Why Do We Cancel Arrangements?

What are the reasons we do this and what does it mean by reference to the type of appliance you are regarded as by us?

[@giselego47]

I got PTSD from all the cancellation and devaluation. She would cancel an outing planned weeks in advance on the day of the event to go to a similar event with someone else. No apologies or explanation. Now I overreact when people cancel on me. I even fired someone who cancelled the last minute on the 3rd strike. She was putting other customers ahead of me because she thought I would not mind because I was so nice. I did not complain the first 2 times but the 3rd time, the PTSD was triggered and I fired her - nicely.

[@demonhunter4030]

This alone should be reason enough to dump their sorry a**es. Disrespect incarnate is what they are.

[@susiep.7372]

Demon Hunter I agree 100% !!! 👍🏻

[@surgicaltoolboxrnhealthbea3292]

All done because of the severe weakness from the need to control. The weakness is the need to have supply to feel better. It's an allusion; you do not need it to feel good. To feel good on your own with your own thoughts must be practiced one step at a time. The actions that make you look bad and like a fool are figment of your imagination. Go deep inside you will see and begin the journey of not being awkward socially

[@Ebthehousesitter]

He would always cancel vacation plans last minute but only the ones that I planned. He never wanted to be surprised with day trips, birthday parties, or vacations. He wanted to know EVERY detail beforehand. One weekend I planned a trip to New Orleans to watch the Saints play and he was so mad that I’d planned it behind his back. Everything was paid for and I knew he had a free weekend. He threatened not to go so I said I’d take my brother with whom I am very close to. He hated my brother and I never understood why. As soon as he heard that his tune changed. Worst decision ever. He made that trip a living hell, giving me the silent treatment for an entire day. I was in disbelief. So I started recording his bad behavior with my phone in what I thought was an incognito way because I couldn’t believe that he was acting like this. He snapped out of it and faked his way through the second day, even posting pictures and creating a caption that looked like he took ME to New Orleans. He either cancelled plans or he made it completely miserable to be there with him. I finally told him no more. I won’t be taking anymore trips with you. Period. He immediately started planning a trip to Denver as soon as we returned home. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@shebutter3195]

Mine did the same it’s because they have so many supply sources to entertain and relationships

[@wheres_bears1378]

I have a friend that follows the same constant pattern. We make plans and then for days up to the arrangement there are numerous phone calls from him saying how excited he is and then always at the last minute like literally 30 minutes before he cancels with some lame excuse

[@terribletanner805]

My ex narc never wanted to go anywhere or do anything, unless she suggested it. Of course, breaking point was when I planned for a week that we would go for a meal in the weekend which she was seemingly enthusiastic about - she began an argument with me the day before and declared the weekend ruined, so she wasn't going anywhere. I told her she was boring. The formal relationship didn't survive the winter.

[@michellebarnett5154]

Terrible Tanner My narc did exact same to me , make plans everything is good and the day before or day of come up with some stupid bullshit to start a argument out of nowhere and plans would always fall through and he never wanted to go anywhere or do anything especially if he had to pay out some money on my behalf.

[@susiep.7372]

The pure evil...👹🤮

[@FK-cg8el]

Yes it happens More then 4 times Every time happened I just text back Oo ok no problem cool But next time I met her I said sorry I can't do this any more So left her Wasn't easy but I can't let someone walk all over me So HG Your kind is not in control after all We are Thank you for your hard work And have a lovely day 😊

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

My husband frequently does this to me. My time and effort are meaningless to him. I do believe he gets a kick out of upsetting me by canceling plans we've made. His typical response if I express displeasure is, "Oh well".

[@runwiththewind3281]

Thank you for helping me understand

[@hoth1009]

Control and power...sad sick disgusting individual..my ex did this so often I lost count..even with holidays.. i lived on my nervous constantly

[@kimora337]

David only cancelled once. .. I don't reset plans. .. could be why we did last long ... I did hear him call everything in his life an appliance. .I'm not sure why he wanted to get married even though he was aware I don't take alot of shit from anyone. ..

[@sophiasmith5949]

I think in some weird way I like the devalue stage.. ..... I say stuff on purpose to help it move along swiftly .... I don’t know what’s wrong with me

[@dulcemercedes845]

Sophia Smith me too. In a way I feel free while being devalued. My narc is not interested in controlling me while he devalues me.

[@marionlammers5554]

Have some self respect, dump the narc

[@Infern0121]

H.G, would you advise indifference as method of dealing with cancelling plans?

[@KnowingtheNarcissist]

Absolutely and the wound, make plans with someone else instead and make it known you are doing so.

[@susannec659]

I think you really want to go but then you are totally driven by fear. Mine once confided in me afterward, and he's done this maybe twice in a lifetime , confided in me, that he didn't know why he cancelled just couldn't bring himself to hold the date.

[@joanbaczek2575]

oh wow so when he would cancel plans at the last minute at noon or evening yet some how complain it was because my son used my truck in the am, he was really devaluing me needed time with new supply but some how had to pretzel it and make it about my son some how. why even put my son in the equation?

[@KnowingtheNarcissist]

Deflection and triangulation.

[@hippie86aw]

The band Mudvayne's song "Happy", perfectly describes the narcissist and the victims relationship. I recommend anyone reading this comment to read the lyrics to that song, it will hit so close to home.

[@Bar_Bar27]

Are young narcissists (late teens, early 20's) can be master at it and extremely sneaky? Cause i dated one met her when she was 19 and shes very very sneaky and subtle. Shes master at gaslighting and manipulation, lies pathologically. How is that shes so good at it at a very young age?

[@MrNimfomajka]

Same here bro, wondered the same, contact me if you want to hear mine and share your expereince with me

[@oxycleanlaundrydetergent6316]

i know what you look like h.g. :) hmm exactly as i had imagined.

[@KnowingtheNarcissist]

My horns and cloven hooves are delightful are they not?

[@oxycleanlaundrydetergent6316]

;) lol. glad you responded. thank you, h.g.

[@susiep.7372]

@@KnowingtheNarcissist You are so funny...😈

[@Andrea-sl8wd]

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[@Andrea-sl8wd]

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