LA BISE IS TOO COMPLICATED -

Full show #FRANGLAIS: • PAUL TAYLOR - #FRANGLA...
New show "So British (ou presque)": paultaylorcomedy.com/tickets
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[@paultaylorcomedy]

How many kisses do YOU do?

[@chloelemaur-armengaud842]

2 et en commençant par la droite

[@-phine5427]

Je suis française mais I NEVER KNOW

[@Bob_Mitch]

it depends, Paul...

[@karog.9533]

J'ai quitté la France pour le Canada. Marre de la bise lol Ici c'est pas de bise. C'est un Hug ou un serrage de main. Point barre lol

[@TheCilou6]

In Marseille it's (generally) 2 starting with the right cheek, which is, the LEFT one When I come to visit family and friends in Paris, I convert them all to the left cheek first bise because in Paris it's (generally) 2 bises starting with the wrong cheek (i.e. the right one) and I'd rather they'd do it the PROPER way, which is, obviously, MY way ;p I don't like it when people are on a three bises status, because it's unbalanced, so we end up doing 4 bises which is a fucking waste of time... xoxo

[@castlegarden2999]

*speaks English* *reads French subs*

[@Halvale]

I'm doing the same. 😅

[@gabbyholloman9398]

Glad it not just me 😂

[@yuumamoore7609]

When you're Italian and read the subs in English or in French and listen to him speaking and switching the two languages but still laugh😵

[@BlueEyedSexyPants]

I was doing that, too, and for a split second, I thought "hey, I can understand French!"

[@jqa16]

Too much animé

[@gayuka3189]

Paul : How many kisses in France ? French : oui

[@noey6246]

It depends

[@nathanbrown492]

4:53; that golden guy in the audience who says "not yet"

[@user-jq4xd3ck3d]

HOW TF DID YOU HEAR THAT

[@tdoge]

Brilliant lmao

[@nathanbrown492]

@@user-jq4xd3ck3d Barely, that's how....

[@leonieh.8820]

I DID NOT HEAR THAT IM SCREAMING

[@aimeeahearne6898]

OH MY FUCKING LIFE IM DEAD

[@iProcratinate]

When he said pie chart it was translated as camembert 😆😆

[@amaryllisnightingale6309]

bah c'est comme ça qu'on appel le diagramme rond en français. un camembert. mais oui c'est weird

[@IndefinableSin]

I noticed that too!! I love it!

[@Alexfolledemoi]

Yet another very french thing. Where we see cheese, other people see a pie 😂

[@rodrigosantosvaleriano1859]

In Brazil it's pizza.

[@elaenim]

yep. Because that's how we call it.

[@TheRaphidou]

I'm a French living in Australia, and people are very interested in "la bise" and they ask so many questions as you do. But for us it's not a big deal, we don't rly even think about it though. And I'm still amazed at how fascinated people are about that.

[@SaraH-jn5db]

It's just really strange for us to think about kissing someone you arent close to, even on the cheek. Its confusing and kind of uncomfortable for the rest of us

[@bernardtapie1092]

@@SaraH-jn5db not kiss, only cheeks touching cheeks, kiss is way more intimate.

[@NCLS2751]

Raphaël tu peux lui parler français tu sais, Paul Taylor vit en France..

[@TheRaphidou]

@@NCLS2751 oui mais une partie de sa comu n'est pas française et ne parle pas français, c'est d'ailleurs plutôt à eux que je m'adraissait pour voir leurs réactions et leur expliquer notre point de vue en tmps que français. Et l'anglais reste la langue natale de Paul et je suis sûr qu'il apprécie quand des francophones font l'effort de lui parler en anglais ;-)

[@NCLS2751]

Raphaël je pense que les anglophones de sa comu parlent également français ou du moins ont un niveau suffisant, car pour comprendre les vannes et le spectacle dans son intégralité il est préférable de pratiquer les 2 langues.

[@KimberlyGreen]

Personally, I think this is why parfum is such a big industry in France. Someone comes in for la bise, they get a whiff of you. You want that experience to be pleasant for them, so you give a little spritz of eau de parfum.

[@garryiglesias4074]

We sell parfum... I'm french and NEVER use perfume... Perfume is full of disgusting chemicals, and often smells bad... More teenagers use perfume for their "date hunting", but apart a few "coquets", fortunately, a few people use perfume, I hate perfume and feel dizzy when someone use that around me. It's like in Swiss, they GOT banks, but only a few Swiss people have a huge amount in their bank account, most of the big accounts are foreigners. Perfume was a thing when people took 1 bath a year, 500 years ago...

[@GemPotagueule]

Kimberly G. Cute explanation, but not at all Votre vision de la France est presque ésotérique, parce que les français ne se parfum pas tant que ça Venez dans le metro, ça sent la transpiration à gogo, mais pas coco Chanel

[@KimberlyGreen]

@@GemPotagueule 😟I'm sorry if it seemed that I was implying that the French smell. That's a horrible stereotype and I definitely do not believe it. I was only saying that, if someone is coming close to you, a little parfum makes the experience memorable, evocative and pleasant. I certainly hope that, when someone smells my parfum (Chloe), they think of me & smile.

[@KimberlyGreen]

@@garryiglesias4074 I'm sorry perfume causes such a visceral, unhappy experience for you. I used to work with a woman who was very sensitive to smells as well. So, I sympathize with you.

[@salondethenocturne4948]

Nah, it's because one billion of Chinese want buy perfume in france, that why it's still a big industry

[@golden7595]

- « Bonjour » - « Bonsoir » *ou* - « Bonsoir » - « Bonjour » On en parle pas assez de ça 🙃

[@Annael-ey2im]

Quand je rentre dans le bus le soir, j'ai tendance à dire bonjour et le chauffeur me dit bonsoir, du coup quand j'y pense, je dis bonsoir mais le chauffeur me répond bonjour 😭

[@lesliebestiole3455]

Je hais surtout les Fr pour leur "Ah mais tu dis bonjour alors que c'est le soir lol" P** MAIS QUESTCE QUON SEN FOUT Sérieux notre peuple de Fr a trop de principes à la con et après ils se demandent pourquoi ils sont en dépression.

[@Annael-ey2im]

@@lesliebestiole3455 ?? Aucun rapport avec la depression, vraiment, ton commentaire n'a d'ailleurs aucun sens

[@nathael6350]

Golden Sweetness j’ai pas trop compris tu peux dire bonjour à chaque instant de la journée et tu peux aussi dire bonsoir quand c’est le soir

[@lesliebestiole3455]

@@Annael-ey2im Tu fais donc partie de ces gens qui font des préjugés sur les autres sans comprendre leur chemin de pensée :) Merci beaucoup d'avoir illustré mon propos.

[@rosiefay7283]

3:28 Establishes that the audience guy is French. Talks to him in English.

[@BelleVanSchijndel]

As a Dutch girl who grew up in the US & Germany and who now studies in Brussels, I feel this entire show in my SOUL.

[@emmawautier1146]

Belle van Schijndel its easier in brussels, we only do one (hopefully)

[@bruhmoment1145]

the fact that a pie chart is called camembert in french lights up my life

[@lorenamcd7572]

je pense qu’aucun français ne le sait vraiment, on est tous perdus et on fait au hasard😭

[@MsShani98]

Perso, les gens que j'aime c'est 1 bise, les étrangers 2 bises, si ce sont des hommes je tends la main 😂 ou sinon je dis juste bonjour en souriant 😂 on fait chacun à sa sauce, "ça dépend" 😂

[@andremaube5069]

C’est à l’humeur 🤷‍♂️

[@lesliebestiole3455]

Pcq les Fr ont des principes débiles au lieu de juste faire comme ils le souhaitent ^^

[@psychoredhot]

@@lesliebestiole3455 C'est pas des principes débiles, chaque pays a sa propre façon de dire bonjour ou de se présenter.

[@StarvingPepper]

Perso c'est check aux mecs, 1 bise à la famille et 2 bises aux meufs

[@SoFia-xk2jk]

when he speaks english with french accent I GET SO CONFUSED and start reading the captions nsdbianajs im so stoopid

[@LochNessax3]

As an English-speaking language enthusiast currently learning French, I’m so happy I stumbled onto your channel. I’m in tears hearing about your struggles in France 😂

[@aidanclarke6106]

We do the "bise" because we can't realistically French-kiss everyone 😘😂

[@shizukagozen777]

Shhhhh !!!! Some of them could actually believe that ! 😅

[@cmolodiets]

we can!

[@satibel]

@@shizukagozen777 I hope it's the sexy ones.

[@gabriellemenigaux3737]

Il a la voix de Cyprien quand il parle français 😂

[@JonnJonnTube]

Presque la tête aussi 😄

[@moviefan6688]

Vraiment ? 😂😂

[@lifeofjenben]

My favourite thing I took from this is “pie chart” = Camembert

[@xJustDreamin]

English: A pie chart Canadians: Diagramme circulaire French: .......CAMEMBERT

[@TheRacoonChannel]

Diagramme en pointe de tarte

[@earlem9771]

Canadians say pie chart

[@elsasvenski1566]

In France, at school we must not say "Camembert" but "Circular diagram"

[@silverspider1314]

Wow i have never seen a person master this well two languages, bravo bravo

[@luiysia]

u never met any kinda immigrant kid huh

[@silverspider1314]

luiysia im just impressed by the accent lmao especially french and english there is not french person who can master english and the other way around

[@rosiepooo529]

Sarah-Maude Benoit i've lived in the us for like 7 years and i can tell you i'm fluent in both lol. it's not that hard to be fluent in another language when you're immersed in it.

[@silverspider1314]

Léa Georgescu yeah me too, u can tell im french by my name, but usually there is still an accent and you can tell its not ur first language uk, but yeah ik hes not the only one on the planet who has achieved that so félicitations lol

[@rosiepooo529]

Sarah-Maude Benoit merci lol, je penses quand même que j’ai pas d’accent en anglais parce que j’y suis aller avant de commencer le lycée. c’est beaucoup plus facile de perdre un accent quand on est jeune

[@SiriaBlackYT]

I'm French and I hate "la bise" so much, especially when it's with an old creepy man I've never met before. Guys are lucky with their handshakes and now I often shake hands with people I don't know instead of doing "la bise". If you're a stranger I have to say hello to, no way you're approaching my face with yours!

[@mmika98]

You guys are so ??? In Brazil is kissed and hugs and smiles...

[@oceanedutheil624]

tu sais juste se toucher les joues mutuellement pendant même pas 2sc

[@clarajays]

Bien d'accord.

[@melvng8512]

Ptdrrrr « ses pièges, ses enjeux » 😂😂😂

[@PuffyRainbowCloud]

@@mmika98 Yeah well a lot of people are sensitive to being that intimate with someone. They may be autistic, have previous traumatic experiences, or just straight up not like it! What's wrong with showing a little respect to the fact that people are different. It's good that you like being close to people. I'm happy for you. That's not the case for everyone.

[@TakahataStrify]

My quick bise guide (based on my experience as a 23 years old woman) : - 3 bises in southern France (Occitanie/PACA) - 4 bises in the Parisian region and maybe Normandy/Brittany - 2 bises everywhere else - at work, handshake with superiors (manager level and higher, unless they told you otherwise) and bise with coworkers that are on the same level or lower (the number depends on the region) - when meeting someone on a non-working situation, handshakes between men and bises (number depends on the region) to everyone else. - in a family situation everyone does the bise to everyone (at least in mine) and since family members are not always from the same region you can get in a awkwardly funny situation But the worst thing is that not everyone does the kiss noise and it makes me very uncomfortable

[@Clyman974]

I lived in Paris for most of my life and I've never seen anyone do 4 kisses...

[@TakahataStrify]

@@Clyman974 I spent 6 years in Paris and everyone did 4 bises, I guess it depends

[@LeJobastre1215]

@@TakahataStrify not everybody does 3 kisses in southern france..

[@TakahataStrify]

@@LeJobastre1215 i've lived near the mediterranean cost my whole life. if they don't, they are from another region.

[@LeJobastre1215]

@@TakahataStrify not true

[@sassyqueen384]

me being italian, knowing both english and french, listening to the english, reading the french, double understanding 🤩

[@Balthazar130]

Why am I watching this again? I've seen the show already! Damnit Paul, why are your sketches THAT good, I always come back to them

[@chucktrain11]

Love it Paul. I thought it would be a rehash of your “La Bise” KZbin video but you’ve added loads more and made it fresh and funny all over again. I’m off to find that website.

[@loicmazevet9324]

C’est presque ça. Sauf pour les femmes. Dans le milieu professionnel les femmes à responsabilités sert la main (mais peuvent faire la bise a leur employés/collegues si elles en sont proche). Dans la vie privée c’une manière générale c’est souvent l’un des deux qui passe au stade de la bise et la politesse veut que l’autre ne puisse refuser.

[@GeckoToine]

Be smart, always starts with handshakes and finish with la bise ;o

[@Drakenvlieg]

I don't. Every time someone gets to close to my face, i just yell: "I have a COLD AND IT'S VERY CONTAGIOUS!!" at the top of my lungs. Works 100% 🤣

[@rachemyebba8838]

Your French accent is impeccable!

[@alicehumbert8553]

Il est bilingue 🙃

[@TexasHotel1]

A défaut de savoir combien on fait de bises et à qui on le fait, tu as au moins très bien saisis les autres difficultés de la bise, ses pièges, ses enjeux.

[@arthemis1039]

Vous avez quatres heures

[@TexasHotel1]

@@arthemis1039 Passons directement sur une thèse de 300 pages.

[@away2585]

@@TexasHotel1 recto verso

[@KYNGA100]

@@TexasHotel1 Et en annexe, les câlins amicaux... ce truc est pire que la bise...

[@zeynab107]

On voyant ta pp j'ai cru qu'il y avait vraiment une mouche sur mon tel 😭😂😂

[@-_-Ix54]

In Spain ppl also give kisses

[@MrRookitty]

That's when you take the all or nothing approach. Either everyone gets la bise or no one does!

[@reverie5760]

I'm on BISE-ING terms with these guys

[@TheGamesADAMS]

parler français sans accent anglais c'est déjà très fort, mais alors parler anglais avec l'accent français ça relève du génie

[@guim0uz]

Les français nés en 2020 : "but Paul, what the fuck is la bise ?"

[@zaraf4915]

…this counts as revision for my French exam tomorrow, right??

[@gent8940]

I hold my head still and let the other person sort out which side 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@quinetlea]

Thanks Paul, I'm gonna use your video to teach French to my students in Canterbury. Cheers!

[@LoriWolfcat]

Imagine if you la bise with a fan. Then you have to keep track of that too! 😹

[@val0299]

Qui a cherché sur internet : « combien de bises doit-on faire en France » 😂

[@jeanmanu]

Moi et le site existe vraiment ! : combiendebises.free.fr/ a voté ! :p

[@LTAgarLegends]

@@jeanmanu je connaissais personne qui fait 5 bises ou 1 bise mdr c'est quoi ce site éclaté 😂

[@onyxkun9999]

@@LTAgarLegends 5 bises j'en connais pas mais 1 seule ça existe bien^^

[@davidrakoto7488]

Trop sympa d'avoir publié toutes ces vidéos de ton spectacle, merci beaucoup !!

[@carolinecarolina6873]

Un sujet passionnant et raconte avec tellement d'humour; merci Paul pour en rire aux larmes

[@fannygaignier7586]

2 mais je suis jamais sûre de quel côté je le fais. C'est instinctif ^^

[@KYNGA100]

D'habitude j'en fais 2 aussi... Mais parfois, ça arrive que la personne d'entre face s'arrête à 1... ou monte à 3... Combien de fois j'ai failli embrasser quelqu'un par erreur à cause de ça... 🥺🙊

[@meuboui]

Chez nous les indiens c'est 4... À chaque mariage on est 500.

[@hepyxgoproedit4076]

@@KYNGA100 oh mon Dieu c'est horrible ça 🤮🤢

[@Thinkingabtlife]

Au sud c'est 3

[@clarajays]

Je suis originaire du sud et c'est en arrivant en Bretagne que je me suis rendue compte qu'on commence par la gauche parce que tout le monde ici me le fait remarquer lol. C'est systématique que j'ai une réflexion du genre : "t'es en Bretagne ici, faut commencer a droite". Ou alors "tu me perturbes" 🤣 sérieux, faut faire passer une pétition pour arrêter le massacre 😂

[@davidrjrc1812]

The last part is so true!!! La bise is a gift!

[@jan_Masewin]

the birds and la bise seem to get along pretty well en France

[@KYNGA100]

I'm Swiss and what I'm most unconfortable with is... hugs. It's commun to hug between girls/woman and I NEVER know what to do.... I prefer la bise. But today, I met 3 friends and they *love* hugs. I thought that only 2 of them did, so I hugged them... but then, the third one was sad because I had forgotten her ! I was so sorry and hugged her as well... So... yeah. La bise is complicated. But *hugs are worse*

[@poohoff]

You need therapy

[@KYNGA100]

@@poohoff If you say so...

[@fatinecherkaoui933]

Omg i just discovered this man 😍😍😂😂😂😂❤ omggggg sketch of the year

[@localtraveller2869]

Freaking hilarious and so damn true.

[@Adinails_]

Merci pour ces vidéos !!! Ça m’aide à comprendre les sketchs anglais ! J’ai du mal avec les sketchs américains parce qu’ils parlent vite et ils ont des jeux de mots que je n’ai pas encore ! Mais j’adore les tiens 😍

[@bonne-energie]

🤣🤣 You're a genius mon ami 😂😂

[@cas9278]

I'm from Belgium and I think you guys are quite lucky. You only have to think about how many kisses you have to give while I don't know if I'm supposed to kiss, hug, shake hands, give a little wave or do a combination of them. I seriously hate meeting people, it's so confusing!

[@nvwest]

That last part 😂

[@aimeeahearne6898]

The struggle is real

[@screamer22222]

you are brilliant

[@kadourimdou43]

Just combine "you alright" as a greeting in to one sound, missing the T at the end, like we do in the U.K. You can use sounding like a Seal as a hello.

[@robynplett3086]

I never know how to respond when a British person does this. Like, do I look sick? Did I trip, fall, and forget about it? What is it?!?!

[@InspiPositive]

C'est fucking drôle ! Bien joué my close friend! 😊

[@bengrizzlyadams6187]

Une tuerie!

[@NickGecko]

I'm italian and I'm listening an english monologue about french people. Where my life is going on? Anyway in Italy doesn't depends, we always do two kisses

[@Lecolb]

Une fois que t'as tapé la bises tu ne peux pas revenir en arrière, c'est trop ça 😂 t'as un contrat à respecter 😅

[@akotori]

Hilarious ! Amazing ! Paul j'te kiffe 😁

[@lillakocsmaros4470]

Bising terms😂😂😂

[@naijahijabi]

This is amazing 🤣🤣

[@lesliebestiole3455]

J'adoooore Autant le sketch que le sujet !! Put*n ça dérange jamais personne à part moi !!

[@CESTPASIMPORTANT]

Génial

[@Thomas-on4lb]

Trop fort ces réflexions 😅

[@regan3873]

I like his French voice better because he sounds like Michael McIntyre when he’s speaking.

[@Kly_VR]

Thank you for sharing the extract !! 2 kisses and offer the left cheek first obviously #southteam

[@naimaweder1573]

you should come to switzerland it would be so fun to see a show of yours

[@Sergio-bu2bs]

bonjour vous etes un tres bon observateur vous savez raconter et vous etes tres drole .continué ainsi

[@arierahmat1771]

J'adore votre spectacle Paul! J'ai vraiment envie de le voir. Vous allez avoir des spectacles aux E.U?

[@hemmingstone_]

Je suis morte😂😂

[@leonieh.8820]

WE SPOKE ABOUT THAT IN FRENCH CLASS AND ITS JUST TRUE BAHAHAHHA

[@sebsbeehotel]

when you're so bilingual you don't need subtitles quand t'es tellement bilingue que t'as pas besoin des soutitres

[@Toinette11]

Come to do your show in Stockholm! People would love it!

[@laurabottequin1362]

Nous en belgique c est facile un bise😘 Belgique 🇧🇪🇧🇪🇧🇪

[@latable558]

avec la joue droite toujours

[@citrus2280]

currently doing subtiles for your “Does KZbin Pay me? -Vlog #40”

[@louvie1066]

underated comment. you made my night x)

[@LesFilmsDu78]

Le pire sketch à jouer en ce moment 😂😂😂

[@jessyymoi]

Oui et le corona est daccord avec toi ! Lol

[@raquelitalaviajera1527]

Le bon côté du COVID c'est qu'on fait plus la bise! Fantastique

[@cosmiczyx8428]

I recently befriended a girl who's French and when I met her again, she did that to me and I got so scared for a second

[@DantonSlip]

The subtle art of "la bise " is that you shouldn't actually touch or kiss the other people, just put you face at a side and make the noise. Touching is gross.

[@lolwr4566]

Lol, my uncle gives me bises (he's french) and instead of doing the same thing I just stand still.

[@DantonSlip]

​@@lolwr4566 At least you avoid that akward moment when you start with the same side so you almost kiss on the mouth the other people x)

[@eva-cs6tj]

C'est exactement ça. Mais j'ai déjà eu des reproches du genre ah mais tu donnes des coups de tête ou tu fais la bise😕

[@liveadhdtv]

2:10 ça te donne un camembert theyre called cheese graphs in french? TIL

[@Soken50]

Not just any cheese, The Camembert !

[@vdlr]

In Belgium we give only one kiss but only to our friends or friends of your friends

[@laurah.2688]

Vladetco but if he’s a friend of a friend and you didn’t know and didn’t kiss and he’s angry ? 🤪

[@shizukagozen777]

Valqimir Lucky you.

[@shizukagozen777]

@@laurah.2688 Punch him in the face.

[@emmagil3780]

So funny and I must say that his French is PERFECT 👏🏼

[@faroukaboudou1121]

😂😂 i like you

[@akocbibbo]

we have something similar in the Philippines - its called beso or "beso-beso" where we touch our cheeks to the opposite cheek of the other person. Its very easy to know WHEN to do it as a Filipino guy: 1. For family, Dad and all other female family members, nephews or other male members only when they are younger (like pre-teen before they become akward) 2. For close friends, if they initiate and do it once, most probably you'll have to do it next time (like old classmates, friends from high school or college) 3. For close friends at work, normally if you've attended non-work activities with them, then you can do it..mostly girls, almost never with guys 4. Almost never for new acquaintances or on a date 5. Just pick up the social queues - if they do it and you reach out your hand, and they go in for the beso, most probably just reciprocate.

[@chloeparfait2747]

J'aime vraiment beaucoup trop ce mec il est super drôle et moi-même en tant que femme française ça me soule tellement de faire la bise au gens

[@clelia4837]

Alors moi c'est deux et toujours en tendant la joue droite en première ! Et ça pour tout le monde😂

[@JR-jd3xm]

hahahahahahahha the best!

[@embernyx2564]

I'm learning French in school, and this is a great way to get used to the language. I'm better at reading French right now, but one day I'll be able to speak as well as this guy, I hope. I think the main thing I've learned is swear words, though. "Allez-vous faire fouture" Is my new go to.

[@SaraH-jn5db]

I found the survey map he talked about, according to that its usually 2

[@lorina996]

c'est brillant xD

[@SaltyDecaf]

This reminds me of the tú vs. usted problem in Spanish speaking countries.

[@bookbunny9]

Bise-ing 😂 J'suis hongroise, on fait la bise deux fois!

[@lmnp0]

C’EST FACILE : Serrage de main dans un contexte professionnel et bise dans un contexte amicale

[@Sub-Atomic]

4 kisses in most of north France, generally 3 in south France, most of the time you start with the right cheek

[@IlhaanBlueAce]

FOR GOD SAKE MATE 😂😂 WOW

[@camcam4242]

Qui fait le petit bruit en même temps que faire "la bise"

[@Cappuchettey13]

Si tu fais pas le bruit tu passes pour quelqu'un de bizarre mdrr

[@heroic3482]

So true ^^

[@heddadybvadskog-nebb5603]

I went to La Reunion (a French overseas territory) last year with a project thing that my school was a part. i stayed with a host family where no one spoke a word of English and we went to the school of my host- where I was dragged around and given La bise by 30-40 of her closes friends. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life

[@Leelz247]

Ok, reading the subtitles, the French call a pie chart camembert? 🤣

[@aidanclarke6106]

Yes we do. We love our cheeses 😂🤣