King David

This is the beginning of King David’s story from the Bible, the books of Samuel. I’d like to animate the rest of the books of Samuel, but that would take an enormous amount of work, and not only would your support via Patreon be greatly appreciated, but would also attach your name to the project (DarkMatter Army or above).
/ darkmatter2525
Royalty-free music used:
“Prelude Tres Viste (BWV 995)” by Musicks recreation Milena Cord-To-Crax
freemusicarchiv...
creativecommon...
“Disco High” by UltraCat
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“Mutant Rises (Action)” by Grégoire Lourme
listenanddownlo...
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“Redemption” by Grégoire Lourme
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“Car Crash” by Jahzzar
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creativecommon...
“DZ” by Jahzzar
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creativecommon...
“Freedom soldiers” by Grégoire Lourme
listenanddownlo...
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“S1M4 2014” by Daniel Bautista
danielbautista...
creativecommon...
“Library” by Mister M
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“Space Opera” by Mister M
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creativecommon...
“Devil generator” by Master of the Subway Ninjas
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“End Game” by Per Kiilstofte
machinimasound...
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“Evening Fall (Harp)” by Kevin Macleod
incompetech.com...
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“Fire arrows and shields” by Grégoire Lourme
www.jamendo.co...
creativecommon...

[@BlocksNinja]

I once had a bible teacher who taught us that God wanted Saul to kill the Amalekites' animals because the Amalekites were sorcerers who could morph into animals. It's odd how in ancient times there were sorcerers and magic everywhere and now that we have cameras and such they are nowhere to be found, huh? How unfortunate

[@mikemillward1070]

Electric cables, powerlines and iron railway lines do much?

[@Roam-de-route]

indeed, interesting how they disappeared along with the unicorns and dragons after the invention of the camera

[@ibrahimismail7881]

The technology we have now is sorcery in a sense.

[@vanessadotson8067]

Maybe i can help u whit that, i know its been a year but here goes, God flooded the earth because 200 of his angel came down an slept whit womens there kids became giants some as tall as 36ft the angels also mix animals an humans 2gather an there giant kids ate man they were doing magic an all kind of stuff an thats why God flooded the earth an the angels kids God turned them into evil souls the 200 angels went to hell an there kids are here on earth hunting us humans, so fun facts an GOD BLESS US ALL!!! Amen 😇😇😇

[@johannfarmann8649]

Not that anyone would believe camera footage which suggested otherwise. It would be dismissed as a hoax. Who would take it seriously and risk being laughed at?

[@ProfessorBorax]

The buzzfeed infowars evil spirit is absolute genius, I'm so impressed!

[@BernardoPatino]

ProfessorBorax Kudos to the Twitter guy who suggested it. Someone tell us the username.

[@pickyphysicsstudent201]

Would the offspring not be The Young Turks

[@ProfessorBorax]

They would if the offspring of a black guy and a white chick was also white.

[@jonnynice8366]

I rarely laugh out loud about KZbin videos. This was one of those times.

[@fredrickgoodwill285]

Buzzowars or infofeed

[@DarkMatter2525]

This is the start of King David’s story, and his story has a lot of iconic moments from the bible, so I figured it would be good to give it the DarkMatter treatment. It could never be covered in one cartoon, so it has to be a miniseries. This fifteen minute animation only covers a few chapters, and I have around forty more to go, but I’m sure they won’t all need equal attention. I wouldn’t have even thought of doing it this thoroughly - as it’s a lot of work - if I wasn’t receiving the support I am from my patrons. So, thank you. You’ve really made projects like this possible. Also, I really appreciate those of you who have helped spread my work and engaged via sharing, commenting, etc, which helps me on KZbin.

[@iChopYouDrop]

DarkMatter2525 ily

[@mraj8372]

Awesome, Trumps Inauguration had a LOT of religious rhetoric in it. You should do a video on that.

[@terminator900000]

I see 15 min video i click like

[@danielessex2162]

DarkMatter2525 dude love your work.

[@FieryCharmander737]

Have you made a video on the end times yet?

[@unitic6378]

1030 BCE: "I'm sure killing in the name of God will never be a problem." 2001: 9/11.

[@stewartgoodwin9488]

9/11 was an inside job. You dont know that yet? Google "loose change"

[@eagledown2872]

Ur a dumbass aren't u?

[@sourgummiescureyourpain4555]

@@eagledown2872 *thou are a dumbass, aren't thou

[@rodprops]

@@stewartgoodwin9488 You beat me to that comment!

[@thedeekabides]

Haha haha killing in thr name of central banking interests. Iran is the only one left over there on their own currency.

[@DuncanUdaho67]

“How Beyoncé inspired a whole generation and then PLANNED 9/11!” This is the best channel I’ve ever seen holy shit.

[@winterborn82]

As a 9 or 10 year old this was the the story that started the end of belief for me. My dad had spent a lot of time and effort teaching me to think rationally before he joined so many others in the religious wave of the 80's. When I was taught this story it set off so many warning bells for me that it broke the concept that god was all good.

[@georgelyddane8283]

literally same story here except i’m 18 and this happened very recently. I’m honestly just disappointed. I put so much hope in this god, devoted so much for him for such a long time, I was genuinely happy, but it just doesn’t make any sense. Reality is often dissapointing

[@AurelianPropaganda]

@@georgelyddane8283What doesn’t make sense?

[@AurelianPropaganda]

What is do you think all good is?? Genuine questions. What would you say is the perfect kind of King. What do you think a King should do if subjects of his nation plotted a coup or go against a serious command of the king.

[@amysofia5783]

That cow was freaking adorable. More cows drinking soda = A+ content.

[@happymess3219]

Amy S 😊 i know right?... wasn't she cute?...

[@leeeastwood6368]

absolute bull!

[@davidh6300]

It's the simple things that people like

[@DavidSmith-xs3or]

Hell is only 200 miles below Detroit. Some people still consider Detroit to be like hell...although, downtown is experiencing a major comeback.

[@authenticallysuperficial9874]

100%

[@efe_aydal]

Thanks for going back to Bible stories.

[@kreynus5137]

Efe Aydal abi sende burdamiydin ya

[@huseyinkalkan3642]

Abi napıyon burda

[@Lovelylondly]

Efe abi de buradaymış be.

[@maddyg2320]

Efe Aydal.... You have beautiful eyes! Too bad you don't make vids in English 🤷

[@refulge9075]

aa efe aybi

[@mug9591]

Samuel L Jackson and Joe Pesci. Great combo. Samuel: The Lawd!

[@rjonboy7608]

Next installment: "Yo, Bathsheeba! Howya doin?"

[@theweirdestsmartchannel1842]

And rocky david

[@justsam7919]

In the name of the L A W D!!!

[@apollyon_616]

a sith LAWD?

[@Neurozumim]

Great quote: "Jeffrey, being God by defintion means that whatever I do can't be called evil"

[@CorePathway]

“Being president means everything I do is legal” - D.T.

[@S.D.323]

a real I am the senate moment

[@CRebel-by9fb]

"The women" "Ummm 77 percent dead" lol.

[@tijanajakovljevic6319]

JUST realised ahhahahaha

[@jkm7983]

I don't get it

[@aceandreimirandilla5391]

Why 77%? I dont get it either.

[@mchevre]

Because women make 77 cents for every dollar men make.

[@johnnygreenface]

MrGoat "earn" "over sever years"

[@grungefreak10]

So far, the biblical figures have been Arnold, Jeff Goldblum, Morgan Freeman, Sam Jackson, Joe Pesci, Sylvester Stallone and now Dolph Lundren as Goliath. Keep them coming, it's hilarious!

[@thebloocat]

He should've used Beckham

[@vanessadotson8067]

IS HELL HILARIOUS ?

[@rhaenyralikesyoutube6289]

There are quite a bit of contradictions in all of these Bible stories, but the "actor," choices are hilarious.

[@vanessadotson8067]

@Google is God You are to

[@bcbc8649]

@@vanessadotson8067 yes hell sounds hilarious

[@Talon323]

this is by far the best interpitacion of the bible ever

[@itsaboutthattime4425]

sakmi kuhl the best what???

[@jamesburkestephenking9333]

Roadman Onjob must be Spanish, right?

[@adolfodef]

Spanish: "interpretacion" English: "interpretation"

[@justincale119]

sakmi kuhl interretardation

[@billschlafly4107]

Put an "O" at the end and you get the Spanish equivalent-o.

[@mrpeanutbutter9882]

Ok, I watched this video and compared it side by side with that chapter of the bible and it is the same, the bible is so absurd lol

[@nocturnalrecluse1216]

As is any.

[@dirtywash4890]

I feel like the church either skimmed over this part...or really made it seem like SAUL fucked up.

[@ShokoFlow]

watch his genesis 38 one

[@doggoslayer5679]

No you didnt

[@imvandenh]

@@doggoslayer5679 As Vincent Vega himself would say, that's a bold statement. You must be omnipresent and omniscient like Yahweh, and therefore know all things including what that faceless unknown internet person did or did not do. So tell me, since you know so much, what color socks am I wearing? Fucking kids. When will you brats learn to keep your fucking mouths shut when the grown-ups are talking? So you doubt the guy actually watched the video and compared it to the Bible. Is that really so fucking hard to believe, dipshit? I did the same goddamn thing the first time I saw this video when it was new. Now a couple years later I come back to watch it again and I see someone else did what I did or they said they did anyway. And you don't want to believe it. Well thanks for sharing. Go back to your fucking corner.

[@jaghond2]

that buzzfeed-infowar abomination put the fear of God back in my soul

[@-kxvin-5239]

That "im god" thing is just as funny as when batman says "because im batman" in hishe 😂😂😂

[@NivekTheEnigma]

Batman>God

[@bloodknightazodrac9224]

@@NivekTheEnigma He just needs preptime XD

[@eatenbyjezebel5604]

Bloodknight Azodrac he can do anything with enough Wayne bucks

[@jirivrana9562]

Actually god is more funny than Batman

[@MrBDF2000]

This was amazing on so many levels, the demon, the sips of soda, the weaponized harp....next level writing

[@Incred_Canemian]

InfoFeed BuzzWar is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen.

[@akashicvariable]

ikr

[@ignisspiritustenebris7137]

"Interdimensional transexual issues are serious" -infofeed buzzwar

[@BlazingOwnager]

I lost it at InfoFeed BuzzWar. Both extremes in one horrible (in a good way ) character, lol

[@Dracopyre321]

“Top 10 Reasons Why Joe Biden and Donald Trump Should Be In A Remake Of Brokeback Mountain” -InfoFeed BuzzWar

[@jimmyglea]

I could have used this channel in the 70’s and 80’s. I was born into the fundamentalist Christian cult, went to church 3 times a week, and attended a “school” attached to the church. I always knew something was off about my “education”. It wasn’t until I began to deprogram myself as an adult that I realized how much damage had been done.

[@mamc1986]

I say do more of the following (I am throwing ideas out there): -The story of Jezebel -Danial and the Lions -Issac and Abraham -Cain and Able -A special cameo by...Moloch the Canaanite demon! -Stories that were ban from the Bible such as "the Story of Lilith", the story of baby Jesus slaying dragons. And let them be Jeffery and God episodes. These episodes are hilarious! LOL

[@amplelola23]

mamc1986 you forgot to add the atory of Ruth

[@rodprops]

Daniel* Abel* banned*

[@TSPOWELL89]

The story of Jonah

[@jirivrana9562]

Yeah true

[@davidvelasco4423]

Isaac and Abraham was adapted as the video game "The Binding of Isaac," which was created when someone asserted "The Rogue [Isaac] was in the Bible. You just didn't look hard enough."

[@MrJay_White]

got a 2hour & 5 minute advert from free presbi church on this video. flawless algorithm.

[@rahowherox1177]

Mr Jay White a profitable algorithm. many christians watch these vids, feel threatened by logic and compensate by being extra christian and seek extra indoctrination.

[@AnEvolvingApe]

r X, LOL! I never knew someone can be extra Christian-y?

[@nevadahiker6661]

Me too, was checking the comments to see if it happened to anybody else!

[@Chaosherold]

I got an ad for a hebrew bible or something like it.

[@thetruthrover]

Lol did you watch it?

[@Anonymous551656]

"There's a lot of snakes on this plain." I lol'd

[@emaginationproductions]

I JUST got that 😂😂😂

[@lynnevega1976]

I didn't get that please help

[@garrettwade1294]

Regret Incarnate Snakes on a plane in a movie.

[@BlazingOwnager]

God Better Call Saul.

[@maxuno8524]

😂🤣 I had to pause, while I died from laughter 🤣😂

[@The.Youtuber.with.no.Name.]

*''Pepe the frog is a perfect advocate for the LGBTQ community because the water turned the frogs gay''* Fucking genius.

[@Spiderific]

ִ lol that was my favorite part

[@mh4zd]

"Late, late term abortion..." Master stroke.

[@proculusjulius7035]

@KKKn50cal yeah and repubs are really pro life ..

[@andybee1381]

"Samuel, bring a cow with you and tell them you're going to Bethlehem to sacrifice it. That'll be your cover." Wow. Good thing Saul left a couple of cows alive then!

[@stewartgoodwin9488]

They had cows already.

[@snitcheyes411]

"There's a lot of snakes on this plane." I'm holding you responsible for the soda on my computer monitor now, lol.

[@hjorturerlend]

Plain* ;)

[@maddyg2320]

@@hjorturerlend .. No, plane is correct 🤦

[@stewartgoodwin9488]

Oh.. I get it now. Im like "thats not in the bible"

[@maxuno8524]

😂🤣😂 I died

[@steveswangler6373]

@@maddyg2320 no it's not. the reference was to the movie, but the reference was made on a plain, not a plane.

[@ganjiblobflankis6581]

Holy crap, there is a two-hour (!!!) advert for a church in front of this video.

[@15Redstones]

F5

[@maddiep6430]

Ganjiblob Flankis Good thing we have the skip button

[@carterblunt4192]

I actually don't have a skip button anymore, dunno why... I just refresh after about 6 seconds, usually it skips the ad... don't know if my PC Matic ad blocker is part of that. Sometimes it just gives me another ad, so I keep refreshing until I get one that's 20 seconds or less.

[@sakurakitsunestar]

that is both horrible and funny

[@angryhairpeice]

Ganjiblob Flankis It is a debate. I'm watching the whole thing, it is actually a good watch. Besides, doesn't DM get paid by the minute?

[@josephmellor7641]

This is the earliest I've ever been to any video. If you see this, thanks for all the great videos over the years.

[@monkeypuncher7242]

Joseph Mellor Same

[@josephmellor7641]

Randall Flagg It's a screen cap of some KZbin video.

[@ravinderkaur6664]

Duck Soup perhaps it is for the unwanted..

[@DarkFire0421]

It's amazing how relivent this still is in 2022

[@justafishoutofwater]

Relavant*

[@thethinkingbeing9817]

It’s weird how people say, “it’s only right if god actually said that” And yet they have *zero* proof that god did or didn’t say that.

[@spencerboock8554]

Making Samuel Samuel L Jackson is the best decision anyone has ever made

[@CorePathway]

Hebrew, mothafukka, does thou speak it? 💀

[@christianvennemann9008]

Am I the only one who got the "77% dead" joke about the women? If you didn't get it, it's a joke about the gender pay gap. That whole string of puns and inside jokes killed me! XD

[@azraki9794]

Ohh i get it because its over exaggerated and doesent exist lol good one

[@ryanfiocca]

Is it a wage gap joke? Or a keep the virgins joke?

[@misael8973]

I got it

[@stevebennion8601]

@@azraki9794 We already know dude I'm pretty sure that's the point of the joke. Anyone who does believe in that crap would fit right in with the buzzfeed crowd.

[@saladcaesar7716]

Christian Vennemann I thought it was because of the virgin females they had to spare

[@_the__christianing_2350]

6:08 the cow, god, and the sheep drinking from Samuel L. Jacksons straw, had me in pain. 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

[@GlassTopV.1]

These videos are making me rethink being agnostic and becoming full blown atheist...

[@Neurozumim]

Your agnostism doesn't need imply the ABRAHAMIC CANON.

[@alexandrorocca7142]

Join the club brother. I don't agree with Dawkins or deGrasse Tyson on that. I'm not "almost" confident that there isn't a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, I'm 100% sure of it, so why should I give more credit to any fairy tale, including deities? The number of believers doesn't make any claim more legit, in fact all the different beliefs prove the opposite.

[@unicyclist97]

Agnostic and atheist are completely independent. Gnostic Atheist: I know there are no gods (not many of these exist). Agnostic Atheist: I don't know whether there are gods but there's no good reason to believe in any of them. (Most people who identify as agnostic are also atheist) Agnostic Theist: I don't know whether any gods exist for sure but I'll believe in one anyway (Probably for cultural reasons). Gnostic Theist: There is definitely a god! (Indoctrinated Presuppositionalist)

[@Stan_Castan]

Virtuoso Joel "Indoctrinated". Shut the fuck up already. U don't know other people's life

[@Stan_Castan]

David J some, maybe, but I can choose, me personaly. I saw the power of the Lord everywere, and many other feelings, because I simply let the Holy Spirit in me. + The fact that David was actually the king of Israel. No one can deny that.

[@fitnessmentoringwithdaniel6006]

I would really love videos on Mormonism please! 😄🙏🏻 My wife and I left Mormonism about 3 years ago now, and we still have so much bitterness and anger towards the church.

[@TippyTappy98]

Deedum dee da dum; Joseph Smith was called a prophet dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

[@jaysonraphaelmurdock8812]

That would be hilarious

[@axeheadgaming5872]

lol the unholy alliance of BuzzFeed and infowars

[@CassesVultus]

"I'm sick of all these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plain" -- 1 Samuel 16:13

[@TRIGAROLA]

CassesVultus It's not "Hey, Zeus!". Third DieHard, 7:46

[@lisaboban]

"False flag attacks are a construct of white male privelege." That's the best thing I've ever heard on the internet! Ever.

[@oscarrimore]

LOL I just realized that you cast Samuel L. Jackson as Samuel hahahaha genius move

[@FigureUnboxing]

I remember this story from the Christian religion class in my school when I was in 10th class. My teacher explained it. She said the massacre was perfectly JUSTIFIED because the enemies were PURE EVIL. They did NOT deserve to live. Killing women and children was also justified, to avoid future revenge. She even praised god for being so intelligent to think of all future possibilities. Even back when I was younger, I disagreed with my teacher but what could I do? I didn't want to fail my religion class -,-' In my country, religion is one of mandatory lessons in classes where you surely do not wish to fail (the others are morality lesson and native languge lesson).

[@samuelschar9081]

cruel

[@Kindness8811]

I hope morality lessons were teached by another teacher. That's crazy.

[@morbidsearch]

Only 3 weeks to wait for a new DarkMatter video? Miracles do exist!!

[@TheUndefeatedSeason]

" I come in the name of The LORRRD!!!! " XD

[@demaloe]

No other channel excites me as much as yours. The best thing about your videos is that the quality becomes better and better after every video. P.S the use of Bach's piece in the background was super cool!!!!!

[@hotshotjcb3798]

"And an evil spirit from The Lord! tempted him". Strange how in the old testament "the Satan" and evil spirits are sent from God. This tune changes in the new testament like many other things. Very entertaining presentation, keep up the good work DarkMatter2525!

[@speedygonzalez885]

that buzzfeed/infowars joke was top tier 10/10 would

[@christiaanstephan4387]

You could say that joke was god tier

[@comradepolarbear6920]

Which one

[@Will-I-Maybe]

I came in the name of the LOOOOOOOOOORRRDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@ShankarSivarajan]

"Pepe the frog is a perfect advocate for the LGBT community because the water turned the frogs gay." Brilliant!

[@julzyboy8960]

I don't get it lol, could you explain the joke?

[@ShankarSivarajan]

Bullion Productions sure. Pepe the frog is a popular meme used by the alt-right, who are not known for being friendly with the gays, and one of Alex Jones's most famous conspiracies was that industries were deliberately releasing chemicals into the rivers to turn frogs gay.

[@lilbadahhkid]

@@ShankarSivarajan OMG GENIUS

[@ursinecanine9657]

Pepe is a toad

[@NicholasLaDieu]

@@ursinecanine9657 don’t be that guy. Lmao

[@nabils9837]

"In the name of the Laawwwd" 😂😂 gets me every time

[@tracysimon7972]

I thought Quentin Tarantino made this video for a second lol

[@alicebrobbey1124]

THIS is why I don't care how long it takes to get another video from you. Pure genius

[@evanblue179]

These videos honestly changed my life... I've always had question but I was always taught not to question God... Then I found the videos and they opened my eyes to a while new way of thinking... I guess I'm a "Born Again Atheist"

[@PaleGhost69]

DarkMatter2525 is awesome and is an epic content creator.

[@gstizzy3558]

the book of Ezekiel absolutely needs to be addressed through your interpretation. There must have been much acid being dropped then

[@S.D.323]

I particularly like the part where God lets ezekiel make food with bull shit instead of human shit

[@deanna1410]

You know what turning bible stories into REALISTIC cartoons rather than cute kiddie shows is exactly what this world needs. EXACTLY what it needs!!

[@Desertphile]

Still the best KZbin channel. Andf I wish this was tauight in all Bible schools.

[@bobbruce4135]

Great for teaching children elements of schizophrenia and why humans have greater levels than other animals for our primitive socialization mechanisms that accepts the indoctrination we are raised in.

[@mooredw64]

The quality of your videos has gotten so much better over the years. Great job!

[@yodie_yodarf8860]

*Sees Darkmatter2525 released a new video* : Moans

[@henryolsen6248]

*Screams in excitement*

[@TheBigAEC]

I jizz in my pants.

[@UDumFck]

Loren, you must be a lonely one because the thumbs up/down certainly does not agree with you.

[@ProfessorBorax]

unclic the bell ;)

[@aceofsalts0246]

*dramatically* "It's time"

[@probablywrongnews8915]

Great work. I watched this instead of going to church

[@LOLinsultan]

i always feel happy when you upload a video. i feel intrigued and u make me want to spread awareness.

[@astrizettep2597]

“I’m sure killing in my name will never be a problem” Jeffrey’s dramatical cough had me in the floor XD

[@Schrodinger_]

After the second Pulp Fiction reference I just knew in my bones that there would be a joke about Snakes on a Plane.

[@borissman]

Wooow! The quality of this vid was probably the best so far.

[@henryolsen6248]

God's God was better.

[@ravinderkaur6664]

Pink Floyd is the Best Band of All Time. the game goes as usual..

[@lordboogus1145]

Does that soda ever run out?

[@fandomguy8025]

God gave Samuel the gift of bottomless soda as thanks to his praise.

[@supatwisted5473]

The soda cup and the reference to snakes on a plane. check plus

[@johnnygreenface]

I didn't get that. XD there are a lot of snakes in this plane

[@Majik53]

Weren't they standing on a plain - a flat piece of land?

[@david2869]

Yes, huge ... tracts of land.

[@maximdoesacro6772]

You are the best channel on KZbin, hilarious! And changing the world! Your videos helped me through leaving Christianity with confidence! Thank you!

[@AnaseSkyrider]

Since I'm one of those "Always been an atheist" people, who's never read the bible, watching videos like this is a real treat because it means I get to look at the absurdity from a non-indoctrinated point of view.

[@AnaseSkyrider]

@KGB - Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti I have a little bit of that experience myself since when I was really young, I spent a few years getting into New Age woo. Kinda funny how I used to buy into shit like "crystals have feelings and they like to explore, take walks with your crystals so that the universe doesn't influence them to fall out of your pocket".

[@topmiacaremid7583]

This guy earns his Patreon

[@AntiCitizenX]

... hey, why is there a stereotypical 70s black dude in there? His name is Samuel? Samuel... Samuel? OHHHHH. I get it. :)

[@duvipearson6251]

lmao

[@phredbug_9660]

AntiCitizenX Samuel being portrayed by Samuel Jackson is a pulp fiction spoof/reference

[@potatosmasher1072]

You know that's Samuel L Jackson right

[@germanvisitor2]

There a a lot of snakes on this plane.

[@EdMcCornhole]

Dolemite Rudy Ray Moore

[@mankind-redefined1982]

12:48-13:04 I haven't laughed that hard in a while 😂

[@Coalemos]

It was pure genius. I had barely heard of Buzz Feed before, I didn't know what it was all about and I got everything I need for that.

[@C_Corpze]

The humor and jokes involved while telling these bible stories is priceless.

[@alexandervoronin7078]

If this is the "moral compass" offered then I prefer having my own.

[@ThatOneStuff]

That cow taking a sip of the drink was adorable!

[@edgarf3152]

This is some seriously good stuff, appreciate the work you are putting in.

[@garchompelago]

I cant wait to see David's 360noscoping skillz

[@suspiciousindividual7657]

HOLY SHIT!!! Just discovered your channel and i love it.

[@Unbiased27]

This is one of the funniest Darkmatter videos I've ever seen! Prophet Samuel. lol.

[@itsaboutthattime4425]

Made Samuel Samuel L Jackson. I'm dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@whipmyfro]

Roadman Onjob OMG. I'm so slow today. I just noticed that 😄😄

[@halfdemonprince]

Remember when they made Arnold Schwarzenegger Samson

[@mrpeanutbutter9882]

N.A. B. me too lol

[@ravinderkaur6664]

Jasmine Donald why the hell is hell..

[@ultimatereviewer01]

Roadman Onjob me too😂😂😂

[@josephdillard9907]

i wish like hell KZbin would stop letting people put religious ads in front of atheist videos like this...frankly it's insulting

[@rahowherox1177]

Joseph Dillard frankly, it is profitable. Most christians know the absurdity of their beliefs when examined in any detail and challenge their delusions by watching "truth". rather than cure them, it can serve desire for confirmation of their delusion and compensation by being extra christian. and the ads make use of this.

[@vladimirsukmeovf1211]

havent you heard of ad blocker?

[@angryhairpeice]

Joseph Dillard Those are the ones I don't skip. Don't they pay by how much was watched?

[@Dalthos2]

If you don't like the content of the ad, just disregard it.

[@josephdillard9907]

I don't like ad blocker cause I like to support the channels I'm subscribed to, and I know there is probably no way to control what ad is put where but it's just annoying If atheists started putting ads for free and critical thinking and non superstitious reason and logic all over the place there would no doubt be an uproar because of it

[@wafflezyum]

That demon is going to be in my nightmares for the next month

[@Morbidity100]

I like to think of Darkmatter2525's old vids as part of the Power Corrupts canon and my appreciation for these vids only increases.

[@Francois6048]

Getting the notification of you posting a new video gives me the same feeling like Christmas back when I was an ignorant child

[@prabhnoor_]

Oh man, Pulp Fiction and Goodfellas. I'm 6 mins in and loving it soo much. great great script

[@jamessabins887]

the BuzzFeed Infowars baby had me rolling on the floor

[@LeadGenWithDarryl]

I'm like a kid racing down the stairs to watch his favorite cartoon

[@kronosaraya]

Dude, what a work you do here! It's amazing how you manage to tell the stories in a so creative way, the quotes you insert to explain the hypocrisy that lies behind all that nonsense. Congratulations, you are a prodigy!

[@Bigcashmoney12]

I found your youtube channel and have been binge watching your videos for the past few hours. I can't get enough!

[@wjckc79]

The harp has a handle, a trigger, and a clip. Nice touch.

[@jebus6kryst]

I would think the offspring of Buzzfeed and InfoWars would be Brietbart.

[@luigiman8728]

he_who_is_nobody you insult the mighty Milo? OK, have fun with the hate comments.

[@jebus6kryst]

Luigi man87 Milo? Who is that?

[@_the__christianing_2350]

he_who_is_nobody No, it would be Anita sarkesian.

[@90hijacked]

neither anita nor milo have anything to do with infowars what so ever, others tho, have dubbed the offsprings Cenk Uygur ;-)

[@_the__christianing_2350]

90hijacked I know... I just wanted to blow off some steam. It feels good to relate Anita to something as fucking awful as buzz feed. ... that... fucking... bitch...

[@OBluePrint]

I can't believe I missed the Snakes on a Plane reference. This is already more epic than the Samson series. Can't wait for the foreskins dowry.

[@Voileen]

Woohoo! I'm in the Dark Matter Army! Proud to be a Patreon for you. I've been watching your videos for years now. You really helped me with my deconversion of Christianity. Keep doing what you are doing! You are helping a lot of people!

[@thatyoutubechannel9953]

The Pepe joke from BuzzWars was amazing.

[@pop5678eye]

Fun thing to think about: The Gospels were written well after the supposed death of Jesus, (and well after each-other) and not all of them identify his birthplace as that town. He is called Jesus of Nazareth after all. Christian dogma places his birth in Bethlehem so that he can be considered a royal descendent of King David through Joseph... Except Joseph wasn't his father. Very specifically Jesus is identified as the son of god and a mortal woman, (plagiarized from many Greek/Roman stories popular at the time the Gospels were written about Zeus/Jupiter fathering half-gods) not of a mortal man. So the whole purpose of inventing the story of massive migrations (of which there were no records) to have Jesus born in Bethlehem is already shot. Oh, and the very name Jesus... it's Yeshua in original Hebrew, a common name throughout the millennia that Hebrews existed. In English translations of Exodus it was translated as... Joshua... So any Christian zealot who claims that 'but there are ancient texts referring to a guy named Jesus who was crucified...' sure, no problem, it probably happened. In fact, it's likely the Romans crucified many people named Jesus. That does not mean all the stories about a single guy's divinity are true at all.

[@LATEXXJUGGERNUT]

YahWey == Your Way? Yeshua == Yeah sure? Lulz

[@oopsiepoopsie2898]

I think you mean Greek, the New Testament was most likely first written down in Greek

[@ccreativghost8148]

Other historians who mentioned jesus Mentioned him as Christos meaning christ There was only one jesus who was called Christ So get your research done well

[@ccreativghost8148]

There was a reason for them not to write the Gospels They thought jesus would come in their time, but the prophecies jesus said that will be fulfilled is gonna happen in our time, i.e, the rebuilding of Jerusalem Temple for the 3rd Time But it will be built for Anti Christ, by Jews, Muslims and Catholics, they will be united and forming 1 world religion Anyway, so later when desciples knew they are closer to dying they wrote the Gospels for future generations And Gospels were written 70 years after jesus death I dont think any man would forget events 70 years before We have people in our time who are 100 years old and still remember certain events in their life

[@SinHurr]

Great work on the hissing and growling. Can't be easy on the voice.

[@Schnittertm1]

It's very easy if you have frigging cold, congested nose, coughing fits, rough voice. I have one right now and when I speak I sound almost like that evil spirit. ;)

[@KenSamaGomenasai]

yeah, the buzzfeed infowars beast? Your most hilarious work yet. I actually laughed so hard I popped a blood vessel in my eye.

[@Atamastra]

This was fucking amazing DarkMatter2525! While your Power Corrupts series may well be your magnum opus IMO, this may be your best rendition of a biblical account/story to date. So goddamn clever you. Always a pleasure to see your wit at work :) Sam Jackson as Samuel, I assume Sylvester Stallone was David, the InfoWars-Buzzfeed demon, the stolen sips from Sam's drink, Jeffrey's usual counterpoints, all of it was just brilliant but I fucking died on the 'snakes on this plain' line. Caught me totally off guard!

[@xhs1028]

I'm a Catholic and I cracked up at the SLJ Pulp Fiction reference LOL. Great work, DM

[@silvispirollari7656]

When God says: Cause I'm God. I laugh so hard and thought Here we go again.. Also Lucy is so cute

[@bishop1412]

77% of the death, but 200 % of the mourning

[@moerko94]

"Because the water turned the frogs gay" XD

[@scarrasquillotorres]

I enjoyed the video as usual. Thank you Dark Matter, I love your work! ❤️

[@roncrouch5027]

Keep doing this. You are serving humanity. For real - don't stop. Ever.