How Dating Apps Contribute to the Demographic Crisis

[@KylaScanlon]

thanks for watching everyone - to be clear, I think dating apps are NOT bad. They are a byproduct of our weird world - and I think they can help. But we need to talk about it in context of the broader problem of the demographic crisis

[@harprabhsangha5177]

As a person going through the whole dating world, this is quiet insightful thanks. 🙃 They're really really really trying to get that money I agree.

[@KitaJabig]

OMG what happened to your chin?

[@joecage7394]

That was my first thought. "Holy shit, somebody punched Kyla in the face!"​@@KitaJabig

[@Morereality]

try keeping a hydrocolloid bandage on that to keep it soft and prevent scarring

[@MrAgmoore]

@@KitaJabig skateboarding accident. She's gorgeous though.

[@imba69420]

Using a dating app was a dystopian experience for me. Never again.

[@angryox3102]

They weren’t so bad 10 years ago, but they’ve just gotten worse and worse as time has gone on.

[@rythmikeffect]

They are absolute garbage. Glad it’s helped some people, but they do (and have done) more harm than good.

[@Lovethemusic385]

Ditto

[@DeadCat-42]

Exactly it took three weeks online to completely and forever change my opinion of women . I use this think woman we're nice good people.. now I know they hate men..

[@pololikikuju]

Dating apps, hook up culture, social media were invented to destroy relationships, marriages and dating. It is to keep us single and selfish. By the time we get to 60s we look in the mirror old and alone and realize we will likely die off alone in our homes (maybe someone will find the body after a few weeks or months)?? No kids, no partner, it is scary... All this garbage culture is to keep us alone and easily controlled and in financial hardship as one single income is no longer enough. This was all by design... few families, children and a poorer and degraded citizen base.

[@pathologicaldoubt]

I’m glad their stocks are tanking - it should be a reflection of the issues with their current models that prioritize engagement rather than “relationships that could lead to engagements”

[@tuckerbugeater]

young women turned to tiktok chads and tyrone

[@ISpitHotFiyaa]

Are they tanking because the product is that bad or are they tanking because they spent so much money buying each other up and now their balance sheets are loaded up with debt that they can't afford to pay with their meager revenue? I mean it doesn't take that much to create one of these aps. And all of their content is created by the users and therefore free. They should be a gold mine simply because of their low operating and development costs.

[@aleterra]

@@ISpitHotFiyaa the thing is that most customers, particularly men, are unhappy paying users (usually women don't want to pay for the app). Like any other product, you pay, you would use it for a few months or weeks and if it doesn't work you should drop it. And bear in mind that there is no warranty of results, but you still need to pay. When you pay for a service, you expect a result, Tinder should try to make you go out on a date, that's why you are paying for.

[@KylaScanlon]

i hope one of them buys that term from you

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

Yes, if they wanted to, they could get people together and those happy couples could be referrals. But no, they want to keep everyone forever

[@scygnius]

I still refuse to touch dating apps. I don’t want finding a partner to turn into a job. Not to mention it degrades your mental stability.

[@jcransome5616]

You won’t get any matches anyway. Nice emotional out tho

[@scygnius]

@@jcransome5616 you can do better bait than that homie

[@jcransome5616]

@@scygnius you won’t tho

[@Aeroquaza]

You're absolutely right about the mental stability part, some of the best options meant for u wouldn't even be available to be found. It's super exhausting & everything is so superficial. Old fashion way of going out to meet ppl still holds weight.

[@OjoRojo40]

@@jcransome5616 Found the incell!!!

[@piccalillipit9211]

*IN A 54 YEAR OLD GUY* life is SO BAD for kids today that if I had a choice between being 20 in 2024, or being me a 54 year old guy with health problems - ID CHOOSE ME...!!! I think that is a horrific inditement of the world we have created.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

It sucks... Also, it's spelled indictment (just correcting you for future not to be an arse)

[@redrum3405]

@@piccalillipit9211 I don’t know an adult who envies the young today. Boomers had the best of it because they had the largest generation. Lots of options and a dominant youth culture. Then sliding with each generation since theirs for various reasons.

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@redrum3405 Sad isnt it. I bought a house at 24 for 2.5X my salary as a telesales person. Had a Toyota Supra not on finance. And I was out clubbing 3 nights a week.

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@michaelhoudecki3657 Thanks for being polite - Im severely dyslexic. If Grammarly does not pick it up I have no clue

[@AirShark95]

"What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return but knowing some will be lost along the way" - Lucas Scott

[@bolt-dbtfg]

the reason BUMBLE has recently allowed Men to send the first message, is because they were losing money. Because MEN pay for the premium service not women. And MEN were not getting dates. The few women on there were all picking the same top 20% of men, meaning the other 80% men got little to no matches, messages, or dates. So the lower 80% of men stopped using their service. Bumble allowing these undesirable 80% men to message first, give them enough false hope that they are actually have more of a chance.

[@JewTube001]

110% true. This is why I never quite understood the dating app for women model, as the males pay for everything and keep you employed. Once you bar those services you no longer have a business. It's strange that the CEO is female because surely she should know that she doesn't pay for apps or dates, she must know that's the man's job? How was she expecting start paying for these things?

[@Laughable000]

To add - that 20% (probably less) of men / 80% (probably more) of women are likely not paying a cent. Why would they need to

[@betallyoungattractive644]

Bingo

[@nerychristian]

They really need to start a dating service where people go to their main office and take pictures and undergo a background check. So many women use old pictures or lie about their age. People stop using dating apps because they are afraid of talking to someone with a fake profile. They also need to block users from other countries. I don't need to see matches from China or Africa. You should also be able to filter by race.

[@pololikikuju]

Dating apps, hook up culture, social media were invented to destroy relationships, marriages and dating. It is to keep us single and selfish. By the time we get to 60s we look in the mirror old and alone and realize we will likely die off alone in our homes (maybe someone will find the body after a few weeks or months)?? No kids, no partner, it is scary... All this garbage culture is to keep us alone and easily controlled and in financial hardship as one single income is no longer enough. This was all by design... few families, children and a poorer and degraded citizen base.

[@NathanSimms]

I run a singles group in Austin. It has 2500 members, some have gone on to get married. It's simple. The dating apps don't make money if your relationship works out. They aren't incentivized to get you into a functional relationship. The best way to foster REAL, SUCCESSFUL, relationships is to meet organically with people that have similar interests and values (hobbies and religious gatherings)

[@blackpillbackshots8489]

Whats the gender ratio of members?

[@tuckerbugeater]

you're biased

[@derek4412]

I still can't imagine hobbies leading to good relationships, but the religious gatherings certainly. A couple needs to have similar beliefs about God (or the lack thereof) to make a marriage work in the long-run.

[@NathanSimms]

@@tuckerbugeater in what way? That I have witnessed what works and doesn't? Yes it's biased my opinion. The Apps suck. I've met 0 people that are in my generation (Millennials) that have gotten married after meeting on an app.

[@nocapnobs7845]

@@NathanSimms 99% of these sort of answers are bots.

[@runningcommentary2125]

The feeling of getting nowhere in life not because of your own shortcomings but because some inexplicable computer program has arbitrarily decided that you are human garbage is not a pleasant one.

[@mannik8]

I mean it's not fully arbitrarily, because the app needs to show mostly people who are attractive by the other sex, so the users stay. The bad thing for men is that most men are not as visually pleasing as women, so only the small minority of them are attractive solely based on the pictures that the apps are designed to show.

[@mrfarenheit9159]

Welcome to the 21st century, pal!

[@Zzz-vh3mu]

It’s not the app bro it’s how women in real life view u. Women don’t need men to provide for them anymore they’re more educated, make more money, and aren’t shamed into monogamy. It’s natural biologically that 10% of men will get the vast majority of women until they get old and try to settle for a provider. Before society and shame was a thing this is how we as humans mated. Look at gorillas they have a harem that’s what we are devolving or evolving into (whichever way u look at it) in the 21st century

[@RemziCavdar]

Not only that but putting up good photo's is difficult so you need to hire a photography and then it becomes pay to win or pay to play.

[@pololikikuju]

Dating apps, hook up culture, social media were invented to destroy relationships, marriages and dating. It is to keep us single and selfish. By the time we get to 60s we look in the mirror old and alone and realize we will likely die off alone in our homes (maybe someone will find the body after a few weeks or months)?? No kids, no partner, it is scary... All this garbage culture is to keep us alone and easily controlled and in financial hardship as one single income is no longer enough. This was all by design... few families, children and a poorer and degraded citizen base.

[@stevo728822]

Online dating apps is 50 women swiping on 1 guy. The same guy.

[@andrewmackenzie325]

Correct

[@JewTube001]

Even the singleness survey confirms it. The amount of single men is double women, that means a very large fraction of women are sharing the same man.

[@LordMalice6d9]

​@@JewTube001The ratios are worse than double.

[@GLDn1]

When you realize that the girls KNOW. They don't care. Men to them are like showing off an expensive handbag. If you're not worth "points" in her competition with other women, you're ignored. No big deal. But don't think for 1 second they don't know or even care that they are "competing" for that shared guy.

[@thepassportog]

And that guy becomes “men”

[@yufgyug3735]

as a man, if you are not super attractive, then theres no point in using dating apps. just leads to disappointment, suffering and frustration

[@betallyoungattractive644]

Yep

[@jonnysmokesmusic]

Shit, even if you are an 8/10 guy the apps are going to destroy your self esteem. Apps only work if you are an absolute top 1% looking guy, who will be banging the top 50% of the women.

[@betallyoungattractive644]

@@jonnysmokesmusic agreed

[@Bateluer]

I pointed this exact statement out to some women on a discussion group after they complained that so many men are simply bitter towards women now. This is why. They banned me.

[@pololikikuju]

Also in the Bhagavad Gita wich is a bit over 5000 years old. It goes into detail about female nature and how society needs to handle it in order to avoid civilization collapsing. I used to think ancient scripture was misogynistic until I began to see the exact same thing playing out today. As soon as women were liberated by a combination of technologies and legal privileges, and given tools like social media, they defaulted to unrestrained hypergamy and promiscuity, wich is the side of the feminine that is socially destructive. People of the past knew better and by enforcing certain societal rules they were not trying to oppress us, but to protect us and their societies.

[@skrabio]

To the men - pay for a gym membership, trainer, nutritionist, stylist, etc before ever paying for a dating app.

[@HH-bc2nz]

Good advice. It's similar to fat girls who pay for expensive hair, makeup and nails. It is worthless. Lose weight go to the gym and get fitt you don't need anything else.

[@hipidipi20157max]

and buy good stocks till you have lots of cash and read Les Miserables and War and Peace four times each...then memorize the Yellow Pages of each city...

[@nagisa9147]

Also, therapy. Everyone forgets to fix the insides, too. Goes for the guys AND the gals.

[@LordMalice6d9]

​@@hipidipi20157maxI have lots of good stock.

[@pololikikuju]

Dating apps, hook up culture, social media were invented to destroy relationships, marriages and dating. It is to keep us single and selfish. By the time we get to 60s we look in the mirror old and alone and realize we will likely die off alone in our homes (maybe someone will find the body after a few weeks or months)?? No kids, no partner, it is scary... All this garbage culture is to keep us alone and easily controlled and in financial hardship as one single income is no longer enough. This was all by design... few families, children and a poorer and degraded citizen base.

[@1boi593]

Dating apps are the biggest waste of time for men. If you are not chad its not worth it to try to date in todays world.

[@WK_MERCURY]

This is explains so much

[@fleecejohnsonn]

Yeah I don't even bother anymore. All it does is make me feel like shit and I get nothing in return. What's the point? lol

[@timothygibney159]

@@fleecejohnsonnget 6 figs and a 6 pack of abs. Simple

[@roninecostar]

@@timothygibney159 Have 6 feets as well 😅

[@Nersius]

The top 10% issue only exists on hook-up apps, which makes sense as they are much riskier for women. As you go to more serious platforms/real life the 'hotties only' skew dissipates.

[@giraffetamer12]

I'm a 26 year old man and I was talking with someone recently about dating and why I'm not putting a lot of effort toward finding someone, and for me personally I came to the conclusion that dating is just very financially irresponsible. I don't go out to eat by myself let alone paying for someone else's meal. With the cost of everything rising I'm struggling just to buy my dog food, let alone a whole other human being. and don't even get me started on how financially ruined I would be if I had a kid right now. So unless I can find an extremely frugal woman or a sugar momma, I'm gonna be single for a while. Plus it barely seems worth it emotionally either when there's such a high likelihood of failure because of some of the reasons you mention in this video like, less people marrying (why get attached to someone if they're not gonna be with you sincerely) and people commodifying the concept of dating now so if someone "better" comes along ill be tossed aside like last years iPhone or they hold out for someone "better" that doesn't even exist and nothing even come from it in the first place. they say the best way to find love is not to look for it but its starting to seem like if everyone does that, we're all gonna end up sad and alone.

[@upsidedownChad]

sugar momma is the way to go

[@wilkyb8997]

Dating is financially irresponsible, but being in a relationship & living together is an amazing way to get ahead

[@MsQ275]

it's bc you're dating to date. dating is actually for marriage (I know that's mind blowing) and an it's an investment in your life. otherwise, you're going to be a lonely, angry incel ❤ get out there, you're almost old and washed up.

[@tuckerbugeater]

@@wilkyb8997 good for chad and tyrone

[@rathelmmc3194]

Your last sentence is 100% accurate. People are supposed to be finding someone they can build something with together.

[@alldecentnamestaken]

My own personal anecdote: I gave up on dating apps years ago when, in a very short period of time, I found several duplicate accounts and accounts I was very confident were bot accounts. Tbh they were a lot of work. We're talking 100 swipes per match and probably five matches conversation... best case scenario of three matches to an in-person date. So 1,500 swipes to an in-person date. I was better off trying to meet someone in real life.

[@SeiShinjitsuShi]

The irony is that if dating apps worked, people would use them more, not less.

[@DevPythonUnity]

these appes want to keep people single so they can sell more subscirpionts, more adds, more exposure, they are in buissnes of keeping people single

[@Lucas-wn5wm]

I use it to talk crap with global people 😂😂😂😂

[@CorinthianIvory]

Wouldn't they use them less? Once you got a match on an effective platform, you wouldn't use it again. You would just tell your friends to use it

[@Lucas-wn5wm]

@@CorinthianIvory i usually move it to telegram/instagram lol

[@gabeo9474]

Actually, that's not ironic. If something works, the expectation is that people will use it more. What is ironic is making a comment describing an example of irony that is not, in fact, ironic. Welcome to the matrix.

[@seeranos]

The atomization of our living situations is really great for driving people to dating apps, but really bad for dating. The way people are getting more and more spread out while getting fewer and fewer places to casually run into people, all the while having to work longer hours to afford basic necessities, of course we have a demographics crisis, and capital-return-focused apps aren’t going to fix it

[@doujinflip]

Late-stage capitalism. It rewards individual flexibility at the cost of a static place to build a community because it compels us to pick up and move on short notice at the company's convenience.

[@SartorialisticSavage65]

It's ok women like cats and bears more than us just chill.

[@NPJGlobal]

​@@SartorialisticSavage65 I knew about the cats part, but what's the deal with bears now? :o

[@dandre3K]

@@doujinflipYou’re blaming capitalism like migrant workers haven’t existed for millennia

[@abcdeshole]

@@doujinflip there’s no communism after this. It’s not late stage.

[@dale116dot7]

I’m just newly single. I will not use the dating apps. I’d rather take my chances in the wild.

[@andrewrice9383]

I have better luck in the wild so I corroborate that.

[@CaneBTC]

Yeah and HIV is overrated, once you have both type A and B I find they kind abalance themselves out

[@jurassicthunder]

grizzle grizzle

[@andrewrice9383]

@@jurassicthunder wiggle wiggle

[@simras1234]

The problem is that the apps don't work. We get matched with random people. There is too much focus on pics and too little on personality.

[@shishshish8026]

They work, and they just mirror reality. If you avarage men or less in looks department theb women don't want you and your personality. Looks always matter despite what women say

[@simras1234]

@@shishshish8026 The problem is that pictures don't capture a person and compatability. So, you end up going on a numver of pointless dates that lead to inferior relationships. It's much better to meet people in other ways where you see them in real life in a common sphere of interest. Apps are all pics and women provide very little info, so there no way of picking and also there is an insane imbalance of males to females. (84 % males). So, Tinder really is a pointless waste of time.

[@plutonic404]

@@shishshish8026 I'm sure you guys are chomping at the bit to date the ugliest women you can find. 🙄I've gone out with guys who weren't conventionally attractive. Unfortunately, being ugly on the outside doesn't mean someone will have inner beauty. A lot of times they have all the same flaws as a better-looking guy except they're also more bitter about dating and ready to take it out on you. Be honest, if someone did match with you as you are now, would you treat her right?

[@lunali7209]

the focus on personality wont change anything though, because the fact that it is happening on a dating app makes people lie and create fake personalities so as to appear "appealing" and "interesting". most people, for example, dont have some super interesting and intricate hobby, but dating apps will have you believe you're a boring loser for that

[@simras1234]

@@shishshish8026 The pairing is very poor. I am a highly intellectual person and there's no way I can share even a bit of my universe in a Tinder format and I'm tall as well. I get dumb women who won't answer texts cause I don't know enough about them to write something compelling. They almost only have pictures most of the time. These incomplete profiles are a huge problem. Women are too lazy on dating apps.

[@leehayes4019]

"Its a sin for a stock price to go down." Lol you gave me a chuckle on that one.

[@jepulis6674]

True. Its like companies forgot they should make a profit and pay it out to share holders.

[@stephenabbott7259]

It’s like paying for a key to use the gas station bathroom.

[@segurosincero4057]

Best comment.

[@LJdaentertainer]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@NeoZeta]

Bro, this is the best analogy I have seen in a LONG time! 🤣

[@JewTube001]

POF be like

[@drttgb4955]

and waiting for someone to exit(match) because you don't have a dime.

[@e.t.theextraterristrial837]

80% of women swipe right on 10-15% of men. The rest of us get diddly squat. We don't don a suit, pose next to fancy cars. We work hard, get skills, make good money, save it and invest it. Dad material right there but women on these apps aren't attracted to us, they're attracted to the players or the genetically gifted.

[@ishmamahmed9306]

Random hypothetical, but if the Devil would grant you a wish or two to make dating easier for you, what would you wish for?

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@ishmamahmed9306 why the devil and not God?

[@ishmamahmed9306]

@@michaelhoudecki3657 , God works too as a wish granter. I simply said the Devil so that e.t. didn't feel obligated to state only "morally acceptable" wishes.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@ishmamahmed9306 ah

[@Eltipoquevisteayer]

Tbh better looks = better genes = better anything else

[@ZRAL2001]

Dating apps reveal the actual value that men have to other women. The results (or lack thereof) that men face on these apps are in fact reality, but everyone wants to cope and deny it.

[@berger1968]

Its more about marketing. You dont get points for something you dont show thats the problem for most men: bad pictures boring lifestyle

[@ZRAL2001]

@@berger1968no self-improvement for your face bro, also only men have to participate in this “marketing” not women

[@agapon2023]

​@@berger1968and then many chads have only one bathroom picture and still get a lot of matches

[@aureate]

​@@berger1968As opposed to what? Pictures with tons of filters and the illusion of an interesting lifestyle? Very few people are living a noteworthy lifestyle. If you want to accuse men of being bad at marketing, then you must also concede that women are guilty of false advertising. The goal of a dating app should be to standardize the content on a person's profile.

[@kaybrown7733]

@@agapon2023That's life. It isn't fair. Get over it!

[@NancyEnergy]

I hope you never stop speaking your thoughts. And I sure as hell hope lots of smart people are paying attention to your words, your ideas, and the connections you see. Thank you for making yourself available.

[@rv003yt]

"You can't have a romantic relationship if you don't have a foundation". That's nonsense. You can build the foundation together. Unfortunately, everyone wants to shop for relationships like a grocery store and fight for attention to be a King's favorite concubine rather than be a peasant's partner.

[@moshow93]

Women care about resources and social status. They don't care about actual companionship. Men can fall madly in love with a loser with no friends beacuse of who she is. A women just can't do this.

[@synchronium24]

Kyla's comment in context was a lot more about financial stability than insisting a partner meet every niche desire of yours.

[@bb-3653]

​Nope even then financial stability itself cam be built upon together. I think women typically-not all (not to sound incelly but its true in some ways) tend to bias this becuase alot of them unconsciously assume it'll make the relationship better by default, or that the foundation of said relationship relies on the man a bit more. ​the truth is men and women can easily not be stable initially , date within their means of spending until they build themselves but everyone wants this complete whole relationship from the start. Its a lie. Or they build assume the foundation is set at a certain marker. Alot of relationships can start as basic friendships/feelings and then the two parties can work together and build up, In other words, people dont start relationships the exact same. And money isnt always at the start@@synchronium24

[@jcransome5616]

She is clueless

[@KylaScanlon]

I think you misunderstood my point.

[@adrianr87]

Thinking about ADHD, autism, and the laundry list of eccentricities that come with it, the number of attractive people who don't think they're attractive must be bordering on astronomical.

[@beesmongeese2978]

Interesting point

[@Sensorium19]

No.

[@Badger8200]

I've pretty much given up dating. I know I'm not wanted or needed.

[@betallyoungattractive644]

Fr

[@Theestallionsimp]

I wouldn't give up. There's so many people in real life who aren't terminally online. I met my husband online and he's not a "chad" like y'all like to say.

[@swaggery]

A big problem is nobody knows how to socialize. I'm a man talking about your average woman on a dating app. They put stuff in their profile that they think is funny or time saving, but any good quality man is going to see that as an immediate red flag. Then most that you try to talk to respond with stuff like "good". Seriously one word answers to questions that are more complex. If you don't give me anything to work with, what am I suppose to talk about to you? A person I know absolutely nothing about. How I'm I supposed to be funny if I don't understand your personality and what interests you?

[@tuckerbugeater]

they only socialize with tyrone and chadriguez

[@yungacid1]

But I thought they were more "socially intelligent"...

[@doujinflip]

Perhaps because of nonverbal cues, which are impossible to pick up on in a chat window.

[@aaacomp1]

you're supposed to be perfect, if not, you're just creepy.

[@djaeger-k5m]

This is my experience as well… most have the personality of a rock… I just assume they’re probably texting multiple people and just stop texting…

[@MichaelGeorge161]

Match Group are the Live Nation/Ticketmaster of the dating industry

[@redrum3405]

It’s also that young women and young men are diverging politically. Young women, especially the single ones, are moving left and the men right. It still seems to work for older men with younger women because both are willing to put up with it to get what they want.

[@honkytonk4465]

Older men= more money

[@find2hard]

The stats showed that the men hang around the political center, it's the women that are going extreme left.

[@TurfSurf]

Lucky me, older I get, left I get!😂😂😂

[@redrum3405]

@@honkytonk4465 yes. Often true for older women as well. But older women and younger men aren’t as compatible because they don’t offer what the other wants to the same degree. What we are seeing is that both groups are being left on the shelf.

[@Level_Eleven]

@@redrum3405 Which does work out for men since guys will get old eventually, they just gotta survive and not off themselves. Older women, on the other hand, have zero rational hope in comparison

[@user-dq1kr6zc2t]

Sorry to hear about your cycling incident! Rest up and you're back in business! Thanks for the video!

[@wilkyb8997]

Dating apps have no community to punish bad behaviour. Dating apps also serve as a distraction from such a community when things aren't going your way. Why bother going on a date where the community polices my actions & behaviour when I can just rinse my hands after blocking their number?

[@Stabu]

oh man, I loved the "it creates a great problem for men who want to have a relationship with ... a woman" :D

[@yourmutualfriend]

"Why would I settle for the real when I can have a dream?". Nailed it 💜💜

[@johnnail532]

I was married for almost 20 years and lost my wife to cancer a couple of years ago when she was 44 years old. Starting from scratch the dating market is terrible- any good ones are already taken or if they are still single there’s usually a reason lol Haven’t tried the apps as Ive been in mourning and pretty skeptical of the dating market that I have seen-

[@Techtalk2030]

Welcome to out hell

[@00mandrew]

Honestly dude, cherish the memory and be glad you had someone you loved for that long. You’re right, the candidates on the apps are overwhelmingly terrible and might not help where you’re at right now. Take care of yourself first and what will happen will happen. ❤

[@shizz3907]

love the video, Kyla! Another thing I think that contributes to the demographic crisis is the fall of community. One of the biggest issues with dating apps which is what I think contributes to female dissatisfaction on them is that community used to be a guardrail which punished bad behavior in the realm of romance. It is so much easier to ghost when that random person you met on an app lives 5 miles outside of your neighborhood, shares absolutely zero mutual social connections with you and will suffer no social penalty for how they treat you because you both truly exist in totally separate communities. Try dating back in the 70s, even in a city. It is likely the person you met in real life will know several people you know and you mistreating them will probably be news that gets around. Or if you were a guy that is known to sleep with women and then complete change up on them then that would be a part of your reputation as well. There is just too little social penalty for bad behavior in dating right now which contributes to the broader issue, and dating apps totally do not help. This all really makes dating seem like such an emotionally dangerous and frustrating thing to do, no wonder people are fatigued from dating in general.

[@KylaScanlon]

100%! The loneliness crisis is here too :( and bad behavior.

[@chrisbaker2669]

One of the biggest problems is dating apps don’t want you to find love. If you buy boost they show you to more people but these people are really far away I have gotten a yes from people multiple states away. I should not even be shown to these people I should only be shown to people to others close to me.

[@nickrice3078]

We urgently need some not-for-profit dating apps. The current apps are conflicted in their business model.

[@shishshish8026]

And all will be the same. Issue is not in the apps, issue is with women

[@LeveritableSelecto]

​@@shishshish8026issue is with apps and social medias. Those have gaven a sense of distortion and have artificially risen the delusional high standards..Before them, it was absolutely possible for an average man to date an average girl whereas average girls now have all their focus on Chad

[@noneofyourbusiness4830]

At least you don't have to pay for Facebook Dating or any of its features. As of now.

[@flobba123]

ive been single for like 32 years and dating apps have only made my frustration 100x worse.

[@find2hard]

The real problem is the entitlement. You need to be perfect in every way and fill all her niche preferences, if you don't you just get nexted. I did some irl speed dating and mixers this year, it's almost as bad as the apps.

[@sunny3907]

True. Dating apps aren't the problem. Women simply have a lot of options. I know it sounds incely and misogynist. But, I think, every guy knows it's true. When you know you're just one of the many options that she can just pick from, you don't really want to emotionally invest. Even if she picks you, she'll always have that option of picking someone else. Instead, concentrate on yourselves and your mental peace.

[@tuckerbugeater]

@@sunny3907 So you're an incel terrorist if you simply state facts?

[@doujinflip]

Right, all apps seem to have done is allow more concentration of attention onto elite men, and making regular guys seem even more mediocre by comparison.

[@sword_of_damocle5]

Honestly, with the existence of these apps I feel like I've been robbed of an essential part of my life. I finished high school around the time these apps were starting to get popular. I would have liked to have experienced at least one romantic relationship in my life that wasn't tainted by cynicism and market logic, where I didn't have to worry about a 100 billion dudes only a few phone taps away vying for her attention. No normal man can possibly compete against such crazy odds. I don't even know what to call the world we live in anymore. It's dystopian beyond dystopia.

[@NerdlySquared]

Most guys get treated like junk mail. It is real people on there, but no one cares, or remembers that. It’s just a gross place to be with how it actually works.

[@iunnor]

Shouldn’t have let metch group buy up 90% of the market. Competition would have made it better for all of us

[@bobobob9084]

Got a tinder ad before this video 🙃

[@lakobause]

How fitting I get an ad for Hinge just beneath this video.

[@arnonil]

Thank you, Kyla, for the insightful talk. Online dating had the potential to succeed like Amazon did with books, but the issue is that everyone seems to be chasing the same 'bestsellers.' The unfortunate reality is that these algorithms are more focused on maximizing profits than on finding the formula for true connection. It would be wonderful if you could dive deeper into this topic in future videos, perhaps by sharing real user stories from both satisfied and unsatisfied people across different genders. I’m looking forward to hearing more from you!

[@Andrew-is3ld]

I think you are far far too kind to these companies. Apps have been extracting $$ from the promise of love, by maximizing the time you use them, instead of by providing value that's worth paying for.

[@sargonofakad]

I took a look at this industry and found some absurd items (not to mention some borderline obscene). In one App to complete registration you have to indicate how much money you make and how much you have in assets.

[@_andre99]

To be clear: Dating apps are BAD, and you will pay for what you did, ladies. The next app will be called: "You pay, baby!"

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

o'n around? Yeah, guys don't like o's

[@Nersius]

What did women do?

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@Nersius About 80% of them being promiscuous with about 10% of the men

[@bluegoose03]

I think the worst thing is that the apps create an illusion of endless choice.

[@wentoneisendon6502]

It's their opaque algorithms. You can pay as much as you want but they will still keep you at the back cos of their elo systems

[@Tysca_]

I started following you after your Bridges appearance and just wanted to say that you do good work! Apparently you, like me (Mississippi State University), are a southerner with a distinctly non-southern accent, which I find fun. Kudos! Great vid, as usual :)

[@vizotzyz]

I was onboard with the video till you said "love is the only thing that can save us". That's the worst part. I really do want love but one thing I know is believing it is the only thing that can us is the opposite of what to do.

[@Dr.Harvey]

What do you mean? Elaborate, please.

[@vizotzyz]

@@Dr.Harvey thinking "only love can save us" makes them needy. No-one is going to tolerate a needy person.

[@Dr.Harvey]

@@vizotzyz I'm 33, and I think only love can save me. All my doings were dedicated to no one. Every morning I wake up and don't understand why I continue all this. There is no one with whom I can share my insecurities and gain strength to overcome it.

[@carloslemos6919]

The biggest dating app is Instagram

[@betallyoungattractive644]

I keep hearing that but it has never worked for me. Not even Tiktok either

[@lisssner]

There is no longer any reason for men to use any app. or even try to get any girl.

[@betallyoungattractive644]

Totally agree. It's over. I gave up

[@gabedogsgl]

Not everything needs to be a subscription service. A one-time fee would align the user and the business on the same goals, of getting the user off the app as fast as possible

[@MrGlostuber]

Bumble does a lifetime subscription for $150.

[@jamesOneil-mg3bq]

​@@MrGlostuberThey absolutely do Not! They used to offer one, but that option was removed to maximize income due to the fact the premise of their app was backwards. Women do not want to send the first message. This change was made when they allowed men to start the conversation first.

[@MrGlostuber]

@@jamesOneil-mg3bq Oh, not too long ago I saw it still an option. It's the fact they allowed women to make the first move by sending a ready-made "opener". Annoying, plus when chicks did speak first, they'd just say "hey"

[@JewTube001]

@@MrGlostuber Yeah I think that model was based on the feminist dating app idea, but it failed as all women expect men to spend money on dating. Women spend money on themselves while men spend money on women.

[@udoyxyz]

I think open source dating platforms might work as they will be free and would actually be designed to match people to be together. Someone should build it.

[@image13]

I'm actually in the process of:)

[@SeanEustace-zk3mc]

Immigration will only save us for two generations. The sources of immigrant populations are also demographically declining for the most part. Apparently you can’t body and brain drain the rest of the world to make up for people not having kids because of low wages and high rents which are directly caused by immigration, which is a result of supply and demand economics if you increase the amount of labor and a given geographic area by immigration press down wages, and at the same time because immigrants like native Americans tend to like living and houses you rent and mortgage cost climb and this is directly correlated to immigration because the housing prices going up tend to be an areas with jobs were immigrants go . But the wages are pushed down not only in the cities were immigrants, but as a result, they are depressed all across the country. This is understood by the Chamber of Commerce and other central bankers who keep forcing mass immigration on western countries for their own selfish end, well, destroying the demographic basis for the society and the economy.

[@SeanEustace-zk3mc]

While sorry, speech to text

[@betallyoungattractive644]

High IQ

[@impaledface7694]

GDP GO UP WHEEEEEE sigh

[@FlatEarthChud-cell]

Is the increase of GDP really worth our entire race being mixed out of existence and the entire culture dilluted and replaced?

[@yes_.01]

Not to mention most localities limit the supply of housing by law in the first place through zoning

[@nicholaszimmer2886]

hey I got my chin hurt as well, by riding an electric scooter and falling off it during a night here in Brazil. good content been following for a while 👍

[@1f3rn]

Even removing dating apps out of the equation, city design itself here in the US doesn't promote connection and seems to actively want to prevent it, particularly for young people. Not to say places for young single people don't exist but they're few and far between and almost always require long, traffic infested commutes in a car outside of the suburbs to get to them. We really need places where areas of public gathering are better accessible.

[@SlashinatorZ]

I've deleted Tinder 3 times & I'm sick of people telling me to use dating apps. I'm a 31 year old virgin with autism who lives with my parents in the suburbs of Texas.

[@willmitchell6521]

I view dating the way people look at the housing market.I'm not gonna invest until things change.

[@CygnusX1123]

I was skeptical how your video would be, but since you bring up the relevant economic situation our society is in, it really makes what you say worthwhile.

[@RecapWorldTV]

Dating apps aren’t the main thing contributing to demographic crisis it’s cost of living #1 followed by unrealistic standards.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

Unrealistic standards are from social media, dating apps being one of. They confuse men willing to sleep with them with men willing to marry them, and then the 5 who's slept with a couple 9's when they were especially thirsty thinks the 7 who reaches down to them for a relationship is gross and they mistreat him

[@mrfarenheit9159]

Toxic Individualism....

[@courtneyharris1006]

Late stage women's lib imo

[@pretty7995]

Its not cost of living and its not dating apps. Its simply due to the fact that child mortality rates are an all time low so people arent trying for 10 kids and expecting 2 to live like they were in the 1800s also back then having children was economically viable as you could put them to work.

[@JewTube001]

But why does every man need to be very wealthy just to have a partner? The economy doesn't answer that part, it only answers why men can't afford to buy houses and cars.

[@macdowellandrew]

Such a loaded research & being given free of charge. I feel so fortunate to be alive in this time, where I can get almost free access to such a valuable research. Thank you Ms. Kyla!

[@piccalillipit9211]

*YOU HAVE A VERY WEIRD* and very engaging delivery - I like it a lot - you got a sub.

[@abcdeshole]

It’s very real.

[@pie-eatingant6432]

I found my husband the first day I joined Bumble. Absolutely insanely lucky, but I like that women were expected to message first. Additionally, a woman can really take advantage of the fact that the best qualities in men-character, intelligence, conscientiousness-are insanely undervalued by other women in modern society. Men with encyclopedic knowledge of a complex domain are usually awesome people, as it demonstrates humility (openness to learning) and magnanimity (drive for growth and objective flourishing).

[@INVAZOR33]

Some businesses should not be publicly owned. Some businesses should be none profit.

[@4thand133]

Couples used to meet at school or work. But colleges are now 65% female so there aren't enough men to meet, especially if the unattractive ones are ruled out. And as for work, everyone is so concerned about being accused of harassment that it is simply ruled out as a possibility. Jim and Pam from The Office almost can't happen today. Which is a shame, because romantic relationships form by really getting to know a person you find attractive - and we often get to know our co-workers better than almost anyone else.

[@Eben948]

One thing that confuses me: If you read discussion of dating apps online, a ton of men are insisting that the apps are terrible if you're a man, and all the women go after the same few guys. But the numbers from Pew etc. actually show that women are even less happy with the apps. The apps can't be *that* good for women, because then why would there be so few women on the app? Something isn't adding up. As a guy, my diagnosis of the situation is: We need women to complain more! We need to know why they dislike the apps, so we can create better apps, that women actually like. Imagine if you could create an app that women enjoy so much that 80% of users are women. I predict men will enjoy that app just fine too!

[@betallyoungattractive644]

Woman hate the apps because they find the vast majority of guys to be unattractive (they want Chad) Guys hate the apps because they can't get a date. So, men and women hate the apps for very different reasons. But at least when it comes to men, they hate the apps for a valid reason

[@Theestallionsimp]

​@@betallyoungattractive644 that's such bs. Women are inundated with men who only want a physical relationship. That's not what they're looking for in general. Also the red pill stuff is so unattractive. Those men have to pay for their women, because they have awful personalities.

[@Sensorium19]

@@betallyoungattractive644 You are correct. Men and women have divergent interests that cannot be satisfied in present circumstances. OP is naive at best.

[@ilovetemfo]

@@betallyoungattractive644why is finding the vast majority of men unattractive not valid and normal? It makes sense, women on average are more attractive than men. Men need to understand you only need one woman for a relationship. Its frankly quite greedy to think most women should be attracted to you and delusional. No most women are not attracted to you and thats normal

[@hazardman397]

Thank you, hearing that some one like u didn’t get in a serious relationship until 26 make me feels a lot better

[@uabir8338]

First of all, Ma'am, please wear sunglasses in your videos 😂 Secondly, how to be successful at dating apps: Step 1: Be TALL. Step 2: Be somewhat attractive. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit!!! My friend was bagging a new girl almost every other week (worst case scenario, a month). Whereas another friend was getting NOTHING. My personal suggestion would be, DON'T go on dating apps unless you're TALL and SOMEWHAT ATTRACTIVE/ RICH to the point you are showing off on your picture.

[@teaadvice4996]

This. Lifes brutal

[@Arejen03]

yep im 5'7 with preety decent face but still, i was invisible

[@teaadvice4996]

@@Arejen03 have u tried being 6'5

[@dave642]

So true, I am tall , average build and never had a problem in my age bracket. I ended up going overseas because of an Asian preference and at half my age. Ratio of 100 beautiful young Asian women to one white guy over there.

[@teaadvice4996]

@@dave642 lucky ur in heaven

[@BodyByBenSLC]

The cost is $200-$300 an hour for the high end $1000-$2000. That is the cost of monetizing love.

[@lennylink8772]

The cost is higher with a wife.

[@BlahBlahPoop617]

Are you saying many of the women are using dating apps for prostitution?

[@timothygibney159]

A hoe in Vegas is cheaper

[@TurfSurf]

Truth! I wish I could invest in one of these companies, the business must be booming!😂

[@VibrationalLimerence]

Plus, you’re guaranteed to win 🙂

[@MrZola1234]

16:23 90% of the discrepancy in under 30 in a relationship is many of the women are dating men over 30 and women are sharing men in the top 5%

[@TheDoomWizard]

Good report We're living in a dystopian nightmare

[@jfschmidt84]

I never used a dating app because they’re built on a flawed premise: the illusion of choice. I met my wife in a very traditional way, at church. 😂

[@vikingsoftpaw]

Dating apps the topic of discussion within the mansphere. One apparent effect that has seen with dating apps Is it many women use apps like tinder and bumble just a get a attention. Another is all women desire the top 5% of men in society. Anything less is settling. Men have realized few women have general romantic interest in them. They have left the apps and 'hurry' date scene. The club scene has been particularly his hard by this. Dating apps have no profit model if you can't deliver dates.

[@Sensorium19]

"Men have realized few women have general romantic interest in them. " This is something that hits hard. Realizing that the gender you are attracted to isn't really that interested in general and needs to be essentially bribed or forced by circumstances to accept the majority of men.

[@SlashinatorZ]

But how do you recommend young people meet in person when the real world has been turned into a sprawling concrete wasteland? There's no more nightlife or 3rd places or walkable streets anymore. Here in the suburbs of Texas we've never known anything but driving, shopping, worship, & fast food. Church used to be a better place to meet girls but its nothing but old people & aging parents with young kids now. Nobody lived here before 1970 so everything is designed around commercialism. And please don't assume I'm richer than Diddy. I live in the TX suburbs because I was born here & have a double digit net worth. I'm far too poor to even fantasize about moving.

[@Voltlighter]

Rather be lonely to the end of my days than open a dystopic app made by socially incapable silicon valley software engineers who can't understand the differences between men and women (outside of how much money they can bilk out of one over the other).

[@gojira2892]

Every time I listen to one of your videos or interviews I find myself jealous of your ability to annunciate your words so properly. I don't know where your from but I dig the accent, if that's even the right term for it.

[@storminmormn6283]

Kayla must have hit the dating apps for 2 days and then decided to write this masterpiece. It’s rough out there guys

[@KylaScanlon]

My name is spelled Kyla

[@TrollMeister_]

@@KylaScanlon No. That's a misspelling.

[@MsQ275]

​@@KylaScanlonif you have to explain that, you already lost ❤

[@guilhermehx7159]

For men, its WAY more difficult

[@cybercharger9615]

Ive been saying it for years, dating apps should be criminalized

[@marwanshamsia]

Hey, pretty good preparation for this vid. Respect, it turned out great

[@magoschonkers711]

As a 20 year old man I have been essentially trained to not approach women so I have no real other choice.

[@bruceguy2747]

Do a photo shoot (or two) and build a curated profile. Show, dont tell, the smart ones will find you. Dating is also seasonal, it took me three summers to find my person.

[@magoschonkers711]

@bruceguy2747 i actually found a guide that breaks it down further, it was a huge help. Im drafting up the "about me" section currently, helps that I'm a writer, and I'm gonna have some friends in film school help with photos. I just hate how people will say "meet girls irl" when I literally can't.

[@TemperedWambat]

Dating apps have been great for me as a man with high quality pictures. However if your pictures are not professional level and If your not conventionally attractive. There is little to no chance for you. Thats why its better to meet people in real life. You have a chance to showcase your personality then.

[@DonnePlummer69]

Even if you’re attractive, you also have to be in a city with a good culture/denographic makeup.

[@LeveritableSelecto]

People resort to dating apps because it is actually not obvious to date and meet in real life (more specifically for men). It then creates a loophole and a vicious cycle for men.

[@adamhunter1064]

What a fascinating video. As someone who follows the market but also never used dating apps this was a complete shock that the valuations were cratering and the UI was going along with it. I cant say I jave any answers but this was very eye opening to someone who thought they had seen it all. Well done!

[@randomthoughtsfromacrazedm3372]

Dating apps massively maximize women's preference for the wrong guy.

[@josepheridu3322]

The people saying "we are overpopulated anyway" and "we need higher taxes" don't realize we need new people to pay taxes and keep infrastructure. You may not need to have kids but you will need other people's kids.

[@ZyroZoro]

Oh man, that graph at 2:02 😂 Grindr the only dating app going up, and it's skyrocketing 🤣 Gee, I wonder which gender is the problem? 🤔

[@yordilara-ochoa6864]

Great content and analysis. Thank you . Greetings from Finland 🇫🇮.

[@nortonantho]

Best eyes in the game.

[@MeowfaceMusic]

Subscribed. Love all the meaningful stats. (Met my current girlfriend on Hinge and have already deleted all the apps, though it's still super interesting to know the trends, back when _and_ now.)

[@courtneyharris1006]

For men, love is a subscription.

[@holaaamannn]

Explain this line of thinking for me. Subscription as in like Onlyfans? I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

[@courtneyharris1006]

Yes. The vast majority of men provision for women to receive what they believe will be consistent intimacy and love. If a woman lost her job or never contributed financially a man has no problem providing for her for life and still loving her without financial expectations but if a man lost his job or doesn't provide she will eventually leave. Some women say men love providing but they dont understand they set a dynamic in which providing is the only way he can receive their affection so he is trained like a dog for this transaction. Does a dog like to do tricks for treats or are tricks simply the only way they can enjoy a snack? Imo its no wonder women have affinity for romance genre because men love for real and the men watching the same romance movie are detached because he knows he had to pay for dates,wedding, ring, bills, gifts etc to receive her "love". For women love is a ride, For men love is a subscription. Eventually she will want try another ride(high divorce probably as a woman), Eventually he will see the lack of value in his subscription (How catering to womens materialism still leaves him unseen and used)

[@Theestallionsimp]

Most of the men want hookups..that's why women flee the apps. It's too dangerous.

[@holaaamannn]

@@Theestallionsimp But most women want hookups too. Literally more women are having casual sex than men are in the current year.

[@Kenneth_James]

I ended up with the same, a whole bunch of stitches on my chin when my stupid foot slipped off the pedal and somehow went over the handlebars.

[@NyquistLP]

one of those, "I'm glad I'm a gen-Xer" videos. thanks Kyla, for the window view of today's world for young people

[@NicholasSeamans]

It has always been hard. A lot of the in person events for singles are not great either. I do not have to have everything be in my interests but as I have gotten older most suggestions boil down to activities like karaoke, swing dance classes, or getting a dog or something. Dating apps gained popularity because modern culture emphasizes work and consumption over any easily accessible places to gather that are not the same regurgitated corporate chain. Also, American life can be transient. You can easily find yourself somewhere where it is an extreme adjustment to get used to the culture around you. I used to live in Northern Virginia and moved to Texas for a job for example. I went from being comfortable going to hip hop and house clubs to being surrounded by religion and country music. So my cultural interest, sense of humor, and politics make it harder for me to fit in social situations rather than easier. I have to not be true to myself and I am sure my inauthenticity comes out to people here.

[@shaunrosenberg4568]

People need to go out in the real world and meet people the old fashion way. We also need more policies that support families.

[@00mandrew]

Women don’t want to be hit on while in public. Fastest way to get labeled a creep in your friend group. At least on the apps you know what you’re there for. This is coming from someone with marginal luck on the apps. 😂

[@shaunrosenberg4568]

@@00mandrew The most successful men I've seen in the dating world flirt with everyone. Nobody minds if you flirt, if that's your personality. It's creepy if you approach with low confidence.

[@00mandrew]

@@shaunrosenberg4568step one: don’t be unattractive

[@shaunrosenberg4568]

@@00mandrew Well I think half of the attractiveness for men is our personality. That's why online dating is so hard for us. Women want a guy with personality and you can't get that from a picture.

[@zzzzzzzzzzzspaf]

hey was this video just the article you keep quoting with slight rephrasing? if so, can I get a link to the article?

[@OrwellsHousecat]

Transactional relationships are moving to the pay-to-play

[@TurfSurf]

Sounds like the world’s oldest profession, and it’s still better than the dating apps if you value your time.😂😂😂

[@JewTube001]

@@TurfSurf I see a lot of escorts. They're expensive sure, but you save a lot of time compared to having sex with a civvie.

[@AMcGrath82]

This video is well-researched, as always. Credit where it is due.

[@mrFalconlem]

its not hard, bring back the ability for men to approach without the possibility of immediate charges being filed, then the approach problem will go away

[@Raymond-rr5iv]

This is a totally new topic for me. Oh really glad that I ran across your video. Thank you❤🙏🇺🇸 !!!

[@FarmingUnclear]

If you don't know what the product is, it means you're the product.

[@Chiszle]

Dating apps shuffle the card deck for everyone. The person you'd have married is booked full on dates with someone else. The future global population is going to be different now. Unlike little things that affect how people meet. Like someone taking a left right instead of right and arriving 5 mins later to meeting their future spouse, this entirely re-rolled the dice.

[@EditioCastigata]

Instagram is one of the largest - if not _the_ largest - dating app.

[@NPJGlobal]

Do people find love on instagram?

[@JewTube001]

@@NPJGlobal It's tinder without swiping. You just search for people and DM them.