Kumail Nanjiani - Some People Are Too Stupid To Have Opinions

#KumailNanjiani on getting stared at while using the urinal, debating with stupid people, and his new game "Literature or Twitter".
#KumailNanjianiStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2014
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[@redcomet_622]

Surrounded by MILFS at Taco Bell is a totally underrated William Shakespeare play

[@Quarker]

Honestly it's one of the best plays he's ever written; a true classic. it's a shame it doesn't get the recognition it deserves 😧

[@xczechr]

To smash or not to smash, that is the question.

[@rebeccahherdener2068]

LOL

[@vampjoseph]

Surrounded by milfs at taco bell is also the name of my 80's synthpop tribute band!

[@pm2598]

totally.

[@BetterLifeAhead35]

It's adorable that he thinks women's bathrooms are cleaner

[@danielking8163]

Right.

[@marvelousidgaf8859]

It's because he never got any.

[@Q_QQ_Q]

maybe you have never seen Men's rooms 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mrmilkywayhidorami7625]

Lol!

[@bed693]

They are, in every sense of the word

[@clumsiii]

on using urinals "if your shoelaces are untied: burn your legs off" -- just got home from way too many airports..this is so true

[@abdulbasit9435]

He told the "Islam predicted cars" joke at SNL too. Still funny😂

[@thekub32]

His delivery on SNL was way funnier!

[@abdulbasit9435]

@fatima arshad, So what? He's still speaking good about Islam unlike many other atheists and people of other religions.

[@Mr7Crash]

@@abdulbasit9435 Oh, honey...

[@bern9642]

@@abdulbasit9435 isn't it the same with atheists and Christianity? Don't play victim, everyone gets shat on

[@abdulbasit9435]

@@bern9642 The only religion with a phobia of it in the world is Islam so unless there's something like Atheistophobia that I don't know about, I'll play the victim card because we *are* victims

[@johnavernia1026]

To be fair, most Gary were born with a mustache.

[@embrezar]

To be faaaaaaiiiiirrrr

[@YashKansalx]

Gary Vee tooo

[@XxPx3xNx6xUx1xNxX]

The plural of Gary is Gary lmao

[@roaaoverthinks]

Gary Oldman 😂

[@wo2847]

To be fair most John's are toilets

[@austingainesburrow678]

"So he's losing the battle" 😂😂😂

[@rydemk4168]

“The piss of a thousand strangers”

[@jauxro]

Strangely poetic

[@DarkestofTimes]

The name of my favorite metal band.

[@jjhassy]

thousand piss stare

[@187nellybelly]

every artisanal beer from Brooklyn.

[@alexeysaranchev6118]

Is that Shakespeare?

[@JazzyJonas]

"Islam is the one true religion, women shouldn't drive..." Context is everything.

[@jwrigley47]

Really feels like he missed a chance to coin the word "Twitterature."

[@pm2598]

😂😂

[@Evija3000]

Love pronouncing it.

[@mfloatingaway]

I literally heard it when I was watching

[@wo2847]

That's so cutarded

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

Shit I guess it's your copyright now!!!!!!

[@blank7224]

Shakespeare also wrote "what, you egg? [He stabs him]"

[@LoveNeko64]

The Scottish Play, after that Lady Macduff is dragged off stage and raped to death. We had an actual kid in the production and she asked in the fullest innocent voice "what is rape?" My heart!

[@thatguynicky1979]

"I was raised Muslim... (wait for applause)" 🤣

[@Q_QQ_Q]

" *Surrounded by MILFS at Taco Bell* " --- Gandhi

[@lucifers.morningstar3805]

Edgar Allan Poe

[@divyanshgoel128]

Pretty sure it was jesus

[@satyawatigendre4417]

I am an Indian and I am laughing at this comment! preety amazing right?!

[@divyanshgoel128]

@@satyawatigendre4417 he is Pakistani

[@harshithar1476]

I have watched so many Kumail Nanjiani interviews I already know the pee story, but its always so entertaining to hear it.

[@peoduction6068]

Have you ever watched Chris D'Elia? I started watching comics because of him

[@harshithar1476]

@@peoduction6068 yeahh, I have, he's hilarious man👏. I actually started watching comics because of John Mulaney.

[@nomonym8273]

This is why it grosses me out when ppl walk in their house with shoes on 😭

[@fairy5668]

Bc you're Asian

[@oldensten3337]

@@fairy5668 if you go inside without your shoes your not Asian, you're just normal. You may also be Asian but that's beside the point

[@eazy_bread5587]

Me too

[@youreskimofriend2327]

I think in Europe it’s also the standard. Haven’t seen otherwise unless maybe it’s a big party or some event but even then mostly we take our shoes off. Lived in different countries in Europe and it seems to be the norm.

[@smorgastarta2412]

@@youreskimofriend2327 yes it is. Walking inside the house with the shoes on is just an american thing.

[@phasm42]

Wait, he didn't tell us literature or Twitter on that last one 😅

[@dislikeablemelon9991]

one of williams best

[@AbhiBass96]

@@dislikeablemelon9991 HAHAHA

[@ammarzaidi765]

Obviously literature

[@JaqenHghar.]

I believe that was an early Edgar Allan Poe

[@Q_QQ_Q]

GANDHI

[@AmberAmbwee]

Who names their kid Gary? He didn’t even have a mustache. 😂😂💀

[@robfab5204]

There are no babies names Gary. They just appear at age 27

[@AmberAmbwee]

Rob Fab Videos When I was in 1st-3rd grade, our principals name was Gary. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized it was Gary and not Grey. 😂

[@andreasosterdahl6591]

A fan of Spongebob Squarepants

[@rns7497]

He got meright in the beginning 😂😂😭😭 "if your shoe laces are untied...burn your legs off"

[@TylerSmith-fl5gz]

I was not ready whatsoever for that last one 😂

[@MaryCorbell]

Kumail Nanjiani is officially in my top 5 fave comedians 😂👍🏻

[@196cupcake]

Fun(?) fact: Kumail Nanjiani had to stop using that bit because his family in Pakistan started getting death threats from Muslim extremists.

[@omarnawar3850]

I am Muslim and when he said the guy said "the Quran said women can't drive" I laughed so hard man 😂😂😂

[@macnolds4145]

"Surrounded by milfs at Taco Bell." - Emily Dickinson

[@4x4PearlyInCA]

His eyebrows are soooo expressive! I love it lmao

[@Netherwolf6100]

That tweet saving story better be a lie. I can only imagine how confused the world would be 500 years from now reading so much of the earth's stupidity

[@therichroom4681]

It is true, my friend.

[@2thRiteFREESPEEisAVirtueSignal]

Snowden was right

[@womenwhitson1104]

TheRichRoom Thanks, now my last bit of hope for the future has died. I’m going to go cry in a corner now. 😫

[@tiffanymarieelizabeth]

I hope they archive trump’s tweets so the future humans will know how stupid he was

[@derrickdiggs8612]

Say what you want about men's restrooms, but you've never found a used tampon or maxipad in the toilet.

[@sycoticpsycho]

Thats what you would think.

[@boulshyte8932]

im a woman and ive never found that either

[@Pacifistrapist]

You're oh so wrong

[@anthonynorman7545]

Some dudes will use a tampon for nosebleeds, so I've seen it.

[@derrickdiggs8612]

@@anthonynorman7545 Haha!!! Sure. "Nosebleeds".

[@undefinedscott]

Trick question, they are both Shakespeare.

[@rebeccahherdener2068]

Scott M nah... I think that either Gandhi or Jesus said the last one.🤣

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Better than most of the JFL clips I've seen recently!

[@vince5417]

The perfect humor on a Monday afternoon love this guy and this channel 😎✨🌮

[@alianofann]

The last one caught me off guard 😂

[@fairylin5]

OMG I LOVE KUMAIL SO MUCH!!! HES HYSTERICAL!!! 😂🤣😂🤣

[@shivanimajmudar]

Freakin love Kumail, he’s so funny

[@JakeHageman]

Kumail is one of the funniest comedians working today

[@187nellybelly]

Eyes forward Gary!

[@alexandrawolfe6903]

These are FAVORITE Kumail jokes.

[@soysprouts]

he's so great hahaha, love him

[@scottsmith5192]

Eyes forward Gary

[@tomace5008]

Good watch

[@kyleswafford2872]

National Archives and Library of Congress sometimes get confused.

[@Cowboy-uw7jz]

What’s funny this guy is going to play in the Marvel movie The Eternals lol 😂 That’s awesome!

[@rebeccahherdener2068]

Cowboy 1000 omg.🤣 Why do I get the feeling that that movie is now gonna be at LEAST 10 times funnier.

[@9shazad]

OMG no way!!!!!!

[@Endlessvoidsutidos]

Kumail is so fucking eternal XD

[@viceshark]

Kumail was one of my first favorites when I got into stand up. I really miss him on the stage.

[@wellreadbull3740]

If you think Jesus was white, your not allowed to have an opinion on gun control. - Rory Scovel

[@XxvaxionxX]

Jesus was Arab.

[@danielboisvert2194]

@@XxvaxionxX *Jewish

[@wellreadbull3740]

@@danielboisvert2194 that's an ideology not a place.

[@CG-cw3ps]

If it ain't white it ain't right

[@danielboisvert2194]

@@wellreadbull3740 ...They are a people group. Jesus was ethnically Jewish.

[@AhPhoey]

The Uber guy.

[@christineferreira2181]

I love Kumail 😂

[@tonyd.2172]

IKR!

[@Prensinannisi]

very very very good :)

[@PoeticProse7]

"Surrounded by MILFS at Taco Bell" That's literature, I definitely remember reading that one. I think it was Keats!

[@kingXofXhell]

3:45 actually it says that.. but not directly

[@FirstNameLastName-od3qq]

Which Ayah?

[@user-cl6uj5bn2f]

"It's fuckin Gary"🤣🤣🤣

[@Licotus007]

He was great in Stuber.

[@real_lampcap]

He did that car one on SNL it was hilarious

[@myainsel2579]

Like this guy .

[@DADEFUYE]

At my college, the guys' restroom is cleaner than the ladies. I know because a lady used the guys' restroom while theirs was full. she said, "my god, this restroom is cleaner than the ladies restroom."

[@Evija3000]

Maybe it gets cleaned more often because of how terrible it gets 😄

[@seancollins6612]

I'm proud for the Eternal Kumail

[@hamhawk2401]

When he said surrounded by MILFs at Taco Bell, I absolutely died

[@Endlessvoidsutidos]

HAPPPPPYYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYYY......THANK YOU VeRY MUCH

[@bluecollarmenproductions]

Hold for applause lmfao

[@judeparsons3481]

Oh this was posted on my birthday

[@autobotjedi3457]

2:36

[@tamaking86]

Mouse on a surf board!

[@christelheadington1136]

Garys are supposed to born fully grown with mustaches?

[@natecw4164]

So, all things being equal, the urinal or toilet closest to the door is the least used. Most think it'd be the one furthest away, hence why most people skip the "clean" one

[@glamdoll9082]

So funny🤣🤣

[@underground_man]

Missed his chance to call it “Lit or Twit” Great set tho

[@cdubya166]

Kumail: "Hello Pot" Pot: "Nice to meet you, Kettle"

[@markcambrone8369]

This title is how I feel every day.

[@teeyastanley7806]

This is why I always use the stall

[@aaronsmith1023]

Lmao, Kumail Nanjiani is so underrated.

[@vivekshah7769]

Aaron Smith nope. He’s pretty mediocre tbh

[@aaronsmith1023]

@@vivekshah7769 no he's really not.

[@elanasilverman4468]

I love this guy. And Gary, wherever you are, just ask before you touch. You'll be fine.

[@yograjthakur500]

I thought he drove uber😂😂 Stuber

[@Blackflag.actual]

Better than the twilight zone episode

[@sasaukagegaming4210]

I can't unhear prismo

[@daeladub]

You know what the fuck it is! Had a good deep laugh

[@danialluthfee1844]

Is this guy in the Internals?

[@Mrbuttboi]

“I was drunk! I just touched a Quaran!”

[@gaylordfaulker8342]

And then everyone in the crowd that wore shoelaces legs disappeared

[@laurenmatal353]

Haha for this exact reason my uncles make us take our shoes off before going in their house

[@youreskimofriend2327]

Only your uncles? Isn’t that normal??

[@aoife9932]

Twiterature

[@Miami_flower95]

👏👏👏

[@maanasravishankar5465]

EYES FORWARD GARY

[@damagecontrol60]

Great name for a band!

[@trueRisshi]

Nice Ted talk

[@F.U.E.L]

When i was in school i had to do the math of which toilet has less shit in it

[@kylefleming1454]

U da man

[@jankoleon3785]

Socrates along with several other philosophers spend Millenia pondering philosophical implications of MILFs at Taco Bell.. it a concept that is still taught in philosophy classes to this day.

[@invertus9411]

My old man was a maintenance man for my town for 20 years....hes said for the past 20 years that the women's bathrooms were always much worse

[@sahej6939]

why are ppl so gross & messy in a public space???

[@withonforafteratbyin]

"lit or twit"

[@user-by4pw4uy5n]

the title is me

[@annasthesia8432]

This was the perfect video for me to click on while I was drinking a yellow beverage.

[@BeatlesBiitch]

this crowd was WEAK, you deserved better Kumail

[@jayyarbrough4497]

He didn’t have a mustache or anything 🤣😂

[@ericwhatley5831]

GS Kumali Nanjiani

[@lynette599]

_Everybody should watch *THE BIG SICK 2017*, co-written by Kumail, featuring Kumail and Emily Blunt...THE BEST ROMANTIC COMEDY I've ever seen - he is a GREAT actor...SOoo believable in his role...filled with brilliant moments._

[@ssr846]

the last line was just brilliant joke

[@demonicsdomain]

They announced they're storing tweets over 7 years ago.

[@rooryan]

This killed me

[@pragnyabhandari7999]

Five stars for Stuber!!!!

[@embrezar]

A mouse on a surfboard? Is that preferable to ants on Seadoos? I mean, I don't if a mouse has the balance necessary to ride a surfboard, but with an appropriate team of scientists, they could make a Seadoo an ant could operate.

[@anitajinfla9762]

Funny 😂

[@whyamiwastingmytimeonthis]

am I the only one who always checks his laces before going to public bathrooms?

[@spFOX-pz3fx]

I used to be a custodian, the women’s bathroom is worse. They flush tampon, and panties. Sometimes they forget to flush. They also leave their bloody pads on the side of the toilets.

[@junesaez4273]

🤣🤣🤣💀

[@christian8933]

I've heard the bathroom joke years ago but I don't remember who did it

[@eugenekalashnokov1525]

Patton Oswald