Kristin Talks About Being An Indigenous Person

[@kitchenandjorn]

Hey y'all I know it's two personal videos back to back for ol' kitchen and I appreciate your being respectful while I am being vulnerable. Thank you, Nay:weh! EDIT, PLEASE READ BEFORE COMMENTING: I adore most of you, but for my own mental health, I'm going to start deleting comments that are people not getting that this is me talking about a journey of healing tremendous trauma and not a light fun space for you to talk about how your great great great great great whoever was Cherokee or to ask if you should also take a DNA test. If you are commenting these things you are fully missing the point. Please stop. Thank you! --Kristin

[@laurenschenck5355]

I love you Kristin for sharing everything you are strong 💖

[@kristinkane7463]

Nay:weh from a fellow Kristin 🖤

[@Christinasgifts]

Its your show we love you y opologize you n Jen are darling wonderful humans do you we will watch🥰

[@amandalickers6502]

I am Seneca/Mohawk. I am from one of the largest reserves in Canada Six Nations of the Grand River... If you want to reach out I'm more then welcome to help you with what I can.

[@SLYCoopaEatsChicken]

nonononononono I appreciate YOU for being vulnerable

[@fancydeer]

when Kristin said Jen told them "I think whoever put together this family tree is looking for you" I cried. Kristen's mom and Kristen had a whole other family out there missing them all these years, wondering where they were and nobody knew. Kristin doesn't have to explain their Nativeness but sharing this journey with us is beautiful and painful and I'm very glad they have.

[@jenniferestes5293]

I started to tear up also.

[@shootingatspiders]

Same ❤️

[@dizzytunt3004]

Oh yeah, I just started sobbing when I heard that.

[@Amanda-bk1dl]

I also cried!!!!

[@thee_erica_hernandez3277]

Me too! That was very emotional.

[@suddenlyvlogs]

"I am all of my identities. Simultaneously." When I tell y'all I got chills

[@werepanda4991]

Literally tearing up over this why does it hit so hard??

[@ahhh4117]

As a stacked minority that hit HARD

[@amybenham1796]

Hi, I’m indigenous Maori from New Zealand and the part of the video where you said someone sent you a plant and they said “you might find that they know you and you know them” make my eyes water. Ah. I feel like that’s a very indigenous experience. I feel that about water & the ocean. It’s very beautiful and healing.

[@kitchenandjorn]

I have ALWAYS felt this way about water and then I found out my ancestors were from the finger lakes region in New York. ❤️

[@amybenham1796]

@@kitchenandjorn it always ends up making sense! If I wasn’t indigenous I wouldn’t understand. It’s like the earth is part of us.

[@phoenixdavida8987]

​@@amybenham1796 but not of anyone else. right.

[@amybenham1796]

@@phoenixdavida8987 I don't care

[@shaneekabatty-cross]

​@@kitchenandjornI'm seneca

[@laurenjohns7276]

Fellow Haudenosaunee here who is also trying to reconnect; I'm Oneida on my dad's side. I felt similar to you in that it didn't seem to be my place, so THANK YOU for sharing what your native friend said about it belonging to you. It made me cry! It was total encouragement to claim my ancestral history and own it proudly despite not being raised in the culture. Thanks for being open!

[@tinamosher-gibbs3881]

Fellow Haudenosaunee here as well. I was adopted and this really hits home. I grew up in the 70’s, and unfortunately the blood quantum was really a thing. I appreciate this video.

[@Samantha-oz5ht]

As a metis person, who is the only one in her family that presents heavily as white. I sympathize not wanting to talk about it because of outside criticism and blood quantum. Best of luck on your journey Kristin!!

[@kitchenandjorn]

Thank you, I appreciate it!

[@livfellows5960]

Do you think you'll ever get to visit your tribal homelands? Also I really like your hairstyle think I might have to try that on my hair. Have a really nice night and good luck on your journey

[@Kim-jq4xk]

I’m Métis as well and I feel this so hard. ❤️

[@Samantha-oz5ht]

@@Kim-jq4xk I hear you. My dad (who is white) tried to convince me that I was not Metis enough because of genetics. I also still get comments from inside my family regarding my blonde hair and that I don't look anything like my grandmother who was a prominent metis elder and our family matriarch. It can be difficult to feel like you belong in the space, but that space does belong to you.

[@apriljk6557]

@@Samantha-oz5ht my great grandmother said your skin color doesn't make you Native, what's in your heart does. I know the comments hurt and can make you feel like you don't belong, but you know who you are. Hugs. BQ is genocide.

[@zedstar]

I love how Jen is looking at Kirstin this whole video. She's so proud of her friend for going through the journey and for sharing it.

[@newtpollution]

As a patrilineal Jewish person I totally understand the quiet, personal disappointment of learning where you're from only to swiftly discover that you still don't technically belong. Congrats on your journey 💙

[@jillsarah7356]

Jewish person here and you DO belong 💙

[@Tea_Tales_Travels]

You should talk to a local Rabbi and tell them how you're feeling and that you'd really like to connect to your ancestors and possibly convert. I'm sure they will be happy to help :)

[@cerebratt2752]

I’m also patrilineal Jewish but I was raised Catholic because my dad didn’t have a strong connection to his religion and my mother then didn’t convert. It’s hard because there were paternal family members that died in the Holocaust and we now don’t know who they were or what exactly happened to them because both of my father’s parents have passed. Like being Jewish is a big part of my family history but I myself am not. It’s a strange feeling.

[@JocyHannah]

Fellow Jew here 👋 you absolutely do belong xxx

[@leagratch8718]

Jew here too, and you totally beliong Reform shuls are warm and welcoming x

[@HulluMel]

I'm an indigenous Karelian and I've also been reconnecting around the same time so its super nice to see you going through that as well!! 🥰 Your ancestors are proud of you.

[@kitchenandjorn]

Nya:weh!!!!

[@kitchenandjorn]

YOURS TOO!!!

[@LaurenClemison]

As a child of an adopted person who has never wanted to find his bio family, I totally get the wanting someone that looks like you around. I’m the spitting image of my dad, but I have no female relatives around that look like me, elder or otherwise. My moms side is all very petit and teeny tiny, while I’m this like tall giant curvy woman. I never thought about it, but one night when I was particularly insecure my fiancé said “I bet you look like your dads bio mom.” And it changed my whole world. Thanks for helping me realize this is an experience others feel too.

[@heatherkaye8653]

My mom was adopted, we know her mother, but no information on the father. I too feel so foreign amongst my family because I don't look like them, I even hold pretty different values compared to them. My siblings used to tease me that I was found under a rock, and ya know, I really grew into feeling it. Maybe one day I'll do one of these dna test and get answers myself, but outta respect for my ma, I'm not going to as long as shes alive.

[@alyssaedmundson3071]

My dad also had no interest in finding his bio family. With his permission, I found them and we connected about 8 months ago. It’s been a wild experience. I was lucky enough to find a welcoming group of people who were just thrilled to know we existed. You just never know what you’re walking into when you already know that your parent is like the “family secret” and you surprise strangers with that information 😅

[@panselinapendragon1731]

this is such a sweet story

[@adriannawhite3256]

I never met my white paternal grandmother and it dawned on me when I had a baby girl and my dad said ‘ wow such strong (maiden last name of the family) genes!’ And it hit me. I’m not big and tall and weird. I’m big and strong and powerful like my 6’2 large strong German woman grandmother and that made me feel so much more comforted ( also I have half native as well so hoping to have another sence of this as well on the other side at some point) Thank you for your comment that was a lovely reminder❤

[@dawnhankins9534]

@@alyssaedmundson3071 my grandma went through that 'family secret' when she found her birth father. One sister wanted to talk and they have reconnected. They talk every week now. 2 sister and a brother refuse to acknowledge to her. It hurt her, but she understands, it was their dad(her bio mom was a teen) who was a politician.

[@niteflitetheknitter]

Jenn is such a great friend and business partner! The way they can find humor in sincerity and consistently show you she cares is so fantastic! I especially love "I don't wanna work today, let's do research on your family!"

[@tc2904]

I agree! The way she was just nodding and looking at Kristin with so much support! I love it!!!!

[@yesterdaydream]

Right? I'm so glad the two of them stuck together after buttzfeed

[@grey.exe-stopped-respondin2725]

Hello! I’m part of your younger crowed and I’m Indigenous! The white side of my family removed me from our culture and stopped my grandma from sharing our culture with me. Now at 14 I’m reconnecting with her and the family I haven’t seen in years. It means a lot to me to see someone I look up to like you talking about things Iv been told to shut up about my whole life. Now I’m working on learning our language and teaching my siblings our stories. I cried happy tears watching this video, thank you.

[@hwagner717]

I really relate to this-I don’t know how many of my ancestors were native but my family basically ostracized my great grandmother and it feels like my family has colonized itself?? It’s an aspect of history and colonialism that is hardly talked about

[@Peach-Juiice]

Kristin talking about finding people that looked like them really warmed my heart - I don’t look like any of my family members, but a few years ago we found a portrait of my great grandmother and I cried the minute I saw her because she looked just like me. Seeing yourself in your family and in your culture is so important.

[@Ginyasha]

"someone is looking for you" had me sobbing. I am so happy for you and honored you're sharing this with us.

[@KimberleyNasty]

"I think whoever put together this family tree is looking for you. I think they know you're missing and they want to find you." Okay, now I'm fucking sobbing. Goosebumps. FUCK.

[@hightalk7335]

I cried too!!!

[@Twylitegalaxy]

This hit my heart SO HARD.

[@walkingorchid]

This shit got me. I’m not native, but I am adopted. I’ve never tried to find my family cuz my adopted family has given me more than enough trauma for both 😅

[@noliven17]

Not native but I had a similar experience. I found this family tree of a lot of my family, along with a forum post from a decade ago looking from my grandfather and his family. It turned out to be his cousin, who he grew up with, before they fled from Germany to different countries due to the Holocaust. Unfortunately, the man who wrote the post has since passed (though he did learn that my grandpa was alive and well beforehand, thank goodness), but I got in touch with his son, who was happy to know we are here. It was a really emotional experience.

[@curiousfirely]

For anyone who isn't aware of the history, in the 60's many indigenous children were forcibly removed from their birth families and placed in homes with white families. It's a pretty dark chapter, and I can fully understand Kristin not wanting to talk about it. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixties_Scoop?wprov=sfla1 Please delete if this crosses boundaries of what should be shared.

[@kitchenandjorn]

This is OK this is history and people should know! It isn't *exactly* what happened but it's in the area

[@Rose-jz6sx]

@@kitchenandjorn sending love and solidarity from Ireland, the Catholic Church perpetrated the same institutional evil here against women (unwed) and children as it did the native peoples in America. We also have unmarked mass graves, children sold to wealthy couples (while their mother's were told they died), all sorts of impossible to understand cruelty, generation upon generation of trauma... Truly evil. I'm sorry that your mom has been touched by that, I hope if she's been hurt by it that she's now healing.

[@lilchanightshade119]

This happened to my high school teacher.

[@josefinegreen7835]

@@Rose-jz6sx thank you for saying this. I was really feeling ways watching this but I am not indigenous. My dad was born to an unwed mother in Ireland in the 1950s and adopted to the US. I'm named for his bio mom, and 50 years later we have reconnected with her some, but very few others because of the shame and stigma and the heavy presence of Catholicism my whole life.

[@11shawna11]

I was going post this as well. I was wondering.

[@mgooding8]

“I am all my identities simultaneously” is such a gorgeous phrase!! 😭

[@laurasharp7461]

I love how Jen was like "I don't feel like working today. Let me uncover your entire family history! "

[@dancersingerlover]

When Kristin talked about seeing herself in others from her tribe, I almost started crying because that has happened to me one time. My bone structure and blood are the two things that connect me to being Native. But I am too scared to look for which tribe I am from. Blood quantum is truly what I am scared of. So proud of you for find your community!

[@katievilcan1593]

Just curious, why are you scared to look at which tribe you’re from?

[@itoshiibaka8267]

Wishing you bravery and a welcoming family when you overcome your fear.

[@ladyalmathea7610]

I love how this channel is becoming more and more personal, and we get to experience that journey with you 💖

[@kikiayanna]

I completely agree thank you so much for letting us in to this part of your life

[@angeb1177]

As a first generation Asian American, I can empathize in some ways. It’s like I am this but am I really? Am I allowed to? What if I mess up? Am I cultured in my ethnicity enough? Do the people in my extended family want to connect? It’s obviously different but I really appreciate you opening up and sharing parts of your journey with us. Rooting for you ❤🥳

[@angeb1177]

I’m so happy for your healing journey and it truly makes my heart happy

[@angeb1177]

I want to give you a hug

[@catrice1296]

Yea im taiwanese american but me and my sis actually look a little less asian than most east asians and more importantly taiwanese ppl. Although i found out before my grandma passed that way back when we had some dutch in our family which is why me and my sis (esp my sis) often get mistaken as mixed (actually someone asked if she was white once) even though both of our parents are taiwanese. Its weird how genetics work bc im pretty sure the dutch blood came from when taiwan was colonized for a brief period. Although my sis has forbidden me from taking dna tests bc govt+personal info security issues.

[@cass1478]

“My dad is the part of me that pays my bills on time.” Lmaoooo good dad qualities

[@OhKay13]

Bozho tawi! Hello cousin! So glad to see someone else like me talking about this. I’m Bodwewadmi (Potawatomi) and we are always learning more more. My grandfather went through boarding school so we lost a lot because of that. Adoption/kidnapping is so damaging and is still something going on that needs to be talked about more. So glad you are doing this good work and working to be a good ancestor 🍓

[@karagreywolf]

Boozhoo cousin. I am a CPN Potawatomi. Mellot line. Glad to see family on here.

[@cassiebush8288]

Bozho relative I’m Bodwéwadmi as well, I’m Gun Lake Band.

[@Vannabee13]

My great great grandmother was left orphaned on the Trail of Tears and was adopted by a Pastor. She spent most of her life lying about her identity even to her own kids because she was afraid of them being taken from her and forced into the boarding schools. My mother's grandmother was her youngest child and the one she lived with until she died, and for all we know might have been the only one to find out the full story which got passed down to us. I don't care about getting to claim I'm "x%" native. It's preserving her story that's important to my family. This woman's whole identity was almost lost.

[@24carat_]

This video made me cry so hard. I can't claim any part of the indigenous experience, but I am Korean and I've only started learning my language and connecting with my culture in college. It's been incredibly difficult as I don't have any contact with a lot of extended family members as a result of coming out a couple years ago. You sharing your vulnerability in starting your reconnecting journey is so powerful and resonated so deeply with me. I'm sure it hasn't been easy, but you are so incredibly strong and I know that your ancestors are proud of you. Thank you again for sharing your story with us

[@kitchenandjorn]

Reconnecting with your culture is always so powerful and it can be really healing ❤️

[@marielpare8290]

"This belongs to you. You're allowed to have it". I just cried.

[@botanybaybeauty2394]

I actually went on the opposite journey. I was raised Native through my mom with the understanding that my Grandfather was the Native (Cherokee) relative. I got an ancestry test because I was curious about more details about my black side and found out through it that my Grandfather was actually an adopted white person raised in a Native family (we finally got the truth from his last living sister). So I've been going on a journey from being a full participant to being an ally which has been a real trip. Almost painful, having to almost let go of part of myself. But I still love all of the traditions I grew up with and what I've learned from my grandpa and his family.

[@andres.5204]

Even though you may not have native blood, you're still part of a native family :) You were blessed with being raised in the culture and that doesn't change. I'm glad you're keeping with the tradition.

[@serenityq26]

uhmm girl, adopted families are still FAMILY! yall too attached to this blood shit. thats why folks dont know about black panthers WHITE brother who was adopted raised as a prince of wakanda BEFORE t'challa was ever born. we dont do that mess in my family. no half no step, we are FAMILY no matter what are colors or how we came into each other's lives. my cousin has a bunch of kids she didnt even legally on paper adopt but she calls them her kids, she raises and takes care of them, they are FAMILY. your dad was raised cheroke, that is the ONLY life he knows. that is YOUR heritage, dont disconnect from your father for modern wokeness bull

[@AlwaysKDawg]

These DNA and ancestry tests can be devastating. My grandpa found out that he doesn't share a father with his sisters, which honestly is something we have always suspected, but to have it confirmed that his dad wasn't his biological father, it kinda made my grandpa spiral for a bit.

[@mellie4174]

Ok I have to agree. The people who loved you, raised you and made you who you are, are your family and more important than blood quantum. You were raised as a member of that culture and that community and you are therefore an equal member. Going around defining people by blood only is very colonialist and racist in my opinion.think Hitler who killed millions of European Jews because of their blood when they were clearly culturally European! Utter nonsense. You are who you were raised to be! You are the people who loved you!

[@Rose-jz6sx]

The culture you were raised with is your culture even if not by blood.

[@perksofbeinganna]

Kristin: this is a light video Me: already cried twice As a non-native person i obviously don't understand your specific experience, but as someone whose one side of family was exterminated in Auschwitz i absolutely see how the experience of reconnecting and looking up those archives can be traumatic. My grandma survived the work camp but and grandfather escaped during transport - but his brother couldn't and all we have is his name and prisoner number which my grandad found after the war, but never managed to gather more than that. I plan on driving up to Oświęcim (where the concentration camp stands) and look for his picture but because of the pandemic and and all together stress i couldn't really find strength to do so. I'm so so happy you've managed to find your family, Kristin. I'm sure they love having you 💜

[@kitchenandjorn]

Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

[@KimberleyNasty]

I love that you're recognizing that while you may be white passing, you definitely have Indigenous features. I've always thought "Kristin looks a lot more Indigenous than they do Italian." Embrace and celebrate it baby!!!

[@kitchenandjorn]

It's true!!!!!

[@serenityq26]

she was never white passing to me. i was just like "i dont know what she is. latina? mixed asian? who knows"

[@violetsanddragons]

I thought she looked kinda like one of my friends when I was younger! I dont remember her name but we used to be really close.

[@catherinenelson8110]

As someone who is also the child of an adopted parent, I completely understand and admire you standing up for your boundaries. This is your family's story and no one is entitled to the details except you and whoever you choose to share with. Thank you for the wonderful video, I learned a lot and I wish the best for you as you continue your journey ❤

[@PokhrajRoy.]

It’s actually cool to see someone who pays such a beautiful tribute to their heritage. 👏🏽

[@Lawlzinator]

It's more for her own brand and dopamine from the attention she wrongfully receives from people like you. She's about as genuinely native as Elizabeth Warren.

[@geralynlovell5616]

So sad that so many people are made to feel shame in reconnecting with their non-colonialism heritage and history. Languages stomped out, cultures stomped out, hidden/lost paper trails, family connections lost. It has happened to my family on all sides except the English/French side. There should never be shame in being who you are.

[@emmarobins377]

As a reconnecting Indigenous person myself (in Canada) this was a super lovely video to see! Reconnecting to roots that have been previously unknown or disconnected from is such a difficult but rewarding journey.

[@treason6661]

Reconnecting is... Hard. I'm super anxious about everything, even though I'm in contact with my dad's family, and I visit him for a few weeks every year, but I'm still anxious about asking how to go about designing regalia.

[@kitchenandjorn]

It really is ❤️

[@LindaC616]

@@kitchenandjorn Skunny Wundy: Seneca Myths and Folktales, to give you some of the stories from the longhouse. (My grandma-maternal-said she was Seneca. A nephew was lucky ooking into my great grandfather Welcome....but we always thought they were from NY, now it seems he could have come from Canada. It's totally possible that I'm 1/4 Elizabeth Warren, the jury's still out 😄). But that, and Tales from the Longhouse, though it's more fun to hear them in person.

[@maxinekobinski4777]

"I think they are looking for you" - immediately I was in tears. I am so glad you started to re-connect.

[@AFriendlyWeirdo]

Knowing your mom was adopted in the 60's hit me right in the heart. Over the past years my family has been reconnecting with more family who we lost in the 60's. Some of them even coming to the family reunion we had in 2019. Congrats on your journey!!

[@wahinemaorikiri7363]

This was a beautiful episode. As indigenous māori from aotearoa I felt that with every fibre of my being. I see you and celebrate your sovereignty 🤍🤍🤍

[@kitchenandjorn]

Solidarity friend!!!!

[@Ellaburrr]

I'm not sure about other subscribers but I absolutely appreciate when you are open with personal problems, revelations, and triumphs so I love videos like this and the last one posted. Thanks for being vocal about the topics you choose to be vocal about. Love you both. ❤️❤️

[@PlsDrea]

i actually started crying when they brought up getting in touch with their cousin. THATS why this is important. I'm so heartbroken but also I'm so happy to hear you reconnecting

[@harpurr53]

I am a white settler on land indigenous to the Onondaga nation, and hearing your story about connecting to one of the Six Nations that I remember learning about in elementary school and seeing at countless state fairs has really reignited my interest in becoming a better ally to Native/indigenous people. I really, really love that you've been able to begin the journey of reconnection, and I hope that it continues to be fulfilling and beautiful in spite of the intergenerational trauma present within the journey. You're doing great!!

[@karlaordonez]

It must be something wild to be Indigenous on land settled by Anglo-Saxons in North America, and have access to records and archives to trace lost family histories. As a Quechua person with roots in Paucartambo Peru, records are hard to com by and the idea of indigeneity is different in Peru.. All I have are the Stories orally passed down to me by my great aunties and grandparents. I carry them in my heart and retell them to my younger cousins in the hopes they'll remember and keep our stories alive. Much love to you on your journey Kristin!

[@fridasaavedra8460]

As a peruvian with quechua ancestry I can say that you can always find ways of connecting with your indigenous side, it just takes time for you to see it. My grandma is from Ayacucho and I'm realizing how much of her culture is part of me: the cheese and bread we eat, the way she cooks. She doesn't remember the languaje because she never passed down with anyone and she migrated when she was 15, but I try to connect to our family in my own ways. Hope you have a great day hshshs

[@ehlakhsd]

​@@fridasaavedra8460 My grandma is from Ayacucho too ❤. I feel like I don't have enough of my ancestors culture in me. She is the only grandparent I have left and I often worry I won't remember her stories or I haven't asked for enough of them. I know a handful of words in Quechua though she doesn't like to use it. She also left her hometown young and lost her parents young. My grandpa on my other side was great at keeping records and had many kids with stories, so I'm thankful for that!

[@kimberlynqutailguq6566]

I absolutely love that Kristin is reconnecting! Amazing, love to see it. My mom is fully white and my dad is fully Inupiaq. I grew up in my Native village, had contact with both sides of my family and I too struggle with imposter syndrome. Not feeling "Native enough" (in Alaska "Native" is used more commonly than Indigenous) is definitely a result of colonization, blood quantum, and the ongoing efforts to erase our Indigenous cultures and identities. Hold on strong to your roots! Proud of you ♥

[@itchy7879]

The realization that your biological family was trying to find you had me TEARING UP omg that's so heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once

[@medakahn5497]

i’m not native but i’m jewish with similar tenuous connection to my heritage and i have very similar feelings to so much you described in this video. thank you for this kristin

[@AmberRooster]

totally related to this as a jewish person too -- given the genocide we experienced and the heavy assimilation in response to antisemitism combined with a desire to become more white, a lot of us are mixed white or just not raised with it as part of our lives. there is so much beauty and knowledge in jewish tradition and I hope you feel connected to it! i am also a kahn :)

[@a.schmidt3096]

Hi! Just wanted to pop in and say that I’m Jewish too, please know that we accept and encourage all Jewish people interested in learning about their heritage and culture. If you ever want or need resources on finding a Jewish community near you, Google is your friend. And so is Chabad, an organization with branches all over the world.

[@L2615]

@@a.schmidt3096 Hi! I recently learned about having Jewish heritage too (through my grandfather). I’m not a religious person in general either but would love to learn more about the culture if I’d be welcome to.

[@a.schmidt3096]

@@L2615 Of course! Here are some online resources for learning about Judaism and Jewish traditions/culture: General Online Resources: 1. MyJewishLearning 2. Chabad 3. Aish 4. ReformJudaism 5. JTS (Jewish Theological Seminary) Educational Organizations (they all have websites in English): Pardes, The Hartman Institute, Mechon Hadar. You may also be interested in checking out Birthright and Hillel if you're a college student or college age person. Good Luck!

[@enolagay2323]

As an Indigenous person, I’m so happy that you are reconnecting with your heritage. I am part Muscogee Creek and Hopi. I was traditionally raised Hopi and it wasn’t til well into my adulthood that I began to connect to my Creek side. There’s always more learning we can all do. The point is to keep our ways alive for the next generation. Thank you(Askwali, Mvto) for sharing this journey with us.

[@Tomorrow_lauren]

Omg. The "my paternal Italian side pays my bills" line is so spot on for me too 😆 it's so awesome to see you reconnecting, the joy on your face when you talk about is so inspiring. Wishing you light and love on your journey! 💙💙💙

[@kitchenandjorn]

Lmao to be clear it's not his Italianess, it's just his personality!

[@BeckaBoutique]

I just want to take a moment to thank you for making this video. My young adult daughter is half European (from me) and have indigenous (from her dad). Our relationship ended before she was born and he chose not to be around so she, like you, was very connected to my history and not her paternal history. Recently, over the last few years, it has become very important to her to reconnect with this familial history and repair some of this generational trauma. She has tried hard to have these conversations with me, but I just couldn't really understand it. Hearing this from your perspective, it gave me a whole other insigt in to what she was trying to say. I sent her this video and told her to watch it because I think she would really be able to connect with it. And thank you again for this....

[@plutopepsi578]

I had no idea Kristen is indigenous! I’m so happy you can reconnect with your culture.

[@karienlow9938]

You've pointed out some very important things that I have been struggling with in my own family history. I am part Cherokee and because of others using or abusing the "I'm Native" claim, I haven't talked about it as much because I feel guilty about it just like you did. It's still a part of who we are though and we deserve to rejoice, learn, and even teach others how to be humble about it. Thank you for the kind and wise words in this video.

[@sonorasgirl]

Same. I don’t talk about having native ancestry cause it feels…s&@$ty to - the whole white peoples claiming it stuff. But now I’m wondering if it’s bad not to cause the reason it was questioned in the first place was for racist reasons (my great great grandfather being ostracized because he was native and my great grandmother being “taken in” by the white side of the family). Not trying to make it about me, it’s just given me food for thought.

[@rhirhi16]

This was amazing!! As a Diné (Navajo) and Yaqui person, I was so happy to see this! Part of de-colonization is reconnecting to your roots and people that were very intentionally stripped away by ways of adoption. Thank you so much for sharing!! Ahéhee’!

[@miaclee]

Wow “the plants know you and you know them” literally made me cry

[@jalynnakins]

❤️🖤❤️🖤 Ax̱ toowú sigóo! This makes me so happy, Kristin!! I’m from the Tlingit tribe in Alaska and have been following this channel for maybe a year or two and I love feeling like I have another connection/reason to love y’all! I’m 2S/bi femme enby, this channel/space is becoming more and more like home 🥰 Gunalchéesh - Thank you!

[@kitchenandjorn]

Thank you so much!!!

[@Rose-jz6sx]

What's 2S? I've never heard that term before

[@deadlykota]

@@Rose-jz6sx two spirit! its an indigenous specific term to describe people who have both the spirit of male and female! i think its an absolutely beautiful tradition thats been around for a good while in native tribes

[@Rose-jz6sx]

@@deadlykota ah thank you! Yes I've heard of two spirit just didn't recognise the shorthand

[@ivylear]

So I'm somehow just seeing this now and I just wanted to say thank you. Sending love to both of you - Kristin for being vulnerable and sharing your and your family's story, and Jen for being such a lovely, unassuming but utterly supportive presence throughout the video. The warmth and depth of y'all's friendship is truly so beautiful to witness. And Kristin, sending you best wishes in your journey of reconnection.

[@RagnarokLoki2012]

I'm not an indigenous person, but it's wonderful that you're doing the hard work of reconnecting with the parts of your heritage that imperialism/colonialism has tried to take from you. I'm Bengali but have never met any of my father's family, and am planning a trip there to see them (whenever it's safe to travel there again). So lovely to see. :)

[@HanGojira]

i cried so hard when you talked about you knowing the plants and them knowning you. im asian british and i constantly feel like im just so homesick, like i just want to go home to Japan and be with people who look like me and share my culture. im so incredibly happy for you that you're going through this journey Kristen

[@paige2567]

That “hole inside you” that you’re healing makes a lot of sense. When I moved out of my parents house, a lot of their culture stayed with them. I felt like I wasn’t a German American anymore. Actively choosing to live in your culture is something so beautiful + makes our country really special.

[@floatinglotuswomenswellness]

I have to thank you for sharing this story. I'm 75 now, and my only knowledge of my mother's family was that, when I was 5, we took a cross country road trip and on the way back from the east coast we spent a night with her aunt (so my great-aunt) on a reservation in Oklahoma. Auntie Ruby was so kind to me, the little blue-eyed blond girl and I still remember sitting on the porch of her trailer with her and watching the sunset. I know my heart felt that connection and yet my mom was so ashamed she didn't want to talk about it with me at all. You've made me want to see if I can find out more about where I come from. Again, many thanks - I guess it's never too late. And yes, you are making your ancestors, your elders, all proud.

[@DieAlteistwiederda]

You might not be able to meet these family members but you can still meet others who you belong to.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

“Enjoying the joys of your culture…” is something we all need. ♥️

[@naxp42]

thissssssssss

[@naxp42]

People don't talk about how ealing from any trauma, opens up a lot of opportunity to experience abundant joy and wholeness. I am so proud of Kristin for saying this!!!

[@Sambubdo]

A lot of Europeans loathe when Americans celebrate their heritage

[@Nabnana7x]

Kristin!! This is so amazing and I'm so grateful to hear about your experience. I could talk about this all day. I'm a citizen of the Chickasaw Nation and struggled with similar questions of "nativeness", and have spent hours with my father tracing back our Chickasaw heritage through ancestry and trying to find adoption records for my ancestor on the Dawes Rolls. Even for those raised all their lives knowing they're native, the question of indigenous identity is still a major issue. Being able to connect with your heritage regardless of "how native you are" is such a unique and heartwarming experience that I tell everyone to pursue. I'm so happy you get to have that experience :)

[@hmsviking]

God I felt seen watching this. As someone who has known I was native my whole life, seen my actual "native looking" elders in my family, and is an actual registered citizen of my nation (Cherokee), I still get a lot of shit from people because I don't look like what they expect. I appreciate the term white native because it is important to acknowledge privilege while also celebrating your ancestry! Wado Kristin!

[@Eli-um6gx]

I'm here with you on that! Grew up knowing about my background and registered with the Cherokee Nation but I look white, and I was mostly raised "white". The joke in our family is that we're a matriarchy, but I've always felt disconnected from the culture. It was very affirming to see someone taking a similar journey of trying as an adult to reconnect.

[@bellsthesultana]

I always laugh when i remember a dude genuinely asked me "if youre arab then why are you white? Were you adopted?" after he saw my grandma, godfather and mother. I FINALLY got to unironically say "omg Karen you cant just ask ppl why theyre white"

[@crazyunderworld]

I’ve never met another ‘white passing native’, bc my dad is full and my mother is some but I definitely got none of my native physical genes as someone who also grew up knowing her whole life her background and registered with the Sioux nation. My father left my family pretty early in my life so I was never to close to certain cultural aspects as he was. Although I did get a certain mindset from him because I was old enough to understand, and as I grew older change my mind about certain things.

[@mndyD9]

Same

[@KLH-or3vk]

Hey Kristin! I'm also Cayuga from my mother and Seneca through my father! Im full native, born and raised on Six Nations Reserve. I'm so happy for you that you were able to get in contact with people that make you feel closer to your native heritage💗 It definitely gives a sense of belonging to educate yourself further; as someone who's learned our history and cultural values/knowledge all my life, Im always learning more because it feels rewarding to the soul, so I totally understand what you're experiencing at this moment! :) So happy for you and wish you well on the journey of exploring your Native ancestry :) (p.s the pronunciation for Haudenosaunee is "Ha-den-no-shown-nee" and Onondaga is "on-na-dah-gah")

[@kitchenandjorn]

HELLO COUSIN!!!!!! And thanks for the help I appreciate it!!

[@kitchenandjorn]

Slash if you are on any other socials, lemme know so I can follow!

[@TheJBee92]

Kristin what really resounds with me here is how beautiful it is that your family tree has formed a kind of found family as well if that makes sense? I know for people with intergenerational trauma or lgbtqia+ folks, found family and communities can be so affirming, so in a way your journey has given you both because you actively sought them out. I know that this seeking for a lot of people (such as yourself) is out of a personal necessity and that can be caused by oppression or colonialism, but that is also what makes it beautiful. That even the act of existing in and building a community starts to do the work to reverse those negative powers. Thank you for sharing and I hope this made some sense! Xx

[@ahhh4117]

In a way the LGBT+ culture and legacy have also gone through a period of something like genocide which isn't a perfect analogy but its understandable (the AIDS epidemic) and as a result our community and history has suffered for it, I remember the first time I meant an elder gay it was so cool. Like he knew I was kweer somehow and just told me so many stories about his life and his history, and it was the first time I felt like I had a future. This man lived through a time where a lot of his friends died, where however hard it was for me he had it harder and he survived and he was alive to tell me about it, and I could do the same

[@proudtobeinvisible]

Admittedly my knee jerk reaction was to dismiss this and roll my eyes. Mostly because of my own experiences with this- I’m half Mexican and white passing in the south. I’ve had to fight my entire life to be labeled as Mexican, and to have my identity respected. While other people with seven times great grandparents who were native get to claim such and not questioned. I got bullied for wearing traditional Mexican clothes because I wasn’t respecting the culture by someone who wasn’t even Mexican but claimed their five times great grandmother was a Indian princess. It felt like they were wearing native culture As a costume and not as something as deeply personal as what I am. Mexican culture and practices inform every single part of my life and seeing someone just cherry pick the parts of their supposed heritage they wanted felt wrong especially considering they were choosing religious things to use as aesthetic. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m glad you are reconnecting to every single part of your culture and not what you think is cool or on trend. Welcome to the native community my friend

[@ahhh4117]

I'm a full blooded 2gen pale Mexican who went to a white school, and I'll be honest that the way people treat you doesn't change regardless of the percentage. What helps me feel confident my cultural identity personally was knowing that in Mexico my ethnic and cultural identity goes unquestioned. Everyone pale, brown, black, or indigenous is Mexican. Honestly surrounding myself with other people of color especially other latinos gave me a space to where I no longer feel like I have to prove myself because only non-latinos (esp white people who think color=race) think you have to look a certain way to be from a certain culture.

[@jlopez665]

@@ahhh4117 nope, you are a full blooded American. God you sound ridiculous. I’m actually Mexican (born) and Spanish (second nationality). I’m Mexican not Spanish. Do you even hold a Mexican nationality? I find it hilarious that a “Mexican” (who isn’t even really a mexa) is behaving like such a Karen (American)

[@ahhh4117]

@@jlopez665 do u want me to show u my citizenship papers (i am dual citizenship and was able to do that through my parents)? This isn't a competition. I worded it like that differentiate between OPs being half Mexican. Why would I lie about that? I'll admit I'm not the best at explaining myself, but i don't know what you want me to say

[@87crazycookie]

I relate so much! Half Mexican half white euro and I’ve had so many people assume I’m other ethnicities or just assuming I’m only white and I honestly only interact with my Mexican side of family since I was a kid. I want to connect with that heritage more because I didn’t grow up with those customs esp in the PNW

[@jlopez665]

@@ahhh4117 yo you are American, not Mexican American, American. Be proud of it. I also have a doble nationality it would be moronic if I started claiming that I’m Spanish, showed up to work with traditional sevillana outfit and referring to myself as Spanish Mexican, thanks for the passport but I’m Mexican. But hey you at least cover one Mexican stereotype “Mexicans are proud of mexico when they not in mexico”

[@ariagauthier9374]

As a trans woman, discovering my native heritage has been very emotional and interesting. Im mostly white passing, so it’s been a struggle. Reconnecting with my Cherokee heritage is important, but it’s also so hard to really start to make these connections. Proud of you.

[@ariagauthier9374]

I’d love to be able to chat with you about this, very interesting and beautiful journey.

[@kitchenandjorn]

Wow I am glad you are finding the things helping to make you whole!

[@DianaAmericaRivero]

That's beautiful. Especially since there are many native/indigenous cultures that don't have the same hang ups re gender that White-Eurocentric cultures do.

[@JeanneAnneASL]

I definitely started crying when you said that your family was looking for you. What a profound statement on being wanted and desired - you are a missing piece of them just as much as they are a missing piece of you.

[@dat1ndnguy]

You've definitely always had the "Native woman laugh" when my Ma & aunties get together you can hear em a mile away. They're also pretty sarcastic, great sense of humor! Have you checked out "Mohawk Girls?" & "Reservation Dogs?"

[@kitchenandjorn]

Ok I love this comment so much

[@katesanders2219]

Now that you say that, I hear it!

[@imma_cat]

I was thinking the same thing about her laugh! I know native women with this laugh.

[@LindaC616]

Your comment made me think of the videos/TikTok reviews Patrick Willie did on his channel, with "the Muppet laugh"

[@BarbBondVO]

THIS! They totally have the laugh! And when they were talking about their mom I said to my daughter, “We know what she’s like without them needing to describe her. She’s your Grandma.” 😂

[@janetescobedo9777]

As soon as you started talking about your mom being native my mom went to “its makes total sense” you have a lot of indigenous facial features. I’m really glad you’re reconnecting!

[@lilndnfeather]

I can see it in her appearance. That’s what I thought to once I clicked the video. I was like “yeah, I can see it she looks like she could be one of my cousins or aunties.”

[@IrisCrescentMoon]

This makes my heart so happy! I am not a native person but I love hearing native stories and seeing folks get reconnected to their communities. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@TheRavenfish9]

I love the amount of complexity that you included into this discussion to educate many of us while sharing your experience. Thank you for trusting us to share it. We support you on this exploration of yourself, Kristin!

[@saragoose]

My mum was adopted - it was so great and weird and fulfilling when we met my her biological brother - he looks just like her, and his kids looked just like me and my siblings. And I can only imagine that feeling is amplified even more when there's a whole cultural and community connection that gets made as well. So excited for you to have this amazing journey ahead of you and I love that you're generous enough to share it with us. Thank you.

[@aliciar3814]

If anyone is looking for more information on Native adoption and the trauma around it, I suggest listening to season 2 of the podcast THIS LAND! Season 1 is also great and taught me so much about Native sovereignty, but I think Season 2 addresses many of the things that Kristin is alluding to in terms of why people don’t want to talk about adoption.

[@kitchenandjorn]

Yes!!! Good rec!!!

[@marshavilkas3512]

This just made my day. I grew up Swedish in an Indian family, but much of family history on my dad's side really reminded me of Kristin's story. My paternal grandparents (we are Sikhs) fled from Pakistan where they had lived for generations to India when the partition happened in 1947. My paternal grandmother also grew up a religious minority in Afghanistan as a Tajik, but she and her parents left for then British India when the Muslim-dominant population began oppressing religious minorities. It's amazing how our much our history defines us. Thank you for sharing your story, Kristin ❤

[@jonniesacobie9490]

As a maliseet indigenous women that is also two spirited! I am so happy for you and your journey to your identity. I love you channel so happy you’re sharing your story ❤️ Woliwon- welalin-thank you

[@amayaakane7216]

It has been such an incredible honor to see how Kristin is exploring and discovering themself. From sharing their mental illnesses to playing with their pronouns to see what is best for them to this video, they have shared so much vulnerability on this channel. Kristin, Thank you for your courage and for letting us into your life and modeling for others how to embrace your whole self. I appreciate both you and Jen so much. Thank you for the content that you make. 💖

[@CandiceLemonSharks]

*reconnecting indigenous person solidarity fistbump* I'm even earlier in my journey with different family lore and history for me but man this video is a mood.

[@LAVirgo67]

Love this segment on a topic that is near & dear to my heart. I've been recreating my family tree for over 5 years now. Like Kristen, I look Indigenous, but have fair skin. Even while visiting reservations in Arizona, the locals would ask me "Who are your people?" My mom was born in Mexico and my dad's family has been in California since the 1700s. We're what's called "Californianos" (original settlers). All of my life I've felt 'off' because my mom's side of the family is European looking and my dad looks more Indigenous. The DNA test definitely solved some issues for me in regards to identity. I'm 46% native, which was no surprise. What was a surprise was the regions that my Indigenous ancestors came from in the Southwest. It helped narrow the search of my ancestral tribes. It's like a huge puzzle you are reconstructing through hundreds of years of records. Now, I'm ready to reconnect the Tohono O'odham peoples of Northern Mexico/Southern Arizona. The Mexican side of the tribe is not as concerned w/ the quantums, as they are in the US. There they are open to people coming back to reconnect. I was lucky that I grew up close to my mother's side the the family who kept many of the Tohono O'odham traditions, which I thought were just Mexican. Nope! They are unique to the tribe. I feel like a piece that was missing for many years is finally going to find it's place in my soul. Good luck w/ your journey.

[@Max-ql2pv]

I'm so happy that you were able to reconnect with relatives on your mother's side! Especially since it sounds like you've had similar experiences and can support each other in reconnecting. ❤ I wish you and your plants all the best! Growth, hydration and sunshine! Me getting emotional watching Jen get emotional watching Kristin.

[@megmcguireme]

I needed this video. My grandfather left the reservation at 18 and from then on denied being native. My whole family is cut off from that culture, and have have such a desire to reconnect. I also have no idea where to start. Thank you for sharing this.

[@kimberley1943]

I'm Iñupiaq and currently taking courses on traditional knowledge and language. Reconnecting with your heritage is such an important thing, and such a big deal. I'm so happy to see you getting in touch with this part of yourself 🥰

[@sydneystewardson1571]

Kristin I’m so proud of you, I can’t imagine how emotional this process is and I’m so glad you’re doing it and sharing your story. Its so touching to see all these people commenting about similarities in your stories. AND It’s so incredible you found family to connect with!!!!Sending all my love 💕

[@danikanickel7463]

As an Indigenous person whose parents have been heavily affected by both the 60’s Scoop and Residential Schools (Canada), I can understand what it means to be confused about who might be part of your family. Thanks for being honest about your story.

[@NerdyGeisha]

This was such a beautiful thing to hear, I almost teared up watching it, Kristin! As an Okinawan person who's been connecting with other Shimanchu (people from a group of islands south of Japan), it warms my heart to hear especially you finding validation and belonging in finding others in your community and reconnecting with your history and cultures 🥺 I wish you the best of luck in your continuing journey of reconnection ❤❤❤

[@skchen5292]

This is really cool to hear about and I want to thank you for sharing this with us. I also think it's really cool how explicitly you have set your boundaries about what you're willing to share and answer!

[@kitchenandjorn]

I appreciate that! I know people have questions but sometimes I just want to focus on other parts of a story without having to hurt myself

[@skchen5292]

@@kitchenandjorn definitely understandable! I'm still trying to learn the put up boundaries BEFORE they're crossed thing, so I find what you're doing is really admirable! Go Kristin! You very much do not deserve to be hurt by jerks on the internet or anyone else! (Jen too ofc)

[@maealicebaird9561]

Hi Kristin! I’m Mashpee and Aquinnah Wampanoag (so a fellow eastern woodlands bestie), and I just wanted to say that I am so SO proud of you. I know the hardships of reconnecting, but I know how beautiful it is. If you ever need to talk through anything, or you ever need support from a fellow native I would be honored to help ♥️ communities are built on strength and support

[@WhenYouHaveAir]

Aloha! I love that you spoke about reconnecting as both a right and responsibility. In Hawaiian our word for responsibility, kuleana, is also the same word we use for privileges/rights. It always felt colonial to me to dismiss familial ties and responsibilities as burdens when they can also be so beautiful and uplifting and supportive. Sending aloha pumehana from Oʻahu! Side note, but was not expecting to happy cry on my lunch break. And learning so much from the comments Mahalo for sharing.

[@TheAgib89]

Gah thank you thank you thank you for this. As a daughter of two Chileans living in Australia and not having contact with my extended family. Learning about my ancestors has been so healing, I feel that hole you speak about. I’ve discovered my Aymara lineage and although I haven’t been able to connect with many people finding cousins and seeing people who look like me was so tremendously important. Thank you for sharing your story. 💛

[@kristinkane7463]

Hey y’all! I love this channel more and more every video. I love hearing your honesty and openness. It reminds me I’m a human just like y’all

[@dotdotdot...176]

I'm glad Kristin is able to go on this journey of reconnection, learning and healing, and I love Jen's support 💜.

[@SirAgravaine]

I wondered if you had gone searching after that Buzzfeed video, especially since you said your mom was adopted. I'm glad to hear that you're learning about your biological roots and your heritage (and hopefully sharing with your mom!) and that you have a whole new family to embrace and learn about and grow with. Glad you're finding happiness

[@Amy-xb5jl]

Can I just say generally your channel is everything I've needed since you were in buzzfeed... love both of your personalities and videos so much I am binge watching all of these now... love you both!

[@maia_gaia]

"You've seen the Sopranos multiple times... The Italians are fucking fine!" 💀💀💀💀 On a more serious note, this video was so heartwarming. I'm so glad you've been able to go on this journey 💕

[@mndyD9]

“I am all of my identities. Simultaneously” Felt that hard! Being of Mexican descent I assumed that was it but about 3 years ago I found out I and directly descended from Rarámurí, Wixarika, and Tepehuán. I’m also part European(Italian & Jewish). Though I honor all of my ancestry, I am happy to call myself indigenous. I find pride in it now but it took time to feel brave enough to say it and not feel like I was going to be called a liar. My mom and I are the most fair skinned ones in our family and though I can see my grandparent’s & great grandparents features in me, I’m still pale with freckles lol. Kristin, remember you carry all your ancestors with you and you should be proud to claim it ❤

[@MeganSin]

I think it’s wonderful to have created this video and let out your feelings on being indigenous. I’m a Minnesotan and we still have very strong indigenous/native communities and my cousin is married to someone who is half indigenous and to me it’s one of the minorities that we don’t talk about enough or respect enough. But I’m happy that you’re getting back in touch with that side of yourself. I’m similarly doing that as a first gen Thai-Laotian person.

[@jacobklein5543]

I had to put my dog down yesterday after having him for 17 years and this video was a great comfort. I know it's not the same experience, but I have Jewish family who fled from Europe and a lot of that culture was watered down when coming to America so I feel that need to reconnect and learn. I've been watching your videos for a while, so seeing someone that I feel like I know (even if its in a parasocial sense) talk about family and connection in such a genuine way was exactly the kind of comfort I needed in exactly the moment that I needed it. Thanks to the two of you and I hope you know how much your videos are appreciated

[@a.schmidt3096]

Sorry for the loss of your dog :( Please know there are so many resources to learn about Judaism, I posted a bunch for someone else in a different comment above. Reconnecting with your roots and your heritage is always a very transformational experience, good luck on your journey!

[@nmn7813]

Jen is such an amazing friend. Kirsten story was touching and amazing. So glad Kirsten can connect with her culture .

[@Cordelia930]

I'm so proud of you Kristin for rediscovering your ancestry and your background! Love you & Jen and I will continue supporting you both ❤

[@amberlinamiller9023]

Cherokee and proud here. I truly feel that so much of indigenous peoples history just simply gets tossed into the single day of Thanksgiving. It’s massively frustrating, and shedding light on the subject is definitely needed. My father is 100% Cherokee and my mother is a mix of Irish and European.

[@musiclover1765]

Kristin I cried while watching this video that you have made. I am indigenous as well and I am on the amazing journey of trying to reconnect to my Native side of myself. So I feel very proud of you for coming out to the world in such away that I do believe that you are making your ancestors very proud and you should be very happy with yourself.

[@aussiecountry9320]

Indigenous people's culture and history is one of my favorites to learn about, and over all I really enjoyed getting to listen to Kristens experience and story. Thank you for sharing with us Kristen, I wish you luck with the continuation of your journey :)

[@loiscolson1713]

As someone whom has strong genetic features (my great grandfather, grandfather, Mother, Me & my child all have the exact same face) I cannot imagine how hard it must be to not see that in your family. I am so sorry that your family was separated from you. I thank you for sharing your journey.

[@orangeradishneo]

growing up, I didn't know my biological maternal grandfather - but me, my mom and uncle all have features from him (mainly dark hair, hooded eyes similar to Kristen's). In elementary school, I was always asked if i was Asian at all due to some features I have. A few years ago my grandma casually mentioned how my grandfather was like, at most 1/2 indigenous. He's either that or Italian, based on the handful of photos i've seen lol I'm bad at guessing people's ethnicity. Being interested in genealogy overall, finding any information about ancestors is fascinating to me!

[@kateedwards372]

THIS. This was such an heartwarming wholesome video. I had goosebumps the ENTIRE time. You did such an amazing job and it was incredibly personal and educational at the same time. Thank you so much for trusting us enough to share something so incredibly personal. 💕

[@walnutwalnutson8723]

Some of our stories are so similar and there are so many people like us that have experienced this disconnect. I grew up knowing that I'm indigenous. I grew up with the "proof" in my grandad. I grew up with small parts of the culture that were just part of my life. But I didn't know this through direct conversation until I was in 2nd grade and my grandad tried to help me understand it better (after an unfortunate Thanksgiving "Indian" experience in grade school). But I didn't believe it for myself or allow myself to really say it until about 9 years ago and then only timidly at first. There were lots of reasons why I didn't feel comfortable. 1) the way I looked (I had very light hair, a white/pink complexion, and green eyes) and didn't look "native" like my grandad or mom. I look like my dad's side. 2) when I told my peers they called me a liar. That my skin wasn't red enough. That the "indians" are dead 3) Because of my family moving away from Oklahoma after great grandad didn't come home after WWII there was a disconnect. 4) I didn't believe I was allowed to be indigenous and if I took any part of that culture I would be an outside consumer and unwelcome. This has hurt me and the only reason I started to feel comfortable is because my grandad, who is getting old, asked me why I didn't think I was Indian. And his question surprised me. I told him how I felt like I wasn't allowed. I sobbed in his arms when he told me that no one should have made me feel like that. That we are native, and should be proud. For him, he told me, it was an obvious thing. Since he'd grown up surrounded by the culture, he thought that we would get the same experience despite living apart because we would see him. He apologized, I apologized, and here we are. I'm proud of you for taking those steps to reconnect. Don't let other people make you feel like you don't belong. All the peoples of these nations have been controlled in so many ways, and now I don't want to stay away. The reconnection is helping me understand my family more than I ever have. Best of luck to you in your journey. I start language courses this March and the joy it brings me is overwhelming. Love, A Chahta (Choctaw) - Chikashsa (Chickasaw) kid

[@claireisacamel]

If you don’t mind me asking - do you happen to be in Mississippi? I only ask because I’ve lived here for most of my life and have met lots of folks who are both Choctaw and Chickasaw. I’m so proud that we have a yearly festival for people to get to soak in Choctaw culture, but it’s only a drop in the bucket compared to the totality of the incredibly rich culture. I’m sorry that anyone ever made you feel less than, and that anyone ever insinuated that you lack the cultural heritage that you most certainly possess. Also, your grandfather sounds like such a wonderful person. Sending love and squeezy hugs

[@walnutwalnutson8723]

@@claireisacamel My great great grandparents did but my family has been in Oklahoma since forced removal. My grandad moved to Kansas as an adult and that's where I grew up. I love that there are still groups of Choctaw in Choctaw lands like Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, and more. Most of my elders in Oklahoma have passed but that's where we go to spend time with other members of our nation.