Kramer Swims the East River

From Season 8, Episode 18 - "The Nap".
marathonswimme...

[@smitchix1]

"technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage"...best Kramer line. That is brilliant writing.

[@johnson24811]

Absolutely legendary

[@crystalstorms5006]

His CLUELESSNESS makes me physically ILL & nauseous with rage at his brilliant bs all at the same time. KraaaaaameRR!

[@JeffreyGillespie]

I was about to say it, but you beat me to it 😂 genius line

[@huertamj128]

Last month I was in NYC. Every time I crossed that river I couldn't stop smiling imaging Kramer swimming there.

[@austinmolitor7283]

*imagining

[@RG3FC333]

@Luis Collado no really? no fucking way? wow that’s crazy

[@vargas1569]

@@RG3FC333 how is that “crazy”?

[@vargas1569]

He wasn’t moving much. But he was out there

[@leftyseel8658]

Legend has it, if you stare without blinking for 30 seconds, you will see Kramer swimming there.

[@thomasharlovic7470]

the dad casually explaining mob hits to his kid is such an underrated scene.

[@jjturner4424]

Pittsburghites, amirite?

[@jarrodbarkley9061]

And I love how the kid smiled and nodded at him in response!!

[@afonsodeportugal]

@@Ktonrider He also has a hilarious scene on Two and Half Men!

[@danlower7834]

This feels like it was written by Phil hartman.

[@iannoome1898]

It's a very New York City scene, Seinfeld full of these small background character moments that really make the city feel real

[@trequor]

Kramer's "he just sunk like a stone" always gets me!

[@oulosvie]

The best bit

[@crystalstorms5006]

I KNOW! 😂 🤣

[@sortofanoakyafterbirth3661]

The visual of that old, short man disappearing into the water like a stone gets me. I love it. I'd be just as amazed as Kramer was. 😂

[@VenerableBede2510]

And nobody with any concern for the guy

[@JuddKramer]

If Kramer is "swimming laps between the Queensboro Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge" as Jerry says, that means he's swimming, at minimum, 5.8 miles between the two bridges. Assuming he does more than one lap, thats at least 23 miles of swimming in deep water without any sort of flotation aid apart from his flippers and webbed gloves. Kramer is one hell of a swimmer.

[@dan_hitchman007]

No river can contain him.

[@royalewithcheese7]

He also says that he does laps for 4 hours

[@henrybierman8431]

Kramer is literally him

[@MrEtherguy]

Lol! I just did the same measurements. I got 4.4 miles with a streamlined route. However, Kramer did say "four hours and I'm an inch taller." That would suggest he's going the full route if he swims at least 1 mile an hour.

[@James-kv6kb]

It's pretend lol

[@joegallagher2844]

Technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage. That's a solid point.

[@johnames6430]

Norfolk where? Virginia??

[@tanveerhasan2382]

@Luis Collado many of the US Navy vessels are docked in Norfolk

[@Rellbronjames9]

🤣🤣🤣

[@chasbodaniels1744]

That Kramer remark is on par with his “Jerry - Those are load.bearing.walls!”

[@joegallagher2844]

@@chasbodaniels1744 six-room luxury suite!

[@schaffy_]

Love that cheap looking set by the river. Classic 90s

[@JohnBonini]

"He just sunk like a stone didn't he?"

[@matthewtrout1440]

I don't know why, but that line kills me.

[@kitgusto2390]

One of my favorite lines on the show.

[@mbwhly]

I like to envision the weird round old guy just disappearing into the depths of the river until he’s no longer in sight.

[@sanbi221]

How unfortunate. The East River is endless. He will fall forever. -Raiden

[@InformationPollution]

I like how they just brush over the death of the old man

[@MrVagif1]

They werent moving much, but they were out there. XD

[@HupfDole87]

I love my women like that :)

[@technoai-01]

@@HupfDole87 This all of a sudden looked like a Reddit thread !!!

[@coffeejab3381]

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

[@leafbranch1872]

I dare say.

[@marccram2664]

​@@HupfDole87hold it, hot cosby

[@mikeg1378]

“35 geriatrics throwin elbows. It was like I was in a flabby-armed spanking machine” 😂

[@jamieczarnecki7718]

Lmfao

[@chasbodaniels1744]

Brilliant line.

[@InspectorCallahan.44]

" You people find your own river!"

[@Shapes_Quality_Control]

Hey! Nobody beats you!

[@williamhoo7787]

Legends say that Kramer is still looking for a place to swim peacefully

[@madjack1748]

I hear Lake Karachay isn't too crowded.

[@danieldougan269]

There's always the Hudson River or the Harlem River.

[@cirocciroc]

Love new retro! Saw the midnight last year!

[@mkailov13]

Stay Retro

[@catlady8324]

Those “Legend says” and “Legend has it” comments are Gold, Jerry! GOLD!!!

[@shaunbarnett2972]

Kramer jumping into the water, "GIddyup!!" is absolutely brilliant.

[@dashman8499]

" they weren't moving much, but they were out there."

[@trucututrucutu6071]

THAT'S WHAT MATTERS, NOT IF YOU'RE ALIVE OR DEAD

[@Mister.Cretsoo]

"Man I`m on the wrong floor again" hahaha

[@MichaelD8393]

Sees Jerry & jumps! 😂

[@jandy4604]

I've actually done that a couple times wondering why my key wouldn't work then I realized, "Man I'm on the wrong floor again."

[@SharinganMan]

@@jandy4604 yeah but he lives across the hallway. three feet from jerry's door is where he's coming from.

[@ruffusgoodman4137]

I remember entering office's women's restroom and was like "How come I entered the same door yet the wrong restroom?" Wrong floor again...

[@SteamGrace]

The Norfolk line has got to be one of the funniest lines ever uttered in a sitcom

[@morganzimmerglass9925]

Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage is one of my favorite lines ever. Also I always think it’s funny he goes to the East River when he lives on the west side way closer to the Hudson.

[@ConstantChinner]

Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage. LOL

[@bmillerdrums]

That is one of the funniest lines ever

[@PlatoonGoon]

what the fuck is your name.

[@nathanadkins2985]

He pronounced Norfolk the wrong way. Any of my Virginia friends feel free to comment.

[@civlyzed]

@@nathanadkins2985 I say "nor-fick", but most of my friend say "nor-fuck" :D

[@toptenguy1]

I swim for 30 seconds and I need a full minute to catch my breath. Kramer is super human! 3 hours!!!

[@stroyer2103]

4!

[@Kr0nicDragon]

Gotta pace yourself

[@moviedude22]

"That's where spike lee lives"

[@chrisd2051]

RIP

[@AllenHanPR]

@@chrisd2051 Spike Lee is still alive fool.

[@roflstomps324]

@@AllenHanPR is he though?

[@christophersuswal9544]

R.I.P Spike Lee

[@roflstomps324]

@Isaac Graham So? He isn't dead?

[@albundy6008]

you know what I think it is, I think it might be that East River. I think it might be poluted.

[@danieldougan269]

You don't say.

[@suzycreamcheesez4371]

polluted

[@bdsbckjdskl]

todd krager Kramer Is A Nut 😂

[@katieqmichaels2004]

I fucking died laughing

[@mistermonologue2442]

You strike me as a late 80's kid. Maybe real early 90's

[@Stevo935]

Kid using binoculars = same guy who eventually played Dabney, from Malcolm in the Middle. I knew he looked familiar!

[@yannick245]

Stevo935 true!

[@MrElfuete]

Now he(or she) is trans.

[@carultch]

Who plays his dad?

[@novakattila]

"See when the mob kills someone, they throw the body in the river" lol

[@carultch]

Kramer likes the East River, because it is where he swims voluntarily. Kramer dislikes the Hudson River, because it is where he was tossed while sleeping and mistaken for dead.

[@sensaiko]

Seinfeld was a great mix of fine writing and great slapstick humor

[@DaniAlva25]

"Well floating, they weren't moving much, but they were out there" How can anyone debate Kramer's logic?

[@defaultyorker6096]

From the Queensboro Bridge to the Brooklyn Bridge is somewhere around 4 miles. An olympic-level long distance swimmer would take somewhere around 2 and a half hours to swim there and back. Most people wouldn't manage that kind of distance.

[@stevefowler2112]

Genius writers and superb actors...the show about nothing was/is AWESOME!

[@danieldougan269]

I don't know why Kramer thought he could swim peacefully in the East River. Like Jerry said, it was the most heavily-trafficked waterway on the Eastern Seaboard. If he was worried about the water aerobics classes and divers at the pool, what would he do when a barge came along?

[@zachhaywood1564]

Technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage.

[@elephant_888]

Zach Haywood 😂😂😂👍🏽👑

[@willc5723]

Only the gowanus canal was more polluted

[@Kruppt808]

he should go in the winter, like the Polar Bear Club

[@tommeyer3840]

Its a tv show there pal

[@melasvarco4791]

“Well floating. They weren’t moving much, but they were out there.”

[@uraldamasis6887]

2:21 I love how he just happens to phrase the question in the one and only way that Kramer would say yes, lol

[@redtie8351]

Since the first time I've watched Seinfeld years ago the line "He sunk like a stone, didn't he?" pops up in my head unprompted for no reason. I don't know how to stop it from happening. I'm not complaining.

[@slavdef]

Kramer must be one hell of an olympic athlete if he can swim for 3 hours and still want more.

[@pforgottonsoul]

at the beginning of the episode he said he did 200 laps.

[@zachhaywood1564]

"Man, I'm on the wrong floor again..." LMAO!

[@chrisd2051]

That's me at work

[@Will87]

I'm not sure if Phil Hartman had passed by the time this episode was aired, but he would've been awesome as the father explaining to his son about the mafia, east river, etc.

[@ffp08]

i swam in the deleware river during the 90s, i do not get sick, well rarely yes, but my immune system has had practice

[@prushimush]

This post makes me miss the weird tasting tap water from Philly. There are two water treatment facilities on the Schuylkill and one on the Delaware. Stark difference from NYC and its fancy Catskill reservoir water.

[@malice6557]

this man is immune to coronavirus

[@Ibelikemj]

That seems rancid

[@chasbodaniels1744]

Yeah, NYC has a terrific water supply. Amazing foresight to build that system, and to upgrade it decades later.

[@lordchancellorhatton1910]

I like how Kramer starts hollering after he puts on his swim stuff. "IT'S GREAT FOR THE BACK! 4 HOURS IN THIS CHOP AND I'M A FULL INCH TALLER!"

[@tavoiaiono7885]

Hahahaha the way he dives into the river always has me in stiches. hahahaha

[@chasbodaniels1744]

The short old man uses a similar diving technique.

[@theunderdawg.]

Every second of this show is brilliant

[@kamsavart]

Those swimming scenes were actually shot at the Universal Studios Hollywood backlot.

[@1dJHorY1]

+Andre Wallace I would assume they didn't actually go in the East River. Were you there when they shot this?

[@kamsavart]

+Horatiu L years ago on the Universal Studios Backlot tour we passed by a giant water tank where the guide pointed out that it was used for swimming scenes in TV and movies. One of them he mentioned was Kramer swimming in the east river.

[@mgtowtalk3402]

Ya the water looks real nice

[@flisko123]

no no, they were in the east river

[@theislander9034]

Horatiu L it's on the interviews..it was a water tank at the universal studio

[@DaBish21]

Love the noise Kramer makes at 3:06

[@basedbattledroid3507]

One of the few times that Kramer's obsessiona actually became popular with others.

[@gbbenner9382]

"over there is Brooklyn, That's where Spike Lee lives" lol

[@templeknight9338]

When that old guy said "step aside", I felt like he should've finished by saying,"Wormtail, so I can give our guest a proper greeting."

[@templeknight9338]

AVADA KEDAVRA! 🐍

[@valdavna1597]

So wait, this all started with people making fun of Kramer then ended with people copying his actions ? Smh Kramer is a genius.

[@stevefowler2112]

I wish I had a neighbor like Kramer...it would be such an exciting life.

[@Boss_Tanaka]

Really? You really want someone storming unannounced in your house more than every now and then even when you’re out, checking your fridge, borrowing your stuff without asking, giving back your stuff broken, eating your food, drinking your drinks, smoking cigars in your living room, messing your couch, wasting your tap water, wiping his mouth in your quilt while eating in your bed, inviting the people you hate, pouring blood in the cooling system of your car, not to mention he would visit your parents … Sure you would never be bored. You would be too busy cleaning his mess and fixing your belongings

[@ayjay23]

@@Boss_Tanakagiddy up

[@timothypruitt4578]

Well, given where his career currently stands following... The Incident... you could probably get Michael Richards himself for whatever cash you have in your pocket.

[@bigdickdolly]

​@@timothypruitt4578wah wah get over it

[@LB__1]

That's impressive that Kramer can swim laps between the Brooklyn and Queensboro Bridges. That would be between 5 and six miles one way. He would have to be in serious shape to do that.

[@lundylow]

"Flabby armed spanking machine" feels like a term that could loop back around and be meme-worthy 20+ years later.

[@donnythedingo]

That "Giddyap!" was the funniest thing I've seen in television history. Puts the looney tunes to shame.

[@12classics39]

“Floating. They weren’t moving much but they were out there.” LOLOL

[@Vision_Voyagers]

That's some quality father son time I gotta say.

[@LoneWolf-oz2mq]

I've learned not to tell people about my favorite places to go especially when it comes to swimming in freshwater otherwise it becomes over crowded.

[@albundy6008]

I'm lucky. I live in Michigan and we have 3 of the Great Lakes (Superior, Huron, and Michigan) and thousands of inland lakes. There are many great places for swimming, boating, and fishing.

[@gavinlamp5426]

"No, that's probably just a dead body, son." Only a New Yorker would casually say this... And a Flordian.

[@BrianBull]

"man I'm on the wrong floor again" Haha lives next door

[@jmh508]

"He just sunk like a stone, didn't he,"....I don't know why, but is one of my favorite lines in the show

[@DEADG6D]

4 hours in this chop and im a full inch taller - lol its those lines why i love kramer so stupid

[@jonathonwallen]

He just sunk like a stone didn't he?

[@justinlevine3936]

did he die

[@YaowBucketHEAD]

@@justinlevine3936 probably. He was old.

[@nikkimatheson66]

That has got to be one of the funniest Kramer lines....He is a Legend..

[@larryx2159]

He just sunk like a stone didnt he,my favorite line

[@cugamer8862]

I love how he just flops into the water.

[@nabiltarantino1202]

i'm here for this 3:06

[@openscholar9908]

😂

[@tristanauspride]

Over there is Brooklyn, that's where Spike Lee lives lmao

[@otomicans6580]

Just before Brooklyn got cool again.

[@ThisisTedWells]

3:05 - "He just sunk like a stone didn't he"

[@squashhead1374]

If our society goes on for another million years there will never be a show as great as Seinfeld.

[@skierprincessakify]

I agree

[@cazeycroland4]

“You people find your own river!!” LOL

[@Kruppt808]

i love Kramer always has obscure facts at the rdy.

[@Hakuromatsu]

0:30 BEST DAD EVER

[@ES-fg2bf]

“Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage.” Great writing.

[@caitlinkilkenny9433]

Oh my God i forgot about the technically Norfolk has more gross tonage line. I laugh out loud at just how casually he rolls right into the comment like it's obvious information that everyone knows. One of my favorite lines of his

[@rstevens1836]

One of my favourite episodes. 😆 but Is it true Norfolk has more gross tonnage?

[@CatchQueen]

An absolute classic lol...just had a rather similar experience...immediately remembered this

[@danieldougan269]

You swam in the East River?

[@CatchQueen]

No. I went through a flabby-armed spanking-machine.

[@SeldomPooper]

"You people find your own river" :-D

[@malatisaha9238]

"I saw couple of guys floating but they were there" Kramer just wants to swim even if he is surrounded by dead bodies.

[@davidr.wilson8194]

If you really swam in the East River youd be in danger of a shark attack.It's mainly saltwater and sharks come in from New York Bay,sometimes.

[@huskyfaninmass1042]

I understand it's not really a river.

[@gweiloxiu9862]

"A flabby armed spanking machine"

[@brahsumatra]

“Over there that’s Brooklyn that’s where Spike Lee lives.” 😂

[@grahamfloyd3451]

They must have had so much fun shooting this episode lol

[@dw5000jf]

Giddyup!

[@nasim09021975]

goodness gracious, Kramer cracks me up so much!! haha :D :D

[@LivingTrancefully]

no one can deliver like him

[@CelticNawabi]

i hate it when i go snorkeling and it is crowded.

[@kennybegeske8824]

That's is the funniest I ever heard that Kramer swimming

[@rstevens1836]

One of my favourite episodes. 😆 Its frustrating when everyone gets the same idea as you. Nice to see Jerrys place looking different sometimes. Is it true Norfolk has more gross tonnage?

[@MzuMzu-nx1em]

What a father, greatest educators ever ,

[@SkiKoala]

Still makes me think of the episode where Kramer was tossed into the Hudson IN A SACK.

[@cerealfamine1]

Also one of the funniest scenes in the show. Lol

[@Saturnize7]

0:37 Boy: "Hey there's a man swimming in the water!" Father: "No... That's probably just a dead body son. You see, when The Mob kills someone They throw the body in the river."

[@richardmorrissett9023]

Kramer’s line about,” They weren’t moving much, but they were out there.” Is similar to his carpool line, “ You should see the smiles on the driver’s faces, you gotta look quick, but their there.” After explaining to Jerry how he removed the menacing lane line reflectors, and turning 4 lanes into 2 for a comfort cruise

[@MiC-T]

The "stone" old man, I used to have those exact Billabong surf trunks.

[@America100000able]

LOL They are building a beach called Brooklyn Bridge Beach right next to the East River. Soon you will be able to swim like Kramer..........

[@billythekidnax]

"Find your own river" 😂 😂 😂

[@smar3167]

47 people need to find their own river

[@daverogers5609]

4 hours in this chomp and I'm a full inch taller.

[@Masterandnoob2]

I had forgotten about Jerry’s kitchen remodeling 😆

[@AWSOMEPOSSUM16]

Yeah, she was. She gave birth to her son about a month after this episode aired.

[@letyvasquez2025]

I looked across the murky water, through the congested currents of defecation, over the questionably inanimate float-amabobs, and I could see a faint emerald glow, calling out to me. In that moment I knew I was morbidly delirious, not to mention pathologically dehydrated, so I made my way towards a buoyant clump of glowing trash and had a nap, Jerry.

[@carmineagrigento8245]

" I'm on the wrong floor again "😂😂

[@ShroomKeppie]

The East River isn't really a river though, is it? It's more like a passage from the western end of Long Island Sound to the Upper New York Bay.

[@jameshaggerty8348]

It’s more of a hiding spot for unsolved crimes and murders in NYC.

[@HealeyBrianT]

Technically, it's a tidal estuary.

[@RIUUI007]

Episode aired Apr. 10, 1997. Hartman was murdered May 28, 1998. I agree, he would have been perfect as the father.

[@MrGahbage1]

1:12 Virginia represent!

[@jsp5544]

"But they were out there"😂😂😂

[@justinlevine3936]

Did the old guy die

[@thagrammarnazi]

David David Nah, he went to a retirement home in the sky.

[@yadayada9581]

Rotten Roy Yes

[@mgtowtalk3402]

He was in a rush to do so