Kidnapping in Japan is Okay

[@CyberNeo-Taoist]

My grandfather did this sort of thing but in a more overtly spiteful way. When my mother and 4 of my aunts and uncles were little kids my grandfather and grandmother got a divorce. My grandfather then took my grandmother to court to gain custody, he then won custody. He then promptly put my mother and her 4 siblings in a group home but retained full parental control over their lives. My mother lived at that group home from the ages of 10 to 16. Later on in my mothers life she asked my grandfather "why in the hell would you do that?" his response, "to get back at your mother for leaving me" Treating children as if they are nothing more than ammunition is such a sick and twisted mindset

[@OtisCluck]

Where did this happen? There’s no way that would happen in the states, as family courts here are heavily biased towards the mother

[@CyberNeo-Taoist]

@@OtisCluck Maybe nowadays and of recent past but no, they haven't always been My mothers history with this did take place in the states, specifically, Maine in the late 1970's. The custody battle took place in '76, the ruling was made in '77, my mother and her 4 siblings were placed in the group home later on that year. My mother was there, as I said, from the ages of 10 to 16. There was a woman who worked there that advocated for my mothers emancipation. At 16 my mother went to live with my grandmother in Vermont

[@YakuKikyo]

@@OtisCluck You seriously need to plug off internet and inform yourself if you think it's impossible. Next you're gonna proudly have proves the Earth is flat.

[@ViktorErikFade]

My father tried this with my older brother, They went to court after he binged drug use and didn't help with the family and wasn't even in our house but when she threatened to leave him and took him to court for divorce he threatened to take her only son, my older brother , because he knew she loved her kids the most. She told the court she didn't want anything else except custody of us kids she did all the work and could prove it and he eventually gave up thankfully she was very stubborn and didn't give up

[@mhok4879]

​@@OtisCluck completely false lol. The only reason mothers tend to get custody more is because they ask for it, unlike the fathers who tend to leave the kids to the other parent. Custody battles are not biased if both participants WANT the children. Be fr

[@missrebel634]

Lack of empathy for the children could also play a role in this

[@SootyDreams]

No court system has empathy for children.

[@platina1502]

a huge amount of ppl still dont percieve children as humans and its reflected in most law systems as many human rights dont aply to children

[@Justmyhandle]

@@platina1502 Which human rights that apply to adults should also be applied to children, in your opinion? I promise this isn't bait for a "Gotcha" or argument or anything like that. I'm just curious. Also, to avoid assumptions about which laws you live under currently, what country do you live in? I'm American.

[@bababooey7418]

wow from a country that loves cp in media what a surprise

[@quwandathornton]

@@SootyDreams Exactly, the fact that America want us to pop out children while banning abortions is wild; It's dangerous for women who end up bad for women who are graped or SA'd to have a child, which doesn't take into consideration failing mental health due to having the baby of said predator. You can put the kid up for adoption, but now the kid has to go through countless hellhole of families...

[@Mergerie_Smithaton]

What a coincidence you uploaded this video because last night I watched a documentary about a woman from the UK who married a man from the Middle East who kidnapped their three kids. He took them to Saudi Arabia and she didn't hear from them for over a decade until they were adults.

[@tiptoe_springles5631]

That's so scary 😢

[@triannamenor583]

Not without my daughter the movie

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

This is a big issue with the partners being from different countries, the one parent just goes on “vacation” to their home country and never return.

[@m.l.1320]

there where similar cases in 00´s where Europen children where "kidnapped"by thier not european fathers . Here in Germany had a not European Father leave thier daugther alone in the house and take only the son into his homeland.the parents had both shared custody. The thing was that the shared custody law seems not fully work outside of eu. than a spanish person "kidnapped" his kids but the mother did insist on her right of the shared custody .the europaen court of justice gave the mother right.the father had to give the children back and he loss the shared custody. it was regularly on the news back then .

[@pellevestergaard5779]

Horrible

[@julia1996.]

Isn't it illegal to take out a kid from a country without both parent's signatures and approval?

[@SootyDreams]

I know it's that way in the US, but I don't know about elsewhere.

[@GameFuMaster]

@@SootyDreams it's illegal in a lot of places (including Australia), and countries actually have mutual agreements to extradite child kidnappings

[@Boxofcare666]

Typical american thinking world has the same structure as them

[@rowanwhitethorn9686]

@@Boxofcare666chill out bro it was one person.

[@MrProfilen]

@@Boxofcare666 Moron.

[@1977felisha]

A few decades ago in the U.S., I saw on the news on of the best stories. A brilliant judge who was dealing with a hostile custody battle decided that the home the family shared would basically go to the kids & gave the parents split custody. The kids stayed in the only home they ever knew & whichever parent is taking their turn csring for their kids, stays in that home with the kids. Then when its the next parents turn, they switch places staying in the home. The kids never had to be shuffled from one home to the other. Clearly that scenario won't work for everyone due to financial reasons. But if it's possible, its best for their kids' stability.

[@Adrianefan68259]

This kinda reminds me of a different but weird scenario (as a kid to messily divorced parents) but one of my step-cousins mom and dad still lived together, attended family events together, and basically acted married. I guess they did it "for the kids" and now live a couple houses apart from each other since the kids moved out. I didn't know they were divorced until I was an adult. Legit don't understand, but I guess they had a healthier relationship than my parents 😅

[@Akymma]

The problem is that Japan values the idea of an idealized family, over the actual family. And when things don't match up to what they expect (which less be honest, when do they ever do?) then everything is left up to be solved among the family. Probably to avoid further "disrupting" the situation.

[@lillypad5317]

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

[@AMS-tothepm]

smh. But Japan has had ALOT of problems…within work focre, racism(older generation) stalking issues, failed criminal justice system, corruption.. ect.

[@mangamama9881]

That's not just Japan. In Germany they have new regulations now that basically say that a mother can't deny the father of her child to see the kid if he has visitation rights UNLESS there is a known risk and the child wouldn't be safe. (Mothers could also ofc be the unsafe party) Which is so messed up.

[@DiXtionRap]

​@@mangamama9881What's wrong with that?

[@japankurisu170]

I had a Japanese male coworker who got divorced. He completely lost access to his child in the split, and when his ex got re-married, the child was legally adopted by the ex-wife’s new husband and he lost all parental rights. He was super depressed about it. It’s almost as if the child has died.

[@kunal4697]

The more I learn the more Japan just seems a place where I will never settle down in.

[@caseywarren7426]

even if you would want too.. You can't so many roadblocks to foreigners owning anything or getting retirement visas.

[@rialove8451]

Exactly, even japanese people don't enjoy life in japan. Glorified utopian hellhole

[@lucinae8512]

Japan is a great place to visit, but to live & work there is very hard and complex. Not impossible, but something you have to really consider, research and plan out.

[@OtisCluck]

@@caseywarren7426it’s like the exact opposite of the US lol

[@I0ITuGI0I]

This happens all over the world, here in the UK women often get biased treatments by the courts then fathers can't see their kids all due to spite. Sure abducting a child is illegal here, but most women know they can just go to court and win and their costs are covered for them etc. I know plenty people who have had to fight in court to see their flesh and blood.

[@Sprizys]

When I read the title I immediately said “What?…”

[@Marsofearthh]

Also, with Japan wanting to up the birth rate, im surprised they aren't trying to amend this law? Like hey men and women, wanna have more kids? :D Great, there are zero protections for you.

[@Disig]

The Japanese government simultaneously wants to have their cake and eat it too. They want the perfect Japanese family, mom at home, one or two children, dad always working. And they want the population to go up. And they don't want that to change even though it has to because people have been pointing out the flaws in this ":perfect family ideal" for a long ass time now.

[@cheyennemoore8380]

Yes but sounds like it's to not disrupt the entire population which is their main culture tbh. Which is just sad for the children involved.

[@RadenWA]

If it’s applied to cases where children born overseas are taken to Japan then it _supports_ their population growth. 🙄

[@Marsofearthh]

@@RadenWA I feel like thats hardly a boost though. Like, it would be in their best interest to sort something out for their population than to leave their citizens in this mess for what is probably only a handful of cases of foreign born children kidnappings a year. Im assuming most people affected are Japanese couples, I'm sure the ones that make national news are the 1/2 foreign couples that get picked up by their home networks, which is why it seemed skewed to foreigners. I would be WAY more likely to have a kid in a country that I knew had laws to protect me as a parent.

[@Marsofearthh]

@@cheyennemoore8380 I get that, it's hard to understand not being from Japan so it's easy for me to be baffled at the thought of this being normal. Poor kids. I really hope this is sensationalized and most couples are able to find a compromised situation ):

[@RafaelEduardoPerezSolis]

Sadly this also happens in Mexico... A close family member is going through that now and has not been able to see the kid (in person) for almost 4 years.

[@zcnaipowered7407]

You would be sad 😔

[@catttooo101]

También le paso a mi mamá con mi hermana menor pero su papá se la llevó a usa. No la hemos visto desde hace 8 años..

[@moonstarry6214]

This is so upsetting. In some cases, if there's abuse of some kind, I can kind of understand. But, if there isn't anything going on, they have no reason to remove the children from the ex. Its so sad.

[@kosmicreviews643]

This is crazy timing! I just came across a foreigner in south korea who had her infant son abducted by her abusive husband and mother in law. She only posted about the situation a few weeks ago and it needs more attention. Her channel name is Courtney the Enthusiast.

[@francisbonnefoy7887]

I was kidnapped by my mum as a kid for 2 years, i didnt know this was a common thing i thought i was alone. Thanks for posting this.

[@Disig]

JP: We don't have problems. The world: well what about... JP: No, we don't have problems you just don't understand our culture. It's unknowable and unfathomable unless you're Japanese clearly.

[@bayangintokii4774]

that's exactly how is it

[@hunterkline7972]

Everyone here is just butthurt Japan isn't perfect. Even with it's problems, they are small compared to what we have going on in the States.

[@Disig]

@@hunterkline7972 Sure, JP has smaller problems than most countries. But the problem is JP doesn't like to admit it has any faults and ends up ignoring their problems at the detriment to their citizens.

[@normanclatcher]

​@@DisigChina too. Anywhere that "saving face" is critical.

[@Beenus2622]

I still remember reading history that Japan being the cruelest one to invade Indonesia despite having shorter term of invasion than Dutch that time, adding they also do horrible stuff to other country too, i don't blame the citizens, i blame the government for not teaching their own people proper history of their past in the name of honesty and not to repeat the past Forgive, but not forget

[@lovelylalalu6328]

CHILDREN ARE NOT OBJECTS! So blessed to be raised with divorced parents who valued me and my life. I saw both of my parents regularly and they worked together often in my favor. I also saw both sides of the family and even though my mom and dad didn’t really want anything to do with each other anymore. They still respect each other as parents.

[@vustvaleo8068]

so in Japan it is the opposite of the meme of "your dad tried to buy milk but never came back".

[@Carl_Grimm82]

I was in a similar situation. After my parents divorced, my mother ran off with me and cut all contact with my dad. He had to search for over a year to find me. I was 8 at the time and didn't understand much. But now that I'm 21, I can't Imagine not having my dad in my life. Yes, It's a very evil act as a parent, to take another parent out of your child's life. They may not question you as a kid, but they will ones they grow older.

[@kaedelynn]

Yeah, unless one parent is truly evil/harmful to the child like if they're abusive & harmed the child before its not ok, but its still horrible for the child. Unfortunately you indeed have abusive parents who would brainwash the child into accepting being abused as normal to the point they'd be used as a weapon against the parent & family that'd really treasure them. Those cases are the worst as sometimes even when they've grown up they won't see the truth or recover from the damage.

[@ack153]

Was your relationship with your mother really damaged because of this or were you able to work things out with her?

[@Carl_Grimm82]

@ack153 Since I was 8 at the time, I didn't criticize her for this. I'm currently living with her whilst having contact with my dad. So we moved on from that situation. However it could've been a different story if my dad didn't find me back then.

[@Emiliiiiisingsssss]

That is so fucking crazy dude imagine being the child of a parent like this.

[@afujimoto3843]

I'm kind of surprised reading these comments how many people didn't know this was a thing. This isn't anything new, it's been going on for DECADES and has been thoroughly documented and criticized by the international community.

[@catinacafe7105]

It happens in the states as well so I'm not sure why people are singling out one of many countries that has this problem.

[@Cryinginthecloudssss]

& so many parents will bad talk the parent who they left. I’ve heard so many stories of the kids just where I’m from in the US believing their parent was an absolute asshole cause they abandoned them. When in reality the parent never stopped thinking about them or searching :( and then later in life the end up having a good relationship with the parent who “left” and then the kids feel like they’ve lost YEARS of connection with someone who DID care about them

[@Hewhak-Ieage-y5c]

The case of Junko Furuta was the turning point that Japan is an twisted hell

[@goldensloth7]

holy DAMN i just read about it. absolutely horrifying.

[@eduardobenassi3072]

Lmao. Read the news, worldwide, uncensored. Japan is one of the greatest places to live on this filthy rock. You're incredibly ignorant... And this channel is a pile of dogshit.

[@eduardobenassi3072]

You're incredibly ignorant and naive. Watch the news, worldwide, uncensored news. Japan is on of the greatest places to live on this filthy rock. I can't believe the amount of morons this channel attracts, it's ridiculous.

[@sboinkthelegday3892]

And not freefalling into straight up hell of USA, where such things are rather common and not decades apart, but people LITERALLY don't know it and turn around to say it's among the greatest countries on earth.

[@user-qm7jw]

>Junko Furuta That was over 40 years ago, and Japan then and Japan now are very different. In today's Japan, if a minor commits a crime, he/she may even be sentenced to death. I don't understand why people are so obsessed with an old case from 40 years ago.

[@lemcy1256]

NGL, I am split on this... My Mom is a survivor of "only" psychological abuse by the hands of my father (because she always was stronger, in mind, spirit and body, than he was!). And she ran away, with me... And I screamed and shoutet at her that I want Daddy at that time... But years later my own father nearly drove me to k*ll myself. He did not win this battle. We are still here and alive. And he is lonely and a sad mass. I went no contact 9 years ago. Best years of my life.

[@qwmx]

Congratulations.

[@Psydkik]

That sounds terrifying

[@Mythic00]

Yes, I know here in the US there's plenty of issues with kinds of abuse that are difficult to prove in court or even courts are biased in favor of. So parents, especially mothers, can feel driven to flee with the kids because there's no support or other escape route. And there are certainly worse countries for that. Seems like Japan does have that extra complicating factor where it's bad for kids, but there may also be cases where that's just the easiest way to escape. Seems to me most cultures basically just consider kids to be basically property of parents, though, not really people. Not a lot of support or consideration given. So parents with selfish motivations don't face much repercussion and nobody is really looking out for the kids.

[@Lunaffee]

There will always be outlier cases unfortunately but overall I think a fair split that can be argued against is better than an unfair split that can’t be.

[@malachiallen1517]

Soooooo, whenever a kid gets kidnapped in Japan, the mother and father gotta be Mario & Luigi like they on their way to save Peach 💀💀💀

[@RadenWA]

Did you even watch the video? This is specific to cases where ONE of the parent is the kidnapper. That means the mom is Bowser.

[@malachiallen1517]

@@RadenWA ❗️

[@onidaaitsubasa4177]

This makes me wonder how many children wind up being kidnapped back and forth throughout their whole childhood simply because both parents live in Japan, just because of this law, as it's the only way either parent will ever see their child.

[@Gyvie-marie]

There are services available in Japan that can help a person disappear. I saw a documentary on it. A lady, in an abusive relationship, paid the service to make her and her child disappear. I imagine the service can be used to ensure that your ex never finds you even if there is no abuse going on.

[@Akira_909-r1m]

Aki I also want you to keep in mind that some of these cases or other ones the dad make it seem like the mom kidnapping the kids but that's not true sometimes that is what the kids want or safe for them and the dad just plays the victim in front of other people for sympathy and to get hold of there kids even if they don't want it ( manipulation )

[@ArkKage]

This comment is truth. Things aren't just one sided and there are alot of wicked people who are extremely good at playing the innocent victim. Sometimes as a parent it's not about being selfish and wanting to hurt the ex but rather, you're paranoid with everything that will and won't happen if your Vulnerable child was to be left with said person; trying to protect your little one from anymore trauma than what they went through already... Not everyone who has kids with someone makes good choices in who we procreate with and often don't face the truth until it is too late. Just like not everyone who is deciding to not include the other parent is doing so out of spite because they can't separate the relationship from their duty as a parent. That decision is sometimes made SOLELY because it's your duty as the primary parent to keep your child out of an environment that would not be safe for them. Which forces one to make harsh decisions because it ends up being the only choice that you are left with to keep the children safe.

[@kellharris2491]

Yeah some have the Dad just want to visit and play fun times but not actually provide for the child. They come across as loving when they don't do crap for the child.

[@GJ-oo2xw]

Plenty of mothers also.

[@behindthemaestrosdesk]

Is it now!? Japan has officially lost it.

[@slushyslushslushbruh]

Believe it or not, it's been going on for so long. To give some context, around almost a decade ago, Japan signed the Hague Convention that technically makes it illegal, but Japan doesn't enforce it.

[@missachua]

This older show The Closer did an ep on this iirc, and even older ep of Law & Order from the 90s too, based on a real case. Been common for a long ass time. I didn't finish the video, so at the risk of being redundant, it seems to commonly happen to foreign fathers. They get with a Japanese woman and she brings back 'Japanese citizens' with her, even if they're hāfu. If Aki hasn't done a video on 'Coin-locker babies', that'd be another horrific one to tie into this video.

[@mariostudio7]

Japan lost it long tamago

[@TeeDee-j9u]

Better then America

[@Richochet82628]

South korea does the same thing too.

[@SamS-ce4li]

Thank you for mentioning this! This is what I'm struggling with right now, the Japanese court system is not your friend here and it incentivizes kidnapping your child from their other parent. Getting the child back is nearly impossible.

[@sarahramos2919]

Thank you for bringing this to a wider audience! I have been aware of this issue for a while. I am glad that some changes are happening now. The whole thing is heartbreaking! Thanks from Kentucky! Take care!

[@yukikanegawa7470]

I can't help but think this sounds like an intentional way to keep children in Japan. Since they're so against letting in foreigners and they've had a birth rate problem for a while it sounds like a law that was made to be abused.

[@oguubear]

I believe this is also happening in South Korea, I listen to a video where the husband’s wife left with their child to South Korea and the man hasn’t been able to see his child unfortunately. I’m not sure but I think this is still ongoing, it rlly unfortunate how parents are being separated from their child like this and they is no law to stop this. It just sad to see..

[@jamesw2855]

I’ve also heard a couple of these stories where one of the parents was South Korean and the government backs them for custody.

[@tompallett117]

Look up Courtney Lynn. Her baby was stolen from a police station by her mother in law and abusive husband.

[@Radhaun]

This definitely happens in the US too. I have a friend who was totally bullied out of custody for her son by her partners mother. She never gets to see him anymore, and she doesn't have the financial resources to take it to court either. Sucks that it happens everywhere...

[@bleep0004]

Why nobody even asks the children? Dual custody should be the norm but also it should depend on the child wishes too. I feel like every country has mess up laws in divorce.

[@catinacafe7105]

Well yes the laws are insanely jacked up in each country but a child can't possibly make this decision. Most of these cases revolve around kids who are no older than three.

[@juannaym8488]

in my country (Austria) kids can decide who they want to stay with, but only if they're atleast 14. I don't know why it's that way either honestly

[@ashiri-chan]

Kids don't know any better. They don't understand that one parent can be unable to provide a good life for them. I was that child, I wanted to live with my father. But I'm glad I didn't because I would have so much trauma from his toxic ass. (Bless my mom ❤)

[@Beenus2622]

​@@juannaym8488 perhaps because some young kid want to stay with their abusive parent because they dont know that it is abuse

[@juannaym8488]

@@Beenus2622 ok that does make sense. It's not something I thought about

[@kietsuhime]

I was born and raised in the USA, but I had a similar situation. My mom ran off with me when I was 7 years old, back when you could just not get caught, because the internet wasn't really a thing back then, over state lines. My father is not on my birth certificate. They (my dad is an identical twin, and we don't know which one is actually my father, since they both came up as the father in a dna test) tried to get custody of me, because she was controlling and not letting them have parental control over me. I think she felt that they were too irresponsible (they are 9 years younger than her), and so I think she panicked during the custody battle. I haven't seen them since then, and I'm almost 40 now. I recently got in touch with my dads' side of the family as a result of finding their sister on Ancestry DNA, so that's neat. I wanna get to know them, but I don't know what to say most of the time. I did not think this video would hit this close to home for me, even though it's a different country. Damn

[@jellyem]

I just wanna say that sadly a lot of selfishness goes into the want to steal away a kid. When I was young my father stole me from my mother several times because yeah, he wanted to hurt her and take away whatever happiness she had. I think in many cases that is what motivates it, which is unfortunate but yeah. For others IDK. Like to just hare off with your kid and not let the other parent see it is def messed up and let me tell you, as a kid who got kidnapped by a parent, it messes ya up. Sadly it's super rare for the kidnapping parent to consider the child at all..

[@masudashizue777]

I was thinking this sounded awfully familiar until I realized that this is exactly how I came to live with my Japanese mother. Small world.

[@GJ-oo2xw]

Omg. I’m sorry for you. I hope you have a relationship with your father now.

[@sleepymonsteraddict]

I heard that in Japan a lot of people stay married, even if they don't feel any love for their partner anymore because of the mess that the legal system is. I heard that having divorced parents can also harm the child's future job opportunities as there is a sort of family register, so having divorced parents and/or stepparents could be troublesome for the child. With this information it also makes sense why arranged marriage still is a thing, if you marry simply for the sake of having a kid and being legally married, then there is less risk of divorce I suppose, because the marriage was never based on love for the other individual, but for practical reasons. Either way this is a sad part about Japan, fathers shouldn't have to fear that a divorce will lead to the permanent loss of their children. I hope Japan makes marriage and co-parenting more accessible so that both parents have equal rights.

[@TK-yp4jh]

Discrimination regarding job opportunity is not true. I’ve never heard of such case.

[@scribble6970]

when parents hate each other more than they love their child.

[@3v068]

Thank you for pointing out this odd behavior that a lot of people tend to have. It's prevalent in the United States as well. It's not that it ISNT illegal here, it's that the courts don't care. It's rough for some guys out here.

[@annegriswold2116]

That's horrifying, I feel so sorry for the children. One day you are just taken and you might never see your Dad/Mom again due to the actions of the one who took you. That is if you are even old enough to remember them.

[@stefaniehase2448]

As a mom of two this hits me really hard. Poor children. 😢

[@valentinagiovanardi6080]

I'm shocked! That's so cruel, both from the parents and the government. How would you even consider to deprive a child of one of their parents without any valid reason??

[@achukmvlid.johnson9588]

My kids were 5 and 2. Watching this brings back painful memories. Just thinking how these guys feels hurts my heart 😭. My kids are now ... my son just turned 22 and my daughter will turn 27 on the 12th. 20 years later it still hurts thinking about how I had no idea where they were or if they were OK? My ex and I have overcome so much but I'll never forget or forgive her for doing that.

[@BlurryBlooper]

I'm starting to feel that Japan is not a safe country anymore :(

[@makimasgate]

Japan’s crime rate is low because there so many “crimes and illegal things” doesn’t count as such compare to other countries. So the view of Japan being safe is debatable

[@silverdemon764]

It's not that it was safe, it was just that any crimes that were committed were either covered up by the public to make it seem "safe" or that the government hadn't made any consequences for those said crimes. I mean, they literally have an all female train & many things only women are allowed to enter ...why would they have that if the country was safe to begin with?

[@Disig]

Anymore? Never has been. they've been average for crime for a long time. The statistics just cherry pick because the law favours keeping certain crimes hush hush or doesn't consider certain things as crimes that should be, See: stalking

[@inendlesspain4724]

@@silverdemon764 1) Do you have any sources to back that up or it's all just speculation with no proof? 2) What's wrong with those separate trains for women and "many things only women are allowed to enter" existing? Would you rather they don't have them like in western countries where SA statistics are way higher than in Japan?

[@heyits_Marlo]

​​​@@inendlesspain4724 I don't think they are saying there is something wrong, just that if Japan was indeed a safe country, you wouldn't need these spaces for people, specifically women in this case, to feel safe. Of course it would be good to have them in other countries, but if you have them, it also means there is danger out there. Idk if I'm being clear, I'm sorry if I'm not 😓

[@ImmortalRimas]

If this law in Japan doesn’t change, you can imagine a super volatile situation between divorced parents who just go back-and-forth kidnapping their child off each other never stopping until the child is 18 which I can imagine would mess up any future adult relationships that grown up child could have had

[@namidesu]

This happened to my neighbour's kid, the couple got a divorce. Mom got the son and dad got the daughter. One day the dad then kidnapped the son on his way back home from school and as far as I know the mom never got to meet her kids ever again since then since he moved away with both kids. I feel so sorry for her 😢 Sadly it's not just Japan

[@ack153]

I'm married to a Japanese so I really dove into this topic before I got married and had a kid. This issue is also a huge problem in South Korea and both SK and Japan completely ignore the foreign spouse and hand all the rights over to the native spouse. In both Japan and SK, in the eyes of the law, children are seen as PROPERTY and not PEOPLE, so it's easy for parents to just swoop in and take their children away from the other spouse. It turns into "finder's keepers" and the children do not have any rights. From what I've seen about this issue, I think that a lot of women leave their country and go to the US or another country in the West to start a family there. They greatly underestimate how much a kid will affect their marriage and they suddenly realize how they want their kid to have their own cultural norms and perhaps the wife is really homesick for her family. After the baby comes, the real stress starts to test the couple. The Japanese wife doesn't have family to fall back on and she realizes how much she doesn't like living away from home. This is not all women, but I noticed that a lot of Japanese don't have the best conflict resolution skills. They're not raised with this and when something happens they don't agree with, they tend to shut down. They make their partners think that everything is great when really they're keeping their depression or issues to themselves and think that nothing can be done and all they can do is to take their kid and run. I don't think that this is the issue in every couple, but I think it happens often enough to where Japanese women and Western men need to be seriously educated about what they're stepping into and what heartbreak they're putting their kids through if their relationship doesn't work out before they get married.

[@ratoh1710]

10:19 Yeah, it cannot be overstated that technically legal is not the same as being widely accepted.

[@Darnell]

That is similar in the United States 🇺🇸 for many cases, as most judges 👨🏾‍⚖️ side with the woman for primary custody. I have known several men who had to go through hell to just obtain access to their kids. Japan 🇯🇵 seems next level awfulness compared to America 🇺🇸.

[@bloodydove5718]

I was thinking the exact same thing; this us unsurprisingly common in the US. In many cases family court either enable or facilitate it.

[@desastrnarrations]

And if the mother is completely unhinged, but wins even at least partial custody, the kid has the potential to be fucked up horribly as an adult. See: Adults with CPTSD. I should know - I have it. I'm tired of the mentality of mothers being 'better'.

[@jordanvictoria5]

I don’t know what you guys are talking about. All of your responses are generalizations. I have been through the system so I will tell you. The children do have a voice in the process. What they want is taken into account and for the judge it’s the deciding factor. My brother in law has custody of his son because he wanted it and my sister in law did not. She pays child support and he has contact with her. She is NOT the custodial parent. If the US system family court everyone has a voice and if one parent feels like the kid is being coached the court will order therapy visits. So everything is done with kids safety in mind. I don’t know if you all had a bad experience or not but the US court system for family courts do try.

[@lillypad5317]

I say this all as the child of parents who were and are not together. The law should not allow for a parent's rights to be removed without due process of law, that should not be acceptable and yes there should be something to ensure that joint custody of a child is an option, I agree with all of that. And although I agree with the sentiments that people "should" be able to act with maturity and "should" have all of their trauma resolved before having a child, that is sadly not the reality for most people I have met with parents who are not together, their parents were not adult enough to be cooperative with each other and I do acknowledge that this is sometimes a one sided lack of maturity and sometimes it is not, and when I look back in hindsight I see that a number of these parents were struggling with trauma while trying to navigate marriage and raising children, there should be third party mediation available for situations like this, ultimately I no longer expect people to do as they should and that is why laws need to be built for the reality of worst case scenarios and not the idealized situation that is often unattainable in very traumatized world. I also by in large do not believe in "shoulding on people" if you will, I was raised by a traumatized parent and a lot of times we did not receive assistance or sympathy from people with justification being that they believed that we deserved to struggle because of what they decided should have happened or should have not happened, I also saw through my parents and the way people treated them that when someone is actively in crisis telling them what they should have or should not have done tends to make that situation worse for them and by extension me, their child.

[@DrenoshGaming]

My ex litterally took my kid off me after leaving me, I'm still fighting in court for the third year strait because of bias towards her (mother), it was arranged for her to take him for the day as it was going all too slowly through to mediation to sort out a proper timesheet for joint custody. She after agreeing on terms so she could see the child asap because I felt bad after 2 weeks of her not seeing child (she also hadn't attempted contact during this period). She messaged me "I'm not bringing child back" then ghosted me until I had to go to court. That's in the UK. I feel fathers get an unfair rap pretty consistently in most places.

[@Vampgamergeek]

I’m glad someone is talking about this I married a Japanese women and we are in a loveless marriage, but my biggest fear is if she ran away with my daughter, that’s why I try to keep a good relationship with her because I’ve been told Im lucky that she hasn’t ran off with my child yet, because other foreigners married to Japanese haven’t been lucky 6:49, but I’m afraid one day it’ll happen to me

[@achukmvlid.johnson9588]

My ex kidnapped my kids. Had to take her to court.

[@TheAVJ2]

if the other partner is abusive it should be more of an exception instead of the rule

[@Doktah_Zari]

I heard about one case involving this situation, I wonder if the guy got to at least see his kid after that mess.

[@QueenOfKronstad]

You’d be surprised how often and how many people do this in all over the world. And it does happen to women as well.

[@tmanknoll9702]

Also, thank you for bringing this to our attention. Any country which doesn't have joint custody isn't ready to have divorce and subsequently, marriage. I do hope they get this sorted out for the well being of everyone.

[@Fuxy22]

Yeah that happens all the time to fathers in the US... even better if the mother decides to adopt out the just born child fathers can do nothing and are most likely to loose their rights as a parent without their knowledge...

[@Nyne-s7n]

This happens in the United States. Actually this happened to me the last couple days as my ex is holding them ransom to get her way and all custodial rights default to the mother in my state (despite the fact I have been a SAHD and de facto primary care giver since they were born). To get rights as a father in some states you can expect to have to pay 2-3 grand. Bizarrely relevant video.

[@sunshiheart]

I sort of feel this except I live in Sweden. My Mother used to threaten me that she would kidnap me (to my dad) and my whole childhood just felt like a big yikes after that. I'm doing much better now and she never went through with it, happily.

[@lol.kuro5]

This is a serious topic but i have to say Aki looks healthy and pretty! Your hair looks nice and shiny . Sorry for the out of topic comment but as an artist I observed this detail and couldn’t not appreciate it ✨

[@ririkey168]

There is a case that happened close to me which should be looked into as well. (This case is solved btw for disclaimer - it was a long journey) In certain country I will not name, no matter what the reasoning was, the custody/finance splits are 50/50. No question asked. And that fked up my niece and nephew over because the father was an abusive coward who behaves *accordingly* but acted like an ass in private. (Domestic abuse etc.) Both the kids input did not matter because the country favoured conjoined parenting - even the lawyer talked about how it would be easier/healthier for upbringing if you have conjoined custody. A view of idealism that would usually work but it didnt in this case. Due to court being involved, physical abuse was not evident but verbal abuse was still there and no one can measure that or prove that in the court of law. I just see the two of them constantly crying and it was terrible. So to an extent, I do agree that kidnapping children due to selfish reasons is unjustly, but in cases like this I would have been more than happy to see my niece and nephew run to Japan if we had the funds to do so back then - as we are a citizen. (I was also still a child myself so I lacked a lot of knowledge). His ex-gf, who dated the coward afterwards had evidence of bruises and physical abuse, and s*x video he record of her and him (unconsented), but the court still did not care and favoured conjoined custody. This also affected the ex-gf child who is not of his child, but before she met the coward. You know its fked up when his ex-gf came to us for help... and so in cases like this, and in cases like Japan - how do we solve it? Cz I am in a mixed state. Yeah its fked to kidnap, but when there is a country that is the complete opposite of Japan, what then too? What is the right way to do it? For us Japan would have been a safe heaven, but for the case listed in this video, it it is hell hole who favours the kidnapper. Would my sister be considered a kidnapper too if she ran to Japan back then? Not arguing against the video, just genuinely curious as to how people would solve a case like these. Edit: might delete later

[@guitarsaremyfriendzzz7077]

This is not kidnapping it is called sole custody. I agree it needs to change but calling it kidnapping is not the same. Kidnapping would be the other parent who is not granted custody taking the kid. Not one parent being granted custody.

[@Gyvie-marie]

Except in Japan, the parent who has physical custody of the child is the custodial parent. A parent can take the child away during divorce proceedings and the other parent will never be granted custody. I saw a documentary of this with several foreign ex-spouses who were granted some form of custody in foreign courts lose their child when the Japanese parent takes the child to Japan and disappear. The Japanese authorities will not help them at all.

[@akianimations3975]

I'm just glad they're trying to get that changed😥

[@gojirafan5437]

Wonder how many kids become missing from this.

[@teamkube6308]

Taiwan, France and Australia! That's Crazy!

[@PrayingForTheMeteor]

Being in the Navy, I heard about this alot. Thanks for addressing this.

[@MIS_right]

This is common around the world, it comes in different flavors ofc, but is in no way unique to Japan

[@DeadRabbit86]

Aki thank you for bringing light to this situation. A good friend of mine has a Japanese wife that threatens him with this exact thing when she doesn’t get her way. It’s not a healthy relationship but he is a very good dad and puts up with it because he doesn’t want to loose his kids.

[@duckdodgers3574]

You might as well insert all the custody history and every custody joke in here. This happens in any country, look for the case of Maria Sevilla in Spain, she kidnapped her son and daughter /different fathers) she had them in a terrible state yet Irene Montero, the minister of equality got her the indult and went after the boy's father for wanting to put Maria in jail and get his son back, accusing him of all sorts of things. Then you also have the loud case of Lucio Dupuy from Argentina; you're going to need an iron stomach for this one.

[@beev4289]

I feel like in some of these cases there could still have been domestic abuse but like you said it can sometimes be hard to prove, especially if its mental abuse (dealing with someone who is very controlling or makes threats all the time) Here in the states you can read about cases where women were forced to share custody because there was no proof of abuse only for the husband to kill the kid out of pettiness while the kid was in his care Not to say that there aren't just awful people out there who wouldn't kidnap their kid for no reason too. Some really do that to hurt the other parent. But I think its definitely something to think about in regards to why these women are taking their kids away

[@vkm9156]

When it comes to Japan, nothing surprises me anymore

[@brookelynn3567]

A lot of people never had to escape an abusive relationship with their mom, plan the escape themselves for their parent, or have their step-dad stalk them, and it shows. If a parent goes no contact with the kids, there's a good reason, no matter how "nice" the guy is to anyone else.

[@qwmx]

True.

[@catinacafe7105]

You raise an amazing point. Ty

[@linseydejager1716]

While this may be true for SOME (I'll even be generous and say MOST) cases where parental kidnapping occurs, it's not the case for ALL. A LOT of these cases are just because the parental kidnapper wants to be extremely petty and cause as much pain as they can for the ex-spouse, with little though or regard to the child's safety and stability. This happens more than I'd like to admit in my country... and the other parent often doesn't have the means to fight the system...

[@maybemints]

Weird

[@dontknowdocare]

Go look up news videos on this, there's several documentaries out their showing foreign fathers desperately trying to deal with their half Japanese children being abducted from Europe/USA to Japan by their mothers. Don't project your personal trauma onto other people.

[@かほちゃんとさんちゃん]

I have a 8year old kid and his mom just leave me cuz I was 22 ate the time and her 42

[@XpetraXpazlX]

Could they add no kidnapping to a pre nuptual agreement?

[@AlfredoMagbual]

i was just about to comment on how your hair or room was different and that it looked nice and then you said that you just changed the angle haha. it looks good, nice change to the video! also yeah im glad this law is getting changed, the kids are the future and they shouldn’t have to deal with adult decisions like this

[@francescosubrizi]

Hi! I live in Kōbe suburbs, and in the last two months I've joined as a volountary a support group for families in need (basically picking up kids from nursuring schools, play with them and sometime making them food waiting for the usually single parent to finish their job or giving them a little rest). I obviously don't want to invalidate the stories you presented, anyone who cares for their kid would be devastated if something like this happened, but from what I saw and heard, when a couple split up is usually because the man "get tired" of it (e.g. leaving your wife right after she gave birth to twins, with another kid already there): unfortunately, the sexism and the toxic masculinity make men kind of "entitled" to behave like this leaving women (that has already suffered sexism their entire life) the responsability of job, house work and care. Again, a parent that takes away a child is sh*t, but there's a lot of sociological issues to unpack here. It may even be that, due to the fact that society pressure a woman to be a wife and mother as the only option to be "a real woman", they snapped and decided to keep the kid for themselves. It's not an excuse, but it makes me think. (Beg you pardon, I'm not an English Native Speaker, may have spelled something wrong or messed up the grammar)

[@myr.aguila]

Late Shinzo Abe also did that to his eldest kid and his then pregnant wife. He took the eldest kid, and never allowed his ex-wife to contact his eldest kid. When the youngest was born, the kid never met his own father, and could only see him in the news.

[@nedialkodimitrov8501]

You are mistaking him for Junichiro Koizumi. Shinzo Abe and his wife were unable to have children. They were never divorced.

[@xemnasxiii3992]

I have to say i'm reminded of how bad this case of child abduction is as the french dude case is one i've heard of some 5-7 years ago, to hear it still hasn't been solved to this day is pretty bad

[@OnyxCarbuncle]

One of the things I like about videos like this is it shows Japan isn't the land of Milk and Honey perfection that so many weebs think it is just because its the land of anime and manga. It shows that no country is perfect and every country has its own issues that need to be addressed and fixed. Its just another country with its own customs. Is it cool af? Yes. But its far from perfect, like every single other place.

[@EmeraldMara85]

Dear Aki, the Japan "low" crime rate is because there's a "hostage justice" system in place which means no bail with no time limit (you can check the details on Human Rights Watch). So essentially the Japan police force confessions even if the evidence is wrong or there isn't any evidence pointing to the suspect they arrested. However this doesn't include corrupt politicians because they're protected all the time. This is why the depiction in Japanese manga about police, is one that they mostly ignore the crimes save for the few police men like the Main Character trying to change things. But even at the end of such series like "Shibatora" even then the author and artist (different people) have admited that the system is incredibly hard to change.

[@SakuraHime10]

Honestly, Aki would make an amazing mother! Thank you for spreading awareness about this issue as many children are suffering due to their parents' own conflicts.

[@Din_Kenobi]

Hey, Aki. I just wanted to say I love your content, especially the ghosting stories. I have a question about today’s video. Have you thought about having a sit-down interview with a divorcee who is going through a custody battle in Japan? I think it would be great to hear about their personal experience as a parent separated from their child. P.S. Are you planning to do more ghost hunting videos?

[@missfae4665]

The bed being in the background gives the video a more home-y feel. feels nice 👌

[@averageguy1261]

While your opinions are valid on many levels, it's coming from our societal beliefs. There shouldn't be an expectation that the Japanese should follow our norms. We are simply foreigners in their country.

[@moonlit658]

What is stopping the other parent from taking the kids back? I mean, all parent B have to do is wait for the kid to go to school and the kid is back to the parent with custodial rights.

[@Gyvie-marie]

No help from the authorities locating the child, as far as they are concerned, the child *is* with the custodial parent. Additionally, there are services available to help a person disappear in Japan. I saw documentary on it.

[@jordanvictoria5]

All I can say is this. If you marry someone from a foreign country you should do your research. Right now this topic is concerning kids. However in the eighties a lot of women were marrying Muslim men from countries like Saudi Arabia’s and Jordan. They thought that since these guys were going to school here and partying here that they were of the same mind of other western countries. They found out the hard way when they married and went back to their countries that this was not the case at all. Do your research. Find out if the laws are ok with you or something you consider barbaric. Is he/she going to stay here or are they going back home? People get homesick and what you consider natural and normal may just be experimenting.

[@ayoayo1044]

ive heard numerous cases like this form korea too! Even if the courts in both countries side with the foreigner(usually dad) Korean police refuse to enforce the court ruling even when they know where the mother and child are. Which is just so pathetic i cant even begin to describe how upset it makes me.

[@CyberWanderer101]

The more I read and see about Japan, not the happy kawaii side but the real Japan, the more disgusted I am about japanese politics, law and social norms. It's a country that has soo much good things aside from anime, manga and videogames. Rich culture, cuisine, historical sites, but all this is shadowed by predatory politicians and dystopian laws which only favor conglomerates and political oligarchs or those who hold overwhelming amounts of power, money and social influence. Similar to the west in some cases but Japan is reflected in how sad and dissatisfiedpeople look. You can disagree and all, this is just my observation, which could be wrong.

[@sweetscheme]

this reminds me of when kids were legally being kidnapped in disney(Florida) for being trans/looking trans

[@sikorilzcx4513]

How can you tell if a child is trans? Hopefully, the parents have not allowed the child to self-harm so young (up to adulthood). Please give more information about these cases, sounds terrible!

[@nutella7162]

What does self harming have to do with being trans in this case?!

[@catinacafe7105]

?

[@Sarawarawara-]

@@nutella7162 They’re transphobic, so they’re calling allowing a child to express themselves as the gender they identify as “self-harm”

[@sikorilzcx4513]

@@nutella7162 Trans-KIDS, not being trans. Don't turn my words into transphobia.

[@Pr1ya-Night]

This is a dark topic.

[@TempleofBrendaSong]

Remember Saint Junko.

[@huuffff]

It’s called the nurture doctrine why in the United States women get custody of the children almost immediately!

[@ScreamingSturmovik]

WOW this is reductionist, not only does someone who lived in Japan have no idea about how the culture functions going back over a millennia (family/clan went through the woman and kept the mothers and children together through "ownership", when there was a separation the woman was sent back to her family with the children) but also simply telling someone to "get over it" like their being a petulant child when you know nothing about it ya there are people who would do this simply out of spite but forcing someone to "grow up" and face people that show they don't give a crap about you through neglect or even something like infidelity is absurd

[@Bajoomboe]

Yup, I like the "it's me Mutahar" camera angle

[@MrCaonashi]

I am going through this now. My ex abuducted my children to Japan 2 years ago now. They were born and raised in the US, my youngest child had never even been to Japan before she took them. I have a case in the supreme court in Japan, the Tokyo court and higher court both denied returning my children based on ludicrous reasons. I am working on creating a channel to tell how this happend and what the process has been so far. I hope that with the other voices already out there, adding another voice might help change the system and not allow this kind of thing in the future. Japan at the moment seems like it is a safe harbor for kidnapping.

[@AuroraMoon2000]

When I saw the title I was like "come on it's not true. kidnapping is definitely a crime." But then I saw you were talking about parents taking their own kids, I was like, "ahhh right, that makes more sense." In many countries, they don't see that as kidnapping if the bio dad and mom is with them.

[@drkmercenary]

9:19 You have WAY too much faith in humanity Aki.

[@UniversalistSon9]

This happens in America too

[@Vexatl]

yeah but you can get the law involve but in japan the single parent is protected and you will never know where your divorce spouse is ever

[@Unk___9ly]

Off topic, but Aki looks so good with that hairstyle