck1980]

I know someone right now that thinks the man who raised him is his Dad but the son is actually the result of the wife’s affair around the time he left for the military…. The biological father knows the truth, he has unique features, and the son looks just like him. When the biological father was young, it was fine to just move on…. However as he grew older and matured, he became a family man, and now the weight of the lie is overwhelming at times…. The young man has a family of his own, with grandchildren he can’t claim…. Wouldn’t it be crazy if one day they needed a DNA test? And what type of dissociative personality is required to keep that lie from your husband for 40 years? Whew!

[@ursulanicholson5166]

🤔

[@momonie4]

KERRY LOOKS JUST LIKE HER BELLISSIMA MOM OMG!!!!

[@Solistastyle]

All the people Dissing Oprah. She was the OG Queen of authentic conversations. Before Jo Rogan. Before Andrew Huberman. A Black Woman, taught the world the power of Hard Conversations. 👐🏾

[@stellac.e2086]

i feel her parents side. they were gonna take the SECRET to their grave!!!!. they wanted a baby, did what was necessary to conceive.

[@godmadesam]

Still wrong to keep it from her.

[@smae61]

Why is she talking about her parents on TV like this...People do anything to be relevant..

[@ukan.536]

This made me cry. Darn you, Oprah!!

[@spacetimecontinuum]

Wow!

[@MaritzaSalina]

She resembles her father though, you have never guessed

[@user-kp7bi1ug9e]

I don't agree with her that every time they said "I love you" it was based on a lie. I think that's a weird statement.

[@HeavenlyJLove]

you should rewatch that section in its entirety. she’s saying that he might’ve thought that. it makes sense

[@loversonly]

Correct, she definitely did not say that. She basically explained that her dad thought that Kerry only loved him, because she assumed that he was her biological father. And that he thought if she found out he wasn’t, that she would be so upset that she would no longer love him. That’s what she meant by unconditional love, that by finding out and confronting her dad, she was able to provide him with the security of unconditional love.

[@EnriqueSebastian-vd9uo]

"I don't have to listen to you or obey your orders because you're not my real dad! (or mom!)" Every parent in this situation thinks this will happen if they're honest w/the kid(s).

[@tenelleharris5696]

Do you know how many kids who where created from sperm donors 🤔 like please you had two loving parents to raise you 🙄

[@tasibho]

They both look amazing . Her and Oprah

[@Unknown-bp9gq]

Shoot I’m crying💙❤️🥰

[@auzij4949]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@damngoodyear]

Beautiful😂❤

[@rollandphinton7374]

The man knew the truth and it didn't stop him from loving and raising her as his child. So what's the big deal? It is what it is

[@Lola-anointed]

The truth always finds it's way to come out.

[@AbdulcharlesmoselyaliPhillippe]

Science 🔭🧪 typically speaking 🗣️ 🧬 DNA can be tested at your primary care physician aka your doctor 🏥

[@rollandphinton7374]

It's not my business to know her family's history.

[@sharonsolana]

Wow.

[@amberhoward1840]

Wow…so beautiful what she said to him 😢❤