I Found a Part of German Culture I Don’t Like (I Made Two Germans Mad) | Story Time

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In this video I will share how my attempt to try to make a doctor's appointment lead me to getting yelled at on the phone.... and how I finally understand the German Punctuality culture which I never fully understood until now that I work in a German company and I see what Germans do if they are late.... it's shockingly different than what I'm use to in the US.
Keywords: Germany vs US cultural differences, German doctor experience, German doctor office, Healthcare in Germany vs USA, Working in Germany as an American, American in Germany, First job in Germany as American. Story Time.

[@HiFromHamburg]

The first 1,000 people to use this link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/hifromhamburg08211

[@princefaze5761]

Hello how are you doing my dear 🌹 friend

[@jabba_der_hut4114]

Meine Pünktlichkeit drückt aus, dass mir deine Zeit so wertvoll ist wie meine eigene.

[@berulan8463]

Das ist für einen Hutten eine ungewöhnlich höfliche Einstellung. :)

[@smtpgirl]

@Karma Consciousness exactly!!

[@KJ-md2wj]

Blödsinn.

[@doroparker1702]

@Karma Consciousness being punctual means to show respect. What is more important than being respectful to people?

[@matteloht]

@Karma Consciousness There is literally nothing more precious than your "Lebenszeit" (lifetime) that you waste from that other person you're make wait for you.

[@hmvollbanane1259]

The reason why punctuality is taken so seriously is because it is a question of respect to us. If you are late you are wasting the other person's time. If there is a couple of minutes time window in which to show up in the us than that simply means that an appointment by 10 means actually 10:05 in the us, so just think about the same time being told to you in German meaning 9:55 so you have your couple of minutes to arrive late/ have small talk while waiting

[@CesarGarcia-nd5xz]

Yeah, but you guys take it at PTSD levels 😅

[@smtpgirl]

@@CesarGarcia-nd5xz exactly!!

[@smtpgirl]

@@hovawartfreunde4599 and the Washington DC Metro system is late too. I have learned what I can accept and make my appointments later in the day.

[@b.w.9244]

If YOU are the one that waits for the late person, then YOU are wasting the time of all the others in the group. You should have started without the late person.

[@smtpgirl]

@@b.w.9244 totally agree. Thank you.

[@JiCiT-72]

Not everyone in the USA is so lax about punctuality, at least in the work place. At my prior employer, you were expected to be seated and ready for the meeting at the exact start time. Getting to a meeting 3-5 minutes early was the standard. Personally, I preferred things that way.

[@hmvollbanane1259]

"5 Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Deutschen Pünktlichkeit" ~ 5 minutes before the time is the German's punctuality. Guess you would fit right in over here ;)

[@nopenope1]

@@hmvollbanane1259 nope/maybe not anymore? but about the 15:00 Uhr appointment you should be ready ;) I'd like that and personally aim for it. In the company I work it's actually more like 5-10, sometimes 15 minutes later... it's annoying as ... and that's in Germany, German company. Not sure why it's that bad here, even 30 minutes meetings could be delayed because of one or two participants for 5-10 minutes and for short meetings that's terrible. Maybe meetings were delayed and instead of getting 'better' everybody assumes it's 5 minutes later anyway and the vicious circle started? 😅 The 'real' Germans are the Swiss btw IMO ;)

[@Trifler500]

Yes, but at the same time, if an employer always expects you to arrive early (especially daily), then IMO they are disrespecting your time.

[@JiCiT-72]

@@Trifler500 There was no expectation to start working early. This was strictly for meetings.

[@Trifler500]

@@JiCiT-72 That's good. My friend currently has a job that expects workers to be there early every day or employees get written up. :(

[@ingridschraufstatter3812]

From a German living in the US: Complaining about being late by a minute is petty. On the other hand, I've never encountered a single meeting in the US that did not start at least 10 minutes late, because people are tardy. Admittedly, not being raised in the US, small talk is a painful waste of time for me.

[@saschamohr7970]

I have a different experience having worked for big US tech companies in the past. People were on time.

[@lonespokesperson7254]

Small talk actually comes in handy, because here it is on you to find out how sincere people actually are, regardless of them being acquaintances or fellow employees. Many Germans (not all) are pretty rigid in their beliefs, which leaves little room for a positive element of surprise, which can be helpful for everyone.

[@Dalmen]

this is a part of the amarican culture.

[@lisbethfrost5024]

@@jenniferw758 I don’t think you understand cultural differences

[@lisbethfrost5024]

@Karma Consciousness What are you on about? Do you not understand that what is right in one culture, isn’t necessarily right in an other culture? Before you start screaming at other people that they cannot take criticism, you should take a very hard look at yourself. Is asking people how it is going and not wanting to hear an honest answer really coming from a place of love and kindness, or is it just an expression of a shallow interaction between people who don’t really care? There is no right way or wrong way but there are many different ways, and we should understand that people from different cultures aren’t arrogant or evil, but operate from a different set of rules.

[@HoldMySoda]

It is just professional being punctual. I use to have a lot of intentional business meeting and usually it is not accepted being late no matter wich nationality the participants have.

[@Tom-hz1kz]

We are working a lot fewer hours in Germany thanks to all the vacation time, paid sick leave, and less overtime in general. This means we have to make up productivity by actual working at work instead of just being physically at work but relaxed chilling.

[@sonjagatto9981]

👍💚

[@frankh.4421]

For me this is not a cultural question but a question of social interaction. To understand this, a change of perspective could be helpful. Let us assume that you have been given an important and urgent task for the company and that you have to report to your boss shortly. You have invited colleagues to a meeting and need everyone to do your job. The colleagues are not punctual. You wait 20 minutes and don't know if they are still participating. You are under a lot of pressure. What would you think of your colleagues if they came along and pretended nothing happened. I guess you'd say I'm not important to others and they don't care a bit about the company. Punctuality is not an obsession but expresses respect for others. If someone apologizes for being thirty seconds late, it's just a kind gesture. It's just extremely polite. Nobody would be angry. This also applies if you were unable to cancel in time. This punctuality etiquette also applies to bosses. The only excuse is that their schedule is probably even busier. It may be a difference between cultures that problems are addressed directly here in order to solve them clearly and quickly. In Germany this is normal and effective. In other cultures it is considered very rude and should have been respected in this case. Unfortunately, you will find it even more common that some Germans do not know or take into account the other cultural manners.

[@pookyac42]

Yes, you're right for sure. 🙂 It _is_ a cultural issue 😉. In a similar setting I was 20 seconds (!) late for an online business meeting and I (as a German) got totally confused with the fact that everybody kept on smiling and I was assumed to have known why. I literally had to read the air, to figure out what was going on. - Japanese business meeting online... 😅😉 The worse the appointment was going, the more the Japanese colleague smiled, just to save the situation. Felt a bit awkward to me. 😄 Edit: typos 😉

[@Nikioko]

It is pretty easy: the meeting can only start when everybody is attending. So if you are late, even just a minute, everybody is waiting for you. So they spend their working time to sit and wait.

[@hansmayer7652]

12:25 My personal german view: I don't get mad if someone is 1-3 minutes late or if it is an exception but if someone is always late more like 10-15minutes this person is wasting my time. And often you have to do something extra for this person (for example get the tickets for him/her for a event etc. before it is closed/sold out). That is annoying if I have to do more work because someone is never able to be on time.

[@Anson_AKB]

there is also a difference whether you are a few minutes late on some general event, or whether the meeting was scheduled to start at a specific time which includes to already be there and have everything prepared, not arriving a little late, finding a seat, putting documents on the table or boot your laptop, etc, which all can be more or less distracting to the others. this applies especially if you have to contribute some part to the meeting, or if important announcements were already done which now have to be repeated or which you are missing. i learned this when i did some _Praktikum_ in a company where that specific department was shutting down and had only 2 machines and three workers left (from originally 200+ machines and many workers) and thus there was effectively almost no work to do. but my boss had a serious talk with me when i only arrived one minute early and thus hadn't yet changed clothing and wasn't yet at my working space (which happened to be a table where we played cards until once a day something had to be done for 10 minutes). he told me that the starting time meant to be ready and at my place before that time. later he had another talk with me to not play cards instead of working, but to my question which work we should do, he answered "i don't know, there is no work". thus yes, this can be called petty, and maybe he was frustrated that instead of being boss for dozens of workers, a week later he would have to start over again as a simple worker in another department. nonetheless, he formally was right in the first talk (but of course not in the second where he admitted that there was no work)

[@SuperLittleTyke]

1 to 3 minutes is already quite a long time if everyone else is seated and ready.

[@jonahortlam2966]

In German there is a sentence about punctually. It's called: Fünf Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Deutschen Pünktlichkeit.

[@martinjunghofer3391]

10 Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Deutschen Höflichkeit! Und Höflichkeit ist deutlich mehr als nur Respekt!

[@grandmak.]

@@martinjunghofer3391 wenn wir schon bei Sprichwörtern sind : " Pünktlichkeit ist die Höflichkeit der Könige".

[@k8con]

Außer bei der Deutschen Bahn, wo eine fünfminütige Verspätung keine offizielle Verspätung mehr ist 😐🚅

[@martinjunghofer3391]

@@grandmak. richtig, das war mal so; wir leben aber zwischenzeitlich in einer Demokratie und haben das rüberretten können!

[@martinjunghofer3391]

@@k8con das ist der Nachteil der Privatisierung!

[@spinFK]

This one-minute, two-minute thing is in Germany before the agreed time. In the US, it's after.

[@nod_jawk]

About the medical appointment, the person was just angry about the system putting her in a complex situation, and maybe angry for other reasons from her life, and you were the perfect person she could - at that moment - turn to in order to express her complain. You were just her scapegoat ^^'

[@guyro3373]

I am not sure if I understood the situation correctly. Normally, when you are in need of a doctor, you will call the doctor's office to set up an appointment. 116117 is often seen as a service used for urgent appointments when all doctors could not give you a date because they are booked, and who will then "strongly encourage" doctors to somehow "make a time slot that works". So instead of simply being able to tell you "we are booked solid, would it be OK to come in tomorrow", the doctor's office will feel more or less forced to offer you a very timely appointment, no matter what this means for their schedule. Small wonder that people are not happy about it.

[@crappiefisher1331]

@@guyro3373 also we dont know anything about what actually happened.. maybe the call - which was considered rude by an american woman in germany - was simply a direct straight forward call telling her whats up and that it is kinda hard to fit her in and if she came she would have to wait a long time.. so maybe something no german would ever bat an eye about, but her american sensitivities - and being used to overly friendly customer service - made her feel attacked.... listening to what she said the woman said to her on the phone i think there was nothing really offensive or rude... ofc i dont know the tone those things were said, but if what lila summarized was the actual wording i can't see anything rude or offensive donno why are people always so quick with their judgement after hearing just one side of the story

[@doroparker1702]

@@crappiefisher1331 yes, I agree. Americans are not used to communicate correctly. They will always cover up the truth. They always tell you that everything is fine. Until the project goes downhill really bad. Germans just tell her how the system works and she thinks it is rude? Well, girl, wake up to reality. I guess she never was at any doctor in USA. She needs to visit American doctors with 10 000 dollars cash or they just send her back home.

[@barbsmart7373]

@@crappiefisher1331 I understand what you have written. But I will give you my very typical Kiwi perspective. Firstly, I am quite amused by the German idea that Americans (and others of us) are "sensitive". It seems the way it is described by the many people who like and defend their own German ways. But for us, it is not really like that. We are absolutely not what we would call sensitive in most situations. We are normally surrounded by friendly, helpful people, so very very rarely are we confronted by such hostile nonsense. In fact, kindness, helpfulness, and manaakitanga are important parts of our Kiwi culture. Women in particular have a pleasant feminine way of interacting with people, (and dressing, smelling, etc). I think women would be more shocked due to their more pleasant, friendly manner. Efficiency is generally very much superceded by caring about other people in terms of importance. (Our lovely korero with the people we meet is in no way fake or superficial. It is very genuine. I guess we are just so casual and practised at it, and so are good at knowing what can be said in just a minute or two, that comes very natural and easy). Even the words used to describe our culture is very condescending. Words like sensitive and smalltalk have a nasty ring to them in the minds of English speaking people. If a front desk worker here was to speak to people the way German front desk people sometimes do, we would be really shocked. We just don't get that kind of treatment. It is shocking to be spoken to like that, in such an inhuman, horrrible manner. When you are a person who is polite, pleasant, and also rather friendly, and you experience thousands of interactions each year of your life, and almost all are similarly pleasant, then coming across a horrible person does leave you stunned. A worker in NZ would likely be disciplined for being rude and inappropriate towards a member of the public. These ghastly interactions are so unusual and disturbing, that they are unforgettable. Some of the stories about German aggression are really upsetting- just hearing about them. I have heard stories that highlight the many anal aspects of German culture. This includes horrible physical treatment from a German doctor, cruel and traumatizing treatment by a German schoolteacher, racism by German people, cold interrogations by a frontline worker, people yelling on the street for breaking some perceived fundamental rule, and other sorts of interactions. One mindblowing thing we hear about which seems even worse than the British with their harsh treatment of children. It seems that in Germany, children are yelled at by strangers- just for being children. It is great that the cruel treatment of children is no longer popular in Britain, New Zealand and other countries. It has been an eye opener to me to hear about strangers thinking they need to yell at other people's children. I have even been told by family members about being yelled at here in New Zealand by a German cyclist (because of something he thought must have been worth yelling about) when visiting our beautiful country. I still remember a strange thing I read about in a book by the American author Joyce Landorf a long time ago. Her German husband insisted that toilet paper roll a certain way on its' holder!!? The worst I heard once was about 2 older German women who yelled at a Jewish man in a Hamilton Valentine Restaurant ("dirty Jew") after he had gone to get a second helping of food. Along with a habit of staring at strangers when out in public and the tendency for people to be hyperactive and inpatient in supermarkets, and being lacking in friendly, casual interactions, I would not have any interest whatsoever in putting my feet on German soil. To me, there are so many places very close to New Zealand where people are consistently very happy and friendly. In fact, many Peoples of the Pacific are even happier, friendlier and far more giving than New Zealanders are! Listening to and reading comments written by Americans helps me see big similarities with Kiwis that I hadn't thought about before. I am not saying that German people are not wonderful, because they are. ButI know that being pleasant, uplifting, helpful and cheerful is so fundamental in my daily life, that I would not risk being subjected to the overt prejudice, level of coldness, or even the staring, yelling, timechecking, correcting, and other things that I can not mention publicly. There are many things in New Zealand that are also rather bad, so we are all learning from others. I wish that Kiwis would be more like Germans in many areas, like with recycling, diet, and other things. I hope people here like honesty and are not sensitive to other people's views. I welcome any comments as there are always different ways to see a topic. I have pondered about being strictly punctual. In the workplace it is a good idea. But hearing about 30 seconds and people ready to respond to these seconds of lateness so immediately...well that feels really gross, and a bit hard to get one's head around. I remember a Kiwi friend said he had gone to Germany to live. His German girlfriend took him to church at Christmas time and then tried to insist that he not take off his jacket. And yet other rules, like having only one boyfriend didn't seem important to her. For a Kiwi, or the British, we are left wondering why there are so many rules about highly trivial things, when humane, kind, civilized behaviour seem to be in some areas quite lacking. I read about this in an old book I am reading by an English lady. It is quite intriguing, and it would be good to understand.

[@LiebeNachDland]

Interessante Stories. Lernen kann man immer. Schön, dass du an der Elbe und im Hafen warst.

[@wolfgangneff3007]

I am retired now and I was working almost all my life as a software developer near Stuttgart, South Germany. Anyways, being late in a meeting for a few minutes never was a problem. But in 1984, as a beginner, I moved to Hamburg und I was working also as an IT professional in a big insurance company in the City Nord. After 6 month I quit my job because I didn't feel well with the mentality of my co -workers there in Hamburg. I think it was not only this extreme punctuality but also the missing friendliness I didn't feel well there.

[@ultimateSuper]

The thing is: if everyone is there on time, the meeting starts at the indicated time. As soon as someone is late, people start talking about something else, you loose focus, and the meeting is delayed, and maybe even shortened. As a German living in France, I don't like it. I hate it as well when you have to wait for a long time, like five months, to get a doctor's appointment. I don't even understand the concept: I am sick right now, what do I care about an appointment in five month? It makes no sense to me that doctors would fill up their calendar for five months. If so many people need appointments, there should be more doctors...

[@ultimateSuper]

@@Rainerjgs Ich habe eigentlich nur das Problem in dem Video besprochen... Persönlich habe ich aber auch schon mal 2/3 Monate bei einem HNO-Arzt warten müssen. Da es auch kein Notfall war, war es ja auch nicht schlimm. Für Leute die auf dem Land wohnen, so wie mich, gibt es leider oft keinen anderen Spezialisten in einem 50 Km Umkreis...

[@nopenope1]

@@ultimateSuper ich habs so verstanden ;) und natürlich kann man über vieles nicht wirklich vorausschauend (Glaskugel) Spezialisten-Termine vorausplanen, oder doch? Dazu, böse?, sind sicherlich die Termine voll, aber den einen oder anderen Termin für Privatpatienten wird man da schon vorhalten ;(

[@berndhoffmann7703]

@@Rainerjgs ? Ich dachte er spricht von Frankreich. Wie auch immer Arzttermine werden gleich vergeben, hier sprechen wir von Facharztterminen, die man - wenn gesetzlich versichert - nur per Überweisung bekommt. Dringende Termine (jetzt krank) werden auch beim Facharzt entprechend terminiiert, oft macht auch gleich der Hausarzt den Facharzttermin, wenn er es für dringend hält.

[@sregan5415]

Those are 2 different problems there. Lack of healthcare is not caused by people being 1 or 2 minutes late. There's clearly a shortage of doctors.

[@nopenope1]

@@sregan5415 not really, Germany does not lack of doctors in most areas... maybe for a specialist you have not in your near your small city or village... you have to travel to the next larger one

[@berndhoffmann7703]

easy rule: the last one entering the room, leads through the meeting or is writing the protocol. Bosses should lead by example therefore they are usually on time. If the boss has the habit to be late, everyone else will start to be late. Anyway there is a difference in company culture at. each company and it is depending what they are doing. Generally speaking creative working departments / companies the rules are more relaxed

[@B.A.B.G.]

The receptionist was certainly in the wrong for calling you angrily, when you didn't do anything wrong that evening. Just apologize for not being on time and from now on think of planning 5 minutes ahead. When you get invited to eat at someone's house, then a minute of delay is still accepted, parking trouble, a red light, or road work can cause that. And there it might be considered rude to be too early. You need to know the other person and see what their character is like, in order to be sure.

[@SuperLittleTyke]

Even if the receptionist was wrong, and we will never know the tone of voice she was using, non-Germans (i'm English) find it hard to be forceful in their response because it's not in their nature. I lived in Germany for 12 years and I sometimes had to address rudeness head on. It's the German way. Germans will respect you more if they realise you're not a shrinking violet. I think maybe you need to not apologise so much!

[@B.A.B.G.]

@@SuperLittleTyke Hi there, I meant Lila should apologize for the second incident. I may have understood her wrong, but she was supposed to call the next morning when the opening hours began, right? However, it was the same day when the KV gave her that information that the woman from the doctor's office called her of her own accord. And there was no need for Lila to apologize, because as far as I can see she didn't do anything wrong. As for how to deal with Germans I think I know how to deal with them, rudeness is not their way. Directness absolutely, but nobody has to tolerate unnecessary rudeness if you didn't do anything to deserve it.

[@SuperLittleTyke]

@@B.A.B.G. Yeah, but there is a fine line between directness and rudeness and everyone's perception is different. But Lia hasn't been living there long, so she has a lot to learn with regard to the way Germans act and react. After almost 13 years there I had had enough and returned to Britain. It is more relaxed here. Inefficient. Nothing gets done. The government is crap. But it is home and home is where the heart is.

[@B.A.B.G.]

@@SuperLittleTyke Well certainly, but I really don't care what people would call rude, when it's the truth. In case you hadn't guessed, I'm German and have lived in Germany for more than 20 years. And like you stated correctly home is where the heart is. I'll take straight honesty over politeness that veils the urgence of the issue any day. That's me, but of course I won't force anyone to conform to me.

[@nopenope1]

the last one, oh do I ... dislike ... it, if someone show up to early, I might be not ready yet and things get hectic. 5 Minutes to me is fine, but I personally probably wait if I do not know the person outside if I'm early (which of course I plan to be for the Ifs ;) ) One time somebody showed up half an hour earlier, that was doof.

[@aurayadewitt5301]

As you mentioned briefly, punctuality is a lot about respect for most germans. Especially in the workplace, they feel that being unpunctual shows that someone is not taking something seriously, "has something better" to do, or just doesn't value their coworkers' time. If everyone was doing it, it would be different, but if there are 5 people who are punctual and one person is not, it stands out and everyone is just waiting for one person. For most Germans, being on time means being a little early. That said, everyone knows and understands that circumstances can conspire to make someone late. Noone will rip your head off if you are late because of technical difficulties (unless they are due to a lack of preparation), e.g. your internet fails spontaneously. Or if you get held up in a previous meeting, etc. That is also what the apologies are about. It shows that someone isn't just late on a whim, because they forgot, or just didn't pay attention, but rather that there was a reason that was out of their hands. That they weren't late because of a lack of respect. I think another reason is that most Germans don't like meetings all that much and don't want to spend more time on them than necessary. I might be projecting there :D So if I have to plan an extra 5 min grace period for every meeting I set for everyone to join, that'll quickly add up. Here, again, it would be different if it was the norm, but it also makes planning difficult for everyone else. Since everyone is expected to be punctual, people will schedule back-to-back meetings and someone being late for this meeting, it might make them late for their next meeting. Edit: One thing to add: if you know you'll be running late, communicate that to someone if possible, so ppl know what's going on and can adjust accordingly. As was mentioned by your boyfriend, it's partly the frustration of not knowing how long the wait will be, if it's worth doing something else in the meantime, if the person is still coming at all, etc that will get ppl mad. You'll find that it's a lot less of a problem if ppl know 5 min before that you'll be running late because of something. It shows that despite the delay, that you respect their time and are aware of how you are impacting the meeting.

[@matthiasrupp3566]

Regarding the being stressed by the German system: I have never experienced others being mad if I told them that I will be late before the actual appointment, so being on time with telling them that you have to fix something quickly or that you are in traffic is perfectly fine.

[@wora1111]

Listening to the final statement of you and your boyfriend I noticed that I am not annoyed by somebody being late but rather by me not knowing about it (in advance).

[@robs.6015]

Generally in the USA, the online meeting will start 5 minutes after to allow for people getting off of previous meetings to make the switch ( or use the rest room). Sometimes, this is extended to 10 minutes after. At that point the meeting will generally start no matter what. The 5 or 10 minute delay is used to introduce ourselves and sometimes give a quick professional background, etc. when I worked in Japan, punctuality culture was even MORE severe than Germany. Japanese will actually begin to get seriously angry and anxious if EVERYONE is not present at least 5 minutes before the meeting. I once received an angry telephone call as I was walking into the building a full 5 minutes before schedule, in Japan.

[@BlazingDrag00n]

The thing with german punctuality is that 2 things collide. 1) being late without telling in advance means you are wasting other peoples time. 2) We germans LOVE to plan ahead. We plan to be at the meeting/appointment/whatever 5 minutes early so that we can start in time (just as it was planned)

[@acaken7269]

well not in my case, many germans i met they do not love to plan ahead unless it relates to work.

[@konydabig5390]

in german we would say "5 min vor der Zeit ist des Deutschen Pünktlichkeit!"

[@HiFromHamburg]

But why?

[@switch_lp1386]

@@HiFromHamburg because we want to be nice

[@thkempe]

@@HiFromHamburg Being 5 min early you can be more relaxed. You dont need to run. If there is a short delay, you can compensate it.

[@slawinsky8951]

@@HiFromHamburg Because Germans get uncomfortable if someone is not on time. I am usually at the meeting point 5 minutes before the time and I like this very much about Germany.

[@martinjoest856]

@@HiFromHamburg So you can start on time. In case a Group auf 20 enters a room it takes 2-3 Minutes to take a seat and an other 2 Minutes to arrange paper pencils and iPad. In the case most attendeds are 5 Minutes early the meeting starts on time.

[@CorvanEssen]

I was laughing out loud when you said people have their finger hovering over the button one minute before the meeting starts, because yeah, that's what happens. Meeting starts in 5 minutes and you start to think 'can I still get coffee in that time?'

[@TinaKGreene]

I'm not German, but I feel the same about time. I get nervous even if I see that my roommate is going to be late, let alone me - never!

[@SuperLittleTyke]

I don't understand why you seem to have such a problem with what being punctual means. If a train departure board says the train is leaving at 10:00 am there's no point turning up 15 seconds later and expecting the train to still be at the platform. Sometimes you may be lucky, but Germans especially don't depend on luck, they depend on planning and then executing that plan to the letter. There's many a time i've been sitting on a train in Germany at the start of a journey, checking my watch, and as my watch ticks over to 10:00 am the train starts moving.

[@nicowood5679]

The punctuality thing is like this: they want to start working at the exact time they said and if some people come late, even if it only is a couple of seconds, the meeting gets interrupted.

[@cf5330]

Pünktlichkeit finde ich dann wichtig, wenn ich durch meine Verspätung die Zeit eines anderen verschwende. Das halte ich für unzuverlässig. Gar nicht zu erscheinen, ohne wenigstens kurzfristig einen Grund anzugeben, wenn nichts schlimmes passiert ist, finde ich völlig unverschämt und zeigt, dass dem anderen meine Zeit egal ist. Meines Erachtens ein Zeichen mangelnden Respekts. Aber bei der Arbeit 30 Sekunden zu spät zu sein, wenn die Zeit an der Stechuhr sowieso gemessen wird, ist wirklich egal. Manche regen sich einfach über alles auf.

[@CavHDeu]

I always come 5 minutes late to the doctor, like they always do 😁

[@lotharschepers2240]

Consider that we Germans normanly skip the smalltalk and go straight to the point, which maens at 10:00 a clock sharp the real stuff starts. If someone did miss the first few seconds he/she maybe miss a serious information and to avoid that the whole Team have to go to the start again. Yes I'm a native German.

[@ukraus]

It's a sign of respect. 5 minutes early is perfect.

[@nickwittler3696]

It really depends on your company and whether it’s online or in person. In the time pre Covid we’ve always been gathering like a minute or two early in the meeting room just to spend another 5-7 minutes getting coffee or snacks or waiting for other people to get ready. So we were late anyways but in a comfy way if that makes sense. With online meetings nowadays we’re always like super punctual because the vibe’s gone of wasting time together as a group, it feels more like being an individual wasting the groups time.

[@nod_jawk]

More than respect of the time they "waste", I think it's about you FORCING them to wait for you. That's why the bosses can do it, while simple employee can't : they can force their employees to do many work tasks, anyway, so making their employees wait for them is their privilege of "the one who gives orders". But when we're waiting for someone, we are DEPENDING on him to arrive, and it seems Germans think that you're overestimating yourself if you're the one that takes the privilege to put the others in the situation of being forced to wait for Her Majesty to arrive (I'm willingly exaggerating to explain the feeling). Like "what are we for her ? Not important ?". It's as if you were taking the lead, because you're imposing your pace. Japanese people quite think the same, and even more : for them, if you're well educated, then you MUST do what you can to not disturb the group life / schedule / habits.... So I assume it's still a question of respect, but more the respect of the "rank" you have compared to them : if you're not a superior, then you arriving on time means "You see, I'm like you, I'm conforming, not indulging in creating disorder. I'm a teammate just like the others". That's how I perceive this from outside, I'd love real German people to confim or invalidate that, though. And I must say I should have understood all this "a minute late is an affront to me" thing way sooner ^^'

[@mortusanteportas86]

Confirming! Punctuality in German culture it is a matter of respect, especially if you are the more junior person (either in rank or in age). Being late due to circumstances that are within your control, signifies that your counterparty’s time is not as valuable as your time. Starting a meeting right on time is a sign of mutual respect. Also it totally customary to appear for a meeting 5 minutes early. This is showing respect for the time of the other participants and ensures that the meeting can start on time. (Thus valuing everyone’s time) as a general rule of thumb you could say: 5 minutes early is on time, 15 minutes early is early, 20 minutes early is really early everything more than 30 minutes early is too early. On the other hand: If you are late due to circumstances beyond your control, call and let people know! They are usually very understanding in those cases.

[@nod_jawk]

@@mortusanteportas86 Danke schön :)

[@barbsmart7373]

Kia ora from New Zealand, Thanks for your video. I have never known a German person personally, and I think it is is partly because they sort of don't say much and they are difficult to hear when they are nearby. They are also more serious and not particularly friendly. Kiwis think very much along the lines as you do, so I feel much respect and empathy for you having to tolerate being around people who get pissed off at such small things. Kiwis are known as being pretty laid back, so being pedantic (about the times children can play in their backyard, the way the toilet paper hangs, how long it takes to pack stuff at the checkout, if you are a minute late, whether you take your jacket off in church, how you pronounce German words, whether your neighbour has put her recycling items out etc) never has any particular importance in New Zealand. I would say that being patient and keeping your individual opinions to yourself, accepting others the way they are and absolutely how they speak English, not giving other people advice, and supporting others and things like that are more important down here. It is quite chilling to hear how people are waiting to catch someone, in this case, being half a minute or so late!!! I look forward to seeing more of your videos and how an American finds life there.

[@dirkkrause948]

If you are in a high position it is not ok being late. I personally don't care who you are or what your position is. If you are late without telling me, I'm waiting exactly 5 minutes. I did this with high positions like resort managers in the past or with my wife as well. 5 minutes late and I go. Sounds crazy but my life is short and my time valuable. Same like yours. Cheers Dirk

[@alesecond]

Cool video I thought about the punctuality in Germany when I was there

[@grandmak.]

What difference does it make to you to be at a meeting 3 minutes early and be ready to actually start the meeting on time ? This doesn't require too much discipline, does it ?

[@sregan5415]

I don't think she's advocating being late but rather not being so angry if someone is 1 or 2 minutes late. I agree that being a bit early is better. But unless the session of the meeting is explicitly time critical (e.g. if the other person has back-to-back meetings and the presentation takes exactly 30 minutes), it makes no sense to be angry about just 1 or 2 minutes late. I think this is a German quirk. Like Italians get incensed if you talk about putting pineapple on a pizza. Or we (English) get incensed if someone doesn't say please or thank you. The visceral sense of anger is just cultural and illogical.

[@HiFromHamburg]

@@sregan5415 Yes, thank you. You see what I was trying to say. Most of the comments misunderstood my entire point. I was trying to point out a culture difference, where some cultures don't see 1-2 minutes as being late. I asked all my American friends, and they said they don't see 1-2 minutes as being late in the US so they wouldn't apologize for this amount of lateness. Latin America has a completely different sense of "lateness". Most of the comments are bullying me, but I wasn't saying anything besides just a cultural difference... -.-

[@acaken7269]

@@HiFromHamburg I'm so sorry bout what you have met. :/ Cos what I have met or most of the meetings i had so far here in Hamburg they wont start on time and no one will say you are late if you come 1 to 3 mins late. They wont considered it late.

[@MrLuddis]

@@HiFromHamburg I don't see any "bullying" here. Not a single comment is unfriendly.

[@reko7264]

Hi from Südbaden, thx for the video...the time issue i am on your side. Up to 2-3minutes no thing. But in our region our village(3000people) is known for beeing a bit lazy on punctually. So i have an excuse for beeing a Sulzer.

[@Nikita-uc8od]

Pünktlichkeit in Deutschland ist nur eine Definitionssache und abhängig davon ob es berufliche oder private Termine sind. Beruflich ist es meist ohne die akademische Viertelstunde, privat eher mit. 🙂 Wenn ein Meeting oder eine Veranstaltung um 10 Uhr angesetzt ist, dann startet man um Punkt 10 Uhr mit der Begrüßung und den Themen. Die Zeit anzukommen und Smalltalk zu halten verschiebt sich einfach auf die Minuten davor. Deshalb ist der Trick einfach der, dass man immer 5-10 Minuten früher da ist, dann hat man auch noch Zeit zum Ankommen, Smalltalk etc. In der Freizeit sollten 5-10 Minuten später kein Problem sein, es sei denn der Wartende ist überpünktlich und wartet dann vllt schon 20 Minuten ☺️ Bei Freunden weiß man aber irgendwann wie sie ticken und passt sich einfach an. Wenn man weiß, dass man später kommt, ist es höflicher Bescheid zu geben, dann kann der Wartende in der Zeit vllt noch schnell was erledigen und man „verschwendet“ so nicht seine Zeit. Ich bin lieber die, die wartet, als die, die sich vor allen entschuldigen muss ☺️ Behaupte jetzt einfach mal, dass introvertierte Menschen, die in Deutschland aufgewachsen sind, eher überpünktlich sind. 😬😄

[@starryk79]

well in case of the doctor you did nothing wrong, she just blamed you for the work she had to do. But you did what you were recommended to do and the service decided that your reason to want an appointment within 24 hours was a valid one. I would definitely not have apologized for that. About punctuality in online meetings: i normally join at the minute the meeting is supposed to start but not at 0 seconds necessarily. We use Ms Teams and if someone is online but does not join there is the option to send a notification to that person which is used in my team. The problem is that some of my co workers have really a tight schedule with one meeting directly followed by the next and then even a few minutes later do matter. When it comes to appointments for doctors or other services like the hairdresser i normally try to be there between 5 min before and 5 min after the appointment and so far i haven't had any problems even if i was a few minutes too late. I also don't like to be more than 10 minutes early.

[@ellie3477]

I'm member of different commitees at our university and often I wait 5 minutes before the meeting at my computer ... 😅 One time I had a meeting for a committee with professors, other teachers and one person of the examination office. My meeting software crashed and didn't function in time - so I was late. Before I joined I got a call from them (just to make sure I hängt Format about the meeting) and when I explained that there was a software issue it was all okay. But it felt very embarassing for me 😅 At the meetings of a less formal committee we just talk a little before the start and when the head of the meeting thinks everyone is there or it's getting late (like 10 min), he starts the meeting. No big deal there

[@CitizenLUL]

Forever on time, never late. We all heard it :D

[@antiqueradionut]

First off, you must be from CA. LOL I live in NJ and was raised to be punctual. But I also realize that not everybody is. I prefer the old school of being early for a meeting, your job, or an appointment. For me, getting there early gives me time to unwind.

[@joeviolet4185]

So streng, wie Du das schilderst, klingt das für mich wie Hamburg. In Süddeutschland ist das viel entspannter. 1-2 Minuten zu spät zu einer Besprechung zu kommen, ist nicht schlimm, die Teilnehmer unerhalten sich sowieso am Anfang über andere Dinge, bis der Organisator sagt: "Lasst uns anfangen."

[@chrissoclone]

No answer why, I never got along with German punctuality (and I am German). No matter how much you crunched or worked late the day before, if you're 5 minutes late you get a huuuge and very personal lecture. I struggled with it all my life, I hate it, it might be the one thing I'd actually like about the US if you guys are more relaxed.

[@tiberius8390]

Idk. Quite a few people in my company (It's a big German company) don't even come to meetings they are invited to unless they are directly involved. I myself have just declined invitations of my boss multiple times if I have something more important to do. Because for us we could sit in meetings all day and listen to blah blah of a lot of people, but you clearly won't get anything done this way. So people adjusted and often miss meetings. Nobody bats an eye really. It's only "bad" if they are vital to that meeting. If you miss that then usually you might get called and invited again or just get asked why you didn't come (for which you then obviously need a sound reason). But no lecturing.

[@FINNSTIGAT0R]

I don't get that reprimanding and lecturing about things to other people thing. I kid you not, we Finns are very mild mannered usually, but if even my boss would start "lecturing" me about being late, like, 5 minutes or less, I would not just take it like a good boy. Those lectures are for children, not for adults. Adults don't have to listen that kind of crap from other adults. Not from your boss, not from your friends, not from anyone. If it was a stranger or a casual acquintance I'd probably respond to him/her in a very obnoxious and rude manner. Just thinking about someone lecturing me about my non detrimental little failings, like being a few minutes late raises my heartbeat and fills my head with desire to straight up punch that someone in the mouth, no kidding. Finns probably are very mild mannered because we try to do the best we can to avoid confrontation. Because we don't do those situations well - it's from 0 to 100 in a second if someone clearly crosses the line of acceptable behaviour. You do not "give a strict talking to" to a Finn. If you do, the best case scenario is, that you will now forever be perceived to be a total asshole, and whatever relationship you had, is now now badly bruised forever, if you don't apologize for your rude lecturing and mean it too. Yes, the lecturing is WAY more rude than being late a minute or two. Sorry for the rant. It's just so umbelievable, that grown people reprimand each other like they were children. I just really don't get it. I guess I could never live in Germany 😂

[@GhostSheep96]

I've called the 116117 often here in Munich and never had this experience^^

[@Ultraporing]

I was taught (more like hammered in by my dad) while growing up here: "On time means you are 30min to 10min(worst case) earlier where you need to be work/school/meeting/friends(more flexibility, communication is key. always ask when arriving at a friends house earlier if its ok). And arriving on the dot i.e. meeting at 10 AM arriving at 10 AM is being late and frowned upon." Because most people take time out of the schedule for YOU, and you have mostly a reason while meeting. And often the time before hand will be used to prepare stuff so on. When you can not make it on time just communicate and send them a message / call them or whatever to let them know. It's good form and showing respect for the other people. Small personal bit from my life. I work in a small engineering company, literally the boss and me. And he lives in Germany for over 30 years now, originally from Poland and lived in France as well. And he is often 15-30min late for whatever reason. And I noticed it pisses me off to no end, especially when waiting and not even getting a message about it. One time he managed to let me wait for 1 1/2h for him to pick me up so we can go to a meeting with a client 350km away. Which Irked me to no end ofc because I did not even know If I had some time to do at least housework or quickly buy a few groceries. Anyways I think the punctuality is a lot about shared goals with the people, showing respect and allowing them to plan effectively for things like picking the kids up or just going to a doctors appointment like you noticed yourself.

[@Denis8411]

Good luck, hopefully everything works out. That probably depends on a company, your stance in the team and culture. You seem very stressed about it though

[@smtpgirl]

I am from German ancestry and I know how the punctuality thing works, however, me being a US citizen, I have had interviews where the interviewer is 10 minutes late and I logged into the meeting at 9:59. I have been close to habitually late because my focus darts from one end to another. I also have ADD and have had an experience of disappointments because of punctuality. East coast thing. I want to work in Germany for the experience. I wish you all the best and I am glad to have found this YT channel. I live in the Washington DC area, where EVERYTHING needs to be done yesterday. In my past guilty of suspect driving and being rude to people that interfere with my time. This is a hamster wheel of death. Take German culture and learn it but sometimes your life matters more.

[@SageMindWhisper]

"The punctuality is a very important thing in Germany" Train drivers: "ok" :)))))

[@to.l.2469]

Do you really think the train operator is responsible for delays?

[@bigernie9433]

Pünktlichkeit ist die Höflichkeit der Könige as the (originally French) proverb goes. Regarding meetings, I appreciate a lot that they finish on time. Whether they start one two minutes late I do not really care.

[@markhnk]

I'm a German living in Germany, but working for years with international teams for either US-American companies or in departments that had their headquarters in the US. Especially with the influx of meetings (which is a problem by itself, but a different story) we are expected to be punctual. To be professional. It simply doesn't work otherwise. So maybe it's not so much German culture you are struggling with but work culture?

[@markhnk]

​@Karma Consciousness I just said that I think the punctuality thing is more related to work culture than specifically to German culture. As I understood it both of these cultures are new to her. I understand ADHD/ADD is the reason why the punctuality is an issue, but my comment was not about the symptom all.

[@gabrieleghut1344]

You should come to Meetings before the Meeting officially starts. It shows respect and before the Meeting starts you can get settled and do your small talk. People have other appointments or work to do after the Meeting. I hate when people are late and everybody has to wait. Don't do everything in the last minute and be there in time. Don't let friends and family wait either when you have a date.

[@Ilnath]

In Denmark we are also punctual.. although we tend to be more relaxed if someone is a bit late.

[@lphaetaamma291]

if your internet crashes when you try to enter a meeting, you say "sorry for being late, my internet crashed" and noone will be mad, as this are unforeseen circumstances

[@couchpotatoeschuh]

In our company sometimes people start the meeting 5 minutes BEFORE the actual meeting time. I always ignore that and come in at the exact time. But it also happend that they were already talking about me and why i am late and if i forgot about the meeting although i was not late and just on time... I really hate that and i will go on with joining on time and not minutes before its actual starting time.

[@nirfz]

I am neither a german, nor in germany, but not far away, and it's the same here. The thing is: if the meeting is scheduled for a certain time, this is the time the meeting is supposed to start, not the time people should show up. It's the same with the time your shift starts at work. If your working time is from 7-4 for example, it doesn't mean you enter the building at 07:00 and then get ready to start. It means 07:00 is when you start working, so depending on how long you need to prepair yourself, you arrive earlier to be able to start at time. Of course there can be something that prevents you from being on time (but it is unrealistic to be always late without ones own fault) but then you call or message the others before the agreed time that you are going to be late. They will appreciate if they get the information before waiting for you to show up. Additional annoying fact: academics in my country are often used to being 15 minutes late. That is the timeframe in university where the last lesson is recapitulated. Outside of places like university It annoys everyone else, but they tink it's normal until they get "informed" that they now have entered the workforce and aren't at uni anymore...

[@svejobaron]

When meeting with friends I am usually come 10min early to 5min late, if I will differ from this or it looks like I am late I tell them immediately. And they do this more or less the same. I think it's just rude when you have to wait for someone and he/she doesn't even care to tell you that they are late

[@steffenp6554]

I experience the opposite: Working in the UK for more than eight years I still find myself sitting lonely in a meeting 5 minutes before it starts…

[@mjmoonbow]

Fünf Minuten vor der Zeit, das ist wahre Pünktlichkeit! xD

[@robertzander9723]

If you have an official meeting with someone, punctuality is necessary and a kind of respect to the other person's that like to take their time for you. If it happens once that someone is late okay, that can happen. But if it happens five times a week and then not just a minute or three. I would believe he/she doesn't like the other person's and don't care about them. And if that person doesn't care on that point, maybe he/she is not reliable and trustworthy in other points and is about to waste my time. In Germany punctuality is a serious thing and people have to respect that. Being five to ten minutes earlier gives you the opportunity to check everything and get ready for things you like to do in next couple of minutes or hours. And maybe there is not that one meeting, maybe there are a few more the whole day for your colleagues, co-workers or the meeting is just the beginning and the people like to start their usual work after that meeting to finish the work also in time to meet their families or friends after work, they like to use their free time in a better way than work. I know for US Americans free time can be a weird thing. Two minutes here, five minutes there and another 3 minutes later and if that goes on the whole day, you can miss twenty to thirty minutes per day where you could do other things. First it starts with one or two minutes and after a while it feels okay and then it will be always five minutes and then that becomes normal and so on.

[@fonkbadonk2957]

A 30min waiting time is rather tame imho. I've been waiting 1h+ at my Hausarzt at times, WITH an appointment I made weeks in advance. As with yourself, also the docs have "things that just happen" and are more immediate than keeping all appointments straight for the day. As these then often concern matters of life and death, even Germans (mostly) accept these. But if you have to plan around doc appointments and other ones for the day, I made it a habit to always put in at least an hour of buffer after the expected doc visit, more if it's a bit of a drive.

[@berndhoffmann7703]

12:19 because if it is accepted to enter a meeting late the others have to wait, it is a lot of money payed for idling. Moreover if one arrives 5 Min. late the next time another will arrive 10 Min late and so on. Furthermore any interruption after the meeting has begun is annoying for the others and they loose their train of thoughts. Image in a opera, when arriving after the start of the performance. In private settings it is different, when meeting at a bar or cafe usually people are not being on time, at least 15 Min late, depending on the setting, f.ex. Regarding clubbing that could be up to 1 hour. If invited by someone to his home: one would not turn up exact at the time, maybe 5-10 Min later, but not 20. Min. late.

[@volkerp.2262]

The KV is the Kassenärztliche Vereinigung (Association of Statutory Health Insurance Physicians). This association organize the payment for the doctors from the law health insurance patients. So they have a lot of power against the doctors.

Austrian, not German, but I think the culture is very similar in this respect (although possibly a bit more lenient/forgiving). Generally it is a matter of showing respect for the time of the others. Being unpunctual without informing others will waste their time and be considered rude. Just being late a few minutes without comment may be considered a sign of bad planning or unstructured personality. How much unpunctuality will be tolerated without further ado is very much a matter of how well one knows the other people and how important one is for the meeting (and when), and individual personality of course. For new acquaintances punctuality is crucial, unless there is a good explanation. Also hierachy will play a role, e.g. do not let top management wait, it may be more acceptable the other way around (within narrow limits, though, it will also be rude if they are 20 minutes lade without a very goodreason). When joining a meeting with well acquainted team members, when one's input is not immediately required and optimally they know one may be delayed there is no issue. Just let them know in advance, i.e. do not let them wait for you. Being much too early may also be considered to be a sign of bad planning and probably being a nuisance, disrespecting the time of others. Here it mostly depends on the situation, e.g. if waiting alone is an option, it can be fully O.K. if there is no problem with that. For an external meeting (non-online) I will normally try to be about 5-10 minutes early, already considering to be a few minutes early when having passed through elevators etc. With online meetings I will enter the room roughly five minutes early, move it to another monitor (an advantage of a multi-monitor setup) and do something else until the meeting starts on time or other people join the room (depending on technology). I really think the biggest issue is about leaving initial impressions, and informing people if one knows unpunctuality may be an issue in advance, or letting them know as soon as possible. I.e. showing respect for their effort and time. I do agree, punctuality is an issue for this culture, but there is nuance to circumstance.

[@tiberius8390]

It's not all that serious about punctuality, but I guess that also depends on the company and the co-workers. In my company we have a lot of meetings and they usually take longer than scheduled. So people are always late to the following meetings. That's just the way it is. Nobody is really mad unless it's an important meeting and that specific person you are waiting for is vital to that meeting. And if none of the "VIPs" comes like 5 min into the meeting everybody just leaves - or talks about other stuff like family or economics or politics sometimes. :)

[@Freelightgermany]

i can say to this topic our meeting system begin invitation 5 min before so it give u time to get out on what u working. So most of the time i am in a few minutes before. But it can happen then work keep me busy but a small chat to my boss its no problem to log in later. More important is to inform right on time that u maybe late.

[@0910MK1]

It's about respect. If someone is always on time and once he's late, everyone will understand that something's wrong, e.g. internet down. But someone who is always late - even for a minute - is disrespectful because everyone else is busy too but does his best to respect the other's timetable. So always having to wait for that one person can make you impatient. Yes, it's a German thing which we learned growing up: We have to respect others and in return can expect to be respected by others. But I read that when you are invited - e.g. for dinner - it's still "höflich" (polite) to come 5 min late or even 5 min early. That's also my experience with other Germans.

[@BooksCriticism]

I think we are just trained that way since school. Every minute you were late was written down. you are 2 minutes late - we will write that down. And in my school - dont know about others - they would actually add those minutes up so they would see how many hours you missed on top of your missing days. So of course you were early. Sometimes 15 minutes early. That also leads to a very great unwritten rule in school tho - the teacher is 15 minutes late, great the lesson is not taking place, you can go. I think in jobs when you have different shifts its especially important. I work as a nurse and when the collegue who has the late shift appears late, and I have to stay longer in my morning shift -it's a bit rude. I actually dont know many people who like to be late - I actually got anxiety attacks when I was late. I was 30 minutes late to school one day, because there was an accident in front of the bus I was in, and I nearly cried because I knew I was going to be late. I panicked so much, the bus driver called my school to tell them about the accident. So crazy.

[@maximilianmaier3950]

I feel the punctuality thing at work really depends on the people you have a meeting with. I do all my work on my laptop and if someone is late for a meeting I'll just use the time to check my emails or something like that, so it doesn't bother me at all. But if I had a job like in production, where sitting in a meeting room just waiting for someone actually keeps me from doing my main job, I probably would get really pissed too.

[@johannesheinsohn6956]

5:00 "116 117" is the doctors union hotline that you can call for any medical issues independently which public health insurance organization you have chosen to go with. Their appointment making service is usually pretty good. Additionally every public health insurer (like Techniker) maintain their own hotlines. "If you´re dying", please call the emergency number "112" for an ambulance or visit the next ER. It doesnt make you go bankrupt like in the US. Public Health insurance **yay**

[@jensschroder8214]

Punctuality: at work we have a clock, so when we start work we hold the chip in front of it to confirm my presence. If I confirm 30 seconds late, 15 minutes will be deducted from my working hours. If I hold the chip 30 seconds early at the end of the shift, then another 15 minutes are gone. In addition, I am not allowed to wash or change clothes during working hours. Only the 30 minute break is free. This is the Prusian discipline that the old soldiers learned. But I can also go to the toilet for a moment, just don't stand in the corner for ages smoking and chatting. But if I have to wait for the stabler driver again or the machine has to be repaired, then the waiting time is work for me if I have given notice that it does not work. If I cannot come to work I have to be called immediately, even if I am sick. Then the boss has to reschedule.

[@papierverliebt]

Punctuality means that the time you spend with the other person is important to you. But don't worry, there are Germans who struggle with being on time... My brother is usually late while I'm usually 10-15 minutes early. Our mother still doesn't know how this happened because she raised us the same way.

[@klauskohler8048]

Just make a DNA test. Could give you a surprise...😎

[@martinjunghofer3391]

ist doch ganz einfach: bei der Geburt - Du warst pünktlich, er kam einige Tage später - und das zieht sich durchs ganze Leben :-)

[@frauantjeshayday-farmen9517]

First story - I am so sorry for you that you had difficulties with that rude person! It always depends on who has got the duty (shift among the doctors). Usually they are ok, but it seems you really had bad luck. I grew up in Munich, and there, they have a special word for this kind of women: "Zwidawurzn" - which means something between "root of hatred" and "annoying weed". Do not throw this number over board!!! There are usually two ways to deal with doctors or their assistents who are refusing to do their job thinking themselves to be gods in white: First way: Ask very calmly: "Darf ich Ihren Namen erfahren?" No discussion, just ask for their name - and they will be afraid, that you might call a lawyer... When you get the name, ask in the same way: "Darf ich erfahren, warum Sie sich weigern mir zu helfen?" - they are going to help you because refusing to help you is a crime - it might cost them their job and license. Maybe cursing you, but they will help you. As far as I understood, it was at the doctor's where they were so unfriendly. Just call again 116117 and tell them, that the doctor they sent you to refused to help you. The doctor's going to get in real trouble. They'll still curse you, but they'll do their job by then. The second way you might choose: If the doctor is just convinced of his grandiosity, it might help to show that you are really anxious, if necessary even whiny: O sir, what might this be?! It hurts soooo much! My eyes are burning, my head is glowing, o Sir, soooo badly, what shall I do??? - this is the kind of "respect" they want to get, and they will immediately want to help you. I'm a nurse, and whenever I really wanted one of my patients to go to a hospital , but the doc was thinking low of dumb nurses, I just insinuated the diagnosis by telling every symptom in a hysteric way, and he really thinks, he did the diagnosis, but I made him say what I wanted him to say.- I hate doing so, but with some i... it's necessary to get help for a patient. So I think, manipulating a doc to do his job is annoying but sometimes necessary. Again: it does not have to do with our health system (ok, we are great in bureaucracy 🙄) but with the facts, that they are doing the emergency duty in shifts, and so you might be lucky to have a good and friendly doc or to have an i... Third example: With some docs I knew, they'd never admit a fault, no matter what I was telling them. When I saw, that they would refuse to send a person to the hospital, I'd wait until 6 pm, and then I'd call 112 and tell them about the serious situation of the person. Again with clear description of all symptoms, why I want this person to go to the hospital. And then, no Hausarzt is needed, 112 is the number of emergency, they'll immediately send an ambulance. By this, twice I was able to save a life. It is bad, that we have to deal with pride and wrong self-esteem, but you might have the same problem in every nation, as everywhere there are good docs and docs thinking themselves to be better than they are. Just think about it - in the USA, you'd have even to pay for this rudeness and still to search for another doc, with us, you'll have to deal with them, but you don't have to pay them. Btw. the assistant was not allowed to tell you, they had too many patients - for urgent cases, they have to reserve some place on their timetable. So the assistent just did not do her job. Nevertheless I admit, that I changed my doc, because his assistant became more and more rude.

[@raidri_conchobair]

When you have a business meeting with people waiting for you, it absolutely is your moral duty to let them know that something got in your way so you won't come across rude by leaving them out of the loop. When people are waiting for you, it has to do a lot with respect. Imagine you have an appointment at college with your professor or the dean of the university. Would you come late? Would you let him or her wait? I don't think so. Being late is just a sign of disrespect when the only reason for being late is that you are unorganized or forgetful. In case there is a good reason for being late, just let people know and call them. That's the least you can do. The other story where people are ready to push the button at 9:59:59 is a story I absolutely can't relate to. Never heard of that conditions and if it's true ... change the company, haha. And why would you wanna stand in the longest line in the supermarket? I don't get your point there. And it is absolutely not the case that when you have good reasons to be late that anyone would be mad at you. Only stupid people would act like that. And yes ... if you have a meeting with your boss, you do not let him wait. That's disrespectful as fuck!

[@wora1111]

When we had an onsite meeting in my swiss company it was expected/normal to call in, if you expected to be "not in time" i.e. one minute or more late. With online meetings I also expect everybody to be present on the minute. If you are late 1 minute or more an apology is given - even by French speaking people. Usually I dial in 1-5 minutes early, put on my earphones, turn off my camera and micro and finish whatever I was doing before. That way I am on the safe side but still can do something else up to the last second and it bothers me less, if somebody is late. Most meetings interrupt something else you are doing. Therefore if I interrupt my work for this meeting I want everybody else to be on time as well, such minimizing the interruption of my work.

[@mikropower01]

The most of the time it is not so important if you are a bit late. Sometimes it is even not important if you come an hour to late. You know ... life is not always perfect, things will not work as expected. But if you want to do something, like driving with the train, a bus and a S-Bahn from your home to work and there is a one hour cycle (the same line is driving every one hour), then it is very important that every part of the chain is in time. If not, then you have to wait a long time to get the next train. There are other situations, where it is useful to have some specific rules. If you are in the university and the lecture starts at 8 o'clock and the professor is not there, then you have to wait 15 minutes and then you are free to go. Normally we say: "Fünf Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Deutschen Pünktlichkeit." So, if you are a little bit to early, then this is a good way to act. Even if there is a little problem on your way, then you will have a little bit buffer to make it. Sometimes this can be very useful.

[@benlegend4432]

Das P in "Deutsche Bahn" steht für "Pünktlichkeit... someone forgot to tell the trains about being on time!

[@peterfischer7084]

The 116117 is the number of the "Terminservicestelle" of public health insurances. They guarantuee you to get a specialist appointment within a maximum of one month. If they can't you can see a hospital ambulance or a private doctor at no extra cost.

[@dominikmanthei4546]

I am wondering how it used to be in your school. Were you supposed to apologize when too late?

[@HiFromHamburg]

No there was no apologizing. Most of the teachers didn’t care too much. They would just ignore the people who come in late.

[@theprovideoshorts5959]

ADD you have Dyslexia i have same problem too 😂 6:10

[@gyroscopicme]

In US corporate culture, being late to a meeting without any previous updates or status is considered rude to coworkers because it shows you don't respect *their* time. A pattern of it can even get a person fired. It's considered good US manners to set expectations if you are going to be late. Likewise, if you are en route to a meeting, and are delayed, sending a text or email to adjust expectations is seen as standard behavior for a professional worker. Meeting start times are somewhat flexible within the first few minutes, but after 5 minutes the meeting will begin -- or be cancelled if the main presenter fails to show. So, no, tolerating lateness to meetings is NOT an American thing. Corporate culture is fairly consistent in every country I have experience working in (USA, America, Germany, Austria, Italy, England, and more).

[@johannesheinsohn6956]

10:00 in German academia there is also appointments that state explicitely the level of importance of being punctual. There is e.g. 15:30s.t. (s.t. = latin for "sine tempore" = no spare time = be punctual) or 15:30c.t. (c.t. = latin for "cum tempore" = with spare time = being up to 15 minutes late is accepted as the academic quarter, no excuse needed or expected). Anyway, as most appointments in the general public are s.t. I always call friends, colleagues or doctors offices in advance for courtesy, if I can´t make it in time and give them an E.T.A. so they can adapt accordingly. Even if we´re talking about just 5 minutes! Still, being late should stay an exception. I know a lot of other people (me included) giving certain people specific earlier appointment times, ´cause of their regular lateness and letting others waiting. I would consider that self-defense protecting my valueable time. If those people miracly show up punctual one time and nobody is there yet, they get a first hand experience of waiting for once.

[@justcallmejohn2833]

Yeah a minute isn't late in the US. Maybe all smartphones are synchronised but how many clocks are?

[@SimpleMe-Tanja-Photographer]

Tipp : Be there 15 min BEFORE the appointment . Thats how we get teached . NEVER on last Minute ..always early enough. Nobody wants to wait that long .beside that they also have other things to do than to wait for somebody . So ALWAYS try to be there a bit earlier than planned . See ... when we make appointments its barely just one appointment that day . So our Time Management is often very tight . So we always try to be there a bit earlier than planned , to make sure ,nobody has to wait for us . It wont work without that. What about school?Is it there the same ? ( few minutes and nobody cares !?) I think thats annoying for a teacher to start again and again . So we learn very early to be there in time .

[@Joungblood666]

i can explain that punctualy thing in one word = respect

[@Adalbert777]

Being punctual is a sign of respect. Being late without any note is wasting other person’s time - and time is priceless. That being said: a minute or two later is not a big deal (if you know the person), but five minutes is too much. Modern calendar applications allow you to schedule meetings which end a few minutes earlier than the usual half or full hour boundary. That helps to avoid the back-to-back meetings.

[@martinjunghofer3391]

Punctuality is one side of the coin, the other side is the work-life-ballance, which is also highly praised by Americans: if everyone is constantly unpunctual, everyone has to work longer, among other things! And we don't love that! And by the way, your friend could make that clear to you! By the way, what do you do when your bus, train or plane leaves on time in America and you are 1/2 minute late and you can only see the vehicle from behind? Blame the driver?

[@gaiaorigin9569]

Usually if a meeting is planned for 10 am, everyone is already there at 9:55 so you can get the meeting started at 10. And if you're late, just let the other persons know, even if it's just a couple minutes.

[@CathyBrook123]

I'm working as PhD in university and feel like ppl being late for several min (or even longer) for meetings is somehow common.. 😂

[@ExtremeTeddy]

Be glad that they waited and continued the meeting. Normally a apointment might get canceled when the important persons are late 10-15 Minutes. The punctiality is about efficiency. No one likes to waste time. Be efficient and enjoy the spare time you get out of it.

[@DarkCid7777]

I thought I was crazy about punctuality, but I guess Germany takes it to another level. I'm french working in a mostly American company. I like to be on time in the meeting, always joinning a couple minutes before if I can. I don't really care much if people are late for a couple of minutes. I'm starting to get annoyed after the 10-15 minutes late. It must be a bit stressful to always be speeding in everything you do, it's surely efficient and you spare some time, but stressful.

[@b.w.9244]

Must learn how to counter snarky sarcasm with snarkier sarcasm. I have been told that Germans will back right down if you counter their yelling with louder closer yelling. My specialty!

[@TheFirstBathroomHero]

Being on time at work it's just professional and being on time in your free time is just a sign that your own time is the same important as the time of your friends. So I don't let them waite.

[@NotMyName888]

There's an element of common sense to the American attitude about punctuality. It's about balancing priorities. Yes it's important to be on time. However if we're talking about the difference of a minute or two, it's MORE important to make your team feel comfortable. To be polite and agreeable. To put people at ease. To work cooperatively. To enjoy your time. To avoid unnecessary stress. To not sweat the small stuff. Common sense.

[@11mahalesaurav18]

Love from India 🇮🇳🇮🇳

[@sysyphenf8ewtfr603]

Being late is a problem unless if its trains.

[@haviksklauw]

I hate to be to late I come every time better 10 minutes earlier then one second to late.

[@Waldur22]

I think this punctuality issue is all about efficient use of time. Someone being late could for example mean that the meeting goes over making everyone be late for the next meeting. This can all add up to someone needing to stay longer at work to get all the work done. However, I also think what you experienced is either overblown or you misunderstood. While most Germans definitely notice someone being late by 1 or 2 minutes, I have never experienced anyone getting emotionally upset by that (unless they are always late). With regards to the apologizing, I also don't think it is as serious as you make it out to be. When someone is 2 minutes late and apologizes, I view that as a sign of awareness and courtesy. Nothing more.

[@frolleinpunkt]

Like others said before: it's about respect for the time of others. I mean, being late happens, but others will be not pleased if it happens to often because they get the feeling that they arent important enough for you/your time and this feeling in a workplace could lead to a feeling of doing someones elses work. While within friendships it could lead to huge disappointments when not having the feeling of being important enough to the person that is late. It's a bit complicated but what did you expect.. it's Germany. 😅